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you you you you you alrighty hymn number 169 come thou fount come thou fount of every blessing tune my heart to sing thy grace strings of mercy never ceasing call for songs of loudest praise teach me some melodious sonnet sung by flaming tongues above raise the mountain fixed upon it mountain climb redeeming love here I raise my heaven in earth by thy hope I'm found and I know thy good pleasure safely alaried at home Jesus sought me when a stranger wondered from the fall of God Jesus raised me from danger interposed his precious body Lord his grace and great adventure daily I'm constrained to be let thy goodness find her better find my wandering heart to be prone to wonder Lord I feel good prone to leave now God I love give my heart to take and seal it seal it all like a cross above and in Jesus' name Amen you may be seated alrighty can I get you to turn now to hymn number 82 hymn number 82 When He Cometh all His jewels, precious jewels His love they return like the stars of the morning His bright crown adorning they shall shine in their beauty like gems for His crown He will gather, He will gather the gems for His kingdom all the pure ones, all the bright ones His love they return like the stars of the morning His bright crown adorning they shall shine in their beauty like gems for His crown little children, little children who love their kingdom all the jewels, precious jewels His love they return like the stars of the morning His bright crown adorning they shall shine in their beauty like gems for His crown alrighty good singing final hymn before the Bible reading can I get you to turn to hymn number 191 hymn number 191 In My Heart There Rings a Melody hymn number 191 there rings a melody, there rings a melody with epitome in my heart there rings a melody, there rings a melody of love I love the Christ who died on Calvary for He washed my sins away He put within my heart a melody and I know it's there to stay in my heart there rings a melody, there rings a melody with epitome in my heart there rings a melody, there rings a melody of love to be my endless seeming glory with the angels I will sing to be a song with glorious harmony when the thoughts of heaven ring in my heart there rings a melody, there rings a melody with famous harmony in my heart there rings a melody, there rings a melody of love alrighty can I get you to grab your Bibles now and turn to Proverbs chapter 18 Proverbs chapter 18 and brother Jason's coming up for the Bible reading when the wicked cometh then cometh also contempt and with ignomininy reproach the words of a man's mouth are as deep waters and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook it is not good to accept the person of the wicked to overthrow the righteous in judgment our fool's lips enter into contention and his mouth call for strokes our fool's mouth is his destruction and his lips are the snare of his soul the words of a tale bearer are as wounds and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly he also that is slothful in his work is brother to him that is a great waster the name of the lord is a strong tower the righteous runneth into it and is safe the rich man's wealth is his strong city and has an high wall in his own conceit before destruction the heart the heart of man is haughty and before honour is humility he that answereth a matter before he heareth it it is folly and shame unto him the spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity but a wounded spirit who can bear the heart of the prudent getteth knowledge in the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge a man's gift maketh room for him and bringeth him before great men he let his first in his own cause seemeth just but his neighbour cometh and searcheth him the lot causes contentions to cease and parteth between the mighty a brother offended is hard to be won than a strong city and their contentions are like the bars of a castle a man's belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth and with the increase of his lips shall he be filled death and life are in the power of the tongue and they that love it shall eat fruit thereof who say findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour of the lord the poor useth entreaties but the rich answerth roughly a man that have friends must show himself friendly and there is a friend that's sticketh closer than a brother. Dear Lord just thank you for this incredible proverb Lord there's so much wisdom just in this one chapter of your word alone Lord I do pray Lord that you give Pastor Kevin an unction and wisdom of your Holy Ghost Lord just to preach a sermon to us this afternoon in Jesus' name Amen Amen, thank you brother Alright so you know I normally preach three sermons a week sometimes four sermons a week if I'm travelling down to Sydney and what you see as the end product of a sermon is not always the preparation, it's not always exactly what is even on my notes when I go ahead to preach it. I've got a lot of like half completed sermons like I've kind of started but I just don't know where I really want that sermon to go and this is essentially what I'm going to be preaching out today is a continuation of a sermon that I preached which I believe was the first month of our church alright back when we were called the church and back when we were meeting in the hall back there at the rugby union club and I preached on friendship and I had a part two lined up and I just couldn't really get to the end of it, I just couldn't really work out where I wanted to get to part two so I looked at, I took my notes once again and I combined a little bit of part one so it's not all from scratch there and I've made this sermon but if you have a look at Proverbs 18 and verse number 24 Proverbs 18 and verse number 24 it says a man that have friends must show himself friendly, the title for the sermon this afternoon is show yourself friendly, show yourself friendly you know it's a good thing to have friends, it's a good thing to have a social life, have people that you can speak to on a regular basis don't forget when man, when God created Adam and Eve he created us to be social creatures, he created Eve to be a help and it was not good for a man to be alone and it's so important that we learn how to just connect with people and we all do to some level, we all do, we all have families that we've grown up and we all have some elements of friendship and a community that we're associated with but you know one thing that we don't have a lot of in the country of Australia, number one are Christians that are saved, you know there's a lot of Christians that are not saved very few Christians that are actually saved, number two we have very few of those Christians that are saved that actually want to get into a good Baptist church and hear the doctrines being preached without compromise there's very few of us is what I'm saying and it's my heart's desire that we would have strong friendships in our church and don't waste the fellowship don't waste the friendships, the people that are in this church, again there are so few of us, you know if you decide I don't want to be a friend to this church I don't want to be a friend to these brethren here, you're not going to have much left, you're going to have to develop friendships in a lost world you know friendships are affecting you in a negative light and they are turning your hearts away from the Lord, you know I would love nothing more than for New Life Baptist Church to be the friendliest church in Australia that's what I would love, I mean I want a church that loves the Lord, I want a church that is soul winning, yes I want a church that is preaching the whole council of God absolutely but I also want a friendly church I like it when people come and visit our church and the feedback that I get many times is man you've got a lot of friendly people, I like that, I like that I like hearing that, okay and you know what we are, you know it's part of life to develop friendships and I think we need to value friendships we need to value the people that we have at least in this community as a church but a man that have friends must show himself friendly and so what I want to talk about is how to