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the twenty yeah, I'm trying to figure out how I want to... the You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You All right, everybody welcome to steadfast Baptist Church if we could go ahead and take our seats We'll get started with our first song this morning. Go ahead and take out your hymnals and song turn to song number 120 Jesus save your pilot me Song number 120 Again that song number 120 Jesus save your pilot me On The top Jesus save your pilot me Overlives tempestra see unknown ways before me roll Hiding rock and treacherous show charted compass come from me Jesus save your pilot me as a mother stills her child thou can touch the ocean while boisterous waves obey thy will When thou says to them be still wondrous sovereign of the sea Jesus save your pilot me when at last I hear the shore and the fearful breakers war Twixt me and the peaceful rest then while Leaning on thy breast May I hear they say to me? Jesus save your pilot me Amen That's Barrett's word of prayer Dear father We thank you that we could all make it here safely to be gathered in your house this morning to hear the preaching of your Word and I just pray you but bless pastor Shelley film with your Holy Spirit right now that he could edify the brethren here and Just keep everybody safe as they're traveling out today Just let your protection be upon your people and help us all to grow in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior today We love you and pray this thing to Jesus Christ name. Amen Next song is not song number 100 day by day It's all number 100 day by day Day by day and with each passing moment Strength I find to meet my trials here Trusting and my father's wise be stone I'm no cause for worry or for fear He whose heart and time beyond all measure gives unto Each day what he deems best Lovingly it's part of pain and pleasure Mingling toil with peace and rest Every day the Lord himself is near me with a special mercy for each All my cares he fain would bear in hear me He whose name is counselor and bough the protection Protection of his child and treasure is a charge that on himself he lay As I days I strength shall be in measure This a pledge to me Help me then in every tribulation So to trust I promise is all On that I lose not fates reconciliation offered me within my holy Help me Lord when told the trouble meeting And to take as from a father's hand One by one the days of moments fleeting till I reach the promised Promised land Good morning, thank you so much for coming this morning If you still in the bulletin, you can lift up your hand nice and high And we'll get the bullets into you on the front. We have our exodus chapter number 20. We're on week three of 26 Thou should have no other gods before me and a really good verse there on the inside. We have our service in soul winning times Um Today we're gonna have a modified schedule just due to weather. I tried to post this Online and email everybody, but if you haven't already heard we're gonna just alter the services today So we're still having a regular morning service at 10 30 Immediately after the service we have a bunch of food that was left over from our soul winning marathon yesterday that was postponed So you're welcome to stick around we have sandwiches and salad and everything like that So, please feel free to stick around and have lunch if you would like to And then we're just going to have our afternoon service at 1 p.m So, uh, i'll just go ahead and preach the evening service at 1 p.m And we're just going to cancel the spanish service as well as the soul winning times So that way people can get home. I think it's supposed to uh, start snowing very heavily Maybe in the late afternoon potentially. I don't know but that's just kind of what the forecast has said So just in interest of getting everyone home safely and before it starts getting really bad out there We're just going to change the services for today Any other updates i'll try to get with you. I don't know if the weather is going to stay bad till wednesday But that's just for today Also, we have our church stats as well as our expecting ladies several ladies here that are expecting if you'd please Keep them in your prayers We also have our prayer list and then Um pastor me. He is going to be preaching at pure's baptist church february 21st There is a sign-up sheet if you're planning on traveling down there that day just so we have some kind of idea I think we're going to have a Really good crowd. We're going to have pizza for lunch down there and really excited For those services. Um, I know everybody down there is really excited for him to come out there And so we pray they'll go well i'm going to be in oklahoma city that week Preaching up there too. But um, we got a couple local guys here, uh preaching and so please still come out to church and We're really excited. You really can't go wrong going to church anywhere, uh with steadfast or pure words baptist church on the back We also have a soul winning marathon March 6th in galveston and really excited about that Uh, I know some people that live kind of in that part of the of the area And they're really excited about having a marathon out there galveston island I looked it up It's almost 50 000 people that live on the island And so there's definitely plenty of doors and lots of area there for us to go soul winning And galveston is kind of its own island. It's got a little bridge there and it's about 30 40 minutes south of houston But that's we're going to be having the soul winning marathon. And so we'd really encourage you to come out there April 3rd, we'll have a mega marathon The following day will be uh easter and we'll have the lord's supper that evening may 8th We're going to have a lady's tea In honor of mother's day and all women and all ladies are invited to come And you can always invite your mom or invite someone if you'd like, but we're going to have a lady's tea and i'll have more Details on that when we get a little bit closer exactly where when but we just wanted to give you that idea Maybe if you have a someone that you want to invite or invite your mom or something like that make some plans And then may 20th through the 22nd Is going to be the dates for our men's retreat. And so we did this last year uh kind of in around father's day and the the place that we went it was kind of just like a really Uh a blessing from god because the place would never let us go during that time But because of covid they let us go and then we even found the place but it's it's mostly used by you know Church youth groups and like college-aged kids and things like that But we can still sneak out there early or late part of the year And so we're going to go out there early part of the year and it's a really fun Trip i'm pretty i'm pretty sure everybody that went there really enjoyed themselves And so we're going to be doing it again and hopefully we'll have a maybe a guest preacher or two i've already kind of contacted a few people and so I'm really excited about the men's retreat We'll have a sign-up sheet pretty soon, but I just want to give you those dates And so that's pretty much all that I have for announcements. Just make sure to stay safe when you're driving out there and just be in prayer for Everyone that's not able to make it this evening or this uh this day Let's go to our third song song 150 in your handout psalm 150 If you need one you can raise up your hand one of the ushers will try and bring one to you You always take out your bible there king james bible to psalm 150 Praise ye the lord praise god in his sanctuary praise him in the Firmament of his power praise him for his mighty acts praise him according to his Exotic greatness praise him with the sound of the trumpet praise him with the Psaltery and harp praise him with the timbrel and dance Praise him with stringed instruments Praise him upon the loud symbols praise him upon the high-sounding symbols let everything that had breath praise the lord praise ye the lord Praise god the father praise god the son Praise god the holy ghost Praise god in three persons As the offering plates are being passed around please turn your bibles to ephesians chapter five ephesians chapter five So So Ephesians chapter five the bible reads be therefore followers of god as dear children And walk in love as christ also had loved us and hath given us and hath given himself for us an offering And a sacrifice to god for a sweet smelling savor, but fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness Let it not be once named among you as become of the saints Neither filthiness nor foolish talking or jesting which are not convenient but rather giving up Thanks for this, you know that no whoremonger nor unclean person nor covetous man Who is an idolater hath any inheritance in the kingdom of christ and of god? Let no man deceive you with vain words for because of these things come at the wrath of god upon the children of disobedience Be not you therefore partakers with them for ye were sometimes darkness But now are you light in the lord walk as children of light? For the fruit of the spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth proving what is acceptable unto the lord And have no fellowship with the unfulful works of darkness, but rather reprove them For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light for whatsoever doth make manifest is light Wherefore he saith awake thou that sleepest and arise from the dead and christ shall give thee light See then that you walk circumspectly not as fools, but as wise redeeming the time because the days are evil Wherefore be ye not unwise but understanding what the will of the lord is And be not drunk with wine where in his excess but be filled with the spirit Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs singing and making melody in your heart to the lord Giving thanks always for all things unto god and the father in the name of our lord. Jesus christ Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of god wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the lord for the husband is the head of the wife even as christ is the Head of the church and he is the savior of the body Therefore as the church is subject unto christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything Husbands love your wives even as christ also loved the church and gave himself for it That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of the water by the word That he might present it to himself a glorious church having not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing But that it should be holy and without blemish so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies He that loveth his wife