(Disclaimer: This transcript is auto-generated and may contain mistakes.)

comes a signal strain. Tis loyalty, loyalty, loyalty to Christ. Its music rose along the hills. Take up the song of loyalty, loyalty, yes, loyalty to Christ. On to victory, on to victory, cries our great commander on. We'll move at his command. We'll soon possess the land. Through loyalty, loyalty, yes, loyalty to Christ. Oh, hear ye brave the sound that moves the earth around. Tis loyalty, loyalty, loyalty to Christ. Arise to dare and do. Ring out the watch for true. Of loyalty, loyalty, yes, loyalty to Christ. On to victory, on to victory, cries our great commander on. We'll move at his command. We'll soon possess the land. Through loyalty, loyalty, yes, loyalty to Christ. Come join our loyal throng. We'll rout the giant wrong. Tis loyalty, loyalty, yes, loyalty to Christ. Where Satan's banners flow, we'll send a bugle note. Of loyalty, loyalty, yes, loyalty to Christ. On to victory, on to victory, cries our great commander on. We'll move at his command. We'll soon possess the land. Through loyalty, loyalty, yes, loyalty to Christ. The strength of youth we lay at Jesus' feet today. Tis loyalty, loyalty, loyalty to Christ. His gospel we'll proclaim throughout the world's domain. Of loyalty, loyalty, yes, loyalty to Christ. On to victory, on to victory, cries our great commander on. We'll move at his command. We'll soon possess the land. Through loyalty, loyalty, yes, loyalty to Christ. All right, amen. Let's open the service with a word of prayer. Dear Lord, thank you so much for all that are gathered here this evening. Thank you so much for the opportunity to gather together. And we pray for Pastor Shelley's preaching tonight that you would fill in with your Holy Spirit and that we can apply it to our lives. In Jesus' name we pray, amen. Amen. We're going to turn to our white handouts to Psalm 149. Psalm 149. If you don't have a white handout, you can ask one of ushers to give you one. Psalm 149. Or you could turn to your King James Bibles to Psalm 149. Psalm 149. Praise ye the low horse, sing to the low horde a new song, and his praise in the congregation of saints. Let Israel rejoice in him that made him. Let the children of Zion be joyful in their hands. Let them praise his name in the dance. Let them sing praises unto him with the timbrel and harp. For the Lord taketh pleasure in his people. He will beautify the meek with salvation. Let the saints be joyful in glory. Let them sing aloud upon their beds. Let the high praises of God be in their mouth, and the two wedges sword in their hand to execute vengeance upon the heathen, and punishments upon the people to bind their kings with chains, and their nobles with the urns of iron to execute upon them the judgment written, this honor have all his saints. Praise ye the Lord. Thank you so much for coming to Pure, I'm sorry, Steadfast Baptist Church. If you don't have a bulletin, lift your hand nice and high. Also, there is a little handout that I have for the sermon this evening that I'd like everyone to get one, just FYI. So we should have some extras of those. Brother Dylan's walking around. So if you need one, just lift up your hand nice and high, and we'd like to hand you those things. On the inside, we have our service times, our soul-winning times. Continue to pray for expecting ladies in our prayer list. Also on the back, we have upcoming events. We have our last song-leading class, July 31st. We also have our men's conference, August 18th to the 20th. We have the congratulations to Ever and Eve Garcia on the birth of their baby boy, Leo Judah. He was born July 15th, 2022, weighing five pounds and 13 ounces and measuring 21 inches long. So that's definitely exciting. Congratulations to them. And our church just keeps getting bigger one baby at a time. So praise the Lord with that. That's pretty much all I have for announcements. We'll go ahead and go to our third song. 355, 355, 355. What a friend we have in Jesus. What a friend we have in Jesus. All our sins and griefs to bear. What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer. Oh, a peace we often forfeit. Oh, what needless pain we bear. Oh, because we do not carry everything to God in prayer. Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere? We should never be discouraged. Take it to the Lord in prayer. Can we find a friend so faithful? Who will all our sorrows share? Jesus knows our every weakness. Take it to the Lord in prayer. Are we weak and heavy laden, pumbered with a load of care? Precious Savior, still our refuge. Take it to the Lord in prayer. Do thy friends, his spies forsake thee? Take it to the Lord in prayer. In his arms, they'll take and shield thee. Thou will find us soulless there. While the offering plates are passed around, you can turn in your Bibles to Hebrews chapter 13. We'll read the whole chapter, as is our custom, in Hebrews chapter number 13. You can follow along silently, starting at verse number one. In Hebrews chapter 13, the Bible reads, let brotherly love continue. Be not forgetful to entertain strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. Remember them that are in bonds, as bound with them, and them which suffer adversity, as being yourselves also in the body. Marriage is honorable and all, and the bed undefiled, but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Let your conversation be without covetousness, and be content with such things as he have. For he has said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee, so that we may boldly say, the Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me. Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God, whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation. Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, today, and forever. Be not carried about with diverse and strange doctrines, for it is a good thing that the heart be established with grace, not with meats, which have not profited them that have been occupied therein. We have an altar, whereof they have no right to eat which serve the tabernacle, for the bodies of those beasts whose blood is brought into the sanctuary by the high priest for sin, are burned without the camp. Wherefore, Jesus also, that he might sanctify the people with his own blood, suffered without the gate. Let us go forth, therefore, unto him without the camp, bearing his reproach. For here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come. By him, therefore, let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to his name, but to do good and to communicate, forget not, for with such sacrifices, God is well pleased. Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves, for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy and not with grief, for that is unprofitable for you. Pray for us, for we trust we have a good conscience and all things willing to live honestly. But I beseech you the rather to do this, that I may be restored to you the sooner. Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, make you perfect in every good work to do his will, working in you that which is well pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen. And I beseech you, brethren, suffer the word of exhortation, for I have written a letter unto you in few words. Know ye that our brother Timothy is set at liberty, with whom, if he comes shortly, I will see you. Salute all them that have the rule over you, and all the saints, they of Italy, salute you. Grace be with you all, amen. Let's bow our heads for a word of prayer. Brother God, I just pray now that you would just fill Pastor Shelley with your Holy Spirit, and help him to articulate the message. Soften hearts in the room, Lord, so that we can apply this sermon to our lives and make the necessary changes. And I also pray that you would protect us as we go our separate ways after the service. We love you, and in Jesus' name I pray, amen. Amen. So, I wanna look back at verse 17, and the Bible says, obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves, for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief, for that is unprofitable for you. And according to the Bible, there is a structure, when it comes to church, you have certain people that are ruling, certain people that are leadership, and we know this as a pastor, a bishop, an elder, there's other potential leaders within a church, but for our church specifically, we only have a pastor right now. And so, it's my job to try to rule the church. Now, some people don't understand this concept. Some independent fundamental Baptists don't understand this concept. They will believe that this means that they should rule over you like in every area of your life. I don't believe that for one second. I, as a pastor, I believe that it's only my authority and domain, what's happening here, and the events that are sponsored by our church. So, when it comes to telling men and women how they should eat, drink, where they sleep, what goes on in their house, any of these kind of things, I don't believe I have any authority. Also, I don't believe it's my realm of authority to rule over people or to tell them what to do online or social media or whatever. And I think some people get confused about this because they think like, hey, did you see pastor put so-and-so said online? And I'm like, yeah, that was stupid, but I'm not gonna tell them not to do it because that's not my realm of authority. Or they'll say, hey, I know so-and-so did X, Y, and Z, or their kids did X, Y, and Z, or their wife does X, Y, and Z or their husband does X, Y, and Z, or whatever it is. And it's like, that's not for me to rule over. Now, of course, I'm always willing to give my opinion. I'm always willing to help give people advice, to tell them what the Bible says. Of course, when it comes to me preaching the Bible, I'm not gonna hold back on my opinions, on what the Bible says and teaching people. But you, for yourself, have to decide how to behave. You have to decide what's the rules for your house and what you're gonna do, how you're gonna incorporate the Word of God. And in fact, sometimes there's just even gonna be legitimate differences of opinion. But when it comes to church, it's for the pastor to literally rule, in a sense that it's his responsibility to make sure everything goes right and according to the Word of God. Now, go up to I Timothy chapter three, I Timothy chapter three. I'm just kind of building a context here. I Timothy chapter three, verse 15, the Bible says, but if I tarry long, that thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the house of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and ground of the truth. According to the Bible, we're supposed to behave in church. And specifically, a lot of these rules that are given in I Timothy are for the pastor to realize how to rule in church, how to lead in church, how to enforce behavior in church. And of course, I Timothy chapter three is mostly about the pastors and the deacons and who's supposed to be in charge. But just generally speaking, it's the pastors that are supposed to monitor the behavior and regulate the behavior in church. It's for their decision-making. Go if you would to Matthew chapter number 16, Matthew chapter number 16. Here's another thing. The Bible is not gonna spell everything out 100%. God gives us certain boundaries, certain expectations, and then allows us the free will to do it as we please. You know, it makes me think of stories like Jehu. God's telling Jehu, hey, you need to slay all the house of Ahab. He didn't tell him how to do that. That was for him to figure out how to get the job done. Now, the method in which he took that instruction and implemented it was his free will. But when he was done doing it, God was pleased because he got the job done. It wasn't so much exactly, hey, here's how you take the bow and here's how you pull it back and you gotta shoot him right in the heart and hey, you gotta ask all these other men to slay all the brethren and stack all the heads in two piles, whatever. That was Jehu's decision, okay? And when it comes to church, God gives us certain boundaries, certain guidelines, certain expectations, and the pastor is supposed to stay within those. You know, it's not for him to decide to go outside of God's word. You know, the ultimate shepherd of this church is Jesus Christ. The ultimate ruler is this. But then, from a practical perspective, God appoints men and appoints leaders within the boundaries of his word to then make their own decisions, their own rules, their own suggestions, and we even see this principle doled out in Matthew chapter number 16. Look what it says in verse 19. And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Notice Jesus Christ is giving authority to Peter and specifically about the church and he's saying, hey, whatever you guys decide is a rule, it's a rule up here. And whatever you guys decide to be loose about, it's loose down there. He's basically just saying carte blanche, you get to do what you think is right within the boundaries of the Bible, within the boundaries of God's word. Go back to 1 Timothy, 1 Timothy chapter number four. When it comes to this church, and personally I believe any church, we are all to submit to the Bible period. But then beyond that, whatever the pastors say, whatever the leadership says, is how it should go. And you should follow that leadership, you should follow that rule as if it were in the Bible. Just like a husband giving rules unto his wife, as long as it's in the boundaries of the Bible, it should be viewed as a commandment from God. Just like you children, your instructions given you by your mom and your dad, as long as it's within the Bible, you should look at it as a commandment from God, okay? Now look at 1 Timothy chapter number four and verse 12. The Bible says, let no man despise thy youth, but be thou an example of the believers and word and conversation and charity and spirit and faith and purity. So a pastor, a leader, is also supposed to be an example unto the congregation of how to live. Now, here's where I wanna make a divide though. There are gonna be certain things that I preach, teach, and try to model that many people in this room are not gonna do, and I'm never gonna force you to do it. And sometimes it's gonna be for a couple reasons. Number one, it's gonna be because they're backslidden, lazy, apathetic, or bad, one of those categories. Or a second reason is it's my personal preference and you have a different preference, okay? My preference is I don't like coffee. Some people in here are gonna drink coffee, okay? Why? That's not really a biblical thing, is it? That's just a preference, right? My preference is that ranch dressing would cease to exist. Some people are gonna have ranch dressing, right, okay? But there's also other things that are gonna be based on biblical principles and ideas, like reading the Bible everyday. I'm gonna try and tell people, hey, read the Bible everyday. There's gonna be people in this room that don't ever read the Bible. They barely read the Bible, okay? I'm not gonna come to your house and knock on the door and say, did you read the Bible this morning? And if you say no, sit down and open it up. Read it. I'm not gonna do that, okay? And I think some people get this disconnect. They think that if