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at Galatians chapter 6 and we're returning back to the Perfect Man series. We took a bit of a break I think about two or three weeks from the Perfect Man series and we're back on it now. Now what I want you to look at is verse number two there. Galatians chapter six verse number two, bear ye one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. So what do we learn there? When other people are having some hardships, some difficulties, going through some struggles, they went to come alongside them and bear one another's burdens. Okay, we can preach on that. Let's look at verse number five. It says, for every man shall bear his own burden. What? Pastor Kevin is this a contradiction in scripture? Every man shall bear his own burden. And so the title for the sermon this morning Brethren is, when help is not helpful. When help is not helpful. In fact, I've been speaking to a few people over the last few weeks and I've been mentioning that this is something that I'm preparing. There are different situations that have popped up around even personal issues in life even amongst Brethren in the church when we've realized that when sometimes someone offers help, they've not helped at all. In fact, maybe they've made the situation much worse. And I want us to be mindful about this. Yes, it's a time to come alongside others and carry their burdens but at the same time every man needs to still bear their own burden. Both of these things are true. It's not a contradiction in scripture. Now, let me just give you something as an example just because it's recent, right? So we've recently moved back to Queensland and we know that a lot of our, my furniture, my family's furniture was here in the church building. Now I got a lot of help. Thank you for those that came out and helped. Okay, a lot of hands made the work a lot easier. You know, there was some cleaning being done by some ladies as well in the new house. I appreciate that help. All right, for you, so in verse number two, bear ye one another's burdens and self-fulfill the Lord of Christ. You know, when several of you came alongside us and helped us with the move, you have fulfilled the Lord of Christ right there. You know, you've bared this pastor's burdens. But then it says in verse number five, for every man shall bear his own burden. And how can we relate to this? Well, for example, let's say you guys came for those couple of days and helped me out. Praise God for that. And then you say, well, Pastor Kevin, you've also got a big backyard, you know. I'll come around every third day of the week. I'll come down. I'll come every week and mow your grass. Well, I mean, I guess you're helping me with my burden. You know, Pastor Kevin, I'll also come. Maybe another family turns out, you know, you've got to do groceries. You've got, you know, 13 in your family. I'll come and just give you groceries. I'll go grocery shopping for you. Pray. Well, okay, there's another burden that's been lifted off my shoulders. Pastor Kevin, do you need someone to babysit the kids? You know, Christina's got a lot to do. I'll come over every single day and help with it. Okay, I'll get you lifting the burden right there. Pastor Kevin, you got to write sermons, three or four sermons a week. I'll come along. I'll start writing your sermons. Well, I guess you're lifting some other burden there. Pastor Kevin, I'll come and preach for you. In fact, I'll take, you know, what happens? In fact, now I'm carrying no burdens, am I? I'm carrying no burdens. In fact, all that help is making me what? Lazy and idle. Lazy and idle. And I'm not growing. I'm not benefiting from the struggle, the challenge that is being presented before me, because many times God will give us a tribulation. God will give us something, some type of burden in our lives to help us mature, to help us grow, so we can gain experience. But if we come alongside them and take away that burden from them, it's no longer benefiting them. Sometimes you come alongside and you cause more problems. I mean, yes, we have 11 children, but what if someone came every single day helping my wife? Oh, look, you've got so many kids. You're homeschooling your kids. I'll babysit every single day for you. What's that going to do? That's going to cause a situation where my wife can't even handle all the kids. In fact, I've seen this in the workplace. I've seen, because I worked, I told you guys, I had a call centre under my authority at one point, and some of the ladies, yeah, they'd come to work. They enjoyed working. And then when it came to school holidays, what are they saying? When the kids are at home instead of at school. Oh, I can't wait for the kids to go back to school. I can't wait for them to be out of my hair. I mean, I heard this several times from several different people. Why? Because they're so used to, you know, school, you think school is a place of education, but really school becomes a place to dump your kids because they don't want to bear that burden. And then when they do have to bear that burden, it's only a couple of weeks during school holiday and they can't handle it. It's too hard. Maybe they've got 11 kids, now they've got one or two kids and they can't handle it too much. Why? Because they're so used to some organisation, some of the person carrying their burdens, they can't even carry their own burdens for a couple of weeks. And so it's not helpful. It doesn't help that person grow. It doesn't help that person mature. And so let's have a look at the context of these verses. Yeah, they seemingly look contradictive, but let's understand the context. When it says, bear ye one another's burdens and so fulfil the Lord of Christ, don't take this verse alone and think every time someone has a burden, I've got to come alongside and help them. No, let's look at verse number one. Brethren, if a man is be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, in other words, not everybody, okay, those that are spiritual, obviously those that are walking with the Lord, those that have grown and matured in Christ, ye which are spiritual, look, restore such and one in the spirit of meekness, considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. You see, when someone is downcast, someone is down, right, spiritually down or some massive burden upon them, you got to be careful. Are you the right person to come alongside and help them with their burden? That's the first question. Am I the right person to offer them help? Okay, verse number two is not like everybody, just help everybody. No, verse number one gives the context. Are you the right person to help this person with their burden? Then it leads to bear ye one another's burdens and so fulfil the law of Christ. But are you the right person to help, all right? And then it says in verse number three, for if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself. In fact, you trying to help somebody with a difficulty may cause you to end up with troubles. In fact, this happens a lot of times. When someone tries to come alongside to help with a burden, what happens? They sometimes end up carrying that burden upon their own shoulders, okay? It causes them stress. It causes them worries, but it was never about them. It was never their issue in the first place. They took it off someone else's shoulders and put it upon themselves and they're carrying that problem. It causes them to be downcast. It causes them to be carrying that burden, that heavy load, and it doesn't help them. They thought they were somebody, but it's actually caused problems because you're taking on problems that are not even yours to carry. Look at verse number four. So verse number five says, sorry, let's go to verse five, for every man shall bear his own burden. So in context of what? Well, verse number four, but let every man prove his own work and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone and not in another. For every man shall bear his own burden. So the Bible is saying there's an advantage to bearing your own burden, meaning that if you sort out your problems, if you're able to work through that burden and you learn to carry it, that you prove your own work. You've tested yourself. You've proved that you're able to handle a situation. You've grown. You've matured. You've learned some great things and then he shall have rejoicing in himself. You feel good about it, don't you? You know, I've had brother Caleb come and, you know, he's working on a door, on our property, or two doors actually. You know, at first he goes, look, I want to help. Praise God. You know, he's carrying a burden right there. But then it's like, I don't know if I can do this. And then he's actually done a great job so far. And even brother Caleb said, I'm surprised even myself. What's he saying? I can rejoice in myself. Well, I've actually done this. I've actually proved myself to be capable of doing this job. You know, I've even surprised myself. You know, there's a good feeling when you have burdens and you learn to carry it and you achieve