(Disclaimer: This transcript is auto-generated and may contain mistakes.)

So the verse I wanted to focus on was here in verse number two, where the Bible says, I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way. Oh, when wilt thou come unto me, I will walk within my house with a perfect heart. Now I love Psalms 101. It has a lot of great verses in it. We even looked at verse three earlier this morning and in verse number two, David's talking about behaving himself wisely. Now when it comes to behavior, there's a lot of different ways that we can look at this. Obviously, the primary context here is the fact that David followed God's commandments, that he was in good behavior in context of following God's rules and all of his commandments. But we can even extend that further in the fact that he's just behaving himself in a good way, in a good manner, and people like David. He's highly respected of the children of Israel. So I want to go a little bit beyond just following the commandments as far as just that strict interpretation, because obviously everything we should do should just be following God's commandments. However, not everything is spelled out black and white. Sometimes we have to take the principle of the commandment and still apply them in our lives. I've noticed that a lot of people struggle in some of these areas, unless you just point it out to them point blank. So that's what this evening's sermon is going to be. It's how to avoid being socially awkward. How to avoid being socially awkward. Now here's the thing. Some people are just extremely socially awkward. They need to take heed to this sermon and checkmark every single one of these. I need to fix. Some of us who might actually be a very sociable person and very well liked, there still might be a few things that we can pick up and say, yeah, maybe I should tighten that one or fix this one. You say, where do you get the idea? Well, first of all, people need to get better at just social interaction in general. But I went online and I found an article or maybe it was just a post, I don't know. Some guy posted just a dozen plus things or maybe even 40 different things that he thought would really improve social awareness. And as going through the list, I identified that almost everything he said is virtually what the Bible teaches. It's just more in the context of the principle. It's not going to spell it out per se, but you can find the exact same principle mentioned in the Bible. There was a couple that I didn't really feel like jives, so I just threw them out. But virtually everything that I found, I think I could find a biblical principle to support this idea. And I just liked the fact that he's just spelling it out point blank. So we're going to take a dive through the Bible and most of it's Proverbs because Proverbs just has a lot of good wisdom on how to behave ourselves. And David and Solomon were both very wise. They spoke a lot of Proverbs. And truly, if you read the Bible, you study the Bible, you pay attention to how people behave themselves, you will be good in social interactions, okay? Now go if you would to Proverbs chapter 18, Proverbs chapter 18. The number one advice that he gives as far as how to avoid being socially awkward, and I don't know who the author is. It doesn't matter because it's just, I agree with what he's saying. It says giving advice when it's not asked for, okay? This is something to avoid. If you're just giving advice to people when they have not asked for it, it comes across rude, arrogant, prideful, and annoying. I don't want you to come give me advice that I did not ask for. What do people do? They'll come up to you and say, hey, I just want to let you know this is what you should say to your kids, or this is how you should handle your wife situation, or hey, you need to fix this. And you're just like, I didn't ask for you to help me. Hey, you shouldn't get a Ford truck. You know, I think that but, you know, hey, you shouldn't wear that shirt. Hey, you shouldn't do these things. Look, when people are just coming up to you and giving you solutions to problems that you didn't ask for anything on, it comes across rude. You say, well, I was trying to help out people. That's because you have a problem, okay? If you go around just offering advice to people that's unprovoked, that's not asked for, they're annoyed by you. They don't like you giving them advice. You know when you should give people advice? When they ask for it. When they want you to give them advice. And there's gonna be people in your life that are constantly giving you advice in your life and you never asked for it. You're just like, I don't like this person. But look what it says in Proverbs 18 verse two, a fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself. The Bible tells us that foolish people, their number one agenda is to hear themselves speak. They think that they've arrived. They love their own wisdom. They're conceited and they think that everything they believe is correct and right. And they're so convinced that they want to go around and give advice to people that have not asked for it. Why? Because they just want to end up discovering their heart unto you. They just want to just tell you how they would handle these things. Oh, you ordered a water with lemon in it? You have lemon in your water? Oh man, let me tell you all about lemons. I don't want to know about the lemons. I didn't ask about that. I'm good ordering the water. You shouldn't order the water here. I don't want to know all of your advice and every opinion you have. It becomes very socially awkward. So honestly, you should not just offer advice to people when they don't want it, when they're not asking for it. If people want advice, I promise you, they'll ask you. If they really care to know your opinion, they'll ask you for your opinion. Otherwise you just need to keep your mouth shut or you're going to be coming across very socially awkward. When I think about people that I don't want to be in their presence of, it's one who's constantly trying to tell me what to do. Hey, pastor, I think you should do this. I didn't ask what I could do. Hey, I think you should do this in this situation. Okay, I didn't want to know that. I'm not interested. I'm not going around just asking you what do you think I should do. Now obviously, I'm not saying that sometimes there isn't a time and a place to say, hey, would we ever be willing to do this or that or just offering something? But again, you have to understand that if you're going around constantly just giving people advice when unprovoked, it's going to be a bad day. On this same topic though, they said somebody who's always one upping someone else's story. This is a socially awkward person. You say, man, I went out and I got one saved today. Well, we got two. Well, you know, it was really cool. I got this Catholic saved. I got a Jew saved. And it's like, okay, I got a reprobate saved. Okay, sure, I believe you, you know, it is always up to one up. How do you beat that? I got the devil saved, you know, it's like, you know, there's people out there and there's just no matter what they say, they just have to one up it, you know, whatever you did, they did it further and they went somewhere, they did it better. You know, one time I dunked on a 12 foot goal, you know, well, mine was 13 foot, you know, I did it with two hours tied by my back, you know, there's just some people they just have to one up every single story. It's super annoying. Let other people have their day. Let other people have a 15 minutes of fame, okay? You got one saved. Great. Praise the Lord. That's wonderful. You'd have to be like, well, I got 10 saved, you know, in 20 minutes. No, you didn't Doug Trowbridge, get out of here. Look, socially awkward people are going to probably check every single one of these things off. Okay. So you say, oh, I have to up one up someone's story don't, you know, even if, even if it's true, sometimes it's just better to keep your mouth shut. Even if you did something better or greater, imagine my kid comes and draw comes and shows me a picture that they drew. I could draw better than that. What is this? You know, you