the pastor preaches it, the people do it. That is not true. I find myself scratching my head all the time thinking, like, did they not hear the sermon? You know? How do they still believe that? How do they still do that? Or why don't they agree, you know? And as long as it's not a biblical issue, I will not force my hand, okay? If it's not a 1 Corinthians 5 lifestyle issue, you can do whatever you want. And in fact, you can still commit all the sins on 1 Corinthians 5, and I'm not gonna do anything about it unless you try to come to church. And then me as the leader, I have to deal with that, okay? But at the end of the day, you have a lot of free will. And there's some things in the Bible that are convictions, and there's some things that are preferences. A conviction is, here's a Bible verse, and this is exactly what you should do. It's right, there's no questioning if it's wrong. Then there's things called preferences. This is where you decide for yourself exactly how you're gonna implement that. So I'll give you an example. The Bible teaches that nakedness is exposing from the loins unto the knee, basically the thigh, that region. Well, you may decide that for your family, you wanna make sure all the clothing in your entire family goes all the way down to the ankles, just to be careful, just to make sure that that never gets exposed, whereas someone else might go all the way up to the knee. Well, that's a preference. That's not a biblical issue. Now, if someone's coming in here dressed where they're not covering that part of their body, that's something where we say, hey, you need to cover that up, or that may be inappropriate, we don't like that, whereas if my preference is the ankle, I'm not gonna tell people that are having clothing down to the knee, get out of here, that's not okay, or whatever. Does that make sense? But I'll say this, if I went to a church and the pastor said, I don't want anybody dressing with clothing that's not coming down to the ankle, I would do that, not because it's my preference, not because I agree, because that's what he's saying. Now, maybe I don't wanna go to that church, but I'm just saying, that's what I would do. Now, me as your pastor, I pretty much try to never have rules like this. And I wanna make it clear, the sermon that I'm preaching tonight is called pastor's preferences. It is not called pastor's rules. Okay, does everybody understand what I'm saying? Some things I have as a rule, I'll give you an example of a rule. I have a rule that someone that's gonna be behind my pulpit, reading, preaching, teaching, song leading, has to wear a button-up shirt and a tie. That's a rule. But most everything else that I have is usually just a preference or what I personally like, okay? And I have a handout because I didn't wanna just preach and you just were thinking about football or eating. Like, I wrote it down for you so you didn't have to, okay? But I want you to pay attention. Now, I have some preferences I wanna teach you this evening. Let me make it clear, I'm not gonna go to a Bible verse on every single one of these. And a lot of these are related to family, having children, things like that. So if you don't have children, of course it doesn't directly apply yet, but it's just something to keep in mind, okay? Also, I am not preaching this sermon to be your friend, okay? It's pastor's preferences. So if you're offended, then you're paying attention. Okay, that's the goal of the sermon. I hope we understand each other, okay? I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but I will tell you what I wish you would do. Does that make sense? Everybody get what I'm saying? I just don't want you to walk out and then think like, ah, so now I have to do X, Y, and Z? Well, you better, no, I'm just kidding. You don't have to, but there's a lot of, you know, why wouldn't you, right? Okay, go to 1 Timothy 4 and look at verse 13, all right? You're already pretty much there. Till I come, give attendance to readings, exhortation to doctrine, all right? Here's number one preference I have is that in the church service, you follow along in your Bible. Now, it's really hard to follow along with the preaching if you don't even have a Bible. And here's the people that should not have a Bible, people that are too young to even hold a Bible. I mean, if my child who cannot read can hold a Bible, I still give them a Bible. All of my children that can read have a Bible. My wife who can read, because we don't live in Islam land, okay, she has a Bible. I have a Bible. Hey, I have a Bible with me. We're in a church. We're here to worship God. Get a Bible. We have free Bibles. Now, I've been to other churches, and every time they're like, if you need a Bible, raise your hand. I don't want to have to get there. And I'm not gonna force you. I'm not gonna be like, hey, where's your Bible? But that's my preference. You'd have a Bible. You would look at it. You'd pay attention. Look, and even the ladies, they can have a Bible. Here's a tip. You know, if you have to hold a kid, get a smaller Bible that's handheld that you can kind of flip through, open, look at it. But I will never agree with not having a Bible in church. Like, you should just have a Bible. Now, whether you like to take notes or things like that is not as important to me as you having the Bible and looking at the verses, reading the verses. There's just something that happens in the learning process when you look at the Bible, when you look at the words, when you read the words. Maybe I'm different than some people, but like, I don't get things when I just hear them. But when I see them, it's like way different. It's like I really learn it. It sticks. It really resonates. So I'm just telling you from a learning experience, I mean, look what the Bible said, give a 10 inch to reading. In fact, I would argue that this is a commandment for me to tell you, but it's a preference in the sense that I'm not gonna literally walk up and down the aisles while I'm preaching and be like, where's your Bible? But you should have a Bible. Y'all okay? That was point one, all right? Point two, okay? It's the Lord's house, not yours. And let me, you say, what does that mean? Everything you could think of. If I came to your house, I'm not gonna just take my shoes off and throw them and put my feet up on all the furniture and just start helping myself to everything. And you know, it's crazy. People show up to church and it's like, they just think like everything's theirs. Like I'm gonna touch the thermostat and I'm gonna go ahead and just, I'm gonna look in every cabinet and I'm just gonna do it. And look, sometimes people are just trying to be helpful and I get that, but at the same time, if it was not my house, if I come to your house, I'm not gonna start touching your thermostat, I'm not gonna start looking through your cabinets, I'm not gonna start rearranging the furniture, I'm not gonna start going around and just making my own decisions about your, it's your house, right? And this is God's house. How much more respectful should we be about God's house? And asking permission to do things or not doing things. It's not, again, yours or mine personally, it's the Lord's house and we wanna make sure everything's done purposely, done well. You know, if I visit another church, I don't go in there and start rearranging the chairs. You know, when I walk in a very Baptist church for the Red Hot Preaching Conference, I enjoy. I don't tinker, I didn't change any of the rows, I never looked at the thermostat, I never looked through their cabinets, I never took anything that wasn't offered me. Why, because I'm just not trying to just say like, oh, I