and you're successful and you do well, there is rejoicing in yourself. You've learned something about yourself. You've proven yourself. And then it says, and not in another. So it's not like somebody else just came and helped me along, but I did it myself. You see, when you carry someone else's burdens, you rob that person from that rejoicing. You rob that person from that, what's that word I'm looking for? The satisfaction, the contentment of having done something myself. You know, sometimes, and, you know, again, you know, I use examples in my life, not because I'm trying to boast. You know, it's just what I know. It's things that I see in the Bible and I see how it applies to my life or to my family's life. And you know, one of the things about living down in Sydney before we even started this church, and I think we already had nine kids before we started this church from memory. Yeah, we had nine kids too. We were born here in Queensland. People would say, oh, the reason you guys can have nine kids is because your mother-in-law's there and your mother's there and they come over sometimes and they help out. And it's like completely, to me, disregarding my wife's ability to manage those kids. Oh, you just got, you got this, you got this. Well, one of the great things about coming to Queensland, we didn't have the help anymore, proving that actually my wife was capable of managing those children. It is her family. She wants to carry the burden. She's not complaining about the kids. It's a blessing. It's a blessing for her, right? But people in society today, they think of kids as this horrible issue, this burden. You got to get rid of your kids, dump them in school, dump them in child care, get rid of them because they're being a big burden upon your life. You know, and this is, you know, no, there's rejoicing yourself when you're able to look at a situation and say, can I do this? You know, sometimes God gives you burdens. God gives you trials. He gives you difficulties. And the first thought is, how do I get away from this? How do I run away from this burden? How do I dump this burden upon someone else? Hey, maybe my pastor can carry this burden. Maybe, I mean, you know, I'll find this other family. Maybe I can dump, carry this burden for me. That's the first thought. But Brevin, that's the wrong thought in life. The right thought is when you come to a trial, when you come to a burden, a situation that is heavy, you should be excited and say, how can God use this situation? I wonder what God is going to do with this current struggle that I'm going through. How is God going to use me? How is God going to mature me? How is God going to help me grow and gain the experiences that I need to get through this trial, to get through this burden? That's the right attitude. But we live in a generation. They run away from their problems. They run away from the trials. They run away from the tribulations. Or they want to blame other people. They stop blaming other people. It's your burden to carry. If God has given you a burden, praise God. It's a challenge. Okay? You're going to learn something about yourself if you do it the right way. Okay? And so, when help is not helpful, you know, sometimes you can come alongside people and help them. And actually, you mean well. You just want the best, but you're actually causing harm. And so, I hope this sermon helps you identify when you should or you shouldn't help. Alright. Now, I'm going to quickly read to you from Romans 12-15. It says, rejoice with them that do rejoice and weep with them that weep. The same idea of coming alongside somebody. Hey, when someone's doing well, they've been successful, they've done a great job, you know, in church, come alongside that person and rejoice with them. Well done. Praise God. Praise God for his blessings upon your life. Sometimes Christians get envious. Oh man, how come he gets it good? You know, I wish I had. No, that's the wrong attitude. The right attitude. Come alongside and rejoice. But then sometimes people are weeping. Sometimes they're going through hardship. You know, what's the right approach? Well come alongside and weep with them as well. The thought here is the same idea of being and coming along, especially when it comes to weeping, right? If you're able to come alongside and show them your love, show them your concern, you know, that you're weeping with them as well, that it's an issue and a burden for you as well, as you see them going through the same difficulty, you're going to help them. You're going to help them carry their load to some extent. Alright. But you know, are we always weeping though? Like, you know, we might have a situation where a brother comes to church and they're in a hardship. They're weeping about it. We come alongside, you know, we'll support your brother, praying for your eyes. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help you, for example. Okay. And you know, that might happen one week, that might happen the second week. But is that the reality of someone's life every single day, every single week? You know, do we just constantly have to just weep with someone that's always weeping? No. You know, is the reality that someone's always just rejoicing? It's just always, everything just works dead in life. No, that's not even life. Life is failure. Life is risks. Life has problems. No one has this perfect life. And you're just constantly rejoicing with someone forever. You know, that's not the reality. What I'm trying to say is when it comes to this idea of rejoicing, rejoicing with those that are rejoicing, weeping with those that are weeping, it's obviously a period of time. You know, these things come and they go and situations develop. It's not just this constant thing that happens in someone's life where you're just constantly weeping or you're just constantly rejoicing. Alright. There's a period of time. And when you think about helping someone, this is the first thought I want to give you. Is this help something that's going to assist somebody for a period of time or is this ongoing help? Okay. And let me tell you something. If it's just ongoing help, stop helping. I'll tell you that and I'll explain to you in a minute why. Okay. If it's just ongoing help constantly, every day, every week, every month, you got to learn, you got to stop helping because you're not actually helping. Okay. Now, when there's a one-off scenario, a situation, a period of time, yes, go ahead and help. Alright. It might be a one-off situation. It might be a rare situation. Right. It might just be something completely unexpected. That's the time to help somebody. Okay. But when it's something that is ongoing, you know, day after day, week after week, that's when you stop helping. Okay. Because you could cause damage. You're not actually helping. You're actually causing the situation to be worse. And I'll explain that as I keep going. Alright. Now, let me give you a few thoughts. Please turn to 1 Peter chapter 5. Turn to 1 Peter chapter 5. 1 Peter chapter 5 verse number 6. Now, brethren, let me encourage you. This is like Christianity 101. Alright. When you have a problem, when you have a burden, when you have a trial, alright. Let's say today, I don't have that burden and tomorrow, all of a sudden, unexpected, something happens. I find out situation X, Y and Z. I find out I've got a sickness. I find out I've got some issue with my body. I find out I've got a financial problem. My van breaks down. Whatever. You know, something just happens, right? I just found out this person hates me. Why? You know, this conflict just developed today. I have no idea why. You know, when something like that happens, what is your first reaction? What's the first thing that you do? Now, obviously, you know, if I suppose, and I understand this, if my kids are out playing in the backyard and one falls and breaks their arms, breaks their arm, probably the first thought is take them to hospital. And I understand that, okay. But there is one thing we have to do first, you know, before we get to the hospital, or on the way to the hospital, okay. What's that first thing? Notice 1 Peter chapter 5 verse number 6. It says, humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon him, for he careth for you. Brethren, the first thing, when you're in a trial, when you've got a burden, something unexpected happens. The first thing you do is call out to God. Say, God, this has happened. Why? You know, this is the situation. Lord, I need your help. Lord, this is a burden that I need your assistance. And Lord, I'm going to cast my cares upon you because he careth for you, right. He careth for you. Look, casting all your care. Well, maybe I'll cast 80% of my care to God and I'll take 20% to my parents. I'll take 10% to my friends. Or maybe I'll take 10% of it to God and 90% of it to my girlfriends as I go and see them. Because I just need to get this off my chest. I just need to talk about my situation to somebody. Yeah, you do need to talk about your situation to somebody. You take it to God, for he careth