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He hath made a decree which shall not pass Praise the Lord from the earth, ye Dragons and all deeps, fire and hail Snow and vapour, stormy wind Fulfilling His word, mountains and all hills Fruitful trees and all cedars beast And all cattle creeping things and flying fowl Kings of the earth and all people Princes and all judges of the earth Both young men and maidens Old men and children, let them praise the name of the Lord For His name alone is excellent, His glory is above the earth And heaven He also exalted the horn of His people The praise of all His saints, even of the children of Israel A people near unto Him praise ye the Lord Please turn to your Bibles to 1 Corinthians chapter number 7 1 Corinthians chapter number 7, we'll pass the offering plates And follow along as brother Nick is going to read the entire chapter for us 1 Corinthians chapter number 7, we'll pass the offering plates 1 Corinthians chapter 7, the Bible reads Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me It is good for a man not to touch a woman Nevertheless to avoid fornication let every man have his own wife And let every woman have her own husband Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence And likewise also the wife unto the husband The wife hath not power of her own body but the husband And likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body but the wife Defraud ye not one the other except it be with consent for a time That ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer and come together again That Satan tempt you not for your incontinency But I speak this by permission and not of commandment For I would that all men were even as I myself But every man had this proper gift of God One after this manner and another after that I say therefore to the unmarried and widows It is good for them if they abide even as I But if they cannot contain let them marry For it is better to marry than to burn And unto the married I command yet not I but the Lord Let not the wife depart from her husband But and if she depart let her remain unmarried And be reconciled to her husband And let not the husband put away his wife But to the rest be guy not the Lord If any brother hath a wife that believeth not And she be pleased to dwell with him Let him not put her away And the woman which hath a husband that believeth not And if he be pleased to dwell with her let her not leave him For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife And the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband Else were your children unclean but now are they holy But if the unbelieving depart let him depart A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases But God hath called us to peace For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband And how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife But as God had distributed to every man As the Lord hath called everyone Let him so walk and so ordained I in all churches Is any man called being circumcised? Let him not become uncircumcised Is any called an uncircumcision? Let him not be uncircumcised Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing But the keeping of the commandments of God Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called Art thou called being a servant? Care not for it, but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather For he that is called in the Lord being a servant is the Lord's free man Likewise also he that is called being free is Christ's servant Ye are bought with a price, be not ye the servants of men Brethren, let every man wherein he is called therein abide with God Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord Yet I give my judgment as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress I say that it is good for a man so to be Art thou bound unto a wife? Seek not to be loose Art thou loose from a wife? Seek not a wife But if thou marry, thou is not sinned And if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned Nevertheless, such shall have trouble in the flesh, but I spare you But this I say, brethren, the time is short, it remaineth That both they that have wives be though as they had none And they that weep as though they wept not And they that rejoice as though they rejoice not And they that buy as though they possess not And they that use this world as not abusing it For the fashion of this world passeth away But I would have you without carefulness He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord How he may please the Lord But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world How he may please his wife There is a difference also between a wife and a virgin The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord That she may be holy both in body and in spirit But she that is married careth for the things of the world That she may please her husband And this I speak for your own profit Not that I may cast a snare upon you But for that which is calmly And that you may attend upon the Lord without distraction But if any man think that he behaveth himself Uncalmly toward his virgin If she pass the flower of her age And need so require Let him do what he will He sinneth not, let them marry Nevertheless he that standeth steadfast in his heart Having no necessity But hath power over his own will And hath so decreed in his heart That he will keep his virgin doeth well So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well But he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better The wife is bound by the law As long as her husband liveth But if her husband be dead She is at liberty to be married To whom she will Only in the Lord But she is happier if she so abide After my judgment And I think also that I have the spirit of God Let us pray Father we thank you for this great church We thank you for the congregation And pastor and his family I pray that you will just open pastor's heart tonight And help him to preach what he has prepared for us Lord we just pray that you will Guide the soul winners feet and their past As they go to Mexico And I pray that you will soften hearts now Lord And remove all obstacles and distractions for them And that they will do a great work for you And that they will lead many to Christ And I pray these things in Jesus name Amen Amen Look back at verse number 1 The Bible says Now concerning the things where have you wrote unto me It is good for a man not to touch a woman Nevertheless to avoid fornication Let every man have his own wife And let every woman have her own husband Let the husband render unto the wife do benevolence And likewise also the wife