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Okay, so Song of Solomon, chapter 5, look at verse number 16. His mouth is most sweet, yea, he is altogether lovely, this is my beloved, and this is my friend. The title for the sermon tonight is, This is My Friend. This is my friend. This is the wife. Speaking to the daughters of Jerusalem, speaking to her friends, you'll soon see that this is actually a dream. A dream sequence that she's having. But I love the fact that she calls her beloved, her husband, her friend. You see, marriage is not a competition, we're not in competition with our spouse. She ought to be, or for me, from my perspective, my wife ought to be my friend. Okay, and friends, you know, you stick by one another, that's what friendship is. You know, you're not going to be exactly the same. You know, there are differences amongst friends. In fact, I find the friends that have the most differences to me, the most interesting friends. You know, when I think about what a friend is, you know, if I was on the same page with you about everything, if we had exactly the same beliefs, to the modest detail, right, and we just had the same interest about everything in life, that would be quite a boring friendship. Because what do we have to talk about? We're exactly the same about everything. What's the point? In fact, the most interesting friendships that I've discovered over the years are where we have differences of opinions. We see things a little bit differently. And that's, for me, what makes friendship quite exciting, is to be able to learn from someone else and also be someone that can instruct a friend. But let's start there in verse number 1, Song of Solomon chapter 5. In fact, actually, before we look at verse number 1, please just go back with me to chapter number 4 very quickly. Song of Solomon chapter 4 verse number 12, you may recall that the wife here was being described as an enclosed garden. It says here in verse number 12, a garden, chapter 4 verse number 12, a garden enclosed is my sister, my spouse, a spring shut up, a fountain sealed. And so his wife was this garden that's just for him and him alone. And, of course, talking about the intimacy of marriage. And so when you get to chapter number 5, verse number 1, it says there once again, I come into my garden, my sister, my spouse, once again, reinforcing the fact that his spouse is a sister, that she's saved. She's a sister in the Lord, but she's, of course, his spouse. It's his garden, no one else's garden. And, of course, just speaking about verse number 1 there, it's talking about the intimacy, once again, that physical intimacy between husband and wife. Then it says, I have gathered my myrrh with my spice. So before he's gone into the garden, that intimate relationship, he says, look, I've put on the myrrh, I've put on the spice. And he's put on the perfume. And, you know, I know it's a song, I know there's repetition, you know, that's how songs are. But the fact that this has been repeated over and over again, the husband tries to smell nice for his wife. And, look, this is the description of a man. This is manliness. Manliness is not just how much can I stink up the joints. And I know how bad men can smell. You know, I have my boys who play soccer, and they go training, right? And then they go and train, and I go and pick them up before church. They smell horrible. I used to, man, because they're teenagers now, right? So they've changed. Their bodies have changed, and I got the body odor, and I picked them up, and we're on the way to church. Oh, man, the van stinks, right? The van stinks, but, you know, men, we've got to be careful about that, right? Look, he wants to spend time in the garden. He wants to have that intimate relationship with his wife. And so what's he do? He puts on the spice. He puts on the myrrh. You know, make sure that he smells pleasant before he goes and spends time with his wife. He says, I've eaten my honeycomb with my honey. I have drunk my wine with my milk. Of course, this is speaking about his relationship with his wife. Then he says quite these interesting words. He says, Eat, O friends, drink, yea, drink abundantly, O beloved. You see, why are the friends being mentioned there? Drink my wine with my milk. Eat, O friends, why is that? You know, obviously we already saw, and I wanted to show you earlier, that, you know, his wife is in an enclosed garden. Please don't misunderstand what's happening here. Of course, if you understand the Song of Solomon, as we've been reading on chapter by chapter, you'll understand why the friends are being involved in this verse. So just to bring you back up to speed, why is it that friends are being mentioned here? If you can go back to chapter number 2, Song of Solomon chapter 2 and verse number 4, what part do these friends, these other people, have to do with the relationship here? Song of Solomon chapter 2 and verse number 4, you may recall that Solomon had prepared a banquet, a feast for his wife. It says in Song of Solomon chapter 2 verse number 4, the wife speaking, he says, He brought me into the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love. You may recall that, hey, the husband here had put on a party, put on a banquet, a great feast. Just to celebrate his love for his wife. You know, why are we celebrating Solomon? We're celebrating my wife. We're celebrating our love is what's happening there. Go to chapter 3 now, Song of Solomon chapter 3 verse number 11. Song of Solomon chapter 3 verse number 11, it says, Go forth, O ye daughters of Zion, and behold, King Solomon with the crown, with his mother crowned him in the day of his espousals. That's his wedding day. And the day of the gladness of his heart, we saw that Solomon, he is celebrating his wedding anniversary. And again, the daughters are being mentioned. The daughters are like, hey, have a look at our celebration. Have a look how we're celebrating our wedding anniversary. And the truth that I took out of there, Reverend, was that if you're married, celebrate your anniversary. Please take your spouse out, make it a special occasion. Go and celebrate this great day of your union. And of course, many times when it comes to wedding anniversary, you may again invite the friends. You may, hey, come to the wedding anniversary. We're having a celebration. Come to our house and enjoy. And what we're celebrating is our love one to another. And so when we get to chapter number 5, by now you should understand that this couple has no problem expressing their love to other people. For other people to know how they celebrate, they love one another, and you know, it's a time of celebration. And so when we get to Solomon chapter 5 or number 1, it makes sense that the friends are there. Hey, drink. It's like another banquet. We're celebrating our love. We're celebrating our anniversary or something like that. And I think these things are good. Sometimes maybe put it on a little surprise birthday for your spouse. And not letting them know that you're inviting friends and family to come and celebrate their life. And of course, this is a sign of love. You know, I do believe very strongly that our love, our spouse, our marriage ought to be something that we don't hide. You know, that we're quite public about it. That, you know, I'm not ashamed to say that I love my wife. I'm not ashamed of that. I'm not ashamed of you guys knowing that I love my wife. That's good. That's healthy. That's what we need to hear. It's not, oh, this is my wife. You know, no, this is good. She's my life. You know, we're one flesh. We ought to enjoy one another and let other people know that, you know, our love is genuine and you can have that same love too in marriage. And so, you know, marriage is such an important