loveth himself for no man ever yet hated his own flesh But nourished and cherished it even as the lord the church For we are members of his body of his flesh and of his bones For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife and they too shall be one flesh This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning christ and the church nevertheless Let every one of you in particular. So love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband Let's have a word of prayer Lord, thank you so much for this day and thank you for getting us all here safely I pray that you'd be with the rest of our church those that couldn't make it Pray that you bless them and that you'd fill pastor shelly with the holy spirit Give him boldness to preach to us and help us all to pay attention and learn today. And in jesus name we pray. Amen Amen, let's look back at verse 25 where the bible reads husbands love your wives Even as christ also loved the church and gave himself for it And the title of the morning sermon is this how men can improve their marriage how men can improve? Their marriage now when it comes to marriage it takes two to tango But at the end of the day a man or a woman can only ultimately control themselves They only truly have possession of their own actions and their own thoughts and everything like that However in marriage we understand that your actions and the decisions that you make will affect your spouse And will have an impact on your marriage And I really want to focus on a lot of things that the bible says I want to kind of teach you Uh some some a few principles men this morning and then i'm going to get into a lot of practical application at the end it'll be a little bit different at the end, but The bible has a great command here love your wife and the first point I have is this men need to love Men need love you want to improve your marriage today. You need to love your wife. Okay, and this is a commandment This isn't even a suggestion the bible says to love now You know me and my wife we've been married for over 10 years and we've had ups and downs And and really you asked this question. How do I know if I I love my spouse or how is it truly manifested? Well, keep your finger right here, but go to first john chapter number four for a moment go to first john chapter number four I'm going to give you kind of a simple definition of love But a simple definition or how can you tell that love is manifested is this doing good? When they don't deserve it Doing good when they don't deserve it and so really love is not reciprocating good for good, but it's rather reciprocating good When the other person does not deserve it and obviously i'm focusing here on the men. So According to the bible love is manifested when you do something good or positive Towards your wife or towards your spouse even when they don't deserve it It's not something that they've earned in any way shape or form and that demonstrates your love Now the person who teaches us this is god himself. Look at first john chapter four verse number nine in this was The love of god toward us because that god sent his only begotten son of the world that we might live through him Here it is love not that we loved god But that he loved us and sent his son to be the propitiation for our sins So the bible shows us what love really looks like it's like when god the father sent his son to be the savior of the world Even though we didn't deserve it, you know We use this verse out so many a lot romans 5 8 But god commended his love toward us and that while we're yet sinners christ died for it So it demonstrates the fact that we didn't deserve god's love. We haven't earned god's love. We haven't done anything In fact, we've only done negative. Not only are we like not deserving of his love. In fact, we're actually An enemy, we're actually Trespassers, we're actually offenders and then god still Stretches his arm across the aisle and still demonstrates and shows love unto us and the same love that god the father Demonstrated through the sacrifice of his son for us is the model that we're supposed to have as a husband towards our wives Okay, so the bible when it says love your wife. It's not just this, you know Oh, I just think she's so pretty and she's so kind and I just like the way her hair, you know flows or whatever No, it's actually Deciding to do good under your wife when she doesn't deserve it That's what it really looks like because it's easy to you know, reciprocate good for good It's easy to reciprocate kindness for kindness and gift for gift but what's difficult Is to do good or to bless or to help or to encourage or to sacrifice? For someone who does not deserve it in any way shape or form And in fact you could go as so far as to give the exact same scenario where they're actually trespassing against you They're offending you. They're not obeying you they're doing evil against you yet you still Decide to love them. You still decide to do good under them. You still decide to Manifest your love by doing the best that you can now. Here's a question You may ask go to Colossians chapter 3 2 and we're coming right back to Ephesians Well, actually you can lose your place in Ephesians. We'll come back later Just go to Colossians chapter 3 for a moment Galatians Ephesians Philippians Colossians So you're pretty much there with your finger Colossians chapter 3, but here's the question Pastor Shelley, why should I do that? You know, why should I reciprocate good for evil or why should I? Continue to bless my spouse or do good under them, even if they've trespassed against me, you know Why can't it be eye for eye or why can't it be foot for foot? You know, why can't we just you know, if she says something mean to me i'll say something mean to her I'll show her you know, she can't she can't do anything to me, right? Why would you decide to manifest love unto your spouse when they're not deserving of it? Okay Well, first of all, the bible says again in colossians 3 19 look at this husbands love your wives and be not bitter against them Number one god said to okay And ultimately, you know, we're supposed to follow god's commandments regardless of our own personal feelings desires or wishes But let me give you an even better reason, you know At least from a carnal perspective or or something of as far as a benefit, right? Obviously, it's always beneficial to keep god's commandments It's always right to fear the lord and not man but go to luke chapter number seven go to luke chapter number seven I Want to give you an idea here and let's look at a long portion of scripture But let's look at a story about love specifically And see how when you are doing the best that you possibly can and you're loving your spouse to the maximum Okay That you can actually receive a benefit from this and we see what it says be not bitter against them What would be something that's bitter? Well, we have to understand is in order to be bitter the person had to have trespassed against you The person had to have done some kind of wrong. Otherwise, you can't really be bitter against them Okay If they're perfect You can't be bitter against them for being perfect or doing right or blessing you or praising you're going to be bitter against someone Because they screwed up because they did something wrong because they said something wrong. They did something wrong They trespassed in some way and the bible's saying that husbands are not supposed to be bitter against their spouse They're supposed to be bitter against their wife and you'll praise the lord that god has this attitude You know that when we trespass against him and when we screw up He's not constantly bitter against us and just like man. You just keep screwing up Man, you're just weird is worthless, you know, you're just a no-good, you know scum. You just can't seem to get it right I mean, what if god felt that way? I mean, how many times do you trespass against god? And think about it he's he doesn't he has new mercies every morning And you know This is the same picture that a husband is supposed to have towards his wife where it's new mercies every morning And where he's not constantly bitter and he's forgiving her okay, he said but man I just have to forgive her all the time and it's just like there's so many trespasses and there's so Many difficulties and you would think that she would just obey already. I mean hasn't she heard hasn't she read the bible? But here's the thing Even if your marriage is one where you're constantly having to forgive Where you're constantly having to let things go where you constantly have to get over things and look You know if you come to this church and your wife's constantly pregnant, you know, there's a little bit of flow there Okay, there might be some times where it feels a little constant. Okay, but look at this story luke chapter 7 verse 39 now when the pharisee Which had bidden him saw it he spake within himself saying this man if he were a prophet Would have known who and what manner of woman this is that touches them for his sinner So in this story, we have a woman she's touching the feet of jesus christ And she's you know, washing his feet anointing his feet says in verse four in this pharisee's like what in the world? Why is he letting this woman touch her? You know covet six feet, you know distance, right? 