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Good morning brethren. Please take your Bibles and turn to Ruth chapter 3. Turn to Ruth chapter 3. It's good to be back. I really appreciate Pastor Stevenson covering the preaching for the week of the birth of the baby. Thank you for your prayers. Baby seems to be in excellent health. Christina, my wife, is recovering very well. So I really appreciate your prayers and your messages of hope and love. Really appreciate that. I can't wait to get back into the preaching. All right, so take your Bibles and look at Ruth chapter 3. We've been going chapter by chapter through the book of Ruth. And the title for the sermon this morning is, Tips on Finding a Husband. Tips on Finding a Husband. So obviously this is a message directed to single ladies. A message related, you know, to girls that grow up and they want to get married. Hey, let's look at the Bible. Let's see what kind of advice we can get from the Bible. The kind of man that you ought to be looking for. The kind of person you ought to become. You know, preparing yourself to get married. So this one's really targeted to single ladies seeking to get married. But at the same time, you know, men, you know, single men, you can get something out of this as well. Because if the Bible tells the single lady, this is the type of man that you need to be looking for, well, then you ought to be striving to be that man, that biblical man that we read about here in the book of Ruth. Okay, the book of Ruth really is a love story. It's a love story between Ruth and Boaz. And now we start to see things develop into a relationship, into marriage. Look at verse number one. Ruth chapter three, verse number one. Then Naomi, her mother-in-law, said unto her, My daughter, shall I not seek rest for thee, that it may be well with thee? Now when Naomi, her mother-in-law, says here that she wants it to be well with Ruth, she's speaking about marriage. Okay, she's saying, look, I want things to be well with you. And brethren, that's what marriage is. Marriage is something good. Marriage is something that will be well for you. Okay, marriage ought to be something that you look forward to, that you're excited about. It'll do well for you. And Naomi here is looking out for her daughter-in-law. You know, 1 Timothy 5 14 says, I will therefore, that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary, to speak reproachfully. You know, just this past week, I was messaged by a lady, and she was saying, look, I just want to know what God's will is for my life. I want to walk in accordance to God's will. I'm still seeking God to show me what he wants me to do. Well, 1 Timothy 5 14 tells you what it is. I will, therefore, that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house. What does God want for the young women, for the young unmarried woman to get married, have children, guide the house, hey, be a homemaker, be a housekeeper, be that help, you know, that's meat for her husband. That's the will of God. It's not God's will that you would go and seek a career outside of the home. It's not God's will for you to take your children and dump them, you know, to another family or to some, you know, childcare center, things like that. No, God's will for the young lady is to get married, hey, this will be well for you. You know, you shouldn't despise getting married. You know, I've also met ladies that never wanted to get married. They say, oh, you know, I just don't think I'll get married one day. You know, it's not my desire. It's not what I want. But actually, no, it is the will of God that younger women marry. Also notice in verse number 1 in Ruth chapter 3, Naomi said, my daughter, shall I not seek rest for thee? You see, getting married is having an element of rest as well. You know, what does that mean? It's because remember the story. Remember how Ruth had to go and glean from the harvest. Okay, she wasn't a worker in the harvest. She wasn't a worker on the land. Go back to the previous sermon to remember that. But she did have to go to work. She worked all day to get the grain of barley that she needed to feed herself and her mother-in-law. So without a husband as a widow, with a mother-in-law being a widow as well, without having a man in the house, these ladies were put in a difficult position where they had to go to work. You know, and this is the situation for, you know, single mothers. Single mothers, yes, you know, it's not God's will for you to, or it's God's will for you to have a husband. You know, it's God's will that that man will provide for you. But when you haven't got the husband, when you fall pregnant outside of wedlock, or if your relationship ends in a divorce or something like that, look, that woman, that mother will have no choice but to go and work. Okay, and that's not God's calling. We'll look at this later. That's not God's calling for a woman. In fact, actually keep your finger there and go to Genesis 3 for me. Go to Genesis 3, and I'm saying this is not the calling for a woman, you know, it's not God's intention for a woman, but when mistakes are made, when marriages fall apart, you know, you don't do things in accordance to God's word, single mothers will find themselves in a position where they're going to have to start working. Okay, and Naomi wants her daughter-in-law to rest. She says, look, you better rest. Instead of you working all your life, I want you to rest. I want you to find a husband that here will go out and work, here will go out and provide, here will make sure the needs and necessities are met in the home. Look at Genesis 3 verse 16. Genesis 3 verse 16, of course, this is the curse that fell upon man and woman and the entire world, but in verse number 16 it says, unto the woman, that's