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Amen, the title of the sermon this morning is The Importance of Good Communication The Importance of Good Communication Let's look at verse number one in Proverbs chapter 16 It says, The preparations of the heart in man and the answer of the tongue is from the Lord Now skip down to verse number ten It says, A divine sentence is in the lips of the king His mouth transgresseth not in judgment Look at verse number thirteen It says, Righteous lips are the delight of kings and they love him that speaketh right So obviously a lot of the theme of this chapter is talking about how to communicate with people and so there's various, this is a huge subject and I spent a lot of time putting this together and of course it probably won't be communicated correctly, no I'm just kidding But I just, I wanted to preach about this I think it's so important that we understand because one of the main things we do in our life is communication You know and how we communicate with people can help us or it can hurt us So let's have a word of prayer and we'll get into the sermon okay Heavenly Father we thank you Lord so much for this great church and we thank you so much for all the people here and I pray that you'd fill them with your spirit and that we would have a great spirit filled day in your house today Lord and I pray you'd fill me with your spirit as I began to preach and help me to communicate in a good way this morning in Jesus' name I pray, amen Alright so again so I told you in the, see I can't even talk already This is how God gets me when I try to preach the sermon about communication No but it is important to learn how to communicate good and I'm still learning You know this sermon is, you know you hear pastors say that this sermon is for me Well this sermon is kind of for me too so because I communicate that's what I do for a living So it's important that I learn to communicate correctly too and there's a lot of things just as I was studying this I was thinking man I need I need help I need help but hopefully this sermon will be a help to you and obviously you're not going to listen to the sermon and walk out an excellent communicator you got to apply these principles and practices into your life and already we've seen just in the first four verses I've read to you or three verses I read to you that communication and how we communicate is important Look at verse number 21 it says the wise in heart shall be called prudent and the sweetness of the lips increases learning That's a very interesting proverb there and so I mean I guess I would interpret it this way the sweetness of the lips increases learning and this is this is meaning that sweetness and opposition to bitterness so you know we don't want to be bitter with our speech all the time we want to be we want to be sweet you know and obviously you know as as people of God we should have good communication sweet communication obviously we all stumble and we fall and we have problems with our communication because there's added things that can hurt our communication there's added things that happen in life that turn your communication from good to bad very quickly right and I'll get into that here just a minute but look at verse 23 it says the heart of the wise teaches his mouth and addeth learning to his lips so if you're wise say you know usually when the bible's saying the person that's wise that person is a person that's saved they're wise because they got saved and if you're a wise person not I'm not talking about the wisdom of the world there's a lot of people out in the world and they'd say that's a wise person that's a smart person that's that person's very smart but God's talking about wisdom when it concerns the scriptures and what concerns the things of God the wise the heart of the wise teaches his mouth and addeth learning to his lips so we should be learning how to communicate better we should if we have issues with communication we should get try to get better at those things right look at verse 24 says pleasant words are as in honeycomb sweet to the soul and health to the bones so what's the bible teaching here that we should use pleasant words more than we use bitter words obviously it's sweet to the soul it's sweet to the here you know when we go out soul wanting we're trying to give them the sweetness of God the the part of God that's the loving part of God and teach them how to be saved right and it says it's health to the bones when people a word fitly spoken you know is is a good thing also it says a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold and pictures of silver sometimes people just need to hear a word fitly spoken and it'll turn their whole day around when I counsel people I try to give them things that will help them and make them feel better and get health to their bones because a lot of the things that we go through in life are very difficult and this world is a wicked and evil place and we're trying to just be existent in a place that we're this place is not our home this world is not our home and eventually the Lord Jesus Christ is going to come back and he's going to change everything and this world the world that we live for the rest of eternity will be far different than the world we live in now and I'm looking forward to that because every week I hear all this new weird stuff that's coming out and that'll be a sermon for later this evening but right now I'm talking about pleasant words all right pleasant words or as in honeycombs sweet to the soul and health to the bones skip down to verse 27 it says an ungodly man diggeth up evil and in his lips there is a burning fire so there's people that do use their lips and their communication in their mouth to do harm to people and that's not what we want to be as Christians we don't want to be that type of person and it further reveals communications of a wicked person in verse 28 a thrower man so is strife they want to they want to just so strife everywhere they go and start that's like starting fights isn't it and it says a whisperer separateth cheap friends so people that so strife people that whisper separate you know you'll say something bad or throw shade upon somebody in order for that person to not like that other person that's what that's wrong that's what a froward person does do you want that to be in your Christian character do you want that to be something that's your part of your Christian life you shouldn't want that skip down to verse 30 it says he shut his eyes to devise forward things moving his lips he bringeth evil to pass see there's some types of communication that when they move their lips when they say things they're trying to bring evil to pass with those words so that's what we want to avoid and look we communicate with those types of people too don't we and so we need to be able to learn how to to deal with these types of people and know what when they're saying something you know it's good to listen to what people say to you and we all fall into the trap of you know being when people flatter us but after three years of being a church here after five years almost basically we should we should understand that there's people that when they say things to us they have a motivation behind what they're saying when they flatter you and say you're the best at this you're the best you're simply the best you're better than all the rest you know it's like that's a flatterer you know because you're really not the best all right you might be the best at some things but you know you're not the best friend ever you're not you know what I mean there's I'm sure there's someone who lived in history that was better than you that's at the things that they say you're better you know I'm saying but flattery is just a way that people go after you that they want to they want to gain your trust and your admiration and then they'll use it later on just to spin you up and to get you upset and you'll you'll be like that person's a good friend I can't believe that did you not notice that they were trying to flatter you did you not notice the subtlety that they were trying to use in order to turn you aside because people do that you know in church life unfortunately and in churches like this there are people like that that exist and you know and eventually they get rooted out they either root themselves out or God roots them out for you and that's just the way it is we have to understand how to deal with people that are trying to communicate with you in that way though don't fall for subtlety don't fall from flattery you know but it works that's why they do it right isn't that why they do it they want to turn you aside they want to they want to communicate things that are gonna stir up things they want to plant