(Disclaimer: This transcript is auto-generated and may contain mistakes.)

where they're in 2 Corinthians chapter 12. Now, what I want to preach about today is not really the focus of this chapter. Like, the chapter doesn't really focus on this concept, but it does speak of a principle that I want to build from. And, but let me give you a little bit of context to 1 Corinthians 12. You probably all know, because, you know, it's one of these books that I love to read, but you need to understand that Paul, who preached the gospel, got many of these people saved and started the Corinthian church, after a period of time, you had some false prophets that crept in and they started to accuse Paul of wanting to benefit from the church or trying to make a profit and, or a profit, financial profit from the church, or, you know, that he's not a true apostle of the Lord and these false prophets are calling themselves apostles. And so Paul has to write this letter and he begins to defend his ministry. You know, he defends himself. And I think even in, he mentions about, you know, like the fact that he's got, like he starts to talk about all the works that he's done for the church, for the ministry. And then he kind of speaks about being a fool because he's not trying to boast of what he's accomplished, but he's trying to differentiate himself from these false prophets that are taking advantage of the people. He's like, look, I'm not the kind of person that's taking advantage of you, all right? I'm not trying to be a burden to you. I did not start the Corinthian church to profit from you like these other wicked false prophets. And what I want to look at is verse number 14. He says, behold, the third time I am ready to come to you and I will not be burdensome to you. Okay, for I seek not yours. Like I don't seek your wealth. I don't seek your possession, but you, all right? Because the reason I come, the reason this is the third time I'm seeking to come and visit you is because I want to benefit you. I want to profit you, right? He wants to come and help this church that's been falling apart. They've been having disputes and arguments and divisions in the church that our false prophets have entered in and caused a lot of mayhem. He goes, look, I'm coming not to benefit and profit from you and take all your possessions and take all of your wealth. I don't want to be a burden to you. I come for you. I come for your profit to benefit you. And so that's the whole point. That's what he's trying to drive home as he writes in this chapter. But then he gives this very interesting principle or metaphor that I want to build from in the rest of this verse. It says, for the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children. So the title for the sermon this morning is the parents for the children, the parents for the children. Now I've been going through a series almost for a year now, okay? And we started with a series on submission, remember that? And how God has put certain authorities over us and we need to learn how to be submissive to those authorities, obedient to the authorities and not rebellious against the authorities that God has laid up over us. But then we flipped the series on its head and we started to speak about those in authority. So if you're someone that has people under your authority, this is a series for you. And we've been going through, you know, all the different levels of authority that God has ordained on the earth. And now we're up to the last one, which is parents, okay? Parent, the parents for the children. And if you have children parents, if you have, I'm talking children that are not adults now that are living their own lives, but young children, you have authority over their lives, okay? And here's the thing, Paul uses this interesting example, right? As an apostle to this church, he goes, look, I'm as the leader and the apostle, my goal is to benefit you. My goal is to teach you God's word, that you would grow and that you would learn, that you would gain wisdom. You know, I'm coming in offering of myself for the benefit of the church. I'm willing to be sacrificial and give what I can to bless the church. And then he uses that illustration, just like the parents to children, right? When we have children and especially a young baby and they're born from the mother's womb, listen, that baby can't do anything of itself. It can't walk, it can't speak, it can't work, it can't clothe itself, it can't clean itself. It needs full dependence on mom and dad, right? To take care of the needs of that child, right? Like if my mom gives birth to that baby, you can't be like, all right, one day year old, go and work for us, right? Go and work a job at McDonald's and give us your paycheck. You know, it's the children for the parents. That's why we had you, right? So we can take it easy. And the reason we have a whole bunch of kids is so we don't have to labor, we don't have to work. You're gonna benefit us, you're gonna profit us. No, it's the other way around. If the parents are the ones that, you know, if you haven't had children yet, you'll soon learn that once the children come, you know, your love and for that child, the natural affection that you have for the child, you're right, it will cause you to start being sacrificial. You know, you start to focus on what your children need also many times above what your own need. And that is kind of the illustration that Paul uses about his love toward the Corinthian church. So the parents for the children. So we're gonna use that and, you know, I've taught a few times on parenting, on families, on mums and dads. So I thought I wanted to take a few other thoughts that I've not really preached on in the past. So we're going to move away from, actually, no, before I move away from that, let's talk about the fact that, you know, Paul here is basically ensuring this church is taken care of, right? He has seen the corruption in the church already and he's coming in, he needs to clean house, he needs to get things in order. So when we talk about children ought not to lay up for the parents, you know, what are we talking about? You know, well, first of all, we talk about maybe our financial resources. Like I gave you the example, like, you know, we don't take the baby, the one-year-old baby, go and labor for us, go and work for us because we want to take it easy, we want to retire now and everything you bring into the household, we're gonna live off. That's crazy, all right? You know, there are times my kids are like, dad, don't worry, I'll pay for it. Like, no, you know, it makes me feel a little bit uneasy. No, no, I'm your dad, I'm your parent, right? I'll take care of that need, I'll take care of that. And it's just part of that natural affection, that natural desire to be a caring overseer or authority over those children that God has given you. And so, you know, we talk about our children needing, of course, financial resources to be able to live their life, you know, to be able to, you know, afford them clothing and shoes and maybe a different pair of clothing from time to time for different purposes. You know, other things that we might do is ensure they've got good food, right? We don't want our kids to always just eat, I don't know, frozen meals all the time, right? We wanna make sure they have something that is nutritious, something that is fresh. You know, parents, that's, I guess, often mom's responsibility to make sure that there's a good meal on the table. And every now and again, you can get your frozen meal. Every now and again, you can get your junk food if you want. But ideally, the parents wanna make sure that the children have something that nourishes them, that takes care of their needs, because you