really think their arms are that skinny? You know, let me show you how to do look, that's going to that's going to discourage them from wanting to come and talk to you or doing things. Don't be this one upper. Let other people, you know, have a good time and enjoy their lives too. Here's a bad one. Looking at your phone when having a conversation. I mean, what if I just Hey, hold on, guys. That's funny. This is cool. Yeah. Oh, are y'all interested? Oh, nevermind. What? Did you say something? It gets really annoying really quick. And if you're going to have a good conversation with somebody, you need to look them in the eye and talk to them. The number four thing he says not looking the other person in the eye when speaking to them. If you don't make eye contact, it makes them feel awkward. You need to make eye contact. Now, you can make too much eye contact. Because if you're just like staring at the person, and you're, you know, sometimes it starts beginning a little awkward, if they're looking at their phone. So obviously, you want to make it natural, right? You need to look at people in the eye, look at other things constantly come back looking at the eye, you don't want to stare at them. Or you don't want to look past them. If you just kind of look a little bit past them. They're kind of like, you know, what are you looking at? You know, what's over there, you know, like you want to just you need to make eye contact. If you're in a job interview, make eye contact. Listen to the other person speaking. Don't pull out your phone in the middle of an interview, bad idea. Don't be one upbringing the interviewer, you know, don't be doing all these type of things. Don't start giving advice to your employer, when they didn't ask for it. Don't give advice to the person who's interviewing you when they didn't ask for it. Okay. And look, who does this type of thing, the fool, the fool who just wants his heart to be discovered. He's just only interested in himself. Notice what it said, the fool has no delight in understanding. When you pull out your phone, it makes it seem like you're not interested in what they have to say. Why I'm only interested in communicating with you as long as I'm the one talking. As soon as I'm done talking, I'm whatever. Hey, you want me to tell you about my story again? Are you interested in my story again? No, I'm not interested in your story. Okay. We as humans are very selfish. We like to be the one in control of the conversation. We like to get all of our stories told and share all of our ideas. And it's a little bit of a foolish attitude to just constantly just always have to speak. If you just sit and listen, you're going to be unique as a person and people enjoy being around you. You know, you enjoy the most people that listen to your stories and care about what you have to say. They pay attention. They look at you in the eye. I like this person. I like being around this person. You know, they don't like being around someone that doesn't look at them when they're speaking. They're constantly looking at their phone. They're over talking you. They're giving you advice that you didn't ask for and they're constantly one-upping the story that you have. The only time they're listening is just to figure out how to one-up it. That's the only point in them even listening to this story. So again, if you want to be socially awkward, do all those things. If you don't, you need to avoid them. You need to figure out how to keep your mouth shut, okay, and listen to other people, pay attention to what they're saying. Go to Proverbs chapter 14 and look at verse 20. So that was the first section of things that he had mentioned. I think they're all great. I think they all kind of relate to the verse that we looked at. They have that principle that's there, okay. Here's another principle we can find in the Bible. Proverbs 14 verse 20. The poor is hated even of his own neighbor, but the rich have many friends. Now you have to understand something about the book of Proverbs, okay. Proverbs is just truth and reality, okay, as far as what? This is just how the world works. Everything in the Proverbs is completely true, okay. That does not necessarily mean this is how you should behave yourself, okay. So should I hate the poor? No. Is it reality? Yes, okay. People just despise the poor naturally, okay. Why? Because it's annoying. It's annoying when the poor person's always just trying to get money out of you. It makes you question if you have a real friendship with this type of a person. The advice I saw online in this snippet of information said, someone who's always showing up empty-handed. So you have some kind of a banquet, you have some kind of a party, some kind of a ... They're always showing up empty-handed. It's just kind of annoying. It's kind of like you don't really want to have that person over. You have a gift exchange, well, we didn't bring anything. You have a party, well, we didn't bring anything, but we did bring an appetite. We're ready to eat. We just didn't bring anything. And look, there's a time and a place to show up empty-handed. And if you're less privileged, whatever, but I have to help you understand that you're going to become socially awkward when you're always that person who's just taking. You're just a user. You just use other people to help yourself out. If you're not actually giving, it's going to end up causing you to be a little bit socially awkward. Another way this looks is what they say is trying to sell anything and everything to your friends. Some people are shameless about this on Facebook. Literally their Facebook is just a glorified sales pitch. They're just inviting everybody to buy their crap, whether that be candles or pots or pans or picture books. I don't know. It doesn't really matter, the gadget or the gizmo. It's all the same pyramid scheme. And honestly, that's an annoying friend. You just say, I don't really want to be your friend. When someone calls you up and invites you to a party to then buy their merchandise, you start wondering, are you really my friend or make sure to bring cash. When you come to my party that I'm inviting you to buy cookware or a candle. And look, you know what? I'm not saying that this is a sin or wrong, but if that's the only time you ever call this person to hang out, they're going to quickly realize you're not really my friend. I haven't talked to you in three years, but you invited me to come buy your merchandise at your house. You're starting to like, I don't know if you're really my friend. Keep your finger and go to Judges chapter 14. There's someone that actually has this description in the Bible. And it's a common, it's common, unfortunately, today's world that a lot of people, they don't really have friends. They just use people. They just are in it for whatever they can get out of it for themselves. And that's not really a true friend. In the book of Judges, Samson has someone like this. Look at Judges chapter 14, verse 20. But Samson's wife was given to his companion whom he had used as his friend. So Samson actually had somebody that just used him as a friend. And look, there's going to be a lot of people that just use you and abuse you, and you don't want to be that same type of person. So how do I avoid that, Pastor Shelley? Well, don't just invite people to do things where they're just buying your merchandise. That's going to make you seem extremely awkward, extremely socially uncomfortable. I don't want to be around that person. I'm going to end up distancing myself from a person where every time I'm talking to them, it's always about selling me something. It's always about trying to get me to buy something or to purchase something or to give them money. Hey, how's it going, Pastor Shelley? Great sermon. Do you have 20 bucks? Do you have 100 bucks? Can I, you know, it starts kind of rubbing you the wrong way. It's like, was that a good sermon? Oh, Pastor Shelley, that was the greatest sermon that I've ever heard. Can I get 100 bucks? It's like, was it the greatest sermon that you've ever heard? Some people, they show up and all they ever want is money. And look, that's going to make you socially awkward. Now, here, I'm