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Amen. Alright so 1 Peter chapter 3 and we're going to look just for a second at 1 Peter 3 and verse 8 which is also on the front of your bulletins which reads finally be ye all of one mind having compassion one of another love as brethren be pitiful be courteous and the title of my sermon today is the courteous Christian the courteous Christian let's go to the Lord in the word of prayer before we continue so father I thank you for your word I thank you for this great chapter thank you for the great lessons we can get out of this chapter please help me to just preach those accurately now help me to just preach boldly and clearly and help people to to just just be able to pay attention and to not be distracted and just just help me to preach a word with with the Holy Spirit inside me Lord and in Jesus name pray all of this amen. Okay so what does it mean to be courteous well Webb says 1828 dictionary it says of courteous number one definition is polite well-bred being of elegant manners civil obliging condescending applied to persons and number two is polite civil graceful elegant complacent applied to manners etc dictionary.com says having or showing good manners polite what are some antonyms so the opposites impolite rude disrespectful inconsiderate so basically to be courteous is a politeness that comes with familiar respect and consideration of others so it's not well you know I dot the I's and cross the T's when I talk there's also respect and consideration of others when you do it in 1st Peter 3a it goes along with compassion love and pity be all of one mind having compassion one or another love as brethren be pitiful be courteous and before I continue I just want to make it clear that this isn't a sermon about pastors in other churches deciding whether or not words they consider to be rude or not so in case anyone tunes into this or is wondering is this some attack no I'm not interested in what goes on there and and you know they can have their own views on that and I'm you know for us it doesn't affect us one little bit at all that and that's not what this sermons about this sermon is a basically a practical sermon to help everyone here think about how we talk how we act towards each other ultimately but to others as well okay so why because God said through Peter to be courteous okay he said to be courteous he didn't say be courteous if it's not too awkward for you did he he didn't say be courteous if you like the person enough he didn't say be courteous if you were raised that way did he he just said be courteous because it's not just something for posh people okay being courteous isn't just something for those you know raised with a silver spoon in their mouth well in fact Proverbs 18 23 you don't have to turn there says the poor useth in treaties but the rich answerth roughly and any of you that have gone door knocking and on in richer areas will probably have noticed that a lot of the time the rich answer pretty roughly don't know okay so this isn't about a wealth thing this isn't about a class thing this is about being a courteous Christian okay just to get that straight from the beginning he just said be courteous and specifically here he's talking about how believers behave towards other believers that's a context of of the chapter here but it also applies how we behave to the unbelievers too and we're going to see that in a minute as well and without trying to sound like a broken record because I often start sermons talking about how different things are in the world today and since I was young and everything else and I'm not really that old but you know sometimes I feel like I am with how much has changed but this is again one of the many qualities that I've seen change a lot over the last you know couple of decades few decades so I didn't and and just manners in general being courteous to people I've noticed a big change of that I don't know if anyone else here has noticed much of a change of that as they've grown up yeah we've got quite a few I mean I remember when I was young pleasing thank yous were massive okay that was a big deal you would you would be likely to get at least a real talking to if not a thrashing for not saying you please and thank yous when I grew up and look you might think well they're just words because you know does the Bible say you got to say please and thank you well no it does say to be courteous and in our culture our polite form of English involves please and thank yous isn't it in English culture with this is a church in England we like please and thank yous here okay that's how things go in this culture and in other countries there's other polite forms of how you speak it might not be a direct translation of please and thank yous but there are ways that you speak which are to show manners and politeness because really it's a respect it's it's it's caring how that that person feels that you're treating them right okay and when you when you use good manners like pleases thank yous excuse me's etc you're showing it you care about how you come across that person you care about the response you're getting from them the reaction you're getting so that's one thing but it's not just about words is it and we've seen it you know it's it's such a big difference what I see now the differences people opening doors does that even happen anymore the service industry how bad is the service industry now I mean that used to be you know you you're at least gonna get some manners when you went into a restaurant you're at least gonna get some manners when you went just into a shop into a store when someone was trying to sell you or do a service for money and now it seems that that doesn't even matter anymore because we've got so many big companies and big firms are really people just going where the money where things are cheaper and you could go in a store you can go into a I don't know a big B&Q get get talked to like you're some sort of bit of filth on the bottom so much well it's over there somewhere but you'll still go back there next week won't you because it's cheaper because it's brand recognition because you know it and things have changed so much with that haven't they because before that would be no way you'd be ringing up you'd be complaining you'd be saying I'm not coming back to this store and they would actually care but they don't care anymore do they and things have changed a lot things have changed a lot in the world but it's not just service industry disrespect for elders how about for help that used to be a big thing didn't it in this country respect for your elders and nowadays elders are packed up into a care home before they even know what's going on before they're even elderly but but before that people used to have a respect for elders didn't they and people used to actually stand up with an elder when an elder came into a room I remember being taught that at school when a teacher came into the room you stood up on your feet and you stood basically to attention I doubt you get that in schools much anymore I don't know if they still do that but you don't see that you don't see that much out in society do you respect for elders kids to adults respect for children to adults and again do you see that much I don't see that much anymore and I'm not I'm not picking on people at the church here just in general in life or I see that people actually trying to just be polite for the fact that someone's an adult that they're older that they're wiser that they've been here longer and look there's an important thing about that we're gonna see that in the Word of God as well disrespect for authority we see that a lot don't we yeah disrespect for authority everywhere look I can understand it could be frustrating sometimes being under some of the authorities we have in this nation in this country but we are taught to respect authorities where we're taught to obey principalities and powers we're told to obey those things aren't we yeah we're told to obey magistrates in this country we're told in in Romans 13 clearly to do that but nowadays it's not even just a bit the obeying of the full-on disrespect for anyone in authority people just seem to be so unable to just deal with the fact there's authority in their life in the many areas towards women the disrespect towards women now yeah again before that was a big deal I remember once hearing someone being somewhere late at night many years ago and someone someone I knew