want them to grow and we don't want them to suffer with illnesses or things like that unnecessarily because we cut corners. You know, I don't wanna go too much into all of this, but I have shared many times how it's tough being a father of 12 or 11 children now and, you know, taking care of their needs through ministry. It's a very difficult thing to do. And it's been, I've had advice given to me more than once. It's like, well, why don't you just get your kids to work and pay for the family? It's like, no, no, no, because it's the parents for the children, not the children for the parents, right? Like in my heart, when my children start to labor, when they get their education and the training and they start earning a paycheck, I want them thinking about what they will need in the future, right? Putting that aside for their needs and down the track, if the Lord God will ever lead them to a husband or a wife and their own family and their own future needs, I want them to be thinking about what they will need as the future. I don't want them to be thinking, oh, the reason I went to work is because the ministry was not taking care of my mom and dad. And so we had to step in and take care of that. I think I would be failing that point of view. I don't know at what point does that become an infidel? You know, where a man who does not provide for his own, at what point does that become an infidel? Worse than a non-believer, you know, I don't know. But you know, I find it strange. I don't know, maybe it's a cultural thing. Maybe it's something, because my parents came from South America and even Christina's parents came from Portugal and Europe. You know, I don't know, but it seems like it's the Aussie way to make your kids pay for things. Whereas it's not children for the parents, it's parents for the children, right? And I'm not saying it's ever wrong for your kids to pay for things. I think it's a good thing for them to do to learn how to save up, understand the value of money, to understand when they spend something, then they spend it like, oh man, this costs not $10, but this costs this many minutes and this many hours of blood, sweat, and tears of labouring. Is this transaction worth it or not, right? They're basing it on their efforts rather than some financial figures. So there's value, of course, in telling our kids to spend their earnings, but we don't wanna cause that they, the reason they're spending earnings is because mum and dad can't take care of their needs. And in fact, to better take care of mum and dad's needs, we need you to labour and work and provide. That's contrary to the principle that Paul is using to describe himself as an apostle of the Corinthian church. So financial resources, good food, our children need education, don't they? They need to be educated. We don't want our kids to be completely ignorant and unable to think, unable to rationalise, unable to have critical thinking, unable to figure out what five times four is, some basic mathematical principles. We want them to be educated, right? We wanna also guide them in being able to, for them to be able to lay up for themselves, right? Not laying up for their parents, but laying up for themselves. And like I said earlier, their future spouse and their future families and making sure they're good stewards with what God has given them, right? Not just being wasteful, but thinking about how can I use my resources for the kingdom of God's sake, prioritising God. Everything that I have belongs to the Lord. And how does the Lord want me to take care of the things that I have? So again, having children is not for the purpose of making them labour so your life can be easier, but rather it's the parents for the children. And that is the responsibility that God has given us as parents, as authority figures in their lives to make sure that our children do well in life, right? In many areas of life. Come with me to John chapter nine. Come with me to John chapter nine. We're going to look at a few references here. John chapter nine, and like I said, I want to take a few other passages of the Bible that maybe I've not really taught heavily on, on parenting and add some additional things to what I've preached on in the past. But John chapter nine, please. John chapter nine and verse number 20. Now this is the story of a blind man. Jesus did a lot of miracles. This is a story where Jesus healed the blind man and the Christ rejecting Jews, they're all surprised, right? How did this happen? And in John chapter nine, verse number 20. So these Jews, they ended up going to the parents. They go to the parents of this man that had blindness, but now can see, right? And they asked the parents, what happened? How did this take place? And the parents are a little bit afraid of the Jews here because if they say, oh, it was Jesus, the Christ, right? They can get into, they can suffer persecution or what have you. Well, in John nine, verse 20, it says, his parents answered them and said, we know that this is our son and that he was born blind. But by what means he now seeth, we know not or who opened his eyes, we know not. Look at these words. He is of age, ask him, he shall speak for himself. All right, I know this is not the main teaching here, but I want to take some principles here, okay? The parents are like, look, he was blind, but now we can see how this happened. We weren't there, we don't know, ask our son, he's of age, he can speak for himself. Now, brethren or parents, you know, parents, one of your responsibilities, one of the most basic needs is that you teach your children to speak for themselves. One day they're going to be of age and of age, you could say adulthood. Say pastor Kevin, what is adulthood? I believe in the Bible, adulthood is 20 years old, based on many things I've taught on that in the past, okay? But roughly society gets it about right. Some say 18, some say 20, some say 21. Generally speaking, you know, by the time they get of that age, they're a full age, they ought to be able to speak for themselves, right? If Nicholas is 20 years old, and you want to know something about Nicholas, and you come to me, you know, pastor Kevin, tell him, I'm like, look, he's of age, he can speak for himself, right? And look, if he can't speak for himself, haven't I failed him as a parent? Haven't I failed him as a father? That he can't articulate his own thoughts and his own experiences. And so this is why, you know, an education is important, not only mathematics, but with that we teach them English and grammar, where they can speak and they can speak with clarity, they can form sentences, right? They can, this is an important part of growing up, where they can then speak of their thoughts and their ideas and of their experiences, because they're of age. If you continue there in verse number 22, it says, these words spake his parents because they feared the Jews, for the Jews had agreed already that if any man did confess that he was Christ, that he should be put out of the synagogue. Okay, so the parents didn't want to give all the information. All right, if they say it was Jesus Christ that did this, Jesus the Christ, they get kicked out of church, essentially, all right? Kicked out of the synagogue, as it were. And then it says here in verse number 23, therefore said his parents, he is of age, ask him. All right, parents, we learned something, that when our kids are not of age, then we speak on their behalf, right? We're their parents, we're their authority, okay? But we understand they're gonna get to a point in their lives when they are of age, when they ought to be able to speak for themselves. And so we need to be able to train our children, okay? Equip our children with the ability to express what