(Disclaimer: This transcript is auto-generated and may contain mistakes.)

1 Corinthians chapter 7. This is a long chapter so we're definitely not going to be getting into every little thing about this chapter. Actually the very beginning of the chapter is really what I'm focusing on for this sermon. So last week I talked about marriage and divorce and really just the principles as far as what the Bible teaches about marriage, what it teaches about divorce and all that stuff. What I want to talk about is I want to talk to you married couples and I want to talk to the married that's out there and I want to talk about why marriages fail. And so obviously there's a lot of details as far as this goes but I want to talk about the major, major detail as far as why marriages fail and what the world will tell you is that it's finances. They'll say finances is the number one reason for divorce. I don't agree with it. Now obviously finances is definitely a factor. I mean if you're if you guys are you know completely in the hole you're declaring bankruptcy you can't pay the bills all that stuff obviously that's going to be vexing on a relationship no doubt. But that's not the number one reason actually the Bible I can't find anywhere in the Bible and I'm not saying I know everything about the Bible but I can't find where a marriage fails because of finances. Actually in this chapter I believe gives us the number one thing that will keep a marriage together. And so what I believe is that a couple that comes together stays together. And really this is the number one thing that we need to focus on in a marriage. And I'm going to get into the other aspects because obviously Ephesians chapter 5, Colossians chapter 3 talk about what the roles of the husband and the wife are and I believe since those roles aren't being met in the world that's one big reason too why this is why marriages are failing. But this this portion actually in here in 1st Corinthians 7 is something that both the wife and the husband are completely 50-50 on. And so this is something that that you know it's not one's responsibility above another literally it's both of your responsibility that this happens. And what I so we'll read there at the beginning and in the verse 1 is really telling us why he's talking about marriage in general here because he's talking about people that are unmarried and saying that if if you can't contain you know if you can't contain and you're going to commit fornication then you need to get married. And so that's what that's saying and that's why he's getting into this whole thing about he's usually saying flee fornication and that's where he leaves it. But now he's saying hey listen verse 1 there it says now concerning the things whereof you wrote unto me it is good for a man not to touch a woman nevertheless to avoid fornication Let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband. Now we're going to get into the due benevolence and not the frauding one another. But think about this. What was what was the main reason or one of the biggest reasons why he got married. What was the big driving point of why he got married. Well so I don't commit fornication because you want that physical relationship with with your spouse. And so obviously I'm going to be very delicate with this I'm going to use Bible language to talk about this because this is a subject the Bible talks about. And I'll say this the marriage is honorable and all and the bed undefiled. I don't want to know what goes on in there. So don't come up to me and tell me your your love life and what's going on and I don't want to know. OK. And I'm not going to tell you what goes on with my marriage. OK. Well what I'm going to tell you is that something needs to be going on. OK. So that's the main principle we're going to see here. But I'm just going to be candid with you when I got married with one of the big driving forces of getting married is because you want to have that physical relationship and you don't want to sin by committing fornication. Therefore what do you do you get married. And so that I believe is one of the biggest reasons if that's one of the biggest reasons why you get married. That should be the biggest reason why you stay married. And what we find today is that this is being being cast off as being just a minor point. OK. And or you get these teachers that get way too graphic and detailed into it like Jack Scott. OK. Never read any of his stuff. He's in prison for for statutory rape anyway. But but yeah we're not going to get graphic with this type of stuff. But we need to know that the Bible talks about it and it's a very important issue. I believe this is the main reason why couples are separating apart and it's something that grows to where that's where adultery is going to come in. And so we're going to see you know basically if if this is being met and at the home and with your spouse then it's never going to happen outside of your home. I mean so we're going to talk about it. So as we go on verse 3 and so it says let the husband render unto the wife do benevolence and likewise also the wife unto the husband. Now what was just talked about two verses before that. Now obviously fornication is is a sin because it's outside the bonds of marriage. But it's the physical relationship that a man would have with a woman and that's called fornication if you're not married. So now it's going into OK if you can't abstain then marry. You need to just marry so that you're not going to sin and commit fornication. But it says let the husband render unto the wife do benevolence and likewise also the wife unto the husband. So this is a 50 50 that is going back and forth. Now notice what it says in verse 4. The wife hath not power over her own body. Take that feminists. And so you know people will just cringe at this nowadays and the fact that you know I don't have power. It's my body my life. Now in the case of marriage the wife does not have power over her body but the husband. Notice how it goes the other direction too. And likewise also the husband hath not power over his own body but the wife. Do you know that your wife controls your body meaning that in this relationship she has power over you and you have power over her. This is this is something where this is the one flesh. This is where you have that bond of marriage where you know it goes both ways. And so in verse 5 it says defraud ye not one another. So it's saying give to benevolence and defraud ye not one another. Notice why. And then notice here it says accept to be with consent for a time. You know today now nowadays they say well you know the husband needs to have consent to have this physical relationship with his wife. Is that what the Bible teaches? Actually it's the opposite. It actually says you need to have consent if you don't do that. And so this whole idea of you know my husband raped me or something like that is just ludicrous. Now obviously I'm against you know abusing somebody. I'm not talking about like you know hitting your wife or doing anything like that. But when it comes to this physical relationship you don't have power over your body. Either way the husband doesn't have power over his body and the wife doesn't have power over her body and so you're not to defraud one another. Notice why it says that though. It says accept to be with consent for a time that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer. So it's basically saying why would you not do this? Well it should be just for a set time and you need to both consent for it so that you can give yourselves the prayers and prayer and fasting. You can see this stuff happening in the Old Testament where you know they would fast and they wouldn't come. You know like we'll see actually with David and Urijah. He didn't want to go into his wife because they were in battle and they were doing something. And so but notice what it says it says and come together again. So what are we talking about? Defraud ye not one another and the Bible uses these terms or wholesome terms. So if children don't understand this then you'll figure it out later. And so we're not going to go into the graphic detail on this but do benevolence defraud not one another. And how do you defraud not one another? Come together again. Why? That Satan tempts you not for your incontinency. This I believe is the number one reason for divorce and number one reason why marriages fail in America and in all the world. And this is one thing that we need to take note of. We need to check out our own situation and I'm