seeds in your heart that later on grow into bitterness and that's what people do when they're trying to do evil communications towards us now look at verse 32 it says he that is slow to anger is better than the mighty and he that ruleth his spirit then he that taketh a city so what's the time I'll ruin your spirit well you know in our spirit sometimes we we let the we let the dogs out right you know someone who let the dogs out it's not a good one but it gets stuck in your head so just don't think about it but who let the dogs out like sometimes the dogs get let out of the gate and you forget to rule your own spirit and what happens to your communication when you get angry you say something that you wish you hadn't said right or if you're emotional you know there's all kinds of problems they're gonna make you stop ruling your own spirit and let your communication be things that are coming out of your mouth that shouldn't be coming out of your mouth you what happens when you lose control of your spirit you lose control over your mouth oh yeah that's the first thing that usually people do now this is silent types that the first thing they do instead of something coming out of their mouth they just hit somebody and I've seen those types of people before and maybe been that type of person back in the past but but we shouldn't be like that as Christians obviously we shouldn't let you know our spirit be ruled by our emotions and by you know people using words against us to make us angry I had a guy the other night it seems like people want to attack me when I go over to my daughter's house and they've I've been accused a couple of times of being a probation officer recording people I'm like what are you talking about like every time I'm like outside her house somewhere people come up to me and say weird stuff to me so but last a couple nights ago this guy like had our truck blocked in and and I was like you know thinking okay whatever and so that he's like hey you hit my car last week it's like no no I didn't sure did you hit his car last week he was like accusing us of hitting his truck and then taking off real fast and leaving well I was like look first of all I know that pastors can sin but I'm a pastor and if I hit your truck I would tell you about it it's like I have insurance I wouldn't have any problem with that but the funny thing is he so he someone he goes I got witnesses I said okay well where are they you know it's like they're not here right now okay that was I was really I was I was not I was pretty nice throughout the whole thing but like the guy's accusing my wife of hitting and running on his truck first of all he backs his truck into his parking spot so I'm like okay well how does that work what you just happen to pull him face forward for one time but like there's zero damage on the back of my truck like zero like if you hit something with a truck it makes a mark doesn't it okay and so he's showing me this picture well here's the picture that they took it's isn't that your license plate was like yeah I was like but do you see the year of dust that's been on there since we haven't washed our car like there'd be a paint transfer there'd be marks you know he's like saying that we broke his his tail light on the back of his truck and I looked at first of all I looked at ours I was like look you can look at it there's no damage he's like what about that little crack right there if it was so loud that you could hear it inside your apartment don't you think that there would be a mark on my truck like if it woke you up or whatever you know it's just so the point of me saying this is that you know he was he he was working on getting me spun up I was about ready to unleash on him but I didn't because you know I just I want to communicate well I don't I don't want to escalate the situation but ultimately he's you know he was like well I'll bring the witnesses to you next week and look okay whatever you know but like when I looked at the damage on his truck I couldn't even see it what he was talking about he's like that's a $500 cover on my tail light and I'm like what's wrong with it but you see that little scratch right there I'm like you got a truck bro you know sometimes you're gonna get a scratch on it if you're using it as a man would use it you know you're gonna get some marks on it if it's just like your your hillbilly chariot that's all tricked out with bling bling you know spinner spinner with rims and all that stuff I mean that's that's why don't why not just get like a different kind of car man you know I don't know he's like this is brand new anyway it was really weird but the point of it the story is that I tried to keep the communication right because old old Pastor Thompson would have probably ended up in a fight over that one but you know you're sitting there falsely accusing it's like dude there's no there's no paint transfer there's nothing broken he was like trying to say that our that we the ours was broken and smashed I was like does it look like it's been broken and smashed and replaced I mean you got the wrong person man but we have to communicate well with people otherwise things can escalate so that's why I'm preaching this sermon just so we can get a gauge on how to communicate communication is an important part of our lives and learning how to correctly communicate with people is important we all have communication issues though don't we nobody's perfect nobody's a perfect communicator and adding like I said situational issues to any time type of communication can change the way we would normally speak to someone so let's go through some of these things that I thought up and maybe you guys have a couple ones that you could throw in too but how about anger when you when you're angry how do you communicate roughly most of the time usually when someone's angry your voice gets a little bit louder sometimes it's screaming sometimes it's saying words that you wish you could take back sadness could make you communicate differently also if you're sad your communications probably would be more soft or not able to communicate because you're crying or whatever anxiety when people are anxious or have anxiety issues they communicate differently too sometimes people get angry when they're anxious so and sometimes people just don't want to talk grief once when you're stricken with grief you know your communication is going to be different than when you're just in a normal communicative state but here's the thing we're always in states like that there's always some kind of problem going on but we still have to be able to rule our own spirits as we communicate with people and not just let let the gate open and anything we want come out of our mouths fatigue can also make you communicate differently when you're tired when I'm tired I'm kind of a bear honestly if I'm like super tired I'll just I'm like a bear I need to go hibernate or I'm gonna be you know that mean where the Bears like hey guys that's what people normally think I'm like but when you see me tired I'm like that you know so sickness can make you communicate differently I'm also a bear when I'm sick I get a little little you know so don't be around me when I'm sick and hunger can make you you know that that term hangry when you're hangry when you haven't eaten breakfast and you need a Snickers bar you can communicate differently you know so like when your wife's yelling at you just like give her a snack you know maybe that will help but fear fear can also change the way you communicate with people that you so the all these things are things that you would you know we have these these types of situations that happen in our communication should still be in a way that we're acting in a godly manner so but fear has we would say things that we normally wouldn't say what motivated Peter to deny the Lord he was afraid he was afraid and what did he do denied the Lord would he normally do that absolutely not but he was he was just taken over by fear to the point where he denied his Lord and said that he didn't know him and then he began to what cuss he began to swear you blank any blank I don't know him then the cock crows right so our mode of communication can become pretty vulgar or cruel or untruthful or weak or whiny or soft or harsh based upon the situations that we're in so I'm just gonna go through some things also that I just thought of and obviously I'm not gonna cover all topics of communication but one thing that came to mind is the gospel it's very important that we communicate the gospel correctly because honestly people's lives are on the line their eternal lives are on the line so if like you're willy-nilly and you haven't gotten better at your presentation you know it's your turn to talk you're talking but