to Eve, he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception in sorrow thou shall bring forth children, and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. What is God's will for a woman? That she bears children, right? And through that process of bearing children, it says here, her sorrow, the difficulty will be multiplied, okay? It is a difficult thing on the body, you know, mentally for a woman to give birth. Hey, but it works, okay? And in that sense, you bring forth your children, you raise your children, the woman's desire is here to be to her husband, and it says, and he shall rule over thee. The husband's job is to be the ruler, to be the one in authority in the family home, okay? And the one that's in authority is the one that has to make sure that those that are under his authority are taken care of. Those that are under his authority are being fed, they're getting the food they need, okay? It's not for his wife or, you know, the man's wife to go and have a necessity to provide for the family, that ought to fall upon the shoulders of the husband, that ought to fall upon the shoulders of the man. You know, when I first got married, actually, I should, before I got married, my wife, well, she wasn't my wife yet, obviously, she was working as a medical center receptionist. And we knew what the Bible said, we knew that really, at the end of the day, it's my responsibility if we are to get married to provide, and we made the decision for her to quit her job before we got married, and for myself to provide to have that single income, it wasn't much, we could barely rent, we rented a small granny flat, the back of a house, it was more of a shed. Hey, but it taught us some very valuable lessons, it taught us to live in our means, it taught us to, you know, for me to focus on my work, to focus on getting promotions, to focus on getting a bigger pay rise, so in the future, I could make sure that I could provide for my family. There's never been a day where my wife has had to go to work, you know, and I'm not saying this to boast, you know, we live in Sydney, the housing market is very expensive, it's very expensive to live in Sydney, I mean, it's one of the most expensive cities to live in in the world, and, you know, pretty much most people are able to afford, you know, loans, buy cars, you know, live because they believe by having two incomes, you know, the husband working, the wife working, they can provide. Hey, but, you know, God could see our sincerity, God could see that we're trying to live in accordance to his ways, and he always made sure that we were provided for, he always made sure that we could pay our bills, you know, the necessities were taken care of, you know, we didn't live richly, but we never were poor either, we always had what we needed because God provides. Let's keep going, look at verse number 17. And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it, cursed is the ground for thy sake. In sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life. Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee, and thou shalt eat the herb of the field. Now notice verse number 19. In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground, for out of it was thou taken, for thus thou art, and unto thus thou shalt return. So what is the curse that falls upon Adam? His need to provide. Now listen, Adam was already working before the curse failed, right? God put Adam in the Garden of Eden, it was his job to till it, to take care of it, but then it got more difficult after the curse, that these thorns and thistles would come forth, you know, working wouldn't be easy, it would require some hardships, it would require removing those thorns to allow good fruit to produce from the land, and so it was man's responsibility to make sure he could provide for his wife, provide for his family, okay? And that's why it was important for Ruth to take rest. She was working a man's job, she was providing for her family in a sense, when really that should have been the job of a man, but there was no man, and she was in this situation where she had to work, okay? And the first point that I have here with tips on finding a husband, tips on finding a husband, is seek consultation, seek consultation, okay? Now what do we notice in verse number one? That Naomi, her mother-in-law said unto her, speaking about this marriage, you'll soon see how this all plays out, you know, speaking about, you know, Boaz, and speaking about the need to get married, you see Ruth was able to talk to Naomi, alright? And this is what's really good about seeking consultation, you know, young ladies, when you start to fall in love with a man, you're interested in a man, you should go to someone, in fact you should go to your parents, okay? You should go to the people that have some level of maturity, life experience, or even just Christian maturity, and ask them, what do you think? You know, should I get married to this individual? What are your thoughts? You know, is there anything you think I need to work on in order to get myself ready for marriage? Ruth had Naomi, her mother-in-law, you know, to seek advice from, and here's the thing about Naomi, Naomi knew Ruth very well, she wanted Ruth to rest, she loved her daughter-in-law, she cared for her daughter-in-law, right? She wanted the best for her daughter-in-law, but at the same time, Naomi also knew Boaz because he was a relative, he was like a cousin to the family, and so she was the perfect person to seek consultation from, you know, she wanted the best for Ruth, but she also knew the kind of man that Boaz was, and young ladies, when you're seeking consultation on who to marry, you need to go to the people that love you most, go to the people that care for you, that