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Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you. OK, brethren, welcome to church tonight. Hope you're ready to sing praises to the Lord. If you are, take your hymnals and turn to hymn number 459. 459. And we can begin by singing fairest Lord Jesus, 459. When you have found it, can you please stand? 459, fairest Lord Jesus. OK, let's sing it up. They will I honour Thou my soul's glory, joy and crown. There are the meadows fairest silver woodlands roamed heather blooming garb of spring. Jesus is fairer Jesus is purer who makes the woeful heart to sing. Fairer is the sunshine, fairer silver moonlight and forward twinkling starry host. Jesus shines brighter. Jesus shines purer than all the angels can, can boast. Beautiful Saviour Lord of all the nations, Son of God and Son of man. Glory and honour praise and admiration now and forevermore be thine. Let's pray. Our Heavenly Father Lord we just appreciate that we can be in your house tonight. Lord we're singing about our fairest Lord Jesus. Lord what a Saviour he is. Lord we just come to praise him, to honour him. Lord it's great to have fellowship. It's great to learn from your word but most of all we just want to fuel your presence here tonight. Lord I pray your Holy Spirit will work in our hearts and teach us great truth from your word. And Lord may we put a smile on your face Lord with our praise and worship. Lord help us to have our hearts right towards you. We love you because you first loved us. We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen. You may be seated. Alright. Hymn number 332 please. 332. 332. Channels only. Channels only blessed Master. Amen. 332. 32. How I praise thee precious Saviour that by love who laid hold of me thou hast saved and cleansed and healed me that I might thy channel be. Channels only blessed Master but with all thy wondrous power flowing through us thou canst use us every day and every hour empty that thou shouldst fill me a clean vessel in thy hand with no cloud but as thou givest graciously with its command channels only blessed Master but with all thy wondrous power flowing through us thou canst use us every day and every hour witness in thy power to save me setting free from self and sin thou who bought us to possess me in thy fullness come in channels only blessed Master but with all thy wondrous power flowing through us thou canst use us every day and every hour Jesus fill now with my Spirit pass that full surrender known that the strings of living water from our inner man may flow channels only blessed Master but with all thy wondrous power flowing through us thou canst use us every day and every hour alright, so we have some technical difficulties, is that right? cameras down alright, so for our online listeners, cameras down you know that already, hopefully the audio is working should be working alright, well if there's no video you guys can still hear anyway, so that's the key thing alright, let's do another hymn let's turn to hymn number 356 356 356, I must tell Jesus 356 I must tell Jesus I must tell Jesus all of my trials I cannot bear these burdens alone in my distress He kindly will help me He ever loves and He loves me and He loves me He ever loves and cares for His own I must tell Jesus I must tell Jesus I cannot bear my burdens alone I must tell Jesus I must tell Jesus Jesus can help me Jesus alone I must tell Jesus all of my troubles He is a kind compassionate friend if I but ask Him He will deliver make of my troubles quickly and end I must tell Jesus I must tell Jesus I cannot bear my burdens alone I must tell Jesus I must tell Jesus Jesus can help me Jesus alone tempted and tried I need a great Savior One who can help my burdens to bear I must tell Jesus I must tell Jesus He all my cares and sorrows will share I must tell Jesus I must tell Jesus I cannot bear my burdens alone I must tell Jesus I must tell Jesus Jesus can help me Jesus alone Oh how the world too He will out lose me Oh how my heart is tempted to sin I must tell Jesus and He will help me Oh how the world for victory to win I must tell Jesus I must tell Jesus I cannot bear my burdens alone I must tell Jesus I must tell Jesus Jesus can help me Jesus alone Ok great singing please take your Bibles and turn to Colossians chapter 3 Colossians chapter 3 Colossians 3 Thank you brother Thank you Colossians chapter 3 starting in verse 1 If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. For ye are dead and your life is hid with Christ in God. When Christ who is our life shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory. Modify therefore your members which are upon the earth, fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness which is idolatry. For which things sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience, in the which ye also walked some time when ye lived in them. But now ye put off all these, anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man and his deeds, and have put on the new man which is renewed in the knowledge after the image of him that created him. Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free, but Christ is all and in all. Put on therefore as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering, forbearing one another and forgiving one another. If any man have a quarrel against any, even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things, put on charity which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye accord in one body, and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever you do in word or in deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with eye service as men pleases, but in singleness of heart, fearing God. And whatsoever ye do, do it hardly as to the Lord, and not unto men, knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance, for ye serve the Lord Christ. But he that doeth wrong shall receive the wrong which he hath done, and there is no respect of persons. So let's pray. Heavenly Father, thank you for bringing us to church this afternoon. We pray that you'll fill Pastor Kevin with the Holy Spirit as he preaches to us, and help him edify this congregation, Lord, and preach with boldness and power. It's in Jesus' name we pray these things. Amen. I appreciate that, brother. Um, so we are continuing the Perfect Man series, and if you look at Colossians 3 verse 2, it says, Set your affection, when you think of the word affection, you know, what other words could you use? Your feelings, your emotions, yeah, your affection, your feelings, your emotions. Set your affections on things above, not on things on the earth. The title for the sermon today is, Learn to Control Your Emotions. Learn to control your emotions. In fact, if we drop down to verse number 5, we see that there are certain things that our flesh does that we need to overcome, because it says in verse number 5, Modify therefore your members which are upon the earth, this is our members talking about our fleshly desires, and it gives us a list of things, fornication, uncleanness, but I want you to notice the next word, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry, but inordinate affection. You know what the word affection means? Very easy, right? Affection is your feelings, your emotions, so on, but what is an inordinate affection? Think about that word, what is an inordinate affection? Well, think of the word, it's got in, that's got the prefix, then you've got inordinate. So, when you've got the in area, it's kind of like a negative prefix, okay? And then you've got inordinate, where you kind of, that's order, that's something that is