for you. Brethren, I don't care how good of a friend you've got. They're going to care about their own issues before they care about yours. Okay, they've got their own issues. They've got their own problems. They've got their own struggles. If they had to prioritise their important issues or your important issues, their issues are going to come first. Why? Because it's their burden. Every man has to carry their own burden. But you see, our Lord God is someone that will help us 100% of the time. He says, look, bring all your cares to me for he careth for you. You know, he loves you so much. You know, he gave his son to die for you on the cross, you know, to take on your sin. Not only that, not only was he interested in saving you, he wants you to bring all your cares to the Lord God. You know, he wants to do a mighty work in your life. The first person that we go to, okay, your kid breaks an arm. All right, I understand, get in the car quickly, get to the hospital. But at least on the way to hospital, go to the Lord, say, Lord, please help us. You know, Lord, my son's been injured. Lord, please, you know, help us find the best doctor, help us find the best nurse. Please make our way easy as we deal with this current situation. We go to God first. He care for you. God cares about you. Of course, he's going to, you know, like, I think of my kids, if they've got a burden, they've got a difficulty. I'm their father. Of course, I'm going to try to give everything I possibly can to help them. But here's the thing, God will, you know, and here's the thing, I can still fail as a father, because I'm just a man, right? Even my help can't necessarily be perfect, but God's help is always perfect. Here's the person that you go to when you've got a burden. Here's the first person that you call when you need help. All right, because that idea, I just need to offload, I just need to get this off my chest. Yeah, do it. It's right. That feeling's not wrong, but you do it to God. Okay, you don't just dump all your problems to another human being, because as I said, when that person might love you, care for you, and mean well, but now all of a sudden they're carrying all this burden, and you've dumped it all on them, and they're sorrowing. I've seen this so many times. I've seen where people come alongside, and they want to help, and all of a sudden they're stressed, they're worried, you know, this person, this person, this person, this person. What about your issues? Can't you let that person carry their problems, right? I mean, or look, okay, they just need help. They need help. Yeah, tell them to go to God. Tell them to praise the Lord God. I mean, what greater help is there in this universe than God himself? You know, sometimes the first issue when help is not helpful is that you put yourself in the place of God. Oh, you've got issues. You've got stress. You've got concerns. Bring it to me. Come over. Have a cup of coffee with me. Have a cup of tea with me. Let's talk about your problems. Wrong. You know, why? Someone's got a problem. What do you want me to pray about? I'm going to go on my knees right now and pray about your situation. Please take it to God. Here's the one that can help you. That's the right answer. That's the right answer, and look, maybe God will use you to be a support to them, but don't forget, you're not carrying their burdens. You're just helping them with their burdens. At the end of the day, they've got to be the ones that carry their own burdens, and there are different burdens in life. They come in all shapes and sizes, but don't forget, when you're facing with a burden, don't forget who gave it to you. It's the Lord God, okay? You say, well, it's from the devil. Maybe it's from the devil, but who allowed the devil to give you that burden? The Lord God, okay? The Lord God is in control. He gives you these challenges to wake you up. He gives you these challenges to chastise you. He gives you these challenges to teach you something, to help you grow. He gives you these challenges so you can gain experience. I mean, there are so many reasons that God gives us burdens, all right, and sometimes it's just to go to the Lord. Sometimes we've been far from God, and God just gives us the burden, so we just yearn to get back to God and say, God, help me with this struggle. Please don't put yourself in the place of God. Don't put yourself in the place of God. Encourage others that have burdens to go directly to God. That's going to be the greatest help. That's going to be the greatest help to their life. Going to the Lord God, seeking his help. The second time, the second point that I have here is when help is not helpful, is that it encourages being a busybody. It encourages being a busybody. First Peter chapter 4 15 says, but let none of you suffer as a murderer or as a thief or as an evildoer, notice the next words, or as a busybody in other men's matters. You see, sometimes other men have matters. They've got situations. They've got struggles. They've got burdens, and you think, well, maybe if I just come alongside and help them, what might happen is that you become a busybody in someone else's matters, right? You become a busybody. We say things like, well, that's not how you should do X, Y, and Z. Well, how do you know? Are you part of that family? Well, your husband shouldn't be doing well. Are you sure about that? Maybe that husband has a different situation in life. Maybe he's going through some stress or some difficulty, right? I mean, every family, I've said, and you know, sometimes in this Perfect Man series, like I said to you, some issues overlap in what I'm talking about here, okay? But are you really the right person, you know, to tell them what should or should not happen in their life with their burden, how to carry their struggle, what God is trying to do in their life? Have you got that knowledge of God that God has given them? You know, you've got to be careful. It's so easy to get involved in someone else's problems. Then you become a gossiper. You become a busybody, right? You become a tattler, because you've got all this information. You've got all this scenario that's come to you. You've taken it on board, and then because it's not your issue, it just comes out of the mouth. It comes out of the mouth, and maybe you had the right intentions all along. Maybe you just wanted to be a help. You just become a busybody in other men's matters, you know? I mean, I've seen this with my sending pastor, you know, getting involved in other men's matters, getting involved in some other church, kicking out some deacon because of oneness, theology, gets himself involved in other men's matters. I've got to get involved in this. I've got to go help that deacon who's been kicked out. It's led him to get, oh, it's ended up exposing, manifesting what he truly believes, but the point is still there. You know, it's another person's matter. It's another person's issue, right? You start to get involved. You start becoming that gossiper, that tattler, that busybody in other people's matters. It doesn't help anybody. It actually makes the situation worse. It makes the situation worse. Can you please go to Romans chapter five? Romans chapter five and verse number three. Romans chapter five and verse number three. I hate being a busybody. You know, sometimes people come to me about an issue, and sometimes I only want to know a little bit about that issue, okay? Like, I just want to know enough that I understand the gist of where you're coming from and what I need to do to go before God and pray for you. That's all. I don't need to know everything. Oh, but pastor, if you just knew this, oh, I don't need, I really don't need to know. Unless, you know, it's information that requires somebody to be disciplined and kick out of church because of some grave sin. Reverend, besides that, I don't need to know every little detail, every little skeleton in someone's closet, every little sin that someone has done. You know, I don't need to know about that. You know, number one, I just want to, I just want to look at you guys and think the best of you. I just want to think that everyone is trying to live a holy and pleasing life, and you know, number two, I just don't need to know. Why do I need to know about all the corruption, all the filth in everybody's life? I really know you're a sinner, and I know you're a sinner because I'm a sinner, right? I mean, I don't even need to know your heart because I know my heart. Well, I know some of my heart. I mean, it's desperately wicked. That's what I know. The Bible tells me that. Who can know it? So I know your heart's the same way. You know, I don't need to know everybody. If you just knew, you're a sinner. That person's a sinner. I know that already. That's what we need as a saviour. That's why we come to church because we've all been saved by a saviour, by Jesus Christ. I know you're a sinner. I know there's filthiness in people's hearts and in people's minds. I don't need to know about every little situation, all right, unless there's some grave danger to this church, unless it's leaven that's going to leaven the whole lump where somebody needs to get kicked out of church. I understand that's a different situation, but I don't need to, I don't need to know. I don't like being a busybody. You know, I really don't like being a busybody, but look at Romans chapter five verse number three. Romans five, three. And I know we know these verses, but I want us to consider this in the context of helping people, right? Romans five, three. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations. Tribulations is the word trouble. It's the same word, right? We glory in troubles. We glory in tribulations. Why do you glory in tribulations? Knowing that tribulation worketh patience. Brethren, when you're going for tribulation, rejoice. It's hard. Yes, it is hard, but understand God is going to use it to work patience in your life. Verse number four. And patience experience and experience hope and hope maketh not ashamed because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost, which is given unto us. You see, God gives us problems so we can grow out of it. We can develop patience. We can develop experience, hope, and that we are not ashamed for our Lord Jesus Christ. That we would be more mature in our Christian life. That we would not be embarrassed to call ourselves Christians. That we would not be embarrassed to go knock a door and give someone the gospel. God sends us tribulations to help us grow. But as I said to you, the first thought that a lot of people have, especially this new generation, this millennial generation, tribulation. Help! Run! I don't want this problem. Wrong attitude. Rejoice, the Bible says. Wow, what are you going to do in my life, God? How are you going to use this? Maybe I need a bit of patience. I mean, I'm sure a few of us would happily admit we're short on patience. We need God to work on our patience. We need more patience. If you really want that, then God has to send you tribulation. That's how it is. Otherwise, it's not going to happen. Oh, but when the tribulation's gone, I've got to go find it. Who's going to help me out? Who's going to carry my problem? Who's going to carry my tribulation? Then you're not going to grow. Then you're not going to develop the patience. You're not going to develop the experience, the hope. You're not going to learn to be unashamed for our Lord God. You see, we need to learn, and it's hard. It is hard. And this is, again, the perfect man series. We're developing. We're growing. I'm not saying this is going to be you today or tomorrow, but we need to get to that point where we, tribulation? Problem? My van broke down? Praise God! Whatever it is, right? I can't pay this bill. Praise God! That's what, you know, what? I'm diagnosed with what? Praise God! Can you do that? Say, that's impossible. It's in the Bible though. Glory and tribulation. It's in the Bible, right? I'm not giving you the wisdom of man here. I'm not like off base here. That's what the Bible said, right? But we glory in tribulations also, knowing that tribulation worketh patience. Glory in tribulations. And so we need to re-examine what life is about. Because a lot of people think life is having no problems. What I'm telling you, no, if you want to be a mature, perfect man of God, you need problems. Praise God for problems. I think that's your brother Michael's favourite quote to me. Praise God for problems. That's what I often hear. Praise Jesus for problems. Yeah, it's true. We don't want it to be empty words. When the problem comes and we're not really, you know, we're just saying praise God, but you're not feeling that way. No, we need to learn how to rejoice. Thank you God for the struggle you've given me. Thank you for this situation. Thank you for, I guess, you know, for my family. Eleven kids. It's going to develop something in us, right? It's a burden. It's a struggle. Oh, it must be so hard for your wife. Yeah, it's hard. Praise God. It's hard. It must be hard to homeschool so many kids. Yeah, praise God. You know, praise God it is. It must be hard to go grocery shopping for this size family. Praise God. You know, it must be hard to pass the two churches. Praise God. You know, it's given me some experience. It's adding some value to my life. I'm just using my examples. Throw your examples in there. Figure out what is it that God has given me. What trial? Don't run away from it. Don't complain about it. Rejoice. And it's the hardest thing to do. And I understand. You know, when people are going through troubles and they whine, I don't think, oh, you're such a horrible Christian. I don't have that attitude. I just think, well, you know, you need to get to that point. You know, just pray to God that God will, you know, turn your feelings and your emotions and, and re, you know, reposition your mindset, you know, and not think like this world that this world thinks, just run away from your problems or this generation. Just, just, you know, find someone else to carry that burden for you. No, learn to deal with it. You know, and for men, we need to learn how to be men again. We've lost. I don't even, it's so hard to even figure out what a man should be these days. You know, a man carries a burden. The man carries his own burden. That man carries the burden for his wife. The man carries the burden for his family. You know, the man carries the burden when he goes and works a job. All right. I mean, it's all about becoming a man. It's about taking responsibility and leadership for, for what God has given you rather than trying to run away from that issue. Run away from it. It's not going to help you. You know, people sometimes they, they just, I don't want to get married. I don't want to be tied down to a wife. I don't want to be tied down. Man, it's the best thing. It's the best learning experience. You learn so much about yourself. You know, you start to figure out sometimes the little issues that you've got that people don't like, and you start to, well, I've got to work on that. I've got to work on that, right? I mean, some people take this attitude when they get, you know, he's just got to accept me warts and all. You know, he's got to just accept me with all my problems. Why don't you try to fix those problems? Why don't you try to grow and develop and mature yourself and develop yourself? Why don't you build your, in your character? Why don't you improve your character? Why don't you be more of a blessing to other people? Why don't you, you know, why don't you learn how to rejoice in tribulations? You know, when you're amongst other people, you start to notice a lot of your own personal defects as well. You know, and it's like, well, just accept me. Work on it. Change it. The Bible is full of change. No, it's not just salvation. And praise God for salvation. Praise God that we know we're going to heaven when we die, but it's a big book. 66 books. You know what the rest of it's about? How to change, how to grow, how to be more Christ-like, how to be a perfect man. That's what the Bible is about. It's applying what you've learned and changing about yourself. Okay. But the point of reading Romans 5 free is that when you step in, when you know someone's going through a trouble and you step in and say, you know what? I'll carry all your burden. I'll just, I'll deal with it. You rest, you know, you're going through that problem. I'll deal with it. You just sit there. I'll take care of it. Is that you rob someone from their potential to grow. You rob someone from that experience that God has given them so they would mature and grow. You know, when you tell someone to run away from their problems or you say, I'll be your help. You come to me. I'll carry it all. You rob that person of the opportunity that God has given them. How's that helpful? They're not going to learn. They're not going to gain the patience, the experience, the hope, whatever is, whatever else that God was trying to develop in that person's life. You rob it all when you try to step in and help. And again, I don't want you to walk away from the sermon thinking, never help. I'll get to that point soon. Okay. I'll get to that point soon. Something else that I've observed in my life. And some people have openly admitted to this in my life that I've, that I'm familiar with. Sometimes people help because, not because they look at a situation and think, how can I be selfless? How can I be an encouragement to the person that's going through having this burden upon their shoulders? Sometimes people help out of selfishness, out of what can I gain from this situation to help this person? What am I talking about? Sometimes people lose self-confidence in themselves and they try to find purpose. They try to find meaning in their life by being a support to someone else. I'm needed. I'm important. When this person needs, you know, has an issue, I'm the person that they come to. That gives me, that makes me feel good. All right. Makes me feel good. Yeah. Like, and this is another reason why I don't like to get involved in other people's matters