want you to be rested, they don't want your marriage to fall apart, they don't want you to end in divorce, they don't want you to end as a single mother of children, you know, ask them, but also ask people that know the man you're interested in, you know, ask them, you know, what they think of that man, what kind of reputation does this man have, seek consultation, look at verse number two in Ruth chapter three, Ruth chapter three verse two, and now is not Boaz of our kindred, with whose maidens thou wast, behold he winnoweth barley tonight in the freshing floor, okay, so Naomi says, look, I want things to be well with you, hey, that Boaz, remember that Boaz, we're here today, you see, it appears to me anyway that Boaz's special attention to Ruth went unnoticed by her, but he went noticed by Naomi, okay, and I think this can happen sometimes, I think, you know, when a man is interested in a young lady, he might show her special kindness, you know, above and beyond, you know, just trying to show her, hey, you know, actually, I'm interested in you, I think you're a, you're a high, you know, someone of high quality and, you know, someone of virtue, someone that I'd be interested in, and they might be kind toward you, they might be very, and we saw how kind Boaz was toward Ruth in the previous chapter, I think this went over Ruth's head, but not to Naomi, Naomi said, hold on, you know, he's been very kind to you, look how much grain he's given you, I think this is a man that you need to get married to, okay, so here we have Naomi giving consultation unto Ruth, and notice what it says here, it says in verse number two, the second half of it, behold, he winnoweth barley tonight in the freshen floor, so winnoweth, that's an interesting word, now let me just explain the process of harvest, so once obviously, once grain has grown on the land, it gets harvested, doesn't it, it gets harvested, but then after it's harvested, that grain is fresh, okay, and the purpose for freshen, and you can see here, behold, he winnoweth barley tonight in the freshen floor, the purpose of freshen is to separate the grain from the stalks, okay, so you've harvested, you've cut the stalks down, you've got the grain, but you've also got the stalks, and by freshing the stalks, you're going to separate the stalks from the grain, but then there's another process that needs to take place, because as things start to separate, you've got the grain, and you still have the husk around the grain, maybe some of the husk has fallen off, but usually some of that husk is still on the grain, so then the next process takes place, which is called winnowing, okay, to winnow is to allow, is to separate the husk from the grain, and this usually has to do with, you know, you might get some grain, you might rub it with your hands and you blow on it, this is something Jesus Christ did with his disciples, and when you blow on it, because the husk is lighter, the wind will blow away, the husk or the chaff, sometimes the bible refers to it as that, and you're left with a heavier substance, which is the grain, and the grain is what you can eat, okay, so what's interesting about this is that Naomi knew that Boaz will still be on the land working, okay, and this is point number two, this is point number two that I have for you young ladies, is to ensure that he is a working man, make sure the man that you're seeking to get married is a working man first, it's easy to fall in love with with some man, but make sure he's a working man, Naomi knew that Boaz would be on the field, she knew that he'll be there, you know, a winnow in Bali that very night, okay, and you know, I've stressed this a number of times in different sermons, you know, especially, I know how much, you know, single men, single Christian men desire to get married, you know, and they're seeking a wife, but the first thing you ought to be doing is making sure you have a permanent full-time job, making sure that you can provide, make sure that you're saving up, okay, because that's the kind of man that, you know, your future wife's wife would want to marry, and also the people that love that future wife, her parents, her family, want to see her go into the hands of a man who will provide, you know, Naomi saw that Ruth or that Boaz was a man that could provide the needs for Ruth, ensure that he is a working man, once again, Naomi knew that he was working, why is this important, you know, it's important for you to understand, hey, is this man that I'm married, does he have a job, does he hold down a job, has he saved up, you know, leading up to getting married, has he had a mind for the future, has he had a mind for provision, or is he wasting his substance, is this someone that can't keep down a job, you need to think about this, this is so important, the Bible says in Proverbs 12 27, the slothful man roasteth not that which he took in hunting, but the substance of a diligent man is precious, what's it saying there, instead of, you know, if you're not a working man, you're going to become a slothful man, and young ladies, you don't want to marry a man that's slothful, you don't want to marry a man that's lazy, a man that can't hold down a job, okay, a man who quits before he, you know, succeeds in the workplace, before he succeeds or sees out his contract, you don't want a man that's a quitter, because the Bible said here that the slothful man roasteth not that which he took in hunting, either the slothful man has nothing to eat, okay, the slothful man has nothing to provide, how is he going to marry you and provide for you and provide for the children if he's not a working man, okay, but the Bible told us, but it said here, but the substance of a diligent man is precious, you want a man who works, you want