40 and jesus answering said in him simon. I have somewhat to say unto thee and he saith master say on There was a certain creditor which had two debtors the one owed 500 pence and the other 50 And when they had nothing to pay he frankly forgave them both tell me therefore which of them will love him Most now that's an interesting statement Love him Now we have a parable here and jesus christ is illustrating Himself as a creditor. Okay one who's lended money and then he's illustrating two debtors And he's saying one debtor owes a lot more than the other And ultimately if he forgives both of them Which of them theoretically would end up loving the creditor or being more appreciative the one that had the bigger debt, right? Says in verse 43 simon answered and said I suppose that he to whom thou forgave most and he said unto him Thou is rightly judged and he turned to the woman and said unto simon See is thou this woman I entered into thine house thou gavest me no water for my feet She hath washed my feet with tears and wiped them with the hairs of her head thou gavest me no kiss But this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet My head with oil thou didst not anoint but this woman hath anointed my feet with ointment Wherefore I say unto thee her sins which are many are forgiven for she loved much But to whom little is forgiven the same loveth little and he said unto her thy sins are forgiven So let's first talk about this passage from what the bible is really trying to tell us What is what is the bible really trying to tell us? It's trying to tell us that those whom christ has forgiven the most have a natural inclination To want to serve him or be more appreciative It's just a natural response to be more appreciative more thankful and in fact even serving more notice It's not just the appreciation It's actually the appreciation demonstrated through physical works because notice he's pointing out things that he didn't do that She did what are some of those things? Well, she washed his feet with tears She's wiping him with the hairs of her head She's anointing his feet with ointment. So notice she's washing his feet. She's even using her own hair. That's crazy But you know what? It's just demonstrating the fact of how appreciative she is of jesus christ She may not have any other option and you know what she's willing to dirty her own hair just to make sure That the lord jesus christ is taken care of just to demonstrate her love and appreciation for him Now I remember growing up and I would always read this passage and you know, I grew up in a christian home My parents always took me to church and I read my bible as early as I can remember even being able to read Now obviously my zeal was not really according to knowledge and the churches I was going to weren't necessarily the best but I lived a pretty you know, uh in comparison to the world a pretty separated life You know, I didn't really go into the world that much, you know I was very against drinking and drugs and alcohol and I had a mom and dad and so You know, you could say I was a little bit sheltered or living a little bit more on the clean and the straight and narrow But obviously I had tons of sin. Okay, i'm just saying from a Worldly comparison and I remember going to church and these people getting up and they're like man i've done like all these drugs And i've been with all these women and i'm you know, i've killed people, you know, this is like they're giving these testimonies You're thinking like man You know and so they're like, but I get to love jesus so much more now, you know, and it was like I always thought like am I just not going to be greatly used by god because you know I never was this gang banger and I was never using, you know This drink doing all these drugs and drinking and doing all these wicked evil things But that's not the right way to really approach this passage And and let me give you something to chew on. Okay, what this passage tells me is it's not that it's glorifying or praising Those who are sinful what it is doing is it's helping you understand this point the more sinful you realize you are The more you're motivated to serve jesus And let me think let me give you another thing to think about the churches that preach the hardest on sin Seem to be the ones that love jesus the most aren't they? And you say why because they start realizing how sinful they really are Hey, if you're going to church on sunday morning, and it sounds like you've got everything together and there's nothing wrong Then why are you going to be so motivated to serve jesus? But then when you show up at church and you realize how wicked and evil and wretched you truly are you say wow Thank god for the lord's grace Praise the lord that he you know continues to use me despite how sinful I truly am And so we have to understand that when you have a realization Of your inadequacy when you have this realization of the goodness and kindness and mercy of god What does it do it stirs you to serve him? Okay. Now, let's take that to marriage Okay Because what did I already illustrate for you that husbands should continually forgive their spouse and do good unto them and love them regardless of their action So if a husband is always gracious and always kind and always forgiving his spouse And always willing to you know, let things go. You know what that's going to end up doing It's going to motivate his wife to want to serve him more because she realizes Is What her husband is doing for her Because now she has the opportunity to love much because why she's been forgiven much However, if you aren't forgiving her trespasses and you aren't being gracious and you aren't being merciful unto her And you're holding her feet to the fire on every transgression. You know what it's not going to give her the same motivation To then want to love you the same. In fact, it'll feel like she's she hasn't had much Even being forgiven, you know, let me ask you this question your marriage. Do you forgive your spouse of things? Do you just let things go or do you hold her accountable for every transgression? And everything that she does wrong and every idle word and every little you know thing that she does wrong Are you always you know, just showing her the law or are you showing her grace because the more grace that you show her I'm telling you the bible teaches she'll end up loving you more. She'll end up appreciating more She'll end up and also this serving you more Because notice this woman ended up serving jesus christ more What if jesus christ had come unto this very sinful woman and said, you know what? None of your sins are forgiven You're wicked you're evil get out don't even touch me. How much would she have served? Jesus None and notice that the Pharisee didn't even want the woman to touch him Okay, why because she's too sinful and you know what a husband could get to a point where he's just not even letting his wife Serve him because she's just too bitter She's just too, you know rebellious or she's too evil or she's she's making too many mistakes or she's too emotional Or she's too, you know, whatever and instead of just forgiving her and being there with her and letting her serve you You end up putting distance between you and so the picture of a husband is one that's like god the father Ideal, you know from an ideal perspective where he's constantly wanting to forgive her constantly wanting to appreciate her and give her grace and being long-suffering and being patient and understanding that she's the weaker vessel and Not always holding every single one of her transgressions To a law type standard but rather extending grace And at the end of the day many people don't realize this but Most people will end up matching the effort the effort level of their spouse and men Often set that example men often set the bar for the effort level in a marriage and oftentimes It's difficult for one spouse to increase their effort level way above and beyond The effort level of their spouse. So if you're if your spouse is only given 10% in the marriage It's very difficult for people to end up wanting to give a hundred percent And their side of the equation because they feel like it's not being matched They feel like it's not equal but but let me give you a sad reality No marriage will ever be equal on the effort level never now Praise the lord if it if it's close praise the lord if it's similar and you know what there's going to be ebbs and flows There's going to be times, you know at the honeymoon stage Usually both parties are kind of like at a max, you know but there's going to be times where one dips down and one dips and it kind of goes ebbs and flows sometimes or Sometimes in a bad situation is just one sizes down and what ends up happening is the other person starts kind of Coming down and trying to meet them and coming to an equilibrium because they don't see the benefit Of staying at a maximum effort level in their marriage while the other party is not chipping in While the other party is not doing their part while the other party is not loving in a reciprocal manner But we already showed you here You should go ahead and do it. Anyways, and the more grace you have It's going to encourage them to increase their effort level Okay, the more that you do the more potential you have of being loved notice that the love effort level Of these two people the one that have been forgiven 50 versus 500 who loved the most the one that of the 500 so even if your spouse is quote unquote You know way worse than you which you know, that's a subjective viewpoint Okay, but i'm just saying even if it was theoretically possible that you could say yeah It's definitely they're not putting as much effort as me Well, you know what by you continuing to put as much effort as you can into your marriage You're giving them the maximum possibility to love you You can actually give them more benefit and more reality to love you The more you forgive and the more you give grace the more potential you have to be loved And you know, I find that A lot of times probably the effort level would be around five percent ten percent. I'm just throwing out numbers. Okay of where you're at Let's just say your spouse is pretty much going to always stay about five ten percent Below your effort of your level of effort, okay Well, if that's true Then why would I not want to go a hundred percent? Because then that would put my spouse at 95 or 90 which that sounds pretty good Like if I have to say but you know what ends up happening because they realize, you know They start at both at 100 right and then one starts dipping down to 95 90 percent So then they drop down to 90 95 percent, but then they drop down to 80 85 percent And then they drop down to 80 85 percent and then they drop down to 50 and it just this slow Just kind of a chipping away Well, they used to say that I love you and now they're not saying as much. Okay. Well, I won't say it Well, they used to call me a lot but and now they're not calling me now. I'm not going to call them Well, they used to take me, you know out and tell me that i'm you know special and now i'm not going to do it No, you just keep your effort level At a hundred because then they'll probably stay around 90 95 percent And it makes no sense To stop doing the best that you possibly can based on their actions In fact, it's the worst decision you can make is to lower your effort level in your marriage as a husband because you're also the leader You're also the one you know, that's supposed to be setting the example and you know Illustrating this and let me give you a few verses to think about. Okay, go to first corinthians chapter 15 Go to first corinthians chapter 15 The bible says iron sharpened with iron, doesn't it? We see that your actions are going to have a chain reaction They're going to have a cause and effect on your spouse and you know what iron sharpens iron So whenever you're putting in a hundred percent effort that's going to encourage your spouse to put in more effort Whenever you're doing less in the marriage It's going to motivate them to sometimes do less the bible says be not deceived evil