like you're not you're not you know keeping up on your your skills and keeping your sword sharp the the difference between that person getting saved and not getting saved could depend on how you communicate the gospel to somebody let's look at Ephesians chapter 6 verse 19 Ephesians chapter 6 verse number 19 Ephesians chapter 6 verse 19 says and for me that utterance may be given unto me that means you speak with your mouth right that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel what's Paul saying he's saying he wants people to pray for him that he would be able to have utterance that he may open his mouth boldly this is the Apostle Paul even the Apostle Paul obviously had communication that he wanted people to help him and pray for him that he would be able to communicate the gospel the way it should be communicated to make known the mystery of the gospel verse 20 for which I am an ambassador in bonds that therein I may speak boldly as I ought to speak so what are the what is one of the things he's saying that he may speak boldly and see that's something that you need to learn to do when you're preaching the gospel to people you know hey it you kind of do have to sell it in a way and I'm not saying sell it like a salesman I'm just saying when you preach the gospel someone you should have boldness and just be like hey this is what the Bible says this is what the Bible teaches I believe this but people can tell if you're if you're being wishy-washy and whether you care about them or not I mean communication is everything when it comes to presenting the gospel and some people just need to get out and actually preach the gospel maybe you're not preaching the gospel maybe you're not getting people saved as much as you used to be well maybe you need to shore yourself up and maybe you just need to get out and actually go so it says that I you know that I may be speak boldly as I ought to speak we ought to be bold when we're at the door and not be like I'm gonna just pick on Ezra for a second I I took him out and did he tell you that I've made him knock some doors last week he didn't tell you see he's not even communicating with you but I made Ezra knock some doors with me last week and he did he did a good job I was just like you know trying to help him like say speak up you know speak up people need to be able to hear you when you're preach when you're preaching the gospel but he got it you got a couple of one guy just kind of shut the door in his face and but that's a good that's gonna happen but doesn't mean you should stop being bold so maybe a hundred people that knock on their doors and they answer don't want to talk to you but we're looking for that one diamond in the rough that wants to be saved right so someone's immortal soul is in the balance when we preach the gospel so make sure that you're trying to communicate effectively and I'm not talking about people are learning I've watched people fumble through a gospel presentation I thought there's no way this person's getting saved and they end up getting saved it does take you know your effort and sometimes you have to get better at communicating obviously you're going to get better the more you do it you're gonna get if you preach the more you preach the better you're gonna get at doing it so maybe you suck last time but you're gonna you're gonna be less sucky the next time and you know hopefully but you got to study you got to prepare yourself to communicate to people look at Colossians chapter 4 verse 6 Colossians chapter 4 verse 6 we also should know what we're talking about when we're preaching and I'm talking about preaching at the door all right because everybody in this room should be able to preach the gospel you know as long as you're saved and you're old enough to do so or whatever but look what it says let your speech what's your speech the things that you say be all way with grace seasoned with salt that you may know how you ought to answer every man and now apologetics will use the this verse to say see we're supposed to answer every you know but this is in regards to the gospel we need to you know because you're not always going to be having grace in everything you say for the for every conversation for your whole life sometimes there needs to be some thunderous rebukes and God obviously tells the prophets in the Old Testament and then you know to rebuke people you know rebuke and he also says the prophets of the New Testament to rebuke so obviously when you're rebuking someone there's not a lot of grace in that generally you're telling someone they're wrong and you're usually yelling and screaming when you're doing that or just maybe talking really loud or you know we're supposed to still rebuke people but so it when in regards to the gospel we should have grace with these people they don't understand they don't understand what you're talking about a lot of times and we start using terms that they don't really understand like we're Church we got the churchy talk but they don't understand the churchy talk you know what I'm saying so we got to have grace with people seasoned with salt so I would say that's probably the boldness that we have to have and we have to tell truths that might sting hell is a real place you can't just avoid hell in your gospel presentation and expect that people are gonna get saved they're not gonna get saved because what are they getting saved from they're not getting saved at all because you're not being salty you're not telling them you know that's yeah you are a sinner you need to admit that or you're not gonna be able to be saved look at Matthew chapter 12 verse 34 and right now I'm talking about our communication when it comes to the gospel Matthew chapter 12 verse 34 says a generation of vipers how can you being evil speak good things for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh a good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things this is talking about communication but it says but I say unto you that every idle word that men shall speak they shall give an account thereof in the day of judgment for by thy words thou shalt be justified and by thy words thou shalt be condemned so your words can be condemning to yourself your words can help somebody call upon the name of the Lord to get saved and they'll be justified by the communication that comes out of their mouth see how important communication is it's so important that you can't even be saved without it you cannot be saved without communication so whatever form that takes you still have to communicate truthfully and these people when they say I don't believe that they're condemning themselves with their communication to what they believe turn to Romans chapter 10 verse 8 Romans chapter 10 verse number 8 and of course we know these verses very well I got to speed up here a little bit because I got a lot to go through still I'm just telling I'm communicating that to myself so that I'll kick myself in the pants here look at Romans chapter 10 verse 8 but what saith it the word is nigh thee even in thy mouth and in thy heart that is the word of faith which we preach that if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus isn't that communication and shall believe in thine heart that God raised him from the dead thou shalt be saved what's the Bible saying there you got to confess it with your mouth you got to say what you believe your words are going to justify yourself whether you're going to be saved or not Romans 10 10 for with the heart man believeth unto righteousness and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation communication for the scripture saith whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed for there's no difference between the Jew and the Greek for the same Lord overall is rich unto all that call upon him isn't that communication too yeah for whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved you must communicate what you what you need to do to be saved right you have to call upon the name of the Lord and he will save you but if you don't call upon the name of the Lord is he going to save you absolutely not you have to communicate that with the Lord how then shall they call on him whom they have not believed and how shall they believe in him who they have not heard you got to hear it that's communication how shall they hear without a preacher if nobody preaches the gospel to someone then they're not going to get saved just that simple doesn't say how shall they believe without a Bible being in front of them I mean you have to have the Bible to be saved but what I'm saying is you're not going to get saved without communication that's the way God designed it he you know he he says that we have to have a preacher he's chose the foolishness of preaching to save