orderly, right? Something that is orderly, so if something is an inordinate affection, what are we talking about? We're talking about a disorderly, or an emotion, an affection, that is not in order, okay? It is not in its proper place as it is, right? And so, when we talk about an inordinate affection, you know, this is something that is affections that are large, that are not contained, emotions that are excessive, emotions that are unrestrained. As I said to you, the title for the sermon tonight is, learn to control your emotions. Now, the first thing I want you to understand is that emotions are not sins in of themselves. The reason we have emotions is because God is a God of emotions. How many times do we hear about God being grieved, or God's anger, or God's love, you know, God's loving kindness and mercies. You know, we often think about how God has his emotions, and when he created us, he's given us these emotions, but we can use our emotions in a wrong way. We can use our affections, our emotions, our feelings in an inordinate way, and we need to make sure that our emotions are under control. I've often had it said, especially by my wife, she says to me, I don't know why, but, you know, she says to me, Kevin, you don't have emotions, like you lack emotions. And I think partly because, you know, usually ladies are a little bit more emotional than men, it's not that I don't have emotions, of course everybody has emotions, it's just that when I'm upset, I'm not necessarily showing it unless I'm excessively upset. Or if I'm happy, I'm not necessarily showing it unless I'm excessively happy. Like, if I'm kind of partly happy, partly upset, you're not necessarily going to see that on my face, unless it's on the extreme side of things. But the thing is, I've actually learnt how to control my emotions. And I'll give you the reasons why as we go through this sermon, in what way did I learn to control my emotions, but then I found out later, this is actually a biblical principle, that we should not be people that just always wear our emotions on our sleeves, like people say that, right? You always just, you know, they wear their emotions on their sleeve. We need to learn how to make sure that when we feel emotions, they're in the right way. And, you know, that we understand that not all emotions are sinful, but only if we apply them in sinful ways, can they become sinful. Let me just give you a quick definition, a dictionary definition of the word emotion. And it says it's an effective state of consciousness in which joy, sorrow, fear, hate, or the like is experienced as distinguished, now this part is important, pay attention, as distinguished from cognitive and volitional states of consciousness. What this is saying is that we can have these emotions, they can be either cognitive, or they can be volitional. You say, what does that mean, pastor? Let me just give you an example. Volitional, what's the definition of a volitional emotion? Basically, you do something or you respond out of emotion because you want to. It's your preference, you're acting upon your own will. You might decide, I feel like eating something for dinner today, you've got your various restaurant, various options, and you say, you know what, I just feel like a kebab at Al Medina, and you're just going by those feelings that you have, that's where I want to go, that's your will. And so it's you expressing your emotion through your own personal preferences. And then you have your cognitive side of things, and obviously many of you probably know that word cognitive, but it's got to do with your intellect. It's got to do with your intellect. And that's basically deciding on things based on reasoning, based on logic, based on what you've learnt, based on your experience. And so, for example, you might be dating a girl, you want to impress her, and you feel like Al Medina kebab, but you know that's not going to impress her. You want to take it to a romantic place, where there's a candlelit dinner, it's going to be expensive, you know that, man, I just want a kebab, but your reasoning says, no, no, I want to impress her, she's not going to be impressed eating in front of Fairfield train station. We've got to go to a place with a nice view, and so you're using your cognitive to take action on what you're feeling. So those are two elements that you need to understand that make up your emotions, or your state of consciousness. Let me give you a list of emotions that you might experience. Happiness, depression, feeling inadequate, when you think about others, you think, I'm nobody, I feel inadequate to others. Fear, confusion, hurts, anger, loneliness, remorse, these are all feelings, some of them are positive, some of them might be negative, slanted. There's nothing wrong, there's nothing sinful about emotions in of themselves. You're there in Colossians 3, look at verse number 6, drop down to verse number 6. As I said to you, God has emotions, and in verse number 6 it says for which thing's sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience? So does God have emotions? He's got wrath. What's wrath? Extreme anger. Now would you say God's extreme anger is a sin? Would you say God is a sinner because he has extreme anger? Because he has wrath? Of course not. So is anger a sin? No. But how many churches will teach you that anger is a sin? Because they don't understand the Bible. And anger is just an emotion. Now look, if you get angry at the things God gets angry about, do you think that's righteous? Absolutely. But if you get angry at the things that God is not angry about, is that righteous? No. So you need to understand your emotions in of themselves but how you apply their emotion can be wrong. If you are angry at the things that God is angry about that is righteous and that is good. If we keep going, drop down to verse number 8. It says, talking about our flesh and the carnal things on this earth, but now you also, look at this, I want you to notice this. Put off all these. So this is what God wants us to get rid of our lives. Anger, wrath. God wants us to get rid of anger and wrath. But we just saw in verse number 6 that God has wrath. So God, if you have wrath, why do you want us to get rid of wrath? Because again, it's not the emotion in of themselves that is the problem. It's how you apply the emotion. And it keeps going. Malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. And so what we see here is that God has given us emotions and boy, if you have anger and wrath, if it's just a fleshly, carnal wrath and anger that comes out of your pride, comes out of someone hurting your feelings which is just minor in the sight of the Lord, then of course it's wrong to feel that way. You know, if God hates something, it's right for you to hate what God hates. If God loves something, it's right for you to love what God loves. And it's the same thing, if God hates something, what is something that God hates? Someone give me something. A lying tongue. You know, but we love a lying tongue. Are we right with God if we love a lying tongue? If we love to tell lies and to deceive people, would we be right with the Lord? No, we should hate a lying tongue. Okay, what does God love? What does God love? Anyone want to give me an... The church? Let's say the church. God loves the church. Should we love the church? Are we expressing our emotions in the wrong way? Absolutely. And so it's always making sure that we line up with what God wants. Drop down to verse number 12. These are things that we need to put on in our lives. If you have any quarrels tonight with our brother or sister in the Lord, then