thing, such an important institution. You find it in chapter 1 of the Bible. And then God tells us chapter 2, in Genesis chapter 2, the greater detail of how this marriage took place. It's so important to God that it's the very first thing you read about when it comes to the Bible. You know, this union between husband and wife. And so, you know, celebrate your love. Celebrate your wedding anniversaries. Invite people to the birthdays, to the wedding anniversary, whatever it is. You know, when we have a wedding, we have a reception sometimes, a celebration. Invite people to come and enjoy and celebrate the love that you have toward one another. Alright, let's go to verse number 2. Song of Solomon chapter 5, verse number 2. Now, as we keep reading this, I do believe the rest of the chapter is a dream sequence. Now, you could say at some point she wakes up out of the dream. I'm not sure. I'm not really sure exactly, but it seems to me that the whole chapter is just this big dream that she has. Because in verse number 2 it says, I sleep. This is the wife speaking. But my heart waketh. That's kind of dreaming, right? Like, your body's asleep, but you're still having these thoughts. You know, your mind and your heart, they're still alert. They're still making you think about certain things and you have these dreams. What does she dream about? It says here, it is the voice of my beloved that knocketh. So, she starts dreaming that she's on the bed and that her beloved husband's knocking on the door. He's outside of the house saying, open to me, my sister, my love, my dove, my undefiled. For my head is filled with dew and my locks with the drops of the night. So, it's nighttime. He's out there, outside. I guess it's been raining. That's why he's all wet. His head's filled with dew. His locks, drops of the night. He goes, hey, honey, can you open up? I'm trying to come inside. It's wet. He's outside. Now, this is why I'm kind of like sort of surprised. I mean, I'm sure he's got a way to get into the house. I'm sure he's got his own keys or whatever methods they had back in these days. I don't know what they used exactly. Okay, but you can definitely see that she's dreaming about this. Now, why is she dreaming this situation? If you can go back to chapter 3, go to Song of Solomon chapter 3. You'll see some similarities with what happened in chapter 3. Now, chapter 3 is not a dream. Chapter 3 is what really happened. Okay, Song of Solomon chapter 3, verse number 1. Song of Solomon chapter 3, verse number 1, it says, By night on my bed I sought him, whom I so loveth. I sought him, but I found him not. So this one day she wakes up at night. She realized, hey, my husband's not here. You know, he's not in bed with me. And then verse number 2, I will rise now and go about the city and the streets. And in the broadways I will seek him, whom I so loveth. I sought him, but I found him not. So she goes in the city, hey, where's my husband? Where's the king? Where's King Solomon? She can't find him. So then in verse number 3, she kind of goes to the police of those days, if you want, to call it that. The watchmen that go about the city found me, to whom I said, Saw ye him whom I so loveth? Because have you seen the king? Have you seen my husband? All right, verse number 4. It was but a little that I passed from them, but I found him whom I so loveth. She finally found her husband. I held him and would not let him go until I had brought him into my mother's house and into the chamber of her that conceived me. So she has a great love, a great desire to be with her husband. She finally found him, finds him. She's like, come on, come home. All right, let's go to my mother's house. And, you know, they spend time in intimacy in that chapter there. Now, when we get to chapter 5, she starts having a dream. And it's kind of similar. Like, what you read about chapter 5 is kind of similar of what took place in chapter 3. And so, you know, that's what dreams usually are, right? Usually it's things that you've experienced, thoughts that you've had, things that you've seen. And then you go to sleep and your brain is still kind of thinking about those things, still processing those things, and you kind of start having those dreams during the night. Now, this dream starts to become a nightmare as we keep going through the chapter. So let's go back there in chapter 5 and verse number 3. So, again, bringing you back up to speed. The husband's outside knocking on the door. It's raining, it's wet. Let me in, beloved. And look how she responds, because this is not a natural response. Like, based on what we know about her in chapter 3, where she would just go out and look for her husband. Look at verse number 3, how she responds in verse number 3. She says, I have put off my coat. How shall I put it on? She goes, look, I took off my coat when I went to bed. I don't really feel like putting it back on. Like, to go and open the door for my husband. I have washed my feet. How shall I defile them? I've just had a shower. I'm getting ready to get up. My feet are going to get dirty as I walk out there. You know, it's been raining. It's probably muddy outside. I don't want to get my feet dirty. So she's like, man, I'm comfortable in bed. I'm lazy. I kind of want to rest. I don't want to get up. That's kind of strange. Like, if your spouse is trying to get in the door, honey, come on, it's raining. Let me in. It's like, oh, I'm just in bed. I don't really feel like doing this. It's not a normal response, is what I'm trying to say. It's definitely not how she responded in chapter number three. So what's happening here is a dream. But even though it's a dream, you know, there's been nights like this where I'm just so tired, I'm just in bed, and there's like a noise. And my wife's like, did you hear that noise? I'm like, yeah, but I don't care. If someone's breaking into the house, just let them break in. I'm just too tired to care. Yeah, but that's kind of her response in this dream. So she's not keen on opening the door. And then verse number four. My beloved put in his hand by the hole in the door. He's trying to get in. Some type of hole in the door, I guess, to unlock. She hears the fact that his hand's in there, and then it says, and my bowels were moved for him. So finally she has compassion. All right, better let him in. He's trying to get in, trying to get in, and she goes, okay, now I feel like helping him to come in. Now, what this should draw our thoughts toward is a situation, and I'll get you to turn there, please. Keep your finger there and go to Revelation chapter three. Go to Revelation chapter three. I don't know about you, but this dream sequence reminds me a lot about what Christ said about a church. In Revelation chapter three and verse number 20, this is the church of the lay of the Saiyans. And please don't have this crazy dispensational understanding of these churches, that these are all different ages, churches of different ages. And then they say one of the churches of the Roman Catholic Church, that's ridiculous. All seven churches in the book of Revelation are true churches of Jesus Christ. They had problems. They had problems, of course. And Christ would call out those problems. They had to fix those things. And of course the church in Laodicea had some major problems. All right? And this is what Jesus Christ says about the church in Revelation chapter three, verse number 20. He says, Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to him. Isn't that a crazy thought? That Jesus Christ could be saying about a church that I'm outside the doors. I'm standing outside. I'm knocking. Hey guys, can you let me in to the church service? This kind of reminds me of the dream sequence. The husband wants to come in. Let me in. And