is because I don't want people to depend on me as a pastor. I don't want people to depend on me. I want people to depend on God. Okay. I want people to depend on God. I don't want to cause people to feel like they need to depend on man. No, man fails. Pastors fail. Brothers and sisters in churches fail. God never fails. God never fails. But sometimes people lose confidence in themselves. They lose purpose. They lose meaning, you know, and it's like, well, I get meaning and purpose if I can just be there for this person and now I feel really important. But are you actually helping that person because they need your help or you're helping that person because you need purpose. You need meaning. That's not self, that's not being selfless anymore. That's being selfish. In fact, you can trick yourself into thinking you're helping somebody when really you're just making their life a lot more difficult, a lot more challenging, you know, and, you know, and that person might be afraid to tell you, I don't need your help anymore because you might hold it against them. I've always been here for you. I've always done all these things for you. You know, I mean, you're holding it over their head because you're trying to find meaning and purpose in your life. But brethren, we don't find meaning and purpose in other men. We find meaning and purpose in our Lord God. We're a child of God. Brethren, if anyone has meaning and purpose in life, it's you that are saved. You that are a child of God. You're part of the royal family. You're going to rule on this earth as kings and priests for a thousand years. You're going to be in heaven, in your mansions, walking the streets of gold. You're a child of God. You're a child of the king. You have purpose. You have meaning. You're on this earth because God wants to use you to reach the lost, to preach the gospel, to work and help people in their Christian growth and in their Christian life. If anyone has purpose in life, it's us. We don't need to look for purpose and meaning in some other man. I've got to go and help. I've got to go and help. I've got to go and help. I've seen this, you know, families, mothers who have raised, you know, what's the word I'm looking for? A sluggard of a son. A slothful son. You know, mothers who have raised a complete bum in life and you tell that bum, go get a job. Mother comes, oh no, he doesn't have to work. You know, oh, you're going to hurt his feelings. Oh, you know, my little boy, you know, and then it's like, well, maybe he'll grow up when he gets married and then he gets married and he's still a bum and he still doesn't work. Mom, can I borrow some money? Dad, can I borrow money? I wonder if I can get some money from Centrelink. How can I make my life easy? I don't want to carry burdens. Struggles, I don't want that. Moms raised me with cotton wool, all right. Maybe he'll grow up when he has kids. Maybe finally when he has kids, he'll learn and start working and start providing and start facing the challenges. He has kids. Oh, mom, I can't afford rent. Can I stay in your house? Can I live with you, mom? You know, of course, son, I'll do anything for my son. I'll do anything for my child. You know, he grows up. The wife doesn't respect him. He's not a provider. He's not a hard worker, right. The children grow up. The sons grow up. They don't have a good example of a hard working, providing father that loves the family and the guy is a complete bum for the rest of his life. Oh, but I've helped him. You've made it worse, mom. You've destroyed his life. You've allowed him to be a complete waste of life and you've never allowed him to face some challenges. You've never pushed him because I've got to hurt his feelings and we're going to have our feelings hurt from time to time. That's what burdens are. Oh, man, it affects the pride. It affects the ego sometimes. I've got a problem. Oh, good. You've got a problem. Go to God and sort it out. Carry your burden, right? Carry the burden. Let the experience do a work in you. But sometimes, moms, they feel this is my purpose. I'm here for my son. I'm here for them. I've got to help them in every situation. You know, and look, there's a time to help your kids. You know, I mean, the housing market's crazy. I hope one day as my kids grow up, I hope I can help them in that area of life to be able to get a house one day or whatever. I don't know. You know, I don't know what the situation will be like in a few years, but you know what? I'm not going to be paying their mortgage every week. You know, if my kids fall in a hard time and they don't have housing, they say, mom, dad, can I live in your house for a while? I'll probably say yes because it's a one-off situation. It's a rare situation. Listen, by the end of the month, you need to get out of here. By the end of a couple of months, you need to have found a job. You need to be earning enough. If you need a second job, go get a second job if you have to. It's your family. It's your burden. It's not my burden. You know, it's your challenge. It's something you need to do to grow in life. But sometimes parents say, I need meaning. I need purpose. I've got to be there for my kids all the time. And you actually end up causing them harm for the rest of their lives. They never grow. They never develop. You know, they're just a child. The whole life they're a child. You know, you know what I'm talking about. You know, 40 year olds, 50 year old men, 60 year old, and they're still a teenager at heart. Where's mommy? Right? Oh, burdens. Oh, burdens. Run away from the burdens. Oh, I got married. Oh, divorce. Can't you deal with some struggles? God's given those struggles to you. To help you. To help you. Not to make your life miserable. To help you. To help you grow. Help when it's not helpful. Can you please turn to 1 Samuel chapter 17. 1 Samuel 17. You know what the worst help is when someone offers to help and they help and then they complain about helping. Do you guys know what I'm talking about? I can help you with that. Okay, thanks. Oh man, this is such a horrible job. This is so, you know, whatever. You know what? Don't help me. This is actually worse. You know, help and complaining after you offer to help. That's the worst. Okay. It's not helpful. Oh, but I'm helping. No, you're complaining. You're complaining. You're making the situation worse. 1 Samuel 17 verse 32. We can look at the story of David and Goliath. Famous story. A lot of applications that we can take in this story. 1 Samuel 17 32. And David said to Saul, let no man's heart fail because of him. That's because of Goliath. Thy servant will go and fight with this Philistine. Say, man, that David was full of confidence. Look at him. Look at him go. What a man facing some burdens, facing some trial. Go and fight Goliath. You know, when we look at the story, you'll learn that this is not his first burden. This is not his first fight. This is not his first struggle. Verse number 33. And Saul said to David, thou art not able to go against this Philistine to fight with him for thou art but a youth and he a man of war from his youth. And David said unto Saul, thy servant kept his father's sheep and there came a lion and a bear and took a lamb out of the flock. So David says, look, I've been a shepherd. I've looked after my father's sheep. There's been times that I've had a lion or even a bear come and take the sheep. So what did you do, David? Well, of course, I called animal control. You know, I called someone else to take care of the bear. I called the bear control. I called brother Jason. Sometimes you get the stray cats and dogs that you've got to pick up, right? I called brother Jason. He put that bear in his van and took it away from me. So I'm ready to face Goliath now. Is that what you did, David? No. What does David do? All right. David in verse number 35. And I went out after him. A lion and bear. Listen, brethren, if a lion and bear was in my backyard, I don't think I'd take him out. I don't know if I would. I don't know. Maybe a snake. Yeah, I'll do a snake. Okay. But a lion, a lion. I mean, I guess bears look friendly on the outside. But a lion, they look terrifying, right? I mean, I don't know. But look, David did this. All right. He went out, he slew it. And this uncircumcised Philistine shall be as one of them, saying he hath defied the armies of the living God. David said, moreover, the Lord hath delivered me out of the paw of the lion and out of the paw of the bear. Now notice that. Did David go and face his burdens? He did. He went and struggled and fought again. I don't think it was easy facing a bear and a lion. Okay. He didn't have a shotgun or something with him. I don't know how he did it, but he did it, right? But notice what he says. The Lord, right, out of the paw of the bear, he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine. He says, it's the Lord. You know, yes, I was the one and took out the lion and the bear, but it was the Lord. You see, David had the same philosophy. I've got a burden. I've got a trial. God, help me. And now I'll go and