forgive them, because Christ has forgiven you. Look at verse number 14. Charity is another way of saying love. Love is above all these things. We often associate love with feelings, and in some ways it is, in some ways it isn't. Because if you say, look, I'm only going to love when I have those butterfly feelings in my stomach, and I'm getting a little bit, you know, excited about this person's presence, well, you know what, there are going to be times when you're not excited about that person's presence. Right? I met somebody, I don't want to marry them, I love this individual. Well, you know what, in the 20, 30, 40, 50 years of marriage, there are going to be days that you don't feel like loving your spouse. But your command is to love her anyway. Because it's not based solely on your emotions, so it's also cognitive, you know what God says, husbands who love their wives, it doesn't matter when you feel like loving her, you need to love her, and really, love is not just an emotion, love is action. You know, what you're showing to the other person. That is what love is. When you demonstrate kindness, and appreciation, and you do kind things toward others, you are demonstrating that love. But notice how verse number 14 ended, when we put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. We're going through our perfect man series. You know what, if we want to be perfect, the characteristic that should stand out above all things in our lives is charity. And that's going to bring union, okay, in our church. That's going to help solve our conflicts and problems. Or when those conflicts arise, you know, a quick resolution to those problems. As long as we put on charity. So, I'm looking not only for a perfect man, not only do I want you guys to mature and grow and become well-rounded as Christians, but I also want our church to be well-rounded. Okay, we must put on charity. It'll bring unity into our church. Drop down to verse number 18. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. And the wives might say, well, I don't feel like submitting myself to you. Well, again, it's not just an evolution necessarily, okay. This is a cognitive response. You know, maybe your husband isn't the perfect husband. Welcome to the real world. So, I'm not a perfect husband. I don't know any man who would say I'm the perfect husband. Okay, but the instruction, what God is asking of wives, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. This is what the Lord wants. This is fit in the Lord. Okay, we're talking about here having ordinate affections, not inordinate affections. Guys, if you turn around and say, you know what? My husband's got failings. I'm not going to submit to him. Well, now your affections, your emotions are out of order. God is asking you to be submissive to your own husbands. I don't care if it's 2023. This is the word of God. This is what he teaches us. And of course, this is primarily a cognitive decision. It's not always, I feel like obeying my husband. Even when you're out in the world, do you always feel like obeying your boss? You don't always feel like obeying your boss. The boss says, because at the end of the day, he's the one that's going to pay your wage. And the ladies are like, oh man, that's a hard thing to ask pastor. Well, look at verse number 19. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. Husbands, love your wives. You might not always feel like loving your wife. But you know what we learn here? Be not bitter against them. Again, why would God say these words in his word? Why would he say that? Because it's easy for husbands to become bitter against their wives. That's why it's there. Because sometimes your wife may not go along exactly with what you want in life. She may not always be submissive towards you. But you know what, even if your wife is not submissive to your husbands, you still love her, and you don't get bitter against her. This is a commandment from the Lord. You love her, you instruct her, and we know that husbands are the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. And did we obey the Lord first? Or did the Lord give his life toward us first? The Lord gave his life toward us. Given us everlasting life, and then in that process, having Christ as our leader are we able to then submit ourselves and follow after him? Really the onus when it comes to a relationship is that the husbands will take charge in this area. And again, it's not always I feel like doing this, I don't feel like doing that. It doesn't matter. You've got the instruction of the Lord. The best thing for you, husbands, is to love your wives and not grow bitter against them. In verse 21, fathers provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. Again, learning how to control our emotions. You know, when you have children and they disobey it's going to really ruffle your feathers. You know what, if you're not prepared. If you don't learn to control your emotions, it's going to really ruffle your feathers. I'm not saying they should never get angry at your children. You know, if your children disobey they don't do what mum and dad asks. You know what, it's perfectly normal for you to get angry. The reason God has given us emotions is that we can learn or cause a response cause a reaction, that we will do something out of that reaction. And what God's instruction is when it comes to a disobedient child is to chastise that child. Is to take that rod of correction or take that belt if you have to and apply some swift punishment on their backside. But look, when you apply that on your children, you don't want to be doing it out of anger. You don't want to be doing it emotionally. Again, you want to be cognitive. You want to make sure that what you're doing is reasonable with what they've committed. You have control over your emotions because if you take that rod, you take that belt and you've lost control of your emotions you can do some major damage as you correct your children. But see, fathers, we can provide our children to anger. I've done that. I've done that. I've you know, responded in a way to my children that has caused them to get angry and lest they be discouraged I'm sure I've done that. I know I've done that. And I'm sure there are times my children say, yeah dad, you've done it other times. They don't realize. Okay, cause these things are in the Bible so we learn. Okay, to control our emotions and understand our emotional outbursts have an effect on the people that we love the most. Drop down to verse number 22. Servants obey in all things your masters. Again, do we always feel like obeying our masters? Do we always feel like obeying our employers? Who does? Okay, obey all things your masters according to the flesh. Not with eye services, men pleasers, but in singleness of heart, fearing God. Is fear an emotion? Yes. Fear is emotion. Is it right to fear God? Absolutely. All things that we do, we ought to fear God. We ought to be mindful about what God is thinking of us as we go about living our lives. When we make decisions, Lord, are you happy with this decision? Or Lord, are you not happy with this decision? We should fear the Lord. But can fear be a sin? Yeah, if we fear man. If we fear the devil. If we fear things that are contrary to the Lord. Yeah, that is a sin. But we're commanded to fear the Lord. You see, fear, again, in of itself is an emotion, but it is not sinful as long as you are fearing God. But if you fear man above God, now you've committed a sin. And so what I'm trying to show you here, just by some examples, is that emotions, you can't get rid of them. God has programmed them into you. Okay, you