she's like, I'm too tired. I'm too lazy. I have to put my coat on. I just washed my feet. It's too much of a nuisance for me to go to the door and open to my beloved. Again, we read these things about the churches. I'm not here to just criticize churches. The point of these things being in the Bible is that our church can become like this. Our church can become about anything else but Jesus Christ. It can become a social gathering. It's just about coming together and seeing my mates. Look, if you've got friends in church and you're excited to see your friends for fellowship, that's good and proper. That's right. That's a good thing for church. It's not a social party, an event, and we forget about Jesus. We don't even preach in the Bible anymore. You guys know that there are churches. They don't even preach in the Bible. They won't even open the Bible. They'll open one verse and then the preacher will preach. It's not even about Christ. It's just the wisdom of man. Churches can become like this. The Church of Laodicea became like this. And Christ says, look, I'm outside. Let me in. I want to be part of the service. I mean, church is about Christ. The church is the body of Christ. How can you have the body of Christ without Christ there in the midst? You see, the Church of Laodicea had some major problems. But the people, I guess, like the wife in this dream, oh, we're comfortable. I don't put my coat on and let Jesus in. You know, we're enjoying the way we are, Jesus. We need to let you in. We're having a good time. I'm relaxed at church and that's what it is, isn't it? These kinds of churches that are without Christ, they're just relaxed church. Everything goes. Who cares? We won't preach hard. We won't preach the truth. We'll just give everybody a pat on the back and everyone can feel good about themselves. You know, take it easy. God's not mad at you. And look, that's how, again, symbolically, that's what she represents, that laziness, comfortable. I don't want to open the door to my beloved. Because if you let the beloved in, if you let Jesus in, then you're going to, of course, receive the hard sayings, the hard truths of Jesus Christ, the chastisement. You know, Christ was full of mercy, full of grace, full of love. Of course he was. Laid down his life for believers, but he also taught some hard truths. Jesus Christ also came with a sword. He brought division when he came. You know, that's what church is going to do. You know, when you preach God's word, it's going to be hard-hitting. It's going to rip your face from time to time. It's going to make you feel a little bit uncomfortable. Yeah, it's probably going to tell you, hey, get out of bed, put on your coat and open up the door, potentially. Go and do something. That's what church should be about, preaching. Not just hearing doctrine, but go and do something. Hey, wife, wake up. Go open the door to your husband. You know, he wants to come inside. You know, Jesus Christ wants to be in our church. He is in our church. Okay, he is here. His presence is here. You know, even though there's not many of us here tonight, Christ is here. That's what matters. That we come to be in his presence. We come to hear his word. We come to hear what he has to teach us. As the time goes on in our walk. So let's be careful. And of course, look. Let's say it's the only church you've got in your area. It's a little bit lukewarm. Okay, it's a little bit like, you know, Christ is outside of the doors. What I like about this verse in Revelation chapter 3, verse 20. Let's read it again. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. So the church is a problem. But then he says this. Listen, just you. Just you alone. If any man hear my voice and open the door, I will come into him and will sup with him and hear with me. Listen, you know what? You might be in a bad church. You might be in one day, I don't know, hopefully not this church. You might be in a church and you go, man, this church is lukewarm. This church, I don't know, is Jesus even here? But you know what? You individually, you can say, you know what, even if my church is not going the way I want it to go, I can have fellowship with Jesus. I can sup with him. I can let him in. I can walk with Christ. Because Christ at the end of the day is not just, and of course he loves the church, but he also loves every individual in that church. He wants to be in fellowship with each one of us. So let that be a reminder that, you know, if you're trying to live out a Christian life, you're trying to be in fellowship with Jesus, it can't just be church attendance. You must have your own personal walk with Christ as you serve him, as you love him. And you let him in. Let him in. Into the church. Let him into your house. I mean, I don't know about you, but would you be embarrassed to let Jesus into your house? To show him what you've got in your house? How you entertain yourself? Here you go, Jesus. Here's my DVD collection of movies. You know, pick out a movie that we can watch together. I don't know, would you have that courage? Would you have that boldness to say such things to Jesus? You know, we are to let him into our life and be in fellowship with him one to another. All right, back to Song of Solomon, chapter 5. And verse number 5. So she finally feels compassionate, right? He's trying to come into the house. She goes in verse number 5. I rose up to open to my beloved and my hands dropped with myrrh and my fingers with sweet smelling myrrh. So again, she's perfumed. She's smelling nice for him. Upon the handles of the lock I opened to my beloved but my beloved had withdrawn himself and was gone. My soul failed when he spake. I saw him but I could not find him. I caught him but he gave me no answer. Have you ever had a dream like this? Like this dream is thrown into a nightmare. Have you ever had a dream where you're like, oh yeah, this is happening. And then it's like, oh, it's gone. Like that's what's happening, right? Oh yeah, I'm going to open to my beloved and then she opens and he's not there. He's gone. And now she's like, oh man, where's he gone? Again, this kind of reminds us of the story in chapter 3 where she's going out and seeking her beloved. So this dream starts to become a nightmare. You know, we learn an interesting truth here is that when Christ wants the way to work in us there are opportunities that God gives us. He gives us his Holy Spirit. He gives us direction in life. He gives us an opportunity to serve him. Hey, brethren, when you get the opportunity you better take it. Take it. Because you might lose it. Christ might no longer be using you in that capacity to not use it. You know, the Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5 verse 19 quench not the Spirit. Quench. What does it mean to quench? It's like, you know, to distinguish what's the word I'm looking for? Distinguish, yeah. Like, you know, if there's a fire and you're to quench that fire you're to throw this water and let it burn out. But we can quench the Spirit. Where the Holy Spirit can be doing a work in you changing your mind, changing your heart giving you direction telling you to go preach the Gospel to this individual and you say, no, Lord, I'm not going to do it. And those opportunities can go. And it's sad when those opportunities go. You know, I think I've shared this to this church before but I'll say it again. There was a time when I was dating my wife you know, we were in Burwood Westfields and I'm sure I've given this story before. But I remember just I think I was waiting for my wife I think I was waiting for her, she was in the shop or something, I was just outside. And there was this young man there and something pressed upon my heart to give this guy the Gospel. I was like, you know what, I need