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The mighty men around us falling, courage almost gone. Hold the fort, for I am coming, Jesus, signal still. Wave the answer back to heaven, by thy grace we will. See the glorious banner waving, hear the trumpet blow. In our leader's name we'll triumph over every foe. Hold the fort, for I am coming, Jesus, signal still. Wave the answer back to heaven, by thy grace we will. Fierce and long the battle rages, but our help is near. Onward comes our great commander, cheer, my comrades cheer. Hold the fort, for I am coming, Jesus, signal still. Wave the answer back to heaven, by thy grace we will. How about the 27th? Over the cross? We're too slow? It'll be OK, I think. I like it. Over the cross. Everyone there, you ready? Here we go. On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross, the emblem of suffering and shame. And I love that old cross, where the dearest and best, for a world of hot sinners was slain. So I'll cherish the old rugged cross, till my trophies at last I lay down. I will cling to the old rugged cross, and exchange this one day for a crown. Oh, that old rugged cross, so despised by the world, has a wondrous subtraction for me. For the dear old rugged cross, I'll exchange this one day for a crown. I'll exchange this one day for a crown. I'll exchange this one day for a crown. I'll exchange this one day for a crown. So I'll cherish the old rugged cross, till my trophies at last I lay down. I will cling to the old rugged cross, and exchange this one day for a crown. In the old rugged cross, stained with blood so divine, a wondrous beauty I see. For the dawn that old cross, Jesus suffered and died, to pardon and sanctify me. So I'll cherish the old rugged cross, till my trophies at last I lay down. I will cling to the old rugged cross, and exchange this one day for a crown. To the old rugged cross, I will ever be true, in shame and reproach gladly there. Then he'll call me someday to my home far away, where his glory forever I'll share. So I'll cherish the old rugged cross, till my trophies at last I lay down. I will cling to the old rugged cross, and exchange this one day for a crown. All right, good evening Proverbs, chapter number 18. Proverbs 18, the Bible reads, through desire a man having separated himself, seeketh and intermetalleth with all wisdom. A fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself. When the wicked cometh, then cometh also contempt, and with ignominy reproach. The words of a man's mouth are as deep waters, and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook. It is not good to accept the person of the wicked, to overthrow the righteous in judgment. A fool's lips enter into contention, and his mouth calleth for strokes. A fool's mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul. The words of a tale bearer are as wounds. They go down into the innermost parts of the belly. He also that is slothful in his work is brother to him that is a great waster. The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous runneth into it, and is safe. The rich man's wealth is his strong city, and has an high wall in his own conceit. Before destruction, the heart of man is haughty, and before honor is humility. He that answereth a matter before he heareth it is folly, it is folly and shame unto him. The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity, but a wounded spirit who can bear. The heart of the prudent geteth knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge. A man's gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men. He that is first in his own cause seemeth just, but his neighbor cometh and searcheth him. The lot causeth contentions to cease, and parteth between the mighty. A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, and their contentions are like the bars of a castle. A man's belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth, and with the increase of his lips shall he be filled. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord. The poor useth entreaties, but the rich answereth roughly. A man that hath friends must show himself friendly, and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." Let's bow our heads for a word of prayer. Father in Heaven, we thank you for this day, and we thank you for the Mighty Men's Conference, and we just ask that you would please fill Pastor Shelley with your Holy Spirit, and help us as your servants to gain wisdom from the sermon, and help us all to have safe travels. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Well, it's great to be here with you guys, and I want to preach a sermon about something that I think is an important concept, you know, especially at an event like this, and caring for beyond an event like this, and that is about friendship, and I want to preach a sermon called Be a Good Friend. Be a Good Friend, and I think, unfortunately, in our world, many people are just not very good friends anymore, and they struggle at what being a good friend really looks like in the Bible, and so I want to talk about three concepts, but we see here in this passage in verse 24, the Bible says, a man that hath friends must show himself friendly, and there is a friend that's to get closer than a brother. Friends can be an important aspect of our world and our lives, and specifically for David, he had a friend that was closer than a brother. His own brethren really didn't like him. He didn't really have a close relationship with his physical brethren, or those that were from his mother, but Jonathan, who was not of the same family, ended up being a very close friend with David, and he even exceeded that relationship, exceeded that which was even of women. I want you to go to 1 Samuel chapter 18. I want to talk about that, but if you want to have friends, you kind of have to show yourself friendly first, and you know, a lot of what I want to preach tonight is kind of you taking the initiative to being that good friend first, and thinking about how to be good friends, and you know, it's not always reciprocated. Sometimes you are a good friend to someone, and they're not really a good friend to you, or perhaps you want to be a really good friend with someone, or you want to be close with someone, but they maybe don't feel exactly the same or want to be as close to you, but that's okay because the reality is you can be a good friend to someone even if they're not really a great friend to you, and who's our best example? This is Jesus Christ, who is a great friend to all of us, even though in many cases, we're not that great of a friend towards Jesus, and in fact, there's many people that are saved who are not friends at all towards Jesus Christ, and yet Jesus is constantly trying to be a great friend and a good friend unto them, and so we can be good friends to people even if they end up not being a good friend towards us, and we want to kind of learn what it means and what it looks like to be a good friend, and point number one, and this is probably the most important point that I want to make this evening, is in order to be a good friend, you kind of have to humble yourself and you have to lift up your brother. You have to lift up your brother, and again, this comes from a place of not only caring about yourself, but actually genuinely caring about other individuals, and in this part of 1 Samuel, it's really kind of incredible the spirit and attitude that Jonathan had towards David, and I think this is why. You say like, why is Jonathan and David such good friends? I think this is why. We're about to read why we can see that they were such good friends and they had such great love towards one another that lasted their entire lifetime, and I believe they're still friends in heaven, but this is one of the reasons. Look at this in verse one. And it came to pass when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. In order to be a good friend, you have to genuinely love someone else. Jonathan genuinely loves David and he wants to be a friend of David, and as an application of that, what does he do? It says in verse two, and Saul took him that day and would let him go no more home to his father's house, and Jonathan and David made a covenant because he loved him as his own soul, and Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him and gave it to David and his garments, even to his sword and to his bow and to his girdle. So Jonathan is the son's, I'm sorry, the king's son. He's the son of a king. He, in a lot of ways, you would think is the next heir to the kingdom. He's supposed to take over in his father's footsteps, but it's just become abundantly clear that David is going to be the next person and that David is the one that God wants to be the next person, and we see Jonathan humbling himself and actually embracing David. Now, just for a quick side note, this is replacement theology because the Bible's all through replacement theology. Saul rejects David, which is the old, and then the new, Jonathan, he embraces David and likes him, and that's a picture of how Israel rejected Jesus Christ, and the church, which is represented by Jonathan, I like that name. It's a good name. He ends up accepting David and loving David, and so we can see that the church is replacing Israel even right here. Okay, so there's just so much great replacement theology all over the Bible, right? But notice that Jonathan, he, in a sense, is supposed to be the king, but yet he recognizes, you know, David is really the better man. David is the person that should be in this position, and there's nothing wrong with David. Why can't Jonathan simply say, you know what, I'm gonna strip myself of this position. I'm gonna hand it over to David, and I'm gonna allow David to be the one to be king, and I'm gonna be supportive of him. This shows that Jonathan is willing to lift up his brethren, and he's willing to humble himself. Now, in order to physically lift something that's heavy, what do you typically have to do? I mean, if you were gonna lift something really heavy, some furniture, you have to stoop down, and you have to get in a position, and then you can lift it up, right? You literally physically have to humble yourself. You have to lower yourself to then lift that object up, and so we kind of see this with Jonathan where he's literally stripping himself. He's, in a sense, lowering himself and humbling himself so that he can then what? Lift someone else up. Now, what does that mean, practically speaking? Because we can say this all day long, like humble yourself, but what does that really mean? It's genuinely just thinking about someone else. He's not thinking about me being the king and me wearing this robe and me wearing this attire. He's thinking about David being the king, David needing to be wearing this clothing, David's the guy I need to support, and that's what it looks like to actually humble yourself is that you're just genuinely thinking about someone else's success, not your own. And I think, unfortunately, we live in such a narcissistic society and a culture that really praises self and thinks about self continually that we don't take very much time to just think about someone else and just pick someone else and just say, like, I wanna see if you can be successful or I wanna help you succeed or I want something good to happen to you and so we actually try to help that person. Now, for all of us, we have this as a goal in our lives in many capacities, right? Maybe we are constantly trying to lift up our children. But in many cases, people are actually investing in their children selfishly. They're actually investing in their children for them because they want themselves to look good or they're investing in their employees because they need their company to succeed. But a friend is doing it because they just genuinely like the person. They don't have