they're thinking, what they're experiencing, being able to speak with words, right? Not text messages all the time and shorthand, but able to express themselves as even in their faith, as to who it is that saved them, as to who it is that healed them, all right? Our children of age should be able to express their faith in Jesus Christ and why they have trusted him as their savior. And so teach our children to speak for themselves. I mentioned this before, the ability to speak with clarity, all right? Teaching them grammar, teaching them how to pronounce words. And many of my children have always had difficulties on certain words, like sometimes the Rs can sound like Ws, things like that, or the th, or whatever it is, right? And so when our children struggle as they're growing up with different speaking issues, we've tried to make sure that we spend the effort and the time to fix that and different techniques go on the internet, you know, how can we get our kids to pronounce that properly? You know, one thing my wife does, you know, cause we homeschool our kids, there's a lot of American material out there to teach English, but we've made our decision on that. We live in Australia, we want our kids to learn Australian English, right? We want them to be able to spell like an Australian cause this is where they live, this is where they function, right? There's enough American TV, they're gonna get enough of the American accent and the American way of speaking, but you know, we wanna express themselves in Australia because they live in Australia, right? This is an important part, they can express what they have to say. And in order to speak, sometimes you need to be able to instill in your children confidence, okay? The confidence to express what they have to say. And in this scenario, you've got Jews that hate Jesus Christ and this son of age has to have the ability to express exactly what took place, even though he's fearing potentially being kicked out of the synagogue. And so having the confidence to express what they have to say, this is something we need to train our children with the ability to do. We need to be able to teach our children to speak the truth. The parents were afraid to speak the truth, okay? Out of fear of the Jews. But this child is able to express later on, like, you know, I don't know who he was, but man, I was blind, but now I see. Later on in the story, he comes across Christ and you know, he puts his faith and trust in Christ. He believes on the savior and so on and so forth. But this is a man who is able to speak the truth rather than speak lies. And so of course, as parents, you know, when our children lie and sometimes it's hard, but you know, sometimes you figure it out as parents, you know, when they've lied and you've got to be able to instruct them, correct them and teach them they must speak the truth with confidence, with clarity, all right? Parents, this is something that we need to guide our children with. Come with me to Hebrews 11. Hebrews 11, Hebrews 11, please. And verse number 23, Hebrews 11. I want to talk to you about Moses. You know, the story of Moses. He was taken at a very young age, probably somewhere between one or two years old after he was weaned from his mother. He was taken by Pharaoh's daughter. He grew up in the Egyptian royal family. Most of his life, most of his childhood, I mean, who remembers when they were weaning as a baby? Who remembers being one year old or two years old? I don't remember, okay? I have no idea. The earliest memories are about four years old. I don't know about you guys, but I don't remember being breastfed, all right? Or bottom fed or anything like that. I don't have those memories. But Moses' mother had him until he was fully weaned, okay? And then he was given over to the royal family there in Egypt, Pharaoh's family, all right? And so he was raised in the royal household. He would have eaten the best foods. He would have anything he wanted, he would have been able to access. He would have had the best education, okay? All of these riches, you know, a great future ahead of him. And the Bible says in Hebrews 11, 23, by faith, Moses, when he was born, was hid three months of his parents because they saw he was a proper child and they were not afraid of the king's commandments. By faith, Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter. Instead, it says here, verse 125, choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season, esteeming the reproach of Christ's greater riches than the treasures in Egypt, for he had respect unto the recompense of the reward. All right, we learned something about Moses. That he would rather suffer affliction, he would rather suffer being named and with the people of God than to be raised in the royal family in the palace of the Pharaoh with all the riches and all the power. You say, how did that happen? His mother instilled some godliness into him at such an early age, all right, before he was completely weaned off and given over to the royal family, all right? Something in those early years stuck with him, his mother's teachings, what his parents did to protect him and he chose instead of being wealthy and powerful, he said, I'm gonna suffer with God's people. So when it comes to raising our children, we must give them essential foundations in life where even if in the midst of their life, they go a little bit wayward or even temporarily they chase the riches of the world, eventually the foundations that have been laid in their life they return back to those things and they understand what is of true value. The first thing we see in Moses' life is the parents were willing to sacrifice their own safety than the safety of their children, all right? They said, no, we're going to reject the commandment of Pharaoh, we're not gonna kill this child, all right? And by rejecting that commandment, what are they doing? They're putting themselves in danger, aren't they? They could potentially lose their own lives for disobeying the Pharaoh. They say, no, we would rather die than our children die, okay? We would rather sacrifice our own safety to make sure that our children are safe and taken care of. Parents, that's what we do. The parents lay up for the children. You know, our lives are many times sacrificial for our children's needs. Please don't misunderstand. I'm not saying whatever your kids want, give it to them. That's not what I'm saying at all. If you give your kids whatever they want, they will grow up spoiled brats, I'll tell you that. They will grow up not appreciating what mum and dad do for their lives. They're gonna grow up thinking they're just entitled to everything simply because they breathe air. Now, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the main foundations in life, their necessities, their teaching, their education, their guidance, these are things that we need to be sacrificial and give them what they need so they can profit in life. And when it came to Moses' parents, they were willing to die. They were willing to sacrifice their own safety for the safety of their son. The other thing we see here, of course they did not follow the king's commandment. They did not follow Pharaoh's commandment. So what else did they teach Moses through this experience? That God's laws are greater than man's laws. That God's authority is greater than the governing authorities. And so if God tells us, yay, and the government tells us, nay, we go with what God says, we go with yay. Or if God says, nay, and the government says, yay, we go nay, we go with what God says, regardless of what the king says. Parents, we need to teach our children to respect God's laws much higher than man's laws. You know, that the governments are there, they've got their place. They're meant to be God's servants on this earth, but many times governments get it wrong. And when they get it wrong, we follow what God has to say. And so that was a great teacher for Moses. Moses probably wondered, how did I survive? How did I make it as one of the Hebrew kids? Everybody else of my generation was put to death. How did I make it? Oh, your mom disobeyed government. Your mom disobeyed the Pharaoh. Oh, wow. I wonder why. You know, pro-life rather than pro-choice, right? Against abortion. Of course we're against abortion. Okay, and this is essentially what Pharaoh was trying to do. Let's kill the babies. And mom says, no, we're pro-life. God's given us this child. This child belongs to him. So God's laws above government laws. What else did we see in verse number 25? Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, rather than enjoy the pleasures of sin for a season. We need to warn our children against the pleasures of sin. First of all, we need to teach our kids that there is pleasure in sin. The reason we sin is cause we enjoy it. There's a season of enjoyment, but that season ends. You can go and say, I'm gonna disobey God for a season cause I enjoy it. But when that season ends, you'll regret it. When that season ends, you see the destruction your sin causes. The destruction the sin causes in your own personal life, the destruction that sin causes in those around you that you love and care for, the consequences of sins. You know, it's just, it's not worth it. That season of pleasure is not worth it. And we need to teach our children what is sinful. What does God say? What is right and what is wrong? If I'm gonna uphold God's laws above the government laws, I need to know what God has to say. And so we need to warn our children against sin. And in verse number 26, it says, esteem in the reproach of Christ, greater riches. Because if I suffer with Christ, if I suffer persecution for my faith, there's greater riches in this than the treasures in Egypt. For he had respect unto the recompense of the reward. You know what Moses says here? Oh man, I live in Egypt in the royal palace here. Man, there's a lot of earthly riches around me. All this gold, anything I want, I can have it as Pharaoh's grandson, basically, right? Adopted grandson. He says, you know what? No, I've learned that the eternal rewards, the eternal riches are my priority. That's vastly more superior, what is laid up for me in eternity, than what the treasures I can receive on this earth are. And so Moses made a decision to prioritize eternal riches above earthly riches. Let me ask you, where did he get this from? You think he was taught all of this in the Egyptian school? I don't know what kind of schooling they did back then. Do you think he learned this through Egyptian society? To honor the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, all right? Or was he taught about the Egyptian gods? Where did he get all of this? From his parents, at such an early age. The actions, the behavior, the honor, the safety, you know, the fact that it was sacrificial to protect their son. That resonated with him for the rest of his life. Those very early beginnings. Well yeah, he was able to enjoy Egypt for a period, but he says, you know what, it's just not worth it. Serving Christ is so much better. And so parents, we need to teach our children that things of eternal value have a higher priority in your life than things of a temple or carnal or earthly value, okay? The things in heaven, the treasures in heaven, the riches in heaven, they last forever. And we know that everything on this earth is gonna perish. It's all gonna burn, okay? It's all gonna be dissolved. And that's something, these are foundations in life that we need to teach our kids, okay? And this comes from, again, Moses' parents. This is what they taught him very early on, and he had lasting ramifications in his life as he matured and got older. Can you come with me to Ephesians six? Ephesians six, please. Ephesians six. Now, the corresponding sermon on this series was children obey your parents. And we look at Ephesians six many times for this teaching, and look, it's right, children ought to obey their parents, okay? Employees ought to obey their employers, right? Citizens ought to obey their governing authorities, et cetera, et cetera, all right? We understand that. But we also understand that many times the people in our authority are not easy to get along with. That's why God has that we're to obey our employers even if they're forward, even if they're difficult, even if they make your life a bit hard, the correct approach is still to obey them. But again, even though that's the truth, we're talking about those in authority now. Do you think it's gonna be easier? Let's say employers for a minute. If you're an employer, do you think it's easier for your employee to obey you if you're pleasant with them? If they enjoy your leadership and your encouragements, do you think that it'd be easier for them to obey that? Or if you're difficult with them? If you're putting them down, you know, you're making it excessively difficult, you'll constantly criticize them. When is it easier to obey them? Obviously, if you have a better relationship with that manager, with that employer. Well, you know, when it comes to the Bible in Ephesians 6, I want you to think about that. Ephesians 6, verse number two, this is for children. Honor thy father and mother, which is the first commandment we've promised, that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on the earth. All right. Now, if I'm a parent and I want the best for my kids, wouldn't I want my kids, wouldn't I want their things to be well with them? Don't I want them to live long on the earth? Like, I don't want them to pass away foolishly, drink drive-in at 18 years old or something, and they end their lives early. That would break my heart. That would destroy me. It would cause trauma in my life, right? But things happen, young people lose their lives constantly. You know, it's so sad when young people lose their lives so early. You know what, as a parent, I want my children to live long lives, and I want things to go well for them. Does that mean they'll never have problems? We all have problems. But even when they have problems, we want good to come out of that problem. We want things to turn out well for them. Even when things go hard, when things go badly, we want it to eventually end up well. You know, whether it's something they learn, some growth, some maturity, something that they learn about themselves, or a greater dependence on God through the tribulation that they've gone through. I want that. But notice, in order for them to have that life, they need to honor mother and father. So, I want that for them. So, it's gonna be easier for them to honor mom and dad if we're honorable, is my point, right? If we're these horrible parents, just constantly tearing down our children, constantly criticizing our kids, right? Just our life, our family life, just constant conflict and constant problems. Mom and dad constantly fighting, right? Setting a horrible example. Like the kids don't see mom and dad love each other. They don't see that. They see, they think mom and dad hate each other. They think mom and dad hates me, all right? That's gonna be harder for them, isn't it? To honor mom and dad. They're gonna think their parents are idiots. They're gonna wanna get out of the house as soon as possible, away from all the turmoil and problems that are in the house. And when they don't honor mother and father because of bad leadership, their life's gonna result. They're gonna miss out on these blessings. Well, things should go well for them to live a long life