them right the foolishness of preaching see the people that we go to preach to they think it's foolishness when we come to them with the gospel but that's what God chose so who are we to judge what God says is our mode of salvation it's not reading the Bible by yourself it's communication that you communicate from a person now how about a spouse your spouse now husbands or wives you know your communication can make you stay married or get divorced you know it's it's it's the communication between a husband and wife is very important and sometimes we cross the line we hurt the ones that we love the most sometimes don't we and we don't mean to want sometimes we get carried away but look your communication with your spouse is going to determine some things it's very important that you communicate well you know don't be this caveman guy this is like dinner dinner you think that that's a great relationship to have or you're just holding the plate out for your wife every time I mean it's not wrong but like there should be some love with that right thank you please please you know they teach that to kids and little kids songs please and thank you right you should be that way with your wife too you should communicate with her and even if she's telling you a dumb boring story that you don't want to hear just listen and shut up you know obviously if it drags on for weeks or something then that's a different story it's like okay I've had enough but you should still be nice the way you know I'm sure they don't want to hear your dumb boring stories or your the things that interest men do not generally interest women so we're just different in that way but we can still get on board with each other and still communicate with each other and that lets women need to know that they're important in your life you know the wife needs to understand that and it's the same thing with a man if she just cold shoulders you all the time then there's a problem and you need to fix that with communication Pro receptor 15 verse number one says a soft answer turneth away wrath but grievous words stir up strife so you don't have to answer people harshly you don't have to answer your spouse harshly with everything that you say because you know what grievous words stir up anger I said strife didn't I that's bad communication but grievous words stir up anger so when you're answering your wife husband it shouldn't be like this harsh answer because if you answer them softly that it's gonna turn away that wrath it might not happen exactly right when you say it but like a lot of times I've noticed like if I if I'm have a soft answer with my wife she might go away mad but then she's gonna come back nice and feeling bad you want to make that you want to really hit him where it hurts make him feel bad for what they said to you be nice soft answer turns away wrath so and that goes both ways you know if the wife is always just you know on everything that you say you know she should learn to not be great use grievous words as you both need to learn to not use grievous words to upset each other you use a soft answer that turns away that wrath Pro verse chapter 12 verse 18 if you want to turn there you can I'm just gonna buzz through these though Proverbs chapter 12 verse 18 there is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword but the tongue of the wise is health so when we're speaking to our spouse you know we're speaking with anybody for that matter there's people that speak and there's their words are like swords piercing into you you know they just can't talk nicely to the other person it says but the tongue of the wise is health so if you're a wise person if you're a safe person you should use your tongue in a way that brings forth health you know it's good for your health not to bring up grievous words as throw up anger okay so obviously people fight husbands and wives fight sometimes but as Christians we should learn you know if you never learn from your communication mistakes you're never your marriage is never gonna get better so why don't you learn how God wants you to talk to each other and start doing that children Ephesians chapter 6 verse 4 when talks about I'm not gonna go super deep into all this stuff I'm just trying to move along here but your children the way you communicate with your children you know I'm just gonna bring one example but obviously this would include both parents but says in Ephesians 6 4 says and you fathers provoke not your children to wrath well how would you do that teasing them saying things that aren't really nice and and usually dads are more that way we'll say things to our kids and like you know get up and do some push-ups or something why you know when the when they're being when men are being whiny man-childs are being whiny you know our reactions generally to say hey quit being a wimp get up and you know do this or do that or whatever but we we have a tendency to talk to our children in a way that will stir wrath up in them and we shouldn't be that way the Bible says but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord the caring you know obviously there's a time for discipline there's a time for you know rebuke and reproof but your children should know that you love them it shouldn't always be you just stirring up wrath within them provoking them to wrath so we should bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord the caring ways of God and and so they should know you love them they shouldn't be 18 and move out of your house and then they're like my dad never told me he loved me I've heard people say that like I can't believe that the men won't tell their children they love them how weird is that you need to communicate to your children that you love them you know obviously you have to show them that you love them some you show discipline but it look the Christian life isn't only about discipline and you should give grace to your children because don't you want God to have grace with you we should give them grace obviously if it's a grievous sin that they've committed or some kind of sin that you know can't be passed over then obviously you need to spank but like we we as men and and women think we need to bring our children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord not provoke our children to wrath do you want your children to hate you when you grow up well don't communicate with them that you love them don't communicate don't bring them up in the nurture and admonition of Lord let them you know they're gonna leave and walk away from Christ and never come back again so it's a very important the way we communicate with our children and let them know that we love them what about Bible preaching Bible preaching well we need to be also good communicators when we're preaching the Bible look at 2nd Timothy chapter 4 verse 2 and how do we how do we get our learning for communication well the Bible you know unfortunately a lot of pastors in this world now and in this country don't understand what it's like to preach the Bible but you know that's what God tells us to do as preachers 2nd Timothy 4 2 says preach the word what are we supposed to communicate the word the Bible hey let me introduce you to something that pastor how about you preach the Bible sometime it's not just one verse and then you just blather on for 30 minutes and then go to a next verse that's not Bible preaching Bible preachings when you use actual verses how many verses have we already gone through already a lot but I use a lot of Bible in my sermons because you know what the Bible says to preach the word not preach my opinion not preach my commentary and obviously I do comment and I do preach my opinion sometimes but the Bible should be where I get my opinion from it says preach the word be instant in season out of season reprove rebuke exhort with all long-suffering and doctrine what's my job as a preacher preach the word what do I use the word to do I use it to preach things that are not popular and popular and also to reprove tell people they're wrong to rebuke and tell people they're wrong in a very strong manner or exhort with longs all long-suffering doctrine exhort means to encourage people to do things that God wants them to do right 2nd Timothy chapter 3 verse 16 2nd Timothy chapter 3 verse number 16 just a page back in your Bible maybe all scripture how much scripture all scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine for reproof for correction for instruction and righteousness how am I supposed to communicate with the Bible that's what it's saying how do we get our doctrine from the scriptures all scripture how do we get how do we reprove someone with the Bible how do we correct something that someone's doing wrong the Bible how do we instruct someone how to be