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Well, good morning everyone welcome to Mountain Baptist Church Take your song books and turn to song number six Song number six in your song books will sing beneath the cross of Jesus And if you would stand we'll sing song number six Beneath the cross of Jesus, I fain would take my stand The shadow of a mighty rock within a weary land A home within the wilderness A rest upon the way From the burning of the noontide heat and the burden of the day Upon the cross of Jesus Mine eye at times can see the very dying from Who suffered there for me and from my smitten heart with tears to wonders I confess The wonders of his glorious love and worthlessness I take across my shadow For my abiding place I ask no other sunshine than the sunshine of his face Content to let the world go by to no no gain nor loss My sinful self my only shame my glory All the cross And let's pray Heavenly Father Lord again, we just want to thank you God for this beautiful Sunday morning You've given us to meet in your house and to hear your word preached I pray Lord now that you would just fill our pastor with your power and spirit We love you for it's in Jesus name we ask all of it. Amen All right may be seated and take your Mountain Baptist song books those blue folders there in your chairs Your Mountain Baptist Psalms hymns and spiritual song books and turn to page number two page Number two in your Mountain Baptist song books will sing Psalm 15 on page number two Lord who shall abide in thy? Tabernacle who shall dwell in thy holy hymn Lord who shall abide in thy? Tabernacle who shall dwell in thy holy hymn he that walketh up rightly and worketh righteousness and Speaketh the truth in his heart. He that walketh up rightly and worketh righteousness and speaketh the truth in his heart He that back by death not with his tongue nor to with evil to His neighbor nor take up reproach against his neighbor He that back by death not with his tongue and whose eyes Person is Contemplate on them that fear the Lord and whose eyes Person is content and body on Them that fear the Lord he that swereth to his own He that putteth not His money to usury he that swearth to his own hurt and change He that put His money to usury nor taketh reward against the Innocent he that do with these things shall never be moved nor taketh reward against the Innocent he that do with these things shall never be moved Lord who shall abide and I Tabernacle who shall dwell and I Amen well welcome to Mount Baptist Church on this beautiful Sunday morning. It is supposed to warm up a little bit I think it's supposed to get into the 50s eventually today but Better than up north where all the snow's at right so but glad everybody can make it out definitely packed house today And so as far as the service times today, everything's gonna be normal. We're gonna have our obviously our church service right now And then we're gonna have our soul winning time at 1 p.m. So our main soul winning times gonna be at 1 p.m. Today get some lunch come back here if you wanna go out soul winning and then the women's prayer meeting is gonna be this afternoon as well, so That means between the services After we're already out soul winning the ladies are gonna do a prayer meeting here in the I Guess this is the only hall we have I was gonna say like the auditorium, but then what else is there right so But that being said obviously We'll see how that goes with With that we've been trying this out Usually we'd have a prayer meeting on a different day and and a lot of ladies can leave You know kids at home with the husbands and all that So, let's see how it works out. I think today would be a great day to really figure out if this will work well, so Let me know As far as that goes and then we're gonna have our afternoon service at 4 p.m. Today and then As far as the soul winning marathon this past Saturday or yesterday Seven seven salvation. So praise the Lord for that and just thanks to all those that went out for that. I Know the weather wasn't particularly fantastic But Just praise the Lord for the salvation there After the service this morning, we're gonna have some baptisms. So if you want to stick around for that, you're more than welcome to And so hopefully the water is not too cold, but we'll see so but So that that's gonna happen if you haven't been baptized or maybe you've been baptized But you got saved later on after you've been baptized and you want to get baptized The only requirement for baptism is that you believe and that you believe right on salvation. That's it and And I'll dunk you so I don't hold you down too long but so that's available there if anybody is Needing that so just let me know or ask brother Dave as well. And so And then as far as upcoming events We do have this Wednesday is gonna be kind of a special Wednesday because we have Easter coming up on Sunday, so We're gonna do the Lord's Supper that evening So we usually do it on Sunday evening But we're gonna do it this Wednesday evening And so if you can be in your places there, I know Wednesday is a hard night to come out on Especially with work and everything, but I'm gonna be probably just doing a more of a special sermon for You know the the death and resurrection or I'm sorry the death and crucifixion and everything of Christ leading up to the resurrection on Sunday, so So we'll put maybe a little pause on our series and first Samuel for that. So and Then we have This Friday we have the men's prayer meeting and this coming Sunday, so next Sunday Between the services we're gonna have a fellowship So we have a list up there as far as like anything that anybody wants to bring as far as food You don't have to bring anything but if you're going to bring something we just want to know so we know what's gonna be there and You know, see everybody's bringing a pie and no one knows that I mean I wouldn't be against that if we just had like 20 pies, but We do kind of want to make sure that we're spacing that out But so that being said there's a list back there if you want to put on there if you're bringing anything again You don't have to bring anything And so we're gonna have a fellowship in between the services. Our service times will be normal though. So Sunday morning Sunday afternoon Everything will be the same We will hope you know, we're willing it'll be nice outside and we'll have a candy scramble for the kids and everything We did it over there last time. I don't know how much candy did you mow over? So So we'll see how we'll see how it goes but But that'll be fun this coming Sunday and so And then on the back your bullets in there. We're still in the month of March. So we're still memorizing Jonah chapter 2 we're gonna be memorizing the whole book