can't shut them off completely. In fact, you can't shut them off. You know what? I don't care what anybody says. I don't care how stoic someone can look on the outside. Alright? If someone says something nasty towards you, it's going to have some effect. It's going to cause some emotional reaction within. It's just that the person that is most stoic has learnt to not allow that to show out on the outward. But they still feel it on the inward, to some extent. Okay? But what we're here to do, what we're here to learn is to control our emotions and understand that not emotions in of themselves are not sinful as long as we apply them in the right way, in the way that God wants us to apply those emotions. Come with me to Proverbs 15. Come with me to Proverbs 15, please. Proverbs 15. You can move away from Colossians 3. Brother Matthew's got a sermon lined up on Colossians 3. Sorry, brother. I've taken all the best verses. Proverbs 15, please. Proverbs 15, verse number 18. Just want to give you some other examples here. Proverbs 15, 18. It says, You know, a man that's constantly in strife, the Bible tells us, is basically a wrathful man. He's always angry, very quickly offended. You know, always getting upset, always rubbing people the wrong way. A wrathful man, stirs up strife. But then it says this, So if we look at verse number 18, which one of these two should we be? Should we be known as a wrathful man, or should we be someone that is slow to anger? The second one. Obviously, slow to anger. Now if you turn around and say, well, anger is a sin, then this doesn't make any sense. Because God is asking us to be slow to anger. You know what that means? That means when something bothers you, you don't just fly off your handle. You don't just lose control. You don't have a temper tantrum. Okay? Yeah, you consider what's taking place. And you're making sure that as you express anger, you can say, this is something that God does want me to get angry about. But you know what? I'm not going to lose my temper. I'm going to be in control and I'm going to be slow to anger. You're controlling your anger. You guys know, I'm sure there are times that you've gotten so angry, you've just had this outburst and you're like, where did that come from? It's because you haven't got control of your emotions. See, God wants us to have control. Slow to anger, a piece of strife. Come with me to Proverbs 27. Proverbs 27, verse number 19. Proverbs 27, verse number 19. This one's a bit of a cryptic verse, but I like the meaning behind it. It says, as in water, face answerth to face. So let's stop there for a moment. So if you look at water, it's saying here that the reflection of the water is going to show your face, like a mirror. Okay? So you can see yourself through the waters. Alright. Then it says, so the heart of man to man. The Bible's saying here that a man can know another man by their heart. And of course, many times in the Bible, the heart represents that seed of emotions. You see, if you're someone that does not control your emotions, you're easily upset. You're easily angry. You know, you're easily having those temper tantrums. Or you know, you're demonstrating love to the things that God hates and you know, you hate the things that God loves. Or you know, you're not demonstrating the slow to anger. Well, you're going to show other men that you fail in this area. You're going to show other people that you have a failing in controlling your emotions. So the heart of man to man, how you express your emotions demonstrates to another man whether you have control of your emotions or whether you don't. And I'm sure, I'm sure there are at least some of us that can say tonight, I need to learn how to control my emotions. I need to stop just having outbursts. I need to be slow to anger. I need to think about if these feelings are correct. Does this line up with God's word? Am I just responding out of my fleshly desires? Or is it what God wants? Come with me to another proverb. Proverbs 25 verse number 28. Proverbs 25 verse number 28. Proverbs 25, 28 basically tells us why it's so important that we control our emotions. The Bible says in verse number 28, the spirit, the spirit here is just referring to again, just your seed of emotions. He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls. You know what? If you have no rule, if you have no control over yourself and over your emotions, you're like a city that is broken down and without walls. What does the Bible say? It says, look, if the city represents your life, okay, if the city is broken down, then this represents that your life is broken down. If you can't control your emotions, you're going to cause your family to be broken. Okay? You're going to cause your finances to be broken because you'll be making stupid decisions based on emotions and not thinking reasonably about whether you should be doing that or not. Your reputation will be broken and your productivity on the job will be broken. I know this. You know, I've hired so many people over my life and there are people that come to work and they bring their emotions from a home and, you know, let me just give you one word of advice. Learn to separate work from your house life. Okay? There's a stress that you have at work. When you come home and you enter the house to your wife and to your children, don't bring up all, don't allow all the stress of work to enter into your home. I've done it. I've done it where I've been so stressed at work. You know, working 12 hours, 14 hours at work thinking, oh man, like we're just not getting ahead at work. We're falling behind. I'm getting frustrated at the job. I might be getting frustrated at employees and I come home and, you know, I should be at peace with my family and because I'm stressed and worried, just one little outburst by the kids. Just one little inconvenience at home and I can just have an outburst. And then I'm like, where did that come from? You know, my family didn't deserve that. My wife didn't deserve that. My kids didn't deserve that. Oh, it's all the way back from work. I've brought it with me. You see, when you're highly emotional, even on the job, your productivity will drop. Okay, because you're going to be stressed and worried rather than thinking, okay, what do we need to accomplish? What's the best way? How can we be most effective? How can we be the most productive? How can we get this job done? How do we prioritize? All of that requires a logical thinking mind, okay. Thinking cognitively, alright, then just running off your emotions, otherwise you'll be a poor employee. So the city, so a man that has not ruled over his own spirit is like a city that's broken down, not only broken down and without walls. So in the times of the Bible, if you had a city without walls, what was the point of the walls in the time of these cities in the Bible? Yeah, protection. So, you know, if you've got no walls, you've got no strength, you've got no defence. You've got no defence over your own life. You know, you'll easily, you know, if the walls represent your defence, you know, you'll easily cave into sins. You know, you won't be able to fight the temptations in your life because you're so downcast in your emotions. When the temptations come, you're so easily given to your sins. Again, those walls protected you from the enemy. You know, you'll be influenced by the wicked world. You'll find yourself becoming more worldly. You'll find yourself not loving God's word and God's holiness as much as you used to and you'll be drawn away into that wicked world. Because not only is the city broken down, but so are the walls of