was was swearing in front of a lady and the guy started you know it got into an argument don't you talk like that in front of this does anyone even care anymore about that I don't think really many people would say that anymore don't you sway in front of this lady that was a part of our society nowadays the ladies are more likely to probably be swearing and using filthy language and and how bad has it got and again look it's easy to do this isn't it it's easy to standing and go look at the state of the world but this is something I have noticed a lot I have noticed a big difference also towards men as well we talked about this when we talk about putting dads on their pedestals how much has that changed before a man used to be a figure of respect you'd knock on someone's door and the man open door excuse me sir there'd be there'd be a sign of respect nowadays they're like the butt of all jokes aren't they and and again that goes along with what is a wicked feminist agenda in this nation around the world but look God said be courteous and we're going to look at three main areas of life to be courteous in to be what we want to be which is a courteous Christian because God said to be courteous and number one on that is to be courteous in your family life be courteous in your family life look down at 1st Peter 3 we're gonna look from the beginning there where he starts by addressing husbands and wives at home in this chapter he says likewise ye wives be in subjection to your own husbands if any obey not the word they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear now likewise is referring to the previous chapter he said in 1st Peter chapter 2 and verse 18 servants be subject to your masters with all fear not only to the good and gentle but also to the forward he's talked about being a good employee being in subjection to your boss in 1st Peter 3 he says likewise and it's rather ironic isn't it that the fact that he's actually linking that to the previous comment about being in subjection to a boss because how many women in this world are absolutely happy to be in subjection to a boss at work no problem with being subject to a boss whether he be forward or not being whether he be a bad boss or you know basically you know an unlikable boss oh does it matter whether it's a he or she whether it's a married man whether it's whatever it oh no problem with that but being in subjects being in subjection to their husbands even though the Word of God says it time and time and time again that apparently seems to be a problem for many many women in this world which is ironic considering he's saying likewise ye wives be in subjection to your own husbands own husbands notice that as well not other people's husbands okay your you know people's wives aren't aren't there to be in subjection to yourselves okay but they should be in subjection to their own husbands that's what the Word of God says this is even those to the husbands that haven't obeyed the gospel he said that if any obey not the word they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives and that that's the the behavior of the wives because you look your behavior can change that we talked about being a shining light didn't we yeah you're married to someone that's unsaved your behavior look none one of the big things you need to be doing is living right living holy living chase whether you're a lady or a man and and look they might look at that and see that difference and see the change in you see that difference in you and take notice watching your holy behavior along with a fear of the Lord that could be your fear or their fear I suppose it doesn't really matter does it coupled with fear and that's not coupled with fear of of your wife that shouldn't be coupled with fear of your wife yeah and unfortunately it seems that you see that more nowadays don't you menu it's scared of their wives men who are hiding behind their wives skirts scared of whatever they say to him scared it that's not what the Bible says it should be like should it yeah they should be in subjection to their own husbands okay who's adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair and of wearing of gold or of putting on of apparel but let it be the hidden man of the heart in that which is not corruptible even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit which is in the sight of God of great price it does it does matter what's in the sight of God doesn't it yeah we should care how God looks at us shouldn't we we should care how we appear in the sight of God but not in the sight of our you know for the ladies here your feminist friends down at the gym in their activewear not how you appear with your feminist work friends who are saying you don't have to listen to that man girl you know and all this sort of stuff yeah that shouldn't really matter should it because what does God say God says a meek and quiet spirit is of great price and if you don't have that you should be working on that because we care about what God says don't we and if only women spent more time on their heart on their meek and quiet spirit than their hair jewelry and clothing because a lot of women spend a lot of time on their hair jewelry and clothing and well you know I don't have to be like well I you know he doesn't he doesn't tick the boxes it how he should he doesn't do his side of it well the Bible says clearly that that who's adorning let it not be that outward adorning a plaque the hair in a way and a golden and putting on of apparel and by the way like I said before that's not saying women can't have plaits in their hair I've heard this nonsense before women can't wear any jewelry no it's saying that shouldn't be what they're known as that shouldn't be what's beautifying them adorning them okay the adorning the mat the thing that they should be known by is their meek and quiet spirit okay because that's a which is in the sight of God of great price and who cares what this wicked world says because the since where did the world get things right I mean how's that going for them how's as a feminist movement going in the world right now that going well is it I see me I see in this country over 200,000 babies murdered in the womb last year oh that's going well isn't it I see record divorce rates I see just pure wickedness ever I see kids being raised from from long before school to long after school by the government basically by some form of government you know whether it's childcare Ofsted regulated Ofsted regulated schools you name it and I see just wickedness everywhere I turn so for me it's not really going too well I say well you know if maybe if only this nation did what God said maybe things would be better in fact we know things would be get up better now he said for after this moment in the old time the holy women also trusted in God adorn themselves being in subjection unto their own husbands is he talking about just random old-fashioned women here you know those stupid old-fashioned kids they were so stupid weren't they back in the past oh yeah they didn't have the intelligence we have now do they yeah the intelligence to think that we all came from apes the intelligence to think that everything came out of some explosion and for the first time ever there was order at a curse no that's not what he's talking about here he's talking about holy women holy women of all time who trusted in God these sound like sort of women that you want to be looking after right okay that you want to be following after for after this manner in the old time the holy women also trusting God adorn themselves being in subjection unto their own husbands even as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord whose daughters you are as long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord can you believe that called him Lord I want a show of hands here for how many women are bristling at the thought of calling their husbands Lord don't you don't have to raise your hands because I know you all are every single one of you but but she called him Lord and you know what she didn't actually in the Bible call him Lord with her mouth he must have just been making it up maybe got it wrong no she said it in her heart in the Bible go back to Genesis chapter 18 the one place we see an example of this in the Bible Genesis chapter 18 and from verse 10 the Lord is speaking to an elderly Abraham here who also has an elderly wife Sarah and he said Genesis 18 and verse 10 Genesis 18 10 and he said I