to give this guy the Gospel. I can't even tell you why I mean, think about how many people are in Westfields. You know, just to me, it's like I've got to give this guy the Gospel. Anyway, I was too embarrassed. I was too ashamed, I was too shy to just go up to a stranger. Because by then, I had gone dorsal soul winning but I hadn't done that much. I wasn't that comfortable with it. Anyway, Christina comes out and we go to other shops, we walk around and it just seemed like, and I think there's like three levels from memory, or two levels, I can't remember. But it seems like wherever we went, whatever shop we went to I would pass by that same guy over and over and over and over again. And I was like, I've got to give this guy the Gospel. I've got to give the guy the Gospel. Anyway, Christina needed to photocopy some documents and I can't remember exactly why that was. I think it was her course or something like that. She needed some photocopies. We went to the Australia Post. I don't know if it's still there or not. But they had a photocopy machine. You had to put money into that photocopy machine. This is back in the early 2000s. So technology was kind of different back then. But you had to put coins in that photocopy machine. So we went to the Australia Post and we lined up, because there were people using the photocopy machine and guess who was lined up right in front of us? That same individual. Same individual. He said, oh man, this is strange. You really want me to give this guy the Gospel? I don't know what to do. I mean, look, if this is not the movement of the Holy Spirit, I don't know what is. We have these opportunities. It's just a coincidence. And then I'm like, but Lord, how do I give him? How do I even start a conversation with this individual? What do I do? I don't know what to do. Anyway, he's photocopying these things. It's his turn. He's photocopying. And then I turn to Christina and I'm like, you know what, honey, I just realized we don't have any coins. I don't have any coins on me. How are we going to make the photocopies? And he turns around and says, if you put too many coins in the machine, you've got enough for like five photocopies. Right? Like, he started the conversation. I'm telling God, how do I start the conversation? I'm praying. He starts the conversation. And even then, I can't give him the Gospel. Even then, I can't. And it goes away if we use his credit for making photocopies. And I never saw him again. I tell you, brethren, that's quenching the Spirit. I tell you now, I know that's quenching the Spirit. The Spirit kept moving me, directing me, kept giving me opportunity after opportunity after opportunity. And then one day, just like this dream, you open the door, you want to do it, and they're gone. Right? And what I'm saying to you, brethren, is when God opens opportunities, take it. Especially when it comes to giving the Gospel. You know, telling this story makes me sad, again. I mean, God's forgiven me. You know, look, it seems like this person needed to get saved. You know, in my thoughts, I believe this man found Jesus Christ, one way or another. If he was seeking the Lord, and the Lord was trying to move me, and I was just too lazy, and I was just too selfish, maybe the Lord sent another soul winner to that man. Okay? So that gives me some comfort. But I don't know. I don't know that, brethren. I don't really know that. Okay? But, you know, when you get an opportunity to give the Gospel to someone, please take that opportunity. If the Holy Spirit is directing you, giving you one-on-one opportunities, just take it. Or that opportunity might be gone. You know, I wanted to start a church one day, right? I wanted to be a pastor one day. And I asked the Lord, Lord, where do you want me to go? I don't know where to go, Lord. And I tell you, I did not want to go to Queensland. You know, and my wife said to me, look, I'm fine with you being a pastor now, but I don't want us to go to Queensland. My wife said, that's all right. I said, maybe, Lord, maybe you want me to go to Adelaide. And we went to Adelaide for a holiday. And I was just praying, Lord, where do you want me to go? Where do you want me to go? Well, eventually we found someone from the Sunshine Coast. I don't know what the Sunshine Coast was. If you said to me, find me where the Sunshine Coast is on the map, I wouldn't tell you, I have no idea where that is. This guy was looking for a church. I'm like, Lord, maybe you want me to start, I don't know, maybe you're directing me there, Lord, I don't know. But I know we don't want to go to Queensland, so... And then like a few weeks out, a few months, I can't remember, my parents, we've never been to the Sunshine Coast. They're like, hey, we're going to the Sunshine Coast on holidays. Do you want to come along with us? I was like, I guess, Lord, you're... Maybe, I guess you're trying to show me where to go, Lord. So we went to the Sunshine Coast, met up with people, people started to meet one another, seemed like they were excited for a church. It's just, you know, it's like, Lord, where do you want me to go? And in my mind, I thought, well, maybe the Caloundra area, I don't know, on the Sunshine Coast. Come back to Sydney, went to Newcastle to visit some friends, Christian friends. And I forgot that my friend was from Queensland originally. And I told him, well, you know, I'm thinking of starting a church and just up there in Queensland. And he goes, have you thought about where exactly? I go, I don't know exactly. He goes, you know what, Caloundra. He goes, Caloundra is a place that you need to go outside of church. So, all right, Lord. Look, the opportunity is there. You're showing me where to go, Lord. Right? I mean, I didn't go immediately. There were still a few things. I had to get ordained, all that kind of stuff. But, Lord, it looks like you're showing me where I need to go. And I said, you know what, I'm not going to waste these opportunities. I'm not going to just think they're just coincidences that happen. You know, if I'm asking the Lord for guidance, and he opens the door, I've just got to walk it. And if I tell the Lord, Lord, close the doors where you don't want me to go, and the doors are closed, I've got to stop pushing those doors. Okay? The Holy Spirit leads us, guides us. He gives us opportunities, whatever opportunities they are. And listen, when the Lord gives you an opportunity, you better take it. Especially if you've been asking God for that opportunity. You go. You do it. And God's going to equip you and make it possible. Don't quench the Holy Spirit. Okay? Don't be this lady in this dream, where she delays coming to the door, and then the Beloved's gone. The opportunity's gone. This can happen in your life. Missing out on opportunities, and having the regrets of not taking those opportunities when they present to themselves. Alright, verse number 7. Chapter 5, verse number 7. So, yeah, be sensitive to the opportunities to minister, in whatever capacity that is. Verse number 7. So this time she goes to the Watchmen again. Alright, remember the Watchmen? Kind of the police officers of the day, if you want to look at it that way. Verse number 7. The Watchmen that went about the city found me. They smote me. They wounded me. The keepers of the walls took away my veil from me. This is like the climax of the nightmare. It's like, oh, man, you know, it all started good. My Beloved's gone. I'm looking for him, and now I'm getting beaten up. By the Watchmen out of all people. You can definitely see this is like, this is a dream. Okay, so it's not happening. And her veil, I guess they ripped off her veil. I mean, I don't know why they're treating her this way. I mean, she's the king's wife. Alright, so, I mean, if you do that to the king's