of Jonah, but and as we go into April Jonah chapter 3 so If you if you haven't started that it's a pretty small book pretty small chapters so you can start in Jonah 1 right now, and I'm sure you can get caught up if you wanted to so And then Proverbs 18 22 is our memory verse for the week Who's a fine at the wife find it's a good thing and obtain a favor of the Lord and then birthdays My mom's is today so happy birthday to my mom wherever she said oh there she is And so we have my mom's today Is laying here by chance But he's really upset about that well, hey brother Lane if you're listening We'll remember so well, I have no brother Dave will remember and then Jalen let's go how old how old Jalen gonna be Ten whoa double digits so Well, amen there. So we'll and then Allison is next Sunday. So One week exactly away. So how are you gonna be Allison ten as well double digits? So we'll sing happy birthday to my mom and to Jalen in the back there and so In the anniversaries All right, did we get the cradles sure about that so we get them again You know double honor You know, I'm gonna stop there And Then the Fords are on next Sunday. So And then on the pregnancy list there be in prayer for crystal McCloy Do in August and she is pregnant with twins so Be in prayer for the McCloy family. They're all that be in prayer for all ladies. It just had little ones and so I think Anastasia And Tabby, but don't forget about The spina's and the Fords and everything. Obviously, there's always still that kind of transition of having more children there So just be in prayer there that everything is going well I Think that's about all I have for announcements He's reading this morning by the Anthony yes, so brother Dave's gonna come he's gonna Offering Boston the back there if you wanna give time an offering by the baby room to the mother's babies only Brother Dave's gonna come and sing one more song We're gonna do the happy birthdays and then brother Anthony's gonna be reading Ephesians chapter 5 for us All Right take your songbooks and turn to song 209 Song 209 in your songbooks will sing sunshine in the soul But before we do that, we need to sing happy birthday to mrs. Robinson and to Jalen so Y'all know the drill Come on come on All right, all right, all right we have it you know, we need to find out if there's any visitors that have birthdays Yeah, yeah Todd when's your birthday man? Oh What day of February 8th? We could sing a birthday to you Todd won't you stand up? Okay, wait, we got we got somebody else baby. We got people volunteering people Good night. All right. Oh, you're gonna be here next week brother You gonna be here next week Yeah, you stand up anyway, come on there you go there you go, there you go, all right, what was your name again Devon hold you a Devon 18 well, congratulations. All right, just 18 tomorrow like yep. Congratulations brother and then Todd hold you brother All right stand up. All right. Hey, listen, this is equal opportunity Church. Okay everybody stands up and All right. We'll sing. Happy birthday to Anybody else? Okay, sing. Happy birthday all these people ready. Here we go. Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday God bless you Happy birthday to you Well, happy birthday to all y'all and we will sing a song 209 There is sunshine in my soul today more glorious and bright Then clothes and any earthly skies for Jesus is my Oh, there's sunshine blessed sunshine When the peaceful happy moments roll when Jesus shows His smiling face there is sunshine in the soul There is music in my soul today a carol to the king and Jesus listening can hear the songs. I cannot see Oh their sunshine blessed Sunshine when the peaceful happy moments roll When Jesus shows his smiling face there is sunshine in the soul There is springtime in my soul today For when the Lord is near the dove of peaceings in my heart the flowers of grace appear Oh their sunshine blessed sunshine When the peaceful happy moments roll When Jesus shows his smiling face there is sunshine in the soul There is gladness in my soul today and hope and praise and love For blessings which he gives me now for joys laid up above Oh There's sunshine blessed sunshine When the peaceful happy moments roll When Jesus shows his smiling face there is sunshine in the soul All right, take your Bibles and turn to the book of Ephesians chapter 5 Ephesians 5 in your Bibles and we'll have brother Anthony read that for us Ephesians chapter 5 Bible reads be therefore followers of God as dear children and Walk in love as Christ also hath loved us and hath given himself for us an offering and sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling Sabre but fornication at all on and all uncleanliness Or covetousness. Let it not be once named among you as become of Saints neither filthiness nor foolish talking nor jesting Which are not convenient but rather giving of banks for this, you know and no whoremonger Nor unclean person nor covetous man who is an idolater hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God Let no man deceive you with vain words for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience Be not ye therefore partakers with them For ye were sometimes darkness But now are ye light in the Lord walk as children of light For the fruit of the Spirit is in all got all goodness and righteousness and truth Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord and have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness But rather reprove them for it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light for whatsoever doth make manifest is light Wherefore he saith awake thou that sleepest and arise from the dead and Christ shall give thee light See then that ye walk circumspectly not as fools but as wise Redeeming the time because the days are evil Wherefore be ye not unwise But understanding what the will of the Lord is and be not drunk with wine wherein is excess but be filled with the Spirit Speaking to yourselves in Psalms and hymns and spiritual songs singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the Savior of The body therefore as the church is subject unto Christ. So let the wives be to their own husbands in everything Husbands love your wives Even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water Washing of water by the word That he might present it to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing But that it should be holy and without blemish So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies he that loveth his wife loveth himself for no man ever yet Hated his own flesh but nourished and cherished it even as the Lord to the church For we are members of his body of his flesh and of his bones for this call shall a man leave his father and mother And