not going around judging anybody and I don't want to know. OK so just put that out there on the table do not come up to me and tell me what's going on in the bedroom because I don't want to know. And so this is something that should be just between man and wife. And so it but it needs to be there. And that's what the Bible is teaching here is the fact that you need you need to render them do benevolence defraud them not. And why? Because Satan will tempt you. If this is the main reason and correct me if I'm wrong maybe I'm just crazy up here but that was one of the main reasons. Obviously I love my wife and I you know I liked her for other reasons. Right. So why would you get married if that's not what you want to do. And so if that's one of the main reasons and if people get married and they don't want to do that relationship what in the world are you doing getting married. What's the point. You know you just want to I guess you don't want to have children because that's how that happens. But but this is something that I believe is very very neglected in marriages today. And so go to Proverbs chapter 5 Proverbs chapter 5. The Proverbs and Song of Solomon talk about this subject a lot. And I just want to talk about this and we're going to get into other little aspects too or other things that we need to keep in check. But this is one where it's on both our parts is both on the husband is both on the wife to make sure that this happens and that this is going on and that so that Satan doesn't tempt you. In Proverbs 5 look there in verse 15. Now what you'll find is that the Bible especially in Proverbs and in Song of Solomon they use euphemisms or basically metaphors to describe something. OK so when we see this it's actually giving us basically metaphors to describe something. We see this parables a lot and obviously we're in a whole series of parables. And so there's obviously true meaning to this in the sense of if you're just looking at it you know drinking waters and all this other stuff. But we'll see that it's basically a picture of what that relationship is supposed to be like. But notice in verse 15. So Proverbs 5 verse 15. And if you know Proverbs 5 6 and 7 and you know the beginning chapters here we're dealing with the wife of thy youth versus the strange woman. And so there's this this whole battle of like making sure that you stay with your wife and that you don't go after this strange woman be enticed by her and commit adultery. So in verse 15 it says drink waters out of thine own cistern and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad in rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own and not strangers with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe. Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou my son be ravished with a strange woman and embrace the bosom of a stranger. Isn't it interesting that it's saying you need to embrace your wife and it says why would you be embraced with another. Here's the thing. If you're being embraced by your wife you will not be embraced bracing a stranger. And so when it comes to this coming together, think about an extreme example here and I'm going to give you an example or a frequency that's unattainable. Every day. Let's say you're coming together every day as a married couple. When would your spouse cheat on you? Good luck. Good luck. Cheating on your spouse if that was happening every single day and why would he want to? And so obviously I'm not saying honeymoon the rest of your life, okay, but what I'm saying is that if you want your spouse and you want to make sure your spouse is going to be faithful to you and that this isn't going to happen, that your marriage isn't going to fail, then make sure this is happening frequently because if this is happening frequently why would he? Why would he embrace a stranger? Why would he, you know, it says embrace the bosom of a stranger. It wouldn't make sense and, you know, the desire, why would the desire even be there to do that if the fact is is that you're rejoicing in the wife of thy youth. You're drinking of your own fountains and of your own cistern and obviously we're libertarian here. I'm libertarian and the fact that I believe that, you know, we should have our own land, we should have our own water, we should have our own things, right, well the same thing applies with marriage that my wife is mine. No one else's and there's nothing wrong with having jealousy over your wife, you know, godly jealousy, God is jealous and so I have jealousy over my wife meaning that she's mine, no one else's, but I need to rejoice in my wife and not another. Okay, so this is the main reason I believe people go off into adultery. Why is the Bible talking about this? Why does it say this in reference to adultery later? And so go to Proverbs chapter six. So it's giving you the answer on how you get away from this. How do you stay from committing adultery? How do you stay in a good marriage? How do you have that marriage be a strong marriage to where this isn't going to happen? Doesn't happen automatically and here's the thing, hear me out, just because let's say in a circumstance your wife or your husband's not giving you due benevolence and they're defrauding you, it is not an excuse for adultery. There's no excuse for adultery. Adultery is wicked and we need to abstain from it no matter what, even if your spouse isn't doing what they're supposed to be doing. But listen spouses, do not be surprised if you defraud your partner, defraud your spouse and they go out and commit adultery. They'll be like, what happened? I was, you know, doing everything right. And the reason that I'm preaching on this is because I see this happening all the time. I have friends that are married, have children and then their wife or their husband, you know, this can happen both ways. But for example, I'm speaking on a man's perspective because I'm a man, so forgive me for being a little on that side of the spectrum. But the wife will say, you know, I went into this conference and I listened to this preaching and I got all this spiritual stuff and I found out that you're just beneath me in spirituality and, you know, this marriage is, you know, I married the wrong person and all this stuff and how they're super spiritual. All their people look at them like they're super spiritual and they're defrauding their partner, they're not obeying their husband and yet they're supposed to come to me and tell me, oh yeah, I'm super spiritual, I'm walking in the spirit. That's hogwash. You are wicked, you're defrauding your partner, you're not obeying your husband and therefore you're not right with God and he's way more spiritual than you just by that definition right there. So this is an epidemic. This is an epidemic and ladies, try to stay away from getting around your girlfriends, start talking like you're on The View and talk about like how your husband's not doing this and that for you and men, don't get around your friends and start talking about what your wife isn't doing or what she is doing and start, you know, you should never trash talk your wife and ladies, you should never trash talk your husband. Now obviously, husbands and wives are going to have fights and that should be personal between them. Do not put that on Facebook, do not put that out in the public for people to see. I don't want to hear it, no one else wants to see it and all it does is make you look like a fool by putting your dirty laundry out there and all it is is just putting in a nail in the coffin that your relationship is going to fail. So what you need to do is if you have a problem, talk to your spouse about it. Say hey, here's what I need or what I'm lacking and here's how we're going to take care of that. Come together like adults and figure out how you need to fix the problem. But in Proverbs chapter 6 and verse 23, I just want to nail this in because if you do not rejoice in the wife of your youth, all you're doing is opening the door, opening the door for the strange woman. And let me tell you something there that there are women out there that just want to find somebody that's married. They are looking, they're seeking for, you know what, I don't know why it is, it doesn't make sense to me why someone would want a married wife or why someone would want a married husband. It's like they look at it and be like well they're good with commitment. It's like yeah, why would you think that if they broke up with their wife or they divorced their wife and came to you that they wouldn't do the same to you? Are