communications corrupt good manners So you may be doing a lot of good But your spouse deciding to do evil may end up causing you to dip down But ultimately you're still in control of yourself As the man you are in control a hundred percent and you know what you should continue to put everything you have into your marriage regardless Of your wife's decisions regardless of how your wife loves you or what she does unto you now first corinthians chapter Number 15 look at verse number 33. Let me give you another verse to chew on I'm sorry. That's the same verse be not deceived evil communications go to galatians chapter 6 go to galatians chapter number 6 and I want to look at another verse here in hebrews 2 galatians chapter 6 look at verse number 7 Be not deceived god is not mocked for whatsoever man soweth That shall he also reap let me ask you this question if you're not sowing into your marriage If you're not sowing into your wife, if you're not sowing into your spouse, why would you expect to reap anything good? Why would you expect to reap any kind of positive reaction or any kind of positive benefits when you're not actually sowing into them? You know, it makes sense to actually sow grace mercy kindness love appreciation in your spouse because then when it doesn't happen You're going to reap that you're going to reap that type of reward go to hebrews chapter 10 and look at another verse So i'm giving you a few verses, you know I'm kind of giving you a principle and I want to give you a few verses that teach the same similar principle So that you understand when you do good For their evil it can have a positive effect it can end up rendering you a very positive benefit But let's take it to an extreme Let's say That you are a hundred percent And your marriage your whole life And your wife's always at a zero Okay And you stand before god and you're being judged according to your works Whenever you're judged do you really want to say to god well my wife was a zero so I was a zero Or do you want to just say I was a hundred percent? In fact, let's just take your wife out of the equation. What number do you want to tell god whenever you stand before him? Isn't it just a hundred percent? Because look god's not going to judge you and say well, you know what you should have loved your life less You loved her a little bit too much, buddy You know, you're a little bit too gracious and a little too kind and you're a little bit too good of a husband You know, you should have dialed it back a little bit because I understand who you're married to, you know She you know, I she's like her mother, you know, and we all know where she's at. No, she's good It's like that's that's a silly way to look at it You don't you're not going to stand before jesus christ and think like oh, I I wish i'd love my spouse a little bit less You're not okay, so you might as well give a hundred percent and ignore Your effort level should ignore their actions your effort level should ignore what they're doing And in fact, it should only motivate you more the the lesser that they're doing To do more to try and encourage them to try and provoke them To do right look what it says in hebrews chapter 10 verse 24 And let us consider one another to provoke Unto love into good works now. This is specifically about going to church, but it's also even just doing the works of god But this is the same in a marriage when you love your spouse when you're doing good under your spouse You're going to provoke them to want to love you back to do good unto you And to end up rendering that good for good evil for eve or i'm sorry not evil here good for good or blessing for blessing or forgiveness for Forgiveness go back to ephesians chapter number five ephesians chapter number five and look what i'm saying right now Is really easy to understand it's really hard to do It's really really easy to understand It's hard to do And you know again, we need reminders And we need to get some verses in our mind to think about And we need to change some habits And so i'm going to get some practical application later in the sermon, but I just want to teach the principle number one Husbands need to love their wives. You know, the bible is crystal clear on this It's a commandment and really we're supposed to be that same representative that God is to us as we are to our wives ephesians chapter five verse 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word That he might present it to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing But that it should be holding without blemish. So what men to love their wives as their own bodies he that loveth his wife loveth himself For no man ever yet hated his own flesh But nourishes and cherishes it even as the lord the church for we are members of his body Of his flesh and of his bones. So the bible tells us That your wife is like an extension of yourself. You become one flesh and as much care appreciation And tender love as you give to your own flesh. You should be willing to give to your spouse And it's saying no man ever yet hates his own flesh Obviously, you know, there's people that try to inflict pain on themselves, but you know, they're sadistic and they have problems Okay, and they don't like it. It's very difficult to hurt yourself In fact, many people try to hurt themselves and they end up failing because it's just so difficult to do. It's so unnatural Okay, because the natural inclination is to love yourself to appreciate yourself and whenever you're hurting you baby it You know if your leg's hurting you baby your leg you baby your arm, you know kids want to put a band-aid on every single boo-boo You know you wash yourself you clean yourself Why because you want to take care of your body in any part that's hurting You're going to try and address that it's going to get a lot of attention and focus whenever it's causing pain You should do that with your spouse You should care about what your spouse feels like and what's going on in their life And you should want to love them like you would your own body and give them extra special attention When there's some kind of a problem when there's some way that they're hurting or there's some kind of a difficulty And the bible's showing us here that just like christ loves the church. We're supposed to love our wives You know another way that you could illustrate this love is through the sacrifice, right? Didn't jesus christ sacri sacrifice himself for the church and so men ought to sacrifice Themselves for their wives and for their good and for their benefit and to love and appreciate them and I like this word cherish You know I'm going to get into a lot of practical application But but marriage is not a checklist marriage is not Something that It's just like okay if I do these five things i'm good, you know, I I said I love you I sent a text. I love you and I mailed some flowers. We're good, you know It's really that in your heart you truly cherish your spouse and really when you truly cherish your spouse deep down in your heart Most of these things you'll do all you'll do automatically it'll just happen because you truly cherish it You know the things that you truly cherish You end up appreciating loving spending time and and caring for you know, men cherish a lot of different things today What do they cherish the super bowl trophy, right? They love it and they cry about it and they care about it so much and they kiss it I mean look You don't have to I I don't have to tell the guys that win the super bowl kiss the trophy They're making out with the thing on their own Okay, and here's the reality a man who loves his wife You don't have to tell you don't have to force him to be affectionate towards his spouse. Why because he wants to Right. And so the end of the day if you're having problems loving your wife It's probably just don't cherish her enough deep down into your heart And what does cherish cherish is to hold dear feel or show affection for? or to cultivate with care and affection nurture And you know, you need to end up trying to cherish your wife and your spouse realize this woman has made a vow to god That she's going to love you for better for worse for richer for poorer which most of you probably on the latter end. I'm just kidding It's probably not like you're not you know, the the wealthiest guy. You're not the best looking guy You've probably you know, I've seen some of your pictures when you got married. You look a little bit better You know, you're a little bit more studly You know you've gained a little bit of weight seems like you're cherishing your belly a little bit more than your wife You know I see where your love's at and at the end of the day You know, we need to cherish our wives and realize their value and their importance in our life And we need to be thinking about them. You know, you also made a vow to love your spouse You made a vow before god and you are to cherish them and to hold them to a high level of respect And whenever you cherish something you're not going to just take it lightly You're going to be thinking about it. It's going to motivate you but another thing it says here is nourish, right? And nourish is an important word and it leads me to my second point is this men not only need to love their wives They need to lead their wives. They need to lead Their wives and nourishing is an aspect of leading. Okay, because nourishing is providing for it's giving substance to And you know, there's a lot of ways the Bible use word nourish It's a lot of times in relation to a mother, you know, giving nourish when you're not in a relationship Giving nourishment into a child or something similar But it also is used in a spiritual connotation go if you would to first timothy chap number four first timothy chap number four Obviously men need to provide for their family, you know, that's the first nourishment and you know what a hungry wife is not a happy Wife, okay, so you want to make sure she's got some food, especially if she's with child because that child gets angry You know inside and it wants some food and you need to make sure that she has some food, right? You need to provide for her you need to take care of her physical carnal needs you need to nourish her but More importantly you also need to do this spiritually look at first timothy Chapter number four verse six the bible says if thou put the breath in remembrance of these things thou shalt be a good minister of jesus christ Nourished up in the words of faith and of good doctrine wherein to thou hast obtained now the bible is saying for a pastor He needs to have already been nourished He needs to have already, you know eaten and consumed the word of god and grown up and has this good faith and this good doctrine Why so then he can