shall be joined unto his wife and they too shall be one flesh This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ in the church Nevertheless let every one of you in particular So love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Let's pray dear Lord Thank you for your word and thank you for this morning where you can gather continue to learn I pray that you would be a pastor Robson film with your Holy Spirit help us all to be edified Jesus name I pray Chapter 5 and I'm preaching a sermon entitled pleasing your spouse Pleasing your spouse now. I'm gonna be preaching on this subject More so dealing with the fact that there are there are people out there that are really over spiritual when it comes to marriage when it comes to Christianity meaning this is that They they look at well You know my wife needs to submit to me and I don't need I don't give a rip whether she likes what I do Or what I'm doing or where I'm going or what you know, whatever the case may be The idea is that I believe we should be trying to please our spouse So this is gonna be a sermon that's more so gonna be kind of geared towards husbands towards their wives So I'm gonna be hitting on things as far as wives to their husbands because I think there's this idea of you know woman you must submit to me and You're there to please me and it's not the other way around a lot of times Okay, and what I want to get into is some Some Bible doctrines and just some Bible principles when it comes to the idea that one it's not wrong To want to please your wife, you know to please your spouse to do things that she likes to do. Okay Now when it comes to this I do want to hit on the very first part is Is that the proper roles of marriage? Okay, meaning this is that the husband is the head of the wife Okay, the husband is the leader and the buck stops at him, okay He is the one that gets the final say he is not a two-headed monster Where it's like 50-50 as far as what the how things are gonna be done But so I want I want to I want to show that clearly and the Bible clearly shows this But you don't you don't just take that and then just basically like you know, what? Where you want to eat doesn't matter because it's where I want to eat You know where you want to live doesn't matter because where I want to live You know what house we get doesn't matter to what house I want, you know, and it's like this idea this over Like taking that too far You know when it comes to this if you're gonna look at this as far as okay You say well marriage is like a dictatorship. Okay, but it's a benevolent dictatorship meaning this is that you know, what? We're we're yeah, we are the the leader but in the end We're called to love our wives Okay, we're called to basically I I don't know about you when I got married I didn't get married just to be in some contract with a partner to be like my roommate in life It's like well, you know, I married you so I could be a pastor and so that I can you know Basically just produce children and that's it right and it's kind of like this weird mentality and out in the world today There's this thought process where there's a lot of people that don't want to get married You know, they don't want to get married and they're just like well marriage is you know Obviously the laws are against men and you know If the woman leaves then basically they lose half their stuff and all that stuff and don't get me wrong That's true in a lot of cases and but then you have you know The people over here is like well marriage the reason you should get married is because the whole purpose of man is reproduction it's like That's I mean listen I wanted to have children Okay, that's not why I got married though just being honest, okay, I got married because I love my wife and you know that anyway, so I'm gonna be getting into different things when it comes to that is the fact that the matter is Obviously, I'm for having children. I have five of them. So I'm not against having children obviously, but People take these things too far So where it's kind of this idea of like well mayor marriage just for like the purpose of like You know serving Christ and having children and doing all this and listen. Yes That's what we should be doing with our marriage for sure But don't take out the whole idea of the the the union of marriage and and what it you know Other aspects as far as like why you would even get married. Okay, because for example, you'll have the the conservatives over here That will say well you need to get married and marriage is only for Reproduction and that's why you get married and that's all these other things and then you have the people are here It's like well, I don't want to get married because of all the laws and all this stuff Here's why you get married to a born to avoid fornication You know that that's what the Bible says, you know, a lot of people is like well What's the difference between being married for 10 years or living with somebody for 10 years? One's right one sin. That's the difference Marriage is honorable and all in the bed undefiled, but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. There's the difference So when people say well, why should you get married? I'd be like, here's your options be celibate meaning like You're just but you don't you don't commit any type of act with it with the you know, the opposite sex Okay, you can do that. You want to live that lifestyle? That's fine or get married, you know Those are your two options. Okay, that's the two options that you have. Okay, so When it comes to this I hear these arguments from all these different sides here from the I hear from the liberal side I hear from the conservative side. I'm like you guys are all missing the boat The reason you get married in a lot of cases is so that that Union That the bed is undefiled essentially. Okay, and so when it comes to this I want you to know first of all What's the proper? What's the proper roles? Okay, so Look it down at verse 22 verse 22 It says wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church And he is the Savior of the body therefore as the church is subject unto Christ So let the wives be to their own husbands in everything So it gives you a comparison as the church is to be subject unto Christ The wives are to be subject unto the husbands and everything. Okay, you're like well What if he tells me to go out and kill somebody? Of course, that's not what it's talking about. You know, it's like when people bring up these hypotheticals. It's like Obviously if your husband tells you to commit some crime or sin then The higher power of God is obviously who you who you listen to, right? Your subject unto the higher powers the Bible says well your husband wives is A higher power to you. Okay