a man who's diligent in his workplace, you know, because he'll have substance, he'll have things to take care of you, to provide your needs. Proverbs 15 verse 19 says the way of the slothful man is an hedge of thorns, but the way of the righteous is made plain. So the way of a slothful man is an hedge of thorns. Now normally if you have a hedge, you want it to be, you want it to look good, right, you'll take care of a hedge, you know, you'll have different plants, different flowers growing on that hedge, but the slothful man's hedge is made up of thorns, and this is why he struggles in the way because instead of being able to progress in life, instead of being able to get, you know, take positions of promotions, you know, take steps forward in life, he's always going to have this hedge of thorns that he's battling, it's always going to prevent him from moving forward, from having things easy, when it comes to thorns like we saw with Adam, it's to create more difficulties, it's to make his life harder, the slothful man has a harder life, you know, but then it says about the way of the righteous is made plain, okay, so the righteous man, the hard working man, the man that's not lazy will have a much easier life, okay, he'll be able to progress, he'll have a way they can walk, he won't be stopped by a hedge of thorns in his path because he's diligent, because he's righteous, because he's a hard worker, because he can provide for a wife, so ladies, you know, number one was seek consultation, you know, seek the wisdom of other people that care for you and that know that man, but number two, ensure that he is a working man, all right, look at Ruth chapter 3 verse 3, Ruth continues to give her advice and say, sorry, Naomi continues to give Ruth advice, wash thyself therefore and anoint thee and put thy raiment upon thee and get thee down to the floor, but make not thyself known unto the man until he shall have done eating and drinking and it shall be and it shall be when he lieth down that thou shall mark the place where he shall lie and thou shall go in and uncover his feet and lay thee down and he will tell thee what thou shall do and she said unto her all that thou sayest unto me I will do and she went down onto the floor and did according to all that her mother-in-law bade her and when Boaz had eaten and drunk and his heart was merry he went to lie down at the end of the heap of corn and she came softly and uncovered his feet and laid her down and it came to pass at midnight that the man was afraid and turned himself and behold a woman lay at his feet and he said, who art thou and she answered I am Ruth thine handmaid spread therefore thy skirt over thine handmaid for thou art a near kinsman. Now this process would seem very unusual to us today okay but what Ruth was letting Boaz know by this process was that she was number one interested in him and number two looking to get married okay interested in him and looking to get married so the advice that Naomi gave is look go to him while he's laying down while he's sleeping lay at his feet uncover his feet okay now whether this is a process of waking him up in a sense um you know and and for her to ask that she be covered with with his skirt like that he would take his coat or take his blanket whatever it was that he had and that he would cover her you know and that would signify uh marriage that would signify our desire to get married that is something that's traditional and uh but we'll get into that in a moment but the what I want you to notice that point number three the third tip that I have for you uh to get married is make it known that you are seeking marriage okay so Naomi's telling Ruth look let him know that you're interested in getting married let him know that you'd like to get married to him okay now you know quite often and I agree with this quite often it's thought that it's the man that should approach it's the man that should make it known his interests absolutely I grew that as well but sometimes men need a little bit of help okay sometimes you know men may not realize that that lady would is also interested in him okay and if you make it known in this case this process of you know laying at his feet uh was to make it known at least sometimes you will need to make it known to some extent and uh if you notice if you look back in verse number three for a minute one way to make it known was the instruction was to wash herself obviously uh uh Ruth had spent all day working so she I'm sure she looked very dirty sweaty you know and she goes look look go have a shower go wash up get go get clean and then anoint thee you know put some oil or perfume on you know and then it says and put thy raiment upon thee so obviously this was a very nice dress you know so she she was coming to present herself before Boaz you know she was showing that yeah you know she is interested she was trying to make herself presentable and she expressed interest in marriage by lying at the feet of of Boaz and so this is quite interesting because keep your finger then go to Ezekiel go to Ezekiel chapter 16 say why does this tie into marriage are you sure you're reading this right pastor Kevin yes I am because later in the book of Ezekiel chapter 16 God takes this same process that that occurred between Ruth and Boaz and speaks about his relationship with the nation of Israel so Ezekiel chapter 16 verse 8 notice this Ezekiel chapter 16 verse 8 the bible reads now when I passed by thee and looked upon thee behold thy thy time was a time of love and look at this and I spread my skirt over thee and covered thy nakedness yay I swear unto thee and entered into a covenant with thee sayeth the Lord so the Lord is saying look I've entered into a covenant and of course marriage is a covenant