develop friendships you know what to look out for in friends but also what to be careful about because I'm not saying that we should just be friends with everybody that we come across there are some danger signs, there are some people that you're better off staying away from but looking at this problem again, problem 18 verse 24 what we learn here is that if you want to have friends you must take the first step, don't wait for others to befriend you, you need to step out and say you know what I want to be a friend to this person, this person seems alone in church, no one's speaking to them, I'm going to step out and say hello I'm going to step out and care for that person, I must show myself friendly if I want to have friends, you know sometimes people talk about not having friends, the question is though are you friendly are you waiting for others to greet you, are you waiting for others to care about you, you're taking the wrong approach, you have to step out, you have to be the one that takes that first step and show yourself friendly and then it says and there is a friend that's closer than a brother, a friend that's closer than a brother so you know the way I look at this verse, I'll tell you just my honest view of this verse, when I look at this church, when I look at Blessed Old Baptist Church down in Sydney as well, every church member is my friend, that's how I look at it, you know every church member is my brother or sister in the Lord and therefore you're my friend you know now there are some people that I'm going to get along better than others, there are some people that we're going to have more in common, you know we're just going to get along a little bit better than other people and that's just how life is okay, but as far as I'm concerned you're all my friends, like if there's someone in this church that has a need and I can step in and help that, I truly believe I'll be there to help you guys and I also truly believe and I've already seen this, when I have a need that others in the church have stepped up and tried to be a help and a blessing unto me, hey that shows friendliness, that we care, that we love one another don't we? But then there is a friend that's thicker closer than our brother and of course that you know often we would say hey that person is my best friend, I've got friends in general but there's usually just a couple of people or just that one person that I call my closest friend you say who is that Pastor Kevin, honestly it's my wife when it comes to just a human being on this earth, it's my wife, my wife is my best friend okay, there's a reason why I wanted to marry her, there's a reason why I wanted to spend my life with her because I see her as my best friend you know and we don't really have necessarily a lot in common besides the family, you know she has certain ways of looking at things, I have certain ways of looking at things, she has interests, I have other interests but one thing that I found as you know, one thing that schools do very poorly, you know we train our children is that our children grow up with this idea that I must be friendly to people of my age group, in my grade, this is my grade I'm in grade 9 for example and I've got to make friendships with the grade 9 students and then I also found in the same school, just because you're in the same grade doesn't mean you're necessarily the same, you're friends but then friends start to divide over certain interests and in my school at least, I don't know if it's all schools like this, in my school the interest was on music so if you were into the rock and roll music, you'd form friendships with those that liked rock and roll and if you were into R&B, you'd form friendships with those that were into R&B and if you liked, I don't think anyone liked country music but you know what I'm talking about, there's certain genres of music and you're like, they're the one you just get along because you have things in common, I've never really been into music so who did I develop my friendships with? I loved basketball, I loved playing basketball so my friendships were developed around those that liked to play basketball as well you know then you had your geeks and the geeks made friends not in a bad way but you know, the geeks made friends with those that loved computers and IT and technology and software and games and you know MP3 music and the digital realm, they developed friendships like this but what I found is that it's a strange concept that the only people that I need to be friends with or make friends with are those that are exactly like me with the same interests but then when you get into real life, things are very different, in fact I prefer making friendships with people that are completely different to me now look, I prefer making friends with someone that is saved but listen, someone that is saved can be completely different, I think of brother Jason he's really into marathons, really into running, I could care less about that but you know what, because our interests are so different for example, I actually quite enjoy listening about the marathon world, you know what it takes to prepare because I'm learning something new, like if I'm always around people that think the same way as me, you know, have the same interests as me we're going to run out of things to talk about pretty quickly, aren't we? Because we're all on the same page about everything, one thing that I found that I did not learn through school, it kind of messed me up a little bit is that my better friends are those that are completely different to me and if I say that my wife is my best friend, guess what she's completely different to me, not only because she's a female but she has completely different interests, you know, we've purchased a house in Malaney my wife loves the garden, she loves the flowers that are there, you know if it was up to me, I'd rip it all apart, I'd be like just more grass more, you know, to run around in, but my wife likes the flowers and then she'll show me, oh look at this flower, this one smells, and I pick it up and say hey that smells really that flower smells like perfume, you know what, if I was only with people that were interested, same interests as me, I would have no idea that that flower smelled so pleasant, so I've learnt something, been with someone that has complete different interests, and I want to say that because we're in a church with people of different backgrounds different upbringings, we've all been saved at different places in life and it makes me sad when I hear people say, you know, I can't really be part of this church because there's no one in the same age group as me or there's no one really at church that has the same interests as me so I can't make friends, you know, that's the world's way of making friends what I strongly, you know, encourage recommend, because I had to learn this in a painful way, is that friendships should not be determined on just interests in fact, as I said to you, there's very few of us very few saved people, very few saved people that want to be in a King James preaching church caring for God's word, I know we're all different I know we look at other people's lives and go, I wouldn't do that, that doesn't mean you can't be a friend okay, I really I thoroughly enjoy hearing other people's opinions, other people's interests because otherwise I would personally never have gone and looked into that issue or that topic, I think that's what friendship is you know, building one another up, you know, spending some time of life together, you know, we spend a few hours every week together, you know, we should be forming some good friends at church but again, you must take initiative, you must be the one that steps out and shows some interest, you know, I've shared before that I'm quite an introverted person, I prefer being quiet, I prefer not to open my mouth and that's just how I am, but one thing that I found as well in life that if I just allow myself to be that way, I'm not going to form any friendships you know, because part of me just prefers not having the friends, part of me prefers just leave me alone, okay, in fact we were talking about that recently, just the fact that, you know, for some people going on holidays is just leave