to. It's not their family member. It's not necessarily gonna make them look better. It's not gonna make them money. It's not their company growing. It's just they genuinely look at someone and just say, I like you and I just want you to succeed as a person. And that's what it really means to be a good friend. Yet so many people today just are not doing this on any level. They're not genuinely investing in any other person or hoping that another person succeeds or thinking about someone else's life and wanting them to be successful. They're just mostly concerned with self. Go ahead to Philippians chapter number two. Go to Philippians chapter number two and we'll see a reminder here, a familiar reminder of the idea that we should not always just be focused on self. We should be focused on others. And if you genuinely say, I want to have friends and I don't even wanna have friends. I wanna have really good friends. Well, let me ask you this question. How often are you thinking about them and their success and humbling yourself and trying to praise them and not just with lip service, but genuinely doing things to help them succeed? You know, building something for them, helping them achieve some goal, encouraging them to whatever they're doing in their lives. You know, when you get into a conversation with somebody, are you constantly talking about what you do and what you're achieving and what you want? Or are you asking them about their lives and asking about their job and asking about what they're trying to do? And you're trying to encourage them and thinking about them. This is why someone wants to be your friend. And to have genuine good friends, they actually care about you, not just themselves or what they're getting out of the relationship. They actually care about what someone else thinks and they wanna hear them talk. You know, some people, and you've probably been around this person, when you're communicating with them or talking to them, all they're doing while you're talking is thinking about the next thing they're gonna say. They can't wait to just say something else and you'll bring something up and then they just change topic and they don't even necessarily comment on what you said. Now, of course, you know, our brains are sometimes scattered and we don't always necessarily think in a cohesive manner. But you know what I'm talking about. The certain individuals that they don't really wanna hear you talk, they're just waiting, they're taking a breath for them to get the next monologue in. And you know what, that's just genuinely not someone you like to hang out with. You generally wanna hang out with people that are actually interacting what you have to say, they're thinking about you, they care about your thoughts and ideas. And so, you know, if you struggle to have friends, you should think about what people are saying. And if you say like, I've never even thought about this stuff, you probably do need to think about this. Hey, when I'm talking with somebody, if I wanna be a friend, I need to think about what they're saying, think about their lives, think about their interests and what they have to say and not necessarily only concerned about me. Philippians chapter two, verse three of the Bible says, let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind, let each esteem other better than themselves. Now, this I think is a very tall task. You know, Philippians two is a very high goal. It's not something that's very easy to do, but it's really personified in Jonathan who genuinely thought David is actually better than me and I want him to succeed and be a positive king. And it's not gonna be successful for the kingdom. It's not gonna be successful for Israel if there's a controversy over who's king. And we literally see this in David's life after Jonathan, where we have another son of Saul who's actually fighting David for the kingdom and think about how many countless men died in a civil war that made no sense because that son couldn't humble himself and recognize, hey, David is the guy that God wants to lead the nation of Israel. And if he had just gotten behind, he himself wouldn't have died and he himself wouldn't necessarily cause innocent bloodshed to ruin their nation because he was just too prideful. And the reality is most people are just not good friends because they're just too prideful. And you know why they're too prideful? Because they have to be number one. And there's just so many individuals out there, they just have to be the top, they have to be the big shot, they have to be number one, and as soon as someone bucks at their position, then they can't be friendly toward that person anymore. They can't be friends with that individual and it's only by pride cometh contention. And it's really embarrassing, honestly, to me, and it's kind of shameful to me, that as a movement, the new IFB, we kind of get all these different labels, but one of them is kind of this idea of being this divisive, cult-like group where you have to just join as a church or as a pastor, you have to be lockstep with anything that Pastor Anderson says or something like that in order to be a part of this group. And if you kind of just step out of line, then they'll just crucify you or attack you or something like that. But the reality is it's like the exact opposite. The reality is that Pastor Anderson is one of the friendliest people I know and he's actually very easy to get along with. He's someone that is really willing to accept and overlook a lot of faults, a lot of differences, a lot of problems, but then what happens is a prideful individual who can't stand the fact that someone else is better than them in any category just decides to just start picking a fight through pride and envy and strife and then acting like now I have to separate. Well, here's the reality. That person's not a good friend because they just can't handle the fact that they're not number one. And it's like, first of all, it's not even a competition. We're all striving to be faithful servants of Jesus Christ. We're all followers of Jesus Christ. We're all Christians. We're not Andersonites. Weird that you preach that sermon. Weird that you labor with yourself that and then you say that we're the cult, right? But then these individuals, they just get this mindset like, well, I just can't be a part of this group or I can't continue being friends with these individuals. Why? It's because they can't be number one. That's the reason. It's because they have to be number one. They have to be at the top. They have to be someone that everyone's looking to and as soon as they can't, well, I'm just gonna keep breaking fellowship with all these other individuals so I can continue being the cult leader of my little camp, so I can continue being the head honcho and the individual that everybody's looking to and I can't stand it if my church members listen to another preacher or another pastor or to another church and it's because of pride. It's the same pride as Saul's son and it's the same pride that destroys and hurts people that don't need to be destroyed and causes all this division, causes a civil war literally amongst Christians, amongst brethren that is completely unnecessary and the reality is it's just that person is not a good friend. It's not like Pastor Anderson is just going around just trying to like ruin churches or hurt people. In fact, I guarantee he's bringing more people into church than virtually any other pastor in the world. I mean, if you were to just say, why are you here to every person that's in church? You know, people that have been added to churches in the last 10 years, I guarantee he's probably one of the top people on the list of saying I'm here because of Pastor Steven Anderson. And that's just the reality. Are we gonna sit here and not just, I'm not saying his church, I'm saying other churches. It's funny how the guy that's destroying other people's churches is single-handedly the number one reason why people are coming to the church. And if you think about this, who are the people that are the worst that I'm talking about? It's the people who almost 100% of their church was built on Pastor Anderson and Pastor Jimenez and their movement, isn't it? Isn't that so funny that they literally brought all these people together for them and then now they attack them and they have to hate on them and really it just goes to show that they weren't good friends. Why? Because they weren't thinking about others, they were thinking about themselves. And you know, we need to never have this attitude. Go to Proverbs chapter 27, go to Proverbs chapter 27. You know, when I was starting a church, I thought about this idea, I said, you know, I might just be at Pure Words Baptist Church because that's where I started in Houston, I might just be a warming pod for other great churches. I thought, you know, I might just rally people together, we go soul winning and they hear some preaching, but then they find out, you know, or they realize there's other great preaching or there's other churches where there's even more people or there's other opportunities and they just get more and more into the Bible and they say, I'm going to move to faithful word or I'm going to move to Verde Baptist Church. And I just thought, like, what's wrong with that? You know, I've personally been blessed by Pastor Anderson's preaching and Pastor Minna's preaching and other men's preaching, like they've blessed me and they've made me a better person. And you know what I know? They didn't just make me a better person, they would make a lot of people better people if they would listen to their sermons. And I know it's not just, it's not really them, it's the fact that they're just using the Bible. It's the Bible that makes people better people. But what I know is they're really good at using that sword. Okay, they're just a really good servant of Jesus Christ and they're really good at wielding that sword and I'm thinking, like, why would I want to keep someone away from an individual that'll actually make them better? Like, imagine your friend struggling in some area, whether it's like needing to work out or dieting or health. I mean, imagine you got cured of cancer and your friend comes up to you and says, I have cancer. It's like, well, I don't want to tell you about this hospital that helped me out. You know, that would be weird to not want to tell them about something that actually helped them or blessed them in some way. I would be like, hey, I want to tell you about my friend. I want to tell you about, even if I was a doctor, even if I had my own hospital, if I said, well, this hospital is actually a little better. It'd be like, I would want my friend to go to the best hospital. I want my friend to go to the best physician or the best thing for them specifically, right? And, of course, there's lots of factors. Affordability, where they're at in their life, what's going to be good for their family. But I'm just saying, in general, you should want whatever's best for them, even if it hurts you a little bit, even if you have to strip yourself a little bit, even if you have to lower yourself down a little bit, even if you have to lift someone else up a little bit. I mean, have John the Baptist's attitude of saying, he must increase, but I must decrease. Because, you know, at the end of the day, it's all about Jesus anyways. So there shouldn't be any room for pride anywhere. There shouldn't be any room for pride anyways, because everybody should be following Jesus and not you anyways, cult leader. I mean, if you're just so worried about a man following somebody else, you already have the wrong mentality already. The goal of Christianity is to get people to follow Jesus Christ and to read the Bible. You're not smart, you're not wise, the Bible's smart, and the Bible's wise. It's not your ideas, it's