it's you know the marriage covenant you know and and the Lord is taking the same principle of taking his skirt and covering you know and the reference he is about Jerusalem okay covering Jerusalem with his skirt and it says look we've entered into a covenant and so when but when when Ruth was asking Boaz to cover her you know she was basically asking will you marry me you know will you consider me for marriage all right so she actually made it known that she was the one that was interested and God takes that illustration God takes that tradition and applies it to you know as an illustrative purpose with his relationship with Jerusalem look at verse number nine uh verse number nine then washed I thee with water and notice what did what was instructed of Ruth to do to wash herself right and it says here yay I thoroughly washed away thy blood from thee and I anoint thee with oil what else did Ruth have to do she anointed herself right so you can see these same things playing out here then look at verse number 10 I clothed thee also with broidered work what was Ruth instructed to do to put on a nice dress okay to put on raiment and then it says here and shod thee with badger skin and I go to thee about with fine linen and I covered thee with silk and so just to show you there you can go back to Ruth now with chapter three just to show you how you know when when God speaks about his relationship with Jerusalem he takes that picture of Ruth's desire to get married to Boaz you know and then applies that with his relationship his covenant that he has with Jerusalem and of course the covenant that Ruth and Boaz wanted to enter into was the marriage covenant and so you know it is always awkward I think it's always awkward to uh let somebody know that you're interested but it's so important it does help the process along all right now um oh just like just a very quick story I remember the first time that somebody was interested in me I was in the seventh grade all right and you know how it is you know I had there was somebody that was interested in me and she sent her friends all right she sent her friends and her friends came up to me and said something along the lines of you know my friend over there she's interested in you did you know she's interested in you and I you know and I'm in the seventh grade you know I I'm I'm just how old I was probably 12 or 13 years old or something along those lines and I you know I'm really thinking at that point I'm too young to get married like what's what's the point of having a girlfriend at that age you know that's my thought I don't I'm too young to get married I don't have work you know I actually I'm more interested in just being a single guy you know I'm hanging around my friends playing basketball whatever other activities I used to do and but I was also shy at the response I was very shy and I think I just said something like okay and I just left it there you know trying not to express my interest in return I think this is very important because you know you don't want to lead someone on in a relationship if you're not interested in them you know I personally had a rule where if I dated somebody if I kind of wasn't interested in someone I would date them once maybe twice okay and I would at that point and I don't you know this is just my I just I'm just telling you how I feel about this I'm not necessarily saying this is the best way to do things but by my first date with somebody I I already knew whether I thought this person was someone I could marry or not and if I looked at it and I thought look this is not someone that I think I can spend the rest of my life with this is someone that I can't marry I would end that relationship right there okay you'd get like one date out of me because you know my mother had instructed me to make sure that I look for a wife you know I didn't want to be like the rest of this world you know I didn't want to play around and you know you know break the hearts of you know I didn't want my heart broken I didn't want to break other girls hearts so it was all about you know can I find that one person that I know that I can spend the rest of my life with and of course that became eventually my wife you know I took it out on a date I thought she was wonderful I took it out for a second date and I think actually my first date I knew I was going to marry this woman all right but the thing is I didn't want to lead someone on and you know I just felt if we had one date you know we weren't very you know attracted to one another you know you wouldn't be tempted to necessarily commit fornication because you've just sort of you know just met for the first time or gone out for the first time and it was just easier to break off a relationship there weren't a lot of emotions there weren't a lot of baggage there wasn't a lot of history and that way breaking that relationship at that point was a lot easier you weren't necessarily breaking someone's heart you know in any significant sense and so it is important to let people know that you're interested now you may have to find some other ways you know you know maybe if you're a young lady maybe your parents can sort of get the information out there you know they might you know say something to other people oh you know my daughter you know she's looking to get married she's hoping to find a husband and you don't know that message will eventually start to filter through different people different families and at some point some young man will hear that and go oh okay you know and he might make some steps forward to to see if it is a possible match with with that young that young girl but what I do want to you know talk about here as well is you know I'm not talking about flirting here okay because the world