live here now, I feel like a guest. And you know what, we should feel like we're guests in the Lord's house every time we're here. Now of course, I look at this church as being my church, it's our church, I love the possession of thinking it's mine, and it is. But at the same time, it's the Lord's, and we wanna make sure that we're not treating with disrespect, we're not doing things that we wouldn't even do in our own house. You know, letting kids run around in the furniture, having, you know, some people literally won't let their kids eat or drink in the living room. But they'll let them do whatever they want in the sanctuary. Why, because it's not theirs. But you should treat it with more respect in your house. Maybe you have no rules in your house, I don't know. But this one, you should have extra care, extra caution, making sure you're treating it with respect. Here's another thing, how many of y'all just leave water bottles, trash, and crumbs all over your house? What? Why isn't everybody raising their hand? Then why, who is it that's always leaving water bottles and trash and crumbs everywhere? Someone's doing it. And it's not one person, it's a lot of people. I mean, what, how ridiculous is it? I mean, what if I came to your house and I just opened a trash bag of trash in your living room and then left? But I kid you not, come look at the church after the church service. It looks like people just, a whirlwind of trash just like went everywhere and everything's just like disheveled and you're thinking like, what protest went through the middle of our church? That doesn't make sense to, like you should make the area better than it was before, not way worse. Again, this is the philosophy of thinking to someone else's house or someone else who didn't clean up, I don't know. But I'm just being honest with you, it doesn't make sense. How many of y'all just let your kids just get a ton of water bottles and not drink them and just leave them everywhere? It's frustrating, because it's like if it's free, it's just like waste it all, but at your house, you actually treat things with care or respect. And I don't know what your house looks like, I'm expecting it to be clean, okay? But it doesn't make sense to just come to church and just treat it like trash because everything's free. Treat it like trash because someone else cleans up after you, treat it disrespectfully because you've never had to worry about it. You know, we should be as respectful to church as, I mean, if you're gonna be respectful anywhere, do it at church, if you're gonna clean up after yourself anywhere, let it be church. You know, don't, I mean, I think some people in this room clean up better at the restaurant than they do at church. Why do you wanna clean up at Chick-fil-A better than at church? It doesn't make sense. And of course, these are good rules, even if you're visiting another person's house, when it's not yours, treat it with respect. And here's another, you say, well, how do I learn how to do that? Treat your own house with respect. Honestly, what happens, I guarantee a lot of men in this room, they probably don't ever clean up after themselves because their wife always does. So they're in a really bad, and their children never clean up after themselves because the mom always does. So they're in this habit of never cleaning up after themselves so that when they're at church, it's no different for any of them. But then the women, obviously it's not their job to just all clean the church. So then it just basically turns into no one's doing anything about the church. You say, how do I fix that? Just learn how to clean up after yourself in all places. Don't be a disrespectful person. Point three, okay. Don't go to the bathroom during service. Now, I'm trying to get through some of these at the very beginning so you don't get like really embarrassed, but here's the thing. Obviously I'm not saying if you have to go, don't go. Okay, if you have to go, go. But some people, it just seems like there was an opportunity to take care of business before service, and they don't. So they're like, well now that I'm sitting here with nothing to do, I might as well go to the bathroom. Well, that's because you didn't have a Bible in hand. Look, I've used the bathroom during service, so I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but you should do your best to not be leaving and getting up during church. You know, you should be bunkered down, settled down, not moving around. I mean, it's incredible to me how I never use the bathroom during church service, but everyone else has to. I'm thinking like, what do y'all, and I mean, I'm up here, I'm drinking water. How is it that I, I mean, how many of y'all see me use the bathroom during a sermon? It's possible. You know, it's reasonable. Now okay, obviously maybe you're older or you have an issue, you got children. I get it, okay, I have children. But I'm just saying, that's something that is a preference to me, that you would just really, really not use the bathroom. Obviously if you're pregnant, go for it, okay? I've never been pregnant. If you're potty training your toddler, we don't wanna have to clean that up either, okay? So obviously there's exceptions to every preference. I'm just saying, try your best to take care of business before the Lord's business. Point four, don't talk to trolls and protesters. Look, I've said that probably a hundred times. And the reason why I've said it a hundred times is because people just don't do it. And I'm gonna have to constantly say it. But I'm just saying, just, it never benefits anything. I've never had someone come up to me and they're like, did you hear the zinger I gave them? And I'm thinking like, well, I'm glad you got it in. I've never seen someone online talking to a troll and thought like, you really got that troll. I'm always thinking like, well, that was stupid. Or I'm thinking like, are you not smart enough to realize this person's a troll? That's what I usually think. Because I'm thinking I've already said not to talk to a troll, so the only reason you would talk to this person is if you don't think they're a troll, but they're such an obvious troll. And then I'm like, oh yeah, it's just because you wanna talk to trolls. That is a waste of your life, talking to trolls. I mean, it's literally the dumbest thing. And so, you know, I don't wanna talk to them. You shouldn't talk to them. It makes no sense. When someone comments on my YouTube channel and I identify them as a troll, I just delete them. Hide from channel, get rid of. But I don't control your Facebook. I don't control your social life. I don't control these things. That's for you to get trolled, okay? Number five, RSVP to church events and attend the church event that you RSVP to. Now, I don't know why, like, the new IFB is awesome, and our church is awesome, and I love you guys, but if I were to be honest, y'all suck at RSVPing. Like, I don't know why, but like, y'all are like the worst at this. And I'm just, it's kind of embarrassing because people ask about events and be like, how many people are coming? I have no idea, because three people signed up. And it's like, well, how many showed up? 67. And then it's like, or another event, it's like, how many people are coming? 