the Bible's ideas. You know, I have my personal opinions, but they pale in comparison to the word of God. This is the program that we're trying to get individuals on. And when it comes to being a good friend, we should always want what's best for our friend, not ourselves. Whatever recommendation, or you give to someone, or counsel, or when you're around someone, you should always want what's best for them. You know, it could even be saying goodbye to a friend. Jonathan and David had to say goodbye to each other at one point. That was what was best for David. Because if David had stayed at Saul's table, he would have kept throwing javelins, he would have kept trying to kill and slay David, and so David had to flee, and so they had to say goodbye. And Jonathan had a hard time with that. He didn't want to admit the truth, he didn't want to admit reality, he didn't want to accept the fact of how his dad, I mean, he was basically an old IFB Christian who just didn't want to reject Zionism. But finally, the truth smacked him in the face when his own dad is trying to kill him, and he's just like, that's what the Bible teaches, you know? Israel hates David. And it's like, how can someone not see that Jews today hate Jesus Christ? It's like, just wake up and realize that's the reality. But the reason is, they don't want to join us out in the wilderness, but the point that I'm trying to make in this dialogue is the fact that David had to say goodbye. What if you had a friend that you personally enjoy and you like in your life, but maybe they need to make a decision that would draw them away from you? They literally move, or they're doing something different. Maybe they work with you, but they have a better opportunity to work somewhere else, or maybe they're gonna go to another church or do something. You know, you should always want what's best for them. Here's something, maybe you're a single guy, and you like this other single guy, but what would be better for them is to get married and not hang out with you anymore. And maybe you just, what's better for them is to say, bye. But you don't like that. You don't necessarily want that. But you know, we should always consider what's better for them, not what's better. Well, who's gonna help pay my rent? Or who's gonna help play Dungeons and Dragons with me or something? Just throw that game in the trash and get a girl, okay? It's a, you know, you like all these role-playing games, playing husbands way too much, you like all these role-playing games, playing husbands way more fun, okay? It's way better than any of these games you've ever played. I promise. And there's way more drama. I promise you that as well, okay? Proverbs chapter 27, look at verse 17. The Bible says, iron sharpened with iron, so a man sharpened it the countenance of his friend. You know, notice what one of these verses is really describing here is that you're sharpening the countenance, what's a countenance? It's his face. It's meaning that when you show up, this person literally smiles or their face changes to being happy just because you're around them. You know, is that what you do when you show up around other people or are they kind of like, or are they excited that you're coming around? Do they enjoy talking to you? Do they enjoy being in your presence? You know, we should strive to cause people to actually want to be around us. Why? Because we're building them up. We're thinking about them. Go over to Exodus chapter 17. I want to go to another verse here. There's a lot of Bible on this subject that we could really talk about, but we need to be careful to think about other men. And you know, I think at a conference like this where we're surrounded with friends, very few people are even related, that you can be challenged to actually think about other people. Because most of the time we're thinking about our job, we're thinking about our wives, we're thinking about our kids, we're thinking about church, we're thinking about all these different things that are going on, we're thinking about us, that this could be a time to also think about friends. And you know, events like this is a good time to make friends. It's a good time to build relationships and to draw close to other people and to genuinely care about other people. And you know, sometimes we should even make decisions that are just better for other people. Like, I don't wanna go here, I don't wanna do this, but I'm gonna do it for you because I know you enjoy it and you like having a companion and I'd just like to be there with you. And sometimes it's even difficult, sometimes we go through difficulties or problems and we have to be there to literally assist our friends. We have a story here at Exodus 17, look at verse 10. So Joshua did as Moses had said to him and fought with Amalek and Moses, Aaron and Hur went up to the top of the hill and it came to pass when Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed and when he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses hands were heavy and they took a stone and put it under him and he sat there on and Aaron and Hur stayed up his hands, the one on the one side and the other on the other side and his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. Now, this doesn't have anything to do with the sermon but this passage is just kind of an incredible passage when you think about the gospel message because notice the symbolic nature of this passage is off the charts if you think about what happened. Number one, they're gonna go to the top of the hill, okay, did you notice? And who goes? Moses, Aaron and Hur. Notice that there's three men that are going to the top of the hill, which pictures what? Jesus Christ and the two thieves that are gonna be crucified with him that are going up to the top of the hill. Then specifically Joshua is going down and he's fighting with Amalek where Joshua kind of symbolizes salvation and victory. That's kind of what his name even means and represents that the Lord saves and that's what he's picturing. And of course we get victory from the gospel. We get our victory over sin, we get our victory over death from Jesus Christ and what he did for us. Then specifically it says Moses hands were heavy and they took a stone and put it under him and this is again picturing how Jesus Christ was crucified on Mount Calvary. He was crucified on the rock. Then additionally his hands were heavy and we literally have one guy staying up his hand on one side and another guy staying up his hand on the other picturing of course the cross. And think about this, his hands are up not willingly. They're forced to be up in that position just like the cross would do with our Lord Jesus Christ where his hands literally could not hold themselves but they're being forced up and that's what literally gives the victory is the crucifixion and the death of our Lord Jesus Christ. We literally get the victory through the cross of what he did. So we have this great picture and symbolism and then of course it even says his hands were steady until the going down of the sun and we know of course that the Lord Jesus Christ died at even which is a picture of when Jesus Christ died and that's how long his hands were stayed then he was taken off the cross and buried. So really I mean this passage you could study it and look at all the symbolism it's just off the charts. But if you think about this also Aaron and I'm sorry yeah Aaron and her they have to help him accomplish this particular task. Moses can't accomplish this task on his own but you know what if Aaron just said like what if I just hang out my hands? You know that's not how it works. You get the victory from holding up Moses' hands. But here's the thing. Moses couldn't got the victory by himself. He needed someone else to literally hold up his hands in order to get the victory and this is how it works in a lot of situations where you know when it comes to a leadership position a leader can only do so much. In some cases he needs people to literally hold up his hands. And you know when it comes to church and it comes to the success of the body of Christ you know the head is not successful if the body doesn't hold it up. The head in some ways is the most important it's where the authority comes from it makes the decisions and some people might even look at it as being the most important but generally speaking a head by itself is worthless. It can't do anything. It can only do something because it's propped up. It's lifted up. But in order for the head to be at the top everything else has to be down below it, doesn't it? And so we see the actual the humility of the rest of our body. We see the humility of the chest and the legs and ultimately the feet which are there at the bottom. But in order for the head to be lifted up the feet have to be at the bottom. You know that doesn't mean the feet aren't important because if you don't have feet you're not going to be very successful. You're not going to be able to go out there in war and be the body of Christ. And when it comes to a church we need people that are going to be the chest the knees and the feet and they have to lower themselves so that the head can be lifted up and that the head can be greatly used. You know we're starting the process of a transition for some of our church plants in Houston and as well as Oklahoma City. You know God willing we're going to ordain Brother Salvador Alvarez September 1st to be the pastor of Pure Word Baptist Church. Brother Oz has recently moved to Oklahoma and God willing you know things going smoothly in a few months he'll be ordained. And we won't have those church plants. But this is what I know. Brother Oz and Brother Salvador they can't do all the work necessary by themselves. And they need some people to help lift up their hands. You know even a soul winning captain or a soul winning lieutenant in our churches some of our tribe leaders they can't lead the soul winning effort by themselves they need other people to come in and assist lead soul winning times take in that effort. You know in order for us to be successful we sometimes just have to lift other people up and we just have to be a good friend to other people for what? For the cause of Christ. Aaron is a good friend unto Moses but ultimately he's a good friend also to accomplish the work of Christ. And you know we need people to be good friends today. I mean we go soul winning in twos. And in many cases the silent partner is even necessary for salvation. Sometimes they help assist in keeping distractions at a minimum or just being less awkward. Sometimes when you go at a door and you're by yourself the person finds it a little more awkward than if there's two guys that are together they can assist, they can help sometimes individuals kind of get stuck and they can even rely on their soul winning partner. And you know two are better than one. And if we can't be friends with each other well then who are we going to be friends with anyways? I mean if you can't be friends with other Christians with other fundamental Baptists you're too separated. You're way too separated. You know we need to be willing to be friends with Christians and especially Baptists and even especially fundamentalist Baptists and even more especially new IFB fundamental Baptists and then the ones that showed up here at the conference. I mean man you're talking about layers upon layers upon layers. I mean these should be people that you should be willing to be friendly towards. And what a shame and embarrassment it would be if people here couldn't be friends or couldn't get along. But you know even in fundamental Baptist churches today people struggle to be friendly. And let's just be honest for a moment because you know we're here to be honest. You know who struggles with this the most? Women. Women are so much more likely to not be friends and