me alone in my house, like that's kind of like the holiday that I want to have just to be left alone, sometimes we have that feeling, but you know we can't live a life like that forever, we need to have community, we need to have friendships we need to have conversations and influence one another and if you don't know how to take that initiative, that first step if you don't know how to do that, what I learnt, and I think I learnt this where did I learn this, I think I might have learnt this in church actually, is that just pretend to show interest, you may not be interested in that person, you don't know how to develop a friendship, I know I should step out and introduce and try to develop some friendship, I just, we don't have things in common one thing that I learnt is just pretend to have interest and when you pretend to have interest, then actually you do start to become interested, you know, it does become, it's the same analogy of you know, we've taken the michel cats, right, they're in our house I don't care for the cats, you know really, before the cats come, my kids don't care about the cats, okay, but listen, the cats need to be fed, don't they they need to be looked after, and you know, as you start to show, you pretend to show some interest, guess what, you start to love those little animals, you start to care for those little creatures, you know really, friendship is not all that different you know, if there's someone that you don't know, you've never met, is new to church hey, just go out of your way, hey, my name is Kevin you know, what's your name, you know, what do you do for work, just show some level of interest you know, what are your hobbies, what are your interests, do you have family, are you married do you have kids, you know, you start asking these questions and then, hey, as you learn about that person, next time you see them, you can also ask them, hey, like let's say that they do, this person works as an engineer in some place, so how's your work going, you know, last week you told me you were up to this project how's that gone, and then you start to develop an interest in that person, guess what that person feels like, hey, this person cares for me, you start asking questions about that person's life how are you doing, how's your work, how's this situation, you know what it comes upon them, hey, this person actually cares for me, this person wants to be a friend and that's how friendships form, but my point number one there Breveren is that you need to take that first step, okay, be a blessing step out, you know, I mean, when you look at God and the fact that he came and he sent his son to die for us, I mean, God had to step out and love sinners, you know, to the point of sending his son to die for us, we want to develop friendships, we need to step out of our comfort zone and show ourselves to care and love that person, be a blessing, yes, maybe you have to pretend at the beginning, alright, that you're interested in them, but I guarantee you, once you do that, you will become interested in them, you will care for them you know, it's the same thing with soul winning, before I went soul winning I knew how important soul winning was, but I don't care about some person, you know, some stranger behind that door you know, I had to force myself to get out there, you know, take that first step, knock that person's door and start giving them the gospel and as I started to hear people speaking, not knowing how to be saved, or being confident that I'm going to die and go to hell, or people that just seem so lost and confused, guess what happened? I started to love the lost you know, sometimes people say, I just don't love the lost, I don't know if I can really go out soul winning, I just don't seem to care, once you're soul winning, you start to care for them you start to have a love for the lost and a desire to see as many people saved and come into the kingdom of God, but it takes action it takes action to have those right emotions, those right feelings that right care for the person that may become your friend but again, there is a friend that's sick of closer than a brother, and again that is my wife for me, okay, now again, from a spiritual perspective that's my Lord, that's Jesus Christ, you know, God wants to have a friendship with his people, you know, and God wants us to be in fellowship with his saints, you know, I'd be lying if I said, you know, I'm just a best friend to God, you know, I think we can all be better friends to God, God does want us to be his friend, you know but if you can please turn to the Song of Solomon, turn to the Song of Solomon chapter 5, Song of Solomon chapter 5 and verse number 16 Song of Solomon is a book that's written, it's a love song between a husband and a wife, and ladies are going to notice what the wife says about Solomon in this song, and I'm not you know, ladies are, I don't know, I don't know how you feel about your husbands but again, you know my story, I've worked with a lot of ladies and you know what, ladies love to talk about them most, their husbands how bad their husbands are, you know, how they don't love them the way they ought to, how they don't care, you know, their husbands are losers and this and that oh man, I heard it so many times, I got sick of it, did you marry this person because you love them? What in the world, what's happening? What's happening to marriages? It's meant to be the closest union you have with another individual, Song of Solomon chapter 5 verse 16, this is what the wife says about her husband to other ladies, okay, well let's just say his mouth is most sweet she says to the other ladies, you know what, he gives me the best kisses he shows me so much affection, it's so sweet, he is altogether lovely, does it sound like she's bagging out her husband to her girlfriends at the workplace, absolutely not, this is the right approach, you say but you don't understand, Pastor Kevin as a lady, you know we're there for the husbands, we're there raising children we just have to have these friends that we go to and we can vent all our problems and concerns, that's what society has taught you that's not the right approach, ladies if you have concerns and problems things wait on you, you go to your husband you go to him, you go to the guy who's the head of the wife the head of the family, you say but Pastor my husband doesn't listen to me, he doesn't care about my concerns, then you go to his boss, you go to Jesus you go Jesus change his heart, Jesus he's your servant you've put him over this family, can you help him to have a greater love for me and the children, can you help him be a better husband and a better father, you vent to God you take your concerns to God, not to your girlfriends down the road, she keeps going there in Song of Solomon 5.16, this is my beloved look at this, and this is my friend oh daughters of Jerusalem, she's speaking to the other daughters, she speaks to the other ladies in Jerusalem she goes you know what ladies, my husband is my best friend he's my friend, I love him, he shows me affection, he is my friend so you know what, she's not running off to her friends to complain about her husband she's going to the daughters of Jerusalem to tell them, hey my husband's my friend you know your spouse ought to be your best friend, once again your spouse ought to be your best friend, if she's not or if he's not you need to fix that, you need to fix that, okay you want to talk about your spouse to other people, you want to highlight the good things that they do, but you don't understand pastor my husband did this, my wife did that, of course I understand because I'm married as well, okay, I mean if I wanted to complain I can complain as well, and if my wife wanted to complain about me, she could complain about me as well, you know why, because none of us are perfect none of us are perfect, we're all selfish to some extent but you know what, when you get around other people, you make sure your spouse is clearly your best friend, you know you highlight the positive attributes that they have, and they have some positive attributes otherwise you wouldn't have married them, it's just that sometimes in marriage you get fixated on the little problems, on the issues rather