not saying that asking somebody for money or being on hard times is, you know, sometimes that happens and you just got to ask people for help. And we should help people and we shouldn't look down upon someone that does that. We shouldn't treat them differently for needing that. I'm just helping you understand that not everybody's going to have the same grace as your brothers and sisters in this room, in Christ. And if you're just going around just constantly asking for money and trying to use people like this, they won't really want to be around you. They really won't want to be your friend. They won't want to invite you to do things, okay? Go ahead to Proverbs 18, go back to Proverbs chapter 18. Let's look at another principle here. We don't want to just use people. You know, a friend should be someone that's willing to go above just tit for tat, repaying good for good. A friend should be someone that's willing to take a little buffer here, extend a little bit of grace towards our problems and our inconveniences, whereas the person that's just looking to get a quick buck off you, when the hard times fall, they're going to be the first one to desert you. You're going to realize that person wasn't a friend, they were a user. They were just someone pretending to be my friend, but they're not really. A true friend is going to help you in hard times, is going to be that shoulder to cry on, is going to bear your burdens, is going to tolerate your social awkwardness. They're going to tolerate your problems and your issues and extend grace unto you. Look at Proverbs chapter 18, verse 24. A man that hath friends must show himself friendly. And there's a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. If you want to have friends, you have to put yourself out there. The advice in this article was standing against the wall by yourself in a social setting. That will never make you friends. If you want friends, you have to get them. You have to acquire them. Friends don't naturally just show up. You have to end up befriending someone, doing good unto them. I like the analogy that God gives us about how we love him. We love him because he first loved us. So if you want to have good friends, you know what you have to do? You have to be friendly to people that are not necessarily friendly back to you. And maybe eventually they'll end up becoming your friend. But a lot of times it doesn't work. Some people get so burnt out, they're just like, fine, the wall be my friend. He's not going to desert me. He's got my back. You know, at the end of the day, you know what, you're just going to live in isolation. It's not a fun life. And you end up becoming socially awkward when you just withdraw yourself from every setting. And it's going to impact your life. You're not going to be as good a soul winner when you can't communicate with other people. You're not going to be as good on the job. You're not going to be good working in a team environment. A lot of jobs today require you to be in a team environment unless you're Duncan. Okay. He told us he likes working alone. So, you know, I guess that helps him with his social awkwardness, you know, sitting by himself, you know, just delivering packages. Maybe he can say hi to every one of his customers. Okay. But you need to put yourself out there and make some friends. I mean, maybe we'll even get to meet his wife one day, you know, I'm just kidding. I'm picking on Duncan, all right. He can take it. But another thing that was in this context was not calling people who are important to you. You know, you're going to lose friendships when you don't continually reach out to them, talk to them, communicate with them, you know, that that friendship will slowly deteriorate into nothing. If you want to have friends, it takes work. You got to talk to people, you got to call them, you got to put an effort, whether that's friends, family, you got to put yourself out there, you say, hey, Pastor Shelley, I've gotten burned. You're all going to get burned. Jesus, you know, friend betrayed him to death. Okay. Didn't work out with Judas, but he had a lot of other good friends like John and Peter and James. And so if you put yourself out there, you'll have friends burn you and misuse you and abuse you. But you know what? You'll end up getting good friends, too. And there's a friend that's taken closer than a brother, that's Jesus Christ. So you got him and your brothers and sisters in Christ will be there to help you. Now go if you would to Genesis chapter number four, Genesis chapter number four. Another problem that you could have in acquiring friends or being socially awkward is simply your body language. And I want to do a whole sermon on this at some point in the future, but I'm going to just touch on it briefly. Genesis chapter four, look at verse five, but unto Cain and his offering, he had not respect and Cain was very wroth and his countenance fell. And the Lord said unto Cain, why art thou Roth? And why is thy countenance fallen? Now countenance means your face. God, just by looking at Cain could tell there was a problem. And let me tell you something. Women are excellent at this, okay? Women can tell what you're feeling just by looking at you. They can just look at you and know that you're upset, that you're happy, that you don't care about them, whatever, you know, whatever emotion it is that you're feeling, somehow they can just stare at you and just instantly just know. They can look at their kids and they can know if their kids are guilty, lying, whatever they've done. And look, men can do this too, but women just have a gift here, okay? Why? Because it's real. You know when you're just naturally happy, you're just going to be smiling. And when you're just kind of an upset person, you just kind of have, which I'm not going to say it, but you know, RBF, all right? If you don't know what I'm talking about, don't worry about it. And some people say, oh, that's just what I have naturally. No, that just means you're an upset person. I don't believe in that garbage. The Bible teaches that you can smile and you need to smile. And if you're not smiling often, there's something wrong. And you know, sometimes you can see it. I can see it on people's faces. Sometimes you just see somebody and they just seem gloom that week. They just seem a little down that week. And at the end of the day, if that's your persona, like they're just like, that's that person, just has that kind of a face, you don't want to be around that person. The person is just always kind of like, you know, you don't want to, you don't end up wanting to approach that type of a person. You know, sometimes you look at your boss and you're like, he just doesn't seem like the person I want to approach. It's probably because he has a mean scowl on his face or something. It's just like, you know. The way that you present your body language will actually affect your social interactions. If you're a welcoming, warming person with a smile on your face, more people are going to want to talk to you. More people are going to want to be your friend. More people are going to have a good interaction with you than when you're just constantly giving them a scowl while you're looking at them. Try giving someone a scowl while they're trying to tell you an important story. They're going to quit instantly. What's wrong? What's wrong? Did I say something? They can't even get through a story. Why? Because your face matters. God could just look at Cain and know, hey, there's a problem here. Why is your countenance fallen? There's a reason why it has. It's not like, well, that's just how you made me. No, there's a problem here. What's your problem? You need to fix your problem. You say, I want to fix my face, fix your problems. That's how you do it. Let me give you a lot more verses because I don't want to just take one verse and run with it. Go to Psalms 42. You know, if you just let the Lord be your joy, the joy of the Lord is my strength, then you can just be a happy person. It's not fun being around people that are just upset and just constantly annoyed and just everything's a downer. You end up just wanting to withdraw from this