(Disclaimer: This transcript is auto-generated and may contain mistakes.)

Yes, the old account was settled long ago And the record's clear today, glory busts, my sins away And the old account was settled long ago And the old account was large and growing every day The right was always singing and never trying to play The man of death's hands, the saucers fading low Yes, the old account was settled long ago And the record's clear today, glory busts, my sins away When you're down, settle long ago. When at the judgment bar, I stand before my King, and he the book will open, he cannot find his name. And will my heart be glad while he is alone, because he has settled my soul. Amen. Lift it up now. I have my knees. I settle it all. Yes. Because the old account will settle long ago. And with ever since he made glory, lost his sins away. And the old account will settle long ago. When in that happy home, my Savior's home above, I'll sing redemption's story and praise him for his love. I'll not forget that world of good things, white as snow. Because the King has settled, and settled it long ago, long ago, long ago. Yes, the old account will settle long ago. And the records clear today, for he lost his sins away. And the old account will settle long ago. O sinners, seek the Lord, repent of all your sin, for thus he hath sinned. But you should enter in, and then you should win. How high three years we go, how dare you not regret it. We settled long ago, long ago, long ago. Yes, the old account will settle long ago. And the records clear today, for he lost his sins away. And the old account will settle long ago. There's within my heart a melody. Jesus, whisper sweet and low. Fear not, I am with thee, please be still. In all of my heaven and all. Sing it out now. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Sweetest day my God. Wills my every longing. Leaps me singing as I go. All my life was rent, my sin and strife. Years to fill my heart with pain. Jesus stepped across the common street. Turned the suffering cords again. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Sweetest day my God. Wills my every longing. Leaps me singing as I go. Feasting on the riches of his grace. Resting in his shouting grace. Always looking on his smiling face. That is why I shout and sing. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Sweetest day my God. Wills my every longing. Leaps me singing as I go. Though sometimes he leads through waters deep. Tires fall across the way. Though sometimes the vast seas drop at sea. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Sweetest day my God. Wills my every longing. Leaps me singing as I go. Series coming back to welcome me. Army on the starry sky. I shall reign with life to worlds unknown. I shall reign with him on high. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Sweetest day my God. Wills my every longing. Leaps me singing as I go. There is coming a day When no heartache shall come. No more clouds in the sky. No more tears in the eye. All is peace forevermore. On that happy, holy shore. What a day. Good morning everybody. It's great to see everybody here this morning. If we can go ahead and find our seats, we will get started. And once you find a seat, grab a hymnal. And for our first song, we will start this morning out with song number 424. Jump straight from Thanksgiving into the Christmas spirit. Song 424, O Come All Ye Faithful. Song number 424. Sing it out on the first. O come all ye faithful. Joyful and triumphant. O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem. Come and behold Him. Lord the King of Angels. O come let us adore Him. O come let us adore Him. O come let us adore Him. Christ the Lord. Sing choirs of angels. Sing in exultation. O sing all ye brightest of heaven above. Glory to God, O glory in the highest. O come let us adore Him. O come let us adore Him. O come let us adore Him. Christ the Lord. Yea, Lord, we greet Thee. For this happy morning. Jesus, to Thee be our glory given. Word to the Father. Now in flesh appearing. O come let us adore Him. O come let us adore Him. O come let us adore Him. Christ the Lord. Great singing, everybody. Let's open up the service now with a word of prayer. Lord, we thank You so much for just another awesome day to serve You, Lord. Great church, great people. Lord, we just ask that You fill this room with Your Spirit, help bless everything we do, and help us lift up our voice to You as we sing this morning. It's in Jesus' name we pray. Amen. All right, for our next song, let's go to the handout. It should be a handout for What Child Is This? If you do not have a handout, raise your hand and we'll get one to you. What Child Is This? Keep your hand up nice and high and we'll get up a handout and get a handout to you. What Child Is This? Everybody sing it out in the verse. What child is this who laid to rest on Mary's lap is sleeping Angels greet with anthems sweet while shepherds watch are keeping This, this is Christ the King whom shepherds guard and angels sing Haste, haste to bring him laud the babe, the son of Mary Why lies he in such flow a state where ox and lamb are feeding Could Christian fear for sinners near if violent word is pleading Nailspear shall pierce him through the cross be born for before you do Hail, hail the word made flesh the babe, the son of Mary So bring him incense, gold and myrrh come peasant king to own him The king of kings salvation brings that loving heart's enthroned him Raise, raise the song on high the virgin sings her lullaby Joy, joy, for Christ is born the babe, the son of Mary Great singing. Thanks for coming to St. Vast Baptist Church. If you haven't already received a bulletin, you would like one. You can lift up your hand nice and high. One of our ushers can come by and get you guys a bulletin. On the front, we're working on Matthew 28 as a new Bible memory passage. And also in the inside, we have our service and soul winning times. We have our church stats down below. On the right, we have a list of our expecting ladies, as well as our prayer list. And we have several prayer requests there. If you'd like to have any additional prayer requests, please email those to us and we'll try to get those updated in the bulletin. On the back, we have a note about our turkey bowl coming up this Saturday. And Brother Marcel, you can see him about details, if you're interested in participating in that. Also, the ladies' Christmas party is coming up. So if you've signed up for that, we'd love to make sure you're out there. It is nursing's only, so make sure that you guys are very helpful with that. On December 9th is our Christmas caroling. We have December 25th is our Christmas cookie bake-off. And then January 1st is the men's preaching night and pizza. As far as the caroling is concerned, we'll probably post that into our chat group and stuff as far as like instructions and everything like that. If you're not in that, please see me or Brother West or one of our ushers and we can help you with that information. Inside of our bulletin, we have a newsletter update. And I have Evangelist Urbanic, who's in the Philippines, give us a monthly update as far as what he's been doing. And you're able to read through the entire sheet if you would like. I usually just point out a few of the notable statements here. He says that him, and he says we, mostly because he's been training up and creating some disciples there, some soul winning disciples that are there with him doing a lot of the soul winning. And so they were able to get 495 salvations for the month of November. And so that's great. Also, they have 2800 so far since him being out there. So he's beating our entire church, you know. And so that's definitely really encouraging. And, you know, that's one of the main reasons, you know, why we would send someone to the Philippines and why we love the Philippines is because of how receptive it is to the gospel and just the sheer volume of people. There is just, especially places like Manila and other places, they're very densely populated. And so when you go to parks and you go to public areas, there's hundreds and hundreds if not thousands of people out. So there's a lot of opportunity to communicate and talk to people. If you ever want to go to the Philippines, a lot of people here in our church have been there, visited, some people even from there. I would highly encourage you to talk to them about it because they're way more knowledgeable than I am. I've only been there one time briefly. But, you know, from my, even just my brief experience, the soul winning is, you know, very, it's very enjoyable just because there's so many opportunities to preach the gospel. Most people that are especially younger speak English well enough that you can communicate pretty effectively and still get people saved in English. Additionally, it's depending on what time of year you go to the Philippines, it can be pretty affordable. If you go around December, January, it's pretty expensive. I didn't even realize that when I went out there. So it was like about $3,000 to $5,000 if you want to fly in kind of the December, January window. But I was looking in like March and some other parts of time, it's like $1,200. So that's a lot more affordable. And the $3,000 flights right now are like the worst flight you could ever imagine. It was like a 50 or 60 hour travel time through like all kinds of, it was like going backwards. It was going like Dubai and then Athens and then New York and then back here. I was like, oh, that's weird. But so, you know, if you time it right though, you can make a pretty affordable, it can be a pretty affordable trip. And another thing about the Philippines is the dollar goes really far. So stuff there is a lot cheaper than America. And so really just housing, food, transportation. I didn't even have to worry about transportation because they have kind of like an Uber over there called Grab. And it's very cheap. It pays like $5 or something like that. And you can have them take you wherever you want all the time. It's pretty easy. And, you know, the food is very affordable. I mean, you could eat really well, like really great meals for cheap pretty much the whole time you're there. And there are some very nice hotels. One of the ones I stayed in was pretty cheap and yet it was like a five star hotel. And so it was really, really nice. In fact, the hotel I stayed in was cheaper than the Airbnbs. And it was just like, you know, might as well just stay in a really nice hotel. Because over there, a really, really nice hotel is like $100, $120 a night. So, you know, like over here, that's like Motel 6 or something, you know. And so that's one of the great things about the Philippines is, you know, the dollar stretches really far over there. And you can enjoy yourself. You can stay in nice lodging very affordably. There's all kinds of, every cuisine you can think of, honestly. And they have, the soul winning is just honestly really special. It's a lot of fun. Plus there's a lot of, there's just a lot of people over there that are really zealous for the things of God. Especially Pastor Stuckey's Church. They're running hundreds of people over there. They have a couple different church plants. And so, you know, they