unto the husband The wife hath not power of her own body but the husband And likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body but the wife Defright ye not one the other Except it be with consent for a time That ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer And come together again that Satan tempt you not For your incontinency And we have a passage here where the apostle Paul is kind of addressing a couple issues All in one particular statement or one kind of passage here in scripture But he's mostly concerning himself with avoiding fornication That's the main context of this section But in answering this particular question or the idea about how do we stop people from committing fornication He brings up that marriage is the solution And of course that is the only solution to fornication is marriage If you're really going to avoid this temptation and avoid this sin That is what God has created and given us to avoid that particular sin Now he also explains that technically speaking from his perspective Marriage is not necessarily idyllic Okay so I want to show this verse, verse 6 But I speak this by permission and not of commandments So the apostle Paul is now going to give us kind of his personal opinion on this category He says in verse 7 For I would that all men were even as I myself But every man had this proper gift of God One after this man and another after that I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I But if they cannot contain, let them marry For it is better to marry than to burn So the apostle Paul is saying someone is not married or their spouse has died He's saying technically speaking he personally believes that it would be better for that person to never get married And to simply just serve Christ with their entire life What he's not saying is to be a whoremonger He's not saying don't get married and then be a whoremonger He's not saying don't get married and be a catholic predator in the catholic church He's not saying don't get married and commit all kinds of sin in this area He's basically saying if you're capable of not sinning in this area Like you don't have just this overwhelming burning desire inside that's kind of uncontrollable Then it would be better to just technically not even marry And then you could serve the Lord and as he describes it later Serve the Lord without distraction Now being real or realistic about this passage People who can just control themselves in this area without having to get married Has got to be less than 1% of the population So for 99% of us or even higher whatever the number is exactly God's will for our lives is not to abstain from marriage It is God's will for us to be married But you have to understand something What is the deciding factor And I'll say this I personally agree with Paul So I think that from a scriptural perspective everything Paul said makes sense And I agree with it I think theoretically if you didn't have a desire for marriage It would be better to just serve God without having getting married And just win as many people to Christ and just get plugged in in church and just be faithful and do whatever You don't have to do that But because that's such a rarity Most people that's not what God's will is for their life So I agree with this But if we think about it What is the deciding factor Between a man deciding to get married And a man deciding not to get married It's one thing If he has that burning desire And so the title of my sermon is this The main reason men get married The main reason men get married And you say why? To avoid fornication folks Okay You say oh man that's just so misogynistic or whatever you know That's reality That is and that's not my That's what the Bible is saying There is one really good reason why men get married And there's nothing wrong with it Okay And the Bible is saying that that is literally What is the main reason to even get married I mean this is not my opinion alone This is the apostle Paul saying hey guys There's one reason for you to get married out there And this is it Okay now let's dig through this chapter a little bit more closely Look back at verse number one Now concerning the things where have you wrote unto me It is good for a man not to touch a woman Don't take a hyper literal interpretation of this This is not saying that if you poke a girl that's bad or something Okay What is basically insinuating is touching her in a way that you wouldn't touch her father Okay This is a good rule of thumb If you wouldn't touch her father that way You shouldn't touch her that way If you're not married That's basically what it's saying You know men should respect women And especially that they're not married to And treat them like a sister Until they're married Now it says in verse two Nevertheless to avoid fornication Let every man have his own wife And let every woman have her own husband So the way that men and women avoid this sin of fornication Is to get married Why? Because if you don't get married And you have this strong desire You're gonna sin Like it's not like Well but maybe they just won't sin or something like that It's like no you're gonna sin in this area That's one of the main reasons to get married If not the only reason But I'm not saying it's the only reason Because that will offend too many people I'm saying it's the main reason Alright folks okay Because of course men should want to have children And a friend and everything like that But you can have friends without being married And there's more to life than just marriage Now here's the thing Marriage is I think the greatest institution You know that humanly speaking I have You know my wife is the closest The most intimate relationship I have But let me tell you the main reason I got married Is to avoid fornication Okay Now it says in verse number three Let the husband render unto the wife Do benevolence And likewise also the wife unto the husband I like this phrasing Do benevolence Do benevolence Now what is benevolence? You look it up in a dictionary It's only used once in the Bible Look it up in a dictionary It says A disposition to do good An act of kindness Or a compulsory contribution or tax levied Now obviously that's a little bit different But it's kind of the same thought process And think about what it's saying Do benevolence It's saying what's owed What's something that's due is it's owed It's expected It's demanded in fact So it's saying you are demanded To show benevolence unto your spouse Men unto women and women unto men As a contract of getting married You are saying I owe you benevolence It's like oh what do I owe you You know you got to treat me nice or something No