righteous the Bible you know some pastors should try to do that and this world we're probably not being the place that it is right now because look things are not getting better they're getting worse and you know why because there's a bunch of charlatans out there that won't preach the Bible verse 17 that the man of God may be perfect thoroughly furnished unto all good works what's gonna make me perfect the Bible what's gonna make me thoroughly furnished unto all good works the Bible what am I supposed to preach to you the Bible how are we supposed to preach the Bible how are we supposed to communicate these truths well turn to Ezekiel chapter 6 verse 11 and obviously there's times where I'm not ranting and raving and screaming and kicking you know that's the parts of sermons that people like to attack me over but you know people would actually read the Bible they would know that the way we're supposed to preach is the way I try to preach look at verse 11 Ezekiel chapter 6 thus saith the Lord smite with the hand stomp with the foot and say alas for all the evil abominations of the house of Israel for they shall fall by the sword and by famine and by pestilence how did God tell him to preach he said smite with the hands right stamp with the foot that's not my foot and say alas for all the evil abominations of the house what are we supposed to we're supposed to preach against sin and when we preach against sin we're supposed to be dynamic when we do that how should our communication be dynamic it shouldn't be just like and then he said smite with the hand and stamp with the foot put your glasses on for alas is evil all this about that's how people preach today though it's not edifying at all Isaiah chapter 58 verse 1 says cry aloud spare not lift up thy voice like a trumpet what does the trumpet sound like I wish I could have had someone like blow a trumpet right now it's super loud so it says cry aloud it's not talking about going you know there's a lot of preachers that do this though the crying preachers you know the one that they cry at every sermon it's like people just even women think you're weak when you do that every once in a while you get a little choked up yeah that happens to me sometimes but it's not every sermon you would think I was weak if I did that wouldn't you just admit it I've been under pastors that cry a lot like that and like I remember Sherry's mom when she was with us on this earth she she was just like it just makes me sick when he cries like that I've heard a lot of people say that just women that say that bothers them because you know what it's not talking about crying like with tears I'm again I'm not saying it's not ever allowed but if it's every sermon come on you know put some put a regular shirt and tie on and go wearing that pink shirt and them skinny jeans but anyway the skinny jeans are affecting you but it says cry aloud that means to speak in a loud voice spare not you know you're not you're not trying to let people off scot-free you got to preach against everything and maybe against everybody someone should feel ashamed at some point in the sermon when something's being preached and because you know what we didn't walk in this these doors perfect this morning as far as like you know in our flesh we still have issues don't we every single person this room has issues and so when I preach I try to hit everybody with the the same shot you know and we because we all you know I try to like do the shotgun effect and just try to get everybody you know that buckshot it says show my people their transgression whose people God's people you know why because God's people still have transgression in their lives and it says in the house of Jacob their sins and you know what in the New Testament guess what we are the house of Jacob all right spiritually we are Israel and I know that's a different sermon for a different time but hey God's saying you need to cry aloud you need to spare not and lift up your voice like a trumpet get loud and then rip on people's sins you know what that's gonna do it's gonna make them feel better how does that work I don't know but we got to be torn down so we can be built up sometimes and that's the way God does it so here's some some tips for general conversational etiquette I'm gonna move on here general conversational etiquette people at work strangers family and friends these are some tips and obviously if you want to write these down they're good to meditate on James chapter 1 verse 19 I'm not gonna have you turn to every verse necessarily but if you want to write them down I'll just read some of them for you but if you want to flip hey that's gonna get you better at knowing your Bible help you to be a better communicator anyway James chapter 1 verse 19 wherefore my beloved brethren let every man be swift to what talk does it say talk hurry up and spill out your opinion on everybody else no it says Swift to hear slow to speak slow to wrath so if you want to be a good communicator when someone's talking listen you want to you want to know how people get roped in by these false prophets and these people that want to turn you aside well just try to talk over them all the time instead of listening to what they say you should listen to what people say to you because it can reveal their heart and what their implication what their intentions are when they're trying to communicate with you fees chapter 429 says let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth but that which is good to the use of edifying that it may minister grace onto the hearers so our communication shouldn't be this corrupt communication coming out of our mouth all the time or every other word is the f-word every other word is just swearing and cussing and telling vulgar jokes no we're not supposed to have corrupt communication proceed out of our mouth and obviously everybody has struggles in this area I'm sure when it comes to you know some some of you maybe you've never said what would be considered a cuss word in your whole life but some of us were raised in homes where you thought that was your middle name growing up you know so it's just different for different people and what what are we doing we get angry those old words that old man comes back and that old truck driver and sailor comes back into your life and tries to come out of your mouth right let no corrupt so we should when we talk to people we should do it without corrupt communication psalm chapter 41 verse 3 says set a watch o Lord before my mouth keep the door of my lips hey if you have a problem with this area then a good thing to do would be to ask God to help you with your mouth and not just the times when you're having a normal conversation but when the times when you're angry and the times when you're sad and the times when you're grieving all these different things but let God set a watch before your mouth keep the door of my lips hey the door shouldn't open and have corrupt communication Proverbs 15 2 says the tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright but the mouth of fools pour without foolishness you know those people that just talk talk talk talk talk and a lot of times foolish things are gonna come out of that person's mouth when they're just talking constantly and not shutting the door of their lips sometimes we need to shut our mouth and just listen 2nd Timothy chapter 2 verse 16 says but shun profane and vain babblings shun what does that mean don't have anything to do with it and it says for this will increase unto more ungodliness do you want your conversations do you have with people to have increase in ungodliness no you don't so what would you do shun those profane those profane and vain babblings that people try to speak to you Proverbs chapter 25 verse 11 a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver hey maybe just wait for the right time to say something that's gonna help that person in their daily life and I'm just talking about general conversations okay he that answer at the matter Proverbs 18 verse 13 he that answer at the matter before he heareth it it is folly and shame unto him so when you just want to jump in and commentate on something that you don't know what you're talking about when you're answering a matter before you hear before you hear it it's a folly and a shame to him you look stupid when you do that you look foolish so now I want to move on to I know I'm going through this fast but I need to so being straight up this is a concept that people just have a hard time with today because everybody disguises what they say and they don't want to be honest with people but being straight up that term but who's heard the term straight up straight up man just straight up right it was a big it was a big thing in the 90s okay maybe it still