than being thankful for the bigger picture, for the spouse, there's a lot of single people that would just love to be married just to be with someone, and then when we're married sometimes we like to complain about that, but no, you know what, we need to consider our spouse our best friend now point number one was take the first step in friendship, point number two is make your spouse your best friend, can you please turn to Colossians chapter 3 turn to Colossians chapter 3 verse number 12 Colossians chapter 3 verse number 12 now one reason generally sometimes people don't want to make friends, is because friends will sometimes do you wrong, right now if my enemy does me wrong, it doesn't really hurt me so much because they're my enemy, I know they don't like me, but when a friend does you wrong it hurts a lot, and sometimes you get the idea well maybe I just want for many friendships, then I won't be hurt okay, no, friends will do you wrong sometimes, okay intentionally, sometimes not even intentionally, okay you can be offended by a friend, but I want you to look at Colossians chapter 3 verse 12, and don't forget this is written to the Colossian church, this is about church, alright church unity, it says in Colossians 3 verse 12 put on therefore as the elect of God, holy and beloved and I'll stop for a minute, it says in verse number 12, put on therefore you need to put this on, in other words God is saying that we're not naturally like this, we need to put an attitude on characteristics on, okay, we've got to change the way we are put on therefore as the elect of God, holy and beloved, look at this bows of mercies, God is saying you need to be more merciful because naturally you're not merciful, when someone does you wrong, you want to write them off completely immediately, that's what the natural man wants to do, so you've got to put on the bows of mercies, kindness humbleness of mind, meekness, long suffering, look at this, look at verse 13, forbearing one another you know what that means, that means in church sometimes people are going to rub you the wrong way, you know they're going to be people that you just, I don't seem to get along with this person but when that happens, you know what, you put on forbearance to forbear means you're putting an effort in, you've got to strive toward it you know what, this person, I don't know man, you know if this was just my work colleague I don't think I'll get along with them, okay but they're a church member they're a brother or sister in Christ, how about you forbear with them, put up with them a little bit more, be a little bit more merciful than you would just a random stranger, it says forbearing one another, look at this, and forgiving one another, forgiving one another, why is that in the bible, Paul is writing to Colossians church he says church you've got to forgive each other, you know why he's saying that, because sometimes in church people offend each other, sometimes you don't get along, something happens and then you start, you break that friendship, or you don't develop that friendship any further and you say well let's just, I'm going to grow cold toward this person, I'm not going to speak to them, I'm not going to care about them, because that's just easier, it is easier, of course it's easier that's the easy way out, just completely ignoring people this is why we're instructed, put on therefore, put on forgiveness, because it's not part of your natural makeup you've got to put it on, you've got to put it on, hey when it comes to friendship you've got to put it on, again I'm introverted, I'm quiet, I'd rather not the friends, but listen if I'm going to have a church of people that are united, if I'm going to have a church where you guys at least appreciate your pastor, I've got to try to be more friendly, I've got to put it on, I've got to put on the mercy I've got to put on the forbearance, and brethren sometimes you've got to forbear with me too, you've got to put that on as well, alright we're here to be friends, to support, to love one another, it continues there, and forgiving one another if any man have a quarrel against any, look at this even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye do you notice that, there is no reason why some conflict in church should continue forever every conflict should be resolved, because it says there if any man have a quarrel against any, even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye, the only if you've got a quarrel against someone, you've got some conflict the only justification of not fixing that actually there is no justification, there is no justification because it says as Christ forgave you, Christ forgave you all, all of it, we need to learn to forgive each other if you want to have friendships, that means when a friend does you wrong, when a friend offends you by word or by deed it's going to be a lot more hurtful, there's going to be a greater desire to just, well that was my friend how dare they do that, now you've got to put up with them, forbear, forgive be merciful, okay because Christ has forgiven you you've got to have the same standard, Christ has forgiven you, you need to learn to forgive your brethren, you know I don't know, I don't want to I don't want to find out about everyone's relationships and everyone's friendships at church but you know what, if there's some friendships that's damaged, you have to fix it fix it, put it on, I know it's not easy, I know it's not comfortable to do but you just have to find a way to fix it, okay, it doesn't mean they have to be your best friend, but there ought to be some friendliness some unity in our church, and I'm not saying there isn't I'm not saying there isn't, but you know, this is the lesson, I don't know, I don't know every relationship in this church I mean, I would be surprised, I'd be surprised if everybody in our church was just best friends with everybody, I don't think that's the case no church is like that, there's always some quarrel, every church that I've been in has been some problem, now the saddest thing is when there's a problem and it causes people to leave the church because of the quarrel rather than it being sorted out instead of there being forgiveness, the saddest thing is when people just leave the church because they it's just an easier way out than trying to fix the problem so the third point brethren is, if you want to show yourself friendly you must be forgiven, you must be forgiven, you know the Bible says I'll just quickly read to you from Matthew 18 verse 15, these are the words of Christ moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee go and tell him his faults between thee and him alone, if he shall hear thee thou has gained thy brother brethren, if someone wrongs you, you take it to that person alone take it to them, it's not, well I want to go talk to the pastor, don't take it to me, unless it's me that you have the problem with but besides, you take it to them, you don't talk to other people about the situation, or you don't take the view, well I just refuse to talk to that person because they've done me wrong, you can't talk to them you've got to sort this out, the purpose behind it is to gain your brother, the purpose behind it is to retain the friendship that's the purpose that you go one on one, you know what if you have a problem with somebody and you go and you talk about it with everybody else or you try to bring it to this pastor, you know what you're communicating, you're communicating that I do not want to reconcile with this individual, I'm going to try to make this situation as complicated, as problematic as I can so I don't have to go and fix it with that person we should learn to be forgiven, okay, third point of friendship is to be forgiven, please turn to Ephesians chapter 4 turn to Ephesians chapter 4 and verse number 2 Ephesians chapter 4 and verse number 2 and it's along the same path here, but yeah be forgiven and point number 4 that I have for you brethren is to maintain peace, which is kind of similar I guess but we want to try to maintain peace, okay, listen we are at war, we're soldiers of the Lord we are constantly at war with a world that hates the Lord we're constantly at war against the forces of the devil and