no it's just owed It's just expected It's just automatic you owe this person benevolence Because you got married to them That is the whole reason you got married It says in verse 4 The wife hath not power of her own body Now some feminist needs to be told this verse It's not my body my choice It's my wife my choice That's what the Bible says Okay it doesn't say my wife gets a choice over her body I get a choice over her body But here's the flip side She gets a choice over my body too Alright You guys that are like I'm in charge Well not on this issue Are you reading the same Bible? Look at this And likewise also the husband Hath not power of his own body But the wife What is the Bible saying? It is saying when you get married You forfeited the right to your body to your spouse I didn't say that That's what the Bible is saying It is saying your spouse owns your body and writes to it And you owe them And you say for how long until you die That is what the Bible is saying Look at verse 5 Defraud ye not one the other So if you don't do this You're actually defrauding your spouse Because the whole point of getting married Was you were saying This is guaranteed locked in for life You have complete control over me Whatever you want you get It says the only exception Except it be with consent for a time So the only way you could say no Is if both people say we both agree We're not going to do this For whatever a period of time And notice it has a very specific purpose That you may give yourselves the fasting and prayer So the only reason you would ever deny your spouse This benevolence that God has instituted for marriage Is if you both said you know what We're just praying and fasting for this day Or this whatever period of time And so we're going to abstain But as soon as that's over It's back on the table And in fact think about it At any point your spouse just demands it It's supposed to be honored It is a part of that contract That you always deliver on You always are supposed to be able to give It's due Now he's saying if you don't do this though You're defrauding them Why? Because that again What's the main reason of getting married? This, the due benevolence The fact that it's supposed to be honored It's supposed to be given And notice what it says in the latter part of verse 5 And come together again That Satan tempts you not For your incontinency So it's actually If you think about what this verse is saying This verse is saying If your spouse Gets due benevolence Every single time they want Just on demand Just whatever they want Then you're not even going to be tempted Because think about what he's saying here That Satan tempts you not So he's saying if you're not If you're doing it right Satan can't even tempt you in this area So why is it that there's so much temptation in this area And why so many marriages are struggling It's because they're not doing what the Bible says They're not saying this is just a guaranteed Locked in Whenever However I mean Look in a breast feeding church We should learn what on demand means Okay I mean when that baby cries It gets the milk right? I mean it gets what it wants When it wants it If you apply this To marriage And what I'm saying What the Bible is saying Is that Satan can't even tempt you in that area And you know what It'll fix a lot of marriage problems Frankly speaking And I'm just trying to slow down And tell you what the Bible is saying here I didn't come up with any of this This is what the Bible is saying Defraud ye not one another What is the main reason men get married? Due benevolence And you say Well yeah if that was one of the cases I could see why they want to get married Of course Look folks There's a reason why the guy has to pay all the bills And protect the whole family And deal with all the hormones And deal with all the nagging And the crying And the complaining And all the They're like Why would a guy ever put up with that? Due benevolence You think If you could explain Like if you took that out of the marriage contract And tried to explain marriage to guys They'd be like What are you talking about? Why in the world You know you say like Oh man Well why did God make men want that so much? Because they have to deal with a lot folks Okay It's like Why would you want to have to deal with all these problems And again Men are the stronger Of the two right I don't I make so much more money than I need personally In the sense that I don't need all the money that I make for just me I need all that extra money for my wife And her shopping habits And my children And their clothing that they need You know They need all the matching purses And shoes It's like I gotta put a lot of strength To satisfy all of that And I gotta put a lot of energy And we gotta like protect things And There's a lot to do as a man And of course You could see why a lot of men would say Like I'm not interested in that Being selfish Being selfish Or just wanting to just go do their own thing Or play games Or whatever You know Some guys They have More fun talking about sports And And doing whatever Hanging out with the guys or whatever Maybe they're not as interested In that kind of a Human relationship But you know what God puts something inside of men That says Hey there's a specific need you have That only she can fulfill And you're like I will tolerate all of it For due benevolence I mean you gotta think of like God put a really strong desire But see what happens is When you don't do God's program These things get screwed up Because when you have an insatiable hunger For a particular food that you can't have It causes problems You know imagine Having had Texas brisket in your life And then moving anywhere else You know Go to Florida Okay It's like They don't even have brisket there They don't even know what brisket is And it's like That's gonna cause problems Okay And the same thing is In a relationship Men have a very specific need And women even have this need It's not like it's just a man thing only But what I'm trying to explain is This world almost demonizes men For like wanting That From their wives Because they'll be like Oh it's too often or something Or oh man it's just That's all they think about And it's like Okay well that's how God wired it I mean aren't you thankful That your husband has like zero desire To go away Like run away screaming In the other direction Or to like just quit On the relationship I mean there's There's a reason why he's attached to you Okay folks And so if you take that away You end up causing him to want to go away Or to do something else It's like you have this one magnet That you're attracting This metal to You need to make sure to