nourish the congregation? And ultimately every man every husband is also a minister of his family. He is the steward of his family He is the priest of his household. And so it's his job to nourish his wife and to nourish his children Spiritually and notice what the words of faith that's the bible That's the word of god We need men today to nourish their wives with the bible with the words of god to teach them the bible Make your wife new ifb Make your wife new ifb make your wife an independent fundamental baptist make your wife a baptist make your wife king James only make your wife be a sole winner make your wife Look, you're supposed to lead your wife to believe the doctrine, you know It's not satisfactory to me if my wife makes all the decisions she does in her life because i'm forcing her It's satisfactory to me when she makes all the decisions in her life because she wants to I don't want my wife to use a king james bible because I force her I want her because she thinks it's the right bible to use I don't want my wife to come to this church because i'm forcing her I want her because she likes this church You know I don't want my wife to have lots of children because i'm forcing her to I want her to want to have Children the decisions that my wife makes I want her to believe they're what the bible is teaching which of course, you know, there's going to be a lot of Things that you have to make sure you're right on because if you're going to have this principle Then you better be basing it on the bible You know if you want your wife to truly believe them Then they better be biblical because if you're trying to force your wife to believe something that's not biblical That's going to be difficult But you know what when you have the truth on your side When you believe things that are right when you already have the right doctrines and the right bible and the right gospel You know what? It should be easy to end up leading your wife into the truth And you know what you need to lead your wife And look a baby Is not going to eat steak It's not you try to give it to it. It will it may You know nibble on it. It's going to spit it out. I mean it'll eat paper It'll eat gum. It'll eat anything rocks. It'll eat tree. I mean a tree bark I mean i'll eat anything but it won't eat steak and you're just like what's wrong with you. Okay, there's nothing wrong with the baby It's just the baby needs to be nourished The baby needs to grow up and you know what when you start small and you start nourishing it and you start giving it The appropriate foods and the appropriate nourishment and it grows up then you can start feeding it steak and you know What it's gonna like steak Okay, I guarantee. All right, you nourish up a child correctly and you teach them the right dog. You're in texas Okay, it's all right. You nourish them up, right? They're gonna like steak Okay, and stop being so worried about them liking steak The problem is maybe you're just not nourishing them to the point where they like steak yet Okay, and when it comes to a wife you say oh my wife doesn't like some of the things that we're doing Okay, well nourish her up because I guarantee she'll like it It's the truth. It's the word of god It's what god has designed them to do and to like and you know what you try and offer the spiritual state today To to the world's women. They don't like it. They don't want it. They can't chew on it They don't they're not ready for that But you know what if they were nourished up in the words of faith, they would end up liking the steak Because it's what god has designed, you know, this soy stuff the impossible burger is not good You know if you convinced yourself and tricked yourself into eating the soy, you know, and eating the tofu Tofu is gross Tofu it's like it's so weird. It's like wet styrofoam or something and it's like why would you eat this? You know and that's what the world's eating today. They're eating wet styrofoam today and it's like have you ever had steak, you know And it's just they're just ignorant. They're foolish You need to nourish them and you know wean them off of the garbage today Off of the things that you know, they don't need and get them onto the strong meat And you know what? They'll like it, but it takes a leader And let me tell you how you lead stop asking your wife what she wants And just make decisions Stop asking look a leader It doesn't make very much sense if when i'm you know leading the pack i'm like, where are we going? Hey guys, where are we going to go? You know, i'm going to drive us into a ditch You know the tip of the spear the leader is just like we're going here And that's where follow me as I follow christ follow me. Look it doesn't make sense To ask the follower what you're going to do What's what they like no you're just supposed to lead and look a good leader is going to think about what they probably need Or even sometimes may want and then go there and do that. But at the end of the day the leader needs to lead And i'm telling you what if you're asking your wife what to do in your life. You've already failed Step one just lead and look i'd rather lead to not the best place Than to be the follower You know, you need to just lead and you need to start making the decisions in your life And making decisions for your wife and you say well that doesn't sound very kind look that's What you that's what she wants at the end of the day. You just don't realize it Okay, go to first corinthians chapter 11 go to first corinthians. Let me give you some verses here But you need to be a leader today and i'm telling you how to improve your marriage. You want to improve your marriage? Love your wife You want to improve your marriage lead your wife? She wants you to lead You know why your wife can't make a decision because you're not leading She wasn't supposed to make the decision anyways Just stop asking her and just start leading Then you'll have a lot less problems whatever you're trying to ask the follower where to go and what to do It's just gonna you know, it's frustrating and you know, they'll call me misogynistic or whatever But women are supposed to be at the home number one But in the workplace whenever i'd had women managers, they can't make a decision It was so frustrating And you would end up making all kinds of bad decisions or end up not making a decision in time Because women are not natural born leaders It's unnatural for a woman to get that frame of mind or put herself in that position And i'm not saying it's impossible. But what I am saying is just generally speaking women are not the same as men in leadership Men need to be the leader And you know what i'm sure plenty of women could make good decisions at the end of the day But you know what who can make a better decision the husband, you know who can make the best decisions the man And so the man is supposed to be the one leading and making decisions. That's what god ordained Don't get mad at me for saying that that's what god chose And you know what? I think god's smarter than me Okay, look at first corinthians chapter 11 verse 3 But I would have you know that the head of every man is christ and the head of the woman is the man And the head of christ is god god ordained it that men were over women. They are their head They are the one and you know what the head does it makes decisions Go if you would to first corinthians 9 just back up a few pages first corinthians 9 verse 3 mine answer to them that do examine me in this have we not power to eat and to drink Have we not power notice this to lead? About a sister so notice how paul describes marriage leading a sister He doesn't say hey, we're joint. We're joint, uh co-captains here, you know, i'm driving 50 she's driving 50 No, he says marriage is me leading a sister Leading a woman around telling her where we're going and and putting her there go to first timby chapter number two first timby chapter two Well, I I don't like your opinion because you know i'm really good at leading and managing and i'm a woman Okay. Well, you know the bible says in verse timothy chapter two Look at what it says in verse number 12. Let's let's go back up in verse verse 11 Let the woman learn his silence with all subjection But I suffer not a woman to teach nor to usurp authority over the man but to be in silence Is that my opinion? No, it's god's opinion. He says look women are not supposed to be leading men It's foolishness You know in our country today is full of women leading men And you know what our country is doomed Obviously if you know we enter into the end times pretty soon america, we won't see the fall of america You know the way that other civilizations have fallen. It'll be a much quicker falling. Okay, it'll be a much quicker destruction It'll be a little bit different but On the course that america is at with all the women in leadership With all the sodomites and the homos and leadership today Look, it would blow your mind if you knew how many sodomites are in positions of leadership today It's virtually everywhere and lots of times it's these women You know, it's a lot of these women that are you know in charge are dykes and you know, they're feminazis and whatever And the way we're headed is utter destruction Do you really expect me to believe that the chinese government is thinking like oh man We should be terrified of all these women leaders in america You think that china is really confused on the difference between men and women or do you think that their military is full of men You really expect me look We're so stupid. We're so foolish. We have men competing in women's sports today And then they get a trophy for it Why because our society is brain dead our society is wicked and it's so evil It's incredible to me how christians aren't waking up It's incredible to me how people still think that things are normal today when nothing's normal Nothing is saying Nothing is going look even the world itself. It's like trying to make it's like, you know There's a difference between men and women we've done all these scientific studies and we have all the you know We've done all the testosterone levels look to compete in the olympics You have to have had like a certain level of testosterone For like an entire year And you know to compete in the ncaa you have to have had certain like, uh hormone therapy Or some kind of a surgery or whatever and it's like dude a man's a man It's that easy A woman is a woman. It's that easy. I don't even have to check the hormones. It's called. Do you have a privy member? And look if your privy member gets injured or removed you're still a dude You're just not as much of a dude anymore. Okay, you're a little bit less of a dude, you know, maybe that's not your fault Maybe you're like a