100 people signed up. How many people showed up? 40. And it's just like, I'm just thinking like, how is that a reality? I get that it's never gonna be perfect, but why can't it even be kind of close? Like, it just, it's like, and you know, you have the bullets, and you're like, sign up. Sign up for the event. Everybody, you know, there's a sign-up sheet. Pay attention. And then it's just like, not gonna do it. I don't care. Break your word, whatever the excuse is, I don't know. But it's just, it's really frustrating. And it's not just church, it's everything. You know, if a friend invites you over, RSVP. If you RSVP, show up. You know, if your work has some, I mean, how many times does your boss say, hey, I have a meeting. I need to know if you're gonna come. And you don't tell him, and you don't show up. Why is church getting more disrespect than your work? You know, or, what if you made an appointment, what if you said, hey, honey, I'm gonna take you on a date on Friday night at six, and then not show up. None of y'all are that stupid, that are married. But then it's like, you know, church, it's like, who cares? But here's the problem that y'all don't understand. When I have 100 people for an event that I have to have food, I have to order it beforehand. When I, I've had events like the men's conference, specifically, I have to pay all of that upfront way in advance, and it costs hundreds of dollars per person. And I've had it where literally dozens signed up and then didn't come. So what's dozens times hundreds of dollars? Thousands of dollars. That's annoying. And it's just like, but when it's free, who cares? But I guarantee, if it costs you hundreds of dollars, you wouldn't do that. But it's fine if God's footing the bill, right? It's fine if you say, hey, God, will you pay for me to do this so I can not show up? It just doesn't, I'm just being honest, okay? I'm gonna move on. Number six, don't have TVs in the house. This is, again, preference. I've been to people's houses and they had a TV. And I'll tell you what I did not do. I didn't rip it off the wall and break it, okay? And honestly, there's nothing, there's not a difference between a TV and a computer. So really what I mean by this is like TV service. Okay, cable, satellite TV, Netflix, these type of things. Because here's the reality. If you have it, you'll watch it. If you don't have it, you won't watch it. And the temptation's just too high. It's like if you're on a diet, get rid of the M&M's. Sorry, that's for me, okay? You know, you just can't necessarily have enough self-control. And so I just think it's best to just not have it in your life. And let's be real, who runs the TV, Jacob? It's the Jews, yeah. Why do I need to let the Jews tell me what to do and where to look and what to watch? I mean, look, obviously some people have a TV in their house because they like to watch the sermons or a particular film or something every once in a while. I'm not against you. I'm just saying if I were you, I'd get rid of any kind of TV service, you know? And if you have it, I'm not gonna condemn you. I'm not gonna rip it off the wall. I'm not gonna come hate on you. I'm just telling you my preference. TV's too convenient to watch trash and also your children will think TV's really important. Because let's be real, where is the TV in most households? It's the center of the household. And I've grown up in families where the TV is the center of the household. Every meal is centered around TV. Every fellowship event is centered around TV. I mean, you have the whole family come over for Thanksgiving to watch TV. It's like, why wouldn't we, you know, it used to be all the chairs were in a circle and you'd talk to each other and you'd hang out. Now it's just a semi-circle around TV. It's just not, it's not the best way to live your life. Number seven, men should have a job that requires a skill. I'm just helping you out. If someone can do your job in a few weeks of training, it's because you have a skill-less job. Facts. And honestly, it puts you in a dangerous position in the workforce. Now, could you potentially have a skill-less job and be happy and serve God for the rest of your life? Yes, you can. I'm just saying, from my preferences, I would prefer you have a skill and teach your children to get a skilled job. And I say that because I have people come to me and they have problems, and you know why they have problems? Because they don't make enough money and they don't have a skilled job. And the people that make good money always have a skill. And they're highly skilled. Number eight. Husbands should make sure their wife goes soul-winning. That's pretty self-explanatory. I mean, look, if your wife doesn't want to go soul-winning, that might be natural, but then you make her go soul-winning. Now, sometimes it's really hard for her to go soul-winning, so then you make it easier on her by saying, I'm gonna watch the kids, or I'll rearrange my schedule, or I'll be inconvenienced so that you can go soul-winning. Of course, if your wife is highly pregnant and it's July in Texas and it feels like the surface of the sun outside, okay, I'm not gonna force my wife to go soul-winning. That's silly, right? But you should make every effort to encourage your wife to go out there and preach the gospel, and maybe that'll just help your wife like church more. And maybe she'll like you more. She'll go around a bunch of losers that are idiots and realize how great and smart you are. And she'll see how all these derelicts and all these weirdos and be like, my husband's a stud. She hasn't seen what's going on in the world, right? Just help giving you advice, all right? Number nine, make sure your wife knows how to drive. And you say, what do you mean, Pastor Shelley? If she doesn't know how to drive, teach her. This is a weird point for me, but I just know it's reality, okay? Because I thought everybody could drive, but some people can't, and I'm just like, if my wife didn't know how to drive, I'm gonna teach her how to drive day one. You know, here's an extra bonus point that's not in here, but it's the same way, I've said like, if your spouse speaks a different language, learn that language, right? You're there to better each other, and you know what, my wife being able to drive helps me immensely. Now, you know, we can argue who's the better driver, but I'll say this, my wife is a safer driver than I am, okay? But I am better, all right? If I want to be. Hey, everybody could tell G.U. by his driving, okay? When he wants to get somewhere, he gets there. Someone's gotta give these guardian angels a job, you know what I mean? Number 10, sit as a family at church, don't let your children sit with another family. Again, another preference, I will never enforce this, I will never tell you what to do, I'm telling you what I would prefer. And I went to church, I got to sit with my friends, and every time I sat with my friends, I didn't pay attention to the church. And it makes more sense for your children to sit by you, here's another thing, they don't behave as well when they're not sitting next to you. They don't pay attention as well when they're not sitting near you. They're not focused as much, plus, I'll tell you something, kids like other kids, and kids like to play, and kids like to touch each other, and elbow each other, and lean on each other, and whisper to each other. Have you ever heard of public school? And you know how I know that's true, because you and I both went to school, and we all did it. And they like to play with their cars, and even if they don't have one, they just... And then they'll drive on their necks, and they'll be like... But when you're sitting next to dad and mom, you just don't do that as much, okay? Giving you my preferences. Which number am I on? 11, bring your family to church with you for every service. This should be pretty self-explanatory, but again, sometimes it doesn't happen. And it's more important to me that all of my family is at church than any other factor. How early I am to church, how late I am to church, or