on the earth. You see, as an employer, you can make your employees obey much better if you build a good relationship with them, if you treat them fairly, okay? Well, mom and dad, it's easier for your kids to honor you if you are honorable parents, okay? If you raise them in a stable environment, all right? I mean, I know everybody has a decision to make, but it's very common that broken marriages simply happen because they've grown up in broken homes themselves, all right? And many times there are just generational problems. One broken home, another broken home, broken homes, you know, children outside of wedlock, and it's just this disaster, this consequence of sin that just keeps developing generation after generation. I want my kids to have a good marriage, right? To love their spouse. So I know as a dad, as a husband, I need to set an example and love my wife. I need to set an example even when things get hard, we're gonna find solutions together as a married couple. You know, we're not just gonna give up. We're not just going to be separated, and surely we're not gonna get divorced. We need to set a good example for our kids. We want our children to honor mum and dad, to honor that relationship, our parents. And look, we play a part in our children's ability to honor mum and dad. My children have honored me, thank God. So far, has there ever been difficulties? There's always difficulties in life. But overall, generally speaking, our children have honored mum and dad. And I hold on to the promise. Well, God, you tell me. You tell me that in your Bible, in your word, that they're gonna have a life that goes well. They're gonna live a good life, a long life, okay? It doesn't mean they're not gonna have problems, but Lord, I'm holding on to this promise. I've done my best as a dad, and I can be better, of course, I'm not perfect. But you know, I've done what I can as best I can, Lord, with what I have, and Lord, I hold on to this promise. I want my kids to do well in life. I better make sure I'm a good dad. I better make sure I got a good marriage. I gotta make sure that we're stable as a family. You know, that the parents are giving to their children for their best and for their profit, so they can go about and live that good life that God wants for them. Let's continue, verse number four, the Ephesians 6, verse number four. And your fathers, I don't know why it doesn't say mothers, but anyway, fathers, maybe we've got a problem with this. Provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, all right? You know, well, let's start with, let's talk about nurture for a minute. It says, bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We'll talk about wrath in a moment. The word nurture is where we get the word nourishment from. To nourish, right? This is why we wanna give our kids some good food, cause it's got good minerals, good vitamins for their growth and for the development, right? Well, we're trying to promote our children to grow, to mature, to develop, right? And so in order for them to be succeeding in life, we have to give them good instructions of life, right? It's not just academics, but we need to give them wisdom of how to conduct themselves in lives, how to live a life that pleases God and that is best for them. This is where that nurturing comes from, right? The training, the instructions, the teachings. You know, I won't get into turn there, but Colossians 3 21 says it another way. It says, fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged, lest they be discouraged. Now, when we talk about nurturing our kids and train our kids, our kids need both nurture and admonition, right? Admonition is to rebuke, all right? But it's not just rebuke and tell them when they're wrong, but it's to counsel them as to why they're wrong and what they should have done correctly, right? You did wrong and this is the right way to go about it though, right? And so what I learned by this is if we don't raise them in nurture and admonition, that we're gonna provoke our children to wrath. We're going to provoke our children to anger. Let me give you some examples of how this might work. If you're married, you know how hard it is to always be on the same page. And if you have had kids for a while, you'll learn, dad says no in this situation, but mom said yes in this situation. So when that pops up, I'm going to mom. It shouldn't be that way, but unless we're like clones of each other, husbands and wives, sometimes there's gonna be some inconsistencies, all right? Or the kids say, that's where dad's more lenient and mom's more strict, so I'm gonna go and ask dad. You know, one thing that I think about quite often is if my kids went to mom and they asked something, let's say she said no about whatever situation. She says no, but I would say yes. But Christina already said no and they come, dad, what do you reckon? What did mom say? No, okay, no. Even though I think yes, right? Because consistency is important. You know, when you have one voice as a couple, you know, it gives that stability in the children. The children won't learn how to play off one parent against another parent. That doesn't take long to learn, okay? But you know, what it does is when there's inconsistency and instability, it creates anger, creates wrath because the kids don't know where they stand or what they can do or at what times they can't do this or can do that. You know, it's important as parents that we have a one voice, we're meant to be one flesh as a married couple and that we give the same instructions to our children. You know, what else provokes our children to wrath? Like I said before, we're meant to admonish them. We're meant to correct them when they're wrong. But how about sometimes we might say, well, you're just an idiot. You always make this mistake. You never do anything right. How do you think a child's going to respond with that kind of approach? They're gonna think, man, I can't do anything for my, I'm a failure, I'm horrible. Dad thinks I'm scum of the earth. You know, my dad hates me, my mom hates me. We speak to them in that way. So when we admonish and we correct, we need to make sure we do it gently, we do it lovingly, we do it for their profit so they can see mom and dad are actually trying to help me. Right, like I'm right now, my twins are learning how to drive and sometimes I make a mistake. And like, ah, did you see that? Yeah, what do you think happened in that situation? Like they're driving, I can't just, oh, you're horrible. You're the one that could crash. I get nervous when you make, you know, when you learn to drive, you make a mistake and you get nervous and then, you know, because you're not thinking clearly, you can cause another accident or something like that, right, make another. You know, that's how I think about raising kids. It's like they're driving their lives and if all you're doing is rebuking them and causing anguish and stress always, then their life is just gonna be a disaster. They're gonna think they're just horrible people. You know, or they'll hate you. They'll get to a certain age and they'll say, I hate my parents. They never loved me. They always put me down. But when I go out, my friends love me. Their friends might be a bad influence on them, by the way. We don't know. These people love me. My parents hate me. And before you know it, they're gonna start seeking the direction of the world. See, parents, we're not to provoke our children to wrath. Something else that I think about when it comes to wrath, we all get angry, don't we? It doesn't take much. A little child, if you have a little child, you know this is true. They've got their toy and then another child from the church turns up and grabs that toy off them. Or maybe