considers letting someone know that you're interested in them they would look at that and say well that's what you got that's why you've got to flirt okay but when it comes to worldliness and and flirting with somebody you know obviously that has to do with a physical attraction that has to do with you know lust you know and here's the thing about showing someone showing that you're interested it's not about you know there's nothing wrong with a young lady smiling at someone that she's interested you know letting him know making conversation you know kind of letting him know that she's interested in that person interested to to spend her life for that person that's very different from being flirtatious okay and so here's the thing because a lot of young ladies obviously they might see television shows or they might read certain magazines or see things online and they think the way they should present themselves is in a very flirtatious manner now look if you do that you will find men that are interested in you but they're going to be the scum of the earth they're going to be worldly men that have just one desire to take advantage of you and not to marry you you want to find a man that will love you that will take care of you you want to find the man that will protect you provide for you and you know to be that faithful loving husband unto you and so you know you make sure you know you you want to let them know that you enjoy their company okay so it's not about being flirtatious it's just about letting that person know hey i enjoy your company you make me smile i feel good around you okay so this goes both ways you know men should do that you know to a lady let them know they're interested ladies ought to do it to to the man we see here in the bible obviously naomi giving the advice to roof hey make yourself presentable let him know that you're interested in marriage okay back to roof chapter 3 please roof chapter 3 verse 10 roof chapter 3 verse 10 it says here and he said blessed be thou of the lord so these are the words of boaz now okay boaz has heard roof she he's found her sleeping at her feet and she says he says blessed be thou of the lord my daughter what do you notice about boaz he's a godly man he's a man who thinks about the lord and immediately he just desires that roof would be blessed and he says here for thou has showed more kindness in the latter end than at the beginning in as much as thou followest not young men whether poor or rich and now my daughter fear not i will do to thee all that thou requirest for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman so the fourth point that i have for you young ladies here is to desire a godly man desire a godly man what are the four points so far number one was to uh seek consultation number two is to ensure that he is a working man number three make it known that you are seeking marriage and number four desire a godly man a godly man okay because a godly man is actually hard to find but it's the godly man that will love you that will take care of you psalm 12 verse 1 says uh help lord for the godly man ceaseth for the faithful fail from among the children of men so you can see that the psalmist says that a godly man is a faithful man the godly man ceaseth the faithful fail from among the children of men there aren't many men that are godly there aren't many men that are faithful and you want to find the one that is godly the one that is faithful you know a godly man is a faithful man man you're not going to find him at the pubs and the clubs that's not a godly man that's not a faithful man where are you going to find the faith where are you going to find the godly man you're going to find him at church you're going to find him serving the lord if he's a godly man if he's a faithful man you'll want to be nowhere else but church to serve the lord you know working in in in service for the lord that's the kind of man that you ought to be looking for boas was that kind of man you know you you want to you know you will know that he's a godly man for two main reasons as we saw with boas number one he openly speaks about the lord doesn't he you know boas immediately just speaks about the lord you know asking the lord to bless ruth but number two he values kindness and virtue what did it say there in verse number verse number 10 he says uh it says here for thou has showed more kindness in the latter end than at the beginning you know he's been watching ruth he's he's seen her develop into a very kind person she's more kind now than she was when he first met her you know he values kindness and then at the end of verse number 11 it says for all the city of my people doff know that thou art a virtuous woman so look at boas a faithful man a godly man what kind of woman is he interested in he's interested in the woman who is who is kind he's interested in the woman that is virtuous okay so that that's that's a that's a great truth there and of course for the young ladies you know if you're seeking to be a you know attractive to a godly man you've got to show kindness you've got to show virtue you know and one of the one of the key passages in the bible that speaks about the virtuous woman is proverbs 31 you know you know read proverbs 31 if you're a single young lady that's the kind of woman that you want to work toward being okay you're not you're not going to be there from day number one okay but you want to be able to work toward that okay and a godly faithful man will see that you are a virtuous woman the bible says in proverbs 31 10 who can find a virtuous woman for her price is far above rubies so it is difficult to find a godly man but it's also difficult to find a virtuous woman okay and the godly man is seeking a virtuous woman proverbs chapter 12 verse 4 