wife, these Watchmen, it's a death sentence for them. Okay, so it's got to be a dream sequence, a nightmare that's happening. And so, you know, it's just getting kind of, this dream's just getting worse and worse and worse as she's looking for her Beloved. It kind of reminds me of, you know, dreams nightmares where you're kind of, like you're running away from some danger. Like, you're trying to run away. You know, one thing I learnt in nightmares, I don't know if you guys do this or not, like, in a nightmare, you're running away from that danger. What I found, if you want to wake up in a nightmare, is just run toward the danger. Just at some point, go, you know what, this is a nightmare. I'm going to go to where the danger is. Because at some point, your brain kind of realizes it's not quite right. So you go to the danger, and just when that attack is about to happen, it's when you wake up. Nightmare's over. I found that's the best way to overcome a nightmare. But yeah, she kind of ended up falling into this issue, right? Getting beaten up by these watchmen. And then, verse number eight is strange. It's kind of like, in this dream, she has like this new, like a new dream setting. Because then all of a sudden, she goes in verse number eight, I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem. So now she's speaking to the ladies in Jerusalem. If you find, she's still dreaming, because she says, if you find my beloved, that you tell him that I am sick of love. So she's still looking for her beloved. But like all of a sudden, she went from being beaten, to now like a new dream sequence. Do you guys know what I'm talking about? I mean, if you had dreams, I'm sure you'd... Like, have you ever told somebody a dream? You're like, I just had a dream, I'm going to tell someone. She started telling her wife something. And like, then this happened, this happened. And all of a sudden, all of a sudden, I'm over here. All of a sudden, I'm living like in a house that we haven't lived in for like 10 years. And it's like, well, that doesn't make any sense now. As I'm telling you the story, this kind of sounds stupid now that I tell you about it. It's like, all of a sudden, the setting changes all of a sudden. That's what's happening to her. Like, all of a sudden now, she's speaking to her ladies after being beaten up. But she's still looking for her beloved. Right? She said, have you seen him? Can you find him? Look, tell him that I'm sick of love. Hey, tell him that I'm lovesick. Tell him that I love him. Right? I mean, I tell him that I'm sorry. I didn't open the door when I should have. You know, he's gone. You know, she's like this desperation. Tell him that I just, I love him. I'm sick of love. I'm lovesick for him. Can you please find him? Verse number nine, they respond to her. What is thy beloved more than another beloved? They say to her, what's so good about him? Now again, why is this still a dream? Because her beloved's the king. Like, who's going to say, what, you lost the king? What's so good about the king? What's so good about King Solomon? Like, she's having this dream, like, I want to find him. It's like, what's so good about him? Like, why is he so important that you need to find him? Oh, thou fairest among women. What is thy beloved more than another beloved? That, look, that thou dost so charge us. Why is it so important that you're even giving us direction to go and find him for you? What's so important about him? What's so special about him? All right, so we start then, she starts to now describe her husband. And look, what, even though it's a dream, even though it seems a little bit awkward as we keep going for this, you know, what we need to pull out of this is, of course, the truth of her love for her husband. Like, that she's sick of love, that she's lovesick for him. She loves herself. She's regretting the fact that she didn't open that door when she had the opportunity to bring him in to the house. And so she begins explaining why he's so great. In verse number 10, she says, My beloved is white and ruddy, the chiefest among ten thousand. She goes, look, you get me ten thousand, man. He's the best. And Brevin, look, there's nothing special about being white. Okay, well, he's white skin, he's ruddy. You know, ruddy kind of means like red. You know, if you kind of, like, the whiter you are, the more you sort of see, like, the pigmentation, the blood. Like, for example, like, if you're kind of fair and you get embarrassed or shy or you blush, it's more noticeable. You'll be more red. You'll be, like, beetroot red the whiter you are. And the darker you are, you know, if you get a bit embarrassed, that redness won't be as prominent, okay? So, yeah, King Solomon is quite white, okay? My beloved is white and ruddy. Look, this is what she finds attractive about him. This is what she believes is why he's greater than the ten thousand, you know, the chiefest of the ten thousand. Now, of course, you need to put your own situation in that, right? Like, if you're married or your spouse, what is it that you love about her? What is it that you love about him? You know, this is just a framework or a model of how we are to be physically attracted to the one that we're married to. And, you know, this makes a lot of sense. I want to quickly read to you from 1 Samuel 16 verse 12. 1 Samuel 16 verse 12. This is speaking about David. David is Solomon's father, obviously. And this is when David actually goes... Oh, sorry, let me have a look at that. Oh, yeah. So this is when Samuel, the Lord points to Samuel that David will be the next king. It says in 1 Samuel 16 verse 12, And he sent and brought him in. Now he was ruddy and withal of a beautiful countenance and goodly to look to. And the Lord said, Arise, anoint him, for this is he. So the fact that David is ruddy, of course, he's passed that characteristic down to Solomon. They're fair-skinned. They're quite light for the people of Israelites at that time. And so that's what she loves about him. She loves his appearance. And again, it's not saying that being white is better than being dark. That's what she finds attractive about him. And again, look, I find my wife attractive. But I'm not expecting everyone else to find my wife attractive. And I guess my wife finds me handsome. But look, I hope that other ladies don't try to find me handsome. I'm for her and she's for me. God has created everyone very differently. Different nations, we all look different. Even people within the same nation look quite different. Even my twin boys don't look anything alike. And it's got the same mother and father. And so look, there is a great truth that when you find your spouse, you ought to be physically attracted to them. Please don't think the physical means nothing. Now look, more important than physical attraction, of course, is their personality, is their character. Of course, because that part of them only gets better. When it comes to the physical nature, we get older, we get wrinkly, we become a little bit less attractive than we were when we were younger. But there's nothing wrong with being physically attracted to your spouse. This is normal. This is kind of why eventually you want that physical intimacy because you find your spouse attractive. And so she's telling the ladies, hey, my husband's handsome, I find him handsome. That is very different to the kind of speech that you hear ladies on the workplace about their husbands. Very different. And again, I've been in the workplace, a whole bunch of ladies, and they love to complain about their husbands. It's like topic number one. What's horrible about your husband? You know, when it comes to this lady, when it comes to this queen, she's praising her husband to all the daughters of Jerusalem. She goes, I