you the exception that proves the rule every single time? You're just that studly that that woman that leaves her husband is going to just stay with you the rest of her life? Or maybe she'll just repeat the same process of what they're doing. Is it a big coincidence that a lot of people that get divorced and remarried, they're like on their fifth wife or fifth husband? Do you think that trend is a coincidence? So Proverbs chapter 6 and verse 23, and this is just warning, okay? What I'm giving you today is warning and what we need to just keep in check, okay? I'm not saying anybody's lacking in this, but we need to keep it in check. Proverbs 6, verse 23, it says, for the commandment is a lamp and the light, and the law is light and reproofs of instruction are the way of life, to keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman. Lest not after her beauty in thine heart, neither let her take thee with her eyelids. For by means of a hoarse woman, a man is brought to a piece of bread, and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. Remember, there's people out there hunting for you, married men and women. They're hunting for you. Can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals in his feet not be burned? So he that goeth into his neighbor's wife, whosoever toucheth her, shall not be innocent. Men do not despise a thief if he steal to satisfy his soul when he is hungry, but if he be found, he shall restore sevenfold. He shall give all the substance of his house. But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding. He that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonor shall he get, and his reproach shall not be wiped away. For jealousy is the rage of a man, therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance. He will not regard any ransom, neither will he rest content, though thou givest many gifts." Now this is an example that, first of all, if you commit adultery, you're getting a wound on yourself that will not be wiped away. A reproach that won't be wiped away. A wound and dishonor is what you get and, you know, that's something that you should be thinking about, first of all. Even if all these circumstances are piled up and you're just like, I can't take it, all this stuff, you need to think to yourself, you don't want to have that shame in your life to commit adultery. To cheat on your spouse. Think about how that would make you feel, first of all. I think the best way to think about not doing that is how would that make you feel if your spouse did that to you. And think about how angry that would make you and how hurt you would be by that and then go on from there and think about that. Because I can understand why saying this if thinking about my wife and if that were to happen I would want to kill that person. I would want to kill the man that did that. That's why it says, though thou givest, I don't care what you give me, you're my enemy. And so this is a very strong warning. Notice it started off in Proverbs 5 by saying to let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. It talks about basically coming together, let her breast satisfy thee at all times and be thou ravished always with her love. Notice at all times and always. Notice the frequency of this. And ladies, I'm again going on a perspective in what I've heard from men telling me and just the fact that this is something that's an epidemic and everything when it comes to marriage is failing. Whatever you think your husband needs, double it. Be on the safe side. Some of you probably need to triple it. But what I'm saying is that whatever you think they need, you probably need to double it. Because like I said, the more you guys come together, the less likely he's going to be tempted with someone else. Now obviously we need to guard ourselves when we come to these situations, right? When I go to the gym, I go to the gym at 6.30 in the morning, okay? And so at 5 p.m., if I went after work, there's just tons of people and the problem that you have with gyms and stuff like that, and obviously I go there, I work out and all that stuff, is the fact that women wear their yoga pants and wear all this stuff and it's just like you've got to be like one of those horses with the blinders on, you know? Where you're just like, where's the weights at? I need to find my place. And at 6.30 in the morning, there's not that many people out there, okay? It's me and some old guy that is doing his thing in the morning because old people don't sleep that long or whatever, I don't know. But anyway, all I'm saying with that, I'm not saying anybody here is old, I'm not linking anybody in here on that, but what I'm saying is, is that you need to be careful, you need to guard yourself. I don't wear my ring when I lift because I don't want to rip my finger off, first of all, but I also, you don't want to scratch it up, but I have one of those Qualo rings or whatever, I don't know if I'm saying that right, but it's like a little elastic type of band or whatever to where you can lift and stuff like that because even at 6.30 in the morning, I want to make sure that people know I'm married. And I make it a point too, because I'm wearing my ring when I go in and there's a lot of times women at the front that you check in or whatever, you give them your little card and a lot of times I'll get a little towel or whatever for lifting weights and all that stuff and I'll make sure I reach it with my left hand just so they can see, okay? And so these are little things that I want, because why? Because I don't want them to even wonder whether I'm married. I almost want it to be obvious like I'm going like this, hey, you know, and not that I think that they're going to be attracted to me because I'm not that narcissistic to think that like every woman that comes around is going to be flocking to me like I'm some like stud coming into the gym, but what I'm saying is that you want to make sure that hey, I'm out here, I'm married, I'm not trying to hide this and, you know, then why would the temptation come? Now obviously there's going to be still people that they don't care whether you're married or not. They're still going to come after you. And so you've got to just be, you know, careful with that and stuff like that. So but go to First Corinthians chapter 10 and this is what I want to say with this is the fact that you say, well, I don't see me ever doing this. I don't see this ever happening. We need to check ourselves because this is a temptation that obviously is common to man. First Corinthians chapter 10, and I'm trying to make this as not uncomfortable as possible because obviously this is a delicate subject when you're dealing with spouses and dealing with this subject, but I want this to be known that this should be a priority in your marriage. This should be something that you're working on. And so First Corinthians chapter 10 verse 12. First Corinthians chapter 10 verse 12, it says, Wherefore let him that thinketh he stand to take heed lest he fall. There hath no temptation taken you but such is as common to man, but God is faithful who will not suffer you to be tempted above that you're able, but will with the temptation also make a way to escape that you may be able to bear it. So be of good cheer. God's not going to allow you to be tempted above that you're able in this. But again, try not to put yourself in those circumstances. If you're the head of your company, don't hire all women. And I know people that did this, that hired mostly women and now he's divorced, shocker. So why put yourself in that situation? It's a good thing engineering doesn't bring in a lot of women. There is a difference between men and women, and engineering is one thing that women usually are fleeing from. And there's definitely women engineers, and I'm not against them, but what I'm saying is that when it comes to that, it's mostly men in my office. Because that's just what we do, and it's not just a plethora of women flocking in wanting that job. And so that's just something you need to keep yourself away from that, keep yourself out of those situations. And again, go to Song of Solomon, chapter four. The Song of Solomon obviously is a song between Solomon and his wife, and basically their relationship with each other. And when you read through it, if you're a child and read through this, you'd have no idea that it has anything to do with a physical relationship probably, or what it's entailing in there, which is why the Bible's so perfect and wholesome. Because the Bible's not graphic about