will certainly return unto thee according to the time of life and lo Sarah thy wife shall have a son and Sarah heard it in the tent door which was behind him now Abraham and Sarah were old and well stricken in age and it ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women therefore Sarah laughed within herself saying after I am waxed old shall I have pleasure my Lord being old also Sarah is saying this within herself hence her then denying it afterwards and the Lord said unto Abraham wherefore did Sarah laugh saying shall I have a surety pair of child which I'm old is anything too hard for the Lord but the time appointed I will return unto thee according to the time of life and Sarah shall have a son then Sarah denied saying I laugh not for she was afraid and he said nay but thou didst laugh okay the point here is not that Sarah is trying to get out of it now the point is that she she called him Lord in her heart and I'm sure she was verbally calling him Lord as well oh what sort of a walk what sort of a pushover was she what sort of a doormat was Sarah and by the way if you're going oh maybe you're sitting there going yeah but Abraham was a very holy man Abraham this is Abraham who was pretending to people that she was his sister just in case he got a bit of grief from he'd have to fight for his wife yeah this is Abraham that was lying about her being his sister and letting her basically go off you know and having the men of whatever town land it was trying to fight over her to save his own skin okay but she still called him Lord because that's what the Word of God teaches go back to 1st Peter chapter 3 and verse 6 but here's the point mums you want your kids to show you and your husband and respect aren't you yeah I'm sure you mums want to be shown respect by your kids how do you talk about your husband how do you treat your husband whether it's in front of your kids or not because a lot of the time you think it's not in front of your kids your kids it's always happened to be there yeah your kids come out of it they come out of every nook and cranny in the house sometimes yeah yeah well I don't think they come from yeah in fact we're talking about Grace's birthday presents yesterday suddenly grace our Grace's happen to be run right on the other side of the door but anyway point big kids just kind of they just turn up don't they they turn up so because it's not really about how you appear that's shouldn't be on your heart what it should be is following the Word of God following the Word of God and giving respect unto your husband's you give respect unto your husband's and your kids are gonna learn to respect you and your husband and that's what you want don't you because look you show me a you show me kids that have no respect for their dads and I'll show you kids they're gonna go wayward yeah they're gonna go off the rails they're gonna have all sorts of problems you want kids to obey the rules how about you obey the rules yeah yeah how about that how about you obey the clear rules the Word of God because I tell you what if your kids are coming here and listening to the preaching and if your kids are reading the Bible then they know what the Word of God says and they know if mum isn't obeying the rules and then you're going and you obey the rules well you're not obeying the rules yeah because these are the rules aren't they yeah so it's the rules of God and they're the most important rules so we want to obey the rules the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit is of great price but it's not just about the mums at home is it look at verse 7 likewise ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge giving honor unto the wife is unto the weaker vessel and is being heirs together the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered honor is esteem high estimation dignity respect husbands get to know what you what makes your wife tick yeah and give her honor okay dwell with them according to knowledge okay and you can avoid some of those very disrespectful moments that come from both sides if you learn to dwell with your wives according to knowledge yeah if you learn when what's going to make her likely lose a rag a bit and end up you know kind of maybe maybe not respect to you so much and and vice versa if you know those sorts of things which are then going to get her to say something that's going to make you stop giving her honor then you need to dwell with them according to that knowledge and avoid those things don't you you need to give honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel and it's being airs together the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered it says here purity yeah you're a team aren't you you want the grace of life you want the grace of life together you want your prayers to be effective you need to get the best out of your wife don't you need to get the best out your wife dwell with them according to knowledge not talk down to her because you're the boss because that's not what the Bible says does it oh well you know she should submit so I'm gonna talk to her like dirt and and prove that she won't submit or prove that she does submit to other people but that's not what the Bible says to do so you're well out of God's will straight away there because the way it all works great is when everyone does their side of the bargain that's the way it all works great you you husbands love your wives yeah the Bible says time time again does it husbands love your wife wives be subjected to your own husbands yeah submit unto your own husband yeah if both sides did those bits and obviously all the rest that goes with it wife should love their husbands husbands should give honor and respect their wife when it all goes together you can have a great marriage and that will be any worldly marriage you'll ever see out there any worldly marriage where the man is kind of hiding behind the wife you know scared to say anything and you know she's telling him off be quiet you know this you see this everywhere don't you see that with us or that with a family member the other day and these are young people no guys just getting told off just getting told what's this it's absolutely terrible isn't it and it's it's embarrassing to see that and men yeah men need to man up though don't they because you want your wives to submit to you you need to make sure that you're you you can actually command some respect you to make sure that you're behaving as you should do and make sure that then your wives will submit but here's the point about all of this I'm not just getting on the the men and the women here we're talking about being courteous yeah polite with respect to consideration how do our kids learn how do our kids learn most okay here's a question your children yeah your children did you teach every single part of their vocabulary did you did you teach your kids every single word they know no how do they learn every single word that they know by watching and listening to you yeah the majority of what we learn is by watching and listening to what's being said to us what we see about us and ultimately it's from their parents isn't it that's why your kids say things usually a lot of the time the same way you say things that's why your kids have the same sort of a lot of the time they'll act they'll walk the same sort of way they'll talk the same sort of way they'll make similar sorts of jokes sometimes they don't get them quiet it's good they've still got work on the timing of it sometimes they're doing much better but you know what kids learn from what they watch they learn from what they're around don't they and that's how they're going to learn you could tell them all day long be courteous be respectful be polite but if you're disrespecting your wife dads then how do you expect your kids to get that right wives if you're disrespecting your husband's how do you expect your kids to get that right yeah because that's how they learn and that's where the training ground is isn't it at home yeah that's where the training ground is are you considerate of your wife you want your kids to be considerate of others are you considerate of your wife yeah do you actually care about what she does day to day do you care about if she's happy if she's content or is she just you know she's just a helpmeet she's just you know well you know she can she better just shut up and put up yeah because how do we expect our kids to be considerate if that's how we are yeah and saying