not be friendly. But here's the thing you can't force your wife to be friends with anyone. I know that all right. We all know that. You know what I do know? You set an example. And I think that if you want your wife to be more friendly then you need to be more friendly. And you know what we need in churches is more people to be just friendly towards each other because what really makes me upset as a pastor and what I see often and I know it's not just my church it's everywhere is how many people hold animosity towards one another in their church or they don't like each other in their church and it's often what it's pride. And why do sometimes people why are people just not friendly towards others? It's a lot of times it's just they're envious of who that person's friends are. It's like I want to be friends with brother Rich but Rich wants to be friends with Cameron. And because of that then I can't be friendly towards Rich or something. And it's like that's just silly. You know I can just be friends towards Rich even if he's not wanting to be my best friend. If he wants to be best friends with Cameron and they really like each other why can't they be best friends? Why can't they hang out? And why can't I just hang out when I get an opportunity and I'll just be their nice friend? And you know if Cameron starts getting selfish and I continually caring about Rich maybe Rich will kind of warm up to me and be like you know I kind of like hanging out with brother Shelley a little bit more. He's just being a little bit more of a good friend for me and then that relationship changes in the future. But you know what I'm not gonna sit here and be like I just can't be friendly to this person or like this person because of who their friends are or what they're doing. You know we need to just be willing to be friendly towards people and help people because you know we should be the body of Christ and the body of Christ needs to work together and we need to be friendly towards one another and you know what to be a good friend you just have to lift other people up. You can't sit here and be like well I don't like the elbow so I'm no longer gonna be a knee anymore. Well you know the knee and the elbow are never gonna be close friends. And if they were close friends it'd be kind of awkward. You know like but you know what the knee should still be friendly towards the elbow. And you know in this church you probably won't necessarily be best friends with every single body part. You may not even be close to the head. You know some people can't stand being in a church where they're not the neck. You know they have to be that pain in the neck church member because they have to be close to the head. They have to be close to the pastor or they have to be best friends with the pastor or the pastor's wife or whatever. You know what just get over yourself and be the foot. Just get over yourself and be the ass okay. You're just don't be the neck all right because you're just not that person. You know what we like about our necks is when they're not being a pain. They're just there they just exist. You know they're not trying to do anything special and really that's a lot of times I find like the head that's the kind of people they like to be around is low maintenance people that are just supportive. You know the people that are really high maintenance and they need a lot of attention. It's like we're just trying to like stay away from those individuals okay. But you know we need everyone and we can't all be best friends but you know we can all be friends and we can all be good friends to one another and we can all support one another and we can all be excited when someone else does something good or is gonna be greatly used and we should just recognize hey the head should be the head. We don't want to put the head and make it the kneecap. The head needs to be the head and you know if it's David it's David. You know if brother Oz ends up becoming the pastor well just get excited that he's the pastor. Don't sit here and try to be the pastor. If you're not the soul winning captain just don't be the soul winning captain. You know whoever's whatever just support them and be excited for them and encourage them and just be a good friend to them and help them to succeed. You know that is what Christianity should really be about. Just be Aaron or her and just sit there and just hold up the hands of Moses and just say hey we're on the winning team. We're on the winning side. It doesn't matter who I am or how I'm being used. I'm gonna be a good friend to this person because you know what they're a Christian and it's just so frustrating how so many Christians a day you know they can't be friends. You know just it makes me mad. It makes me mad that Fundamental Baptist won't be my friend because I'm willing to be friends with these people. I'm willing to be friends like I don't even care that they're weird and have bad doctrine and aren't even a very good preacher. I'm willing to be their friend but then they won't be my friend because I like good preachers and I'm thinking like why am I a bad person because I like good preachers or why am I a friend because I sincerely disagree with you on a certain doctrine and I want us to you know talk it out or have a conversation or I'll preach my opinion of preachers but then they just get so upset like oh you better believe what I believe or you better not ever preach about what I preach you know saying that I said something dumb. It's like well have you said something dumb? You know like shouldn't we love truth more than you? Shouldn't we love truth more than your personality? Shouldn't we care about the body of Christ more than your church? Shouldn't we care about what's real and what's right and what's good for other people rather than what's good for you? We should be willing to be good friends and you know what I'm not saying that I want to be best friends with everybody don't hear me wrong but we should be willing to try to be friendly towards all kinds of people in fact even loving our own enemies sometimes. Now if it's an enemy of Christ you know I'm willing to pray for that person as well the reprobate prayer but people that are not obviously the enemies of God we should give them the benefit of the doubt and we should be friendly towards them and we should be kind to them and we should think well of them and we should want them to succeed. You know you don't want to be Absalom who just can't stand the fact that David's judging and he's just like I wish I was the judge. I wish I was an individual. You know when we have those thoughts we need to take them captive and cast them down and replace them with the right kind of thoughts and say you know what but I'm not that person and this person is good at their job they should be that position so I should just be excited about that and encourage that person and you know maybe I should pray for their good and pray that God will use them and pray that God will help them instead of like hoping they make a mistake or hoping that they fail or hoping that they don't do good help you know pray that they do do good and actually don't even just pray help them be good just literally lift up their hand don't sit here and be like God will you please hold Moses's hand up just get over there and pick his arm up and hold it up that's what a good friend does and you know I'm all for praying for people but you know sometimes we need to just do stuff well I'll pray for you brother just do something now look I'm not saying don't pray I'm just saying don't be this guy that's just like I'll pray for you you know James chapter 2 it's like be warmed and filled just make him a bowl of soup or make a mistake or you know go out there and give him some nice clothes don't you know maybe there's somebody at church like I can't stand the way this guy dresses buy him a nice tie buy him a nice shirt buy him some nice shoes and just say like wear these but it's like well then I can't make fun of him anymore yeah okay well just we'll just make fun of him from the past remember when you dressed terrible okay but you know the person that genuinely likes you would help you wouldn't you and that's kind of my second point go to Proverbs 27 it's sometimes not only we need to lift up our brethren we need to offer some helpful correction so point one of being a good friend is that you're lifting them up and you genuinely care about them now here's the thing if you have showed yourself a pattern of genuinely caring about someone you're there for them you talk to them you've been a good friend unto them then I think you at some point earn this privilege and earn this right to sometimes give them criticism and that's kind of the caveat I want to give you and I think we need to make sure that we're using discretion when giving and offering criticism because I don't want our movement or any movement or Christians in general to just have this attitude of just what can I fix about you like hey I give here's 20 things that you need to fix right now and it's like we don't even hang out I've never invited them over I've never made them a meal I've never complimented them but I have offered him 20 things that he needs to fix right now you know that's not the right balance hey I've had you over I've prayed for you we've taken you meals when your wife had a baby we've loved on you but you have this thing you need to fix hey that's a moment where maybe you've kind of earned the right to give and offer some criticism and you know what a good friend will not only care about you to do good unto you but every once in a while he'll say you need to fix this you need to do you need to change something here and they're not doing it out of a they're not trying to just make fun of you just to make fun of you they're not trying to lift themselves up they're not necessarily trying to just tear you down they just genuinely care about you and want you to succeed and they're gonna say hey this is a problem in your life you need to fix this Proverbs 27 says in verse number 6 faithful are the wounds of a friend but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful you know often we might kind of just focus in on the wounds I mean like oh we're criticizing them but I like this word faithful faithful are the wounds of a friend I think that we have to think about like criticism that's being offered should be something that the person can fix and it should be with a sincerity that you actually think this person will be better off if they made this change because we could criticize people and we could tell people things that are terrible about them that they can't fix like your face is ugly I mean look unless you're a Jew gonna get a nose job I mean there's not much you can do about that okay but at the end of the day like you know we should offer criticisms to people hey you're short what are you gonna do about that you know I'm not really into making fun of people or criticizing people about things that they can't change because there really isn't much profit in that but you know we should be willing to offer criticisms and correction and reproof and rebuke to things that people can change and to their behavior you know I'm not mad at the Jew for being born a Jew I'm mad at the Jew for worshipping Satan and so you know we have a lot of hatred in our world that they hate Jews because they were born a Jew as opposed to what they worship in their religion and you know it's the wrong kind of criticism it's the wrong type of rebuke and we need to be careful that when we're offering criticism to someone that we think about is this something that could change you know what if you said like I don't like your wife you should have never married her well I never believe I believe you should never divorce so I would never offer that kind of a criticism because like how are