had a recent soul winning marathon where I think they had like 48, approximately like 40 something people go out. And they had 150 salvations for the day. And so, you know, that's really good numbers. Usually, if you have about a salvation per soul winner, that's like good. And then if you like have double, that's great. To have triple is just like phenomenal. And so, that's just kind of give you some kind of an idea of what it's like over there. And so just to kind of encourage you, if you've ever liked to go out there. Also, Brother James Perry's been out there multiple times. He's a friend of our church. He knows that area pretty well because he's stayed out there a lot. And he comes back. So, you can pick his brain on what he's been doing. Also, if you ever want to go out there, I can try to get you in touch with Evangel's Urbanic or Pastor Stuckey. And also, there's even other churches out there. I think the Plant Brothers have visited some other churches and highly recommend them as well. And so, there's a lot of resources if you ever like to travel on that side of the world. And it's pretty much warm all the time too. So, if you like a break from the cold. So, just wanted to throw that out there. If you want to read more, read this. I really like Evangel's Urbanic giving us some kind of an update. And it's not like, hey, this week we sweep the floor and we learned a few new words. And we're hoping that so-and-so might come to church one day. It's like, hey, we got 495 salvations. It's like, man, that's serious. You know what I mean? So, praise God that our investment in Evangel's Urbanic is going really well. That's pretty much all I have as far as announcements. We'll go ahead and sing our third song. Holy, holy, holy. And that's going to be in our handouts. Alright, that was holy, holy, holy. In your laminated handout. Song number, sorry, holy, holy, holy. Holy, holy, holy. Lord God Almighty. Early in the morning our song shall rise to Thee. Holy, holy, holy. Merciful and mighty. God in three persons. Blessed Trinity. Holy, holy, holy. All the saints adore Thee. Casting down their golden crowns around the glassy sea. Chair of them and seraphim. Falling down before Thee. Which Word and Art and evermore shall be. Holy, holy, holy. Lo, the darkness hide Thee. Through the eye of sinful men Thy glory may not see. Holy, thou art holy. There is none beside Thee. Perfect in power and love and purity. Holy, holy, holy. Lord God Almighty. All that works shall praise Thy name in earth, land, sky, and sea. Holy, holy, holy. Merciful and mighty. God in three persons. Blessed Trinity. Great singing everybody. Now as the offering plates are being passed around, go ahead and turn in your Bibles to 1 Corinthians chapter 7. That's 1 Corinthians chapter number 7. 1 Corinthians 7. 1 Corinthians 7, the Bible reads, Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband rest in peace, and let the man not touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have his own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence, and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband, and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except that be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and come together again, But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment, for I would that all men were even as I myself, but every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I, but if they cannot contain, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn. And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, let not the wife depart from her husband, but and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband, and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord, if any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband, else were your children unclean, but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband, or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called everyone, so let him walk, and so ordain I in all churches. Is any man called being circumcised? Let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called an uncircumcision? Let him not be circumcised. Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God. Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called. Art thou called being a servant? Care not for it. But if thou mayest be made free, use it rather. For he that is called in the Lord being a servant is the Lord's freeman. Likewise also he that is called being free is Christ's servant. Ye are bought with a price, be not ye the servants of men. Brethren, let every man wherein he is called therein abide with God. Now concerning virgins, I have no commandment of the Lord, yet I give my judgment as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful. I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress. I say that it is good for a man so to be. Art thou bound unto a wife? Seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? Seek not a wife. But, and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned, and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless, such shall have trouble in the flesh, but I spare you. But this I say, brethren, the time is short. It remaineth that both they that have wives be as though they had none, and they that weep as though they wept not, and they that rejoice as though they rejoiced not, and they that buy as though they possessed not, and they that use this world as not abusing it, for the fashion of this world passeth away. But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. In this I speak for your own profit, not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that you may attend upon the Lord without distraction. But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncumbly toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not, let him marry. Nevertheless, he that standeth steadfast in his heart, having no necessity but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well, but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better. The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth, but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will only in the Lord. But she is happier if she so abide after my judgment, and I think also that I have the Spirit of God. Let's bow our heads for a word of prayer. Father in heaven, we thank you for this day for our church and our pastor. I pray that you fill in with your spirit, enable him to preach the word of God with boldness, and for us to receive the message and to apply it to our lives, and to glorify you better every day. We love you, and in Jesus' name I pray, amen. Amen. 1 Corinthians chapter 7 is kind of continuing a thought that's coming from chapter 6, and I want to read just a few verses here of chapter 6 at the very end that kind of helps us get the context, but it says in verse 18 of chapter 6, Flee fornication, every sin that a man doeth is without the body, but he that commiteth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's. The Bible tells us that we're not only to obey God in the spirit, but also with our physical bodies, and that our bodies are to glorify God. Verse 1 of chapter 7, Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. Don't take this verse too far. It's not saying literal, just touching. The whole context has been fornication, and I believe that the general consensus or the general idea being instructed here is it's just good for people to keep themselves pure. Men should be pure, women should be pure. They shouldn't be engaging in marital activities when they're not married. And here it says, verse 2, Nevertheless, So it's saying, hey, we want to abstain from this activity when we're not married, nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. And so for the vast majority of society, for the vast majority of people, the only way to truly avoid fornication is to have your own husband or have your own wife is what the Bible is instructing. And again, I think this is 99% of people should most likely pursue and seek marriage because they're going to have, you know, the reality of this temptation of fornication in their lives. Now I think it's possible for someone to still have some level of temptation but just totally have no real desire that's going to overcome them or they have an ability to prevent themselves from going down that path. And so they seek to simply live a life just pleasing unto the Lord, serving God, and never getting married. And the Bible describes that that's an okay alternative lifestyle. But that's the vast minority, not the general consensus for us. The vast majority of us need to be married and to avoid fornication. Now, why are you getting married according to Paul? I'm just trying to be honest with the text here. Why is he saying to get married? He's saying to avoid fornication. So that means that there's an important aspect of marriage that is really crucial to marriage, and that is avoiding fornication. That's why he's going to bring up the next few verses here. He says, So according to the Bible, and this is not my opinion, this is the Bible's opinion, this is God's opinion, that my wife does not have power over her own body. What does that mean? She doesn't have authority. She doesn't have the ability to make the choice for herself. I have power over her own body. And so the title of my sermon this morning is this, My Wife's Body, My Choice. It's my wife's body, and it's my choice. Now, I'm just telling you what the Bible says. People are going to be triggered in the world if you say something like this, or if you bring this concept up, but it's not my personal opinion, it's not what I'm... I'm just trying to create some doctrine in my mind. That is literally what the Bible is saying. And the flip is true too, in the sense of this context, of what we're talking about here, that it's my body and it's my wife's choice. So, but here's the thing, the title of the sermon is My Wife's Body, My Choice, so I'm not focusing on that aspect right now, okay? But I am saying clearly that the opposite's true. And, you know, for many men, they would think like that's not a necessary verse, but I'll be honest, it is a necessary verse, and there are people in situations where, you know what, hey, even the men sometimes have to show due benevolence when they're not just naturally doing that. It says in verse 5, To fraud you not one the other, except to be with consent for a time. So what the Bible is saying is, the only way you could deny your spouse is when they make that choice. That's what it's saying. The only way you can deny them is when they say, it's okay because we are doing something specific, and what is the specific thing? It says that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. Incontinency simply means lack of control or lack of self-control. It can be used in multiple contexts. Sometimes it's used in the context of the bathroom, and you don't want to have incontinence when it comes to that particular area of life. But it's also saying, why did you even get married in the first place? I mean, think about it. What was the whole context of why people were getting married? To avoid fornication. So then when you take that aspect away from marriage, then