the other way around so look we can tell our kids what to do all day long can't we but they're going to learn from what we do that's what they're going to learn most from now turn to Proverbs 22 we still definitely need to be teaching our kids to be courteous okay and that's a parent's job it's not the school's job if you send your kids to school it's not it's not the the martial arts instructors job it's not the sports guy's job it's not whoever it is you're sending him to oh well I want him to look look it's your job you're the parent yeah it's you you're entrusted with that child Proverbs 22 verse 6 famous verse says train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it you want them to be courteous adults don't you then teach them from young you have to teach them from young to be courteous and there are many ways you can do that the rod of correction is quite a good one but there's many other ways as well and you need to keep reminding your kids you to keep training them you need to keep getting it right and some kids might might take longer with that than other kids some kids might it might be there might be a bit more stubborn with seeing things maybe some kids will be a bit more forgetful that but tell you what how you how you get get it right is you make sure you're courteous at home courteous to each other ultimately is the main thing and courteous just in general if you're out and you're being courteous your kids are gonna learn to be courteous okay and if you come in and you you've got all the please and thank yous and your kids have none of that at all for me that says something else is going on when you're outside of church yeah okay courteous the title is the courteous Christian number one be courteous in your family life number two be courteous in your church life be courteous in your church life he said in verse 8 finally be ye all of one mind having compassion one of another love as brethren be pitiful be courteous not rendering evil for evil or railing for ailing but contrary wise blessing knowing that you are there unto called that you should inherit a blessing so we are back in 1st Peter 3 there okay polite with respect and consideration towards each other a church a church should be of one mind shouldn't it okay as you said be ye of one mind that's the same goal the same mindset being behind the church behind the leadership yeah we should be of one mind in this church but it's also about not elevating the rich above others as well okay we see that term used as well you have to turn in Romans 12 16 it says be of the same mind one toward another mine not hide things but condescend to men of low estate be not wise in your own conceit so there's any unity if you're not uplifting other people above others you know for ever reason a lot of time for wealth and things like that then you get this unity that should then result in a compassion one of another a brotherly love it says here a pity and courteousness now how does that look like in a church like ours then how does that look in a church like ours okay and these are just some practical things so okay before I go on with this yeah if and you're gonna be I would say everyone in this church is going to fail on some things on this list okay if you do it's I don't hate you okay if you do I'm not standing here going I really need this person I hate the way they're not courteous in this way or other but but I want to help you okay because if you're doing it at church you likely be doing it in the rest of your life as well anyway and the Bible says be courteous these are things that I was thinking of which are just for me clear obvious ways of being courteous practical ways of things that some people might have to work on more than others okay some people for whatever reason they're gonna find some of this difficult okay number one one thing that I thought about was just greeting people when you come into the church okay but but the point is when you come into the church so if you come into church myself or other people shouldn't be having to go and find you when you're sitting and come and greet you that's a bit weird don't you think and that does happen and again it's not that like I said I don't hate you if this is you on this list yeah okay but think about this yeah because look and again I'm not saying it's the same but say I invited you over my house for a barbecue and say I spent hours marinating that meat yeah you probably get the analogy here yeah I spent hours preparing that meat preparing that food preparing that here spiritual food spiritual drink for you yeah would you just come into my house oh okay well I didn't have to answer the door because I said come round the back when you're there just walk in sit down eat some food get up and leave would you do that you wouldn't would you but do you know the amount of people that come into this church and I could if I didn't come up and speak to them they wouldn't even say a word to me and it's not just me that is something that what about brother John Cornell do you know the sister Vanessa do you know how long they spend preparing music for this do you know how long the ushers spend doing their job do you know how even the money counters are spent like it's weird yeah it's just really honored and it's just it's just uncurtious basically it's impolite that's weird yeah okay if you come into church you should be coming up and saying hello to especially the people that are putting all the yet but you should be doing it to everyone okay you should just be greeting look you don't have to spend and have a 15-minute conversation with someone okay but just just hi how are you is fine isn't it that's being courteous isn't it okay definitely we should be doing that and we should be teaching our kids to do that as well because if our kids don't see us do it they're not going to do it either they're going to grow up to be pretty impolite as well and to not be courteous so we should be teaching them and showing them and that could be uncomfortable for kids sometimes got it some kids are shy so it's something you have to work at some kids that I understand some are more shy than others some people just very outgoing you have a kid who just happily just walk in everyone brother this brother that night three years old you have another kid who's maybe like seven years old and they don't even want to look at anyone yeah but it's something that we need to train because it's a it's important in life isn't it it's important in a church it's important if you're going to fellowship and if you're not going to basically because I don't know you come into a church I don't know that maybe you're the shyest person in the world and for me I'm just thinking wow they've literally just come in not said a word and sometimes even left without saying a word as well okay that's weird okay and like I said same when you leave okay same when you leave like that again if you came around my house for a barbecue you came around whoever's house there's a few of us doing all this work and everything else my wife it's you know my one of my friends is there doing stuff for you guys as well you wouldn't seriously just at the end of it go yeah that's the time off straight out out the side gate not say a word that's weird isn't it yeah but people do that in churches don't they okay and look I've been to some bad churches I've been some bad with some bad preaching I mean a church is where I'm thinking is this person even saved and you know what I still did before I left is I still shook their hand and said thank you yeah thank you for the time and effort that you've put into this church service yeah and unless I knew 100% they're unsaved okay then they were getting it before I left all right okay so okay please and thank yous simple stuff and look because you know we have a people from different backgrounds nationalities etc here just just just a heads up in England that we like please and thank yous excuse me yeah excuse me is when you try and not pass people things like that kids you shouldn't just be shoving past running through doors you should be waiting for someone to go through the door you should be holding doors for people okay that's being courteous that's being respectful to each other okay that's stuff we should be doing shaking hands okay and again we want to teach our kids to do that as well we want to teach our kids to shake hands yeah not anything else not fist bumps okay the only time I fist bump someone is