we're constantly at war against his flesh I'm sick of fighting, I've got to fight every day of my life you know every time I'm tempted to commit a sin, I'm warring against his flesh the last thing I want is to be fighting and warring with my brethren, the last thing I want or with some other church, unless they're unsaved heretics different story, I'm just talking about another church of saved brethren I want to be at peace, I want to be at peace with you there's enough battles, it's tiring, okay, if you really want to fight the battle for the Lord, you want to be a good soldier for Jesus Christ, it's tiring and the last thing I want to do is fight you, or see fights within this church and cause conflicts, they're in Ephesians chapter 4 verse 2 we've all lowliness and meekness we've longed suffering, and there's that word again forbearing one another in love listen, this is what a real friend should be like though, you know what, if you have a real friend and they do something wrong, something you don't like, you need to just do your best to lower yourself try to find unity with that person these are not easy things to do, lower yourself as soon as you're offended, what happens, the pride kicks in the anger kicks in, you get heated and you just need to put them down, you lower yourself with long suffering, that's hard I'll admit to you brethren that this is hard I have friends, I'm glad I have friends but if I didn't try to lower myself and be long suffering, they would not be friends today, or probably even vice versa I'm sure, in fact I've offended people I'm just thankful that people that I've offended, some people, wanted to get things right with me, and they've been humble, they've lowered themselves, they've spoken to me nicely and said pastor, you know that time you said this or that that upset me, I'm sorry brother, but you know what when that happens, it brings the unity, it brings peace right, with all loneliness and meekness, with long suffering, forbearing one another in love look at this, endeavouring to keep the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace, endeavouring when you think of that word endeavour, what do you kind of think about when I think of the word endeavour, I'm kind of thinking, going on this long journey like just putting the best I can, like making sure I get something done and I do the very best I possibly can, I put the most effort into something, endeavouring to keep the unity of the spirit and the bond of peace, that's what we should be doing for our church putting everything possibly that we can, all our effort forward to make sure that we form friendships that we maintain peace, that we don't just quarrel and complain and get on each other's nerves all the time, but it requires meekness requires loneliness, humility, long suffering forbearing one another in love, because there ought to be love there ought to be love amongst the brethren, you know there's something wrong if you don't love your brothers in the Lord, you know again I don't always necessarily, I'm not necessarily going to be your best friend you know, we may not always, we may not have the closest interest and just be that close, but one thing I can definitely say is I love you, I can definitely say that I want you to do the best you can for the Lord Jesus Christ in this life the last thing I want to be is a stumbling block in your faith, I want to be an encouragement a motivation, I want to be a positive influence in your life but that doesn't mean we're always going to be the closest people, we may be completely different people, but I still want to be in unity, I still want to have peace with you, I want to be an encouragement to you, and many of you have been an encouragement to me, you know we're almost five years as a church, five years as a pastor and if you guys did not show yourselves friendly to me I think I would have quit a long time ago, in fact we do have a loving church I'm not preaching this because there's major problems in our church, but every church has problems, this is how it is right, this is why we have God's word this is why churches are instructed to put the effort in, to create friendships not to have division, you know, and when problems occur and they will occur, they will happen to you and you'll do it to them we need to go and fix it, okay, take it to that person one on one so we're there to maintain peace, and don't forget we all have weaknesses and we all have faults, we all do we all do, can you please turn to a very familiar passage Proverbs 27 17 please Proverbs 27 17, I was kind of already leading into this, okay but a friend is someone that is that positive influence okay, Proverbs 27 17 Proverbs 27 17 says, iron sharpenerth iron now when we often read that passage, there's a lot of principles that we can take out of that, sometimes we might say hey, you know, in conversation we might sharpen each other like iron, you know when it comes to doctrine for example, we might help each other to understand a doctrine better as we converse and ask questions and give our thoughts toward that, yeah that is iron sharpening iron, but I want you to look at the context, the direct context of this passage, iron sharpenerth iron so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend, the countenance the countenance refers to your face, you know, your outlook to life, a good friend ought to be a positive influence, a good friend ought to be a blessing to you right, when you're cast down and you're going through difficulties a good friend will be someone that comes along and says brother sister, I'll be praying for you, sister is there anything that I can do to help, you know, or someone's cast down and the problems, hey brother yes, you know you go through problems yes you are, it's legitimate, but don't forget, don't forget all the positives that you have in life, don't forget all these other good things that you've got going for you don't be so cast down, you've got other things to be excited about you know, that's what a friend does, it lifts up another person the Bible says in Ecclesiastes 4.9, two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labour, for if they fall the one will lift up his fellow, but woe to him that is alone when he falleth, for he hath not another to help him up the point of a friend is to help you when you fall and when your friend falls, your job as a friend is to lift them up, we must be a positive influence, we must sharpen the countenance of our friends, brethren be a positive influence, please to your friends, now look, I understand in friendship you're also going to share negative times alright, and I'm going to go through this in a moment, but you don't want a friend that just brings you down all the time, you don't want a friend that just keeps you miserable all the time, sometimes we form friendships and we try to remain loyal, but if that person is not sharpening your countenance, you need to start questioning is this a good friend, is this someone that I should have, now again I'm not saying the times are down, they're downcast and you know they're in a negative mood and it's causing you to be a little bit negative, but then you need to be there to lift them up, you know that happens from time to time, right, friendship is give and take, you know sometimes you can help them, sometimes they can help you, there are going to be times of negativity and etc that happens, but when you've got someone that's just negative, negative negative, complain, complain, whine, whine woe is me, you know just constantly it's going to sap your energy, it's going to sap your time and you need to be starting to ask that question, is this the right person, is this someone that I should be a friend with, can you please turn to Mark chapter 5 turn to Mark chapter 5 Mark chapter 5, so I'm not sure how many points that I've got, but the last one there was be a positive influence to your friends the next one that I have here is a great story in Mark chapter 5 verse 18, it's when Jesus Christ healed a demon possessed man, but it says in Mark 5 18 but when he was coming to the ship, oh yeah let me give you the story, so very quickly Christ heals a demon possessed man okay, but then the people of the town, they refuse to