take out the lion. Lord, you need to help me carry my burden. Lord, you have to teach me something. And he goes, look, because I've taken on the lion, because I've taken on the bear, I'm ready to take on Goliath. I'm ready for this greater challenge. All right. And Saul said unto David, go and the Lord be with thee. So what do we learn there? Okay. Yeah. David could have run away from his problems and they've major problems. I wouldn't, I wouldn't feel like, I would understand if David could not take out the bear and the lion on his own. I understand if he went and got animal control or something, right? I completely understand if he went that way, but no, he says, well, I'm going to, it's my burden. It's my challenge. I'll go and take him out. I'll go deliver that lamb that's been stolen. And what did that allow him to do? To be ready to take on Goliath. Brethren, David carried his own burden. What if animal control came? What if someone else, we'll take care of the lion for you, David. We'll take care of it, of the bear. He would not be ready for Goliath. He would not be ready to take on Goliath. And yeah, he took on Goliath. That's the next step in Estonia's life. That got him ready to be seen as a leader, as an example. And he ends up becoming the king of the nation. Okay. And a great king he was, a man after God's own heart. But brethren, David did not run away from his problems. You see, when you try to help someone to the point where they're not carrying their burdens anymore, you're not even helping them. You're not helping them get to the point where they can be, where they can mature and grow and take on greater challenges. Let me encourage you, you know, if you're faced with men, you're working and you've got some difficult task that's been given to you, you know, and look, there's nothing wrong seeking help and advice and some counsel, but I strongly encourage you, face it. Deal with it. God has put it on your shoulders. It's going to help you grow. It's going to help you potentially get some promotion, potentially get a pay rise, potentially take on a greater challenge, potentially teach you how to one day run your own business where you don't have to rely on other people. You know, God throws things at you. You've got to take it and own it and carry that burden. You know, if God gives you a bear, take it on. Maybe God's going to send us Goliath one day and you'll be the one ready to take down Goliath. But brethren, obviously if someone else came in, David will help you with a bear. David will help you with a lion. David will help you with Goliath. He would never have become king. That's help. Yeah, but he wasn't helpful. I helped David, yeah, but he didn't become king. I can help David with a lion, yeah, but he couldn't, then he wouldn't take down Goliath. So you've got to be careful with your help. You know, careful. Consider what you're trying to do. Can you please turn to 2 Samuel? You're in 1 Samuel. Turn to 2 Samuel chapter 6. 2 Samuel chapter number 6. 2 Samuel chapter 6. The next thing is, sometimes people help and they know it's made things worse and instead of just admitting that it made it worse, instead of admitting I should not have done that, I should not have got involved, instead of admitting I became a busybody, they hide behind good intentions. Oh, but I had good intentions. Okay, you had good intentions, but you made the situation worse. You had good intentions, but it wasn't your burden to carry. You had good intentions, but hey, you know, now that brother's affected. Now that sister's been affected in some way. You had good intentions, but now they haven't learned from their burden. You've taken it away from them. Hiding behind good intentions. 2 Samuel chapter 6 verse 1. 2 Samuel chapter 6 verse 1. I won't go into the whole story, but the Philistines had stolen the Ark of the Covenant from Israel and now it's been restored unto Israel and David is bringing this Ark, he's bringing it into Jerusalem, he's glorifying God, but David did not carry the Ark the way God instructed them to. Let's have a look at verse number one. Again, David gathered together all the chosen men of Israel, thirty thousand, and David arose and went with all the people that were with him from Beyuli of Judah to bring up from thence the Ark of God, whose name is called by the name of the Lord of hosts that dwelleth between the cherubims. So that's great. Bring the Ark of God. Let's bring it to Jerusalem. Sounds great. Good intentions. Verse number three. And they set the Ark of God upon a new cart and brought it out of the house of Abinadab that was in Gibeah unto Uzzah or Uzzah I should say in Ohio, the sons of Abinadab, drave the new cart. Hey David, we've got some ideas here. We've got a way that we can carry this Ark. We've got a new cart right here. It's brand new. It's been built. It's going to make it easy. It's got wheels. You know, we ought to transport it. Hey, great. That's helpful. That sounds helpful to me, right? Well, let's keep going there. Verse number four. And they brought it out of the house of Abinadab, which was in Gibeah, accompanying the Ark of God, and Ohio went before the Ark. And David and all the house of Israel played before the Lord on all manner of instruments made of fur wood, even on harps and on sultries and on timbrels and on cornets and on cymbals. And when they came to Nacon's freshen floor, Uzzah put forth his hand to the Ark of God. So Uzzah reaches forth to touch the Ark of the Covenant, the Ark of God, and took hold of it. Why did he take hold of it? For the oxen shook it. So you've got oxes. You've got a cart. It's carrying the Ark. All right. I guess it got unstable. Looks like the Ark was about to fall. Uzzah, sorry, is it Uzzah? Yeah, Uzzah has good intentions. The Ark's going to fall, David. I'm going to reach out and make sure it doesn't fall. It might get damaged in the fall. He reaches out. Good intentions. Sounds good, right? We'll give it some seven. And the anger of the Lord was kindled against Uzzah, and God smote him there for his error. And there he died by the Ark of God. What? God, I had good intentions. I'm trying to hold up the Ark. God is so angry, he kills the man. He kills the man that touched the Ark. What's the problem? We have good intentions. The new cart, that's a good intention, an easier way to transport the Ark. Hey, this guy is holding it before it falls. That's a good intention. All right. Yeah, but it's not helpful. It's not the way God prescribed for the Ark to be carried. Okay, you can read it in your own time, but God instructed Moses that when they carry the Ark, it's going to be done by the Levites. It's going to be done by the priests. All right. And it was upon staves. So they put a stave on either side. You had two people carrying it from the front, two people carrying it on the back. They put it upon their shoulder, and they would walk that Ark around. No carts and no one else touching the Ark. That was God's instruction. We need to be obedient to God. Oh, but I had good intentions. You know what? You can anger God with your good intentions. You can cause something a disaster to fall because of your good intentions. Reverend, you know what? My default view on everybody is you have good intentions, but sometimes your good intentions causes problems. That means your help was not helpful. Okay. You hope you had good intentions. Okay. But don't hide behind the good intentions. What's better than good intentions? Obedience. If we just carry it the right way. Okay. It would have been slower. It would have been much slower than an Ark. Okay. It would have required more effort. Hey, it's literally a burden upon those Levites on their shoulders, but that's what God wants from them. That's how God prescribed the carrying of the Ark. They took their, they had good intentions. They went their own way. God ends up killing the man for being disobedient to him. Be careful. Be careful. You know, about what, what Arks you carry on your shoulders. Is it yours to carry? You know, are you hiding behind good intentions? It's, you know, it's horrible. Look at verse number eight. And David was displeased because the Lord had made a breach upon Uzzah and he called the name of the place Perez Uzzah to this day. And David was afraid of the Lord that day and said, how shall the Ark of the Lord come to me? Hey, this brought a fear in David's heart, man. I better do things the right way. How am I going to get the Ark to come to me? Well, I'm not going, I'm going to just read to you very quickly from another passage later on in first Chronicles 15 verse one, it says, and David made him houses in the city of David and prepared a place for the Ark of God and pitched a tent for it. Sorry, and pitched for it a tent. Then David said, none ought to carry the Ark of God, but the Levites. For them have the Lord chosen to carry the Ark of God and to minister unto him forever. And David gathered all Israel together to Jerusalem, to bring up the Ark of the Lord unto his place, which he had prepared for it. So you see later on, David