keep that magnet strong Okay And keep it burning Keep that fire burning But of course If you don't What's gonna happen Well Maybe the Bible Has like at least one story That could just enlighten us On this topic Maybe just one time Go to Genesis chapter number six I mean I wonder if there's ever been a time When the marriage contract Was not really going so hot And it caused a problem I don't know Maybe let's just let the Bible fall open anywhere Look at Genesis chapter six Look at verse number two Let's read verse one Because it just starts with a that And it came to pass when men Began to multiply on the face of the earth And daughters were born to them That the sons of God Saw the daughters of men That they were fair And they took them wives Of all which they chose Look right at the very beginning It's like multiple wives Bam Go if you would to second chronicles chapter eleven How about Abraham Sarah and Hagar How about Jacob Rachel and Leah How about Judah Multiple wives How about Saul Multiple wives How about David Multiple wives How about Solomon Multiple concubines I mean this guy You think he satisfied Seven hundred wives Three hundred concubines, folks It's like Oh my husband likes me a lot How much do you think Solomon Had a desire for that How much do you think Solomon Had a desire for that A thousand women Oh if my husband was more spiritual Was he as spiritual as Solomon Is he as spiritual as David Is he as spiritual as Abraham I mean what What man of God in the Bible Virtually speaking Where are you going to find these guys That don't have that desire It's all over the Bible, folks Okay But of course Why did David have this problem Well When his first marriage was a train wreck And she wasn't even there with him Think about it This guy's been out in the wilderness For a long time And then he's just like Just stacking wives after that Ahinoim And Nabal the Carmelite is his wife You know Abigail He's just like He just started stacking wives And Hebron And then goes back Oh I gotta take Uriah's wife now too And I mean he just keeps stacking wives There's a reason why Look at 2 Chronicles chapter 11 Look at verse 22 Let me tell you If there is a sin that is common to man It's this sin Because just every man in the Bible Virtually speaking With the exception of the eunuchs I mean it's hard to find any guy That's a godly man or guy Even the good guys That didn't have this problem That didn't struggle I mean How about Samson There's a guy that didn't struggle With this problem right Oh wait no he didn't Obviously And Of course you know Desiring Many wives Why do you think it is That Rehoboam desired many wives He just really likes that conversation you know He was just hoping to get those Those biscuits right you know No there's one reason folks Okay And it's the main reason men get married It's the main reason they They even added all the wives unto them But What did 1 Corinthians chapter 7 actually say It said that Satan Could actually not even be able to tempt you If what The wife and the husband are showing each other Due benevolence And there's no defrauding one another For any reason But the problem is Is when you're defrauding one another You're gonna give the devil So much area to tempt you And so much option And folks Some sins are easier than others This sin Has never been easier than 2022 When you are not Giving due benevolence Under your spouse In this country Your spouse has A million A million other options At their fingertips And it's so easy It's never been easier There's never been more temptation There's never been more On the table And you say Well I Don't want that to happen Show due benevolence It's not That your husband has a problem Okay It's not that your wife has a problem Okay This is just a normal need Just like eating food Is a normal daily need Breathing oxygen Okay There's certain Things that we all just need That are normal I need sleep You know if you tried to keep me up I would eventually just fall asleep Because I can't just stay up forever If you Stop giving me food I would eventually find something to eat If you stop giving me a drink I'd find something to drink Right That's just because your body has certain needs And when you just shut off certain needs That the body has The whole point of the person getting married You know what You're almost driving them To seek an alternative You know if you just stop making food Like you just never made dinner For your husband ever again I guarantee he might sneak at McDonald's And you're like Oh you like McDonald's Well some people in this room do They need prayer right But you know what Is You know why people eat McDonald's Because it's better than nothing That's why Frankly speaking it's better than nothing Okay Now is it better than other good food No absolutely not And sometimes people get They get confused about this And sometimes women Who have a husband that makes a mistake in this area They might think like Oh well Why would my husband want McDonald's It's not that he doesn't want It's not that he wants McDonald's over filet mignon at home He wasn't getting filet mignon He's getting nothing He's starving to death So then he gets McDonald's And you know frankly speaking When men cheat Usually it's McDonald's Have you ever seen Tiger Woods cheat list Dude it does not look like Ellen Nordogen Okay It is like ugly as sin And you're thinking like What did you get I mean he got like Indian food He got like Indian food covered in ranch dressing It was like what is this Okay It was like what are you doing dude And it's like When men Are getting filet mignon at home What they're not gonna do is stop At the McDonald's on the way Cause they don't want to spoil that dinner And so it's important to realize That you need to Serve up filet mignon at dinner Right okay That was the message right Go to Proverbs chapter 5 Go to Proverbs chapter 5 Whether your men in this room Are gonna scream amen At this sermon or not They are in their heart okay And you know what God bless it I mean there's women that Have a stronger desire Than their husband at times And that's okay too You know It slices both ways But let me tell you something It's wrong to defraud your spouse And I think because People don't bring this up It enables people To have marriage problems Or marriage issues Or there's just so much television There's so much messaging out there That's like well if your husband's mean Then you know Defraud him It's like that's wicked advice I don't care if you're scream fighting each other You don't defraud each other It doesn't matter What the situation is It's just not It should just never be an option And what you and your