protection. So this is why it's so important that you learn how to have control of your emotions. Control of your spirit. Come with me to, um, come with me to Psalm 23, please. Come with me to Psalm 23. Psalm 23. Let me give you some other reasons to control your emotions. Psalm 23. I'll quickly read to you from Ephesians 4-30. But the first reason why, or the other reason why you should control your emotions is because you can grieve God. This is what, um, this is the part of being a Christian that I don't like. I'll be honest with you. Now I love being saved, don't get me wrong. I love being a child of God. But Ephesians 4-30 says and grieve not the Holy Spirit of God whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. The Bible tells us here basically that we're saved and we often associate salvation you know, the salvation of the soul and that is true. And we associate salvation with being born again so we have a a new living spirit within us. But we don't often associate then our flesh because we know it's our kind of like this enemy, it's this carnal enemy with the new man that we have within you but we also need to understand that when we were saved, God also purchased our body. Okay? And we know that we sin in our body. And look, when you, we're talking about emotions here, when you're not expressing emotions in the right way, you know, if you're not controlling your body in the right way you know, if you're not, you know, loving how, the things that God loves and you're not hating the things that God hates you're going to grieve the Lord God you're going to grieve the Holy Spirit because the Holy Spirit lives within each one of us. And this is the part of being a Christian that I don't like because I know every time I make a mistake every time I sin every time I have an emotional outburst that is not aligned with God's will, I am grieving my Lord. And I just have a hard time thinking that I can grieve my Lord every time I disobey, every time I do things contrary to His will, every time I have some emotional outburst that is not what God wants for me I'm grieving my Lord God. I don't know if that bothers you, but that bothers me I don't like it. I don't like thinking about it. But we have to think about it because you know, we can't just think that, oh, are we going to sin to the day we die, so why try? Why bother? Well, here's why you should bother is because by continuing you're going to just grieve the Holy Spirit of God. I want to grieve Him less than grieve Him more. You know, every day that I live a Christian life if the Holy Spirit is empowering me to grow and mature then in return I want to be able to grieve my Lord less than I have in the past. You're there in Psalm 23. I told you why I decided to control my emotions. This actually comes back this wasn't even a biblical thing. This wasn't a biblical reason when I decided this. I was a teenager. And I used to get really bothered. Because like, you know if you go to school, is everyone going to treat you well? No. You know, I mean, bullies run rampant. Not that I was really ever bullied. I can't turn around. I hear stories of other people being bullied and I'm like, okay, I didn't really experience that. But you know, if you put any kid amongst other kids you know, there's going to be a negative experience. Like, people don't like you. Just because they don't like how you look. Or they don't like how you speak. Or they don't like what you like. And school for me is such an immature place to be. Because it's kind of like you develop friendships based on your interests. You base friendships on the music you listen to. You might base your friendships on the sports that you like. But it's never anything of real quality. Like, of that individual person, right? And so, you know, people can mock you and tease you. And I used to get so frustrated. I remember just sometimes getting so annoyed by what someone said and my face would just turn bright red. You know, beetroot red and my ears would turn red. And I just, why would they say that about me? Or why would they treat me like this? But then what I observed by getting angry and by having some type of reaction, I learnt that I'm satisfying I'm satisfying them. Like I'm giving them something that they want. They want to bother me. And then I realised, hold on. I don't want to be rude in return. Because I was already a Christian. I know that I should not revile when I'm reviled and all that kind of stuff, right? I know that I'm to do good to my enemies. You know, I really knew what the Bible taught on these things. So I just said, you know what? I'm going to learn how to not give them satisfaction. If they mock me, if they tease me, I'm just going to just it's going to bother me on the inside. Yeah? I'm going to get angry on the inside, I'm going to get sad on the inside but on the outside I'm just going to smile. On the outside I'm just going to go ha ha ha, you're right about that. I am an idiot. Or whatever, right? Because I'm not going to give them the satisfaction. And I'll get to the Bible verse soon but then I found out, when you start doing that guess what happens? They become your, they stop bothering you. Because they're not getting the reaction. They want it. They go bully someone else. Not that that's a good thing but at least they're off your back. But I realised, oh, they're not getting the satisfaction. You know, I'm kind of like laughing with them about myself. That's a good thing. You learn how to grow thick skin as well. I think growing thick skin is a good thing to do. But you don't show them satisfaction. And when you learn to control your emotions you learn to not satisfy your enemies. And look at Psalm 23 verse 4 please. It's a very famous psalm of course. And I love this. This is my favourite part in Psalm 23. He goes, the psalmist says Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. He's not having a good time. He's having a miserable time at the moment. He goes, I will fear no evil for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. David's going through a hard time here. It's a time of darkness. Shadow of death. He's got enemies against him. But then verse 5 just comes out of nowhere. Like verse 5 when you read Psalm 23 it just seems to come out of nowhere. He goes, thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. Thou anointest my head with oil. My cup runneth over. Do you think this would bother David's enemies? When David's enemies are trying to hurt him. When they're trying to overcome his kingdom. When they're trying to tear David down and when they look at David, all they see is David rejoicing with a full table before him. David with the blessings of the Lord coming upon him. His cup runneth over. Of course that's going to bother the enemies. They're not getting the response they want. And so I thought, you know what? I want that with my life. You know what? I get nasty phone calls about myself or even about the soul winners that went out there. Just recently I had someone call or no, actually they messaged me going, some old man tried to break into a locked door of our house and there were four girls sleeping in the room. This is not okay. And I got this message, I just wrote back, some old man was trying to break into your house, you should contact the police. I'm not going to, look if the guy's soul winners just knocking the door trying to find out someone's home, I don't know who the old man was. I'm not going to, you know what? But here's the thing, you don't satisfy, contact the police. I said hey, if it involves the church, someone's breaking into your house, we'll happily address or happily