find him attractive. He's the best out of 10,000. He's the chiefest. Can you find him? I love him. That's not how ladies talk in the workplace. At least the workplace that I've been at. You know, they just keep putting down their husbands. And you know what? Men, we should not put down our wives. Publicly. Hey, when it comes to public nature, we should uphold our spouse. Speak about the positive attributes. Speak about the things that we love about them. Look, there's no perfect marriage. There's no perfect, 100% perfect wife and 100% perfect husband in life. We all have problems. We have defects. We all can make a list of issues that get frustrated about our spouses if you really wanted to. But when it comes to speaking in public, you'd better highlight the things that you find wonderful about them. The things that you love about them. Not putting your spouse down. Let's keep going there. Verse 11. She says, his head is as the most fine gold. His locks are bushy, like thick hair, and black as a raven. So he's got black hair. Even though he's fair-skinned, he's got black hair. She goes, I love his thick, black hair. Verse number 12. His eyes are as the eyes of doves. We've seen this before. By the rivers of waters, washed with milk and fitly set. I don't know. The milk, I guess, the white of his eyes. They're fitly set, I guess. Maybe it's symmetrical? My face isn't completely symmetrical. He's not cross-eyed. Perfect. Verse number 13. His cheeks are as a bed of spices, as sweet flowers. I don't know what that means, brethren. But it sounds good. I don't know how this is going to help the daughters find the husband. What does he look like? His cheeks are as a bed of spices. That should help you find my husband out there. It's a dream sequence still. But again, what do we see? The points of this brethren is that she's praised in his appearance. She loves her husband. As sweet flowers, his lips, like lilies, drop in sweet, smelly myrrh. He doesn't have bad... What's the word? He doesn't have bad breath. He puts some mint in his mouth. He brushes his teeth. He does something to make sure that his breath smells nice to his wife. He doesn't have morning breath. He brushes his teeth. Make sure when he talks to his wife that his breath smells nice. Verse number 14. His hands are as gold rings set with a beryl. His belly is as bright ivory. So again, his belly is white. Ivory is white, overlaid with sapphires. It's quite interesting. You know what I think? Not that this is important, but I reckon Solomon has a six-pack based on what we just read there. His belly is as bright ivory, overlaid with sapphires. So many sapphires. When it comes to gems, the hardest gem... Does anyone know what the hardest gem is? It's a diamond, if you guys don't know. There's a way to measure the hardness of certain gems. When it comes to measuring diamonds, they say it's like a ten. Then the sapphire comes next. The hardness is a nine. Sounds like this guy's got a pretty strong belly. The fact that he's overlaid with sapphires, you can probably see his six-pack. I don't know. She's saying that's something she loves about him. So what's the instruction here? Men go to the gym. No, I'm not saying that. That's what she finds attractive about him. Maybe your wife likes your two-pack. Or your one-pack. I don't know, whatever it is. That's what she finds attractive about him. And this is perfectly fine. It's probably fine to be fit. To be strong. She says, look, my husband is stronger than me. There's a toughness about him. It continues there in verse 15. His legs are as pillars of marble. Look, he's got strong legs. How's that going to help people find this husband? I don't know. They're strong legs. When it comes to the differences between men and women, men are obviously generally stronger than women. This is just how God's created us to be. Men, if you're not stronger than your wife, then maybe hit the gym. Maybe get your legs as your personal trainer or something. Turn your legs into marbles if you have to. It's good, because we're meant to protect our wives, aren't we? We're meant to give them security and safety. If someone breaks into the house, it better be the man getting up there, fixing that situation, not sending the wife. To go and sort out the intruder. Men, we ought to be stronger than our wives. And of course, just even naturally, just generally, men are stronger than women. We put muscle and fat in different places in our bodies. But she continues, set upon sockets of fine gold. His countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars. She loves his face. She loves everything about him. As she talks to, again, this dream, when she's talking to these other ladies about her husband's appearance, she's obviously swooning about his appearance. She definitely loves it. You can definitely see, she loves her husband. She feels horrible for not opening that door at the very beginning. And again, there's nothing wrong to be physically attracted to your spouse. This is good and proper. It's good and proper to be physically attracted. And you should stay physically attracted. As we read this, this is instructions for marriage. Please don't just let yourself go and become, look, I put on weight, brethren, and I want to lose that. I'm not just like, okay, let's see how big I can get. Or let's see how slothful I can get. Or let's see how weak I can get. No, no, we should try to maintain attraction toward one another. This is good and proper. I've heard it said that men look for the physical appearance, but women look for the personality. Well, this is a woman describing her husband. She hasn't really described his personality here. She's describing his physical appearance. Look, this is good. Yes, you should be physically attracted, but you should also, of course, love his or her personality, his or her character. We're different. Physically, he's different to her. But it's not just physically. Personalities, we're going to be different. Men, we are different. We are physically stronger. We're also emotionally stronger. And again, I'm speaking in general terms here. Usually when something bad happens in life, ladies are going to get a little bit more emotional about that. But that's not a weakness about them. You need to understand. They're more in tune with their emotions, so they're better with children. They can connect better. They can be more motherly, more caring. Men, sometimes we don't care for our children exactly the way that we should, but that's because mother's nurture is so important. We play different roles. We're compatible. We're to be one flesh, encouraging one another. Men, we should encourage our wives when they get a little bit emotionally upset. I know what I'm like as a man. I'm like, oh, come on, honey, just get over it. I'm sure men are going to be like that. But you need to remember, they can't just get over it. They're created differently. They're physically weaker. Emotionally, they're weaker. But again, they're made for a purpose. We're made to be different. We have different roles and responsibilities. That's why later on we get to about being a friend. That's why I think having friends with different interests actually is more interesting in life. Not just being exactly the same. You know, honey, you've got to be just like me. You need to think just like me. You need to act just like me. You need to react just like me. Men, you don't want to marry another man. Trust me. Okay? Look, it's better to have one man, one woman. This is how God's created things to be. Okay? She can be your helpmate. To help you in life. You can strengthen her. Encouragement toward her. When she's going through some emotional hurts and pains, men, we ought to be that rock. That encouragement. You know, lifting them