daniel or whatever, but at the end of the day, you know what? You know what it's so silly to try and use logic reasoning and science with these people It's a spiritual deception today. And when you have women leading in any capacity, it's utter nonsense It's utter foolishness. They give lip service to you know, being a godly person or being you know Really caring or whatever, but they make bad decisions and you know And I know that no one in this room would want one of these wicked women mayor governors to be over us You know, I noticed that the republican party seems to constantly try and find like their you know model woman, you know representative and i'm like She's a woman I don't want nicky haley You know, I don't I don't care what I don't want sarah palin I don't want a woman, you know I want a real man today and it's sad that they have to go find a woman that has morals A woman that has any kind of values a woman that has a kind of a backbone. Where's the men today? And you know what? We mean men to lead We need a man to stand up and decide to lead in this country But you know what? We're never going to have it. But what kind of foolishness does it make to put that same model in your marriage? Are you are you taking after the world Are you wanting the hillary clinton to run the country then? Why are you letting a rule rule your home? Rule your decision making you know, it doesn't make any sense and you talk to men today Hey, do you really want a woman to be in charge of the country? No, do you want a woman to be your boss? No, do you want a woman to be in charge of anything? They're like no and then it's like well, how about at home? Oops Well, I have to ask my wife about that when I get home see if it's okay I don't I don't feel comfortable having this discussion. She might get mad at me but Tough You know, i'm sure that employees don't like every decision of their manager Of their employer, but you know what tough? You know, it's a bad day. You know, your wife isn't able to form a union against you. Okay? It's just your way or the highway Okay Go to first corinthians chapter 14 first corinthians chapter 14 And you know you start talking about this and people just start thinking like I don't know if that's right Look the bible is right God's word is always right And you know anything contrary is always stupid. It's foolishness. It's folly and you know what the women in our country will destroy it Women in our country are destroying it and we're just You know going to have to live with those consequences But you know praise god that he can protect his people no matter what happens around them You know what this whole country could just be utterly a wasteland, but god's people could still thrive You know why because we're not going to be like them, but you know what if you model your marriage like the world it'll fail If you if you model your life after the world, it'll fail Hey, if we model our church after the world today, it'll fail today But you know what you model your life after the word of god and it'll stand and you know what? It's going to be tough days for the lazy. It's going to be tough days for the ungodly It's going to be tough days for the feminists and the the pro-lgbt people but you know what for god's people it can still be successful And you know what there's still you know, you say all the economy's being destroyed well, you know, that's going to really hurt the lazy You know, that's going to really hurt the ungodly and the guy that lies and is lazy and doesn't work hard and is foolish And stupid he can't even tell the difference between a man and a woman you know, it's funny because uh You know, sometimes I just do this for fun but I was looking at this like contract job thing or whatever and I was just kind of in I was just kind of like for programming or something like that and I saw they had this like test or whatever you could take and so I just took this it was like a competency test Basically, see how uh smart you are if they want to hire you Well, they had all these questions and they were just logic questions. They were like, hey pick the two statements That end up making a true statement. Okay, and it would it would say like, you know Jan is five years old and jan's married to bill and it would be like pick the two statements Pick the two statements that if you read them together jan is the wife of of tom or whatever Jan is the wife of tom and so you'd have to try and pick two different statements But I was thinking of it while I was reading this I was like you have to use logic reasoning and you have to be right to get this right The leftists who believe that a man is a woman they can't even get any of that, right? Well, I don't know if jan's even a woman or a dude here. This is like, you know They they can't even use simple logic to answer these questions Just the fact that you know that a man is a man and that one plus one equals two today You know what? It's going to help you in the workforce because the guy that cares about money He still wants someone with a brain in his head to operate his machinery He still wants someone that's going to show up and not going to you know Lie to him and he's not going to constantly threaten him with a lawsuit every time he does something wrong like the fags will Okay, he just wants a normal person to get the job done and you know what the godly was to shine like the sun You know, even in the most wicked worlds of our past christians always rose to the top Why because they're the smartest and hardest working people? That's a little bit of side note here, but i'm telling you men need to lead the day In the world and in your house and when you lead in your house people will look and they say wow I wish my wife would obey me I wish I could tell my wife what to do And she wasn't mad at me about it I wish I could lead my wife. I wish I could you know guide my wife and they say how do you get that done? Oh because we believe the bible in our house Oh because I actually nourish her with the word of god because I actually teach her the bible And because we're actually a godly family and they're going to look at that and they're going to be envious of the relationship You have with your wife today They say oh i'm on my seventh wife You know, oh man, I can't even keep a job down. I can't even get a family down I've got visitation rights, you know four times this christmas And it's like i'd rather just hey, we're just celebrating at home with our family Don't go the way of the world First going to chapter 14 look at verse 33 for god is not the author of confusion But of peace as in all churches of the saints let your women keep silence in the churches for it is not permitted Under them to speak but they are commanded to be under obedience as also sayeth the law and if they will learn anything Let them ask their husbands at home. Look you need to teach your wife The bible says when your wife has a question, you should answer it. You should be a a man of answers today A man of knowledge a man of wisdom a man who she wants to ask questions Go through a diffusions five go back And in chapter five verse 24 it said therefore as the church is subject unto christ So let their wives be to their own husbands and everything if your wife's going to be subject in everything You know that tells me you need to tell her what to do in everything How can she be obedient in everything if you're not even telling her what to do in everything The only way for your wife to be obedient to you in everything is for you to tell her what to do in everything And you know what we need men today to tell their wives what to do and you say oh you're so mean and oh You're so evil. You know what the things I tell my wife to do she wants to do I'm like look when I go to work. I'm not going to be like you can't tell me what to do boss He's going to fire me What if I i'm not going to say god Don't tell me what to do today How blasphemous right? In the same way that I have I treat god It's going to be oftentimes the same way that my wife's going to treat me And when I look at god's word and I just say oh you can't tell me what to do I don't want to do that. I'll just ignore that one And when your wife sees how you submit to god oftentimes that's going to be how she submits to you You say well my wife doesn't submit to me at all. Why are you submitting to god? Are you just a big hypocrite? Well, I mean I go to church But then you know when i'm not at church i'm a horrible person Okay. Well, I guess maybe your wife can do that too She can come to church and pretend like she's a good wife. But then when you're not at church, she's a horrible person, too She's a horrible person, too Because guess what oftentimes when you lead in a bad example your spouse will also follow in a bad example When you're leading in a good example, you're giving her the opportunity to be in a good example Look at verse 31 Last one I have and then i'm going to get a couple practical applications verse 31 for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined into his wife and they too Shall be one flesh This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning christ in the church nevertheless Let every one of you in particular. So love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband So the bible says that something very important you need to leave his father and his mother You need to leave his father and his mother. I feel like I could scream these words and people won't listen You know god said this a lot And i'm going to make you go there go to genesis chapter two go to genesis He said you're supposed to leave. So what are you supposed to do? You need to love your wife You need to leave your wife and you need to leave your parents Leave your parents and this is in a lot of ways not even just physically, okay You know, this is the authoritarian in town when you get married you not dad Not your dad not her dad you You need to leave you need to become the man in your relationship And i'm telling you if you want to improve your marriage today, you have to leave Okay, and i'm not saying that you can't both interact with one another or see each other, you know Even on a semi-regular basis, but you know what it needs to feel like you left Needs to feel like you left and i'll get some practical application but let's see the bible genesis chapter 2 verse 24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh Go to matthew chapter 19 matthew chapter number 19 In the new testament, so we have ephishians chapter 5 saying hey You need to leave your father and your mother one of the first things mentioned in the bible that you need to leave your father And your mother go to matthew. We're going to see jesus christ even saying this