what is the Bible saying? Well, now you're allowing the devil, now you're allowing Satan to tempt you and to cause you to possibly stumble because of the fact that you're having this lack of self-control. And it's not even saying here, like you're just a weaker brother or you're just a bad person or whatever. It's just simply saying, this is just how the world works. This is just a natural course of action, and it makes sense. You know, if I walk into a restaurant, I expect to eat. You know, it'd be kind of weird if I show up at the restaurant and they say, hey, we're not going to serve food anymore. You'd be like, well, then you're not really a restaurant. And in the same way, if you get married and they say, hey, this isn't on the table anymore, this isn't on the menu anymore, well, then it's like, well, that was the whole point of marriage. And notice what it said, defraud ye not one the other. You're defrauding them. I mean, you expect to go into the restaurant to get food, right? You make an order. Maybe you pay for it. Like, imagine you walk into the cash register. You order, hey, I want a double cheeseburger. Here's 20 bucks or whatever. It's so expensive these days. I don't know. That's like five guys' prices or something, right? It's like 20 bucks or something for fries and a burger, and they say, no problem. Take your money, and then you're waiting. And you're just waiting and you're waiting. And they're like, oh, by the way, we don't sell burgers anymore. You'd be like, wow, you defrauded me. This isn't right. I paid. I ordered this. This is what I wanted. You know, I'm excited about a double cheeseburger, and then they've taken off the menu. Well, you know what? That person's probably not going to say, well, I'm never going to eat again. They're probably going to go somewhere else and eat. Why? But they would have eaten the burger. That's what they wanted. They're going to eat the burger if it's offered. But by taking the burger off the menu, now you're putting this person in an uncomfortable situation. You're putting them in a bad spot. And what the Bible is saying is, you know what? Don't do that. The whole point of marriage in the first place was to show due benevolence. And so when it comes to my wife's body, it is my choice. And you know what? The due benevolence is something that she owes me. That was the whole point of marriage. And that is not something that she gets to decide. That is something that I get to decide. And that is what the Bible says. I don't really care what the world thinks. I don't care what therapists think. I don't care what everybody else's marriage is like because it's my wife's body and it's my choice. And you know what? That's why I got married. Go to Song of Solomon, chapter number four. Song of Solomon, chapter number four. And the reverse is true as well. The reverse is true that what I signed up for is that when my wife wants a meal, she gets a meal. When my wife wants what she needs, she gets what she needs. And, you know, sometimes people get really weird about all this stuff. And, you know, just to be clear, because, you know, I want to be clear this morning about certain things, is the consent in this part of the relationship happened when you said I do. Okay? Now, some people in this world are so weird and there's so many goofed up ideas on marriage. There are Catholics and there are all kinds of false doctrines and people that are saying things like due benevolence in marriage is sinful. I mean, there are Catholics and there are different religious groups that will teach that to have relations between husband and wife is somehow wrong. It's sinful. It's bad. And that's why they eat raw potatoes, to quench that desire. But I'm telling you, raw potatoes isn't going to fix the problem. Okay? And, you know, that's a silly idea. And they'll say, yeah, well, sometimes, I mean, you know, what if one person's just not as jazzed as the other person or whatever? Okay. Well, sometimes we do things that we don't necessarily like or we're that jazzed about. Okay? And that's okay. Just like, you know, I put on clothes today and I put on clothes every single day and my wife washes all of them. You know, I never pick out a shirt from the cabinet. I'm like, hey, when you wash this, were you in a good mood? I'm only willing to wear clothes that you washed when you were happy about it. Or do I just put on the shirt and I don't really care what her attitude was when she washed it. Right? What if I came home and I said, hey, were you happy when you made this burger? Are you smiling? In fact, she could be mad at me right now, but if the burger's good, I'm gonna eat it. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not sitting here judging every aspect of her life. Like, hey, I came home and the house is clean, but I think you were complaining while you cleaned the house, so, you know, you could clean it again. Right? I mean, is that how we really operate? Is that how we really work? You know, and sometimes people, they get these strange and weird ideas about this stuff. You go to work and your boss says, hey, I need a new report on my desk. Hey, you need to do this report. And you're like, in your mind you're thinking like, I don't really want to do this report. But you know what you do? You just do the report because it's your job. And you know what I don't do? When my boss says, hey, I need this report, stay a little extra, stay a little late, get it done, put it on my desk. And then I do it and then I come home and be like, honey, my husband, or I'm sorry, honey, my boss raped me at work. That would be weird because that's like a triggering word. My wife would be like, what happened? He asked me to do an extra report. What? What are you talking about? That's not the right word for that type of a situation. Okay, but you know what? You go into the world today, you go ask a psychotherapist. Yeah, I call them psychotherapists today. All these kind of weirdos and they'll say like, well, if you just were a little uncomfortable or if you just felt a little bad or you were just not 100% yourself or something, now it's rape. And it's like, that's ridiculous. And then people use this triggering language to make it sound like something that it's not at all, okay? And so we don't want to use triggering language to describe things that are not true. You know, just like the words abuse are just such an extreme word used today, you know, you go to work and you show up late and your boss is like, hey, don't be late again and yells at you. And then you come home like, my boss is verbally abusing me. Like that's just, this is like libtard talking points, okay? And this is not biblical stuff. And you know what, people today, they're just so easily triggered by almost anything negative, anything they don't want to have to do, anything they don't like, and the reality is that is life. You think that I want to drag my carcass off the work and pay bills every single day of every single second? No. And you know what, there's aspects of marriage, there's aspects of life where we don't necessarily enjoy every single second or like every single aspect of life. Or it's like the best experience we've ever had in our entire life. But you know what, it's life. But you know what, the Bible is not saying here in 1 Corinthians 7, hey, if you're not 100% jazzed, then it's off the table. No, it's just saying the other person gets to make this choice, not you. That is what the Bible is saying. Now, let's read some other passages here. Song of Solomon is a great place If you want to be better at marriage, read Song of Solomon. Now, here's the hard part about marriage. You can only fix yourself. Let me say this again. The hard part about marriage, you can only fix yourself. This is what everybody wants. Will you please fix my spouse? And it's like, no one can do that. Everybody has free will. Everybody gets to decide whatever they're going to do. But you know what, you can fix yourself. Now, here's the thing. I make things clear to my wife, my expectations and what I want. And I'm trying to help her, and I'm trying to lead by example. And ultimately, it's my choice. But at the end of the day, you can only take a horse to water. You can't force him to drink. You can even put his nose in the water. But you can't necessarily make him swallow. But here's the thing about this particular book of the Bible, is we need to have the right attitude and mindset and just accept this. Song of Solomon chapter 4, look at verse 12. A garden enclosed is my sister. Now, this is a husband talking about his wife. And of course, there's spiritual metaphors here of the Lord Jesus Christ and the church, and there's all this great imagery. But we have to understand the carnal truths that are being expounded, too. And it's like there's so many layers to Song of Solomon. You have a literal garden with literal vegetables. Then you have a husband and his wife. And then you have Jesus in the church. So you have all these different layers being packed into this particular book of the Bible. But he's using a metaphor of his wife, because he's calling his sister, not literal sister, but your sister in Christ. He's saying she's like his sister, and he's comparing her to a garden. He's saying about her, a spring shut up, a fountain sealed. So he's using multiple metaphors. She's like a fountain. She's like a garden. Thy plants are an orchard of pomegranates, with pleasant fruits, campfire, with spikenard, spikenard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, with all trees of frankincense, myrrh and aloes, with all the chief spices, a fountain of gardens, a well of living waters, and streams from Lebanon. Awake, O north wind, and come. Thou south, blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. He's saying, man, my wife has all these great attributes. You know, and think about it. As a husband praises his wife, there's often many things he likes about his wife. He may like her personality, her laugh, her smile, her hair, the way she cooks. There's just like all these different things that he likes about her. And what does wind do? Wind carries the scent of a garden to where you can smell, oh, I can smell, you know, the cinnamon, and I can smell all these different spices. And of course, a garden can have all kinds of different fruits. It can have apples and all these different scents. And often, fruit is a pleasant scent. Many times, people that have candles or scentsies or all these things, they have a fruit smell to them because people like the smells of fruits. And so they're getting these aromas from this particular garden. And it's talking about a man pleased with his wife and all the different characteristics. But then notice what it says in the end of this. Let my beloved come into his garden and eat his pleasant fruits. It's just an open door. Hey, whatever he wants, I'm the garden. I'm open for business. He can come and he can enjoy whatever aspects of the garden that he wants whenever he wants. Because you know what? It's his garden. It's his choice. He wants to walk into his garden. I mean, think about it. You own a garden. Shouldn't you be able to walk into the garden and see, hey, here's an apple tree. I want to pluck an apple off