they gonna fix they can't fix that you know that's not really a good thing to say you know you could say like hey I think your wife's struggling in this area here's something maybe you could try to fix you know but I'm just in general I'm trying not to offer criticism that someone can't necessarily fix now what's something you could fix well maybe you just dress bad you just don't dress well and your friend a good friend could say like you need to dress better or you look weird or you look awkward or you look like a dork and you know school public school used to actually help us with this because you would be made fun of if you dressed like a geek if you dressed weird if you dressed stupid and you know I'm for that personally like I don't even think that's a bad part of society I kind of hate the society of like everybody has their own truth and everybody's special and unique in their own way and everything's good and everything's tolerated no if your friend dresses like a faggot you should say you look queer like being effeminate is a sin and it's like hey stop like I would never want to hang out with someone that's dressing like a queer effeminate faggoty looking dude and you know as a church that preaches hard on that issue and we pass out the sodomite deception DVD and we have the sodomite deception t-shirt you know don't dress like a queer don't even sound like a queer don't even hold your wrist down don't sit like a woman you know like these are legitimate criticisms that are just genuinely being a good friend in some cases and just saying like hey like if you notice somebody that you've hung out with you've been around and they just have some issue instead of making fun of them or talking bad about them and their friends why don't you confront that person privately and say hey maybe you shouldn't do this because it just looks a little queer it looks kind of gay and they'll probably be so embarrassed they might just fix it and then you don't have to worry you know that's being a good friend not being like not being like have you noticed this person that's kind of acting a little weird or did this or dressed weird you know did this awkward thing you know they have a bright pink bow tie on it's like just never burn that you know and here's the thing if the person's getting genuine criticism on that several times in the area then maybe it's like what's wrong with the person you know and actually to catch infiltrators if we would actually offer loving criticism more regularly we would catch infiltrators a lot easier because you'd recognize they don't actually fix a lot of problems in fact often criticism makes them go wild and crazy and just sporadic in many cases it's the fact that people aren't criticizing them people are holding their tongue and gossiping and railing and they're not actually being a genuine friend if you'd actually love people and be a genuine friend often it fixes issues and the people that weren't gonna get fixed well you weren't gonna fix them anyways go to Galatians chapter 6 if you would but you know if you know you're out of shape a good friend might say hey do you want to go to the gym with me hey I work out on Tuesday mornings do you want to go with me you know that's being a good friend is actually helping people and actually offering them criticism you know every once in a while being like dude you're fat like let's go to the gym but you know couple that with let's go to the gym right couple that with couple that with you know like here's a cupcake you know like it's like dude you're fat I'll eat your cupcake for you you know that's being a good friend okay you know if you're kind of dumb if you're lazy you know if your friend struggles with alcohol you know being a good friend might say hey you should stop drinking and you know hopefully no one in this room is struggling with that but you know you got a co-worker you got other people in your lives you know and here's the thing point two it's easier to criticize people than it was to lift them up and I think people will hear this criticism better if you do step one first so if you actually care about somebody that's struggling in one of these areas and you want to help them fix it start with step one and get there for a while and then offer them step two because you know we read in Proverbs chapter 18 a brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city and sometimes by just showing up you have no nothing to this person's life you don't talk to them you're not hanging out with them you're never offering them anything good but then you're just like dude you're a loser you're a drunk or whatever it doesn't resonate the same then if you're loving on that person trying to be kind to that person and again obviously there's certain sins in the Bible that we're supposed to just completely avoid and not necessarily be around but at the same time it doesn't mean you can't try to love them from afar and still encourage them and try to just at least you know do what you can even from afar to help that criticism be meaningful to that individual if you genuinely want them to make a change in their life being a good friend to them and not not always necessarily even being like I told you so or of course you have this issue because a lot of times we find out about the problems in our friends' lives when something bad happens and you know the Bible says in Galatians chapter 6 verse 1 brethren of a man be overtaken in default ye which are spiritual restore such a one in the spirit of meekness considering thyself lest thou also be tempted bear ye one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ you know if this person struggles with alcohol and you don't don't necessarily be high and mighty like well I would never struggle with this you know approach the person with some meekness and just say look I struggle with things too or I've struggled in this area in the past or I have problems and I totally get it man here's what's helped me let me help you let me be accountability for you let me you know do this provide some kind of a solution to your correction and try to actually genuinely help your brother and be a good friend unto them you know and if you are somebody that someone's giving you this advice you know you should consider it go to Proverbs chapter number 9 go to Proverbs chapter 9 you know being a good friend is helping one another's burdens it's not like hey I'm going to the steakhouse who wants dinners on me who wants to show up it's like that's not being a friend that's being a freeloader okay a friend is like hey I've got all this work that I got to do and I can't do it myself who can help me who can help me move a bunch of furniture it's like what are you paying me nothing it's like well that person's helped bearing a burden or hey my car broke down can someone help give me a ride or can someone bring me a new tire or can someone take me over here you know that's what it means to be a friend is you're bearing burdens and emphasis on this word burden you know some people think that Christianity is all about me and what do I get out of it but genuine Christianity is what kind of burdens can I help with it's showing up and saying like what can I do how can I help and this is not always helpful it's just hey what can I do it's like I don't know I mean what if you had to literally think about everything that your body is doing right now would that be fun if you had to think about every heartbeat if you had to think about every breath if you had to think about every like when you move many parts of your body are just moving seamlessly you're not even thinking it's just moving it's just kind of as anticipating looking paying attention you know it's just hey the heart's probably like I probably need to beat again you know it's an involuntary response and you know what and you know what's a really good friend and what's a really good help is someone that just recognizes this just needs to be done it's really obvious so I'm just gonna do it instead of the heart being like I took a beat what do you want me to do next brain it's like beat again you know and then again right instead of just being like what do I do here how do I help it's like you know sometimes you just need to figure out how to help or come up with a solution this would help you at your job just showing up to your boss and just saying here here's all this stuff that I want to do I've noticed here's some things I want to do this can I do this and it's like yeah or just obvious things like there's trash on the ground I'm just gonna pick it up and throw it away because it's just obvious that someone needs to throw away the trash right I mean sometimes there's just obvious things that you should just be doing and you know what that's being a good friend good employee just a good person in general but at the same time we need to make sure that when something happens that when something needs to be corrected something needs to be addressed that we take that appropriately that we don't allow you know our own pride to get in the way of criticism and we live in a society that's very soft I mean you can't hardly disagree with anyone or offer any kind of criticism without a lot of feedback without a lot of consequence and so it's caused people to stop offering criticism you know amongst us we should be different we should be different we should be people that like criticism and offer criticism and take criticism well the bible says in proverbs 9 verse 8 we're proven not a scorner lest he hate thee rebuke a wise man and he will love thee and you know at the end of the day I want to have wise friends and I want to have good friends myself so if I can't even offer a mild criticism to someone without them blowing up or getting offended it's probably not the friendship I wanted anyways so you know love on someone be good to them and correct them and if they respond well to it you may have gained a brother you may have gained a friend you may have gained someone that you know you can really get a close to and have a good relationship with you know sometimes we enjoy people that build us up but sometimes we also need people to help correct us go to Matthew chapter 18 I think of King David as well in this situation he had a good friend and Nathan the prophet who had to tell him a little story he kind of loved on him he gave him a little Bible and then David got mad rightfully so and then he's like thou art the man and you know he handled it with discretion he handled it with care he thought really hard about how he was going to present this information to David but you know David didn't hate on Nathan he's like I've sinned and you know it's humbling faithful are the wounds of a friend you know when you cry faithful are the wounds of a friend you know when you correct somebody you know it's going to hurt now online people say like I'm gay or I'm a fag or all this stuff and they're just lying and it means nothing to me but you know if I was actually wearing some kind of effeminate clothing and someone was like you look gay that would hurt but at the end of the day I would be like I'm glad that person called me out so that I don't have to deal with that ever again but you know especially on something that taboo I would hope that the person would come to me privately you know what I mean I would hope that they didn't necessarily scream that from a housetop or even necessarily put that online where it can live forever you know and again that's where we have to use a little bit of discretion Matthew chapter 18 it says in verse 15 moreover if thy brethren shall trespass against thee go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone this is just genuinely always the best advice and it's actually surprising to me how almost no one ever does this like you you'd be surprised as a pastor how many people come up to me and