not even off them. It's next to them. They're not even playing with it. And the little child comes and picks up that toy. Ah, it's my toy. It doesn't take long for children to get angry. So we need to teach our kids how to handle their anger. All right, we need to teach our kids, look, anger in of itself is not sinful, but we need to be slow to anger, right? We need to have control of our emotions. You know, when you hear your kids, your children say to another sibling, you're an idiot, you're stupid. You need to fix that ASAP. Otherwise they're gonna go into the real world and they're gonna call their work colleagues stupid and idiots. And they're gonna get fired. And their life is not gonna go well. We need to teach our children how to control their anger. All right, because everyone gets angry from time to time. It also said like in Colossians 3.21, it said, father's provoking your children to wrath lest they be discouraged. We don't wanna discourage our kids. And my kids are probably thinking right now, dad, there's been times you have discouraged me, right? Dad, there have been times you've made me angry. Yeah, we're all human beings, right? I'm not teaching Pastor Kevin's standard of living. We're teaching God's word, which is higher than anybody's standard of living, okay? So everybody has an area of life that they need to fix, myself included. Otherwise I'd be at God's level and forget about that. Okay, I'm nowhere near God's level. But we learned that we don't wanna discourage our children. We want them to feel like, yes, you should have looked right when you went on that roundabout, whatever it is, right? You should have indicated, you should have stopped at the stop sign. But don't worry, you'll do it next time. Just remember next time, right? Not like, ah, see, you're the worst. I'm not gonna teach you anymore. No, you're not gonna discourage your kids. You wanna be an encouragement, point out their faults and say, but you can do it. You know, you can drive from A to B. You can have that confidence and I know you can do it. All right, and when they drive, whoa, good job. When they've maneuvered an intersection properly, well done. When they've changed lanes and they did it safely and you saw them look and good work. We wanna be able to encourage our kids, not cause them discouragement. The other thing I think is very important that we, because even though we try not to discourage our kids, our kids will get discouraged in life. We all get discouraged in life. Don't we, we all get discouraged in life. But what is a man of value or a woman of value? Someone that gets discouraged and says, you know what? I'm gonna move forward anyway. You know, I've been betrayed, but I'm gonna keep moving forward anyway. I've been backstabbed, but I'm gonna keep moving forward anyway. I've been falsely accused, but I'm gonna keep going anyway. All right, I had a hard day at work today, but I'm gonna turn up to work tomorrow anyway. We're gonna also teach our kids that when discouragement comes, all right, you don't just stay ballin' and cry yourself to tears. You gotta pick yourself up. And the best one that encourages you is a Lord. When I get discouraged, I'm like, Lord, can you encourage me? Lord, can you motivate me? Lord, can you pick me up and push me forward so I don't fail, so I don't give up? We need to teach our kids how to overcome discouragement. Oh, someone said something rude to me. Let's teach our kids to have some thick skin. Get used to it. People say horrible things. One of my favorite things that I did, my kids, my boys don't like it, but I just felt it was of value when I put them into the soccer team. And when they're young, it's all good, but as they get older, you know, the filth that comes out of the mouths of football players, soccer players, or the opposing team, and they start playing a game, well, we're gonna crush you. You know, we're going to destroy you guys. And my sons were like, man, they don't even wanna turn up. And it's like, no, you gotta fight anyway. When the people are trying to tear you down, they're trying to get under your skin. You go, you know what? I'm gonna play as hard as I can anyway. Win, draw or lose. You know, I'm not gonna get discouraged. I'm gonna put my foot forward and give my best no matter what. Parents, we need to teach our kids to just pick themselves up and not get discouraged every time someone says something horrible to them, because that's life. People are constantly saying something horrible about you. That's life. So you better be able to move on and carry yourself forward. Come with me to Proverbs 13. Proverbs 13, please. Proverbs 13. This is the one that's very unpopular in today's society. Proverbs 13 and verse number 24. Proverbs 13, 24. He that spareth his rod, hateth his son, but hear that love of him, chasteneth him betimes. The Bible's speaking about the rod of correction. You know, there are times that you need to take out that rod or that belt or that wooden spoon or whatever it is that you use, right? And you need to sometimes lovingly give your child a bit of a whooping. And when you say, no, I'm not gonna do it, I'm gonna do super nanny instead, five minute timeouts or whatever it is, right? Or I'm taking away your privileges of ice cream this afternoon or something like that, right? When you spare the rod, the Bible says you hate your son. But hear that love of him, I love my kids by the way, chasteneth him betimes. Betimes means early, all right? So when they're, you know, three years old and they steal the cookie from the cookie jar, they're gonna get the rod early. I'm not gonna wait for them to be 18 and they rob a bank and then I'll take out the rod. It's too late. They're not gonna learn by then. You know, they're not going to understand by then there are consequences to their bad decisions. You know what, when that child steals the cookie and you apply the rod, they're going to understand as they grow up, man, if I rob that bank, I'm gonna face a bigger rod than this. And so I'm not gonna rob the bank, right? You chase them early in life. You know, as your kids grow up and they get older, they don't need as much correction because they learn. They know where the boundaries are. They know if I do that, it's gonna hurt my bottom. I don't want to deal with that, right? And some will say, no, no, no, I'm not gonna apply the rod because I just love my kids too much. No, you hate your kids. According to God, you hate your kids when you do that. Let me explain this to you. I think I speak for all parents. When it's time to take out that rod, it doesn't feel good. It's not like, woo-hoo, I just can't wait. I just can't wait to pick up the belt and apply some pain on their bottoms or something like that, right? It's not like that. Your natural inclination is like, I don't want to do this. It's miserable for them and it's miserable for me. All right, but I'm gonna push back, push all those things back because I love my kids and they need to learn. They need to learn there are consequences to disobeying mom and dad. It's not what I want. And I know it's definitely not what they want, but I know God tells me that this is the right thing to do. God knows children better than I do. God knows training better than I do. God knows the human nature better than I do. And so I'm gonna take that rod and I'm going to apply it. Come with me to Proverbs 23. Proverbs 23 verse 13. And by the way, what I'm preaching right now might sound controversial, but it wasn't controversial 20 years ago, 30 years ago. Maybe it was controversial 20 years ago. It definitely was not controversial 50 years ago. And it wasn't controversial hundreds of years ago. And it wasn't controversial thousands of years ago. You don't have