person. Okay. Psalms 42, look at verse 11. Why art thou cast down on my soul and why art thou disquieted within me? Hope thou in God, for I shall yet praise him who is the health of my countenance and my God. So if you have RBF, you know what, you need to make God your joy and the health of your countenance. He'll fix your face. If you love God and you have children that you can just rejoice in, look, count your blessings. If you can just count your blessings and you have all these great things, why is your countenance falling there? Cain, what's your problem? Put a smile on your face. Let the Lord be the health of your countenance. Okay. Go to chapter 43. Just look right on the same page. Look at verse number five. Why art thou cast down on my soul and why art thou disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise him who is the health of my countenance and my God. Hey, he put the same thing in the Bible again. You know why? Because you need to fix your face. You need to be a happy person. God's people should be happy. When someone visits Steadfast Baptist Church, they should say, man, they all seem really happy. They're really joyful. I want their God. I want their religion. I want their church. Then people just being like, you're to die today, you're a hundred percent sure you go to heaven. It's like, I don't know what you're selling, but I don't want it. You know, why can't you just look a little bit more happy? Have a little bit more of a good countenance on your face. It'll cause people to like you more. It'll cause me to like you more personally. Proverbs chapter 15. Proverbs 15. Turn to write in your Bible. Look at verse 13. You say, well, I just can't smile, Pastor Shelley. That's just not who I am. Well, here's how you smile. Proverbs chapter 15. Look at verse 13. A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart, the spirit is broken. The problem is you don't have enough merry in your heart. You need to have some joy in your heart and you need to allow that joy to be God because you know what? He'll never leave thee. He'll never forsake thee. He'll never let you down. There's always a great reason to be excited about every day. If you're thinking the context of the Lord, if you're thinking the context of the news, you're going to always be upset. I mean, if I wake up in the morning and watch the news, I'm not going to have a good countenance on my face. When have you ever watched the news and it was ever positive? It's never positive. It's never about these people are happy. Look at all the people that got saved by Steadfast Baptist Church this morning. We're going to put a report and in Steadfast Baptist Church got, you know, 15 people saved on Sunday. Praise the Lord. They're still meeting. They're still meeting in church, you know, praise God, you know, did you check out this really cool documentary that they made? You know, we still got the King James Bible, more King James Bible being printed than ever. You know, they're not going to report on that. It's like these people died and this person got arrested for being a drug addict and this prostitute and this is being destroyed and the Republicans are terrible and the Democrats are terrible and everything's dying and we're all failing and everybody's bankrupt and this company's going under and just like, but there's a new iPhone. It's just like, okay, so that you can check out more of this terrible news and it's like, it's insane. You need to just open your Bible and read about all the great things that God's done for you and look at your children and look at your spouse and look at all the good things you have and just be like, hey, I have a reason to smile today. Every day ending in Y was made by the Lord. You know, this is the day that the Lord hath made. I'll rejoice and be glad in it. You know how it's going to make you smile, singing praises to God, say, I don't smile enough. We'll sing a song in the morning about the Lord saying, you know, it's really hard to frown when you're singing praises to God, you know, it's really hard to smile when you're watching the news. So I know how to fix that. And if you don't smile enough, you know, I'm telling you, you can fix it. And if you don't fix it, people are going to find you socially awkward. Another aspect of this that we've been looking at though, go to Matthew chapter six. I want to look at another verse. People don't want to approach you, not just because of your smile or lack of smile or the countenance. It could just be your hygiene is an issue. And man, you know, if you want to be social, the most socially awkward or what the people that smell bad, if someone walks up to me and they smell like a trash can, I want to leave. I mean, it's bad. And there's all kinds of people that do that. You know, you walk up to people and it smells like they've never bathed. They don't wash their clothes is the quickest. The number one, if I was going to say, what's the number one, most offensive thing it's usually smell, right? I can kind of get past your glum face, but if you, if you reek, I mean, I'm done. I want to get out of there as quick as possible. Look at Matthew chapter six, verse number 17, but that one, thou fastest anoint thy head and wash thy face. So whenever you're fasting, you're still supposed to bathe yourself and have good hygiene. So as to what, not make it appear like you're fasting. Another thing is, Hey, you just just wash your face constantly. So it doesn't appear like you've never bathed. Like you don't take care of yourself. You need to wash your clothes and you have good hygiene. If you don't have good hygiene, people won't like you. People will avoid you. People won't want to be near you. You end up becoming the smelly kid. There were smelly kids in my school. In the public school system, there was the kid, everybody's like, that's the smelly kid. And you know what? Sometimes it's not their fault. It's their parents' fault for not teaching them good hygiene and forcing them to take a shower and a bath. But I didn't enjoy going into the men's locker room in junior high and high school. It reeked. You only went in there because you had to go in there. I didn't like opening my hockey bag after any amount of time of practice. It reeks. If you want to get away from someone's presence quickly, it's smell. Smell is such a quick detractor and you need to take care of your body. It says not taking care of yourself will cause people to not want to be around you. Not fixing body issues that distract people from your message as well. This could go beyond just your physical hygiene and just the way you prepare yourself. I've had some guys come up in the preaching class and their shirt is like, it looks like they wadded it up and just rolled it around, you know, on the ground and then put it on. And I'm just thinking like, all I can think about is how terrible your shirt looks while you're preaching. Like, I don't even care. You might be preaching the best sermon I've ever heard. Iron your shirt. You know, you should dress in a way that's not distracting. If I have a big, you know, disgusting picture on my shirt, you're going to be paying attention to that rather than me or what I'm doing. Women that dress like whores, you know, they're going to end up causing attention to the themselves in a way that they don't want attention to themselves. And this makes you socially awkward. If you dress like a whore, treat it like a whore. If you dress like an idiot, treat it like an idiot. Okay. If you're dressing like a punk, you're going to be treated like a punk. Most people, if you're going to look at their social status, it was based on how they dressed. Think about the preppy kids, the punk kids, the kids that smell, you know, then you just have like basically, you know, the people that are like military, the people that are fags. I mean, just how you dress is so important. It affects how people interact with you. They look at you and it determines how they're going to treat you. You know, when I walk into the ghetto dressed like a normal man, baddest, they give me respect. If I go in there dressed with my pants hanging down and whatever, they're not going to give me respect. They're