this, the Bible's not going into detail about what happens between a man and a woman, but it does describe the love that you should have one toward another. And so, but I'll read Proverbs 5, 18 again, where we were talking about, Let thy fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe. Let her breast satisfy thee at all times, and be thou ravished always with her love. Now notice it's giving you a lot of metaphors, talking about hinds, and it's talking about the fountains and all this other stuff. Well, Song of Solomon's the same way. And what I want to say, first of all, is that just because you do not have butterflies in your relationship right now does not mean you married the wrong person, okay? If you're married to somebody right now, that's the right person. This whole idea that there's just one person out there, and you just got to find them, and it's just that one person God meant for you, I don't believe it. I don't believe it for a second. I believe that there's many people out there that you could be happy with, but you chose the one that you wanted above the rest. Does that make sense? You need to, and so obviously Holly, my wife, I chose her above everybody else. That's who I wanted, okay? It doesn't mean that I couldn't have made a marriage work with someone else. I just tried to find the best girl I could find, a Christian that's in the Lord, and that's who I decided to marry. But it doesn't matter. Whoever you're married to right now, that's your one. That's the one. And Hollywood has perverted marriage so much to the point where we think that, oh, you know, we messed up. There's this other person that's so much better, and I should have waited and married that person, or I should have married that person before, and I messed it up, and all this other stuff. It's just a bunch of hogwash, and even, you know, Hollywood, what you don't see after their credits roll is the fact that they're getting in a fight and they get a divorce later. And actually some of the sequels to these movies, you know, they did. They're split up in the next sequel or something like that. And so don't believe what Hollywood's shoveling because it's just a bunch of garbage. It's a bunch of dung. And so Hollywood knows nothing about a committed marriage. Look at their marriage rate in Hollywood. They're failing at it. So just as much as I'm not going to get my moral compass from a bunch of faggots and queers from Hollywood, I'm not going to get my moral compass from those same faggots and queers from Hollywood on what marriage should be like. And so that's the truth of the matter. We should go to the Bible, not to the wicked Hollywood of this world and what they're shoveling in your face on TV and all the propaganda they're trying to shove to you. They think that, oh, marriage is going to be this big bed of roses. You're never going to have a fight. You're never going to, you know, everything's just going to be, you know, honey this, honey that. Yeah, right. Okay. And if you think that marriage is going to be like that and you say, I can't, I'm not going to be able to go through a marriage because it's going to be like, it's not going to be like that, then don't get married because there's no marriage that doesn't have fights and spats and problems and ups and downs. It's going to happen because anytime you live with somebody that's not just yourself, you're going to have problems, okay? So what I'm saying with this is that the butterflies, you need to bring them back. This is your job. Okay? So here's the thing. Yes, husbands and wives need to come together, but husbands don't make it hard for your wives. Don't make it difficult for them to want to come together. And same thing with wives. Don't make it difficult for your husbands to want to come together. So you know, don't just go home, eat chips off your chest, and then expect your wife to want you, okay? And same thing with wives, you know, you need to be desirable to your husbands, okay? Either way, it doesn't matter. What I'm saying is that you need to make it easier. Doesn't mean it doesn't need to happen. And so what I'm saying with this is that you need to kick up the romantic, you know, aspect of your relationship sometimes. And with kids, this is hard, okay? It's obviously harder with kids. And so if you have kids, this is something that, you know, you need to work on even more. Because now you're going to be tired. Now you're going to have, you know, all these problems dealing with the kids, dealing with all this stuff, and it's not going to be, you know, all the time you're just in this romantic mood, okay? Most of the time it's not, okay? So this is something that you need to work on, you need to work at. And I know this is probably not the best metaphor. But when it comes to lifting, you need to work on the muscles that you don't like working on. The main problem with people that lift a lot of times is they do the same thing over and over again. They're like, I'm good at bench press. So that's all they do. And then they got chicken legs, okay? Leg day is the one thing that most people don't like doing. But you know what you have to do? You got to keep doing it until you like it. And guess what? You will like it eventually. And once you get good at it, and once you, you know, you start doing more weights and stuff like that, you actually, leg day becomes your favorite day. That's not a perfect example, but what I'm saying with this is that you work at this, it's going to be easier, it's going to be easier for this to happen. And so sometimes you need to work at it, figure out how the best way to do things. And so you just need to work at it. But if I could put into your mind, this is a priority, that's what I want to do today. This is a priority that you need to have in your marriages, that you come together. And that if it's something that you're struggling with, you need to work at it. And make it something that is easy. And so the more you work out, the easier it becomes. Those weights get easier and easier as you do it. And so Song of Solomon chapter 4, remember we were talking about to let thy fountain be blessed, drink waters out of thine own sister, notice what it says in Song of Solomon chapter 4 and verse 12, a garden enclosed is my sister, my spouse. Now first, don't get caught up on the fact that he calls him his sister. It's not because he's from West Virginia. My wife is my sister, spiritually, because she's a sister in Christ. So that's why he says my sister, my spouse. But anyway, it says that a garden enclosed is my sister, my spouse. So he's comparing her to a garden. A spring shut up, he compares her to a spring. A fountain sealed, remember, let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of thy youth. Thy plants are an orchard of pomegranates with pleasant fruits, campfire with spikenard, spikenard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, and with all trees of frankincense, myrrh and aloes, with all the chief spices. So he's describing his wife. He's not describing a literal garden, but he's using the garden to picture what he thinks about when he thinks about his wife. That says a fountain of gardens, a well of living waters and streams from Lebanon. Awake, oh north wind, and come thou south. Now what you have to understand with Song of Solomon is that they're going back and forth. So Solomon's speaking, and then his wife is speaking. And so that's where people get mixed up with the lily of the valley. Jesus is not the lily of the valley. He's talking about the woman. The woman is the lily of the valley, is a lily among thorns, you know. Anyway, so that's another story. So she's switching. She's now talking now. So he was talking about her and the fact that she is a garden enclosed, a fountain sealed. In verse 16, she's talking, it says, Awake, oh north wind, and come thou south. Blow upon my garden that the spices thereof may blow out. Let my beloved come into his garden and eat his pleasant fruits. Now see how it's a euphemism or basically a metaphor for talking about the physical relationship that you're having together. Notice she smells good, okay. So ladies, bathe, you know, try to take care of yourselves. And obviously men, same thing, you know, don't, you know, wear deodorant or something. But what I'm saying here is that it's showing us what he thinks about his wife and showing the fact that she's saying come in to her garden. And so one thing that you need to realize is that a man, you know, we're strong and we don't have a lot of emotions, okay. I'm not an