matthew 19 verse number four And he answered and said unto them Have you not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female and said for this cause shall a man leave Father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they twain shall be one flesh Wherefore they are no more twain but one flesh what therefore god hath joined together Let not man put asunder so we have in genesis god saying leave father and mother we have in matthew Jesus christ saying leave father and mother we had an ephishian leave father and mother. Hey go to mark Go to mark Let me ask you this question How many times does the bible? Reiterate the same commandment. It's not that often I mean sometimes it will but i'm just saying like when it's saying it three four five six like verbatim Don't you think it's like maybe I should pay attention to that one Right. I mean there's lots of commandments that are only found one time You know, how about tattoos tattoo, you know? That's not pretty marks on my body, you know That's one time and you know what to some people would be like getting a tattoo is like horrible You mean to me i've always thought it was terrible and I never wanted one. I think they're weird but at the end of the day like some people They'll they'll have no problem saying no tattoo, but they'll live with mom and dad And it's like well, this one's mentioned so many more times and even by jesus christ himself, you know You can't escape this one. You know, the people are like, well i'm red letter only. Uh, it's in matthew and mark Okay, well i'm paul only. Well, it's ephisians Why i'm old testament oh, it's in tennesis It's like I don't know which how do you escape this one? I'm like i'm david only, you know It's like i'm sure I can find it. Okay, buddy Don't pressure me mark chapter 10. Look at verse number six Mark chapter number 10 look at verse six But from the beginning of the creation god made them male and female for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother And cleave to his wife and they twain shall be one flesh So then they are no more twain, but one flesh what therefore god has joined together Let not man put us under look. It's a really important thing that you leave mom and dad physically emotionally spiritually all of it You become your own and i'll tell you what if you really really really really want to improve your marriage And you haven't done this this will dramatically improve your marriage It'll dramatically improve your marriage because why because now all of a sudden a lot of the emotional support knowledge Information that you were getting from mom and dad or whatever has to be transferred to someone and you're going to transfer it to your spouse And is you're going to put more into your relationship you're going to put more you're going to lean into each other more And you're going to grow closer together more, you know, if you're just with your parents It's natural that you're going to get enjoyment Knowledge time camaraderie fellowship all that from them And that's okay, that's why it's important to leave so then you're giving it to your spouse So you're you're blessing your spouse and you're getting closer to your spouse and becoming more intimate with your spouse When you're just around the parents all the time, you know what you're just going to feel like brother and sister It's going to be weird You're not going to have the same fondness. You're not going to have the same kind of intimacy You're not going to have the same kind of relationship when you're just living in the basement of mom And Mom's cooking your meals and mom's doing the laundry and mom's telling you where to go Hey, you need to man up and leave And cleave leave and cleave and your spouse Now I've taught you the principles. What are the three principles love? lead leave Okay, if you do these things you will improve your marriage But sometimes people hear this and it means nothing to them So i'm going to give you some really really specific statements In these three areas so that you can know what that looks like practically, okay I have 25 practical tips and i'm not going to give you a lot of you know commentary on all these I'm, just going to kind of read the statement. Okay Let's focus on love for a moment. Again. We've gone we're doing full circle love lead Leave all right statement number one Love your wife and let her know it Love your wife and let her know it and what does that mean? I love you You should say these words to your spouse often On a regular basis, I love you and you know what when you start saying things it ends up changing your attitude It ends up changing your perspective You should tell your spouse that you love her that you think that she's beautiful that you like being around her You should say positive things to your wife all the time Let her know it don't have secret love in your relationship number two be thoughtful and expressive to your wife bring her flowers perfume chocolates milkshakes Whatever She likes it and even if she says oh you didn't have to do that for me don't listen to her listen to me Lead Be thoughtful and expressive to your wife demonstrate your love through action Number three be gentle in all of your dealings with your wife. Never be harsh or physically abusive And look you should just be kind and gentle to your spouse. You should love your spouse. You should never Physically hurt them because you're stronger than they are you know They should never be reciprocated with physical pain and you know what that is going to destroy intimacy in your relationship Be gentle with your wife treat her like you would a newborn baby, you know You're not going to be harsh with a newborn baby. You're going to be gentle and nurturing and cherishing That's how you should be with your wife Be someone that she loves to come with to and and even has problems And you're not going to hurt her or harm her physically or emotionally or spiritually Number four do not brag about another lady Man that one needs a whole sermon Go to job 31 for a moment though. I'll have you go to a couple places job 31. How many losers? In their garage. They have a pent-up girl in the garage They have the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Calendar Hey, they love to talk about how beautiful all the celebrities are. Oh, man Did you see this film so-and-so looks so hot and so attractive and oh man, I'd really like to be with her You should never utter these words ever Never talk about another lady in that way never brag about other ladies Even if it's not even physical pair just like well, she's a really good cook I'm telling you how to improve your marriage. Okay, never say this Never say well, she looked really good today and I really liked her hair and she looks really nice and you know Why don't you wear something like that? Why don't you ever dress like that? Why don't you ever go and do that people will say this stuff and I cringe so hard when I hear it I'm, just thinking like what what dude you're not scoring points with yourself here Don't brag on other ladies. Don't talk about other ladies You know when you get the song of Solomon and i'm not having to turn here i'll read for you The bible says there are three score queens and four score queens There are three score queens and four score concubines and virgins without number my dove mine defiles, but one She is the only one of her mother She is the choice one of her that bear her the daughter saw her and blessed her Yay, the queens and the concubines and they praised her when the husband is talking about his wife. He says there's no one like her You know, he's bragging on her He said hey, there's all these other women, but it's her she's the choice one She's the one look you married her You know part of the vow when we do a vow here is forsaking all others You know what? It means to forsake To just completely abandon get rid of have nothing to do with Look, once you got married you kissed every other relationship with a woman. Goodbye Bye Gone, even mom say bye to mom Say bye to all the cheerleaders Say bye to all the ex-girlfriends say bye to all the hollywood whores today They're probably not even interested in you. Anyways They're interested in women or whatever Okay They're all a bunch of dykes and freaks. Anyways, they might even be a dude. You don't even know Even worse Look you should never brag about another lady. Look what it says in joe 31 verse 1. I made a covenant with mine eyes Why then should I think upon a maid? He said he doesn't he tries not even to think about another woman and look obviously we're men it's impossible To avoid these type of sins, but you need to do your best And you certainly should not let it come out of your mouth. And you know what comes out of your mouth what you're thinking about So if you can stop yourself from thinking it it's going to be really easy to control your tongue But you know what when you're thinking about it all the time It's going to be really hard because it's going to start pouring out of your mouth It's going to start infecting your heart, you know, you should be thinking about your wife all day And thinking about what she does for you and cherishing her Number five keep appointments with your wife Even points with your wife You want to improve your marriage honor your word with your wife Number six come home from work at the time expected If not possible call as soon as you can I'm telling you you want to improve your marriage come home at the time expected And if you can't for whatever reason things happen Maybe you have to stay at work late or whatever let her know value her time value her emotions Number seven hold your relationship with your wife very sacred do not reveal it to others Use discretion, you know the things that are between you and your wife should be between you and your wife And you know a lot of people say like oh, of course Yeah, but guys will like to talk to their buddy And even sometimes women do this they talk to so-and-so or they talk to their dad Or they talk to their brother or they talk to whatever don't share the things that are going on in your relationship with your spouse to anybody Good or bad Especially not bad, but you know, not even you know, it's a sacred relationship. It's a secret between you two You know the in song of solomon It's like this garden and it's like there's a lot of this mystery and there's these special things between them You know the more you make your marriage special the more special it will be The more you just put on display, you know, these people that have their uh whole lives broadcasted on tv like duck dynasty Your relation is not special anymore. Just fake You're not real, you know, don't broadcast everything and make it public make it