they say so and so did this and I'm like okay well what happened when you when you went to them and you said like they did this and like why didn't talk to them yet it's like okay let's go to step one why don't you just go talk to that person it's like well this person said this about me this person did this to me this person blah blah blah blah blah and I'm like okay well what happened when you went up to them and you asked them about that why didn't do that why didn't address it with them it's like that's what you do if you have an issue you talk to the person but what happens is people don't deal with issues they don't talk to the person and they harbor bitterness because if you don't forgive someone it turns into bitterness and then that bitterness can just build and build and then it can turn into hatred it can get even worse anger and you can be frustrated over little things why? because you didn't resolve conflict and you know we should always resolve conflict early and often and going to the source often is the best way to resolve conflicts you know of course there's an escalation process here for issues and sometimes that's necessary but most issues and most problems could be resolved if individuals would just go straight to the person and try to offer hey this is the issue this is the problem and you know that's what a good friend would do a good friend isn't going around telling everybody about what somebody did that was bad hey did you hear this horrible thing that Rich did? it's like no hey I didn't like this and you're like yeah that's right I didn't please you know I don't it'd be embarrassing if other people found out about that how would I feel if then I said oh well by the way I already told everyone that's kind of frustrating isn't it? it'd be better it'd be better if it's like well I didn't know that was going to be their response I didn't know they would be embarrassed by that you know a good friend would go to them in private and be like hey dude your zipper's down pull it up as opposed to I have a public announcement you know right when someone's got something weird someone's awkward they got a problem you know sometimes you need to call it out and be like thou art the man you know and let's let's address one issue you know that constantly complain about how hard it is to get a wife you're the problem and I only say that because I genuinely care about you it's and you know genuinely like crying about it and whining about it is the is the worst thing you can do about getting married like if you want a wife never complain about it ever again and just realize you need to make the change like I think this is what single guys want is they want the world to change and make it easier to get a wife but it's like the world's not changing you have to change you know how could you change I don't know do some push-ups you know women like muscles in fact I saw this article I don't I don't remember how I just maybe it's like a social media post or something it was just like the number one most attractive part of the male body and I was like I don't know what this is number one was forearms and honestly like I kind of did some sampling discreetly and I found out it's actually pretty true okay just asking people and you know if you even pay attention to movies and things like that you know women find a guy attractive when he rolls up his sleeves a little bit you know why okay so they can see the forearms and you know why forearms are there because you can see forearms in a short sleeve shirt you can see forearms and you know what a guy that has muscular forearms is just attractive to women because it's a little bit unique second is biceps and look you don't even have to do leg day yet I mean you're just I mean you're just basically you know there's just something instinctual to a woman that she just likes that because she wants to be protected she wants to be safe she wants the guy to be strong and it's just like for every criticism you have about how terrible women are in a push up and then pretty soon you'll just be married and you'll be like wow how did that how did that happen you know or I mean let's just be honest that fixes some issues you know just work hard because if you make good money I mean it doesn't even matter how ugly you are I mean look at Jews they're married and they're some of the ugliest creatures we've ever seen inbreeding at its worst I mean if they can get you know attractive wives and attractive girlfriends then it's like I know that you guys can and you guys are already better than most of the guys out there but you know instead of complaining about it you know just put effort and energy into it you know maybe you're just weird and someone needs to just say you're just you're just kind of weird you need to work on that and maybe you're weird because you're hanging out with other weirdos there's like this compounding factor where all the single guys are just only hanging out and they're getting like weirder together they're like let's watch this really weird documentary on YouTube and then they watch another weird one and they're just then they're doing weird pretty soon they're larping in the park and it's like dude no you know the best way to get married is to hang out with girls not dudes and here's another tip don't get dating advice from single guys and look all the married guys are like amen because when they hear they hear single guys opening their mouth and talking it's like a flat earth or explaining the shape of the earth I'm just thinking like you have no idea what you're saying right now like you talk to people that are successful okay but of course you know I'm not saying you single guys but maybe you should branch out a little bit and this is what I've noticed single guys that make friends with married men end up getting married usually and they become a little bit more you know why because they become more mature they're more focused on the things that actually matter they're listening to someone that's already been there and done that whereas you kind of you kind of hanging out with other people it's like you know other single guys it kind of goes downhill you know if you're just too weak you know maybe you need to be called out maybe you're just too poor and look there's nothing wrong with being poor it doesn't make you a bad person but maybe you're just poor because you're lazy like in America even in Kamala Harris America you know you could still have a lot of good things a lot of nice things we're not a hundred percent communists yet and so you know a lot of times the reason why people don't have is just because they're not working they're not working hard and sometimes you need a friend to just be like dude quit playing video games and go work you know like hey do you want to do this I don't have time go to work get a job learn something do something you know sometimes we just need or you know maybe it's like hey dude stop working at McDonald's like you know invest in your future a little bit and you know that might hurt a little bit but it's like dude you know if your friend has bad habits you know telling them if he's annoying please please for my sake tell them they're annoying so I don't have to tell all of you that you're annoying okay it will just help me as a pastor when you still help correct all of your other friends like dude you're just being annoyed stop it right I mean you know what's gonna make us a better group of people if we're just willing to be good friends and offering genuine and sincere and you know that criticism actually is meaningful when you hung out and you had fellowship and you worked together and you did things together and you ate meals together and you actually love one another and then you're just like dude quit being weird good dude quit being annoying quit saying that quit talking about that we get it the Jews are bad okay is there any other topic we can talk about we get it there's a lot of feminism can we talk about can we talk about anything else it's like you're just weird and look this is just anybody I mean maybe it's just like dude I'm sick of hearing about football let's talk about something you know what old IAB needs they need some people to get in there like let's talk about the Bible it's like it's so frustrating when you go to some of these churches and it's like they're not interested in the Bible they're not interested but you need to go soul winning we need to think about the Bible we need to think about the things of God and things of Christ I like that or hey I don't want to talk about that subject you know sometimes guys you know locker room talk I mean what Donald Trump said maybe we don't want to go down that road and talk about all those things maybe we need to be a little bit more spirit minded and thinking about the right things and you know we're just helping each other give criticisms you know maybe your friends is a little immature it's like stop wearing the Pokemon Go shirt you know it's like it's over you've already caught them all okay and even if you didn't you know it's like when I became a man I put away childish things and you know when you get married she does it for you okay when I got married I lost everything but a box okay and then pretty soon but you know in hindsight my wife's a good friend and she helped me to be a better person and to realize that all of the trash that I collected up to that point in my life was trash and she helped me get nice plates nice cups and nice bowls and you know better things that I could actually enjoy nice furniture I didn't know what that was I had a futon from Walmart that was broken that was our that was our chair and it's like that wasn't very comfortable you know having a you know a normal couch you know a wife can make a house a home and you know the reality is we're talking about brethren companionship but you know your wife can also be a good friend and you know you need to be a good friend to your wife by what lifting her up I think in the new IFB we sometimes have a tendency to almost overcompensate for all the feminism out there and thinking like we're in charge we don't think about how we should lift up our wives too and we're all we're all about step two hey you need to make better sandwiches don't burn the cookies you need to be happy when I show up hey the kids aren't acting right hey you need to it's just like basically we're just walking around just telling them everything they need to fix and everything they need to do but it's like wait a minute did you do step one with your wife did you lift up your wife are you loving and making it clear to her that she's important I mean when it comes to your children's future she's gonna most likely have a bigger role in their outcome than you are because she spends more time with them she's teaching them more and you know what her job is important her role is important and we need to lift up our wives and praise them for the things that are necessary and help them realize that their opinions are still important you know your wife in many cases is what's gonna help you stop looking weird and dressing weird and acting weird and being annoying like all of these problems that you have she'll probably make you better but you know if you just suppress your wife and tell her she's wrong and bad well maybe she'll stop offering you any good criticisms too and so it's important to say you know what I want to have a healthy relationship where we and my wife are both friends and we both genuinely love each other and we can both correct each other and we're both giving ourselves the opportunity to be a good person and being really good friends so if you would to Psalm 119 we'll just read the entire chapter real quick Psalm 119 I want to look at verse 71 it's kind of right there in the middle you know if someone offers you a criticism you should