answer any questions that the police might have. You know what? You don't give them any satisfaction. You know when you're doing what is right and what is good, you're rejoicing the Lord, don't give your enemies satisfaction by you losing your temper, by you losing control of your emotions. Just wait for the blessings of the Lord to fall upon you. Come with me to Psalm 35, verse number 19. Psalm 35, verse number 19. Psalm 35, verse number 19. It says, Let not them that are mine enemies wrongfully rejoice over me. Do you think the Psalmist was feeling similar to how I was when I was a teenager? You know, when I'd be bothered by the words they'd say, and I'd respond and I'd get angry or I'd get upset. You know what? Those people were rejoicing when they would see that reaction. The Psalmist says, Let not them that are mine enemies wrongfully rejoice over me, neither let them wink with the eye that hate me without a cause. Because Lord, don't let them be satisfied by their attacks toward me. And brethren, I found by controlling your emotions, that's one great way to not allow your enemies to be satisfied by their actions toward you. Come with me to Ephesians, chapter 4. Ephesians, chapter 4, verse number 26. Ephesians, chapter 4, verse number 26. Another reason why you need to learn to control your emotions is that it hurts relationships. It damages relationships. And you know, the greatest relationship that God has given you is your marriage, if you're married today. And the Bible says in Ephesians 4, 26, Be ye angry. Again, is anger a sin? No, because the Bible says, Be ye angry. God is commanding you to be angry. Be ye angry, but notice the next words. And sin not. You see, again, the anger in of itself is not the sin. Okay, but how you apply the anger can be sinful or can be righteous. You know, in this scenario, it must be a righteous reason to be angry. Be ye angry and sin not. Then it says these words, Let not the sun go down upon your wrath. And then verse number 27 follows, Neither give place to the devil. Remember, this is where you need to control your emotions. You know, when you're married, you're not always going to have a perfect day together. There are going to be times that you're going to get angry one toward another. It can be verbal, it can be non-verbal. It can just be ignoring one another. You know, it can just be not fulfilling certain requirements or your roles that you need to fulfill one toward another. But when that happens and you get angry toward your spouse, hey, go and make peace, the Bible says here, before the sun goes down. While the sun is still up, go and make peace. Go and say sorry if you're in the wrong. Go and apologize. Go and talk about the matter before the sun goes down. Don't let that anger just simmer, you know, for an extra day. Because by doing that, you give place to the devil. You allow the devil to come and take control of your emotions and cause damage in that marriage relationship. But it's not just marriage, it's all our relationships. Any times you have a conflict, you know, sort it out quickly. Right? You have a disagreement. Look, not so much a disagreement. We can have this all the time. But you know, you get hot and bothered and you might offend one another. You might sin against another because of some disagreement. Look, just sort it out as soon as possible. Ideally, like the Bible says, before the sun goes down upon your wrath. Because now you're going to give place to the devil. You're going to allow the devil to come in and utilize your emotions that are inadequate, inordinate, okay? And use it to further damage those relationships, then bring peace between the two of you. Come with me to 2 Corinthians chapter 6. 2 Corinthians chapter 6. 2 Corinthians chapter 6. Now, if you don't know already, in my opinion, when we look at the epistles of the churches, the Corinthian church by far, in my opinion, is the worst of all the churches that you read about. They are a mess. They are a mess. And I'm just, look, if I was in the Corinthian church, I think I would have left a long time ago. But look, it just shows us the mercy of God. And sometimes when we give up on a church, the Lord has not. The Corinthian church, if you read 1 Corinthians, the apostle Paul writes them, he says they're babes, he says they're carnals, they're men worshippers. Like, one is of Paul, one's of Apollos, one's of Cephas. You know, they've got their favorite preachers, and they have their cliques, and they have the disagreements, and they've got the false prophets that have crept into the churches, false brethren. I mean, the church is just, it's a horrible mess. And when you read 1 Corinthians, it is a sharp rebuke from Paul to all the church. Very sharp. And what we read when we get to 2 Corinthians, I think it's in chapter 2, I won't go to it right now, I think it's in chapter 2, that he says, you know, my first letter that I wrote to you made you sorry. Like, the church was so cast down and depressed that they had received such a sharp rebuke from the apostle Paul when we get to 2 Corinthians. And even so, that some within the church are starting to hate Paul, you know, for coming in and trying to rebuke them, you know, pointing out their issues, you know, and they're starting to dislike Paul, even though Paul is the one that got them saved, even though Paul is the one that started this church, there are some within the church that are starting to despise Paul for his correction that came in 1 Corinthians. And so when we get to 2 Corinthians chapter 6, verse 11, I want you to notice the right emotional response when there's tension. Because there's tension right now between the Corinthian church and Paul. Okay? Paul wants to visit them, he can't visit them, he's caught up, he's writing a second letter, he says in verse 11, O ye Corinthians, our mouth is open unto you, our heart is enlarged. He says, look, my mouth is open towards you, look, I've been very critical about your actions, you know, I'm trying to correct you, but then he says, our heart is enlarged. He says, look, my heart towards you, Corinthian church, is large. Like, the reason I've wrote that letter to begin with is because I love you so much, and I love you more now than I have before. You see, even with all the rebuke and the chastening that came from Paul, you must understand that it came from a loving heart towards the church. Then he says in verse number 12, ye are not straightened in us, but ye are straightened by your own bowels. What does the word straighten there mean? S-T-R-A-I-T, straight. Straight means narrow, right? So he says, look, ye are not straightened in us, so in us, our emotions towards you are not narrow, right? He says he's got an open heart, it's not a closed narrow heart, or narrow emotions that he has towards the church. He goes, not in us, but then he says, but ye, so you, Corinthians, are straightened in your own bowels. You know, you don't love us the way that you ought to, you know, you're holding these these, this is a grudge against us for writing the first letter. Then he says in verse number 13, now for a recompense in the same, I speak as unto my children, be ye also enlarged. Be ye also enlarged. Stop being straightened toward us. Stop restricting your love and emotions. Stop being angry toward us. Stop being hostile toward us. He says, look, as little children, enlarge your heart toward us. Brethren, what we learn here is that when there's tension, you know, when there's conflict between brother and brother, or there's conflict between pastor and his church, brethren, we need to learn how to open our hearts. That is not the