spouse should do Is you should just both mentally agree And say you know what I'm not gonna ever use that As a weapon Or a tool in our marriage That's off the table Yeah we can disagree We can get upset We can talk about it But that is not something That's allowed to be taken off the table Because the alternative Is just so much worse And you don't want to drive your spouse Into the arms of someone else Okay Look at Proverbs chapter 5 look at verse 15 Drink waters out of thine own cistern And running waters out of thine own well Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad And rivers of waters in the streets Let them be only thine own And not strangers with thee Let thy fountain be blessed And rejoice with the wife of thy youth Let her be as the loving hind And pleasant roe Let her breast satisfy thee at all times And be thou ravished always With her love I love this Ravished always You say hey Pastor Shelley Put a timeline on this Always Like how often Always You say how often Whatever your spouse says That's what it is And you know what I eat three meals a day And you know You know why I eat three meals a day Because I get hungry three times a day Right That's different for every person Okay Whatever it is It is what it is You know I can't sit here and be like Oh why did God make me want three meals a day He did Folks Okay It just is what it is Also notice that it says in verse 18 Rejoice with the wife of thy youth Now if you kind of think about this verse for a moment If this is true She's not young Because he's like saying Rejoice with the wife of thy youth Meaning you married her What? When y'all were young And you're what Now you're still married Meaning what It's not like The world will say this Oh how How frustrating it would be To be with the same person Your whole life And it's like the Bible's saying the opposite It's saying to rejoice That you're still with the same woman That you were with When you were young It's saying hey Rejoice with the wife Of thy youth It's not saying hey Rejoice with another young chick What do most guys They're upgrading right In their mind Let's get another young bimbo And let's get another young bimbo No no no It says rejoice with the wife of thy youth Stay with the woman you got when you were young And never depart from her And notice it's saying Let her breast satisfy thee at all times And be thou ravished always with her love You know a problem That you're gonna have In your marriage Is when you're not being intimate with one another When you're not showing due benevolence It's gonna cause friction in your relationship No matter what stage of your marriage you're in This is a crucial Crucial element Of a relationship And men and women need to realize This is something that's gonna Keep the fire burning And I'll say this Maybe It's not burning that hot right now But when you decide Hey Whenever however It can rekindle those fires It can actually change a lot of things You know When you're fighting And then you show due benevolence You might stop fighting It's gonna end fights for you Okay It's gonna fix a lot of things Now I don't want you to get the wrong impression I'm not saying though That men Should just be a jerk And then just Take advantage of the situation Because oh my spouse is willing to feed me whatever So I should be a jerk Hey you should still be as sweet as you can You should still be as romantic as you can You should still try to Have that relationship be something you both desire But what we are saying is Even when the fireworks aren't there folks It's still on the table And let's be honest Is every meal at home Flame and yawn No Sometimes it's chicken fried steak Sometimes it's chicken You know With vegetables Sometimes it's chicken salad Right It's not always gonna be the same meal But you know what There's always food on the table And that's what has to be the key ingredient That there's always dinner served It's not that It's always filet mignon necessarily Okay You can't always have The greatest meal Otherwise the greatest meal Wouldn't even be the greatest meal anymore You know having a variety Ends up making The good meals that much better When you get to have them You know if you eat out of your favorite restaurant A lot of times in a row It can start to get to a point Where you're not even wanting anymore You don't even like it as much anymore It kind of is Is whatever So that's why it's nice to have A little bit of Variety And when it comes to a relationship You shouldn't expect That it's gonna always be the exact same Sometimes it's gonna be better than others That's okay There's gonna be different situations But what is gonna happen Is you just say hey Always You're always getting meals You're always getting fed You know It's always there It's always ready And notice that the Bible is wording it Ravished always With her love Now, go if you go to Proverbs chapter number 6 We're right there really Verse 23 For the commandment is a lamp And the law is light And her proofs of instruction Are the way of life To keep thee from the evil woman From the flattery of the tongue Of a strange woman Lest not after her beauty and thine heart Neither let her take thee with her eyelids For by means of a whorish woman A man is brought To a piece of bread And the adulterous will hunt For the precious life Can a man take fire in his bosom And his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals And his feet not be burned? So he that goeth into his neighbor's wife Who's over toucheth her Shall not be innocent What the Bible is saying is that You can't go Down a certain road And not end up making a big mistake Is what is basically insinuating You know, you can't play with fire And not get burned And when it comes to men You know, you need to avoid relationships With other women Period You know, I You don't want to get close to them You don't want to ever be alone With another woman when you're married You want to have eyes for her Eyes only for her And of course, here's the thing Sometimes men will be served filet mignon every night And they'll still be looking at the McDonald's billboard And they'll still like sneak in a Big Mac Or something It's like Don't do that But you know why you did that? It's because you started looking at the billboard And it looked It always looks better on the billboard Than real life, folks You look at the billboard And you're like That actually looks kind of good But then you open the box And you're like What is this? It's trash, folks And let me tell you something Everything outside of your marriage is trash, folks Okay Of course, it'll give you a temporary satisfaction But you know what? Like Taco