have Christ in their town they wanted him to go away, they didn't want Christ to be a trouble maker, so Christ listens, yeah he ends up going back to the ship and sailing to the other side but it says here when he was coming to the ship, he that had been possessed with the devil prayed him that he might be with him, so the man that was healed by the demon possession he wanted to go with Jesus, Jesus take me along with you verse number 19, howbeit Jesus suffered him not, or did not allow him but saith unto him, look at this, I want you to pay attention, go home to thy friends, and tell them how great things the Lord have done for thee, and have had compassion on thee, and he departed and began to publish in Decapolis how great things Jesus had done for him and all men did marvel, so what's the next point that I have for you Reverend, about your friends, share with your friends the great things that Jesus has done for you share with your friends the great things that he's done for you, you know if you're someone that is recently saved, you've heard the message of salvation and there's a fire in your belly, you've learnt the truth you know what you should desire, to find your friends and say friends look what I've learnt about Jesus, let me tell you about how he saved me that's what you should do to your friends, tell them about Jesus you know one of the wrong things, wrong attitude to have is you know especially for those of you that have been saved later in life you've probably had a group of friends, right, they were just ungodly for example, right, and you've gotten saved, and I'm not saying that you've necessarily done this, I don't know, but you know I've heard stories where someone's like well I'm saved you know I want to live godly so I'm not, you know I don't want anything to do with my friends anymore because they're leading me down a bad path, there is some wisdom in that, but before you have nothing to do with your friends, you should be going out there and telling them about what Jesus Christ has done for you and guess what, those that do not want to hear they're going to depart from you, they're going to depart from your friendship because they're going to find you a little bit weird, a little bit too religious for them hey but you know what, these are friends that you developed, these are friends that you cared about you know I love hearing brother Callum's story when he got out of the international church of Christ and when he heard the gospel he tried to track down his old contacts and to give them the gospel but as he discovered brother when he started giving them the gospel those that refused Christ they're going to refuse you, and those friendships end sometimes right hey but at least there's a love for your friends, but you know what yes unsaved friends that's great but hey let's say you have saved friends, let's say you have saved friends at this church, hey we should still communicate to them the great things that Christ has done for us, because it's not just salvation that Christ has given us but he blesses us every day, he's come through, he's answered prayers right, God has done great things for us and we should be willing to testify those things unto our friends if you want to have friendships, in church especially we should speak of Christ, I don't mind speaking about the football once in a while, I don't mind speaking about Quinn and Elizabeth or whatever the passing or some government issue or covid but I love speaking to you guys about the Bible, I want to speak to you about Jesus that's what we have actually the most in common with right, our salvation our deliverance from a sinful world, we should be willing as friends to share the great things that Christ has done for us, and that is a sure way to be a blessing, that is a sure way that iron sharp enough iron when your friend sees how God has come through and done great things for you it's going to encourage them to know that also God can do great things for me too God can answer my prayers too, when I see him answering the prayers of my friends can you please turn to the book of Proverbs Proverbs chapter 16 Proverbs 16 verse 27 there are some friends that you need to be careful of in Proverbs 16 verse 27, look at this the ungodly man diggeth up evil and in his lips there is a burning fire a froward man soweth strife, look at this and a whisperer separateth chief friends listen, there are some friends that you probably have in your life that is exactly what we read in verse 27 the ungodly man diggeth up evil, be careful with some friends that you have, look I understand there are times that you're going to share some burdens but be careful about what you communicate there are some people that just want to dig up dirt they want to find all the evil things about you, in fact many times you'll just know them as the gossiper, they dig up evil about someone, they just can't help themselves but to go find someone they can share that evil with, the gossiper what are they seeking to do, they're seeking to separate chief friends, one mistake that I've made in my life I think we all have made this mistake, is that we consider someone to be a friend they come with private information about someone else they share that and you think, oh man this person really cares for my view my viewpoint, hey they're sharing this sensitive information, they must be a friend to me, but then you start to find out all they do is speak bad about this person, this family at church, these children these women, these men, that pastor is just negative dirt, they try to find as much dirt and they just go around gossiping hey at some point you need to mature in your mind and realise this is not a friend at all, this is not a friend at all because I guarantee you when this is happening, they're digging up dirt on your life and then they go and spread that dirt to other people, they're finding evil in your life and they're gossiping about you, guaranteed 100% if someone is comfortable to gossip to you about someone else they're also gossiping about you to another, that's not a friend you've got to pull away from that person, their desire is to separate chief friends, that is not a friend, that is not a person that's sharp enough iron so I'm not saying just be friendly with everybody, be careful sometimes it's hard to determine, is this a friend or is this someone that's trying to destroy my life and trying to destroy the lives of others we can all dig up dirt, right, an ungodly man diggeth up evil if I spend a week at your house, I'm going to dig up evil in your life, you come spend a week at the pastor's house you're going to dig up some evil in my life, it's not hard to do it's actually quite easy because we're all sinful creatures, like I said we all have faults, it doesn't take long to find problems but look, a friend knows you're not perfect, a friend knows you struggle a friend knows you struggle with sin and weakness, but that friend is there to come along and to encourage, to motivate, especially to motivate you to live a life that is godly, that pleases the Lord be careful of these friends that gossip to you or they want to come, tell me, you know, you're cast down, you've got problems, oh come over for a cup of tea come and share your problems with me, no you've got every right to be downcast oh that person did wrong to you, yeah mate you've got every right to be upset with that person, that is not a friend, I'm telling you now you know what the friend will do? I can understand why that person's upset you I don't need to know about it, the Bible says go and take it to them alone go and talk to them, go form a peace, go fix that conflict that you have with that person, that's what a friend will do, it's not that you don't care about your concerns, you can tell someone right, hey brother, you know, go to your friend brother, listen I've got a problem with someone at church, I won't tell you who it is or what it's about, but can you just pray for me because I want to go and sort this out with them and I don't know what, you know, I don't feel very comfortable doing it, can you please pray that I have the courage and the boldness I have the humility, I can be long suffering, I can be forgiving when I go and talk to that person