is now but being straight up me is it means being truthful honest and trustworthy when you're communicating with somebody being straight up when you talk to people you know sometimes people give you an opinion and then instead of just saying what you think about that you know sometimes it's good to not say what you think about something but don't let them just tell you an opinion that you don't agree with and not come back and say something you can still have grace in your heart when you do that you don't have to be rude but you say well you know what I don't agree with you about that that's being straight up so turn to Matthew chapter 5 verse 36 Matthew chapter 5 verse 36 Matthew 5 36 says neither shalt thou swear by thy head because thou canst not make one hair white or black he's talking about when people swear in their communications but it says let you but let your communication be yea yea nay nay for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil you know what's straight up is to just say yes or no yes or no you know sometimes people don't want to give a straight answer they don't want to be straight up they just want to I don't know but when you communicate with people it should just be straightforward and sometimes people take that as rude sometimes people can cut you with their mouths because they're so straightforward that you can't handle it because you're a snowflake it's true sometimes people like if you someone asks you for an opinion you give it to them you're like they melt but it's like don't ask if you don't want to know don't ask me for my opinion if you don't want me to tell it to you and you know sometimes people do give their opinion when they shouldn't obviously but I'm talking about when people give you a straight-up answer or they come to you in a straightforward manner my wife is just one of those people that just can wreck people and and she doesn't do it to be mean she just is straight up with her with her responses with people and sometimes people take that the wrong way it's not that she's doing something wrong when I was younger and weaker I used to get upset when she would go to battle with people the customer service people sometimes and I just feel like hey honey you know maybe you should just chill out but like what she was saying was right you know people just can't handle and obviously I couldn't handle it you know her truth sometimes but she her truth is good I like the way that she can now I was just like I wish you would just like rip people up a little more often you know now I've gotten older and meaner too so I'm just kidding she's not mean but sometimes people when they come to her she's gonna give them her honest opinion sound advice and people cannot handle that they can't handle it and it's because we just don't know how to communicate correctly just take it internalize it does it make sense you know you need to just quit being weak and and and listen to what she's saying I'm not saying that she's you know the old wise miss Sherry but she didn't even know I was gonna say this so she's probably back there she knows she knows she's a she she can cut people to shreds and not even say anything rude like people just cannot handle truth people cannot handle them themselves being reproved or rebuked in any way shape or form and that's just sad numbers chapter 12 verse 8 says it's talking about Moses it says and with him I will speak mouth to mouth even apparently and not in dark speeches and the similitude of the Lord shall he behold before then were you not afraid to speak against my servant Moses it says even apparently apparently means seemingly so based in the appearance of things it's a way of saying it seems that something in is the case or is true apparently is an adverb form of the adjective apparent which can mean readily seen clear obvious or according to appearances when we communicate it should be clear and not some sort of seed planting game all right so if if I give you a truth or maybe you know maybe my opinion or my truth isn't you can't accept that that's fine you don't have to agree with me but don't be mad if I say something straight up to you and you know don't don't melt you know just learn maybe we you need to be a better communicator maybe you shouldn't wear your feelings on your sleeve maybe you should before you ask my wife something you better make sure you have your ducks in a row because she's just gonna tell you the cold hard truth sometimes and sometimes people cannot handle that but we should be able to handle it great peace of they that love thy law and nothing shall offend them we should not be you know if she's not saying something that's offensive to you then why would you be mad about it why would you why would you be mad about something I say when it's something from the Bible or advice from the Bible when you just can't handle it you don't want to hear the truth sometimes people are just opinion shopping well what do you think about this it's like well do you really want to know there you better be sure you want to know before you come talk to me about something I'm not saying don't come talk to me but just don't be offended you know just take it in says is it right is it the right kind of advice then then listen but I'm just talking about even in general like if someone's kids beating up your kid let's just take that for instance you should have your husband go to that other husband and work that out okay don't be offended you but you shouldn't go up and intentionally try to offend somebody you know hey yeah you get emotional when your kid your baby girl your baby your baby boy is getting what you would think would be abused they're just instead of getting mad about it just go up and just have their husband say something to that person you know people get offended all the time about things like that and just certain church situations and you feel like it's your job to go up and tell that person whether they're right or wrong and it's just not your job so it's not your job to parent their kids it's not your job to do those things so you need to handle this straight up ness in the right way also so apparently when God says that he spoke to mouth to mouth to Moses apparently it was not in dark speeches it was not in parables it was just straightforward talk and a lot but why did Jesus talk to people in parables yeah so why be straight straightforward with them they you know it was for the same people to be able to understand even the same people didn't understand it sometimes I was just using that example though as an example is that we that when we have conversations with each other we shouldn't be trying to use dark speeches on people and and try to sway people's mind with seed planting and and undermining authority at the church and things like that people do that people like have you heard what pastor Thompson did last week you know I still love him but you would think he's wrong about this that's that's undermining that's seed planting that's that's not right you know so usually what you should say is come on let's go talk to Pastor Thompson about it yeah because you know I preach about this a lot I preach about people doing these kinds of things but then it never it never fails that when something happens that they don't come to me this is like how many times have I said that like you know if somebody came to me about you then I'm gonna address the issue with you so and we shouldn't be throwing shade or Pope which means publicly criticize or express contempt for someone we shouldn't be throwing shade on each other to each other you want to get into this little click of the church first of all we shouldn't be having clicks I understand it happens but we shouldn't be we should try to include everybody if we can but you know obviously there's people that are annoying and I get that but you should still love them and you know people this this word this word always comes to my mind about what Pastor Menes says he's like you know some people don't come in normal but it's our job to make them normal so can you help me make people normal I mean you can help can't you you don't have to just cast them aside because you think they're a little weird about some things you know we should love each other and try to bring them up and get them up to speed because not everybody walked into this building normal including myself no I'm just saying you know we need to if you want people to be normal then include them and help them be normal right so Zechariah chapter 8 verse 16 says these are the things that you shall do speak ye every man the truth to his neighbor execute the judgment of truth and peace in your gates and there's gonna be a time when that actually is that is is the case the people are gonna speak truth to