through and helping them through those tough times. So look, it's all important. Physical, personality, all these things are important when it comes to finding the right person to marry. Verse number 16. She says, His mouth is most sweet. Yea, he is altogether lovely. So the things that he says are sweet, right? This is my beloved. And this is my friend. O daughters of Jerusalem. And she says, look, he's the best. He's the best. He's my beloved. And this is my friend. And I love that. I love the fact that there's friendship in marriage. Who is your best friend, Pastor Kevin? My wife. She's my best friend. I'll support her as much as I possibly can with whatever I can give her. She's my friend. And I'm her friend. What's friendship? You need to talk, isn't that? What kind of friend are you if you don't spend time together? What kind of friend are you if you don't speak to one another? You know what friends are like. You've had friends. Are your friends exactly the same as you? They're all different. I'm sure you've had friends that have gone through hard times and you've been there for your friend. I'm sure the times you've had hard times and your friend's been there for you. You know what? It doesn't change. That's what marriage is. You're there for one another. I'll just get over it. No, that's wrong attitude. Help your friend out. Just as much as you help any other friend. But your wife is your best friend. Please turn with me to the book of Proverbs. Let's learn a little bit about friendship in the book of Proverbs. Tim, is that your water? Have you had some yet? I'll leave it there. Friends are there for each other. He left me a little bit of his water. Praise God for Tim. But it's good to go to Proverbs because someone was Solomon. So were many of the Proverbs. So when he says in this song that they are friends then we can learn a little bit more about this in the book of Proverbs. Proverbs 17, 17. Proverbs 17, 17. Look at this. Proverbs 17, 17. Thanks, brother. Appreciate it. That's a friend. Amen? Proverbs 17, 17. A friend loveth at all times and a brother is born for adversity. Brethren, a friend loves at all times. You know, husbands, the Bible commands us to love our wives. Husbands, you're to love your wife at all times. Even when she frustrates you. Even when you have an argument. Hey, you're meant to love her. A friend loves her at all times. At all times. And look how much more your spouse. I mean, you're living with them day in, day out. A friend, you won't see them all the time. You may see them once a week or something along those lines. But you're going to see your spouse every single day. You better love your spouse. Every single day. At all times. No matter what situation you find yourself in. So when the wife says, this is my beloved, this is my friend. She says, I love him at all times. You know? Next chapter, Proverbs 18, 24. Proverbs 18, 24. A man that have friends must show himself friendly. And there is a friend that stick of closer than a brother. Hey, that's my wife. She sticks closer than my brother. My brother's in the United States. My other brother here, we live in different states. There is one friend that I have that's closer than my brother. That's my wife. We're together. But look, a man that have friends must show himself friendly. Be friendly toward your spouse. Speak to them in a friendly way. I'm preaching to myself as much as anybody else. Okay? I know what marriage is like. You can be abrupt sometimes. You don't expect a certain way to happen or you don't expect your wife to do certain things. But listen, we're to speak friendly toward them. Okay? That's what Christ expects from us. If we're going to have a friendly marriage, if we're going to be friends, we're going to speak to each other. Show ourselves to be friendly, one to another. Look, if your spouse is not showing themselves to be a good friend, you continue to be a friend. You continue to love at all times. You continue to show yourself friendly. Proverbs chapter 27 please. Proverbs 27 verse number 9. Proverbs 27 verse number 9. It says, Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart. So again we get that, hey, you know what? Having that physical intimacy. Smell nice. Rejoice the heart. But look, more than that. Sold off the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel. Counsel is like advice. You know, again, when it comes to a marriage, if we want to be good friends, we ought to speak. We ought to have counsel one to another. Look, you know what I preach. You guys know that I teach that a man is the head of his wife. That's what the Bible teaches. You are in control. You have authority, men. But that doesn't mean you just boss your wife around. Look, a friend has that hearty counsel. You speak to each other. Look, before I decide to make some major decision in my family's life, guess who I'm going to speak to? My friend. My wife. She might know better than me about that situation. I might decide, honey, we're going to do this. We're going to affect the kids this way. But she's the one that homeschools them. She's the one that's more compassionate toward the children. My decision, I may not have thought about certain things how that's going to affect my family. How that's going to affect my wife. How that's going to affect my children as much as my wife has. So we speak to each other. We seek for counsel. You ought to seek counsel for your wife. There was a time when I was managing a lot of staff. I had a lot of staff. And there were times when I had to make certain decisions for our department. But you know, if I was going to be foolish I would just make decisions without checking with my staff. The ones that are doing the job day in, day out. The ones that know that if I make a certain decision how that's going to affect their lives and how that's going to affect the lives of the staff that's under them. So before I made a big decision on the workplace I'd bring in my supervisors. I might even bring in a few key staff members that are great workers and say guys, look we need to make some changes in the workplace. This is what I'm thinking. These are the options that we've got ahead of ourselves. Can I get your thoughts? Can you tell me what you think? Which is the best way to go? If we choose this, what kind of problems are we creating? Can we address those problems or can we not? Hey, you seek counsel. And then once you've had that discussion you've sought advice, you've had a conversation then the authority says okay we're going to go this way then. But don't be the kind of husband that just makes decisions about first speaking to your spouse. Again I don't know what it is. There's something about marriage where people kind of they can't relate marriage to other places in life. What I just described to you that's common sense. Imagine a team and you're making some big changes of course you're going to speak to your staff. Of course you're trying to get more counsel, more information about how that's going to affect your workplace. But then all of a sudden people forget that about marriage. It's like well I'm the boss, I'm in charge she's just got to do what I've got to say the kid's just got to do what I've got to say and I'm making a decision. Well you do have that authority but where's your common sense to go and get counsel? That's what a friend does. That's what a friend is for. You know there have been times that I've spoken to my own church members about church. I'm the pastor though. I've got to make decisions. I've got the authority. But what kind of foolish pastor would I be if I don't first speak to my church? Get your thoughts and opinions about certain things. Now God's word comes first but I understand that and I'm going to make the final decision I'm accountable