private. Okay? Number eight eat out with your wife at least once a week Now if that's not financially possible, that's not something you can do cook for her And look the reason why you take your wife out is so that she doesn't have to do what? Plan cook clean deal with everything. Okay So if you can't afford it, then you just cook clean plan and coordinate You know what do it once a week you say do I have to do that? I'm giving you practical tips to improve your marriage. You want to improve your marriage? And you say well, I can't cook. Well, it sounds like you need to make a few extra bucks and just take her out And I didn't even say take her out to the to the nice restaurant just take her out, okay you get to pick Subpoint don't ask her where you're going number nine Have fun with your wife Here's a statement couples that pray together stay together Or couples that pray together and play together stay together. And here's another one just subpoint of this pray for your wife You want to improve your marriage pray for your wife? Get your affections on her Number 10 help her in some of the household duties Did I have to do that? No I'm telling you how to improve your marriage Help with the household duties every once in a while, you know, jesus watched the disciples feet. Did he have to He said for us to do likewise even If you can walk look I would way rather clean some dishes than dylan's feet I Come on, you know, I'd rather, you know, give my wife a pedicure than dylan That'd be weird and don't pry quit. I hope Number 11 be interested in what your wife's activities were for the day Find out about how many times the kids vomited and she had to clean it up or whatever, you know Or whatever she does whatever she did, you know be interested in your wife That's in the love category lead category number 12 assume your place of leadership in the home You know in order to lead you actually have to lead Pretty self-explanatory, but sometimes you need that you are the authoritarian be the authoritarian number 13 lead in spiritual activities Say grace at the table lead the family devotions come to church with your family Some men don't even come to church with their families a shame number 14 be as pleasant as possible at home Be as pleasant as possible at home Make home a sanctuary today not a venting arena Make it a sanctuary not a venting arena Number 15 go shopping together Enjoy the commonplace things of life with each other now again I personally hate shopping I'm telling you though how to improve your marriage and you know, you improve your marriage doing things that they like and You know what if you take her out shopping every once in a while of your own volition of your own record Maybe she won't ask you to take her shopping Okay, and again, you're supposed to lead number 16 never criticize her parents And when you don't criticize her parents you're setting the example for her to not criticize Your parents 17 be intimate with your wife You know the Bible says let the husband render under the wife do benevolence and likewise also the wife and the husband So according to the Bible, you know, you need to be intimate with your wife and you would sound oh, that's easy You know, it sounds easy But there's lots of men actually struggle in that area and they need to make an effort and you know why they struggle in this area Because of all the other things I was talking about because they got the Dallas Cowboys Calendar because they were thinking about McDonald's on the way to home You know Instead of thinking about what's cooking at home. They're thinking about McDonald's today Hey, you know what McDonald's, you know may taste good in the in the moment But it's you know, no one's like i'm really glad I had McDonald's afterwards or Taco Bell afterwards, you know, it's terrible You know, you're gonna be satisfied with meals at home. You know what you need to eat at home 18 do not take the children's side when your wife disciplines them Stay together discipline. If you don't like your wife's discipline you tell her privately not in front of the children Number 19 let the past be the past Hey, if you've forgiven your wife on something you're supposed to forget it And whatever grievances is that look the Bible said not to be bitter against them. Remember? Number 20 don't be alone with the opposite gender Number 20 don't be alone with the opposite gender And that's not even just for temptation even accusation You don't want to have the wrong and you don't so don't want you just don't want to Maybe your wife sees you with another woman or finds out about it It could destroy your heart a little bit even if it was innocent Even if there was nothing weird about it Okay, she's just like, you know, you haven't taken her on a date for a month and you take a co-worker out to lunch That'll really cause a lot of problems Now it's a work party and you're all going you're all with your co-workers It's going to be more understandable you go out to lunch with another lady You're setting yourself up for a lot of problems, buddy number 21 husband should handle the finances and You know give your wife a little extra in her budget now, let me say this when it comes to handling the finances I i'm not saying that the wife can't do the the work but the husband should still be the overseer of that work even if you want your wife to help do the daily labor of the finances whether that's going to the bank or You know even putting together a spreadsheet or paying a bill here and there that's fine But at the end of the day the husband needs to be the one that knows what's going on in the finances He's making the decisions about the finances He's setting up the budgets for the family and the home and he knows what he's doing And if your wife is better than you at the finances then ask her to teach you How to do the finances and then lead the finances or learn or go find out how to do the finances and do it 22 don't be preoccupied when at home You want to improve your marriage give her attention Don't give youtube attention It doesn't need your attention The chinese government already knows what you're like, okay You're already on a list I have a few more Let's go to the leave category 23 be your wife's hero. Not her dad Be your wife's hero. Not her dad now in order for you to be your wife's hero. You need to be better than her dad And you say well i'm not well then get better Don't be like well my dad could fix this My dad would know this answer My dad could you know show me how to shoot a gun my dad could you know grill a steak my dad could You know, whatever dad can do you're gonna do And you become your wife's hero that will improve your marriage Because you need to leave father and mother and you need to become father you need to become husband you need to become man Okay, man up today. Quit being a soy boy. Well, i'm really good at xbox and call of duty Yeah, my dad didn't do that It's like okay. Well, I need to not do that then grow up 24 provide for your family without the parents If you're not providing all the income, it's daddy that's providing income. You're not a man You need to leave And you need to provide for your home And you know what you need to be the provider and when you're not the provider it's going to cause problems in your marriage Hey, you want to improve your marriage be the provider? provide for needs Here's the last one provide answers not dad You want when your wife has a problem. She's like i'm not going to call dad. I'm going to call my husband Because he's got the answers he knows what we're going to do What's the title of the sermon how men can improve their marriage how men can improve marriage you say I don't agree With every single thing you said well agree with the bible And then I clearly showed you from the bible that you're supposed to love your wife supposed to lead your wife And you're supposed to leave father and mother and I gave you some practical tips. I think that you're supposed to be a father and mother And you're supposed to leave father and mother and I gave you some practical tips I think that they're in line with the principles of the bible and I think that if you employ a few of those You will improve your marriage and at the end of the day, you know, it takes two to tango But even if your wife is the worst wife in the world, you could still be the best husband in the world There's nothing stopping you and you know what even though some people on this planet are the worst people god's still the best god God didn't change how good he was God didn't change his sacrifice And you know what? We're supposed to be holy like he's holy and separate like he's he's separated And I pray that people would really emphasize marriage because marriage You know while it's not the most important thing serving god's the most important thing It's usually really connected to the rest of your life. You have a bad marriage. You're going to hurt at work You're going to hurt with your kids and you'll even hurt at church in many cases And so it's important to you know, foster this relationship And build this relationship and you know what this relationship get better over time Your marriage can can continually get better and better and better and we should strive to improve our marriages. Let's close in prayer Thank you father so much for this These chapters of the bible that we were able to read and for the instructions you've given us and thank you for the example you set And showing love grace and mercy unto us and I pray as husbands as uh fathers as men in this room That we would take from your example and we would strive to be better husbands better fathers better men That we learn how to love our wives We learn how to lead our families and that we learn how to leave and to be our own independent Family unit and I pray that you would give us strength that you give us boldness and courage Even though the world's trying to tear apart the family that through your principle in your word We can grow an even stronger family in jesus name. We pray amen You Song number 472. This is my father's world This is my father's world Oh rocks and trees of skies and seas This is my father's world The birds their carols raise The morning light the hallely white declared their maker's praise This is my father's world He shines in all that's fair In the rustling grass, I hear him pass. He speaks to me everywhere This is my father's world Oh, let me ne'er forget That though the wrong sings off so strong god is a roller yet This is my father's world The battle is not done Jesus who died shall be satisfied And earth and him be one Amen. Thank you all for coming this morning. You are dismissed. We're having another service at one just to let you know god bless You So You