before I put on a pair of boxing gloves and then try and punch them in the face okay don't confuse people with that okay you might just get punched in the face okay not high fives okay shake hands or don't okay that's what we we do as men in a church especially and some women might not want to and I you kind of get the idea when they don't because their hands are behind here so well but that's cool some women do what some people want to be greeted and feel like well why are you shaking the husband's hand and completely you know not and just like hi you know so look you make it clear by that that's cool yeah I don't really have a hard and fast rule in my mind on that but I'll shake people's hands I want to shake people's hands okay when we shake people's hands though do you think it's polite if I shake someone's hand to maybe shake their hand like this some people do it again I'm not picking anyone here I don't think anyone does that but just the heads up kids as well that if someone says shake your hand you just like this yeah with a limp I don't you just hate the limp hand as well by this yeah all right I remember I had a friend whose dad used to and it was like he was giving you the hand almost like to kiss it he just got like this and he really he was very wealthy and thought he was really up there this guy yeah okay but we should be looking at someone's eye shaking hand but here's another thing we're not trying to be a bone crusher either because that's not very nice is it so when you shake someone's hand don't try and rip their hand off yeah it's a bit odd yeah cuz it said it's starting to become like fighting talk isn't it I was like this in your eye nice to meet you you know that's weird yeah okay we don't have to do that we should just that a firm normal handshake okay not not trying to show off for anything else that's a bit strange okay that's that's being polite that's being you know that's being courteous to someone okay being courteous isn't trying to break their fingers okay wash your hands I remember if you're walking around a church shaking hands yeah could you make sure that you have clean hands it's a bit weird when you shake someone's hands you can smell something other kids as well look we're teaching our kids to shake hands we want to make sure that our kids are washing their hands when they go to the toilet yeah and men and women we should all be washing their hands over go to the toilet if you're gonna walk around a church shaking hands okay make sure you wash it and sometimes a bit weird because then you're like you're in a rush you're like I'm gonna have a wet hand now and I know they're gonna wonder what that is but you can make it clear that it's water much better to have water than to wonder what's on that hand isn't it yeah okay so we should make sure that and and and look here's another one if your kids walking around like this you know like this so like this all the whole time like this yeah and then you're like oh hello little you know yeah look we want to be teaching there's something we have to teach our kids regularly on you know and we catch them out sometimes no nose-picking yeah okay and we want it we want to encourage that now we go to the toilet get a tissue because otherwise people don't want to don't want to shake your hands today okay how about responding to conversation as well okay something we have to teach kids but some adults have have a problem with that yeah so when someone talks to you you want to just not ignore them not just look the other way not just go and walk off or something else talk to them yeah it doesn't have to be a long conversation you don't have to tell them all the gory details of your week but just you know we're trying to train to just just for people not to feel completely just unliked and everything else yeah we want to just show show some some amount of consideration to each other kids need to be taught that as well don't need to respond you say hi to someone child hi how you doing they just walk straight past you like this yeah that's rude isn't it look young kids are going to do that it's something that we as parents we want to train them not to do don't we okay how about greed okay greed greed is is is not being polite is it okay so for example you have a church you have a church meal put on whether it's after soul-winning whether it's you know here and you get adults or kids literally just stand there eating absolutely everything standing by the biscuits just going like that is that consider it to the rest of the church it's not considered to the rest of the church should it be my job to tell your child off no should if you go for a meal and the churches put it on should you just be going right get this go on kids you order for yourself I'll get that I'll get that that's that's weird yeah okay look we should be considered I'm not saying you have to get the cheapest thing on the menu but look just just think about what your kids are able to have think about yourself as well what you know you don't want to be seeing like half a plate left over you know 25 pound meals yeah I'll go for the triple mix grill you know and half it's left kids you have one each as well yeah that's just weird okay so we want to we want to we want to be considerate to each other consider it when food comes if someone's just and they're literally stuffing their face yeah which you do see sometimes yeah it's like it's not enough food for everyone that's that's not that's not really very courteous is it that's not courteous to each other and and kids need to be trained with that don't they because kids seem to not have a stop button do they and I have a stop button so we need to watch for that okay another one leaving the places you found it how about that so you know you you'd be amazed like you know especially when we were downstairs you'd be clearing up afterwards and everyone would get up and go and it looks like a bomb sit here it's ripped up bulletins and things fault you know all sorts of stuff and food and stuff under feet everywhere again would you say that that that's courteous definitely not is it you wouldn't do that if I hope you wouldn't do that if you came around my house you wouldn't do that if you went around someone else's house so you know house of God yeah yeah we want to be courtesy in a house of God don't we you want to make sure that we leave it as we found it same with the toilet as well yeah you don't want to go in the toilet and it looks like someone's actually just had a hosepipe out in the men's toilet but it's some sort of weird yellow water you know you don't want to see that and I don't know what the women's toilets like but I'm sure sometimes that could be pretty bad and we need to teach our kids that don't we yeah we need to teach our kids to be courteous to the next person coming to the door isn't it horrible when you go into a public toilet somewhere you go in a toilet so you know some restaurant something else and you literally can't even touch anything and look it's not just a church we should all just be leaving something how we found it shouldn't we because that's disgusting isn't it and it's only you're trying to clean a toilet and you bring your kid in and you know they're gonna have to sit on this toilet and you kind of you spend five minutes like you feel like you need to get the mask and gloves out and it's disgusting yeah and it's not courteous it's it's rude and we want to make sure that we don't do that okay a couple of other points in it and I'm nearly done with this so I'm probably trodden on some toys at some point here respect of respect of furniture as well okay so just sometimes again kids need to be reminded not to be rocking on chairs chairs breaks that they'd have to be paid for don't know yeah adults sometimes need to be reminded that as well yeah and just not you know and obviously kids with pens and things drawing over things like rocking chairs and you know brand new rocking chairs which cost a foot anyway yes I that's a bugbear but yeah we need to be making sure don't we that our kids are respectful of everything bit and again if we're respectful they're more likely to be respectful rule-following okay again it's just being courteous isn't it yeah if you walked into a house and the house they said please take your shoes off you and gun yeah whatever I know they've invited me around but you know I don't do what I'm told yeah we're the church or some nonsense like that no look you come you're a guest in