not going to treat me nice. You know, I don't have to fear. I don't go in those areas thinking that I'm going to get jumped and taken advantage of. Look, we ought to dress in the right way, in an appropriate manner. And if you dress in a really gross way or you just don't take care of yourself, people won't want to come and approach you. People won't want to talk to you. If I'm wearing shorts that only, you know, go down to here, you probably won't want to come up and talk to me. You probably wouldn't want to get real close to me. You know what? If I'm dressed like a man, you don't even think about it. That's not even a thought. You should dress in a way so as people don't think about it. That's my goal in dressing. My goal in dressing is for you to have no thoughts about what I'm wearing, the least amount of thoughts. The more you want people to think about how you're dressed is probably a sin. That's not being modest. Whether that being, you know, Amish or that being a whore, it doesn't matter. You're constantly thinking about what they're wearing. And today people are going to be really self-conscious. I mean, people who knew that her jobs would be like what people are supposed to wear today. You know, with all these face masks and everything going on. I mean, apparently the hot jobs in people have to like guard themselves from all these germs and whatever. Look, that makes me not want to approach you. Isn't it weird how someone wearing all that makes me want to not come up and talk to them? Whereas a person just dressed normal, you feel more comfortable coming up and talking to them and looking at them. How you dress is extremely important. Go to Psalms chapter 131, Psalms 131. You need to brush your teeth, take a shower. And you know, just in general, don't get too close to people anyways. Obviously I'm not saying that we have to get the six foot rule or whatever, but sometimes people just get really close to you. I remember even, even in good churches, okay. I'm not going to name names, but there was a church I went to that was very similar to this church. Okay. And there was a guy that I was friends with, but man, he would get close when talking to me. I don't want to be that. I keep backing up. He keeps getting closer. He's just like, you know, Hey, Hey brother, Steven, Hey, how's it going? What are you writing? Yeah. It's like, back up. You know, if someone keeps walking away from you a little bit, don't keep walking towards them. You stay still and let them just keep backing up. Oh really? Cool. That's great. Yeah. Wonderful. All right. See ya. Don't just get in people's faces, breathe down their neck. It makes them feel, you want to make someone feel extremely awkward. Get really close to them. You get extremely close to them. They'll feel really awkward really quick. Psalms 131. Look at verse number one through three. The Bible says, Lord, my heart is not haughty, nor mine eyes lofty, neither do I exercise myself in great matters or in things too high for me. Surely I have behaved and quieted myself as a child that is weaned of his mother. My soul is even weaned as a child. Let Israel hope in the Lord from henceforth and forever. So the Bible tells us that we shouldn't exercise ourselves in things that are too high for us. And, you know, one of the things that he mentioned here in this article was people who just immediately deep or dive into a deep philosophical topic. So you walk up to somebody, it's just, you just see them at church. What's the meaning of love? Do you think racism will ever end? What is your philosophy on metaphysics? You know, people are going to be like, see ya. I don't know. Bye. Like you don't want to engage in conversation with someone that just brings up weird. What do you think about the flat earth? No, that's different, but I want to avoid you for another reason for that, but you know, don't just dive into just random, weird topics, you know, get to know people, open up, let them share. But if you just go into these weird, deep philosophical topics, you know, I can't explain everything. What do you think eternity is like? I have no idea, nor am I going to sit here and pretend like I do. You know, who's going to sit there and pretend like they know everything about eternity. The fool from Proverbs 18, verse two, who just wants to have his heart be discovered. Let me tell you what eternity is like. Let me explain to you all the answers of the universe and every mystery that's ever been. Let me tell you what that seven, you know, thunder uttered in Revelation. You know, I know that John didn't write it down, but I know. Let me explain that to you. Okay. Who cares about these things? And you sound arrogant when you want to discuss them. You don't know. You don't know everything there is to know. Why don't we talk about things that we do know? Why don't we bring the conversation to, why don't we condescend them in a blow state? Why do you have to get into these weird, deep philosophical topics? It just makes you seem arrogant and prideful. Another thing you had mentioned in this context, bringing up dumb topics like politics and policies. I agree. Amen. I hate politics. I don't want to talk about them. It's all fake and phony anyways because all the talking points of the Republicans, Democrats, they just change on a dime anyways. I'm not really interested in that kind of stuff. And it's really polarizing. If you want to polarize yourself and make yourself socially awkward, start talking about politics because instantly everybody has a different viewpoint and a different idea and you're going to be, you know, a lot. People just don't like talking about those things in a context of friendship. Okay. People like to debate these things. It's a point of controversy. It's a point of contention, of strife, of argumentation. You should just avoid these type of topics. And you know what? Honestly, the Bible tells us to talk about things that are like pure thinking about things that are above. That's never politics. Okay. That's never any of these policies that they have. Another one is diverting the conversation off topic if it's going well. Sometimes people just in a normal conversation, you're talking about soul winning. You're talking about this. What do you think about red trucks? Like, what? Who brought up that? Don't just dive off in a conversation. Don't just start interjecting weird topics and weird things that they've never, hey, I'm asking for a buddy. What do you think? And then they just start interjecting these weird ideas and these perverted thoughts. People want to run away from you screaming. Allow conversations to be natural. And let me give you a tip here. Even for soul winning at the church, okay, if a new visitor comes in, sometimes people just dive into, hey, how's it going? What's your name? You know, and then they're just like, do you believe in the Trinity? Define the Trinity for me right now. It's just like, they're like, uh, no, can I sit over there? Where are you sitting? I'm sitting over here then. Okay. Look, don't just start interjecting. What do you think about reprobates? You know, it's like, what's a reprobate? You know, I don't even know what you're talking about. Look, when you just start interjecting, you know, just talk to the person normally. Oh, okay. Where do you live? Is this, you know, is this your children? What are their ages? What do they like to do? Have a normal conversation with people. If your conversation is, what do you believe about reprobates? Every time someone walks in the door, you know what? They're going to be like, I don't like that church. They're weirdos. They're a cult. They're freaks. They're only concerned with weird stuff that they're saying. Okay. So, if we want to be a church that people like, don't just divert in a conversation off topic. Okay. You need to just stay focused on the conversation they're having with people. Another one he mentioned in this is being overly cynical and sarcastic. Now, I'm not going to go to this for sake of time to go to this verse, but the Bible talks about jesting. What is jesting? Always making a sport of something. Always happening to, just everything is just humor. It's always a