right now and eat it. Does he have to ask anybody, hey, can I pluck an apple off of my own tree and eat my own apple? My dad gardens all the time, and he has all kinds of different fruits. My dad gardens all the time, and he has all these tomato plants that he typically grows, and he really likes cherry tomatoes. And if you know anything about my dad, in harvest season when he walks through there, he'll just grab a cherry tomato off and just throw it in his mouth right then and there. He's just walking through, just popping cherry tomatoes in his mouth. Now, I like tomatoes. I'm just not that hardcore to just start eating raw tomatoes or whatever. But he loves it. Tomatoes are even a fruit, I think in a technical sense. But he walks through his garden. He eats tomatoes whenever he wants because it's his garden. It's his tomato. It's his choice. And you know what? It's the same concept that's being driven here in Song of Solomon that this is how marriage should work, that both parties are open for business, and it's their choice. Go to Proverbs 5. Proverbs 5. Now, the world will not tell you this. The world has a perverted mindset in this area. The world says, my body, my choice, about everything. And you know what? I'm not saying that there couldn't be a context upon which that's true. And of course, that statement by itself is kind of true in some ways. It's usually used in a context, though, that has nothing to do with my body because they're talking about abortion, and they're talking about a baby that's not their body. But obviously, when you go to the doctor, it should be your body, your choice. The doctor shouldn't get to choose what they're doing. But in marriage, you actually signed over part of your rights, part of your body's decision-making to your spouse, and you said, hey, it's my body, but it's now your choice. And this is an important thing. It's a spiritual concept that we'll bring up later, but the Bible literally says that you're bought with a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit. So in the same way that we're bought by the Lord Jesus Christ, and we have to honor and glorify Him and do what He wants with our bodies, is the same way that a husband and a wife, when they sign up for marriage, they do what their spouse wants. That's what marriage was. That's what you signed up for. If you're saying, I don't really like this, you must have not understood marriage because that was literally the contract. That was literally what you were signing up for. That was literally what you were vowing. That was literally what you were saying. And that's what the Bible is commanding. But the world today will try to use due benevolence as a weapon in marriage, where husbands and wives will weaponize marriage against their spouse. And they'll say, no, you want to come into the garden? Twenty bucks. You want to eat fruit off of your tree? Well, you've got to first do all this work or you've got to do all these things. No, no, no. That's not how marriage should work. Marriage should work as, hey, the garden's always open. The garden is always open. And you know what? It's my wife's body. It's my choice. Proverbs 5, verse 15, the Bible says, Drink waters out of thine own cistern and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own and not strangers with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. In the same passage of Song of Solomon that we read, it talks about her being a fountain in the spring. Similarly, it's using that same language of metaphoric speech here in Proverbs chapter number 5 to describe a wife as being a fountain. Rejoicing with her, verse 19, Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe. Let her breast satisfy thee at all times. This sounds like 24-7. Now, isn't this... I mean, I'm trying to be honest. Isn't this consistent? 1 Corinthians chapter number 7, it's the husband has power over the wife's body. Song of Solomon chapter number 4, we have, hey, let him come into his garden and eat his pleasant fruits. Then we have in Proverbs chapter number 5, Let her breast satisfy thee at all times. Notice how the Bible describes marriage. Not the world. Not what your parents said. Not what other people do. What does the Bible say? The Bible says you're open for business, and you know what, it's my wife's body, it's my choice. That's what the Bible is saying. And be thou ravished always with her love. Why would you do that? Why would you always be ravished with your wife's love? Why would you do that? Well, it says, and why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman? What was 1 Corinthians chapter 7's context again? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Satan tempts you not for your incontinency. What does it say here in Proverbs chapter number 5? Why would you embrace the bosom of a stranger? Why would you love a strange woman? So it's like, you know, I couldn't be like, hey, honey, I'm no longer going to eat dinner at the house. I'm no longer eating any of your meals. There's no way I'm going to never eat again. Like, that's just an unrealistic expectation for anybody to say I'm done eating. I've got to eat somewhere. And if I don't want to eat McDonald's, if I don't want to eat Indian food, I want to offend you with food. That's why I always bring up all these things, right? If I haven't offended you by food yet, you're not listening. But here's the reality. If I don't want to eat that, then I got to eat at home. And the reason I got married is so that I could eat at home. And it's saying, hey, if you don't have home, be open for business, you know, well, then you have a problem because someone needs that. And, you know, do you really think, do you really expect me to believe for one second that every time I've ever given my wife a back massage or a foot massage or done anything, I was just like super jazzed about it? I mean, think about it this way. You know, when your back itches, is your right hand over here being like, man, I can't wait to rub the back? Like, I'm just so excited. Yay! This is the best part of my day. You know what happens when you start rubbing your own back? Your fingers start hurting. It's uncomfortable. Maybe your shoulder arm gets tired because you're trying to do something. Have you ever given someone a back massage? You know who enjoys the back massage? The person receiving the back massage. Okay. But it's called a back because you can't even reach your own back everywhere, especially if you're Arnold. You know, he can't even get there. He's like, too strong. But the reality is you scratch someone else's back. And it's like if my wife does a great job rubbing my back, but she's not that jazzed about it, I'm like this. You know? I mean, sometimes you just want a back massage. Sometimes you just need something or whatever from your spouse. And that's why you get married. Two are better than one. And that is just how the world works. Plus, sometimes, you know, you weren't that into it, but you start down that path and you end up changing your mind and it's great anyways. Okay? That's just how the world works. But you know what I don't want? I don't want to come home to my own house and it's like the kitchen's closed. Now, go if you went to 1 Timothy 2. There's someone close to me, so I'm going to try and use some discretion on who this is, but there's somebody close to me that when I was at their house, they had these rules about the kitchen. And I'll just tell you, it triggered me. All right? But the rules about their kitchen is after dinner, the kitchen was closed. And I'm like, what do you mean? Like, we had dinner at 6 p.m. It's midnight and I'm hungry. You know, I'm going in there and I want to eat something. It's like, no, no, the kitchen's closed. And it's like, no. Like this, I don't like this house rules. Okay? And it wasn't, you know, I was a kid, but I'm like, it was also closed to the men of the house. And I'm thinking like, no, no, no. If the men of the house want food, they should be able to go in the kitchen and get whatever they want whenever they want. It's their house, it's their kitchen. You know what I mean? And so I don't like this, you know, hey, we have this 10-minute window where you can eat or whatever and that's the only acceptable time. No, no, no. It should be my kitchen, my choice. Right? It's my wife, it's my choice. And I'm trying to be honest with you. I think that the Bible's clear on this. Like, I don't think I'm just like up here saying like, this is my personal opinion. You're just saying that because you're mean and selfish. No, no, no. I'm telling you what the Bible says. And you know what? I'm jealous, I'm not selfish. You know what jealous is? Wanting that which I own and is my possession. My wife is my possession and her body is my body and we become one flesh and I'm very jealous for my wife and so she is open for business for me when I want because that's how the world works. Now, of course, I'm not trying to say even though it's my garden and my choice, you know what, I'm not going to walk into the garden and just start trashing the tree. I'm not going to start beating up the tree. I'm not going to start damaging the tree. I'm not going to just strip all the fruit off of it and throw it away and treat it poorly. No, no, I'm going to love my garden. I'm going to be gentle to the garden. I'm going to extract the fruit properly. You know, there's a right way to get the fruit off the tree and there's a bad way to get the fruit off the tree. You can take fruit off the tree without hurting the tree and then you could literally just start ripping off branches or something. You know, that's obviously not wise. That's not the good thing. And if you want your garden to produce really good fruit, you're going to take care of it. You're going to love it. You're going to nourish it. You're going to water it. You're going to plant it. You're going to do all these things. And so that aspect of marriage, let me make it clear, if you want to have a great garden, you got to water it and you got to plant and you got to tend to the garden and you got to care for the garden. And the more you do, the better garden experience you're going to have. But you know what? At the end of the day, it's still my garden. It's still my choice. And so you know what we really want in this world is benevolent dictators. That's what the world needs is benevolent dictators. And it always works best when you have both. When you're benevolent but you let people walk all over you, it's horrible. When you're a dictator and you have no benevolence, it's horrible. What we really need is benevolent dictators, men and leaders that are going to make decisions that are positive for both parties, making the right decisions. And you know, just because it's your right doesn't mean that men should just throw out all romance, throw out all love, throw out all cherishing. No, we should nourish and love and cherish our wives and care for them. And you know what? Buy them nice things and take them out to nice dinners and talk sweetly to them and give honor under the weaker vessel. We should do all the things that we need to do. But at the end of the day, it's my wife's body and it's my choice. And I'm not going to take that authority away from men and