how inconvenient it is, or how difficult it is. I mean, there's been times where I've had to do major inconveniences to make sure my whole family gets to church, but I'd rather do that than not have them in church. I feel awkward when my wife isn't in church. I love it when she's here. I love it when my children are here. Of course it happens if they're sick, we get that, right? But if I have to drive double the distance to get my spouse, because I didn't teach her how to drive, then I'll bring her to church. I'll go pick her up, you know, or I'll find a way. If there's a will, there's a way. But you know what, my family is gonna be in church, and it's my responsibility as the man to get them in church. Point number 12, the mother should take care of all the children during the sermon. Now, I do wanna make this clear. I am not saying that the husband can't help, but at whatever point the husband is not able to focus on the sermon, the wife should do everything in her power to take care of that responsibility herself. And go over to 1 Corinthians chapter 14. Go to 1 Corinthians chapter 14. You know, praise God that my wife, you know, is willing to take care of all the children. And here's the thing. My wife literally takes care of all of our children during every sermon that I preach, and I never have to take care of the children. I don't know if you realize that. I mean, how many of y'all noticed me taking care of my children? It was a sermon where I held one of my children in the whole service, okay? Maybe some of you were there. That was an exception. But how is it possible for my wife to take care of five children, including a baby, by herself, and other people can't? I'm just saying, I believe you can. It's possible. Now, of course, when I get to sit with my wife, a lot of times I hold a toddler, I hold the baby. I do some of those things to help assist. But at the point that the child's fussy, not paying attention, needs to be dealt with, he deals with it. And it's the help so that I can pay attention in the service. Now, not everything's equal. I'm not saying that this is fair. I'm not saying this is equal, but I do believe it's right. And look at 1 Corinthians 14, verse 34. Let your women keep silence in the churches, for it is not permitted on them to speak, but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also sayeth the law. And if they will learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home, for it is a shame for women to speak in the church. Now, here's the thing. If women wanna know anything, their primary go-to is the husband. But how is a wife gonna ask her husband what he thinks about the sermon when he wasn't able to listen to the sermon? Hey, I wanna know, do you agree with this point I don't know the kids were screaming and I couldn't pay attention. Well, then how is she gonna learn? How is she gonna know? You know what? The husband should be able to focus in on the sermon virtually 100%. You know, and if he's not, he should be. And you know what? Shame on you if your wife is doing this and then you're still not paying attention. You should be paying attention, you know. How unfair is it for you to just check out when you should be focusing, studying the Bible, making sure, and then assisting with your wife? Look, I'm all for helping my wife, assisting with my wife's duties, but not during the church service. I don't do it. I don't help at all. I am a zero help. I don't do anything to help her. But she gets it done. And praise God for her. Praise the Lord that she can take care of my children and she does a great job at it. And if she can do it, I know other ladies can do it as well. Point 13, children should not be allowed to interrupt the church service. Kinda goes with this point. Look, if your kid's yelling or screaming, they should be immediately dealt with. Immediately taken out of the service. Immediately, you know, and I have not that I can remember ever got onto someone in the service, but there has been a few times where the doctor's been really close. And this is, I try to be gracious about it, but here's my determining factor. Is the parent trying to solve the problem? If the kid's screaming and the parent's trying to fix it, I try to just let that happen. But if I ever notice a parent who's letting their kid scream and not fixing the problem, or not trying to fix the problem, I may call you out. Just give me a fair warning. Not because I hate you, not because I dislike you, I just want other people to pay attention to the service. And when kids are screaming, I notice every, and then it feels like the point I'm making doesn't even matter. Or, you know, and it happens. And sometimes, I even, I'm like trying to think, and it's hard to think. But I want children in the service. And if we have children in the service, they're gonna cry. They're gonna scream, I'm fine. But just deal with it. And here's my rule of thumb. If my kids scream or cry, I spank them. What's the one reason why you don't wanna spank them because you don't want them to cry? They've already proven that they failed there, so they get a spanking for it. And you say, well, how come your kids don't scream and cry all the time? Because they get a spanking every time they scream and cry. I mean, my wife can sometimes physically discipline our children in the service and they never cry. Because they know if they cry, they're gonna get it worse. And the worst thing you can do as a parent is not spank your children every time they cry. If you're like, man, my kids just cry and scream all the time and it's so frustrating, well, are you rewarding that bad behavior? You should be deterring that bad behavior every single time. Kinda goes with a later point that I have, but look at verse number 14. Don't give toys or snacks at church. That's a Band-Aid. Now, if you're at a conference or something or it's a long day, I get it, but I'm just saying, it's not really instructing them. The best thing is 15. Spank your children consistently and appropriately. And I do it at church, I do it at home, we do it everywhere. They have the same rules, the same situation everywhere. They don't have one set of rules at home and one set of rules at church. Same rules, they have to obey, and we have to spank them regularly. You know, the Bible says, he that spared his rod hateth his son. Verse, or Preference 16. Don't allow your children to tattle to another adult. If your children see something bad, don't have them go and tell a parent, tell you first, and then you decide if it's worthy of telling that other parent. Kids love to tattle on each other for the dumbest things. And it's awkward for me, as not your parent, as not your kid's parent, for them, when they tattle to me, to know how to respond to that. Because I know how to respond to my children when they tattle, they get in trouble. But I don't discipline your children. So you know, the best policy is for your kids to always go to you, and then you can deal with the situation, okay? Sometimes kids also, they don't even know what they're talking about. My kids included. Preference 17, observe how your children interact with other children. This is just, in general, obviously we should watch our kids. But sometimes you need to pay attention to their social interactions. Because sometimes your kids can be mean. Sometimes they can be rude. Sometimes they can be selfish. Sometimes they hit. And it seems like the parents who are never just watching their kids play are the ones who are most guilty of it. If you constantly are looking and noticing, you'll pick up your kids, they'll do dumb stuff in front of you. And then you can kind of realize like, I need to