about the problem, okay absolutely I'll do that you know, that's what a friend does, a friend doesn't say you've got every right to be offended, no no no a friend will encourage you to do what is right, to do what is godly to do what the Bible says, not to be a gossiper can you please go to 1 Corinthians 15, go to 1 Corinthians 15 please, verse number 33 1 Corinthians 15 verse 33 you know, one of my weaknesses is I am a little bit naive, and I'll be honest with you, that's just I am naive, but I think a lot of us can be naive about certain things okay, like, I look at this church and I just want to think the best of you, you know, I just want to think that you all just love the Lord and you just want to do the best you can in life, but as we saw in the morning sermon, you know, the heart is desperately wicked, who can know it, right, so we know that reality as well, but I always think people have the best intentions, just automatically, even if someone does wrong okay, someone does wickedly, I still try to figure out, I try to in my mind think this person must have had some good intention, surely they just messed up on their how they processed or how they acted upon that situation you know, but I want you to notice here in 1 Corinthians 15 verse 33 1 Corinthians 15 verse 33, it says be not deceived, in other words, stop being naive, be not deceived, evil communications corrupt good manners, when it says evil communications, let's talk about our relationships, if you've got bad friends, it's going to corrupt your manners okay, listen, you know, probably some of you I'm sure love this church, okay, but if you get around people that just complain about our church, you know what's going to happen, you're going to start complaining about the church you're going to start finding problems with the church, if you have people that just constantly complain about the past, I don't even know if this goes on, I'm just throwing it out there I've seen it happen in other churches, I'm not speaking out of ignorance here, okay, I've seen these things happen, you know, when people start pointing out problems, look at this, pastor said that he didn't say hello to me, this and that, you know, at first I didn't notice any of this, but now I do, now I realise all these problems and you know what, you think that person's a friend, you think that person's trying to encourage you, but they're not, be not deceived evil communications corrupt good manners, bad friends will make you have bad manners, okay, they will cause you to be downcast depressed and negative, they're going to affect you be careful with the friends that you form, look at verse number 34 awake to righteousness and sin not for some have not the knowledge of God, I speak this to your shame look, that's why it says be not deceived, I speak to your shame you've developed friendships, you've developed closeness, again the Corinthian church, we know the Corinthian church was really messed up, they were putting up with bad friendships, they were putting up with bad people they were just corrupt the church, you know, and sometimes we know that, you know, in first Corinthians chapter 5, if someone is excessively wicked, they should be kicked out of the church, because they're a little leavened leavened off the whole lump, but that is the same in your relationships, in your friendships, you've got someone that is just negative Nancy, is that the term they use, the negative Nancy, just always whining always complaining, everything's horrible, then you're going to start having that same perspective, that everything's horrible, everything's negative and you'll be downcast, but you'll be like, but I've got my friend, we're together, yeah but they've destroyed, you know, your perspective, they've taken you down a dark path, rather than being that person that has sharpened your countenance, you know, the person that I'm thinking about as well, you know, I've had friendships like this and I believe I've used this analogy in other sermons, but I have a term that I call the black hole friend, the black, I've had black hole friends in my life, you know, and you know, generally again because I'm naive, but you're not deceived, right, but you know, again I try, I think people have good intentions, you know, someone reaches out to me, I think hey, we want to be a friend, we want to get along, we want to share life together to some extent right, but then have you ever had a friend, like I said, that just saps all of your positivity, that it's all one way, it's all their problems and they don't care about you, you know, and you know, out of loyalty, out of care you think I need to be a good friend, right, you stick around there but they just, they use you, right, everything all your energy, all your positivity gets sapped into this black hole and you think you're helping them, you say surely, look if I don't stand by this person, you know, who's going to stand with it, surely it's got to be me, but they sapped everything, literally that black hole Brethren, that is not a friend, that is not a friend, okay you're in 1 Corinthians 10 please go to 1 Corinthians 10.24 1 Corinthians 10.24, the Bible says this, let no man seek his own but every man another's wealth you know what a good friend does, a good friend cares for the other person that's what friendship is, remember, you step out, you're the one that shows yourself to be friendly, you show to care for that other person, alright don't look at only for your own needs, but look for the needs of others but the black hole friend, all they care about are their own needs all the time, all the time, and then you get sucked into that relationship, I've had them, I've spoken to church members that have had them as well, and I've had to encourage my church members, listen, that is not a good friend you need to break that off, because they're just leading you down this black hole and there's going to be nothing left of you, by the time they're done with you okay, but a good friend does what, does not seek their own but every man another's wealth, they want to see you flourish, they want to see you happy, they want to see you do well in life, that's what a friend truly is okay, the Bible also says, I'll just read to you, you know this one, Philippians 2 2.4, look not every man on his own things but every man also on the things of others and that's what a friend does, looks at the things of others, how can I be a help to this person is there something that I can do, how can I show friendliness how can I be a blessing to this person, and I've shared with you in my previous sermon that we all have problems we all have weaknesses, you know what being a friend isn't that hard really, isn't that hard, yeah you've got to step out of your comfort zone, but you know what, if you just identify where someone has a need, where someone requires help just step out and say you know what, I'll be the one, I'm going to show myself friendly I want to be a blessing to this person, that's what a friend does okay, how can I bless other people please go to another passage with me please, James chapter 2, go to James chapter 2 this is our conclusion, James chapter 2 I've spoken about our earthly friends, I've spoken about the kind of friend that you ought to be, I've spoken about that when you have conflicts with friends, especially church members, hey you need to sort that out, you put on the mercies, you put on the long suffering, you've got to try really hard, okay and I've spoken about certain friends that you need to avoid, well they really shouldn't be a friend okay, you need to cut them out of your life or they'll destroy you but now let me talk to you about our friendship with God okay, our friendship with God, and you know, again I just put my hand up and I know that I can be a better friend to God I know I can be, you know, and it says here in James chapter 2 verse 23, James chapter 2 verse 23, it says and the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God and it was imputed unto him for righteousness, let's stop there for a moment if you're saved, that's you, you've believed God and it was imputed unto you for righteousness, you're righteous before God because you've placed your faith on the Lord God, amen, you're saved