emotional guy, okay. I cry at funerals. That's about as far as you'll get me usually when I'm weeping, okay. And sometimes even then it's like I don't know what's wrong. I'm almost looking at myself, am I not empathetic, like am I like a horrible person, you know, because it's just like not hitting me or something. So you probably won't find me up here weeping as I'm preaching a lot, okay. But what I'm saying with this though is that men are very, not emotional, but this is something we want our wives to desire us. Call it ego. I don't care what you call it, but that you want women to desire you. And think about this. If you don't want someone to tempt your husband, think about how are women going to tempt your husband, by desiring him, by giving him attention, by making him think that she wants him. And so as a wife, think about this, the fact that you want your husband to desire you. And so this is what, if you read Song of Solomon, that's your homework for tonight, read Song of Solomon, it's only eight chapters, it's a good homework assignment. And think about this relationship of the wife and the desire that she has toward him. And so notice, go to Song of Solomon chapter five. You've got to think about the fact that when you got married, how did you start this thing? Because how it started should be how you're trying to keep it going, okay. And so obviously at the beginning of the relationship you're trying to impress her, she's trying to impress you, and obviously this is going to be that way all the way through your marriage. But you need to be working at that. Don't just give up. A lot of people are just like, I got married, time to be fat and lazy, and I'm not going to the gym anymore. I'm married, she's stuck with me. It's like, okay, that's not going to work out, okay, because, I'm not saying that that would justify getting divorced or anything like that, but I still work out. First of all, I want to be healthy because I don't want to die early or something, that's one big reason. But I also want my wife to desire me, and I want to make it easy for her, let's put it that way. I want to make it easy for her, I don't want to make it hard for her to desire me. And so, but notice the desire that she has for Solomon. In Song of Solomon 5 verse 2, I sleep, but my heart waketh. It is the voice of my beloved that knocketh, saying, Open to me, my sister, my spouse, my dove, my undefiled, for my head is filled with dew, and my locks with the drops of the night. I have put off my coat, how shall I put it on? I have washed my feet, how shall I defile them? My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him. Think about the butterflies. Verse 5, I rose up to open to my beloved, and my hands dropped with myrrh, my fingers with sweet-smelling myrrh upon the handles of the lock. I opened to my beloved, but my beloved had withdrawn himself and was gone. My soul failed when he spake. I sought him, but I could not find him. I called him, but he gave me no answer. The watchmen that went about the city found me, they smote me, they wounded me. The keepers of the walls took away my veil from me. I charge you, a daughter's Jerusalem, if you find my beloved, that you tell him that I am sick of love. That's not saying she's sick of love, like I'm sick of this. She says it's like love sick. We would say love sick, right? And so she's sick of love, meaning that she's basically drawn herself out, her soul's poured out for him, and he's withdrawn himself. Now this is, I believe, a dream that she has, basically where, and so you gotta understand this is a song, right? And so, think about this, the desire that she has for her husband, that when she went to the door and he wasn't there, she literally, like her soul just failed. Like where's my husband? Where's my beloved? And she's searching for him, saying, can you find him? Find my beloved, and the love that she has toward him. And so you need to show that to your husband because your husband is gonna want to desire you from that. And so this doesn't happen by accident, though. This isn't just some magical potion. I'm not just waving some magical potion, now everybody's gonna have wonderful marriages. This is something you gotta work at, and something that you need to try to appeal to. Because when it comes to this, the mental aspect of the love that you have, one for another, is a huge part of it. So I talk about going to the gym and stuff, but really that's not the big part we're dealing with here, is the physical aspect. It's the mental aspect. What are you thinking about? Are you thinking about your spouse? Are you thinking about her, and I'm on my end, thinking about her throughout the day, or are you thinking about someone else? And so the more you think about someone else, the more you think about other things, the more you're not gonna be thinking about her and not desiring her. And so you wanna try to make your spouse desire you. You wanna try to have their desire toward you. So this is something that we need to work on so that we have that physical relationship. And here's the thing, you have that physical relationship, well that's gonna help them desire you. Just case in point, that physical aspect is gonna help them desire you. It's gonna help them with this aspect. So you try to do this without having that physical relationship and have them desire you like Solomon and this woman and his wife, good luck, it's not gonna happen. And so this physical relationship has to be there. Now Song of Solomon chapter seven verse six, so I just kinda wanna give you a little bit of a tour de force through Song of Solomon to really just show you like hey, this isn't just a fairy tale. Now when you look at Hollywood movies, that's a fairy tale. That's unattainable, that's stuff that you should not be looking at as far as this is my marker, Disney movies, where you go off with the prince or the princess and you live in your castle and have babies and everything's just fine. It's just not the case, okay? Get Disney out of your head and get Song of Solomon in your head when it comes to the relationship you should have for each other. And Song of Solomon chapter seven verse six, it says, how fair and how pleasant art thou, O love for delights. Now first of all, what you gotta understand is that everything they say about each other is very positive. So one thing that you need to have in your relationship or in your marriage is that you're talking about each other positively. I don't care if you're angry at them, you need to be talking about it positively, okay? You need to turn that around to where you're positively talking about them and especially to others. You should not be talking bad about your wife or your husband to other people. That alone is gonna hurt your marriage. But in verse seven there it says, this thy stature is like a palm tree and thy breasts to two clusters of grapes. I said I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of the boughs thereof. Now also thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine and the smell of thy nose like apples and in the, sorry, I need something in the roof of my mouth, in the roof of thy mouth like the best wine for my beloved that goeth down sweetly causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak. I am my beloved's and his desire is toward me. Now first of all, how you gonna know the taste of your wife's roof's mouth? Obviously this is talking about coming together, this is talking about kissing, this is talking about stuff like that. And so this is something just for married couples. But notice what it says there, causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak. That's strong, okay? And you know, movies will try to portray this and this love that you have for each other and just longing for each other. But think about that, how much you desire your spouse that you're literally talking in your sleep about them and for them. And you think about the story with her, you know, that she's having this dream and she's like going through the city trying to find him and all this stuff. And so the desire, it says his desire is toward me. Why? Because they're coming together. And that coming together is a fact that it's causing his lips to speak while he's sleeping. And so that's strong. But this is why they're dreaming. Well Ecclesiastes, you don't have to turn there, but Ecclesiastes 5 verse 3 says, for a dream cometh through a multitude of business. You usually dream about things that you're doing a lot of. You usually dream about things that's on your