really just take it as a blessing because most of the time you're not gonna believe that you're gonna believe that you're gonna believe that you're gonna believe that because most of the time people only even offer criticisms when they like you it's actually a sign of friendship in many cases now again I'm not saying like they're attacking you attacks aren't from friendship genuine sincere corrections and and criticism that you can actually improve on that's someone that's actually your friend and so you you know sometimes we just need some correction you just need to be provoked to do something better and you know you should you should take church that way that you should hope that you go to church and get some criticisms and the best pastors are the ones that are gonna be your friend and they're gonna correct you sometimes and they're gonna say things that in fact church makes you normal when I meet people that don't go to church that are Christian they're weird these online churches and these online Christian movements are filled with the weirdest people I've ever met they're so much weirder than even just like the unsaved because it's just like they're and they're just like I'm this Torah observing Sabbath person you know and you're just like what is wrong with you and they don't have any friends if you actually knew this person these people online you know why they're online going to an online church because they have no friends you know why they don't want to be challenged on their ideas they're just like well I think they're just flat and you know what's interesting about these flat earthers is they all have their own unique flat earth there's not even a consensus between them one's on a turtle's back one's on pillars one's you know just in a glass come hear me roar you know as a flat hard but that's what will happen when you push away criticism and you push away good friends when someone offers you criticism say hey this person might want to be my friend I should embrace that and you know what I should be a good friend to other people and also offer a good friend church makes you normal well I don't go to church very much well you're not very normal the more you interact and the more you go to church and the more you get plugged in the more normal you are the more nice those people are you'll notice the people that are plugged in going soul winning supporting they've got some issues get plugged in and start being a good friend here's the last point I want to make go to John chapter 13 is we need to love our brother so point one is this we need to lift up our brother number two we need to correct our brother and lastly we need to love our brother now if I was pastor of Menes I would have figured out a way to turn correct but you know what you need to lift up your brother you need to correct your brother and you need to love your brother because this is the way to be a good friend and in John chapter 13 this is kind of a challenge to me especially as a pastor is I don't want necessarily our church to only be known for soul winning or only be known that we hate fags or only be known for the documentaries that we make you know one of the reasons I want to be known is the fact that our church is genuinely has a group of people that love each other and that's what the Bible says in John chapter 13 verse 35 by this shall all men know that you're my disciples if we have loved one to another our church by noticing how much the members love each other and how that how well they get along that's where the spirit of Christ really is and that's where the real disciples are you know being a disciples it's saved say salvation is free salvation is you didn't do anything it's just like the free birth discipleship is the ones that actually care about the people that are really actually doing the Bible that group is going to be a loving group so when you go to a church you say they're not very friendly they're a bunch of clicks there's a bunch of gossip there's a bunch of hatred there's a bunch of envy that's a bunch of people that are not disciples of Jesus Christ and if we were really to evaluate our church what we'd want to see one of the most important factors would just be how well people are going soul winning like you might think like what about the soul winning and what about these metrics and what about these statistics well here's the thing all of that is definitely on track if that group really loves each other and you'll notice the churches that are not so winning they're filled with gossip and sin and fornication and envy and strife and all these other issues why because the ultimate goal is just love and when people are going soul winning and you have that right mentality and you're filled with people that care about others you can feel it you can experience it you know that's what I love about steadfast Baptist Church that's what I love about pure words Baptist Church that's what I love about going to OKC is how friendly people really seem but I think that we can all still improve and I think we should all still strive to improve you know that's what I love about visiting any new IV church is when they show up it just it seems like you're hanging out and actually it just there's just a different feeling and that you know what that is it's the spirit of Christ it's that discipleship it's that true love because you know people might hate our churches from afar but one thing they can't deny is that it's filled with a lot of loving people and it's usually coming from people that have never visited because when you visit these churches whether you love or hate the pastor you have to say like man but there's a lot of great people there there's a lot of people that will help you when you're hurting there's a lot of people that will pray for you when you're sick there's a lot of people there that will help you go soul winning there's a lot of people there that will help teach things in the Bible there's people out there that will buy you lunch there's people out there that will just you know show up at your house when you need something there's people there that you can just genuinely say I'm struggling in this area and they'll actually listen to you and actually give you biblical advice there's people there that will go do all kinds of events and they'll go to conferences and they'll buy you stuff. I mean, and this is what our church should look like, it's what it should feel like. And you know, it would be a shame if we went to a conference like this and we left and people were mad at each other, upset with each other. They caused fights, they caused conflict. You know, we should leave closer friends when we leave as opposed to getting further apart. And that would be a tell of the success of a conference like this is that we became closer, not driven further apart. But it only comes if we can be good friends, if we can love one another. Go over to Proverbs 17. You know, the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13, about charity or sincere love is that it believeth all things. Instead of looking at someone that comes to the church or is new to the church and saying, I don't think this person's gonna last. I don't think this person's very spiritual. I don't know about this person. Why don't you go up to that person and help them last, help them be spiritual and be a good friend of them and do something to help them be the best version of themselves. Because let's be honest, not everybody is gonna be a great disciple. Not everybody is gonna go to church three times a week. Not everybody is gonna be a faithful soul winner. Not everybody is gonna be a great husband or be a great father. But you know what? What you maybe could do is you could just help them just a little bit, just be a little bit better father. Or to go soul winning just maybe one more time than they would have without you. Or just maybe go to church one more time than they would have. Or maybe just last in church a little longer than they would. Because at the end of the day, you can't really affect anybody in a sense of just making them do stuff. You can only influence them a little bit. But why can't we just take the opportunities we have and say, I just wanna help this person be a little bit better than they are right now and be the best version of themselves. They may not be the smartest, they may not be the brightest, they may not be the greatest used of God. But you know what? I just wanna come alongside them and I just wanna make them just a little better. Here's one area that would be great is if we just help all of ourselves be better soul winners. And instead of thinking like that, that person, I don't really like what they did in their soul winning presentation and then telling other people about it. Why don't you tell them? Hey, I think you could say this a little bit differently. Hey, I think you could do this a little bit better. And especially when it comes to new people. A lot of people are very experienced soul winners. But you know what? When you take new people, give them an opportunity at the door. Give them an opportunity to talk. Help give them a little bit of a tip. Help give them some advice. Help them be less awkward at the door. Because some people are just awkward at the door. And instead of just being like that one person, I'm gonna be like, hey, you seemed a little awkward there. Maybe you should just say something simple like, hi, we're from Verity Baptist Church. You know, that's nice. Instead of just being like, hey, or you know what, or like, who's in there? You know? Or like, I don't know, people just do weird things. You know what I'm talking about, okay? People say weird things, do weird things, they act weird. Or maybe they're just like, they're walking up to the door. Yeah, I think all fags should be shot in the head and I hate Jews. Hey, we're from, they're like, who's there? We're from a Baptist church. And they're like, not interested. You know? It's like, maybe you're like, hey bro, I love this conversation. Let's wait, you know, till we're at the sidewalk or something, you know? Like when we get closer to the door, maybe let's not scream about how we hate fags so much or whatever. Or be like, man, my favorite part of Dylan's sermon is you're like, let's line them up against the wall and put a bullet in the back of their head. You know? It's like, you know, look, hey, I love that scene of that sermon, okay? I put it in my movie, The Preserved Bible, folks, okay? But you know, at the end of the day, I don't necessarily wanna scream that right at the door because somebody might hear it. And you know, if I make a mistake, if I do something weird and someone's like, hey, I think they might have heard you, it'd be like, oh, sorry, I probably shouldn't say that. Right, I mean, let's just help each other be better and let's just love on one another. And instead of just thinking this person's weird or bad, let's just believe all things and think that this person's sincere, let's help them. And not try to catch all the reprobates and all the infiltrators and just be worried about every person like, I just think this person's not gonna last. Well, you know, help them stay as long as they can. Help them, you know, if they believe, if they say something weird instead of telling everybody else like, they think that, you know, the moon isn't even real. It's like, just tell them they're an idiot and the moon's real, you know, just help that person with that stupid belief that they have. Proverbs chapter 17, verse 17, should be a pretty easy one to remember. A friend loveth at all times and the brother is born for adversity. You know, a friend is going to love you all the time, he's not gonna be selfish, he's not thinking about himself. You know, we see this really pictured with Jonathan and David. Jonathan just constantly loved David, only did