The Lord is above that okay, so it when it comes to anything that would be outside You know anything that would be breaking the commandments of God obviously you listen to God over your husband, right? but I'll say this if There it doesn't contradict Bible doctrine It doesn't I mean as far as like commandments in the Bible to where you're not sinning then you need to follow your husband Okay, you need to follow your husband and what he says you need to do. Okay, that's what the Bible teaches Now what people do here is they'll go to verse 21 and just try to negate this whole thing All right, the verse 21 right before that it says submit yourselves one to another in the fear of God Well, therefore you need to submit one to another in marriage It's like okay. So I guess just negate everything that's said after that right? What is talking about is in the church Obviously, we're to try to submit one one to another, you know and be humble before one another and submit one to another Then it goes on to a subject as far as wives submitting on to their husbands, okay, and so People just will just negate that and be like see it's a 50-50 thing. No It's very clear as the church is subject unto Christ. The wife is to be subject unto her husband Okay, the role of husband and wife is crystal clear and this is obviously not popular in 2024 This is something that you know I would be looked at as some bigot some chauvinist kind of guy to say that but this is just facts It's the way that God laid it out. This is the way it should be you want to have if you want listen I'm not saying that this is guarantees a great marriage But I'll say this is that you want to have a marriage that lasts long and it's gonna be a healthy marriage Then you need to have this being applied And none of us are perfect. Okay when it comes to this type of thing So it's not like, you know, well my wife didn't submit therefore our marriage is horrible It's like, you know, like all of us are gonna have times where you're gonna fight or you know There's gonna be times like that. So I'm not coming to you today preaching a sermon be like listen Listen to me because I know exactly how to please my wife I you know, I do this and I'm perfect in this and just you don't do like me, right? I'm I'm just gonna show you Bible principles as far as this is what should happen This is what you should do and we're all gonna come short of this right whether husbands as far as leading and leading Right, we're gonna come short whether it's wise submitting to your husband's you're gonna come short But the idea here is that you're constantly trying to fit that model You're trying to be in that type of role that you're to be in. Okay, and You know outside people just look at it be like, oh, this is horrible and all that You know what you'll find is that husbands that lead well Their wives their wives end up being really happy But being the leader doesn't mean that it's a great marriage Okay, meaning like let's say you had that role defined well, and you're leading and you're the buck stops at you That doesn't necessarily mean That you're gonna have a great marriage Okay, so go to 1st Peter chapter 3 1st Peter chapter 3 1st Peter chapter 3 So authority structure is this God the Father Christ husband wife That's the authority structure, right? As far as if you're married, okay, obviously if you're not married then you don't have you know, the spouse there But the idea there is that any of us would be God Christ and obviously Jesus Christ is the Son of God The second person in Trinity obviously is God, but you have a hierarchy within the Trinity the Father Son, Holy Spirit okay, and We're obviously under God's authority but then if we have a wife then our wife is under our authority and Children are under the husband and the wife's authority. Okay So but I want to state this. Okay, and I've heard this before Some people have mentioned this to me, but I've heard this before. Okay. This is is the idea of Husbands treating their wives like children like they're their children. Okay, and I completely Disagree with this. Okay Our wives are not our children. Okay, we do have authority of our wives, but it is different than our children Okay, meaning this I do not spank my wife. Okay There's a soundbite But you know like the obviously discipline, you know, we discipline our children Spanking is applied when necessary all that stuff But my wife is not my child She's my wife She she and I are one flesh And what I want to show you here is that there's a big difference between your spouse and your children. Okay, though obviously The buck stops at me as far as what's gonna be done. Okay, and But in the end She's not my child. Okay, and So in our first Peter chapter 3 in verse 1 here, this is also a great passage to show You know wives being subject unto husbands even when let's say the husband isn't saved. Okay That's what it says here in verse 1. It says likewise Ye wives now likewise if you were to look at chapter 2 is talking about how Christ was subject unto the Father Okay unto death So likewise is showing you that in like manner Right, the wives are to be to the husband's when it comes to being subject. Okay So if you want to know how strong that is, that's very strong now Likewise ye wives being subjection to your own husbands that if any obey not the word They also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives The conversation is talking about how they live like their manner It's not just how they speak but how they live and how they carry themselves and what they do, right? But it says In verse 2 while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear Who's adorning? Let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair and wearing of gold And of wearing of gold and putting on of apparel But let it be that hidden man of the heart in that which is not corruptible Even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price So it's talking about you know, what what do you want your wife to be? Well, obviously submissive Meek quiet You don't want that loud Obnoxious type of you know The angry the brawling woman where you want to be in the corner of a housetop then to dwell with that woman, right? Is that you like the meek and quiet spirit and basically what it's saying is that even if they don't obey the word They may be one just basically by seeing how submissive you are to them and how you're you're willing to basically do Everything you want to do now, obviously this isn't talking about like they tell you to do sin But just in general you're being a submissive wife you're doing what you should what you should be doing for your husband all of that right And it says it gives an example in verse 6 even