Bell It hurts afterwards And it can burn In places you don't want it to burn That's why you don't go there You don't make the late Taco Bell run Okay So as a man You know if your wife is one that's willing To satisfy your needs Even if she's not Frankly speaking You just You just Get excited about her only And you think about her only And you don't let yourself Have the stupid poster in the garage And you don't have the stupid filthy You know mag Somewhere that you hide You don't go look at all the other trash Because You know It's not like It's not like I don't desire all kinds of food You know I could enjoy food from all kinds of restaurants And all kinds of places And of course You know it's not like men are only attracted To one woman on the planet That's not reality You have to force yourself To have eyes for only one person And when you start going down the wrong road You have to shut it off as soon as possible And you know where it really It starts here You have to stop it here And then you have to start trying I mean No matter where you're at in the process You need to put a stop to it But Really you shouldn't even be daydreaming About the other stuff And that's what Movie and Hollywood And all this stuff Is just so wicked Because Virtually every movie And every TV show And all these things They're always trying to plant these seeds In your mind Of other women And looking at other things And And of course It just leads down a dark road And it's not like Oh Bad men do that Every guy does that Constantly You have to fight against it The flesh Loves to do this The flesh would love to just eat Every meal that it could possibly eat But you have to say no to it You have to not think about it And you have to think about the flame And yawn at home See what's the goal of this sermon? It's for spouses to realize That every spouse needs this all the time And You know I kind of joked with somebody the other day But I was like You know If you want to fix your marriage problems I have three steps for you Okay If you feel like you have any kind of marriage issues This is how If you both agree to this This is how you fix it Number one Wife obey your husband every single time Number two Show due benevolence Every single time the other spouse wants it And number three Take your wife to the right church every time the doors are open Now if you're doing all three of those Then come tell me later that you have marriage problems You won't have any marriage problems And I'll say this It's never hard to know what to do It's hard to do it The right thing is easy to know what to do It's hard to do it Wives obey your husbands That was easy to say But you know it's hard for wives to obey their husbands You know what It's easy for me to get up and say Show due benevolence But you know what You got to do it And it's easy to say go to church But you know it's a little bit harder to actually drag yourself out there And always show up at church sometimes Sometimes it's not always the most fun I remember me and my wife when we were dating I don't know what it was But it was like we always got in an argument Right before going to church I'm not going to ask for a raise of hands But I guarantee there's been people in this room That argued Before church Right after church They may even give each other a couple of looks during the service Okay That's life folks But you know what You can get over all the silly A lot of the silly and the dumb stuff When you realize what Hey God gave you this relationship for a reason And there's a lot of things to enjoy Marriage is honorable and all in the bed undefiled But adulterers and whoremongers God will judge And so You have to realize God Is the one that blessed us with this And I'll bring up a few reasons why people don't do this Number one is because of birth control And it's weird because you would think like Oh birth control is a green light But actually what birth control does to women Is it lowers their hormone level It lowers their testosterone level And yes women have testosterone And it actually causes them to not want to do this at all And so it's like the worst thing you can do Is put your wife on birth control Because number one she won't even want to And then number two You're possibly going to murder children In the process And yes birth control murders children It didn't say conception control It's called birth control folks And it's accurately named So it'll take Very young fertilized eggs That are trying to implant in the uterus And flush them out And basically just murder fertilized eggs Which I believe our children do Okay you say when is it a child When it's been fertilized You know at that point It's there Now of course you know Fundamental Baptist Historically I believe that But even now a lot of Fundamental Baptist Won't preach against birth control You know I will still preach against birth control I believe all forms of birth control You know should be eliminated Now there's a lot of things Now there's a lot of variations There's the pill and all that You should never take that Okay Now when I say birth control I'm meaning artificial medication type things Okay or devices There is a natural birth control That I'm all for It's called on-demand breastfeeding It's called the LAM method Is the technical term Lactational Ana Maria method But you know that's what God gave us So there's nothing wrong with birth control That God gave you In fact I say hey let my wife nurse until You know they're five No I'm just kidding They can nurse as long as they want And there's nothing wrong with that You know you're not like sinning by Your wife not having a cycle Because she's breastfeeding That's a blessing folks okay That is not a bad thing Ride that until you can't anymore But there is other forms of birth control That people practice You know Onan practiced birth control And God just straight killed him Now I'd say this you know He was just refusing to have a child in general So of course God looked down on that And just wanted to destroy him There's this weird idea from the Catholics That they say Any kind of pleasure between husband and wife That is not purposely trying to get pregnant Is sinful Wait a minute Marriage is honorable and all And the bed undefiled Okay So no I don't I don't believe that at all You know I believe that whatever the Husband and wife do that's natural Is great And it should be done as much as they Are both wanting to do so And frankly speaking you know sometimes There might even be activities that need To be done that are not procreation design That's fine That's great That's wonderful As long as you're just showing due benevolence Okay Unto your