to be a Bible believing Christian to know the right thing to do is take out that rod and apply it. There are people across this world in false religion, probably never read the Bible in their lives that pull out their rod when their children do wrong. They don't even need God's instructions here. They know it's the right thing to do. And it's been the right thing to do for thousands of years. We just, we live in a strange time where when you do the right thing, they tell you you're doing the wrong thing. You do good, they say it's wicked. Well, Proverbs 23, 13 says, withhold not correction from the child for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Now, if you're beating your kids to the point of death, then you're not doing all right, okay? Applying the rod is not like, I'm about to die here, okay? Verse 114, thou shall beat him with the rod and shall deliver his soul from hell. From hell. We can apply this in two ways. Let's talk about the literal hell, okay? Why do people go to hell? Because they disobey God and they chose not to put their trust on Jesus Christ. In fact, they put their trust on their own selves, on their own sinful condition. I think I'm good enough. They don't understand the consequences of the decision. You know, when you got saved and someone shared the gospel with you and said, this is your way out of hell. This is what gives you salvation. This is what makes you a child of God. This guarantees you heaven, eternal life. You know, and you may say, you know what? Yeah, man, I don't wanna face the consequences of hell. I don't wanna face the consequences of facing God on judgment day in my sins. And so I choose eternal life. I choose Jesus Christ. Why? Because they've been taught there are consequences to wrong decisions. And they learn that supposedly, the best way to learn that is while you're young. If I choose wrong, if I do wrong, there are consequences. And we live in a generation where people don't think there are consequences to their actions. So you do in many ways, cause them to think and understand of the damage that can happen in their lives and their eternity should they disobey the God, the creator of all things. Another way to interpret this verse, you apply the rod and you deliver him from hell. It's like you're delivering them from just hell on earth, destroying their lives, miserable lives, damaging lives. Okay, you apply that rod, right? And they know, okay, I need to walk rightly. I've got to make the right calls in life. You know, when the drugs are offered to me, I've already got told my parents know that's damaging to me. And I'm not gonna fake, cause I know there are consequences to alcoholism. I know there are consequences to drug abuse. I know there are consequences to fornicating. I know there are consequences in life. And I'm not going to do it. I'm gonna walk faithfully in the righteousness of Christ. So you save their life from a life of hell as it were as well. You can apply it that way as well if you want. But boy, you need to apply the rod, parents. And I know it's not easy to do, but it's what God asks us to do. Raising kids is not easy. When has it ever been easy? It's a lot of work. That's why it's the parents for the children. Parents, you're laying up, you're being sacrificial for your kids. Now, is it possible to apply the rod incorrectly? Yes. I believe you can go too far. Absolutely. There are times I've disappointed my kids with the rod and I made a mistake where it wasn't their fault. And so when it happens, you got to learn how to apologise to your kids. Sorry. There are times that I've wanted to apply the rod, but I've seen the broken condition on my kids and they regret. And because I saw that, I thought, you know what? Now it's time to apply a bit of mercy because God is merciful too. God is long suffering too. And I've learnt it in the years when I've disobeyed God, but I've come to him with a broken and contrite heart and I've sought his mercy, he's been merciful. So I said, you know what? I want to be like that to my kids too. Okay. But if you're like always mercy, no wrong. Right? You need to teach your kids and apply that rod. All right, let's move on. Let's go to Proverbs 22. Proverbs 22 and verse number six. The Bible says, train up a child in the way he should go. And when he is old, he will not depart from it. Is this a true verse? Is this true? Train up your child in the way he should go. And when he is old, he will not depart from it. I believe it's true. In fact, as I raised my kids, I think about this to the Lord, Lord, this is what you promised me. If I do it right, they're gonna end up fine when they're old. Maybe in the teenage and early adolescent years, they might go a bit wayward, but as they get older, as they get old, they'll know the right ways. They'll know, right? Like everyone goes through a bit of a rebellious period or not everybody, but you know what? They'll know the right ways. Like everyone goes through a bit of a rebellious period or not everybody, but you know, generally speaking, we see that happen. I believe this is true, but do I sometimes come across parents who have older kids in life and like pastor, I took my kids to church. I took them to youth group. I, we taught them the Bible. We did this, we did that with them and we trained them godly. Why is a pastor that my three kids, whatever it is, I'm just, they're all out of church. Why is that? Why is it that they're all living like the world? Why is it that they're all just sleeping around and fornicating? What about this promise that you train them, train up a child on the way he should go and when he's old, he will not depart from it? Cause training, it's the nurture and admonition of the Lord, right? I've seen it in my own life. I've seen teenagers grow up in church. Seemingly, they all look good in church, but they get out in the world, they just hate their parents. Happens, all right? So the thing about this verse, it's true, but it's not true on its own, all right? It's true within the context of all the child rearing instructions that God gives us. So what I mean by this is sometimes, and I don't want to say too much cause I'm not trying to attack anybody. I'm really not, but I'm trying to warn people. Sometimes there are parents that raise their kids, we have the Bible, we've instructed, good, good instructions, good Bible, but almost in a militant way. Like there is no liberty, there is liberty in Christ Jesus, not limited to sin. That's where we, no, don't sin. But there are choices, there are freedoms we have in life, okay? But I've seen in independent fundamental Baptist or other fundamental style churches where kids can't even move, they're so afraid. Christina knows what I'm talking about. A little baby drops a cup and there's mom and dad, bang, smack, I'm pulling the rod of correction. It's a little baby. And then the parent picks up the cup and guess what happens? The parent drops it. I'm thinking, who's going to smack you? Kids drop things, but they grow up in such a regimented, you know, strict, and look, I'm all forced being strict. I think most people think I'm a strict as a parent. But it's like, no love. I'm using real examples. You go on holidays, but don't forget the homeschooling. So no, holidays is for fun. Let's go have some fun. You know what fun is, mom and dad? Because if mom and dad, if I don't have fun with you, then I'm going to go find fun in the world. All right, look, we homeschool. We're quite strict, all right? We're careful with how our kids spend their time. All right, but we want them to enjoy their life. We want our kids to look back in their childhood and say, man, I had fun as a kid. Yeah, there were 12 of us, but we had fun just running around, you know, and