as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord now if you know the story She says that in our hearts. Okay, so when she calls Abraham Lord, she's saying in her heart you know is my cannot am I gonna conceive my Lord being old also and She's speaking within herself Laughing because obviously the Lord's there telling Abraham that you're gonna have a son through Sarah And so that shows you that this wasn't some outward like oh, I'm calling you, sir You know the Lord sometimes, you know, the way we would say it is like sir, right? You say that's ridiculous like calling your husband, sir Calling him Lord, right? Well, here's the thing. She didn't just say it outwardly to be like kind of a show like hey, you're my lord She was saying it within her heart. This is what she thought of her husband is that he's my lord now Obviously not the Lord but basically the respect that she had for her for her husband which gets into a point as far as like what men want from a marriage is Simply this okay. Now if you differ from me, whatever. Okay, but this you get you give this to your husband and Everything I mean he'll charge hell with a squirt gun give him respect and do benevolence. You're good to go That's all that's all and I you know, they'll take on your husband will take on the world after that That's all that's all you really need to give them. I mean you feed him every once in a while. That's good, too You know And I'm joking obviously, you know your wives, you know, my wife doesn't she cooks she cleans She does my laundry like all these different things, right? But it really comes down to that and I believe the Bible teaches that as well I'm gonna be getting into that a little bit. But the idea here is that a Sarah called Abraham Lord Whose daughters you are as long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement It was basically saying is that you can be like if you do what Sarah did then you're basically it's kind of like that idea of You know the the son or daughter of meaning like you're basically like unto them, right? You're being like them You're kind of like their child and the aspect that you're following their footsteps, right? But notice what it says here and this is really what I want to get to here verse 7 likewise ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge giving honor unto the wife as Unto the weaker vessel. I don't know if you know this but women are weaker than men Facts, okay the fact that the world doesn't recognize this right now or but well most the world recognizes this But the idea that people think that women can like beat men and in like physical sports is insanity Okay, and they're finding out really quick how insane that is. But the idea here is that obviously You know anatomy wise they are the weaker vessel But weaker vessel doesn't mean that they're not as intelligent. Okay Women are just as intelligent as men, but there is a difference anatomy wise. There's a difference even Mentality wise and when I say mentality wise I'm not saying that in a matter of like well one smarter than the other Just different types of thinking. Okay You know Eve Was deceived by the serpent. She was beguiled by the serpent Right and she ate the fruit. She gave it to her husband, but it says Adam was not deceived But the woman being deceived was into transgression, okay, so You know, there's there's a difference there as far as Adam knew he wasn't deceived by the serpent He took it because his wife took it. Okay, and there's a difference between the mentality there Okay and so but notice what it says here dwell with them according to knowledge giving honor to the wife as unto the weaker vessel notice this as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered and here's what it comes down to is that My wife and I are heirs together of the grace of life meaning this is that Everything that I do She's a partaker of everything that she does I'm a partaker of and we are a team if you will in this life When it comes to the things of God when it comes when it comes to people that I went to Christ or things That I do as a pastor. It wouldn't be possible if she wasn't my wife right now By the way, you know, I can't be a pastor unless you're the husband of one wife having faithful children Not accused of right or unruly So without my wife I wouldn't be standing up here right now preaching to you It doesn't mean that I wouldn't maybe be going out soul winning or something like that But the idea there is that there is something to be said about the fact that your wife is Heir, you know, she is heir together with you your heirs together in this life That's a big difference between you and your children okay, and you being one of one flesh and bone of your bone like that type of Union there is different than your children so that this idea of treating your spouse like a child and And I think a lot of cases it's an excuse for for For abuse to be honest with you And This idea of like why I'm the husband, you know do what I tell you You know what or what? You know, it's always ridiculous to me when people are just like well, you know, I had to what you can't handle her Right you afraid of her. She's gonna beat you up Listen, if your wife can beat you up get to the gym right now If your wife can beat you up right now if you're why if you're afraid physically if you're white Then I hope she beat you up Because then maybe you'll get some grit and go work out or something. I don't know And I'm being dead serious right now listen like what are you even doing if that's the case Like wow, she was since she was coming at me I had to like hit her it's like She's coming at you. I could literally pick my wife up with one arm and just carry her down the street if I wanted to Just just pick her up and just run up the hill if you if you want me to Just I'm here tosser. I mean, what are you talking about? like people The thing that I want to get to here is that good at go to Hebrew chapter 12 Hebrew chapter 12 You know what the Bible says is that giving honor unto your wife Giving honor unto your wife Not treating her like a second-class citizen Not treating her like a child We're not to talk to our wives like children. We're to talk to them as Equals now equal in value equal in inheritance all of that obviously That'd be like okay. Let's say I went to work, and I have employees right And I have employees do I talk down to them do I talk to them like dirt. That'd be like listen slave Do the work I told you to do or do you talk to them like equals even though technically I mean you are employing them, right? You talk to them with respect you talk to them as equals, and you're in it together to make a profit for the business, right? But obviously you have an authority structure there right we're not communists