right time to close ourselves down. It is not the right time to have a narrow minded feelings toward one another. You know what, if there's conflicts between our brothers or our sisters, if anything, we should learn to love one another even more so, so we can have the peace of God between us, so we can have the forgiveness between us, so we can learn and fix the things that are causing the tension. So the right emotion when there's tension, or there's conflict, is stop hating your brother, stop hating your sister. Stop, just put aside, you know, learn to control your emotions, put aside all your pride and all the things. Look, if someone says something to you and it offends you, please stop for a moment and consider, have they said that out of love? Do they mean well? Are they really trying to attack me? And you'll find more often than not, especially when it comes to God's people, they're not trying to attack you. Like, maybe their tone was not the best. Maybe the way they communicated was not the best. Maybe they don't even know how to communicate. Maybe they've got concerns and they don't want you to misrepresent what they wanted to say towards you, but they've made the effort to love you enough to share the concern, the worry, or the criticism they might have towards you. You need to learn that this is a person that has opened their heart toward me and I need to, in response, have an open heart toward them. I know what it's like. Sometimes you share things with people. I guess I experience it a lot more as a pastor. Where, you know, someone asks me a question and I give them the response and they get upset with me. It's like, why are you upset with me? You asked the question. Like, I'm giving you the answer even though I know it's not the answer you want to hear, but it's the answer because I love you and you need to love me in response for giving you the answer you did not want to hear. Isn't that why you asked in the first place? Because you knew it might not be what you wanted to hear. So brethren, in conclusion, let me give you some tips to get better control of your emotions. Just in light of everything that we've covered today. First tip number one is know your Bible better. Know God's word better. You need to learn to know what God hates. You need to learn to know what God gets angry about. And then you, when you have those emotions, you can check whether my emotions are lining up with what God feels. And if they don't line up with what God feels, then it's just my flesh and I know that I'm in the wrong. But if it's aligned with what God feels, and what God wants, then I'm in the right. And it doesn't matter if someone says to me, you shouldn't feel that way, as long as it's lined up with God's word, you are in the right. But you only know that if you know the Bible. This is why people don't know what emotions are. People say hate is a sin. Anger is a sin. You hear that preach behind the pulpit. Why do you hear that? Because the pastors haven't read the Bible. The pastors have not read the passages where God gets angry or where God has asked us be angry and sin not. They've not read the passages where God hates the wicked. They've not read the passages where it says that God is angry with the wicked every day. They've not read it. They've only read a few passages of the New Testament. They don't know what the Bible contains. And so they tell you false things. So don't depend on the preacher. You need to spend time in God's word. God, how do you feel about this? How do you feel about that? How do you feel about fornication? How do you feel about adultery? How do you feel about the lying tongue, Lord? Because what you feel about, that's how I want to feel about it, Lord. Lord, what do you love? I want to love what you love. Lord, if you're willing to have those feelings toward these things, then I want to be able to love those things as well. Lord, you love lost souls? Lord, you know, you sent Jesus to die for a sinful world, then if I have the right emotions and I love lost souls as well, that's going to drive me to go soul-willing and give someone the gospel. But if you never give anybody the gospel, you're just demonstrating that your emotions are not in control. You don't love what God loves! Know the Bible to understand what the right emotions are. Come with me to Psalm 127. Psalm 127. Point number two is a lot easier. Point number two is a lot easier. I was doing some research on this when I was preparing this sermon a while ago, and one reason people lose control of their emotions, believe it or not, is due to a lack of sleep. You know, especially in the big cities, it is like a rat race here living in Sydney. And there's always something urgent, there's always something to do. And many times, people would give up on their sleep. Instead of getting a good seven, eight hours of sleep, they'll lose on sleep in order to complete whatever tasks they have to do. And they think, well, I'm getting these extra hours. But by not getting enough sleep, you're not allowing your body to rest, where you have the ability and the strength to control your emotions. You'll find the more, the lack of sleep that you, the more sleep you, the more lack of sleep you have, the harder it's going to be for you to control your emotions. There is a direct correlation. And if you look at Psalm 127, verse number one, Psalm 127, verse number one, it says, except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it, except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. Verse number one is there for a reason to tell you that unless the Lord is doing it, it's vanity. Okay? You don't have to always stress about everything in this world. You need to leave things in the hands of the Lord. If you're worried about something, take it in prayer to the Lord and leave it to him to build your house. But then it says in verse number two, it's vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, and eat the bread of sorrows. It says, look at this, for so he giveth his beloved sleep. Are you the beloved of God? God gives you sleep. God says, look, it's vain for you. Why do you wake up so early? And why do you go to bed so... In other words, you're not sleeping enough. You're not getting enough hours of sleep. And the reason you're doing that is to eat the bread of sorrows. That's another emotion, right? Oh, woe is me. Oh, the world is falling apart. Oh, it's all disaster moving forward. Oh, the economy is about to collapse. What are we going to do with our lives? All that stress and worry and then you can't sleep. Because you've not left it to God. See, he gives his beloved sleep. God knows that you need a good seven, eight hours. Look, unless you're some exception to the rule. I know that some people are able to function five, six hours of sleep or something like that. I don't know. But most people need at least seven or eight hours. Look, if you want to learn to control your emotions, this one's an easy one. Go to sleep early enough. Get your hours. Rest your body. Let your body heal. And when you have the strength, you'll find when you're having those emotional responses, you'll be in a better position to take care of those emotions. The other one that I want you to notice here. Come with me to Ecclesiastes 3. Ecclesiastes chapter 3. Ecclesiastes chapter 3. This is something that I've learnt more recently in my life. But the third point that I have for you is give space for grief and mourning. Give space for grief and mourning. There are going to be times that you're going to have times of grief. There are going to be times that you have to mourn. If I ever lost my