mind, right? Who here has had dreams about soul winning? I've had dreams about soul winning. Why? Because I do it every single week. Because it's on my mind. I have dreams about things that I do often. And sometimes they're bad dreams because they're just things that you have a bad day at work or you have bad circumstances. And so you have bad dreams because why? It's on your mind. Usually your dreams are based off of what you're thinking about. So you want to have good dreams, you want to have righteous dreams, you want to have godly dreams. You just think, well how do I control my dreams? Then you have dreams about things that you shouldn't have dreams about. Well have your heart and your mind in the right spot. But how do you do that? By doing the things that you should be doing. And so I believe the reason that he's dreaming about her is because a multitude of business. So it says in verse 11 of Song of Solomon, it's the Song of Solomon, it keeps going so it's explaining why. Why is his desire toward her? Why does his lips speak while he is yet asleep? Verse 11, come my beloved, let us go forth into the field, let us lodge in the villages, let us get up early to the vineyards, let us see if the vine flourish, whether the tender grape appear and the pomegranates bud forth, there will I give thee my loves, the mandrakes, give a smell, and at our gates are all manner of pleasant fruits, new and old, which I have laid up for thee, oh my beloved. Now I'm not going to preach the whole thing of Song of Solomon as far as what all this stuff means. Mandrakes are aphrodisiacs so you can just go into all the different aspects of this. But the fact is that she is giving him her loves. He's coming into his garden and why is he speaking while he's sleeping? Because his desire is toward her. Why is his desire toward her? Because they're coming together. Now I want to show you a story with David, now this is a famous story with David committing adultery. And most people just go to the story of David committing adultery and say well David fell into sin. He didn't just fall into sin, it's not like he was just super righteous, everything was going right in his life, he wasn't doing anything wrong and all of a sudden he saw this naked woman and slept with her. That doesn't happen just overnight. Someone that commits adultery, there was something going on and there was problems way before that happened, way before it happened. And so that's why you need to nip this in the bud. Most of you, I pray to God, aren't anywhere close to committing adultery or in those type of situations, but you need to nip it in the bud, you need to basically be like no we're going to make sure this never happens. Remember wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. So 2 Samuel chapter 6, so 2 Samuel chapter 11 is where he commits adultery, but 2 Samuel chapter 6 is obviously before that and I want to give you one of the big reasons why I believe he fell into this sin. And it wasn't finances because David was the king of Israel. So they had no problems with finances. So 2 Samuel chapter 6 verse 16 is when they're bringing the ark of the covenant back in to Jerusalem and notice what goes on here. In 2 Samuel chapter 6 verse 16 it says as the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michael, Saul's daughter, looked through a window and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord and she despised him in her heart. Now first of all Michael is David's first wife. Now here's a big thing, David had multiple wives, there's a big problem first of all. The Bible says not to multiply wives unto yourselves, it says that you're supposed to be the husband of one wife in the New Testament and so big red flag, he had multiple wives. But his first wife despised him in his heart when he came in dancing before the Lord with the ark of the covenant. And so we don't have to read all this for sake of time. And verse 20, so he comes into the city and he's blessing the people and all this other stuff. Verse 20 though is where Michael, so basically David and Michael his wife are having a big spat between each other here. And verse 20 it says then David returned to bless his household and Michael the daughter of Saul came out to meet David and said how glorious was the king of Israel today who uncovered himself today in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovered themself. Now first of all she despised him in his heart and I believe that there was jealousy going on here. Now could you understand it, he comes back with more wives, okay. So obviously show me a case in the Bible where they had multiple wives and it worked out alright or they didn't have problems. So there's obviously jealousy and he's despised, now she's wrong to do this, she's wrong to despise her husband in her heart but you can understand where she's coming from and the fact that she's probably jealous over David anyway when it comes to this. So she sins by despising David in her heart. Notice what David says, and David said unto Michael it was before the Lord which chose me before thy father and before all his house to appoint me ruler over the people of the Lord over Israel therefore will I play before the Lord. So what he says here is true, he chose Saul, he's basically saying you shouldn't be despising me for this, I'm doing this for the Lord, not for anybody else, this is just basically he's humbling himself before the Lord because dancing would make me look like an idiot. But basically that's what he's doing is he's humbling himself to give God praise for the ark coming back in. This is where I believe David is making a wrong move. In verse 22, and I will yet be more vile than thus and will be base in mine own sight and of the maidens which thou hast spoken of, of them shall I be had in honor. Now first of all, you should never threaten your life with doing something like this. And so never say well this woman would like me, this woman would do this or that, never do that, and you should never be bringing in that, I don't ever tempt my wife with divorce and be like this is, unless it's a joke, a joke, as far as we're just joking around with each other, as far as we know that's not what we mean, but never say taunt that or put that on the table. Divorce is not on the table, she's stuck with me no matter what, but the thing is you should never taunt about that stuff and you should never, never, man, never bring women in as far as like some kind of bargaining chip or like an ultimatum. Never bring in that ultimatum. That's a horrible idea. But notice in verse 23, therefore Michael, the daughter of Saul, had no child until the day of her death. Did it say she was barren? No. Why didn't she have any child until the day of her death? Probably because this fight may cause them to never come together again. So was David's relationship with his wife good if she's not having any children? Because children are inheritors of the Lord and children are proof of a blessed marriage and of a marriage that's fruitful and a marriage of those that are coming together. Doesn't always mean that, right, I mean it doesn't mean that you're having this great marriage if you have a bunch of children, but if you have ten children, you're probably doing something right, okay, the fact that you're still coming together. So Michael sinned with despising David when he came in, but then David sinned on the fact that he wasn't giving her due benevolence and he gave him this, he basically was giving her this ultimatum like, hey, I'm going to be had and honored by them since you don't want to honor me. And so don't backlash, you know, just because your spouse isn't doing their part, you still got to do your part. So go to Colossians chapter 3, we're getting close to being done here, we'll get into, we'll go back to 2 Samuel and look at the passage of David committing adultery, but I wanted to show you that that happened first though. So was David perfect in his marriage, is, okay, that should alone tell you something's up and something wasn't right, alone in the fact that even if it didn't have that story in there, he had more than one wife. That's enough right there to show you that he had some problems. What happened with Solomon, Solomon had great problems because he had a bunch of wives. And so Colossians chapter 3 in verse 18, notice what it says, Colossians chapter 3 verse 18, it says wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord. Now what was the main thing that Michael, she should have been submitting herself to David and she was despising