start correcting that. I need to start telling them no. If you're not watching your kids ever, sometimes your kids will be really poorly behaved. Why? Because foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. Kids are bad. You say, which kids? All of them. Which kids are mean? All of them. Which kids are selfish? All of them. Which kids break the rules? All of them. So it's good for you to constantly kind of be watching them, noticing when they do something bad, getting onto them, correcting them, taking them aside. And look, it doesn't have to be a public affair. You could just say, hey, come here. And then you deal with the situation and then let them go back and play. Say, hey, we're gonna share toys. We're not gonna yell. We're not gonna hit. We're not gonna talk like that. We're not gonna use those words, okay? Yes, I do censor my children, okay. And it's just a good thing to observe them. 18, don't always assume your child is guiltless. This is frustrating. I've met parents where they think their kid does not have foolishness bound in their heart. Usually, it's the kid that has the most foolishness bound in his heart. And you're just like, really? Yeah. Here's another thing. If everyone kind of doesn't like your kid or if all the other kids doesn't like your kid, it's probably because your kid is annoying. Not because everybody just hates you. It's like, oh, everybody just hates you. It's like, oh, everybody thinks that my kid's the worst. Is he the worst? You know, it's like, oh, everybody's just out to get me. No one's out to get you. This church is one of the nicest church I've ever been in with some of the most welcoming people and gracious people. If everybody has a problem with you, it's you. Okay? And I'm just trying to help you realize sorry, you know, I am trying to offend some people, okay? Hey, is this sermon for me? Yes. I'm already answering your question, okay? 19, go all in on breastfeeding. Now, go ahead to 1 Timothy, chapter five. 1 Timothy, chapter five. I am not the world's expert on breastfeeding. I get that. But my wife has breastfed several of our children. I've learned a lot of this through her and through studying. It seems like for breastfeeding to work, you have to do the whole program, just like everything. You know, a church, we don't just do half of what the Bible says. We try to do all of what the Bible says. We don't just preach the nice parts of the Bible. We preach Leviticus 2013. And in any area of life, you're only gonna truly have success when you do everything. And so, if you think about it logically, throughout history, women had no option but breastfeeding. So, they went all in on it. But now, there's so many modern inventions and technologies that afford for women not do breastfeeding by force, and sometimes it causes them problems. We have a lot of pregnant ladies in our church. We have a lot of ladies that just had a child. And this tends to be a pretty common thing. So, you know, in the Bible, it teaches this principle of not doing anything by partiality. Look at verse 21. I charged thee before God and the Lord Jesus Christ and elect angels, that thou observe these things without preferring one before another, doing nothing by partiality. Underline that, doing nothing by partiality. That doesn't mean some things, nothing. Do everything 100%. And if you actually want success in an area, don't do it partially, okay? I'm not gonna force you to do anything. This is not a rule, preference. My preference is that every lady in our church would go 100% all in on breastfeeding. What does that mean? Don't use a cover. Breastfeed on demand, no binkies, no bottles. Do contact naps, meaning that the child sleeps on you. Adult, I mean, you say, why? Look, your body responds to everything. And if the baby's like on you, your body's gonna respond to that heat, to that feeling. Let you be the pacifier for the baby. Nurse them to sleep. Don't have them cry themselves to sleep. And bed share. So you say, well, that sounds inconvenient. It is. And I'll say this, going all in on breastfeeding can be difficult, but it has its benefits and its blessings. Doing it partially has its consequences. And if you want to reap the benefits of breastfeeding, like the LAM method, having your children spaced out better, like your children being really healthy and well-nourished, you gotta go all in. And look, it's not, look, there are some people that were never breastfed in outs and they're sitting in this room, okay? And you know, I'm not saying that you're a lesser person, but if I found that out, I might joke with you. Like, oh, that's because you're not breastfed. Now, I praise God, my mom breastfed me, okay? And I'm all for it. And one of my children was not fully breastfed. And we, no, no, I'm just kidding. And it doesn't mean that you can't be smart. It doesn't mean you can't be well-developed later. But anybody that's, I've seen both sides of the coin. The diapers are way different. Their weight's way different. The gastrointestinal problems are way different. In fact, there's a lot of studies even that their jaw development and their teeth will develop different based on breastfeeding alone, okay? But I'm just, I'm an advocate. The Bible teaches that it's a blessing. I'm all for it. That's my preference, okay? Number 20, don't do sleepovers. Don't. 21, don't let your teenagers be alone with the opposite gender. Don't let them do it. And I'm preaching this now when we have not as many teenagers. We're gonna one day have a lot of teenagers. Don't do it. 22, your children are not just a babysitter or a servant. Now, there's nothing wrong with using your children to babysit everyone's smile. But that should not be their job. I've seen, not at this church, I've known kids that they work like eight hours a day babysitting. Like, it's like their full-time job. And you can tell they resent it because it's not their job to raise their siblings. It's the parents' job. Now, there's nothing wrong with your children helping the other children, doing their chores, assisting them, I'm all for that, okay? We do that. I make Clayton do all kinds of stuff for his brothers and sisters. But what he doesn't have to do is parent them. What he doesn't have to do is babysit them all the time. And it's unhealthy for everyone. Don't do it. I'll elaborate. I never let my children spank each other. And honestly, probably never. I mean, maybe if it was like my children are like 20 years old and it's like a baby and they were babysitting them or something like that, or a toddler, I can kinda see that scenario. You know what I'm not gonna do? I'm not gonna let my 13-year-old spank my seven-year-old. That is just an egregious shifting of power and it's gonna change all kinds of dynamics. And I've seen it. There are people that used to do it, they used to go to this church, and you can see the fruit of it, and it's gross. I'm not trying to be mean, just telling you, I don't like it. 23, don't encourage young people to start dating. Young people, I would say, like your kids and the teenagers. I'm not gonna encourage my kids to start dating and I don't want you to encourage my kids to start dating and I don't wanna encourage the other kids in the room to start dating. And don't do things like, oh, this kid likes this kid and they should get married and blah, blah, blah. Just let them be kids. Don't be Disney Channel. Every Disney movie is just trying to teach every kid about getting married at age five, and six, and seven, and eight, and nine. I remember, and look, it affected me. I remember being a little kid and all I could think about was who I was gonna marry. It was stupid. I mean, I was obsessed