the church yeah okay yeah you might be part of the church but you're still coming as a guest in this building it's being put on for you please follow the rules yeah follow all rules because otherwise all you're going to do a little leaven-leaven of the whole lump yeah and we're just going to end up with a problem where no one's doing anything like they're meant to be doing so please follow the rules and just think of each other yeah we should just be thinking of each other that's what it's about is it thinking of each other and that's what it comes down to okay so turn to Leviticus 19 because this goes for visitors too and there's also respect like I said expected for the older members of a church yeah okay please remember this because this is something that we're losing from our society right now Leviticus 19 and from verse 32 Leviticus 19 32 says thou shalt rise up before the hoary head Leviticus 19 verse 32 hoary head is the old the the gray head and honor the face of the old man and fear thy God I am the Lord okay let's basically talk about rising up when you see someone older coming coming into a room yeah rising up for them okay showing them respect make your point of going up to them and shaking their hand oh well why should they what have they done to deserve respect well they put up with having many years on this planet for starters yeah yeah you probably do with a bit of respect they got this far yeah they got as far as the gray head well good on them yeah let's let's show them some respect let's we shouldn't just be you know talking down you should be actually showing them more respect you do to other people that's what the Bible seats you rise up before the hoary head and honor the face of the old man and fear thy God I am the Lord okay and if you're not doing that you should have a bit of fear forgot because he's he might chastise you about that yeah he might maybe make some old man come along and whack you with their walking stick or something else beat you down and you know you would try a bit of disrespect some old bad or just like beat you onto the floor and you look like a fool or something else okay I want to make sure that we respect the elderly he says in verse 33 and if a stranger sojourn with thee in your land you shall not vex him but the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you and thou shalt love him as thyself for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt I am the Lord your God okay so obviously if it's some blatant reprobate some weirdos and Catholic ministers and stuff like that I'm not saying we have to be respectful and polite for them but but visitors should be treated with the same courteousness that we treat each other yeah I think they're saved you know if I want to be near them look we should be treating them with respect shouldn't we treat them with respect treat them courteously okay and then ideally get them saved as well okay but they should be treated with respect now all of that should be straightforward yeah okay but it but it's not just the obvious stuff either if you go back to first Peter 3 it says in verse 8 finally be you'll of one mind having compassion one of another lovers brethren be pitiful be courteous okay verse 9 not rendering evil for evil or railing for railing but contrary wise blessing knowing that you're there unto called that you should inherit a blessing okay so not trying to get revenge slandering each other wanting each other instead we should be wanting each other to be blessed now look at verse 10 for he that will love life and see good days that in refrain his tongue from evil and his lips that they speak no guile okay so why because some people can seem very polite yeah okay it's not just about ticking the polite box okay the point in this being courteous is how how your heart is towards other people as well it's a consideration of other people because people can be very polite but they're polite with the passive-aggressive comments they're polite with the loaded questions with the subtle digs okay it doesn't matter how many pleases and thank-yous and how you know how much you look someone in the eye and you seem to be look you want to be making sure when you're in church that you're not you're not that you are sorry refraining your tongue from evil that you're not speaking guy or you're not trying to be clever and try and catch people or try and say a little dig about this or that when you talk to each other it should just be straight down the line it should just be compassionate and love for each other yeah you'd have to turn to first Corinthians 15 33 says be not deceived evil communications corrupt good manners it doesn't matter how good your manners are yeah the evil correct communications corrupt man obviously that's talking about false false doctrine there as well okay verse 11 says let him a stew or a skew or a shoe evil and do good I'll count with a third one there as well I think before I had a raise your hands he wants a shoe and who wants to skew and then I thought about an estu what about a stew he's going for a stew oh we got one estu okay I'll get a go with this to you for a while I like to be different okay so let him a stew evil and do good let him seek peace and ensue it okay so avoid evil focus on doing good okay seeking and following peace verse 12 for the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous and his ears are open unto their prayers but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil okay so we don't want the face of the Lord against us do we yeah I hope you don't want to face the Lord against you one way one good way of avoiding that is is to focus on being courteous to his children yeah look say with your kids yeah I'm sure if someone was just rude to your children just gave him a short shrift ignored them you know just just kept disrespecting them do you think you'd be that happy with them I'll tell you what when one of your kids does that to another kid it winds you up doesn't it yeah you're like what you're doing yeah talk to your sibling nicely yeah so it doesn't matter you are well I'm a child of God as well look you're a child of God yeah be polite be respectful to the other children of God yeah be courteous because God tells you to be courteous okay so the title is the courteous Christian be courteous in your family life because in your church life was number two number three be courteous in your soul winning life be courteous in your soul winning life look at verse 13 and who is he that will harm you if you be followers of that which is good but and if you suffer for righteousness sake happy are ye and be not afraid of their terror neither be trouble okay so who is he that will harm you because he's not really harming you when you're doing good right because Matthew 5 11 12 you have turned us as blessed are ye when men shall revile you because you all will have memorized this already and persecute you shall say all manner of evil against you falsely for my sake rejoice and be exceeding glad for great is your reward in heaven for so persecuted day the prophets which were before you and if you look at me thinking why was he reading that well yeah I didn't want to make any mistakes just in case because we're doing a Bible memory challenge you I don't want you guys to mess up on this yeah so okay okay that so that's why verse 14 here says happy are ye okay happy are ye because you should you're blessed aren't you okay when when people do persecute you say all manner of evil against you falsely for my sake now if you're sitting there and you're thinking what are you talking about brother Ian why why on earth would people persecute you if you're you know if you're like you know the vicar of Dibley type Christian you're just a nice you know flower arranging cup of tea and biscuit drinking Christian yeah why on earth would you would someone revile you and persecute you well because being a real Christian is saying the truth isn't it being a real Christian is preaching the Word of God from behind a pulpit not standing here deciding how much I could tickle you is being a real Christian for all of you guys is going out and preaching the gospel to people it's showing people how to get saved it's telling them that the way they've been taught at their you name it church Roman Catholic Church Anglican Church they whatever church you want to call it they're they're charismatic so-called you know Baptist Church yeah you name it they're Presbyterian Church they're fill in