teasing each other and playing pranks on each other, whatever it is, right? You know, we had fun. Yeah, it was a strict environment, but we enjoyed it. Yeah, we learned the Bible. Yeah, we went to church, but we also sometimes just enjoyed our time together as a family and we did this and we did that. And I can look back with fond memories. Well, I tell you in that scenario, as your child grows up, they're not going to depart from what they got taught as a child. Again, could they have some wayward years? Yes, pretty much everybody has that to some extent, but this is what I've observed. The children grow up with good biblical teaching and church, church and Bible and strictness and you can't do anything, you can't move, or you're going to get disciplined. And they have a miserable childhood. They hate their lives, you know? They can't wait to just get right out of there. I've got to get out of here. They're not, yeah, when they get old, they're going to find themselves in a lot of destructive ways. So we need to be able to apply all of the Bible with child rearing. And when we apply it properly and holistically, then Proverbs 22, verse number six is true. Train up a child in the way he should go. And when he is old, he will not depart from it, okay? If your child grows up miserable, or they just think mom and dad, they don't love each other. They seem to hate each other, okay? Look, those children, they're going to rebel. They're going to rebel as they get older, okay? Can you come with me to, let's see, you're in Proverbs, let's go to Proverbs 13. I better hurry up. I'm going to skip one of my points, but Proverbs 13, please, Proverbs 13 and verse number 22. Proverbs 13 and verse number 22. The Bible reads in Proverbs 13, 22, a good man leaveth an inheritance to his children's children, and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just. All right, the last point I have for you parents is leave an inheritance for your children's children. Leave an inheritance for your children's children. Now the first application, of course, he speaks of the wealth of the sinner, laid up for the just, is the financials. The wealth, okay, the prosperity. You know what this is teaching us? As parents, we need to be good stewards with the finances and the wealth and the possessions that God gives us. God doesn't want us to just earn our weekly paycheck and for it to just be blown all that week. It comes in and it's gone. God wants you, expects you. This is what a good man does. A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children. The reason it says children's children is commonly, like for example, if my parents were to pass away, I'm not really gonna benefit from their inheritance. Like I'm already 40, I'm pretty established in my life. The ones that are really gonna benefit from are probably our kids. Like, you know, something for them to get their adulthood life started. Generally speaking, that's kind of how it is. You don't really, you kind of benefit more from your grandparents' inheritance than you do your own parents' inheritance, as a general rule, okay, as a general rule. But the idea here is don't be wasteful with what God gives you. Teach your children good financial management. Oh, you're one of these prosperity preachers always talking about money. It's a part of our life. I use money every single day of my life, every single day of my life. Money gets spent or something like that, right? So as a believer, as one of God's children, is this not an area of my life that I need to apply biblical principles? And say, God, this is yours. My paycheck, this is yours. My possessions, Lord, this is yours. How do you want me to manage these affairs? And God says a good man leaves an inheritance for his children's children. God says, look, what I give you should be able to last at least down a few generations. So if you're just wasting it all, boy, you need to change. Say, pastor, isn't the eternal rewards of a higher priority? Of course they are. Of course they are. In fact, you can apply this to spiritual as well. Say, pastor, I'm a poor man. I'm well beyond my age to leave something for my kids. What can I do? Well, you can leave them a spiritual inheritance. You can teach them, hey, the treasures in heaven are what matters. And sometimes when my kids can't do X, Y, or Z because of financial reasons, I can say to my kids, but we're serving the Lord. You know, I am the pastor. But you know, to be a pastor requires a sacrificial wife and requires sacrificial kids. To go, Dad, even though we miss out on this and that, but we want you to be a pastor. Do you think I'm gonna be the only one that receives rewards in heaven or the ones that gave me the ability to do so? So yeah, we are laying up treasure in heaven, an inheritance for my children and my children's children. Amen, all for that. And if you don't have the resources and the financial ability to leave something earthly for your kids, fine. You can leave them something spiritual. You got no excuse to not leave them a spiritual inheritance, to win your children to the Lord, that they can then lead their children to the Lord. And Lord willing, I don't know, I don't know how many generations that can go down, but at least your children's children can benefit from your labors. But the first application, of course, is speaking of earthly wealth, okay? And look, if I'm laying up anything, if I invest in anything, it's really not to my benefit in the long run. Ultimately, if I can leave something for my kids and my kids' kids, they can benefit from, obviously that's gonna be able to help them in life. You know, especially if things continue, where there's a, you know, what do they call it? A living crisis, what do they call it? Cost of living crisis, you know? Maybe they have something that can be left over for them to help them in life. You know, like my parents, they helped us with our initial deposit on our first house. It's a bit of an early inheritance. Helped us? You know, am I living in some mansion? Am I driving some Lamborghini or something? Like, no, I don't care for those things. Don't care for earthly riches, or what people have to say about what you drive or what you wear. Man, my clothes are all falling apart by the way, brethren. I got these shoes given to me by someone in church. Thank you. All right. But that's what a just man does. We need to teach our kids that we don't just spend everything that we have. We've got to teach our kids everything we have belongs to the Lord. Lord, how do I take care of these things? How can I bless my children? How can I bless my children's children? Lord, it's not just me and my obsessions and my waste. No, it's you've given me this because it's supposed to last a couple of generations at the very least. So parents, title of the sermon was the parents for the children. And it said in second Corinthians 12, 14, for the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children. Now, of course, I'll just end on this. As parents get older, your mental honor mother and father as they get elderly, we know that our bodies break down. Mentally, we can break down and it's good for your children to be there, you know, to help the parents along. I'm not, we're not saying that's wrong. That's actually the righteous thing to do. There's plenty of instruction in the Bible for that. But as a general rule of thumb, right? Parents, we ought to be sacrificial to our kids. We've got to lead our kids. We've got to teach our kids. We've got to take it that rod, even when it's hard to do sometimes. It's to give them wisdom, instruction. We need to help them be able to honor mom and dad so things can go well for them and they can live a long life. All right, brethren, let's pray.