him in her heart and so she wasn't doing what she should be doing as a wife. And so this is the big, what we see here is the fact, why is, why are marriages failing? Because they think that this should be 50-50. Now due benevolence is 50-50, but this isn't 50-50. I'm not to submit, I don't have to submit myself unto my wife. She is to submit unto me. That's the roles. The husband is the boss, the husband is the head of the home. It used to be very well known, it wasn't that disputed back in the day, but is there a big reason why, you know, back in the 1950s that homes with fathers and mothers that are married was around 98% but now it's like 69%? Do you think that's a big coincidence when there's just a big push to destroy the home and destroy the patriarchy when it comes to men being the leaders? And I'm not even counting the fact that all the families that are broken homes because they never got married and they just have children out of wedlock. So we have a big epidemic with this. Why do you think, kids, do you know that most of the mass shooters come from homes without fathers? Come from broken homes? Do you think that's a coincidence? So this is a very timely subject. If you get anything out of this, we need to make sure that our wives are good and fruitful and that we're coming together so that we don't have adultery, we don't have a divorce for the children's sakes. For the children's sakes. Do not destroy your children's lives because of your selfishness, because of your temptations, because you don't want to do what the Bible says. So wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord. So obviously if your husband tells you to go out and shoot somebody in the face in cold blood and murder, we're not talking about that. But most of the time, your husband, what they tell you to do is not against the Bible, therefore you need to submit yourselves unto them. But notice in verse 19, it says, husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against them. Isn't that exactly what David did with Michael? He was bitter against her. Bitter to the point where he didn't come together with her again until the day of her death. That's strong. That's strong bitter. So don't be bitter towards your wives. And so we need to remember this. Ephesians chapter 5, go to Ephesians chapter 5, just to kind of add another layer to this. And obviously husbands, you need to love your wives. Your wives need that tender love and care that we don't necessarily need. You want to know what a man needs in a relationship? I'll show you right here in Ephesians chapter 5. Both partners need due benevolence. They need to not be defrauded when it comes to coming together. But Ephesians chapter 5 verse 33 says, nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and let the wives see that she reverents her husband. You want to know what a man needs in a relationship? Respect and due benevolence. You give a man those two things as wives, you give your husband that, everything else will work out. All those finance problems, all those other problems in the world, your children are like beating you over the head with toys. Obviously you got stuff you got to work out, but that'll take care of it. Give respect, reverence to your husband, especially out in public, and you give him due benevolence. You have that desire toward your husband. He'll go to work a happy camper, he'll come home a happy camper, and he'll be in a good mood most of the time, and obviously there's days that you're not. And husbands, love your wives, give them that tender loving affection, help them out any way you can, provide for them, and give them due benevolence, and I believe they'll be a happy wife. Happy wife, happy life, right? So anyway, go to 2 Samuel chapter 11. I believe that's a big portion. They're telling you now that the husband's not the boss. And actually the roles have switched because when you look at the stupid TV shows that are out there, I can't remember what the one was, I never really watched it, but it was like King of Queens, was that it? Where the guy was just this big oaf, which is just pretty typical. The husband can't do anything right, he's a big dumb animal, and then the wife is coming in, correcting him, she's the intellectual one, and she's the one saying how it is. And that's what's been programmed into the minds of every single child since I've been growing up, and I'm sure before that, that that's the way things are structured. Dad's a big dumb animal, mom's the intellectual that has to fix everything that he breaks, and that's, I mean that's just what's being taught. And that's just the opposite of what the, I mean obviously the wife shouldn't be a big dumb animal either, okay? That's not what I'm saying, that is not the opposite. You should both be intellectual, and you shouldn't be demeaning anyone, but the husband makes the rules, the husband calls the shots. The husband is the one that, where the dime stops is on his hand, but guess what? He has to take responsibility for every single thing that he chooses to do. And so if the marriage fails, husband's fault. If the children grow up and become heathens, I put it on the husband, and the father. If anything fails in that marriage, it's the husband's fault because the husband didn't lead like he was supposed to, and whatever choices he made apparently weren't the right choices. So wives, you need to trust in your husband that he's gonna make the right choices, that's why you come to church, that's why you read your Bible, is to get the knowledge and wisdom you need. And I pray for wisdom every day, to be a good husband, to be a good father, to be a good pastor, and in that order, okay? And so that is my prayer, and obviously I'm still, I've been married for over three years, so I'm not like, I'm a young buck when it comes to marriage, but what I'm showing you is Bible principles. And so go to 2 Samuel, if you're there already, in chapter 11, so this is that famous story of David. David committing adultery. Every time, have you ever read this and you're like, David, don't do it, go to war, and you're like, and you're thinking, it's not gonna change, you know? But anyway, in verse one it says, and it came to pass after the year was expired, at the time when kings go forth to battle, that David sent Joab and his servants with him and all Israel, and they destroyed the children of Ammon and besieged Reba, but David tarried still at Jerusalem. So first of all, what you see here is David's not doing his job. He's not, he's being idle. The idle mind is the devil's workshop, right, that's what they say. And so just as much as women should marry and bear children so that they're not idle, and that they're not idle and they're not busybodies and tattlers because they got enough on their hands with their children. The same thing goes for men, you need to keep yourself busy, work hard, and don't be idle. Don't be at this point where you're just like, what can I do, I'm bored. Well that's just gonna open yourself up to do something wrong. In verse two there, it says, and it came to pass in the even tide that David arose from off his bed and walked upon the roof of the king's house, and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself, and the woman was very beautiful to look upon. Now here's another problem, why is he getting out of his bed? First of all, the sleeper of a laboring man is sweet. If he was working hard, he wouldn't be getting out of bed in the middle of the night, he'd be out. And I definitely had, it seems like every night's like that, I can't even make it to my bed, I'm just like, fall on the couch and just die, and then just pass out and try to make it to the bed. And so, if you're laboring, and you're doing what you should be doing, you shouldn't have problems sleeping, first of all. But second of all, he left his bed, where's his wife? Wives? Why would this even be a temptation? Because it's not happening in his bed. Marriage is honorable and all on the bed undefiled. That's where it should be happening, and apparently it wasn't, because he arose off his bed, he's walking on the rooftop, and he sees a woman, and he lusts after her, first of all, in his heart, obviously, which would be a sin. And then, in verse three there, it says, and David sent and inquired after the woman, and once that is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliim, the wife of Uriah, the Hittite, that should be alone, be like, okay, can't do that. First of all, it should mean that I can't do that anyway, because I'm married, but