for what happens in church. But what kind of foolish pastor would not first speak to the church members about certain things? Alright so Just because you go and speak to your wife oh I'm embarrassed. Sometimes people say, pastor can you do this and that? I'm like, guys I need to talk to my wife first. I'm not embarrassed. She's my friend. She's my wife. I'm like, oh they're going to think that I'm being boss. She's the head of the house. I'm not embarrassed about that. Everyone that knows me knows that I'm the boss of the house. I've got authority but I've got a friend. I've got someone to help me in life. I've got my companion. My best friend. And she says matters. Can you please go with me to Proverbs 27 Oh you're in Proverbs 27 already. Verse number 17 Chapter 27 verse number 17 You guys know this one Iron sharp enough iron So a man sharp enough the countenance of his friend. The countenance of your face. If my wife is upset one day You know what a friend does? Iron sharp enough iron. The countenance of my friend. Honey what's wrong? Give her joy. Lift her up in a time of challenge. My wife says to me And I don't even feel stressed She'll say to me Kevin you look stressed. You need to rest. You need to stop. But I don't even feel stressed. But she sees it on my countenance. She sees the dark circles forming under my eyes. She sees me getting sick. She sees me getting tired. But I feel like just continuing continuing continuing. It's not a break. Stop. Calm down. She'll tell me Maybe get someone else to preach for you this Sunday Because you look tired. Why? Because she's my boss? Not because she's my friend. Because she cares about me. Because she cares about my countenance. She wants me to be in my best health physically. Best health mentally. Best health spiritually. So sometimes the other iron That sharp enough of my iron That's what a friend does. Alright? So marriage is beautiful. And again I just wanted to I guess reinforce the fact And call this sermon This is my friend Because I want you to have a friendship in your marriage. I want you to say hey And mean it. Be truthful and say My best friend is my spouse. And if you can't say that honestly in your heart Then you better make that spouse your friend. Show yourself friendly. Show yourself friendly. Don't remove yourself from your roles and responsibilities That God has given you. But apply what we see here. What a friend is. Apply in your marriage. Don't think it's just your high school friends Or your church friends. This has to do with your marriage. God wants us to have a healthy, friendly marriage. Because that's who you're living with. The one that I want to get along with the most Has most definitely my spouse. I have to see her every day. We're raising children together. We're making life together. That's the person I want to get along with the most. My spouse. And just one more passage. Please go to James chapter 2. I'll just end on this one. Because while we're speaking about Being friends with our spouse Let's take a greater spiritual truth out of this. Let's take a greater spiritual truth out of this. James chapter 2, verse 23. James chapter 2, verse 23. The Bible says In James chapter 2, 23 And the scripture was fulfilled which saith Abraham believed God And it was imputed unto him for righteousness And he was called the friend of God. So all these truths that we spoke about Being a friend. If Abraham's going to be a friend of God If he was called a friend of God Then you better know for sure He was God's friend. That he sought counsel from God. That he got his strength from God. That he spent time with God. That he spoke with God. This is what Abraham did. And brethren, you better be a friend of God too. I know you're saved. I know we're all children of God. But that doesn't mean you're his friend. If you don't pick up his word And hear what he has to say to you If you don't go to him in prayer And speak to him If you don't come to his house, the church Where his presence is What kind of friend are you? God wants to be your friend too. So the things that we learn about Friendship here You better apply that to God as well. He wants to be your friend. Now the problem with this Why are we not God's friend sometimes? Go to chapter 4, James chapter 4. This is the problem, brethren. James chapter 4, verse 4. James chapter 4, verse 4. Ye adulterous And adulterous Know ye not that the friendship Of the world Is enmity with God. Brethren, you can choose Who your friend's going to be. Spiritually speaking. Is it this world? Or is it God? If you make the world your friend You become an enemy to God, as it were. You're an enemy to God. It says, whosoever therefore Will be a friend of the world Is the enemy of God. This is about Christians. Alright? And I love the fact that it says adulterous and adulterous. Because when you think about that That's, of course, marriage. When you commit adultery, it's because you cheated on your spouse. Alright? Now if you want to be a friend to God Hey, don't be a spiritual adulterer. Love God first and foremost. Love God more than you love this world. I know how hard it is, though. I bet you, you all love this world to some extent. I know I do. Certain elements. One of the greatest things was COVID. You know, people complain about COVID. I rejoice. Because during COVID world I became less attached to this world. You know what? Instead of thinking, I just realized, man, this world's This world's just going down the toilets. And it just became easier to detach myself from the world and attach myself closer to God. Being more a friend to God than I am to this world. Brethren, we need to be friends to God as well. But the world gets in the way. The world wants to be a friend. The world wants to pull you away from God and the things of God. So brethren, that's just the spiritual truth. We won't go into that any further. But look, this is my friend, King Solomon. And you better make sure, especially if you're single, if you're seeking to get married, that the person you marry is your friend. Develop a friendship. Love them. It's not just about fulfilling I've got to get married one day, I've got to find a wife and that's it. No, find a friend. Find a friend. Make them your friend. And understand that your spouse is made differently to you. No, you're different. You don't want your spouse to be just like you because then you're marrying a man. Or vice versa. I wish my husband was more like me. We'd just be marrying another woman then. We're different. We're created differently. And the friendships that I enjoy the most is when I don't see eye to eye with you guys on certain things. I found this passage. What do you think? I think differently. Well, that makes it interesting because we can have a conversation about that. Yeah, woo! It gets boring after a while. We're all exactly the same about everything. Life is interesting when we differ. To this day, I differ to my wife about certain things. You know, children are becoming teenagers and we see things a little bit differently. How we want them to progress in life and work and all these kinds of things. We see things differently. It's not a reason to argue and fight. It's a reason to enjoy one another. To see, hey, we are different people. We see things differently. There are things that you're thinking about that I haven't thought about. Maybe there are things that I've thought about that you haven't thought about. But at the end of the day, there's a friendship in my marriage. There ought to be a friendship in your marriage. So please appreciate the institutional marriage. It's so important to God. I know this world hates marriage. It's trying to destroy it. But brethren, we're Christians. We've got God's Word. Let's show the world what marriage really is.