joke. You can never be serious. Hey, will you get that light? No. I'm just kidding. I'm probably not. Why don't you get it? I don't know. You're just like, are you going to get it or like, do I have to, hey, can you come over? I don't know. I don't know if I like you. Maybe I do. Well, I don't know. Just some people that just can't ever answer something just yes. It's really annoying. Did you like that? You know, you preach a sermon and you point out troll things that people will say, and then right after the sermon, they'll come up and say the troll thing to you after the sermon. You're like, what in the world? Someone's going to come up. Great. So can I have $100? It's like, I just said how that's stupid. Why would you do that? I point out how it's stupid and then people will literally do that. And then you're just like, ah, you know, that's what I'm doing inside, but I'm just like, yeah, cool. You're really fun to talk to. You know, when people just, Hey, what an ugly shirt you got. What a cool, cool shirt. I'm just kidding. I really like it. Kind of. I don't know. I'm just like, you just don't want to be around people where they're always joking. It's always a joke. It's always a jest. It's always a jab. Look, just be serious with people. Just be normal. Not everything has to be sarcastic. Great sermon. Great shirt. Great soul winning presentation. You're a great friend. It's like, do you believe anything? You know, that's what trolls are like. Don't be a troll in life. Okay. Just be a sober. The Bible tells me sober, which means serious. You know, I'm, I'm type of personality where I would naturally be sarcastic every time. Okay. So I have to work on this one. And sometimes I'll, I'm okay with joking every once in a while. I think that we should have some humor. Don't hear me wrong. But if that's your life, if every time someone asks you something, you always joke with them, you need to fix it. That is not a good attribute is a bad attribute. We need to be serious and take life seriously. Another one in this context is bringing up negative news. Just always bringing up negative news, always focusing on the negative. Another one bringing low energy to a social gathering, just being a bummer. And we've already talked about this in a lot of different ways, telling people how awful the weather is. I'll have to be honest. Of all the things on the list, this one approaches me the most probably because you know, I often can be down about the weather. I love Phoenix and I love it just being hot and no wind and never raining. And I live in Texas, so you know what? The weather is not always perfect, but at the end of the day, we need to just embrace it and enjoy whatever's going on. People just don't like being around people that are constantly complaining, bringing up negative things, always down on the situation. You know what? Some people like rain. They're wrong. Some people like cold weather. They're wrong. But you know, I just have to learn to have more discretion and just not bring it up. Some people like the snow and you know, good for you. But I like it being scorching hot. Some people don't like that, you know? So it's just to each their own. But it's annoying when you're enjoying something and someone has to bring it down. Man, aren't you enjoying this hot weather? I hate it. It's so hot. It's so hot in here. I just can't take it anymore. It's just like, I feel great, you know? See you later. I mean, you know, you don't want to be around people that just can't enjoy the circumstances. Get over it. Another one in this concept, go to Ecclesiastes chapter 10, Ecclesiastes chapter 10. Being a know-it-all, being a know-it-all, this is extremely annoying. No one likes a know-it-all. No one likes somebody that has every answer. And oftentimes, the know-it-all will just speak foolishness. He will say really stupid things by trying to be a know-it-all. Now, I myself, you know, being a teenager, I think I really fell victim to this. I always had to have an answer for everything. But at the end of the day, you know what's the best thing to just say often? I don't know. I don't know. Or if someone tells me, hey, do you know about this? No. Will you tell me about it? Will you explain it to me? Sometimes if people use words that I don't understand, I'll ask them. Hey, what does that word mean? I know you used it. I've never really understood that word. Can you explain it to me? And then people can help you learn. This is how you learn. You actually learn by just saying, I don't know. Explain it to me. Can you tell me about that? I'm not knowledgeable on that topic. If you're a know-it-all, people are just like, okay, hey, did you hear about this? Yep. Do you know about this? Yep. Have you heard? Yep. All right. See you later. There's no point in communicating. You say, I don't know about it. Tell me all about it. Hey, I want to hear. I want to learn. I want to grow. Ecclesiastes chapter 10, look at verse 12. The words of a wise man's mouth are gracious, but the lips of a fool will swallow up himself. The beginning of the words of his mouth is foolishness, and the end of his talk is mischievous madness. A fool also is full of words. A man cannot tell what shall be and what shall be after him. Who can tell him? It's just saying, look, the fool, he always has an answer. He's full of words. He's just ready for someone to talk their ear off. And you know these fools, whenever they get thrown out of a church because they're such an idiot, you know what they have to do? They have to create a YouTube channel and talk to the wall because they just have to hear themselves talk. They have to be heard. Just you have to hear about the Flat Earth Theory. You have to hear about all my theories and everything I think and everything I want to know. It's just you're an idiot, okay? Don't be a know-it-all. None of us know it all. We're so far from being a know-it-all. Don't act like it. Contradicting other people for the sake of being right. This is just a bad attribute, okay? Go to Matthew 10. I'm taking a lot on this topic, but there was a lot of different things there. So again, what's the sermon title? How to Avoid Being Socially Awkward. Now, probably no one is like everything on this list. Maybe a few people coming to mind. But most of us are not on this list. However, I think all of these things we could probably learn and grow from, okay? So we need to just pick the ones and think about them. It'll help us with our social interactions. Help us have more friends. Matthew chapter number 10. Look at verse number 12. Matthew chapter 10. The Bible says, And when you come into a house, salute it, okay? Now, the thing that he had put in this was not wishing friends happy birthday. And I think when you just have friendships, you need to recognize them as a person. That's what it means to salute somebody, really. You're just recognizing, hey, it's good to see you, you know, brother Rob Lowe. Or, hey, it's good to see you, you know, brother Illy. Just saying hi to them, shaking their hand, looking them in the eye. Just giving them acknowledgement about who they are. And recognizing someone's birthday in a way can do that. And if you want to have good social interactions, acknowledge people when they enter into a room. Acknowledge people when you see them. Make eye contact with them. Talk with them. If you remember someone's birthday, that has nothing to do with you. That's all about them. That means you're thinking about them. You care about them. And this could be illustrated in other ways. But just asking them about their kids. Asking about, you know, their upcoming events. Asking about the things that you know that are personal about their lives. Makes them feel like you care about them. What's your name again? That doesn't make people feel good, does it? Who are you? Which one are you again? Are you the one? I don't know who you are. That doesn't make people feel good. Hey, if you remember someone's birthday, though, that makes them feel like you know who they are. You care about them. You say, Pastor Shelley, do you know my birthday? No. Sorry, I don't know your birthday. That doesn't mean I don't necessarily care about you. But