say, hey, men, you're not allowed to go into your garden. No, men should be able to go into the garden when they want. But you know what? Men should take care of their garden too. Both. We need both. But we have an epidemic in this world today where gardens are closing, gardens are shutting down, men are not allowed to be the husband men anymore, men are not allowed to wear the pants anymore. And you know what? It's epidemic. It's epidemic because it's causing so much adultery and so much fornication and so much sin and so much smut and so much evil because our society has become perverted and become weird and women today don't have the right mindset. They're using due benevolence as a weapon and not as a garden. You know what? It's wicked. It's wrong. It's destroying marriages. It's destroying society. And let me tell you something. One of the keys to marriage is due benevolence. That is the glue that keeps the relationship together. You know, the reason why I like restaurants is because they keep making good food and they keep serving it to me. When they stop making good food and they stop serving it to me, I stop going. And you know, there's a lot of aspects of the restaurant that I like on top of that in addition to but, you know, if they jack the price but they still have a good product, they probably still pay for it. You know what I mean? Hey, if my wife needs some things that are a little fancier in life or needs some nice things every once in a while, I'll pay for it as long as the garden stays open. You know what I mean? It's like, hey, I'm here. It's her, in a sense, it's my body, her choice too, right? If she wants me to work really hard and provide for our family and do good things so that she can have nice things, hey, we need to make sure that we have a reciprocal arrangement and we're providing for each other and taking care of each other and doing good unto each other. But you know what? This world is screwed up and they use triggering language. They use triggering language to describe things that are not real. You know, my boss has never raped me, okay, folks? And that's just ridiculous. My boss never abused me. You know what? I've been yelled at by bosses. I've been let go from workplace environments. I've been told to work nights and weekends. I've had to do all kinds of grueling, nasty work. I've had to do things I didn't want to do. I've had to work with people I didn't want to work. But you know what? I'm never going to use that stupid libtard language to describe something that's not real. And you know what? People that weaponize language against their spouse, it's just really you're cutting yourself, you're hurting yourself. Don't use triggering language about your spouse that's not legitimate, that's not real. You know, and what you really do is you undermine people that actually have real issues. There are some people that have had very extreme weird things happen, even in marriage. And when you use this over-the-top language for stuff that's not real, you're basically poisoning the wealth for everybody else. You're the boy who cried wolf for everybody else because now no one takes it seriously. So many women have lied about what a man has done to them to where it's now questionable if these women are being honest or being sincere, and we kind of don't give them as much benefit of the doubt as we should just because of how many liars there are. And we shouldn't add to that, we shouldn't contribute to the deception. We should make sure that we're accurate and basing everything on reality here. Now, first Timothy chapter number two brings up another point of this that I want to discuss. And I'll be honest with you. What I'm saying is not popular. People outside of this church would say it's weird, extreme, crazy. You know, I think they're weird and crazy and extreme. I think it's weird to dedicate my life to a woman and to be willing to pay all of her bills and to say I'll never divorce her when that is not on the table. I mean, already the disciples were asking Jesus about this and they're just thinking, like, if the case be so, it's good not for a man to marry a woman. He's like, what in the world? I'm stuck with her forever? No matter what? It's like, yeah. But, you know, when that's on the table, it's like, okay. First Timothy chapter number two, verse 12. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor do you serve authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding, she shall be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith and charity and holiness and sobriety. The Bible says that women are saved through childbearing. Now, are we talking about salvation of going to heaven? No. We're talking about a different salvation. What is the salvation that we're talking about? Not being deceived, not being in the transgression, not being taken advantage of by the wiles of the devil. Why? Because they're busy working. They're busy taking care of children. They're busy raising a family. And because of that, they're going to have less temptation, less likelihood to be taken advantage of by this world, deceived by this world. I mean, who do you think voted for Kamala Harris? Do you think it's mothers raising six, seven, eight, nine kids? Or do you think it was women that have no husband and no children and a short haircut and pants and voted for Hillary too? I'm just telling you there's a correlation here to the childbearing and being more conservative and God-fearing and then the people that forbear childbearing and don't want to have children and kind of having a wicked satanic agenda. And I'm not saying there isn't exceptions on both sides. There obviously is. But just generally speaking, this is a kind of a general truth and the Bible is saying this is how women are saved. Therefore, since it's my wife's body though that bears the child that has to go through the grueling nine months of pregnancy, go through the incredible pain and suffering of childbirth, not only that the postpartum, not only that breastfeeding, not only that being the primary caregiver of my child, you have to be honest that she bears the weight of children. It's not even a fair comparison. But you know what, it's my wife's body and it's still my choice. But I want to make it clear when I'm saying this and what I'm saying. I cannot have children as a choice. I can't press a button and have children. No one can. And again, there are people that try to do this with test tubes and all kinds of weird stuff. Even then you can't necessarily force it to happen. And I don't think you should do that at all. I think that it's wrong. But I am saying that no one can technically press a button to have children. But you can press buttons to not have children. And what I think the Bible very clearly teaches is that me and my wife do not have the right to press the button of not children. Of saying, what would be the number one way to not have children? Point one, do benevolence. If you don't have due benevolence, well, having children is completely taken off the table. It like literally can't happen. Okay? Go if you would to another place, go to Genesis 38. You know, my wife at one point, we, you know, were not very wise and we ended up using birth control. And at the end of the day, you know, I regret that decision. I wish that there wasn't a period of time that we did that. But I'm just being honest with you. That's a fault of mine, that's a sin of mine. I wish I hadn't done that, but we did. But you know what? Now I'm not, that's not on the table again. You know, we're not going to do something like that anymore. And I've decided that that was wrong. And so it is my wife's body, but I'm not going to put her on birth control. Also, what I'm not going to do is I'm not going to get her tubes tied. Now, here's the thing, I was told that I was a selfish, wicked person for not getting a vasectomy. And I'm like, well, never going to happen. Okay? And again, my wife doesn't want that anyways. Okay? And I believe that would be wrong. You know, now if you've done that, you know, I can't necessarily always reverse these things. I don't think that God's, we have to be clear. God's not like perpetually mad at us for every sin. It's not like I lied 20 years ago and God's still mad at me for that one lie. Right? Especially if I confessed it and forsaken it and said sorry, right? So, you know, a lot of these sins that people commit are kind of a one-time thing. And then you just move on with life, right? People get divorced or married, I don't think God's like constantly going to gain on your parade of marriage just because you did that. But let's be honest, He was mad that you did that. He was mad when you did that thing and you shouldn't have done that. But you know what? Just say you're sorry and move on and that's life. But sometimes you do the thing and God's mad and He punishes you right then and there for doing it. It's called Onan. Look at Genesis chapter 38 and look at verse number 8. And Judah said unto Onan, go in unto thy brother's wife and marry her And Onan knew that the seed should not be his and it came to pass when he went in unto his brother's wife that he spilled it on the ground lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the Lord. So notice God's mad about the thing He just did and then what happens? Well, the Bible makes it clear that wherefore, meaning why, He slew him also. So it's just saying, hey, you did that and then God just killed him. Now, again, does that mean that every single person that does birth control or something, God's just going to kill right on the spot? No, because our world still has a lot of people in it, okay? And if He was just dropping people like that, you know, almost no one would survive, probably, okay? Because almost everybody in society has exercised some form of some kind of a birth control or something. But I also think it's clear here, you know, from the context that it's not like this act is sinful. It's the motivation behind the act in the sense that Onan doesn't want to have children. And so by refusing to have children, God slays him. So, you know, some people get over the top with things in the Bible. It's not saying that men and women can't enjoy themselves and if it's not a perfect procreation event, then it's sinful or something. Because literally, Catholics will teach that if you do anything that is not with like a 100% chance of procreation, that it's sinful again. Wrong. I don't believe that. I don't agree with that. You know, marriage is honorable and all and the bed undefiled. But whoremongers and adulterers, God will judge. This is someone refusing, refusing, refusing to have children. That's completely different, okay? So someone that's refusing to have children and will not have them for, you know, the future, God could potentially punish that person severely and we see that evidence in the Bible. Now he may not punish them with this kind of same punishment. Frankly speaking, God in the Old Testament just gives us a lot of harsh examples just to warn us, I think, but then he gives us a lot of grace and long suffering. But that's not for us to test God and tempt God because God literally could bring the same punishment to people and we don't want to take these things