their neighbor and they are gonna execute judgment of truth and peace in their gates but you know what we don't live in that time right now we live in a time where everybody's communication is some kind of weird game or they're trying to accomplish some you know and I'm not saying Christians I'm just saying in general there's a lot of weird communication that's going on out there and we need to be above that we need to understand that we need to be straightforward with people and eggs and and every man should speak the truth to his neighbor you know we should speak the truth to each other and sometimes that means telling someone a harsh truth and if you don't want people's opinions don't ask for them okay here's here's another key sometimes it's best to be quiet sometimes it's best to be quiet turn to Proverbs chapter 10 verse 19 Proverbs chapter 10 verse 19 Proverbs chapter 10 verse 19 says in the multitude of words there wanteth not sin but he that refraineth his lips is wise what did Jesus do when he was accused before all the people he shut his mouth he didn't talk back he didn't say anything he just let them rail and lie and say all this manner of evil against him and you know because the Proverbs Bible says in Proverbs but he that refraineth his lips is wise in the multitude of words there wanteth not sin people that have a lot of words something bad is gonna come out of your mouth if you just are a big blabbermouth all the time but when you refrain your lips you're wise turn to Proverbs chapter 17 verse 28 Proverbs chapter 17 verse 28 even a fool was a fool it's a stupid person even a fool when he holdeth his peace is counted wise so if you're a fool you just don't know what you're talking about when you're whole when you shut your lips people are gonna be like that's a wise person he's not commenting on things that he doesn't know what he's talking about and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding you know you can be a dummy and still just shut your mouth and people will say that guy's a wise person isn't that interesting you know that's kind of an interesting way of looking at it but that's what the way God looks at it hey if you don't know what you're talking about stop blathering on about stuff you don't know about and Jesus knew when to be quiet we should know when to be quiet confrontational communication confrontational communication let's talk about that for a minute turn to Galatians chapter 2 verse 11 Galatians 2 verse 11 Galatians chapter 2 verse number 11 so this is when we get into confrontations and sometimes we're gonna get in confrontations with fellow believers but we're also gonna get in confrontations with people out in the world it's just gonna happen you know but how do we handle it well the Apostle Paul handled it with Peter and it was an important thing we don't we shouldn't always be in the mode of trying to confront someone in front of a bunch of people that's not the way it should generally be but there's some times when it is necessary and Paul the Apostle communicates that to us and it's in Scripture that him and Peter had a face-to-face and guess who who won guess who was right Paul was and you know the first Pope got you know destroyed but no Paul but Peter probably appreciated the fact that he did that after like thinking about what was going on and what was being done I'm sure he felt stupid for that look what it says in verse 11 but when Peter was come to Antioch I was stood him to the face because he was to be blamed sometimes we got to get face-to-face with someone and say you're wrong there's nothing wrong with that as long as you have you know you're not trying to do it for this big show I don't think Paul was trying to do it for a show but he did have to do it publicly he had to do it in front of other believers because it was an important thing that he was blaming him about says for before that certain came from James he did eat with the with the Gentiles but when they but when they were come he withdrew and separated himself fearing them that were of the circumcision and the other Jews disassembled likewise with him and so much that Barnabas was all also excuse me was carried away with their dissimulation so there's the division happening there was the clicks happening the Jews and the Gentiles but they're all supposed to be one in Christ Jesus right and the gospel you know they weren't saved a different way so this is like a perfect example of an early church issue where you know you had the Jews who said that the sinners were Gentile you know the Gentiles shouldn't be eating with them because they're uncircumcised or whatever their their food custom was and Paul's like hey you know I had to get I had to get in Peter's face and tell me was wrong look at verse 14 says but when I saw that they walk not uprightly according to the truth of the gospel the gospel is what the truth is and they were going away from the truth of the gospel that's why you had to do it in front of everybody I said unto Peter before them all if thou being a Jew liveth after the manner of Gentiles and not as do the Jews why compel us now the Gentiles to live as do the Jews why are you trying to tell these Gentiles to be a Jew to hold to these old things that are not important anymore and it says and who are Jews by nature and not sinners of the Gent we who are Jews by nature and not sinners of the Gentiles knowing that a man so he's he's going on about this and what why is it so important well look at verse 16 it says knowing that a man is not justified by the works of the law but by the faith of Jesus Christ even we have believed in Jesus Christ that we might be justified by the faith of Christ and not of the works of the law for by the works of the law shall no flesh be justified what were they doing they were saying hey you guys need to be like these guys and follow these laws to the team be circumcised and all this other stuff and Paul said no we're all saved by faith we're all saved by Jesus and there's no works that need to be added to your salvation so it was a big deal and he had to confront him about it look at Matthew chapter 18 not all things have to be public in a public setting like this look what it says in Matthew 18 moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone it doesn't say go and and and and have a bunch of people get on your side before you go and confront and not confront them because usually people do that they get on a you know get everybody on their side and then not confront somebody but that's what we're supposed to do if you have a problem with someone in the church this you know that doesn't mean if you have a problem with Pastor Jimenez that you you know our church brings them up in some trial this is our church I'm talking about your local church I can't go on and I have no authority to go to Pastor Mendez's church and try to have some fault disputed between them that's should be brother with brother if he shall hear thee thou has gained thy brother but if he will not hear thee then take with thee one or two more than in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established and if he shall neglect to hear them tell it under the church but if you neglect to hear the church let him be into thee as a heathen man and a publican so what are you supposed to do first if you have a problem with someone and you're offended then go and tell between thee and him alone and that's the way the Bible says to do it doesn't say to go tell ever everybody else and then not talk to them about it says go to them and try to gain your brother if they will not hear thee then take two or three witnesses and I don't even think every situation is a Matthew 18 situation but people just have a problem interpreting this passage and I think that Matthew 18 is just for every situation and that we can use it on people and other churches it's not like that it's your church so and if they neglect to hear them tell it to the church so there's three steps here first you go to them alone then you take witnesses then you tell it to the church and then the church basically kicks that person out if they won't hear it you know not every Matthew 18 situation the person that's using it is even right most of the time when people when the Matthew 18 situations come up in our church we've never had to bring something before the whole church like that except for to kick somebody out but we don't vote here either so just voting is like not a biblical concept you know the person who run it who's the pastor of the church should be the one that just says get out so and then I'll bring it to you and just say this is why we kicked them out I've done it before I'll do it again I don't have any issue doing that but I'm not on a hair trigger to kick people