spouse But if you're if you're deciding You know what I'm too afraid of having a kid So I'm just gonna do nothing That is wrong Of course I believe that hey You can serve up chicken tenders You can serve up chicken fried steak You can serve up Hey cold sandwiches But you don't serve nothing Nothing is not an option folks Okay That is that should be eliminated From all marriages There should never be a time when the spouse Is wanting due benevolence And they're not getting it And I believe that wholeheartedly Here's another reason why people do feminism But it's not my body my choice And feminism is a movement that's trying to liberate women From oh man you need a man to You know a man's gonna tell you what to do And a man has control over you Look folks he pays the bills You can't have it both ways What do you want? You want the guy to pay all of your bills And then tell him what to do That's not how my marriage works And that's a stupid relationship That's never gonna work And you know what? He's gonna desire a woman that's actually meek Somewhere else or something like that TV and movies they also do this They try to romanticize everything And make it seem different than reality Look TV and movies is a lie I don't know if you needed a reminder about that It's not real And so husbands and wives Sometimes they get disillusioned With Hollywood films And they think that these activities Have to be you know Ten times different than they really are You know It doesn't have to be this romantic novel Where you're in France Watching the Eiffel Tower with fireworks With no children For you to be like oh Now I'm in the mood Sorry folks that's not reality I have five children Yes five children You know how many times we're not around five children? Never And you know Sometimes you just gotta figure out How to make it work with your schedule You gotta figure out ways to be creative You gotta figure out ways to Get in the mood or whatever you need to do But you know Don't have to think that it's gonna be this Sleepless in Seattle movie or something It's not gonna be just this romantic drama Every single time in your house It might be drama but it might not be romantic okay It's fine And you know for honeymooners They don't even understand what I'm talking about right now But eventually you will okay And you need this sermon too You have to realize that it's just reality And I'll say this Married couples I guarantee Are way more fulfilled Way more fulfilled In this area Than the world is You know all these guys that act like they're a big shot And they're just like oh man I could have women whenever I want I guarantee the married men in this room Are doing way better than them You know it's a fools Area to think like Oh outside of marriage it's so much better It's like no it's not it's way worse It's way uglier It costs way more money It's just it's not what you want It's a lie out there Just like I said the billboard Of McDonalds kind of looks good But it does not look like that in real life Okay Sometimes it looks like they dropped it on the ground a few times And it's just like What is this? You know That's not what you want We should as God's people Obey all of the Bible Not just the parts we like And some things you have to understand Some parts of the Bible are obedience You know you have to obey in this area But I'll say this Even though it might seem like oh man I have to do something that I'm not that into God will make it where You actually like this more And you can have You can have the desire for these things And it's going to fix so many problems In your life that you didn't know Were related to that Like there's so many marriage problems That are related to this issue specifically That I'm saying That you don't know Like you're fighting with your spouse because of this issue But you're not bringing up this issue Because you don't know that that's the issue It's like you just have to fix this area of your life And this area of your life Fixes so many other problems It's kind of like Those commercials where there's this person It's like screaming at you Like Joe Pesci is screaming at you And then all of a sudden they're like And they eat a Snickers and they transform back into the person they are And you're like The Joe Pesci character Was mad about something else You didn't even know But the problem was he was just hungry And it's like you may not realize That your wife's mad at you Because you're failing in this area Or you might not realize your husband's mad at you Because you're failing in this area I'll be honest with you It's many times even the guy's fault It's more than you realize If you actually study the Bible It's often Almost always the case Where it's the guy not showing Dude benevolence as opposed to the woman I mean you can think about Leah and Rachel They're fighting over the husband And there's times I'll go to one more verse here Go to Exodus chapter 21 Go to Exodus chapter 21 The Bible even has to give commandment On this issue Because it's something that You know both parties have to Be interested in And participate Exodus 21 look at verse number 10 So it's like commanding this guy To not diminish this from the relationship Why? Because Even men at times Can diminish this from the relationship And it's a necessary Component that needs to be A regular component of marriage And this will keep Healthy marriages in this room You say why preach a sermon on this Pastor Shelley Well you know the expecting ladies list Is getting kind of low No I'm just kidding No I want you guys to have a healthy marriage Because Whether you realize it or not Having a healthy marriage Is really important to serving God And why I say that is I see so many people stop serving God Because of an unhealthy marriage Now they don't come up to me And say hey Pastor Shelley I'm not coming to church Because of an unhealthy marriage But I It's some other reason But then I can identify I can realize It's the unhealthy marriage is the reason why you're having problems They're not coming to church together Because they have marriage problems Or they're not being equally yoked anymore There's sin issues even sometimes That happen And look A Baptist committing adultery You would not be the first It happens way more often Than you would ever want to know And it's frustrating It's disgusting It's filthy There is no excuse for it But I'm telling you there's a way to try And take that off the table As the Bible says I'm not trying to blame the victim here I'm not trying to say if your spouse committed adultery On you it's your fault Because I don't believe that But at the same time You know I don't believe in this