lightly. We want to take them seriously. So when it comes to me and my wife, we're not going to be onan and we're not going to say, we're just not going to have children. Now, if we did do that or if we made a decision that caused that, I would just say, God, I'm really sorry I did that. Please forgive me and then just move on with my life. And then when it struck lightning, go in a safe place, okay? You know what I mean? But at the same time, I'm just saying like, I don't think God's just like permanently mad at people. If this is something you did two years ago, five years, I wouldn't even worry about it. But what I also wouldn't do is encourage other people to make the same decision you did, right? And just say, hey. And if you're in the ability, you have the capability to say like, let's stop doing this, then I would encourage you to stop doing that. And as men, I believe men have the decision here. It's my wife's body, but it's still my choice. And so you know what I'm not going to do? I'm not going to ask my wife permission if we can have children. But you know what? I also don't get to fully make that decision. All I do is point number one, point number two, and pray that God will take care of it and God will do what's best for me. And God will continue to bless. And you know what? I love all six of my children, and I would love if I have more. My wife hopes we have at least ten. And I'm thinking like, how am I going to pay for that? And she keeps telling me twins. And I'm like, no. That's going to get to another point here. That's point three. Go to numbers chapter 30. I always have to be careful when she says that, that I immediately say no. Okay? And I'll explain why. She thinks she wants that. Okay? Now, obviously we had twins. We would love both of them equally, and it would be great. But, man, one is hard enough, folks, okay? Two at the same time. And God bless you if you had them. I know people have had even more. I met someone that had quadruplets. And I'm thinking like, wow, you're braver than me, man. I don't even know how you do that. Like, I have to hold two babies. She has to hold two babies all the time. I have to hold two babies all the time. Like, there's no one to pass that off to, right? Like, how does that even work? You think, like, is one always waking up the other three at night? Like, literally, there's no sleep. I would think. I mean, cows have lots of udders, but, you know, I don't think there's four. I don't even know how it works. It just seems impractical. I think that the only way those things happen is when people are doing the test tube stuff. Okay? Because with the test tube thing, they fertilize, like, in some cases in the past, they fertilize, like, three, four, five eggs, and then they'll shoot them all and hope that one sticks. And then it's like, you know, and of course that's more dangerous with the pregnancy and the birth. I'm totally against that. I don't really agree with that. I don't think you should do that. But at the same time, you know, if you did that, I'm not going to kill you or something. I'm not going to crucify you. Numbers chapter 30, look at verse 6. The Bible says, And if she had at all an husband, when she vowed, or uttered out of her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, and her husband heard it, and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it, then her vows shall stand, and her bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall stand. But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it, then he shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect, and the Lord shall forgive her. I like how God describes marriage. Men can just do whatever they want. But here's the thing. So if a wife says to God, like think about Hannah. She prayed unto the Lord. She asked of the Lord. She said, hey, if you give me a child, I'll lend them unto the Lord. I'll give them unto the Lord. If Elkanah, and it doesn't have to be the day that Hannah said it. It's the day that Elkanah hears about it. It's the day that he knows about it. If he heard that, he could say like, no, that's not going to happen. And what does the Bible say? Whose opinion does God respect? The man. He says it's of none effect. Zero. And meaning when she ends up breaking whatever vow, or she doesn't do what she said because the husband said no, God's not going to hold that against her. God's not going to do anything to her as a result of this. There's no consequence. There's no ramification for having not fulfilled that vow. But if for some reason a wife decides to make some decision, and the husband says no, well, he can do that. You know, if the wife says, hey, I'm going to put beans and chili, the husband can say no. Right? I mean, I'm just telling you what the Bible is saying here. And you know, when it comes to food, the only preferences that matter, the only person's opinion that matters should be the husband anyways. You know, I'm really opinionated. Okay? And I'm very picky when it comes to food. And I have weird views on food, okay? Not everybody's going to agree with me. That's why I said literally on day one, and some of you can testify this, day one of me being your pastor, I said I don't like ranch dressing, tea, and coffee. Who heard me say that? Because I wanted to offend you as much as possible on the onset. I just wanted to get it out of the way and just say this so that you wouldn't hold it against me in the future when you learn later, okay? Now here's the thing. If you live in Texas and you don't like ranch, tea, and coffee, they're going to look at you like you're a weirdo. There was a literal commercial for paste salsa. Who knows what I'm talking about? Paste salsa. And they're asking where this salsa's coming from and this guy in the campfire. And he's like, where are you from? He's like, New York City. And they're like, New York City? And they're like, what's wrong with you? He's like, I'm born in New York. So I also told you I was born in New York, but I chose Texas, okay? All right? I'm a Yankee. I'm from the Union. I'm from the North, but I chose the South, all right? And you know what? It's more important to choose Texas than to be born in Texas, right? It's more important to choose to be a Baptist than to be born a Baptist. And the reality is sometimes I have really, really, really opinionated views. I've heard people say, like, their kids will sometimes pick up on my language, and I'm thinking, like, oh, man, that's weird, but it's kind of funny. They're like, hey, let's go to Whataburger. And they're like, no, Pastor Shelley says it's gross. And I'm like, I saved you, okay? But here's the thing. If Dad says we're going to eat Whataburger, they're going to eat Whataburger. Hey, I rip on Indian. I mean, if you know me, you know I rip on Indian food, okay? But here's the thing. If Dad wants Indian food, she's going to make him Indian food. And you know what? If they want yogurt on their rice, put yogurt on the rice. I mean, do it, right? Now, I can appreciate this because my dad has the weirdest food ever. Like, strange, okay? My dad would eat pineapple mayonnaise sandwiches. Who's ever eaten this or heard of this? Okay. Right. Because it's weird. There was literally nobody. I was shocked and horrified. I'm like, this is gross. You're gross. Like, there's nothing, like, and you know, I'm kind of over the top about this stuff. I'm not, like, trying to offend him. I'm just thinking, like, I'm trying to help him. Like, this is weird, dude. Okay. My dad puts salt on his watermelon, which, who does that? I know some, yeah, you're weird, too. He does all kinds of weird things. He puts peanuts in Coke. Okay. And then he eats the peanuts out of the Coke and he ruins the Coke completely. Okay. My dad just, and my dad's food preferences are just strange. He eats every, he likes everything bland with no flavor, no, like, just the most basic thing. It's like, you go to a Mexican restaurant, he just wants a meat and cheese taco. You go to an American restaurant, I just want a plain cheeseburger. I mean, it's just like, he refuses to eat any Asian cuisine, any, like, we had great Thai restaurants back home. We had great Asian cuisine. He wouldn't eat any of it. He just wants pinto beans, plain. Just, it's like, whatever. But you know what? It's his house. It's his wife. It's his choice. And whatever he wants. Now, here's the thing. Whatever my preferences are are going to be different than yours and vice versa. You may think things I like are weird. I think things you like are weird. And we can just both think that we're weird together. Food's really opinionated. People have really strong opinions. You know, and this is another thing that my dad liked. My dad liked the chocolate chip cookies that my mom would make burnt. I'm like, what's wrong with you? Like, I don't want to say, like, that's objectively wrong. Okay. But for some reason, this is how he liked it. And I'm like, you ruined all the cookies. There's all these great, wonderful chocolate chip cookies. And then you burnt them a little bit. And so finally I convinced my mom to take out the batch. Like, take out and put the good cookies aside. And then put the bad ones back in and burn them. Just so my dad could have some. But I'm like, it was frustrating that my dad would want burnt chocolate chip cookies. I'm thinking, like, what's wrong with you? But you know, that's how the world is. The world is, everybody has their burnt chocolate chip cookie. Everybody has their pineapple mayonnaise sandwich. And, you know, at the end of the day, don't try to force me to eat your burnt cookies and pineapple mayonnaise sandwich. Okay. And I won't force you to eat filet and, you know, things that I like, right? These horrible things that are good. You know, chili without beans in it or something. What a shocking experience you had to go through. Horrifying experience, right? Chocolate cake, you know, or something like that. But at the end of the day, yeah, obviously I think my food preferences are superior because I'm me. And you think yours are your way and every man gets to rule his own house. Every man should get to rule his own house so he sees fit. And if the wife says, I want to do this, the husband can say, no. If she even makes a vow to God, I swear to God, I'm going to do X, Y, and Z, the husband can say, no. Because it's my wife's body and it's my choice. I got a wife. I did not marry a business partner. I did not marry a boss. I didn't marry a boss babe. I just married a babe. You know what I mean? A wife babe. I got a trophy wife. That's what I got. Now go through it to 1 Corinthians chapter 14. Point one of the sermon is this. On due benevolence, it's my wife's body, but it's my choice. When it comes to children, it's my wife's body, but it's my choice. When it comes to my wife making vows and promises for her life, it's my wife's body, but it's my choice. When it comes to learning, when it comes to education, it is my wife's body. Let me explain something to you. It is my choice. Now look at 1 Corinthians 14 and look at what it says in verse 34. For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace as in all churches of the saints. Let your women keep silence in the churches, for it is not permitted unto