obviously, you know whose birthdays I do know? My wife and my children. Because it's obvious that I care about them more than you. So if I end up learning your birthday, you should be like, wow, Pastor Shelley really cares about me. But at the end of the day, we need to be thinking about others. Esteeming other better than ourself. This will cause you to have more friends. If you want to have more friends, no personal information about them. That's like in a creepy way. But that's an obvious way. And talk to them about that. Go if you would to Psalms 37, Psalms 37. Here's one that's going to cause you to burn a lot of relationships. It's not doing what you say you'll do, even if it's something small. And a lot of people break promises, and this causes them to lose friendships, to become very socially awkward. What does it say in Psalms 37, verse 21? It says, the wicked borroweth and payeth not again, but the righteous showeth mercy and giveth. So it's a wicked attribute to say you're going to do something and not do it. Someone that would borrow money saying I'll pay you back and then not paying it back is wicked, according to the Bible. And this extends to all areas of life. If you say you're going to do something, do it. That's what the Bible constantly keeps saying. And if you say, hey, I'm going to show up, then show up. If you're going to call someone, call them. If you're going to text someone, text them. You know what's really frustrating? Hey, I'm busy, I'll call you back tomorrow. And then they don't call you back tomorrow. And then they don't call you back the next day. And then they don't call you back the next day. And then you're just kind of like, hey, what's going on? Oh, don't worry, I'll text you later. Never text you later. You know, it makes me start feeling like when you say you'll pray for me later, you're not really doing that one either. So, hey, when you say you're going to do something, do it. This will cause you to have good relationships. People like being around you. For me, one of the ways I have to do this, and he put this in his list, he said in the negative way, though, not writing stuff down your calendar. So, the way to fix this is writing stuff down your calendar. If you tell someone you're going to do something, write it down. Make a note of it. Make sure you're going to end up doing it. People don't like someone who constantly is breaking their promises. None of us are perfect, but at the end of the day, we should do our best to keep our word and do the things that we said. You know, we don't always, I think one way that this happens a lot is our spouse. You know, you promise something to your spouse, but you're always putting them off. Hey, we'll go out and do this, or I'll call you, or I'll help you. You know, just lots of little things, but they start to add up, and they cause your spouse to resent you because you're constantly going back on your word. You're not hanging out with them. You're not prioritizing them. You're not making sure that the things that you promised them are coming true, and it causes them to resent you, and you lose that intimacy, and it causes social awkwardness in your marriage if you're constantly promising your spouse one thing and never doing it. And, you know, I struggle in some of these areas. Sometimes I'll say I'll be home at 5, and it's like 5.30, you know. And I remember, especially in some of my jobs, it ended up being that as a pattern, and it caused a lot of distrust in your relationship. So you need to make sure, this is what I do, I way over-promise, or under-promise, I'm sorry, I'm saying this wrong. I way under-promise so that I can hopefully over-deliver. Usually it comes to match up about right on time. It's like, I could probably be home about 5.15. I'll be home by 6, you know. It's like, just so that if I show up early, it's a surprise. It's a good thing, right? You don't want to constantly break your promises. This causes people to be upset with you. Showing up late for important events. You know, you invite someone to a wedding, or you invite someone to a party, or you invite someone to a funeral. I mean, I've been to funerals, and it's like 90% of the people showed up after the starting time of the funeral. Talk about disrespectful. Talk about rude. You know, when there's an important event, when there's something that's been scheduled, you make sure you're there on time. If it's an interview, show up early. You say, the interview's at 6, so I'm going to show up at 5. I'm going to show up at 5.30. I'm just going to sit in the parking lot and read Bible, or read my resume, or go over things, or think about them. Because if I get in an accident, I get caught late in traffic, you know what, they're not going to care. They'll just care that you're late. Go to Proverbs chapter 2. I don't know if I'm going to get through all these. I'm going to try and finish these last few pretty quickly. But, I'm trying to help you not be so socially awkward this evening. And, you know, some of you are great at this. Some need some help. So, you know, if you don't think it's you, you probably need some help, okay? Because we all need help in these areas. Proverbs chapter 2, verse 11. Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee. A lot of things, unfortunately, for people fall into the area of discretion. Now, discretion is an intangible quality. It's often very difficultly taught. So, I'm just giving you a big list of ways where you're failing in the discretion issue. Number one, not eating before a party with only appetizers. So, you end up showing up to a party starving and they only have, you know, a little bit of food and you just eat it all. That's not thinking about other people. That's not using discretion. Number two, requiring everyone to cater to your special food preferences. Someone invites you over. Oh, you don't have ranch with that? You don't have Hidden Valley Ranch? Look, it's all gross. No one wants ranch, okay? You know, you don't have Nestle tea? You know, I only drink Nestle tea. Do you have any milk with your cookies? I only have cookies with milk, you know. Do you have, whatever the, do you have mustard? Do you have, you know, what kind of peanut butter do you have? I don't like the crunchy peanut butter. No, I won't eat that now. Look, this makes you a socially awkward person. You just eat that crunchy peanut butter, okay? Just choke it down, unless you're allergic, all right? If you're allergic, give it to the dog. Number three, inviting a friend to a party without asking the host. Bad idea. Ask before you invite other people over. Asking someone how much something costs when it's clearly expensive. Bad idea. In fact, never ask about how much something costs. You come over to the house, hey, how much does this cost? How much does this cost? That's really awkward. People don't like that. Asking someone how much money they make. This is a rude thing to ask. It's just rude, okay? People won't want to be around you. Inviting the less fortunate to an expensive restaurant and not paying. So you invite somebody to a fancy restaurant, knowing they can't pay for it, and then not paying for them. They're not going to want to be your friend. And in fact, the standard rule is, if you invite somebody to do something, it's just an understood rule you're paying for them. You don't invite somebody to do something. And again, I'm not saying you have to, but you should at least be willing to if it came to it. If you invite somebody to do something, you take care of the bill. Otherwise, you're bad and I don't want to be invited. Some people invite you so that you can pay. This is even worse. I've been around people like that. They're like, hey, I'm really hungry, how about you? Yeah? I could go for a burger, what about you? We should go to In-N-Out, what do you think? I forgot my wallet, though. Can you get us this time? It's like, sure. It's like, how did I get conned into that? Not paying attention to what you say in front of different audiences. You know, that's not using discretion. Judging other people out loud. People think that they whisper and they're not. Do you see what he's wearing? It's like, everyone heard that. Don't