doctrine That says that girls that dress like whores And walk through dark alleys to a nightclub Are completely innocent when they get raped It's like Don't dress like a whore And go to the wrong place And then just expect nothing bad to happen That's stupid Is it cool that you got raped? No of course not Let's kill the rapist But at the same time Don't encourage women to do such stupid activities Or to go to nightclubs And just drink whatever liquor is set before them And it's like Oh I got taken advantage of You're a whore And at the same time If you just say hey I'll get married to you And then completely defraud the contract And then your spouse commits adultery Yeah I personally believe you have some fault And some liability there Because the bible says you were wrong You defrauded them Now of course is it right for your spouse to commit adultery on you? Never They should never do that That's super wicked you should be put to death for doing it But at the same time You know You can't just Force someone To not take in the daily Or the weekly And expect them to just live with that You know If my wife says I'm never going to cook a meal again I'm still going to eat You know it's just reality Okay And that's why I even think about this Jesus Christ is saying when someone divorce their spouse They're causing them to commit adultery Now why I bring that verse up is this When you divorce your spouse That's not adultery You know it's adultery when they go and sleep with someone else That's the adultery Why did he say by divorcing them you're causing them to commit adultery Because it would be the same thing As just saying like Hey I'm never feeding you again So you're never allowed to eat It's like by not serving your husband To eat food He's going to eat food from somewhere else Because it's just a reality It's just something that's going to happen People will sin in this issue If they don't have an outlet Notice that in 1 Corinthians 7 it says Nevertheless to avoid fornication It was to avoid sinning You have to have your own wife You have to have your own husband And they have to be showing due benevolence Otherwise you're basically just asking For sin to be in your relationship Sin to be in your marriage And I don't want to excuse it I'm not going to excuse it I'm not going to say oh well you know what You're not doing your part You know I'm going to say hey the guy sinned Or the woman sinned if they go and seek an alternative But I'm also saying this Don't drive them to that alternative Don't give them that option You know try to take it off the table And you know you got married for a reason God gave you it as a blessing And as married couples we should enjoy that Because the world doesn't really enjoy that They're never satisfied with that And the world will never bring you satisfaction in that And as a young woman in this room You better realize If there's one reason That men get married Never ever ever Give it to someone that you're not married to That is the worst thing you can do As a young woman Who is not married The worst thing you can do Is give them away your virginity You need to For your sake I'm not saying for anybody else's sake You for your sake Should never give that away Because think about this If the only reason the guy is going to get married is that And then you give that to him Why will he ever marry you? You want to know why men are not getting married in America? It's because they can get access To that need Without getting married But think about it If every woman was a virgin And refused to give that away until they got married A lot more people would get married Men would not get married They'd be like, I'm getting married But whenever women are whores And harlots And they don't realize the value that they have It causes for marriage to decline The reason why marriage is declining Is because of this issue And we need to teach and educate the young people We need to just drill it in their heads And teach our young daughters this And you know what, the men in this room that have daughters You need to just go ahead and make sure That that's not even a possibility And say, hey, I know why you're interested in my daughter That's why you're going to date me You can marry her, but you're going to date me It's like, I'm not interested in letting you date her You can have fun when you're married But you know what, now It's grill time Where's your DNA sample? I'm going to clean my gun You have to look down the other side of the barrel Just to see how much you trust me I'm serious, though, folks We need to protect our daughters And by protecting your daughters You're protecting the men in this world, too And their future husbands And we need to teach our daughters That there's a time and a place And it's after marriage Let's close in prayer Thank you, Heavenly Father, for giving us such clear instruction Thank you for giving us the institution of marriage I pray that we would be obedient To how you've instructed us to behave in our marriages I pray that you would bless the husbands and the wives in this room That you would encourage them to show due benevolence That they would not defraud their spouse And even if they struggle in this area That you would just help them with the right desires I pray that you would help the marriage issues in this room That you'd help couples to be closer and more intimate today Than they've ever been in their lives And I pray that you would help us to see the importance of this To protect the virginity of our children And that we teach them the right things on this issue So that they aren't defrauded before they get married In Jesus' name we pray, Amen We'll sing our last song 160 Crown Him With Many Crowns Song 160 And 60 Crown Him With Many Crowns Crown Him With Many Crowns The Lamb upon His throne Mark how the heavenly anthem drowns All music but its own Awake my soul and sing Of Him who died for thee Unhail Him as Thy matchless King Through all eternity Crown Him the Lord of love Behold His hands and side Rich wounds yet visible above In beauty glorified No angel in the sky Can fully bear that sight But downward bends His wandering eye At mysteries oh so bright Crown Him the Lord of life Who triumphed o'er the grave Whose rose victorious to the strife For those He came to save His glories now we sing Who died and rose on high Who died eternal life to bring And lives that death may die Crown Him the Lord of heaven One with the Father known One with the Spirit through Him Give from yonder glorious throne To Thee be endless praise For Thou for us has died Be Thou, O Lord, through endless days Adored and magnified God bless and have a good night.