them to speak. But they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home for it is a shame for women to speak in the church. The Bible says when women want to learn the Bible, when women want to understand the word of God, that they are to ask their husband. And their husband is to be the one to instruct them, to guide them, to teach them, and to help them to grow and to learn. It is not her choice on how to learn the word of God. It is my choice on how she learns the word of God. Now that does not mean, and what I'm not saying, is that she is limited to my knowledge, she's limited to my understanding, she's limited to my instruction, she's limited to my choices. So if I want my wife to learn something in the Bible that I don't understand, or that I am not fully capable of explaining, I can recommend to her, provide her with the ability to access those resources. My wife is not limited to my knowledge. My wife can be much smarter and have much more understanding than me. But at the end of the day, I get to decide which sources she is going to reference, what information she's going to learn, who she's going to listen to, and who she's not going to listen to. And I believe, and I think the Bible sets the same precedent, that this would extend to all areas of learning. That when my wife wants to learn something, that I should have the authority to help her decide where she's getting that information. And not that she can, on her own, just read any feminist book, any feminist blog, go ask Oprah or whatever she wants, or go ask some divorcee, whatever her opinion is. No, no, no. I want to vet the sources of information that are flowing to my wife. And that makes logical sense. And I have made decisions like this. Now, one of the things I did, I made my wife read the book called The Bridge at Andow. She would have never read that book if I didn't make her. But I wanted her to read it. And so I just said, hey, here's the book, read it. And you know what she did? She read it. It was great. It was a cool experience, okay. Now, I didn't have to sit down and read it to her. She's not limited to me explaining it to her. I let her read the book. But I wanted her to read it, okay. Here's another thing. She used to, a long time ago, this was like, I feel like a decade, maybe I'm wrong on the timeline. She would listen, or she would read this blog called The Matt Walsh Blog. And sometimes, some of the things that he would say were good. Some of the things he said I agreed with. He's conservative, he's pro big family, a lot of things. But here's the thing, he's Catholic. And occasionally, she would bring up something that she had read and she's sharing this with me. And I said, you know what, I want to find out who this guy is. And I started reading about him and studying. And I was like, oh, this guy is a Catholic. He has a lot of weird views. And then I ended up telling her, I don't want you to read his blog anymore because he's kind of poisoning your mind with bad views and bad ideas. And I told her I didn't want her to read that anymore, and she didn't. And why? It's my wife's body, but it's my choice. I don't want you reading his junk right now. Because I've looked it up, I've vetted it, and I don't think it's a good source. You know, if he was just giving random advice, okay, but he's putting a lot of like Bible into it and Catholicism and false doctrine. And false doctrine poisons the mind. I don't want my wife getting poisoned by some Catholic subverting her and causing her to have weird ideas and weird views. So you know what, I'm telling her that's not a good source of information. You know, if she wants to listen to certain people, Pastor Anderson and Pastor Jimenez and other men of God that I like and are good guys, go for it. Knock yourself out. Hey, you want to go to the library and read books. Hey, you want to learn about how to cook and clean and all this kind of stuff, and you want to watch videos from people. That's great. But you know what, I reserve the right that if I don't like somebody, if I don't like their methods, she's like, hey, I was watching this video on how to make Indian food. Shut it off. You know what I mean? It's like, hey, no, not for me. That's for the other guy. Now look, I looked up, I was just curious. I looked up like top cuisines by country, and somehow India is like always in the top five. So maybe I'm wrong. OK, but I but it doesn't matter because for my personal preferences, I'm right. Even if I'm wrong, maybe India has good food. It's not the guys that are cutting the meat with their toes, though. I'll tell you that. Go with the first Timothy two back. Go back to this and I'll finish my my last point here. But point one, do benevolence. It's my wife's body, but it's my choice. Point two, it's children. It's my wife's body. It's my choice. Point three, when she makes a vow, it's my wife's body, but it's my choice. Point number four, it's my wife's body when it comes to learning. You know what? It's still my choice. And here's the last one is in serving God. When it comes to serving God, it is my wife's body. But to some degree, it's my choice. And what's one of these? Look at verse nine. And like men are also that the woman adorn themselves in modest apparel. With shame faces and sobriety, not with broided hair or gold or pearls or costly array. I believe that the husband has right to tell his wife what she can and cannot wear. Because that's part of serving God. I don't want to allow my wife to come to church not in modest apparel. I want her to come to church in appropriate conservative clothing. I don't want her to dress like a whore. I don't want her to dress like Hillary Clinton. I don't want her to dress like a witch. I want her to dress like a godly conservative woman. And you know what? I still want her to be beautiful. I still want her to be attractive. I don't want her to be like this Amish weird garb. But at the same time, she can be wearing modest apparel. She's not wearing some bright, shining, glowy prom dress or something like that. You know those churches where the pastor and the pastor's wife, it's just like pastor and pastor's so-and-so. They're like wearing these like thousand dollar suits and thousand dollar dresses and whatever. And it's about a show, you know. There's a certain demographic where it's all about the dress when you go to church. Go over to Genesis chapter 3. Genesis chapter number 3. You know, when it comes to serving God, it is my wife's body, but it's my choice. Here's something that people don't realize, but I'll just make it clear. Because some things when it comes to dress are not sinful. It's just preference. And even the way they fashion themselves. Hair or whatever. But I do not believe, and I don't think it's wrong at all, if a woman wears makeup. If a woman wears makeup, that's her prerogative. That's her preference. I don't think there's anything sinful about it. I'm not going to disparage a woman for doing it. There's nothing in the Bible that says that they can't. But I personally don't like makeup on my wife. I think that she's so beautiful there's nothing to cover up. You know, you don't need cover up for her. She's already exactly how I like her, and so I tell her not to wear makeup. Now here's the thing. If I didn't tell her to do that, she still likes it. She still prefers it, and she would want to. But I'm telling her, and she doesn't do it. You know what that means? That it's my wife's body, but it's my choice. You know what that means? That she's submitting to me, that she's being subject to me. That even though she doesn't even agree or want to, she's doing what I want because I'm her husband! And you know what? That's how a good marriage is, where husbands tell their wives to do things, and they just do it even if they don't agree. And sometimes even men do things for their wives that they don't want to do because they want to please their wife. Any time you've ever caught me at a shopping mall or anywhere, it was not what I wanted to do. In fact, a lot of the clothes that I wear, I probably would have never picked it out. But at the end of the day, my wife likes it. My wife wants me to wear that, and I'm just like, yeah, let's put it on! Let's do it! Let's go! Because, you know, there's a give and take in marriage. But at the end of the day, when it comes to authority, we are seeing what the Bible is saying. The husband's holding the authority. Now, Genesis chapter 3, look at verse 16. Under the woman he said, That sounds like rules. Like, don't wear makeup. And then she doesn't wear makeup. That's a rule. I literally rule over my wife. And that's one thing. Now again, if your husband says, I like that, or I want you to do that, then do it. If he says, don't wear green, don't wear red, don't wear blue, then don't do it. Like, you can make arbitrary rules if you want. I'm not suggesting you should do that, because it might be weird. But at the end of the day, the husband is to rule over his wife. Don't watch or listen to the Matt Walsh blog. Don't do it. Don't put beans in the chili. Don't burn the cookies! Okay? I get to make rules for my house. I get to decide things for my house. I get to decide things for my wife's body. Because that's what the Bible has instructed me and given me this authority. Go to Genesis 18. We're really close. Genesis chapter 18. And when it comes to serving God, I'm going to make decisions that I think are going to help us as a family serve God. I think that my wife coming to church, just modestly and conservatively, is going to be positive for our spiritual growth and benefit. Genesis chapter 18 verse 19, the Bible says, For I know him, talking about Abraham, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord. Not only his children, his household. Abraham commands his household, and they follow his example. You know, it's not my wife's decision where we go to church. It's my decision. Go to Joshua 24. Her body will be in a seat in steadfast Baptist church, because you know what? It's my wife's body, but it's my choice. And we're going to be Baptists, and we're going to be fundamental Baptists, and we're going to be independent fundamental Baptists, and we're going to be new independent fundamental Baptists, and we're going to be King James only, and we're going to be soul winning. And you know what? We're going to believe in hard preaching, and we're going to go to a church where the man says it's my wife's body, but it's my choice. And I don't want this feminism crap creeping into my church and in my house. And you know what? I'm going to tell my wife and my children how we serve God. Get that NIV and throw it in the trash. Take your southern Baptist crap and throw it in the trash. Take your doctrinal statement that says we believe the originals and get a King James Bible. Get your repent of your sins and burn it, and get a repent by putting your faith in Jesus Christ's gospel. Instead of having your stupid lifestyle evangelism, get confrontational soul winning. Hey, as for me and my house, we're not going to sing Hillsong. We're going to sing I surrender in the hymnal. I surrender all in the hymnal. We're going to sing Jesus loves me. We're going to sing the B-I-B-L-E. We're going to sing to God be the