the moment you're saved you become a child of God, you're part of his family that's not going to change, but notice what else was said about Abraham following this, it says, and he was called the friend of God, he was called the friend of God, Abraham got saved, praise God for that, but you know what, Abraham said, you know what, I don't want to just be saved I want to be God's friend, brethren, that's what we need to that's how we ought to be in life, you want to do better you want to be more spiritual, you know, you want to overcome sin then, like, you know, you need to get rid of your bad friends that are causing you to sin, number one, but you need to have the best friend you need to be the one that will encourage you, iron sharpener for iron if God's sharpening you, you're going to turn out to be pretty cool pretty good, okay, as a Christian, but what do you need, you need to be his friend you need to be God's friend, there are many people that are saved many people that are saved, but they don't spend time reading the Bible you know, there's probably someone in this church that's never read the Bible cover to cover but what is the Bible? The Bible are God's words to us, it's how he speaks to us, and when we go to God in prayer, that's when we speak to God what is a friendship? I mean, look, I have children, they're brought in my family nothing's going to change that, but you know what, not only am I a father to them but I also try to be a friend, I've got a lot of friends at home I try to get along with my children, I want to be a positive influence to them but you know what that requires? That requires speaking to them that requires spending time with them, that's what a friend is, right? You spend life together, you speak to one another, you communicate well this is how God speaks to you, and if you never pick that Bible up, and just sits on your shelf, you're saying to your friend I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to hear from you if you don't go to God in prayer, and I think we could be praying a lot more you're saying to God, God I don't want to talk to you, what kind of friend are you then? What kind of friend are you to God? I mean, let's say you've got a human friend, my wife, I told you she's my best friend but what if I just go by life never speaking to her, never caring for her never wondering how can I be a blessing to her, never opening my mouth because she's got nothing good to say to me, or whatever, I mean what kind of friendship is that? That's going to end in marital problems maybe divorce if Abraham was a friend to God, you know that he acted as a friend to God, you know that he spent time praying to the Lord in fact many times in the book of Genesis we read that he called upon the name of the Lord he was constantly communicating with the Lord there was a time when God physically visited Abraham, and Abraham was hey God, come and stay at my house, come and stay for a meal, you may remember that before God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, that's the kind of friend that Abraham was to God, he wanted God in his house do you want God at your house? Or would you be ashamed to bring him into your house? I don't know man, maybe there are things in my house that I'd be ashamed about but if God is my friend I should be willing to work with him in every area of my life, I should be willing to pick up the Bible and say hey friend, what do you have to say to me today? I want to be sharpened by the most powerful iron, the most righteous and perfect iron that exists, let me be sharpened by that one that's going to help my countenance, that's going to help my outlook to life when I form a friendship with God, let me encourage you in that area let me encourage you to be a friend to God, go to James 4 now James 4 verse number 4 this will help you be a good judge on whether you're a friend to God or not, James 4 verse number 4 know ye not that the friendship of the world, who's your friend? Is God your friend? Or do you have a friendship with the world? It says know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity that's like enemy, with God, look at this whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is an enemy of God, he's speaking to believers, he's speaking to believers that are committing spiritual adultery against the Lord God, he says look you love the world too much, you're too much of a friend to a wicked world and by being a friend to that world you've become an enemy to God you see you have a choice, salvation is free Jesus Christ, he showed his friendliness toward us laying down his life, what a friend we have in Jesus but then what kind of friend are you to the Lord God? You say I love the Lord, I'm his friend but I love the world and I'm a friend to this world, it can't be, it can't be as a Christian we have to decide who is our friend where do I want my friendship to be residing in this world or my Jesus Christ, my Lord God who is my friend? And you can't have one foot in the world one foot in the Lord and say you're a friend of God, it cannot be Reverend let me encourage you, be a friend to God, he's the best friend you'll ever have, he'll never leave you, never forsake you he won't offend you, you offend him every day sin is the transgression of his law, every time you sin, you sin every day you offend God every day, every day, could you imagine having a friend that just every day offends you every day offends you, you'd be like I'm sick of this person but God is long suffering, his mercies are new every morning every morning his mercies are new, praise God for a good friend that he is to me but I can't always say that I'm the best friend to God so it's definitely an area in our life that we need to fix, alright Reverend once again Proverbs 18 24, a man that have friends must show himself friendly and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother, let's pray thank you for your word, Lord thank you for being such a great friend, Lord thank you for loving us so much, for sending your son to die in my place, Lord thank you for Jesus Christ so much and God I'm sorry that I've not been the kind of friend that I ought to be toward you Lord I'm sure there are many in our church that would feel the same way as well, Lord we make too many friendships in this world, too much attraction to this world and Lord I just pray you'd encourage us, you'd motivate us Lord that you'd sharpen us Lord with an eye and sometimes that sharpening can be a little bit tough Lord but we need to receive it, we need to be convicted Lord, we need to be chastised sometimes we need to be dealt with Lord sometimes as disobedient children Lord we don't want to be your enemies, Lord we thank you so much for the salvation and we want to be your friend, Lord help us to love your word, help us to spend time with you and thank you so much Lord that you're a God that answers our prayers, we pray these things in Jesus name Amen, alright Reverend let's turn to hymn number 115 hymn number 115 Let's sing No One Ever Cared For Me Like Jesus, 115 No One Ever Cared For Me Like Jesus No One Ever Cared For Me Like Jesus No One Ever Cared For Me Like Jesus No One Ever Cared For Me Like Jesus No One Ever Cared For Me Like Jesus No One Ever Cared For Me Like Jesus No One Ever Cared For Me Like Jesus No One Ever Cared For Me Like Jesus No One Ever Cared For Me Like Jesus No One Ever Cared For Me Like Jesus No One Ever Cared For Me Like Jesus No One Ever Cared For Me Like Jesus No One Ever Cared For Me Like Jesus No One Ever Cared For Me Like Jesus Let us allow peace, let us allow peace Let us allow peace, let us allow peace Let us allow peace, let us allow peace Let us allow peace, let us allow peace Let us allow peace, let us allow peace Let us allow peace, let us allow peace Let us allow peace, let us allow peace Let us allow peace, let us allow peace Let us allow peace, let us allow peace Let us allow peace, let us allow peace Let us allow peace, let us allow peace Let us allow peace, let us allow peace Let us allow peace, let us allow peace Let us allow peace, let us allow peace Let us allow peace, let us allow peace Let us allow peace, let us allow peace Let us allow peace, let us allow peace Let us allow peace, let us allow peace