And we believe in a hierarchy here the patriarchy Well it looks like that anti patriarchy is working real well for our country right now Isn't it I mean everything's just going fantastic right now destroying the patriarchy I? Mean look back in the 1920s and 1930s. I want you to look just look up videos Back then and I want you to tell me that things have gotten better With society look at the way that people dressed like the way that people carried themselves Look at how look at how Modest everybody was dressed, and they weren't Amish you know they weren't like this. They were just dressed modestly, okay? And so, but Hebrew chapter 12 verse 5 here Notice what it says here verse 5 dealing with chastisement, okay? It says and ye have forgotten exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children Now in context who are we talking about here? What is that? What is the picture? What is the allegory here? parents to children, right My son despise not thou the chasing of the Lord nor faint when thou art rebuked up him for whom the Lord loveth He chaseneth and scourgeth every son who we receive it, so we're talking about chastisement. We're talking about a parent to a child I Mean if you if you're listen if you're having to like discipline your wife like a child There is something majorly wrong with your leadership skills And probably their mental state, I don't know like Like what is going on for that to even be the case And so let's let's make a clear delineation husband and wife That's its own thing right you have an authority structure there children That's not even an equation when you're talking about your spouse here How you treat your children and how you discipline your children how you raise your children Is different than how you lead your wife? Okay and obviously you lead your wife through the washing of the water of the word if you're gonna look at that example of Christ in the church is That you know how you know how I get my wife to you know When we first got when we first got engaged when we were when we were before we even got engaged And all that we were reading through the Bible and there were things that she didn't agree with that. I Hold as certain doctrines, you know how I you know how I won her over We read the Bible and she saw it in the Bible and she's like, yeah, there it is One thing was dress standards. Okay, as far as like wearing pants or wearing dresses Okay, now one thing that my wife did say to me before we ever got married was she's like I'm not I don't really see that Necessarily like you see it, but because I care about you. I'll follow your lead on this Now that's the rightest response now here think we weren't even married yet So she didn't need to follow my lead on it, right? By the way, if you're engaged or you're dating somebody you have no say in what that woman does until you're married. Okay? You can't just go leading about like as far as like you must wear this you must do this until you're married Okay, you don't have that authority yet Now you can suggest it You can say I believe this is what the Bible teaches and obviously if they want to take that but they don't have to at that point but all that to say is that You know, there's obviously the verses of Deuteronomy 22 5, you know, not wearing that work pertaineth unto a man It's a vice-versa right? Obviously man is not to wear that works pertaineth to a woman And in that there's there's subjectivity as far as like What do you believe is the woman's garment in the men's garment all that stuff, right? And so that was the argument when it comes to that But as we were reading through the Bible You know, what really clicked is more more than just the argument as far as like the dress compared to the pants type thing and Modesty and all that is the fact that reading through the Bible you see a stark contrast between what the Bible teaches and what the world's doing and What my wife said is like I want to wear dresses because I want I don't want to be anything close to what this World is right now, right? And really that is kind of the big difference as far as like why you would have different dress standards It's like I want to be separate from the world. I want to I want I don't want to be like the world okay, and That being said is that how I didn't you know what I didn't beat my girlfriend or my spot or my my you know fiance and be like You must wear a dress, you know And to be honest, you know at the time I wasn't a pastor or anything like that I wasn't like this is like I Wasn't that concerned about it to be honest with you? Just say just say no Okay, and maybe that's just because maybe I was just confident that I could win her over on it Cuz you know what? I told her I said, you know what? I'll buy you all new dresses I'll just buy a whole wardrobe of dresses, you know, whatever you want From wherever you want, right? And so that's the type of mentality you should go about and not be like listen wicked sinner Get on board with me right now You're like, I don't know why I'm still single, you know, the thing is though The thing is though when it comes to these type of you know, I would call that secondary kind of stuff or stuff That's not like primary type of stuff You know, what I did though is use the Word of God the Word of God is the ultimate authority But also if you're dating somebody or you're wanting to get engaged to somebody if they're just blatantly like nuts to the Word of God Well, that's a red flag, isn't it? If they're just like, you know what nuts to that verse you're like, well Okay, I guess that answers my question as far as whether this is gonna go forward So you can see how are they going that direction and you lead them that direction you don't beat them in submission Okay Obviously the same applies for children but know this is that try reasoning with a two-year-old Try speaking logically with a two-year-old or three-year-old and then come back to me and talk to me about why we shouldn't spank our children Okay So that being said is that obviously? You know spanking is biblical and there's reasonings why you use spanking Okay Now this isn't a sermon on about spanking but anyway go to 1st Corinthians chapter 7 And I feel like 1st Corinthians chapter 7 is a passage where people will look at and say, you know Like it's almost like they think it's a sin To want to please your spouse, okay Like it's like it's wrong to want to please your spouse and I feel like they use this passage Because this passage is kind of using that as an example of why you should be single. Okay, and Let's just read verse 32 here The passage starts off with the fact that to avoid fornication Let every woman have her own husband and every man have her own wife, right? The whole context is like