glory. We're going to sing praise Him. We're going to sing the good old-fashioned hymns. We're going to sing oh holy night. We're going to sing holy, holy, holy. We're going to sing Psalm 139, and we're going to sing it loud. We're going to go to the church where there's protesters, and it's ugly, and there's drama, and the preacher gets mad, and he preaches too long. Sorry, I can't fix it, all right? She's stuck with me. You know what? That's the kind of church I'm going to go to, and that's the kind of attitude we need. We need men that are going to start making decisions again, and I'll tell you, it's real. It's real. Men say, man, I'd love to go to a steadfast Baptist church, but my wife won't let me. Man, I'd love to go to an IFB church that's hot and red fiery preaching and that has soul winning and that says that men are in charge, but my wife won't let me. But my wife doesn't want to go to that church. You know what? It's my wife's body, but it's my choice. Joshua 24, look at verse 15. And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your father served that were on the other side of the flood or the gods of the Amorites and whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. My wife will serve the Lord as long as she is my wife. My children will serve the Lord as long as they're under my roof. Now, if I'm dead or my children leave the house, they're going to get to the other side whatever they want. I hope they serve God, but I can't force them anymore. But you know what? I can force them right now. And you know what? I'm going to do that. Go to Romans 12 and we'll finish. Go to Romans chapter number 12. I know it's my wife's body, but I love her too much to not let her serve God. I know it's my wife's heart and I know it's my wife's desires and I know it's my wife's passions. But you know what? It's my choice and I'm going to try and make decisions that I know are better for her even if in the moment she doesn't agree, even at the timeline she doesn't agree. And let me tell you something. There's a lot of things about our life right now that 10 years ago would have probably shocked, horrified, and scared her to death. And I guarantee right now she's thankful and she's glad that we came down this path together. And you know what? There are things in our marriage, there are things in our relationship that she had right that I didn't have right. And I'm glad that she held me accountable and that I fixed things in my life too. Because you know what? I'm not better than her, but I'm the leader. And as the leader, I need to make sure that I'm taking our family where we need to go. And you know what? God didn't give me post-pardon. God didn't give me crazy hormones when we get pregnant. God didn't make me an indecisive woman. God made me a man. And as a man, I'm logical. As a man, I'm practical. As a man, I know what's going on in this world. And so I need to make the decisions. I need to be a leader. I need to step up to the plate and I need to say, hey, I know it's my wife's body, but it's my choice. Take your feminism crap and shove it because I don't want it. You've got to be partners and you've got to be 50-50 and you've got to see what she wants. No, no, no, no. I know. It's my wife's body, but it's my choice. And that's how life is going to work. And you say, ah, but what do you want? She wants. That's what she wants. Did that ever cross your mind? I mean, it'll just blow. Like, this is what actually causes feminist heads to explode. It's not what I'm saying. This is what causes her heads to explode. My wife's saying, like, I liked that sermon. I agree with that sermon. They're like, oh. They're like, these poor, oppressed women. It's like, dude, that's what she wants. She doesn't want a weak, effeminate man that she can push around and tell what to do all the day. She wants him every once in a while to grab the bull by the horns and show her who's the cowboy. We're in Texas, amen? Here's the thing. You say, like, oh, I don't like this message. Well, you know what? You're not going to like Christianity. Because you know what? The Bible says that we're in the same boat. We're the bride of Christ as a conglomerate. You know what? It's not our body. It's Christ's body. And it's not our choice. It's his choice. You know what? Our bodies are a living sacrifice to Jesus. A wife is supposed to be a model of how the church submits to Jesus Christ. And so I can take the same application. If you've been listening to me, like, I can't wait for my wife to do all of this. I can't wait for her to fix herself. No, no, no. Say, you know what? I am the bride of Christ. And I need to take everything I just heard and apply it to how I act with Jesus Christ. In the sense that it's his decision-making for me. What he wants me to do with my body. How he wants me to behave. He wants me to submit. He wants me to use myself. He wants me to have children. He wants me to make vows. When I say, I want to do this. But then the Bible says, no. Okay, I guess I'm going to do what the Bible says. When I want to learn something. And he says, no, no, no. Learn this. When I say, I want to serve something else. And he says, no, no, no. Serve God. Serve God. And we need Christ to drive the train. Not ourselves. And in the same vein. You're really showing your contempt for Jesus. For the things of God and Christianity. When you won't submit to your husband. Because we as the conglomerate, as a church. Are supposed to model how we serve Christ. And let me tell you something men. Sometimes women follow example. If your wife isn't the way you want her to be. Let me ask you. Are you the Christian that Christ wants you to be? Because I think the better Christian you are. I think that the more you're showing her the example. Of how you submit to what Christ wants in your life. The easier you will make it for your wife. Now you could be a perfect husband. You could still have a wife that makes bad decisions. Is rebellious. It exists. It's reality. It happens. But if you're wanting things to change. Try to be better yourself. Try to work on yourself. But at the same time. Please have the courage. Please have the bravery. Please have the mindset. Of saying I know it's my wife's body. But it is my choice. And start making choices. Start making decisions. Please rule over your wife. She wants it. God wants it. We all want it. Okay. Society doesn't think they want it. But they do want it. We don't like these loud mouth, obnoxious, bossy wives. Everybody can't stand it. Everybody is annoyed by it. Nobody wants it. And really they're just screaming. Someone rule over me. They're wanting that to happen. Do it. And you know what? We need women to be told where they're going to church. So that Steven Furtick can shut down. So that Joyce Meyer can shut down. So that a lot of these weak, effeminate, queer churches will shut down. Because frankly speaking. If you go to the Naan with me. You'll find tons of women there. More than men. And you'll find a lot of men that were drugged there by their wives. Not the other way around. You don't find a lot of alpha males going to these limp-wristed, weirdo, non-denominational type churches. It's a lot of beta males. It's a lot of guys drugged there by their wives that are not willing to lead. They basically just want to watch football and drink beer and not be nagged by their wife. So they just go to church every once in a while with her. But they don't care about the preaching. They don't care about the church. They're not plugged into stuff. And in fact, many of the men stay home and drink beer and watch football while their wife goes to some garbage church. Praise God for men that want to come to church more than to watch some game and act like a child. We need men to rise up today and to rule their houses and to rule their wives and to tell them what to do. And to say, hey, I know, honey. It's your body. But it's my choice. Let's close with a prayer. Thank you, Heavenly Father, so much for giving us wives. Thank you so much for giving us families. Thank you so much for giving men the authority and the ability to rule in their household. I pray that you would encourage men, that you would encourage the husbands to take that responsibility seriously. I pray that you would soften the hearts of wives, that you would help them to realize the need for them to give their husband power and authority. And I pray that anybody that's struggling, anybody that's having difficulty, that you would just encourage both the husband and the wife. That you would help the wives to be more submissive, to not fear giving and trusting their husbands with power and authority. And I pray that you would give a loving and a kind and a gentle heart unto men, that they could lead. But they would also have bravery and they would have a sense of authority and power and they could make good decisions for their family. I pray that we as a church would understand the leading and the prompting of the Holy Spirit and the guidance that comes from the Word of God. That we would become more submissive, that we would become better examples. That we would be living sacrifices, that we wouldn't do the things that we want with our body, but rather we would submit our bodies into the service of Christ. I pray that you would help bless us as we think about Christ and what He did for us this Christmas season. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Alright, in closing, let's go to song number 432. Song number 432. Angels from the realm of glory. Song number 432. Christ, sing it out and roll out on the first. Angels from the realms of glory. In your flight o'er all the earth. Ye who sing, creation's holy. Now proclaim Messiah's birth. Come and worship, come and worship, worship Christ the new-born King. Ten birds in the hill abiding, watching o'er your rocks by night. God with man its vow resigning, yonder shines the infant light. Come and worship, come and worship, worship Christ the new-born King. Changes paint your contemplations, brighter visions we might want. Seek the great desire of nations, He has seen His new star. Come and worship, come and worship, worship Christ the new-born King. Saints before the altar bending, watching long in fear and fear. Suddenly the Lord is sending, in His temple shall appear. Come and worship, come and worship, worship Christ the new-born King. Let's go ahead and sing one more verse of that. I like that last verse. Let's go ahead and sing it one more time together. Everybody sing it out. Last verse. Call it together real loud. Saints before the altar bending, watching long in fear and fear. Suddenly the Lord is sending, in His temple shall appear. Come and worship, come and worship, worship Christ the new-born King. Come and worship, come and worship, worship Christ the new-born King. Sister Nala coming for baptism. She's 13. When I say the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, you're going to hold your nose and dip you down and bring you back up, okay? Sister Nala, have you trusted Christ as your Savior? Then I baptize you in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, buried in the likeness of His death, raised to walk in newness of life. Make sure to congratulate our baptism. You guys are dismissed. You