out either so but Proverbs chapter 12 verse 18 says there is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword but the tongue of the wise is health I've already shared that with you but the way we deal with confrontational situations doesn't always have to be like you freaking out on them and you know it could be confrontational without you having to freak out so James chapter 3 verse 5 says even so the tongue is a little member and boasts with great things behold how great a manner a little fire kindleth so the it would be weird to talk about communication without talking about our tongues and our tongues you know are really uncontrollable at times and so it's something that we do have to work at our communication is something we do have to work at says in the tongue is a fire a world of iniquity so is the tongue among our members that it defileth the whole body and seteth on fire the course of nature and it is set on fire of hell that's how wicked the tongue can be you know it's just this little member the the little red devil behind the pearly white gates right so but that that member can can be devilish it can set things on fire of hell you know it can it can be used to help people in the best way possible and it can also be used to harm people in the worst way possible for every kind of beast and of birds and of serpents and of things and that sea is tamed and hath been tamed of mankind but the tongue can no man tame it is an unruly evil full of deadly poison that's how wicked our tongue can be and the fact that actually the Bible says that we can no man can fully tame that tongue we can tame animals we can tame all kinds of different things we can we can do all these things but we can't tame the tongue it's a it's it's full of unruly evil and deadly poison that's pretty harsh that's pretty harsh language but that's the way it is being positive in our communication Proverbs chapter 25 verse 11 says a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold and pictures of silver positive things that you don't always have to be negative and everything that you bring forth you don't always have to cast a negative light in everything that you say when someone's asked what do you think about this and your first answer is always something negative and I know I've had problems with that in the past but I've repented of that but you know you can't you can get that way and I like with my kids especially like my answer was always to say no about everything and then you know they go to their mom and whine about it and I just I have a tendency to say no first so I can think about like how I really want to handle the situation but like we shouldn't be negative and casting everything in a negative light all the time we should be positive the people of God should be positive but you know here's some other tips listen for subtlety listen when someone's trying to speak to you that's why you need to hear first and speak second and listen to what people say and not just be ready to jump into the conversation you know you're just waiting for your time you know you got the timer on as soon as they're done now I'm gonna now I'm gonna give you my opinion it's like you lie who let me give my opinion it's like you don't have to be you know if you're actually listening you can hear people can hear and they can listen you're hearing what they're saying but you're not really listening so when you when people are talking you should listen to what they're saying and then you can have a proper reply but also it can help you against the person that's subtle and a person that's trying to flatter you Psalms chapter 5 verse 9 says for there is no faithfulness in their mouth their inward part is very wickedness their throat is an open sepulcher they flatter with the tongue so these are the types of people that flatter with the tongue they are wicked people in most verses in the Bible so flattery is like a big thing we need to guard against Daniel 11 32 says and such as do wickedly against the Covenant shall he corrupt by flattery is talking about the Antichrist how does he corrupt people flattery you're so good you should be on my team you should be my general you know I'll give you a crown you're so great I think you could leave this country really good you know it's the Antichrist you're so great that's how he's gonna he's gonna corrupt people by flatter ease says but the people that do know their God shall be strong and do exploits so we don't want to be corrupted by flatter ease and look who's who's the biggest flatter there is the devil and his man the Antichrist is going to be corrupting people so if the devil can corrupt some people by flatter or the Antichrist is corrupting people by flatter ease don't you think you could be corrupted by flatter ease also you can be if you're susceptible to that you just like to be lauded with glory from other people but just know that sometimes people have something wicked in their heart and the reason why they're trying to corrupt you like that and flatter use because they want to either turn you aside or they want to do they want to you know just destroy your faith they want to get you on their team so discretion in conversation here's this is an important thing and I know I'm over my time here but discretion is an important thing I'm just going to read this last verse to you discretion Proverbs 5 verse 1 Proverbs 5 verse 1 says my eldest are excuse me my son attend unto my wisdom and bow thine ear to mine understanding that thou mayest regard discretion and that thy lips may keep knowledge regard discretion and conversation is something important you don't have to tell everything that you know about every single situation and that's being discreet you know like if it's something that's probably what is discretion the quality of behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offense so sometimes you don't have to be blunt exactly blunt on everything you say that you know you're gonna offend that person with like just giving them the cold hard truth you know I think we should be truthful in our communications I don't want to contradict what I was saying earlier but there's some situations where you know what you're gonna say you know like say somebody's child has autism or some sort of type of autism and you're like well maybe if you never you know gave them vaccinations then their kid wouldn't be autistic isn't that isn't that something you don't really need to communicate like you think that they don't know that and that's something that we should avoid doing that's being discreet so you don't have to be offensive you don't have to be truthful offensive just for the sake of saying something I think that that's a cruel thing to say to somebody but so also it's avoiding revealing private information so if someone asked me a question about one of our church members I'm not going to tell them things that are their own private information so I should be discreet you should be discreet you don't have to tell somebody well I heard that they did this because blah blah blah blah blah you don't have to do that you shouldn't do that if so if something's private to someone then you shouldn't you know sometimes when I'm doing prayer requests I don't like to tell every detail of what's in the prayer request because I don't want the whole internet to know that so-and-so has a drinking problem or something you know what I'm saying like I don't that's never been in the first but I'm just saying you know people don't have to know all the information that you know that's called discretion and we need to be discreet in our conversations and not allow ourselves you got to have a guard on your mouth you know if you can't talk to people without trying to reveal someone's private information or you just can't help but offending someone by saying the truth that they already probably know then you need to avoid that so I was going to go over the top eight communication ways the communications to avoid but if you want to look at it you can but there's it's pretty good stuff if you want to look at it after church but I got to be done so anyway that's communication and hopefully I communicated that correctly but anyway let's pray Heavenly Father we thank you Lord so much for your word and Lord I pray that you'd help us as a people to be better at communicating pray as a pastor I'd be better at communicating and just work on getting better about everything I do when it comes to communication our Lord our people I hope that some lessons were learned and some knowledge was was gained in this sermon when it comes to the topic of communication pray Lord you'd help us to communicate the gospel as we go out this afternoon and that people will be saved as a result of that in Jesus name we pray amen