the blank religion yeah their way of working your way to heaven is a lie it's false and sadly people persecute you when you tell them the truth when you tell them the Bible says it's grace through faith it's a gift you have to receive that gift by putting your faith in Jesus Christ yeah that's it and and people hate you for it don't they they hate you for that and then they'll find excuses to hate you for the other things of the Word of God for preaching for example what we just preached about that women should submit unto their to their to their own husbands you absolute whatever you fill in the blank how dare you because that's what the world tells people to think because people don't like to think for themselves anymore do they they just like to think as they're told to think but what does the Bible say the Bible says and that's saying what does God say God says wives have been subjection to your own husbands yeah the Bible says and so also for husbands to love their wives yeah so it's not all a one-way street either but yeah you get reviled you get persecuted they say all manner of evil against you falsely for my sake but we should rejoice and be exceeding glad for great is our reward in heaven for so persecuted though the prophets which were before you so you're gonna get extra rewards in heaven when you get persecuted but that happens when you're out in the world doesn't it okay and you will get persecuted out in the world if you're living right if you're trying to live for the Lord and we've had this recently with family members when we just you know yeah we don't drink alcohol because alcohol drinking alcohol is a sin okay the Bible is clear about that not to even look upon fermented alcohol okay so family members get angry about that don't they and they find reasons to try and slander and get annoyed with you yeah because we we we dress normally because we haven't got into the latest very latest couple of decades in this country few decades along fashions of dressing our daughters like basic prostitutes sorry to be crude or boys men dressing like like the male version basically is what we see out there that you get you will get some persecution for that won't you people get angry because basically you're shining the light on them when you as a lady turn up dress as a lady in a dress you know that's not showing half your nakedness and everything else people hate it don't they people get angry people find a reason to be annoyed with you okay when you when you won't partake in their sin with them they get angry they persecute you and when you're out in the world in your soul-winning whether that's directly knocking doors or it's in your work you know in your non-church life you're gonna suffer some persecution as well if you're doing things for God all you all ye yeah that live God live Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution if you're not suffering it you haven't suffered it yet unless you're very new to the faith then it's probably because you're not living you not living right you're not living godly in Christ Jesus okay so okay we're gonna suffer it if you suffer for that then be happy and don't fear okay there's nothing to fear verse 15 says but sanctify the Lord God in your hearts and be ready always to give an answer to every man I ask if you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear meekness is a humility a submission to God's will okay we should be we should be meet shouldn't we yeah we should be humble there should be humility about us shouldn't be all arrogant when we go to doors and you don't know how to get saved you know type thing or scoffing when people give a response to us yeah we should be scoffing when people tell us what they think you have to do to get so no it's different I'm not talking about when you're talking to a blatant false prophet okay then it can be quite hard to control yourself but when you talk to the unsaved we want to we want to be polite we want to be courteous okay we should always be ready though shouldn't we always be ready and that's everywhere in life you should be ready and you're going to learn that by going out soul-winning the more you're soul-winning the more you're out doing soul-winning the more you'll be ready to give an answer to people okay right so verse 16 says having a good conscience that whereas they speak evil of you as of evildoers they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ for it is better if the will of God be so that you suffer for well-doing then for evil doing so yes all good if it's for righteous sake but it's not but not if it's because of your rudeness if you're going out knocking on doors and you're being rude to people and you're and or you're out you're talking to people in the street and you're being rude to them and you're being a bit off and you're being a bit bully issue you're being a little bit a little bit mucky a little bit scornful or something else to people and you suffer you're not suffering for righteousness sake you're suffering for your lack of courteousness same in your work life same in your whatever areas of your private life if you're just being off with people if you're not being courteous and you're suffering for that well then then you're not suffering for righteousness sake because look they want something to justify speaking evil of you don't know they're looking for anything they'll grab it I mean they'll grab you you preach what the Bible says about sodomites now I mean oh look 56 years ago that would have been ridiculous no one would have even imagined that people would be criticizing you for saying what a sodomite is what the Bible says but now look look at the sort of flag people are getting for just preaching what was just common knowledge across the world and and the numbers being done on people of course the brainwash is strong isn't it yeah the conditioning by the media is strong but but the rest of it they just want anything so if it's not that they'll grab some you notice people do that so well what do you think about gays well you're trying to preach because I'm trying to preach you the gospel what's that got to do with anything I'm trying to get you saved and they do it with all sorts don't know what do you think about and it's just because they want something and I tell you what if you turn up to someone's door and you're rude to them you you you you mock you you scored you're a bit off you you come out with you know you interrupt don't interrupt people yeah that's a good good lesson in fact we're gonna go for a few of these let's go for a few of these now because how does it look when we're out soul-winning well treat properties as with respect that's a good starter yeah don't have your kids sitting on people's garden walls swinging off their fences you know and the rest of it because people want a reason don't know I mean I had a guy just shouting and swearing at me just because because I was talking to someone who happened to be parked kind of across what was an unused driveway full of rubble you know they want an excuse don't they they want any excuse I'll get your kid off that way you know I would have talked to you but you know like they like they like the COVID one didn't they you know you like five meters back and it's like what are you talking about but but they'll look for anything won't they they want an excuse so don't give them an excuse so treat the property with respect don't be running across their lawns yeah don't be doing all of that sort of stuff kids you have to be careful with this as well kids are a great help when you're soul-winning aren't they but you've got to make sure kids don't become a hindrance as well because you are a great help I mean for me I think I think a lot so many of my salvation's I think have even been possible because I've had my children with me and it just softens people people that just you know they're a lot happier to talk to you a lot of the time aren't they yeah okay so look kids are great but kids just be careful you don't give them a reason to be annoyed with you okay manners when we speak to people okay that includes the please and the thank yous and a respect respect to elders yeah should be giving respect to elders we should be just respectful to people in general we should be courteous we should be should be making sure that we're using all our all the manners that you know and be polite to people right don't interrupt them okay don't interrupt them and don't tell people off when they