getting married to avoid fornication. Okay, and In verse 32 here says but I would have you without carefulness He that is unmarried cares for the things that belong to the Lord how he may please the Lord But he that is married cares for the things that are of the world how he may please his wife So they'll take this be like see, you know, that's Paul's kind of teaching that as far as like That's something that you don't want to be doing right? Like it's some negative. Well know this is that The same thing said about the wife to the husband. Okay, so let me ask you this If you're gonna say that about like, oh, I don't have to please my wife Well, look at the next verse It says there is a difference also between a wife and a virgin The unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord that she may be holy with both in body and in spirit both She and she that is married. I'm sorry, but she that is married care for the things of the world How she may please her husband. So let me ask you this. Is it wrong for your wife to please you? The whole context matters of what's being said here, okay Because notice to keep reading there says but if a man One is not saying it's sinful because notice if any man think that he behaved himself Uncomely toward his virgin if she passed the flower of her age and need so require let him do what he will He said it's not let them marry. Guess what? It's not a sin to get married. You know in this case, it's not wrong But this is it says nevertheless he that standeth steadfast in his heart having no necessity that But hath power over his own will and hath so declared his heart that he will keep his virgin doeth well So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well But he that giveth or not in marriage doeth better Here's a case of good better best type of thing, right? None of its wrong, right? Like if someone gets married It's fine. It's good, right? but what Paul is stating that That it's better to remain like him where he was unmarried and he could basically just be without distraction and serving the Lord Okay But no the context look at verse 25, you know back up and get context as far as what he's even talking about It says now concerning virgins. I have no commandment of the Lord yet I give my judgment as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful. So he basically like, you know, I've you know, basically Been able to handle this. I you know, he's not struggling with fornication He can basically remain a virgin and not deal with that issue, right? And he's basically saying let me speak on that And he's basically this isn't a commandment of the Lord It says I suppose therefore that it that this is good for the present distress I say that it is good for a man's soul to be In context for the present distress is what he's saying right and this is his judgment basically saying Yeah, if you're unmarried You know you have more time You're not dealing with kids like you can do a lot for the Lord listen before I got married Yeah, I mean I could read a lot more. I can memorize a lot more good. So wanting a lot more all that stuff, right? That's true But know this that that exception right there is not the rule, okay? That the rule is is in Genesis chapter 2 18 when Adam was created It says and the Lord said it is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a help meet for him That's the rule it's not good for a man to be alone now some people can handle that some people Live fine like that some people don't really want a spouse and that's fine And the really this passage is kind of like yeah That's great, and you can actually capitalize on that because you could be very productive that way but listen if You're gonna have trouble with fornication You need to marry you know that's kind of the idea there is that that's the rule That's what most people are gonna do most people are gonna get married or should get married because to avoid fornication Okay, because we all have those natural desires there also our memory verse for the week is Proverbs 18 22 who so findeth a wife findeth a good thing and Obtaineth favor of the Lord and you say where is this sermon coming from well? There's a lot of hatred towards marriage out there nowadays There's the MGTOW guys Men going their own way that sounds a little gay to me And I don't mean happy That sounds a little borderline like hey, where are you going? What way you going? I'm not for the MGTOW movement, okay This idea in what it comes down to is that women have gotten super liberal and like you know I got away from traditional values and all that stuff and Therefore they're just like well nuts to it. We're just gonna stay single and all that And what usually happens in those situations they become a bunch of war mongers or just worthless Okay, they live in their mother's basement At 35 and just like eat Cheetos off their chest Watching anime. I don't know I Mean it's like you know like the Japanese the Japanese like isn't it like their society is gonna Basically die out because they're not having children Because all the men all the men all the males are in the basement or in their parents house Just playing video games watching anime They're literally kamikaze-ing themselves And so this idea of marriage is bad is is ridiculous, okay Marriage is great I'm not saying marriage is easy but in the end The Bible you know the God is saying it's not good for a man to be alone you're saying that if you find a good wife you find a good thing and Obviously you want to find you want to find a virtuous woman all of that There's a lot that goes into like what type of woman you're looking for and here's thing men If the women are so liberal out there. Here's what you do you get them saved and You lead them It's a lot easier for us men to lead the women than for the other way around You try to you know obviously first Peter to kind of cover it covers like what do you do Women if your spouse or you know, how do you lead the man? Well, it's harder, isn't it because you have to lead by submission So that's not easy and so when it comes to This context matters that the rule is You know finding a spouse getting married like what's the alternative being celibate? But here's the problem though is that most people can't live that celibate life like not easily anyway It's gonna be hard, and I'm not I'm not against Paul This is a great passage for those that are single because sure yeah, I mean you could do great things for God It's gonna be hard to deal with So I'm not for this MGTOW stuff. I'm and I'm obviously not for all this hatred on marriage, but when it comes to when it comes to marriage what the Bible teaches as far as why people are getting married is For the reason of the union of marriage for for