says a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband but she that maketh ashamed is as rotten as in his bones why does a godly man want a virtuous woman because he's looking for a crown okay he's looking for someone of value you see a crown makes somebody look good you know it shows that person that he's got power he's got authority he's got riches and listen a virtuous woman is a woman that will that will make you rich you know it's a woman that will give you strength you know when i think about my my wife man you know i'm so thankful that god has given me my wife i i do look at her as a crown you know as something that is beautiful something that is that is valuable you know and i don't know what i do without my wife she makes me look good you know like a crown makes a king look good and so number four point number four was desire a godly man riff chapter three verse 12 roof chapter three verse 12 reads and now it is true that i am thy near kinsmen so boas and yep i'm your near kinsman i'm a cousin to your family how be it there is a kinsman nearer than i am so boa says look i actually know this there's actually someone else another relative that's actually closer than i am okay now why is this why is this being brought up it's because if you look back in riff chapter one look at riff chapter one verse 11 after naomi husband passed away and her two sons passed away and she's left with two single daughter-in-laws she says in verse number 11 and naomi said turn again my daughters why will you go with me are there yet any more sons in my womb that they may be made may be made that they may be your husbands and so obviously this is found in judo on me chapter 25 verse 5 i talked about this when i covered riff chapter one and just very briefly the the the teaching is that if a a man uh passes away before his wife is able to fall pregnant before she's able to have children then by law she was to be given to the next brother in the family and he was to take her as a wife and and bring a seed unto the name of of his brother that that would be the first child and then the other subsequent children will be a seed unto his own name and so this is this is a teacher now if you were to take that in a very literal sense you know and we should take the bible literally okay but one thing we need to be careful of as well is that we need to make sure that you know we we don't just obey the law the letter of the law but the spirit of the law okay but before i get onto that just just keep that in mind but before i get into it let's keep reading verse number 13 tarry this night and it shall be in the morning that if he will perform unto thee the part of the kinsman well let him do the kinsman part but if he will not do the part of the kinsman to thee then will i do the part of the kin the kinsman to thee as the lord liveth lie down until the morning and she lay at his feet until the morning and she rose up before no one could know another before one could know another and he said let it not be known that a woman came into the floor okay so the fifth point that i have for you young ladies is choose a man of commitment choose a man of commitment okay or a man of duty a man that sees out his duty that does his duty that keeps his commitments see boas said hold on yes i am a new kinsman i am someone that in accordance to the law of moses that i should be the next person that takes you as a wife because you've not had children but he says but there is someone closer there is a kinsman closer let's go and check with him first whether he would like to take you as a wife and if he doesn't take you as a wife then i will step in and i will do my obligation i will do my duty and take you as a wife okay so he's a man of commitment he's a man who does his duty and as i was saying you know this is this is a great example of boas a man who would not just obey the letter of the law but the spirit of the law okay because again you take it at a very literal level it was the brother it was it was the you know a full-blooded brother that grew up with that man that would take that woman as his wife the law doesn't say anything about a cousin having to take her as a wife but here's the thing it's not about the man that law was put in place for the woman it was put in place so the widow was able to you know legally there'd be a sort of a um let's use that word again duty of a man to take her and to care for her you know to provide for her so she wouldn't be alone that she would have a husband okay and so this law was put into place in Deuteronomy for for the protection of the widow all right and so boas recognizes the spirit of the law is yeah okay literally i'm not a brother but by the spirit of the law she's to be taken care of and i'm one of those that would be next down the line in order to do that okay so is a man of his duty he's a man of commitment okay and again this is why a working man finding a working man is so important okay because it requires commitment it is the duty of a man to be working it is the requirement of god for a man to work and provide for his family to see out his commitments why is that important you know why is it important that a man you know sees out his employment contract you know why is it important that a man keeps the job holds down a job you know does does well keeps his commitments does his duty because if he doesn't if he's not a man of commitment then what's guaranteeing you that he's going to see out his commitment in marriage okay what's seen what what you know how can you be sure this man who doesn't do his own duty of working and providing how am i going to be comfortable with this man is he going to keep his his vows of marriage is he going to provide for me you know but a man who's of a man of