learns the lesson. All right. Yes, we've got to bring the Ark. We've got to carry the Ark. It's got to be the Levites. Just like God said. Okay. So there were good intentions. He realized, man, this was not helpful. We ended up, a man ended up dying because of our disobedience. Okay. So we better do things the right way. We better carry the Ark the right way. The right people ought to carry this burden. Okay. As God prescribed. The next thing I want to say is being busy, busyness and hardships are not bad things. I know the world has told you being busy or having things that are hard on your shoulders are bad things. They're not bad things. Okay. Now you guys know this story, you know, and I looked this up. It's not just a story. It's true, but there's a story that goes where a man saw a monarch butterfly struggling in its cocoon. Okay. It's not actually, not a cocoon. Does anyone know what it's called? I think cocoons are for moths. What's for butterflies? Chrysalis. That's right. Chrysalis. That's right. That's the word. Chrysalis. Right. I mean, you know, obviously, you know, that butterflies, they start as caterpillars. Right. And then they get into their chrysalis and they come out as a butterfly. Well, this monarch butterfly was apparently struggling. Right. It was, you know, seemingly had a hard time getting out of its chrysalis. So the man comes along and helps the butterfly out. Okay. Well, the butterfly, yeah, he helped. Yeah. The man had good intentions, but when the butterfly came out, the wings were too small. Its body was too swollen and he just, he couldn't fly, went on the floor and died early. Okay. He died early. You know, what's the lesson there? And it's true. If you look this up, it's true. Okay. The struggle that butterfly goes through is essential. It must have that struggle for the fluid in its body to go into its wings. So the wings would grow and then it can fly. The struggle is essential. But pastor, I've got good intentions. I want to help that butterfly. You kill it. You kill it. God gives struggles for a reason. He gives us these examples in nature for a reason. Oh, but I just want to help. You're causing problems. Step away. Okay. God designed that butterfly to have that burden, to have that struggle for its survival. And you step in thinking you're smarter. You're smarter than God. Oh, I'll carry this butterfly's burden. And you destroy it. You destroy it. You know, business and hardships. Oh, your wife has so many kids. She must be so busy. That's a good thing. It's not a bad thing. Right. It must be so hard. Pastor Kevin, pastor in two churches. It's a good thing. Praise God for it. It's a good thing. It's a good thing for me. There's something God wanted to teach me. And what that is, I don't know just yet. Okay. I'm sure there's something good that's coming out of it. You know, maybe I wouldn't be the pastor I am today if I didn't have the two churches. I don't know. Maybe I'd be more selfish or something. Who knows? There's something God is trying to put me through hardship, you know, to grow whatever wings I need to grow, whatever it is in God's life that I need to grow with that situation. God has given you a hardship. God has given you a burden that you would grow from it. That you would be like that butterfly. You would develop your wings. You'd be that butterfly's a lot prettier than the caterpillar. You can get around a lot more than the caterpillar can. Okay. You know, God gives us these struggles for a reason. We need to learn to enjoy them. You know, business and hardships are not bad things. You'd rather be busy than idle. The Bible has a lot to say about idleness. The Bible says in Proverbs 31 27 about the virtuous woman. She looketh well to the ways of her household and eateth not the bread of idleness. See, God is against idleness. Sometimes we think I'll help you so you can be a little bit more idle. Oh, the kids are a burden. Hey, take them to grandma. Take them to granddad every single day of the week. Okay, because you need to just get your rest. No, because then when they have the kids, they can't handle it. They need to learn. They need to carry that burden themselves. You know, please don't remove the burdens that God has given you. Now, let me talk about a mother very quickly. Just mothers in general. All right. Now, when a mother brings forth a child, it's called labor for a reason. Okay. It's very hard. It's very hard. You know, it's a one-off. It's a rare thing, right? It's not like every day they're giving birth to a child. It's not like every month they're giving birth to a child, right? I mean, I understand a mother who's gone through difficulties, she may need some help. Yeah, she may need some help. You know, there are times when my wife has given birth and we've left some or most of the kids with my parents for a week or two. All right. Yeah. But what if I just left them with my parents every single week? Oh, my mom, the baby's still here. You know, babies can't sleep through the night. You know, baby's sick. Can we just leave all our kids at your house every single day, every single week? Is that help? It's not help. Hey, but if my wife's just giving birth, she's recovering from that. Maybe she's had a cesarean. Hey, is that the right time to help? Absolutely. The situation is a one-off. The situation is a one-time need type help situation. That's when you can step in and help. But if it's an ongoing daily thing and you say, I need help, you're not actually helping. You're not helping that person develop and grow and gain the experience and knowledge and the know-how, how to live out their life. You know, you're not giving them the experience that God wants them to have. You know, we've had mothers come and deliver us meals, especially in our old church. Christina's given birth. Man, they've got their family. And this is all wonderful, good intentions. Let's organise the ladies in church. Let's bring them a meal. And praise God for the ladies that did that. I'm not trying to say it's a horrible thing to do. I'm saying praise God for that. Okay. And yeah, you know what? If you're coming and bringing a meal, here you go, sister. I know you're having a hard time praying for you. Can't wait to see you back in church with the little one. All right, let me know if there's anything else I can do for you. See you later. That's hope. What about this? Here's a meal. Can I come in? Let's have a chat for an hour. Let's have a chat for two hours. Oh, baby needs to be fed. I'll just hang around. You know, did you know this happened in church the other day? Three hours have gone, four hours have gone, five hours have gone. The mother's just had a baby. She's trying to recover. And, you know, you've done something nice and she doesn't know how to tell you to go away. I'm busy. I'm tired. My baby needs to be breastfed. Maybe I won't do it in front of you. My baby needs to sleep. Maybe you're interrupting our routine, we're interrupting our flow. I'm exhausted. Can you go? That's hard for people to do. But sometimes, ladies take that opportunity. I can go and help so I can be a busybody. It happens. That's not helpful. That's not helpful. It makes it worse. It's help when it's not. Help is not always helpful. In that situation, it's not helpful. Okay. Again, it's that situation, not of selflessness, but of selfishness. I need some company. I need to get things off my shoulder. Oh, I'll use this opportunity of bringing a meal to someone's house when they're in need and now I can offload all my issues and spend their hours upon hours and hours, you know, and then I can go to church and say, man, I was such a help to Sister So-and-so, I was there for five hours. You didn't help. You caused problems. You made it more difficult. You know, the Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 4.11, in fact, can you please turn there? I think this might be the last passage. 1 Thessalonians, chapter 4, verse 11. 1 Thessalonians, chapter 4, verse 11. 