wife. If I ever lost my parents. They passed away. Don't you think I'm going to be grieved? Don't you think I'm going to need a time of mourning? It's a shock to the system. And the Lord knows that we need time to grieve. I'm not talking about just passing away. There can be other things that can cause grief. And look at verse number 1. Ecclesiastes 3 verse 1. And a time to every purpose under the heaven. Drop down to verse number 4. A time to weep. And a time to laugh. A time to mourn. And a time to dance. So in everything there's a season for everything. God has given us a time and a season for everything. A time to weep. A time to mourn. Look if you're going for a period of grief and mourning give yourself time to get that. To prevent that. To take that to the Lord. Give yourself time. You've just lost your loved one. You don't need to be rejoicing. God wants me to be rejoicing every single day. That's not realistic. If you don't give yourself time to grieve and to mourn when something serious happens then you're going to have times of outburst because you've not allowed yourself that natural process that God has given you. And if there's someone in our church going through grief. If there's someone in our church that's weeping because they've experienced some hard times the Bible says in Romans 12-15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice and weep with them that weep. Brethren if there's someone in church having a hard time the worst thing you can do is walk up to them and say, hey, snap out of it. Come on brother, get over it already. Look, the Bible says there's a time to weep there's a time to mourn. And we're all different. Some of us are going to mourn longer than others. We might mourn differently to others. Some people might react as they mourn and grieve strangely. And you go, there's something wrong? No, nothing wrong with them. God's given them that time to vent and to go through this process because we need to be able to express sometimes even these negative emotions that God has given us. Because once we've had that time to grieve and to mourn and we can put that behind us emotional struggles behind us then we can move on and live a life that is fulfilled that God wants us to live. So brethren, those three points that I have for you just three points, three major points know the Bible better know how God wants you to feel number two, get enough sleep and I actually, I realise this is so important you get enough sleep and number three, give place to grief and mourning. Alright. In conclusion when you have an emotional response to something I want you to start asking yourself these questions okay, this is how you're going to assess whether these emotions are right. Number one, ask yourself, what am I feeling? Okay, figure out what is this emotional response? Why am I feeling this way right now? And then, sorry, what am I feeling? What is this emotion? Number two, why am I feeling this way? Why? And to bring this emotion in me, okay? Then the next question should be how should I be feeling? Am I feeling the right way? Am I having the right emotions in this situation? And if you say I'll give you an example let's say a brother offends you okay, and you're like, ugh, my brother offended me said something nasty, I'm upset I'm angry at them right now, I feel like having an outburst maybe I should call them and have a go at them in response should you be feeling that way? Like, think about for a moment what they said to you, how they acted towards you like if someone else came up to you and said, hey brother, can I ask you something someone responded this way to me what do you think I should do? Sometimes thinking about a situation that is not your own can actually give you the answer that you're looking for am I just being overly emotional here? You know, could I be misunderstanding what this individual meant to say? So, should I be feeling this way? And the final point on four is what is the correct action to take? If you say, no, these are the right emotions I'm feeling the right way my brother has trespassed against me he has sinned against me alright, what is the correct action to take? And we know that when it comes to a brother we have to take a one on one okay, what else could other corrective actions be? For example, if I'm feeling if a child walks into my kitchen alright, and they pick up a knife I'm going to experience some level of fear for my child, that the child might hurt itself, is that the right feeling to have? Of course it is so what's the corrective action? Take that knife from the child you know, put some rules around the house hey children, you're not allowed to walk into the kitchen hey little ones, you're not allowed to turn on the stove, hey little ones you're not allowed to boil water okay, because those emotions will cause you to take some level of corrective action and so brethren that's the conclusion that I have for you just once again, what am I feeling? Why am I feeling this way? How should I be feeling? And if your feelings are correct what is the correct action to take? Brethren, the title for the sermon was learn to control your emotions you know, God has given us emotions for good reasons they're there so we would react in a certain way but make sure that your emotions don't line up with God's will don't allow your emotions to damage relationships don't let emotions give satisfaction to your enemies and please learn the Bible so you know whether you're feeling the right way okay let's pray, Heavenly Father Lord I want to thank you for tonight once again Lord thank you for your word, thank you for your creation and Lord thank you for giving us the emotions that you've given us, Lord that we can apply them in the right manner Lord help us to love what you love help us to hate what you hate and not to fear what man can do unto us Lord help us to apply our emotions in the right way and Lord even if we're not feeling like participating Lord emotionally in a certain way Lord if your word commands Lord help us to operate by our cognitive reasoning and instruct you from your word rather than whether we desire to feel to do that or not Lord Lord just help us tonight, Lord if there's anyone that needs help in this area please work in their hearts Lord please don't allow their flesh to have the victory over their spirit, Lord please give us the ability Lord to learn from you and to apply these things to our life we pray these things in Jesus' name Amen Alright please take your hymnals now Let's turn to hymn number 456 456 456 all your anxiety 456 all your anxiety 456 come to the cross 456 each burdened hair 456 in all your anxiety 456 leave it there 456 all your anxiety 456 all your care 456 bring to the mercy 456 say leave it there 456 never a burdening 456 cannot bear 456 never a friend 456 like Jesus 456 no other friend 456 so keen to help you 456 no other friend 456 so quick to hear 456 no other place 456 to live your burden 456 no other one to hear 456 your prayer 456 all your anxiety 456 all your care 456 bring to the mercy 456 say leave it there 456 never a burdening 456 cannot bear 456 never a friend 456 like Jesus 456 come then at once 456 delay no longer 456 heed his entreaty 456 kind and sweet 456 you need not fear 456 a disappointment 456 you shall find peace at the mercy 456 all your anxiety 456 all your care 456 bring to the mercy 456 say leave it there 456 never a burdening 456 cannot bear 456 never a friend 456 like Jesus 456 all your pain 456 all your pain 456 all your pain 456 all your pain 456 all your pain 456 all your pain 456 all your pain 456 all your pain 456 all your pain Thank you all