commitment like boas was of course he will take his vows he will take his promise he would go and marry this woman and make sure she's provided for it's so important that you choose a man of commitment another way we would say this is a man of his word okay a man of his word now if someone has a bad track record of keeping their word it's not going to be good husband material all right you know if a man's breaking off engagements if he's making promises of marriage but doesn't follow through no that's not a man of his word that's not a man of commitment you know he would not be a man that would be ideal for marriage now if you are that man if you are if you are a man that breaks commitments you know you don't have hold down a job or you know you've broken relationships when you know you had made commitments well you need to fix that reputation about you you need to clean up that part of your life make sure from this day forward you see through your commitments you become a man of your duty of duty you become a man of your word so next time you know that there's a woman that may be interested in you you can show a good track record of your commitment you know of you fulfilling your duty that will give that woman confidence you know and alleviate any fears of whether this man will provide for me whether he will take care of me whether he would keep his vows to me the bible says in ecclesiastes 5 4 when thou vowest a vow unto god defer not to pay it for he have no pleasure in fools pay that which thou has vowed better is it that thou shouldest not vow than that thou shouldest vow and not pay you see when you make a commitment when you sign an employment contract you make a vow i'm going to work these hours i'm going to work this job this is what i'm going to get paid you see it through okay and if you're required to give you know when you when you leave that job you're required to give notice if your contract says you've got to give a week notice you've got to give two weeks notice you've got to give a month's notice you give that notice you give the appropriate time you know you be a man of your word you sign that contract you agree this is what i'll do show that you are a man of commitment listen when my daughter gets old enough to get married i'm going to be ringing that man's employer i'm not joking about this in fact i've spoken about this um with ordination you know if i decide one day to ordain a deacon or a pastor i'm going to be ringing that man's employer before i ordain him and find out what kind of worker is he what kind of worker was he you know was he a man of his word was he a man that kept his commitments was he a man that kept to his vows because if he's not how can i ordain that man or how can i allow my daughter who i'm commanded to protect until i give her over into marriage how can i allow to fall into the hands of a man who doesn't see out his commitments you know who's not working who's who's who doesn't hold down you know a job or you know he doesn't keep his vows that's not the man that i want my daughter to to marry okay and so it's important for fathers to find out you know and girls listen you know it's easy to fall in love with some guy who dreamy eyes but if he's lazy if he's slothful you know doesn't keep his commitments you're going to have a horrible marriage you know you can destroy your life you can get in a very bad situation so make sure he's a man who keeps his vows that's why it's also man it's important for you to be on time for your appointments you know be on time for work be on time for church be on time for the different things that you're required to do this will show a good record of you being faithful to your commitments being a man of duty back in roof chapter 3 verse number 15 roof chapter 3 verse 15 also he said bring the veil that thou hast upon thee and hold it and when she held it he measured six measures of barley and laid it on her and she went into the city so he gives her more barley right as a gift verse number 16 and when she came to her mother-in-law she said who art thou my daughter i think she's the mother was asking who are you because it's still dark and so she doesn't see she doesn't know who she is it says here and she told her all that the man had done to her and she said these six measures of barley gave him me for he said to me go not empty unto thy mother-in-law then she said sit still my daughter until thou know how the matter will fall notice the next words for the man will not be in rest until he have finished the thing this day okay so boa so look i want to find out remember i want to find out whether this other guy who's closer to you uh in uh in relation whether he'll take you as a husband or not or whether i can do that and so he's made this commitment naomi knows boaz and says look he's not going to rest all day until he finishes this task until he works out whether uh a roof is a woman that i can marry and again that shows that commitment it shows that he is a man of his word and so again the title for the sermon this morning was tips on finding a husband and i hope this is a help to the young single ladies you know that are seeking to get married or even the younger ladies as you as you mature as you start thinking about marriage maybe you're not ready now but you start thinking about these truths you know number one seek consultation you know go and ask words of wisdom from other people that know you well and that know that man very well number two ensure that he is a working man number three make it known that you are seeking marriage all right make it known because you know it's hard like i said it's hard for some men sometimes to know all right number four desire a godly man and number five choose a man of commitment okay god bless