judge people out loud. Terrible. Not judging people or having discernment of who you associate with. You know? I mean, if you just have an obnoxious friend that believes in the flat earth theory, I might think you're an idiot, too. So, stay away from him. Don't go live with him. You might end up believing it. Picking, scratching, or sniffing anything in public. Hey, if you need to go take care of that, do it in the bathroom with the door closed, okay? Asking someone a question you don't want the answer to. This is awkward. You know, if you know about someone that has bad news or a bad thing happen, don't go up and how are you feeling about that? You know, someone has a death in the family. Do you feel awful right now? It's like, yeah, they do. Why would you ask that? Look, there's literally people. I heard this story. Some of you probably know it, too. But there is this guy and he had brought his mother in a church. And this idiot is talking to the guy. I might have even told this story once before, but he said, I thought your mom was a really godly Christian woman. And he says, she is. He says, she has short hair. She says, she has cancer. Idiot. Moron. I mean, why would you, you know, why are you saying these type of things? You know, that's a socially awkward person. This person is socially awkward, okay? Another one announcing on Facebook that you just cleaned up your friends list. It's annoying. Okay? No one cares. I mean, for the sake of time, I'm not going to go through all the principles, but taking or using someone or something of someone's without asking. Don't steal from people. Don't borrow something and be like, is it okay if I took this, I already used it. It's like, that makes you socially awkward. Telling someone something in secret and putting the burden on them. I got to share something with you. Oh, you can't tell anybody, though. Then don't tell me. Hey, I want to tell you something you can't share with anybody. Then I don't want to know. Sometimes people just want to give you this horrible information about people and be like, you can't tell anybody. Don't let it affect you. It's just like, that's a bad idea. Seeking approval by doing, saying, or wearing certain things. Holding the door for a stranger and getting mad when they don't say thanks. That's doing something, expecting something in return. Sometimes people only give to get something in return. Expecting all favors to be returned. Bad attitude. Lending money to people who have bad money management skills. Look, if you understand what a gift is, you're not expecting something in return. Don't be the type of person constantly wanting some kind of a favor. You know, hey, I did this for you. You need to do it back for me. You say, hey, I'm really down to my luck. I need to buy, I need some lunch. You need to buy me lunch. I bought you lunch last week. They're never going to want to buy you anything ever again because it's not a gift at that point. You know, don't expect people to just tit for tat. Number, I'm almost done. Not doing what you want because the process to get there seems hard. Oh, there's a lion in the streets. You know, this is the person that's constantly complaining and whining about every single thing and they just don't want to do it. You give them a soul winning map, that's far. That's not right by the church. That's not by my house. Who's going to pay for the gas to get over there? You know, people just constantly complaining about everything. You know, even you'll provide like a whole meal for the soul winning marathon and it's like, you know, where's the salt? You know, where's the salt for my fries? I need extra salt. Did you not get extra salt? Where's the buffalo dipping sauce? Did you not get buffalo? What about the Polynesian? I need eight sauces all lined up for my nuggets. Did you not know that? My kids only drink 100% real juice. Where's the 100% real juice? Okay, it's like, get over yourself. You know, aren't you a human? Can't you provide for yourself? You could just go over there and ask them for the nuggets. You could ask them for the dipping sauce. They're right there too. Hey, he wants buffalo sauce. Can you hand it to him? It's like, what in the world? You know, it's just annoying. You're just like, I don't want to be around you. Being a social justice warrior. Well, we know about them, right? You're frequently talking about money and showing off expensive stuff you can't afford. Go to Psalms 19, the last verse I'll return to. Psalms chapter 19. What's the point of the sermon? Read your Bible. Because if you read your Bible, it'll teach you how to not be socially awkward. And unfortunately, when it comes to social awkwardness, I think that there's two things that you really need. First of all, you need to put yourself out there. The more you put yourself out there, the more you'll realize your problems and flaws that you can fix. Because most of us are not very self-aware. We don't realize all of our problems. The more you put yourself out there, the more you can learn. Allow your spouse to be a great person to help you with social awareness. Your spouse can be your greatest person to help you understand how you look, how you talk, how other people perceive you. Listen to how your spouse thinks about you, what they think. Because you think you're great. Everyone loves me. I'm wonderful. Everything I have to say is great. Your spouse will tell you what's up. They're not biased. They'll give you the raw truth, and you need it sometimes. Letting other people help you in these areas. If you always distance yourself, if you kind of isolate yourself, if you only pay attention to things online, you're gonna end up being a really awkward person. We need to interact. And more than just six feet away from each other. I hope that the world goes back to normal because otherwise this world's gonna be weird. Don't let them teach you how to be normal. Let this teach you how to be normal. Don't let public school teach you how to be normal. Let God's word teach you how to be normal. And we have a lot of kids in here that are doing homeschooling. I used to grow up thinking the homeschoolers were freaks. Usually because they didn't have any social interaction. Allow your kids to interact with other kids and other people and other adults. Teach them how to behave themselves. And I guarantee you they'll be way better than these public school system kids. At the end of the day, God teaches us everything. Psalms 19, look at verse seven. The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul. The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple. We can actually have good social etiquette and good social skills by just studying the principles of the Bible, applying them in our own lives, being saved and letting the Spirit of God teach us how to interact with other people. And ultimately, at the end of the day, if you wanna be a good person when it comes to social skills, Philippians chapter two is your chapter. Just esteem other better than yourself. If you actually just care about other people, you'll be great in social interactions. Why? Because you wanna hear them speak. Because you'll be thinking about them. You'll be paying attention to them. You'll care about them. You'll do good unto them. You won't always be taking from them. You'll be giving unto them. That's the essence of being a good friend. What's the essence of having good social skills? Caring about other people. You know who's bad at social skills? The most selfish people. I guarantee every person that has bad social skills is extremely selfish as a person. Let's close in prayer. Thank you, Father, so much for your word. Thank you for giving us so much good instruction on how to behave ourselves wisely. I pray that we would take these verses and these principles to heart, that we would just continue to walk in the Spirit and that ultimately we would just seem other, better than ourself. We would love other people. And we would learn how to have good social skills so that we could just have more friends and reach more people and just have a good countenance to give more honor and glory to you. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.