the fact that she's married as well, and it's one of his mighty men. And David sent messengers and took her, and she came in unto him, and he lay with her, for she was purified from her uncleanness, and she returned unto her house, and the woman conceived and sent and told David, and said, I am with child. So obviously, you know the story, he ends up having Uriah killed because of this. So he committed adultery, he had one of his good friends killed, God obviously takes it out on him, and that child ends up dying. And so, huge sin here, but was it just that he fell into sin? No, there was a lot of things that were going on with David that shouldn't have happened. It says right in the first verse, he should have been at war. If he was doing his job, he wouldn't even have the opportunity to fall into sin. If he would have been giving his wife due benevolence, he wouldn't have left his bed. If he was working hard, he would still be sleeping, and he wouldn't even have gotten off his bed to go walk around the housetop. See a lot of factors are in there, and it was compounded over years as far as why this happened. And so obviously David fell into a big sin with that. And so husbands, you need to love your wives and don't be bitter against them. They're gonna do something that's gonna make you angry, and they're gonna try to use something against you and try to give you ultimatums or something like that. You need to not be bitter against them. Wives, you need to reverence your husbands and submit unto them. But all of us, men, or husbands, wives, we need to not defraud our partners. Number one, don't defraud your partner. Come together. You come together. Couples that come together stay together. That's what I believe. And I believe that a marriage fails, and one of the main things that probably happened from the beginning is that that started being less, less, less, less, less, less, the way it was where it wasn't happening, and it needs to happen. And so do what you need to do to get that back together. Read Song of Solomon. Read Song of Solomon. That'll get your romantic side on, get you in the mindset of being romantic. And try to maybe go on a date, try to do something to basically where you can just be together. Especially I'm talking to people that have kids because having kids is gonna cause you to not have time to do anything. And so set aside a time where you can have a date and your parents can watch the kids or something like that to where you can have that time together, rekindle that relationship that you have with your spouse. Because first of all, if you guys fail, your kids will fail. That needs to be number one. It talks about the elder women teach the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children. Notice the order. Love your husbands, love your children. This whole idea of I need to love my children first, then my spouse, no. It's your husband first, it's your wife first, then your children. Because you know what, your children are gonna leave one day and now you're left with your spouse and so you need to have that relationship and it's gonna be a lot easier if that was the case to begin with. You're just like, alright, well they're doing their thing now, it's still the same, now I still love my children, right, but it's just the fact that you're not having to take care of them and deal with all those situations. So we're gonna end with Song of Solomon chapter 8, go to Song of Solomon chapter 8. So hopefully everybody's doing alright with this and I'm just preaching to the choir, but I want to preach this because I believe this is one of the major issues when it comes to people that get into this situation of divorce or adultery. Sometimes it doesn't even lead to adultery, but the reason they're getting a divorce is because their needs are not being met at home. They're being enticed by those that are outside the marriage and they want to be with them because their needs are not being met at home. You need to drink water out of your own cistern and out of your own fountains and be libertarian about this. As far as the fact that, and be liberal, there's nothing wrong with the word liberal, but it needs to be the fact that it's your own wife, it's your own husband that this is going on with, and then if that's being met at home, if someone tries to entice your husband, tries to entice your wife, they're gonna laugh at him because it's not gonna be enticing. And so you need to have this at home. Song of Solomon chapter 8 and verse 3, and actually verse 7, part of verse 7 is what we had as far as our moniker verse for our wedding, Holly and I's wedding. And so just think about this as far as the relationship and just the love that you should have for your spouse and try to attain to that. None of us are perfect. None of us have perfect marriages. None of us are like, you know, Prince Charming and the Princess and everything is just, everything is perfect, okay? We all have to work at this. And verse 3 it says, His left hand should be under my head and His right hand should embrace me. I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that ye stir not up nor awake my love until He please. He is, who is this that cometh up from the wilderness, leaning upon her beloved? I've raised thee up under the apple tree, there thy mother brought thee forth, there she brought thee forth that bare thee. Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm, for love is strong as death. Jealousy is cruel as the grave. The coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it. If a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would be utterly condemned. Let that be said about what your husband or what your wife thinks about you and don't let them destroy the substance of their house for someone else. And so we need to take this to heart. We need to apply this to our lives and do not defraud your partner and have this type of love that you have that you see in here. Try to attain to that if you can. Try to attain to the love that you have. Just because you've been married for five years, ten years, doesn't mean that you can't have a romantic type of marriage with each other and it doesn't have to be fake. It doesn't have to be like Hollywood. It can be just a genuine relationship that you have for each other, that you love each other, that you care for each other, that you hug each other, and I think your children should see that you hug each other, that you give each other a kiss goodbye. That's going to help your relationship stay together, but it's also going to help your children see what a relationship should be like because they're going to need that. It's not a big coincidence that a lot of people that come from broken homes end up being a broken home themselves. So I thank God my parents stayed together because that was a big influence on me. A big influence on me to stick through hard times, that it's not just a bed of roses, but that they stuck together and that's sadly not the norm today. It's not the norm. People I grew up with, I'd say half my friends came from broken homes, at least, and there were definitely friends that had their parents were staying together, but I'd say about half of the friends that I grew up with, all of them had broken homes and most of them, their fathers weren't there. And so the father figure is a huge aspect and we need to make sure that our relationship with our spouses is number one. Number one, come together. And then obviously we need the husbands, you need to love your wives, wives you need to submit to your husbands and keep the roles where they need to be and in the end you'll have a happy marriage. That's the Bible. That's not just my advice, that's what the Bible's teaching here. And so the Bible's right, the Bible's true and you may say that's crazy, how can we do that? The Bible is always true, it's always right, taste and see that the Lord is good, try it. Make sure, try what the Bible says about this type of stuff, submit unto your husbands, see if it works, see if it makes you happier, and it will. And husbands, be the provider, but in the end, give due benevolence to your spouses. Let's end with a prayer. Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for this day and pray that you'd be with us as we sing another song to you, but also as we go out soul winning, Lord we pray that you'd hold off the rain maybe so we don't get poured on, but also as we come back tonight, I pray that you would be with us and Lord we love you, pray that you'd give us safe travels in Jesus Christ's name, amen.