good unto him. And you know, it'd be nice if we could just have a church and we could have people where you say, you know what, I know this person's just gonna only do good to me. And even if I do something stupid, even if I make a mistake, even if this person does something I disagree with, I can still love him. Psalm 133 is the last place I want you to go. I mean, wouldn't it have been nice if some of our, quote, pastor friends had been like that? Like, you know what the last thing we need is? Less fundamental Baptists in this world. And less fundamental Baptist church. And wouldn't it be nice if the old IFB could even be our friends? I mean, think about this. From the old IFB's perspective, we're wrong on a few issues, right? If you were to put yourself in their mindset, I'm sure a lot of them sincerely think that we're wrong on a few issues. But why wouldn't they come alongside of us and do step one, which is what? Lifting other people's heads. Hey, I really like how you're reaching new people. Hey, I really appreciate that this visitor came and visited our church, that you got saved from your online documentary. Hey, I'm really appreciative that this person came to our church to get baptized, and you're helping them get baptized. But we think that you're wrong on this particular issue. Let us explain to you how Israel is still God's chosen people. But you know why they don't wanna do that? Well, number one, they're wrong. But number two is because they're just not being a good friend. And they're not a disciple. Because the disciple is gonna be a good friend. And you know what? I have actual friends that are Zionists. I have actual friends that think that God's chosen people are Israel. You know who that person is? Dr. Bill Stringer. And he's gonna come preach for us. And you know what? I love Dr. Stringer. And he can like me. And you know what? He's a good friend to me, even if we disagree on these issues. And why can't the old IFB and the new IFB be friends and just disagree on stuff? Look, you can be wrong all day long, and I'll still like you. Why can't you like us? Why can't you be a good friend? You know what? Friends can disagree. Friends can be wrong. And we need to stop having this mindset like this person's not like us. Well, what did Jesus say? If he's not against us, then he's for us. You know what? We should be more pro the Christians that aren't attacking us, and not be what they're like, and just being like, we can't be your friend because you're a little different, or you do things wrong, or you have some bad issues. You know, why don't we just lift them up and say, hey, I appreciate that you guys are standing and being conservative church, and still speaking to him, still using the King James, and you still preach the right gospel, and I really appreciate that. Get rid of the Zionism, bro. You know, I don't hate you. I love you. I just want you to stop being weird. I want you to stop waving the Israel flag in your church. You know? And I don't hate those people. I love those people. I wish those churches were better. You know, I don't wanna like take all their sheep. They're like, you're a sheep dealer. Hey, I want you to have them. Just quit teaching them lies. Be better. Be the best version of the old IV that you can be, right? And you know what'll make our nation better is if we could have more people that are rallied around the love of Christ, and the love of each other, and just being good friends. Our country is failing because people aren't good friends anymore, and people aren't even trying to be a good friend, and we need to set the example of what being a good friend looks like. Not only in here, but even out there, that we need to show what it's like to be a friend, where we lift up our brother, where we correct our brother, and where we love our brother. And even if he's wrong about things, well, we still like him anyways, and we wish him good anyways. Hey, and you know, if you get an opportunity to preach, and you're gonna bring up some of these issues, here's the question I want you to ask yourself this first. Have I done step one for this person? You know, again, if it's a false prophet, I don't, go after them. You know, preach hard and rip on them. But you know, when it's somebody that's saved or doing the work of God, do you, are you wishing any good to them? Have you been a good friend towards them? Are you trying to help them? You know, there's not really a point to just attack people, just to attack people. Are you offering even criticism that they can change? And you know, we need to really think about other people. You know, in the men's preaching class, I love a lot of these sermons, but you know, I don't really love just attacking brethren, when it doesn't seem like you actually love them. You know, a loving criticism is an important place. But you know, we need to make sure that we're, you know, attacking the right people and we're offering loving criticism to the right people. And that we're being good friends. Because you know, I want to have friends. A man that has friends must show himself friendly. I don't want to be a cult. I want to have as many friends as we can. I don't want the New York Beat to just be a one church show. I want it to be as many friends as we can have. And to keep, you know, I wish we could have this mentality of like, even if we disagree on things, we're still friends. Because some people like, they even like try to be like, you know, Pastor Anderson and Pastor Vince disagree on this one little tiny thing that nobody cares about. It's like, no, because I didn't care about it. They can still be friends. And I can still be friends with them. Yeah, they're wrong, but I'm still their friend. Obviously, okay. Psalm 133, look at verse one. Behold how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity. You know what? Our movement should be a unifying movement. Not because we agree on everything. Not because we like everything about one another. You know why? Because we love one another. Because we love one another. Because we're lifting each other up. And we're saying, you know, if another church succeeds, we're not like, oh, I wish that was me. We're like, we're excited for that church. We're excited for that pastor. We're excited for that church. Hey, that church did a great work soul-willing. We're excited for them. We're gonna encourage them. And we're gonna be a good friend unto them. And it doesn't matter if they're even in our circle of friends, if there's some other church and they do a great work for God, well, praise God. You know, let us be an example of people that just genuinely love others and that we want to be a good friend. And you know, offer a criticism when you've loved the person first. Be careful how we use our tongues because we often just curse men and we bless God. But you know what really blesses God? When we bless other people. You know, the first commandment is love the Lord thy God, but the second commandment is love thy neighbor thyself. And we really, I think, and it knew I'd be emphasized point one, we love God. But you know, really loving God looks like loving your neighbor. And you can really tell the churches that love God when they love each other. I've been in church services and I've been to churches, even the new IP and in times when there was not a lot of love in the room. And it's disappointing because you know, they're carnal, they're prideful, they're sin issues. And you know, there's not a lot of disciples in that room. And you really should, we should check ourselves and say, you know, am I being a good friend to others? And you know, think about other people. When you prepare a sermon Saturday, think about other people for that sermon. When you're hanging out with people this week, think about other people. And think about, you know, your brethren, when we go out of this camp, think about when you go back to church, who can I be a brother to? Who could I help? When you go home and you've had a vacation and fun and your wife's been with all these screaming kids, you know, maybe don't talk all about you. Talk about her and lift her up and help her instead of just coming home. Well, Alice is a wreck. What have you been doing the last few days? How about you like give her a back massage and take care of the baby and change the diaper and clean some stuff up and make dinner and then say, hey, it was a little messy over here. Or just don't even say it because it doesn't matter. Instead of saying it, just fix it. And be like, hey, I'm gonna lift up that hand. Just gonna lift it up and I'm just gonna help. And you know what, that's gonna make my life a little smoother because I'm just gonna be a good friend to my wife. Don't just be a husband, be a friend. And you know what, don't just be, I know that guy at church, be a friend. And don't just be like, that's my pastor, be a friend. And don't just be a coworker, be a friend. And don't just be a friend, be a good friend. Let's go to prayer. Thank you Heavenly Father so much for all these men in this room and thank you so much for the friendship that Jesus Christ showed unto us. We didn't deserve his goodness, we didn't deserve his kindness. We didn't deserve him to lay down his life and to ultimately show us the ultimate humility of the cross, but I pray that that could help motivate us to lift other people up and to follow and like example and to just genuinely love other people. I pray that you could help just unify our hearts towards the saved and towards the brethren and that we would do a better job with our tongues and with our hearts and with our minds to just look at other people and love them and care for them. And when we offer criticisms that we'd be careful and use discretion and we'd do it in a loving manner, we wouldn't be afraid to criticize but we would do it when it's necessary and that we would just love other people at all times, even in their faults and in their weaknesses and in Jesus' name we pray, amen. Thank you. All right, so the last one, we're gonna do 449, dwelling in a beautiful land. So, 449, dwelling in a beautiful land. All the birds. All the way the voice of Christ upon my ear is calling. Then I know the sins of earth be set on every hand. Doubt and fear and things of earth in vain to me are calling. None of these shall move me from you, the land. I'm living on the mountain underneath the cloudless sky. Praise God! I'm drinking at the fountain that never shall run dry. Oh yes, I'm feasting on the meadow from a mountain full supply for I am dwelling in you, the land. Far below the storm of doubt upon the world is beating. Sons of men in battle on the enemy whiskers. Safe am I within the castle of God's word retreating. Nothing then can reach me this beautiful land. I'm living on the mountain underneath the cloudless sky. Praise God! I'm drinking at the fountain that never shall run dry. Oh yes, I'm feasting on the meadow from a mountain full supply for I am dwelling in you, the land. Let the stormy breezes blow their frightened eye alarm me. I am safely sheltered here, protected by God's hand. Here the sun is always shining, here there's not can harm be. I am safe forever in you, the land. I'm living on the mountain underneath the cloudless sky. Praise God! I'm drinking at the fountain that never shall run dry. Oh yes, I'm feasting on the meadow from a mountain full supply for I am dwelling in you, the land. Viewing here the words of God I see in contemplation. Hearing now his blessed voice I see the way he planned. Dwelling in the spirit here I learn of full salvation. Laughing will I tarry in you, the land. I'm living on the mountain underneath the cloudless sky. Praise God! I'm drinking at the fountain that never shall run dry. Oh yes, I'm feasting on the meadow from a mountain full supply for I am dwelling in you, the land. I love the singing of this event.