interrupt you okay you're trying to you're trying to be a shining light you're an ambassador for Christ let me finish you know that's rude yeah okay make sure that you're being courteous you're being polite to people don't don't don't mock obviously don't mock them when they say some you know they've given a response so what do you think you got to do to go to heaven really you know that don't do that yeah okay make sure that you're just polite you're respectful okay and be polite when it's time to move on as well yeah you don't know look especially when we're knocking local here but it doesn't really matter anyway because we're hoping there's going to be more and more church more more people knocking they they have a chance to go listen to the gospel look further down line because we're leaving them a video which clearly shows the gospel from the Word of God okay and they might look at that if you're if when they say oh well I've got a rush you start getting annoyed or mocking and yeah good luck you know see yeah well so I won't see you but someone's gonna see you in hell or something like that look you know anything like that it's just weird that's not gonna help is it you want them you want to be playing when someone's rude to you just be polite to it yeah let's say obviously just some full even then just you might as well be polite because all you're gonna do is end up with them probably following you down the road carrying on and on your cases try and be polite and move on hold your head high right be compassionate as well how about that you preach the gospel to someone someone says well I just lost whoever recently yeah well anyway let me finish you know blah blah like don't do that yeah obviously be compassionate someone needs to talk to you a bit about they've just lost someone look even if even if it hijacked the whole gospel presentation that person just went away going well at least that Christian wanted to talk to me about about the loss in my life look that's worth it isn't it yeah don't you got to have some compassion for things people have been through as well in Jude and verse 22 23 again yeah turn there everyone knows he's worse it says and of some have compassion make a difference yeah we should have compassion shouldn't we yeah make a difference and that can make a difference someone might go away and go look think back at that and go no that person had compassion most people just part of because a lot of people I don't know if you notice when you lose someone when you go because there's so many narcissists in life they cannot deal with you talking about anything that's ever happened in your life you ever notice that you're like you'll talk about something talk about losing someone and they just cannot cope cannot deal with it conversation has to come back to them it has to go on to something else well look we want to show no we're Christians yeah we do have compassion don't we yeah we have compassion on some have of some have compassion make a difference and others save with fear pulling them out of the fire hating even the garment spotted by the flesh okay some some need need to be saved with fear but that could still be done courteously doesn't it that doesn't have to be firing brimstone screaming preaching on the doorstep yeah okay look yeah they need to know about hell they need to know that the wages of sin is death they need to know that one sin is taking them to hell and they do a lot more than one sin but but you can still do that courteously can't you yeah okay so and obviously that applies to those in our personal life too so turn to Colossians 4 we're nearly done now where Paul is is finishing his letter to the Colossian Church with these instructions so Colossians chapter 4 I'm going to look from verse 2 Colossians 4 2 says continue in prayer and watching the same with Thanksgiving with all praying also for us that God would open unto us a door of utterance to speak the mystery of Christ for which I am also in bonds that I may make it manifest as I ought to speak walk in wisdom toward them that are without redeeming the time so he's saying be wise yeah make best use of the time yeah yeah we need to walk in wisdom to them that are without okay and look some people and of some have compassion make a difference and others say with fear pulling them out of the fire look there's different ways of different people aren't there okay we want to walk in wisdom redeeming the time making best use of the time that you're with someone as well let your speech be always with grace seasoned with salt that you may know how you ought to answer every man like grace is favor goodwill kindness okay our speech should be with goodwill and kindness towards people yeah seasoned with salt salt is for preservation and what's it talk about here I think the words of eternal life okay that's what I believe seasoned with salt that you may know how you ought to answer every man look if our speech is ready if we're always ready ready to preach to people if what if our speech is always with grace but seasoned with salt those eternal words are ready to save people well look that's the best way to be isn't it yeah we should always be ready shouldn't we to give an answer them that ask if of the hope that life within us or something I hope I didn't butcher that but but look we should be ready shouldn't we we should be ready to preach the gospel to people we should make sure that we have those words ready and we and when we talk to people we want to be trying to show them how to get saved but we need to redeem the time we need to walk in wisdom we need to do that in a wise way okay so the title was the courteous Christian number one is be courteous in your family life and that's going to knock on to your kids isn't it okay and if you're sitting if you will I don't have kids and my kids are older or whatever else you know well look we should still be courteous to each other anyway yeah you courteous at home you're more likely to be courteous when you're out and about and and and again it's it's a command of God be courteous yeah and if he's saying to each other well and he's talking about two members of the church well who's more of a brother or sister of Christ in your husbands and wives or family members yeah and that includes siblings kids as well be courteous to your siblings yeah when you grow up you're going to end up you know you're going to end up having a lot more in common with your siblings and we must people okay don't ruin that relationship when you're young yeah make sure that you're courteous to each other that you're polite that you're loving to each other be compassionate to each other be courteous in your family life be courteous in your church life yeah be courteous when you're here look that stuff and I know some of that stuff's going to be hard for some people okay some bits of that are going to be more difficult for some than others but I think I think they're pretty obvious stuff I don't think any of that was pretty outlandish was it any of that was uh you know what on earth brother Ian I've got to actually like come in and say hello to people in a church what sort of a crazed you know cult is this well look we're just a Bible believing church that just believe that when God says be courteous we should be courteous yeah okay be courteous in your church life and be courteous in your soul winning life yeah we want to we want to do the best we possibly can when we're preaching the gospel to people and that includes with those in our personal life as well okay on that let's pray well though I thank you for your for your word I thank you for for you know your instruction in the Bible for how you make things so clear and and how you help us to live because you know without the Word of God well we would all be pretty wayward and we thank you that that you give us the Word of God that that you give us the ability to hear it preached and we have that we have this church be able to hear it but help us with having this church should put in a practice what we hear preached and not only in this church but in our home life out when we're out you know trying to trying to help people to receive that gift of eternal life and Lord I pray that you help us this afternoon with that help us to go out and and just just you know be courteous when we're out on those streets preaching to people help us to get people saved and help us to all return here for this evening's service in Jesus name we pray all of this amen