1 Thessalonians, chapter 4, verse number 11. The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 4.11, and that ye study to be quiet and to do your own business. That word business is like the word busy. It is busy. It's busyness. All right. Do your own business. You get busy with your own things and to work with your own hands as we commanded you that ye may walk honestly toward them that are without and that ye may have lack of nothing. The idea of lack of nothing means you're whole, you're perfect, the perfect man. Brevin, we need to learn how to be busy, not how to be idle. We need to, yeah, man, if you got time on your hands, get busy, do something, be productive with your own business. Find what God wants you to put your hands toward and do it. You know, and everyone else has their own burdens. Everyone else has their own business and everyone else needs to carry their own struggles. And Brevin, you know, let me get to the next point now. When should I help? Sounds like Pastor Kevin is saying, never help. That's not what I'm saying. I'm not saying. In fact, I love help. I love all the help you guys have given me since we moved back. I love it all. I don't want this time to come across like you guys made my life hell or something. Okay. That's not how it is. That's not how it is. All right. But the question is, when should I help? When should I help? Well, number one, if the person is under your authority, then it's an automatic, yes, I have to help. Okay. Husbands, your wife is struggling, you help. Your children are struggling, you help. Employers, your employees are struggling, you help. Okay. And I've used this example before. You know, I think it was about, I preach a sermon, what did I call it? I can't remember what I call it. But anyway, it was about, you know, I gave some examples of when I was a manager and I had supervisors come up to me and try to ask me, how do I do this? How do I do that? How do I do that? Now, I could have given them all the answers. Okay. But really, that's why they're in that position. Right. If I step in and do it for them, number one, I'm not helping them. Number two, I'm wasting my time. They're in that position for a reason. Okay. But they are my employees. If they're my employees, yes, I'm there to help them. I'm to help them along. Give them some guidance. Give them some direction. But at the same time, I'm still not removing the burden off their shoulders. You know, if your wife, men, if your wife's struggling with the kids, you have to help them. You have to support them. You have to give them some advice. Give them some encouragement. Okay. Show them that you love them. Appreciate them. But it's not your burden to carry the children. You know, wives, if your husband's struggling at work, you know, oh, honey, don't worry. I'll go to work for you. You stay home tomorrow and I'll go to work for you. Wrong. Hey, you encourage him. You pray for him. You know, you help him. You help him along in his life. You make his life a little bit easier when he's at home. Okay. So he's got the energy to go to work and provide an income to take care of the family. You know, but it's still his burden. He's still got to go to work tomorrow. He can't just say, honey, work so hard. I'm going to quit. Right. You know, but we're there for each other. Right. Number one, if the person is under your authority, it's an automatic yes. But remember, they still have to carry their own burden. You can come and carry it with them. You can help them along to a certain extent, but if it becomes an everyday issue, you have to understand it's their burden to carry. But yes, automatic yes, if the person is under your authority. Next thing, when should I help? Ask if help is genuinely needed. Don't presume. Don't just assume this person needs help. Ask, is there anything I can do? Okay. And if they say yes, next question is, what would you like me to do? Leave it in their hands. The person who is seeking help will tell you in what area they need help. Okay. It's not yours to just presume. All right. Otherwise you'll have this attitude. Well, see, your problem is, well, how do you know that's their problem? Maybe it's not their problem. Have you thought about all the issues? Well, I think you should do. Do you even know all the scenario, all the situation, why they've chosen it to do it this way? They've probably run through, like people don't just make decisions without thinking about it. Okay. You know, you often think about the pros and cons. You look at all the options. You go, I'm going to go with this one because this suits my life the best. Well, have you considered? Well, maybe they have considered. They have considered. Okay. Let them tell you what the help they need is. All right. Oh, don't do it like that. Why? You want to do it the way you do it? Do you want to turn them into a little use? That's not helpful. Everyone's different. We've seen this. We all have our own personalities. We all have our own families. We all have our own backgrounds. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses. But if you just were more like me, that's not helpful. Okay. It's not helpful. If so, yeah, if they say yes, I would like, or they come and ask for help. Next question is how would you like me to be of help? Don't just assume that what you think will be helpful, what you think will be helpful to them. The next thing that I have here, third point, number three is categorise the problem. Categorise the problem. As I said, is it a one-off? Is it an unexpected situation that offer your help? Is it a rare situation? Again, we've moved here. That's, you know, yes, you guys helped us unpack and move. All right. But what if I was moving house every week? You know, am I, you know, what are you doing this weekend helping Pastor Kevin move again? You know, I mean, at the end of the day, you're not really helping. Okay. It's not helping that in that regard, is it? Right. You know, one-off situation. My son's had an accident. Can I leave my kids at your house because I need to rush the hospital? That's a one-off. Yeah. But I need to leave my kids every day at your house now. That's not helpful. You got to categorise it. Is it a one-off or is it a reoccurring or frequent issue? Raising the kids. You know, I've got COVID. Mum, dad, parents, grandparents, can you look after the kids for the next week while I recover from COVID? All right. Okay. But can I leave my kids every single week at your house? You know, that's your problem to carry. It's your burden to carry. It's not someone else's, you know. You know, there was once I had a, you know, I had a situation with one employee who asked for a pay advance and yeah, we gave him pay advance. You know, she went through some domestic struggle, some issue. I think her husband became like a bum, literally a bum. Okay. And she needed a pay advance to pay for bills, et cetera. So we did that. You know, it's a one-off. It's a, you know, it's a call for help, a good employee. You know, yes, we'll give you an advance payments. All right. And that's fine. You know, we can help in this regard. But then it was next pay, can I have another advance payment? Next pay, can I have another advance payment? Next pay, can I have another advance payment? And I had to sit down and say, I'm not helping you anymore. I'm actually making your situation worse. Yes, you have some financial struggles right now because your husband's a bum, whatever the situation was. Okay. But now you need to learn how to handle your situation. We can't just keep giving you cash advances because it's not helping you in the long run. You're not finding solutions to your problem. You're not learning how to save up, or you're not actually cutting down the waste costs that you have to make these payments. If we just keep giving you advances, it just gives you an opportunity to run away from the problem you currently have. And you know, and then I had to present her the hardship. You're not going to get paid next week because you've already been paid in advance and that's going to be a pain on you. Okay. But then again, you'll get your pays as they come. All right. And then, you know, she was angry at me when I told her that. She was upset with me when I told her that. You know what, going one week when she's really strong to pay bills, going one week without a payment, no, the payment's in advance. So she did get paid. All right. But you know, to get back to the normal routine of things, she got upset with me. About a month later, she comes up to me and she goes, look, I'm so thankful that you took away my advance payment because it allowed me to sort out my problems. Instead of trying to run away and pay this bill and pay that bill, it made me sit down and reanalyze our financial situation. I was able to cut out the waste. I was able to re, you know, distribute money here and there and prioritize these bills and prioritize that. And now I'm back to where I need to be. You know, hey, what if we just kept giving her cash advances? Oh, you're such a good manager. Oh, you know, you're so thoughtful about, I'm destroying that person's life. I'm not helping them in the long run. Okay. Yeah. One off. Yeah. One off cash advance. Every pay week after week, month after month. It doesn't help anybody. It doesn't help people in that situation. I'm just giving you some examples of this. Okay. Let me go through those three things again. When should I help? If the person is under your authority, automatic yes. Okay. Automatic yes. Number two, ask if the help is genuinely needed. And then ask the question, so what can I do to help you? How would you like me to help? Okay. Don't just assume where you need to help. And number three, categorize the burden. Categorize the problem. Is it a one-off? Is it urgent? Is it an unexpected situation? Go and help. Yes. Go and help. Please. I don't want you to walk away from this sermon thinking parts that never help. Please help. You know, you're fulfilling the law of Christ, but we have to do it the right way. Are you the right person? Are you genuinely helping them? Or are you causing the problems to be worse? Okay. Let's pray.