with it and it was dumb and every girl that I liked when I was a kid turned out to be a whore. So I was like, you know, go figure. That was bad. And you know what, kids change and evolve and it's hard to unlike someone. When you go down the wrong road and you start getting really strong feelings towards someone, it's hard to reverse that. So it's better to just not do it because sometimes you get really strong feelings for the wrong person and it's best to wait until you've gotten to the point where dating's appropriate, it makes sense so that you're not gonna end up forming really close bonds with someone that you don't wanna really marry. I went to public school and I kid you not, tons of the teenagers got pregnant out of wedlock. Tons of the kids got married right out of high school and then they got divorced right out of high school. You know, these little cutesy flings don't ever seem to work out. I don't wanna push that on my children. Number 24, don't give your child a cell phone before it's necessary or really internet. And supervise all of that. You know, necessary, they're driving, they got a job, whatever, something that's absolute necessity. 25, don't let your kids work at jobs where they're primarily around other teenagers. I heard this from someone else and I think it's a great tip. I don't want my kids to just go their whole life being in here with these type of kids and then go work at Subway and make sandwiches for sodomites while hanging out with some blue-haired freak. I don't want them to go work at Starbucks and be around. And think about it, where are most of the sodomites and derelict teenagers working at all these fast food restaurants and all these low-income jobs? You know, I'd rather my kids find a job that's around adults if possible, you know, just tip, right? 26, don't need to be told twice. You know what, if the pastor tells you to do something, please don't make me tell you again. And it's a lot of things. And it's gonna happen, but just learn how to just do stuff right the first time. Take notes if you have to, sear it in your brain, think, pastor's gonna preach against me if I don't. Whatever motivates you, okay? 27, keep your word. Go if you would to Philippians two as the last place of return. You know, the Bible says, he that swereth his own hurt and changeth not. You sign up for the event, you show up for the event. You say you're gonna help with something, you help with something. Say you're gonna do something, you do it. Keep your word. And here's the last point I have, okay? Think of others. Now, honestly, if you just get this one right, you'd get everything right. Why is it that we all are bad at times? Because we're selfish. Most every one of these problems is really just related to selfishness. You know, if you thought more about your kids, you'd be less selfish as a parent, you'd do more for your kids. I mean, which one of these lists, I mean, is really not even directly related to selfishness? Why are you not having a Bible? Well, that's too hard or difficult, you know. Why are you leaving crap around the Lord's house? Because you're selfish and you don't wanna clean up. You know, whatever it is. A lot of these are just pure selfishness, signing up for things, not coming, you know, not enforcing rules on your own family, not sacrificing for your family, not disciplining your family, not, you know, taking care of the kids appropriately. It's all like selfishness. Well, look what the Bible says in Philippians chapter two, verse four. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let us have the mind of Christ, which is one of the exact opposite of selfishness, where we're constantly thinking about our spouse, we're thinking about our children, we're thinking about our church, we're thinking about our friends, we're thinking about everyone else and all of their issues and all of their things, and we're trying to be a blessing and a help unto them. The worst people to be around are the selfish people. You know what, I love this church, and I think that you guys are great, but obviously we can always improve. And I wanna go to a church that is not selfish at all. And I think if all of us really strive to think less about ourselves and to think more about others and how we wanna serve others and do good unto others, a lot of these things wouldn't even have to be a bulleted list. We would just do them automatically. We'd clean up of ourselves, we'd take care of our kids, we would sacrifice as parents to do better for our kids. A lot of these things would take care of themselves, but sometimes we need to be pointed out. If you really didn't like my sermon, please read this again, because you need it. If there was a point that you're like, okay, read it again so I don't have to tell you twice. Even if you love the sermon, read it again. Pay attention, okay? And this is a unique sermon, so if you didn't like it, wait later and I'll preach against you again later, okay? I'm sure the people that are the least guilty really liked it, and the people that are the most guilty didn't. So judge it that way, all right? But I love you guys, and again, this is my preferences. This is what I believe is the best. I won't force it on you, and here's another thing. Just because a lot of people don't do these things doesn't mean that I don't think this is how you should behave. Look to my example, look to what I preach. Don't look to what everybody else is doing necessarily. All right? Let's close in prayer. Thank you, Heavenly Father, for this church. Thank you for the word of God. Thank you for giving us an opportunity to get better and to grow. I pray that all of us would just try to think about other people in our lives, we'd think about our spouse, we'd think about the word of God, we'd think about our children, we'd think about church, we'd think about our brethren, and that we would constantly look at ways to serve one another and to be a better person for other people rather than always looking at the selfish gain that we can have. In Jesus' name we pray, amen. All right, one last song for this evening, song number 16. Song number 16. Song number 16, Majestic Sweetness Sits Enthroned. Majestic sweetness sits enthroned upon the Savior's brow. His head with radiant glory's crown, his lips with grace or flow, his lips with grace or flow. No mortal can with him compare among the sons of man. Bearer is he than all the fair who filled a heavenly train, who filled a heavenly train. He saw me plunged in deep distress and flew to my relief. For me he bore the shameful cross and carried all my grief and carried all my grief. To him I owe my life and breath and all the joys I have. He makes me triumph over death and saves me from the grave and saves me from the grave. Let's sing a song number one. Song number one, Jesus I, My Cross Have Taken. Jesus I, my cross have taken, all to leave and follow thee. Destitute, despised, forsaken, thou from hence my all shall be. Perish every fond ambition, all life sought and hoped and known. Yet how rich is my condition, God and heaven are still my own. Let the world despise and leave me, they have left my savior too. Human hearts and looks deceive me, thou are not like man untrue. And while thou shalt smile upon me, God of wisdom, love, and my foes may hate and friends may shun me, show thy face and all is bright. We have Brother Justin coming for baptism. Brother Justin, have you trusted Christ as your savior? I have. Did I baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost, buried in the light of his death, raised to walk in units of life. Congratulations. Make sure to congratulate Brother Justin. God bless you, you're dismissed.