the due benevolence for the coming together For that type of to basically put the fire where it should be I remember a preacher one time said you know basically marriage is basically putting the fire in like a furnace Right like because we all have those natural desires But basically putting it in the first so you don't burn down the house Right and then obviously if you're married You know committing adultery is like basically letting open that furnace to where it's just gonna burn down your house, okay, and Basically it's it's better to get married than to burn And what that's talking about is burning in lust and committing fornication and going down that that trail of sin there Okay, go to go to Song of Solomon chapter 3 Song of Solomon chapter 3 Say okay. Well, how do I please my wife right man your man? You're like, well, how do I please my wife? Now Women you can testify later on whether what I'm saying is accurate as far as what you are looking for from your husband But I believe biblically speaking. This is what Ultimately you're wanting from your husband and that is security and stability Security and stability You want to be taken care of? You want safety right security safety to be taken care of and that would entail obviously Income, you know food all that stuff but stability in the fact that you're mentally stable That you're not like wishy-washy You're not like what here one minute another here another minute and meaning this that you have a path that you're going on And I believe what women really want and women will say well, no, that's not what I want I want to be I want to be the one that's like You know leading the charge no, they don't You know what? They want they want a man that has a mission a righteous mission a righteous path that they're going on and You know what? You know what women want is you to put out your hand and say hey come with me Come with me and join me in this that's what women want And by the way This may be a whole nother sermon for another day Man there's a difference between pride and confidence when it comes to women Anyway, if you're if you're young and you're and you're looking for spouse you're looking for, you know future wife Pride will turn off a woman Like you wouldn't believe but confidence is what they're looking for and There's a thin line sometimes between that being confident to where like that guy knows what he's doing He's competent He knows what he's doing. He's got a path. He's on it. He's on that path and he is not Worried about how he's gonna get that done, right? And then someone's just prideful She's like look at me. Look what I've done, you know and just like just self Accolades galore as far as just what they're doing and all that stuff No, you want you want a man that it's clear what they're doing Everybody knows what they're doing is right and they only have to say it and so Look at this passion. I'm not gonna go to all the verses just on this type of stuff But I want you to look at this one. This is Song of Solomon And this is what she has to say. This is what the woman has to say about her husband Solomon, okay It says verse 6 it says who is this that cometh out of the wilderness like pillars of smoke Perfumed with myrrh and frankincense with all powders up of the merchant behold his bed Which is Solomon's three score valiant men are about it of the valiant of Israel They all hold swords being expert in war every man hath his sword upon his thigh because of fear in the night So let me ask you a question. Do you think she feels safe at night? I I Think she does. I mean I would say Yeah, you know I had that many soldiers around me But obviously, you know We're not gonna all have that like bodyguards galore around us and just like just walking around her house making sure everything is alright But ultimately I do believe that women are looking for that man That's gonna get up out of bed and like see if someone's trying to break into the house, right? You know that man is gonna like alright get my shotgun, you know And I'm gonna go out here and like deal with the situation right and it'd be like it was a raccoon Don't worry about it, you know, whatever, you know the idea there is that You know that safety that security that's there and listen. The wife is the weaker vessel So if you're walking down the street Ladies, do you want a guy that you believe can hold his own and protect you? Or do you want someone next to you they're like I might have to pick this guy up and carry him out of this situation That exists today It exists and it Listen, I know that there's this feminist movement out there that are trying to feminize men But I'll say this Women may say they want that man that's in touch with his feminine side, but they're lying to themselves They Want a man that's obviously not a jerk Right not full of pride But they want a man that is a man That a bear is coming at them Hey, listen, I know women you may not know this but every man in here is thought about how they would deal with a bear You're like, why would you think about that? You'll appreciate that if a bear comes onto the scene, okay And you're always thinking about I don't have a gun. What do I do? Right because obviously if you have a gun You're just like I'm just shoot it right We're like, I don't have a gun. I got a pocket knife. What could I do with that? Right. Could I could I like slit its throat like you're like running through scenarios Could I put it, you know, could I put a rear naked choke on it would that work? Ultimately, you're gonna die, right but You're preparing mentally It's always good to prepare mentally before you get into situations like that It's like if you go to the DMV, I like someone to just punch me in the face before I go in At least then I'm mentally prepared for what I have to deal with But the idea there is that obviously the man is just wired differently as far as like the The fight-or-flight type of like hey, how am I gonna deal with this situation? How am I what you know, like you may I don't know if you know this But a lot of times you'll go to place especially when you have children and stuff like that You're like checking your surroundings, right? Does anyone look out of sorts right? Where's my exits? Like what do I you know, where would I where would I take my family? Where would I put them right if I had to go deal with a situation? There's just things like that that men are thinking about now I'm not saying women aren't thinking about this type of stuff if you have kids and stuff like that I'm not saying that but in the end I Believe every woman would like a man to be there in that situation Right. I mean think about it if you had If you had a choice as far as a bear is gonna bust through that door Who do you want to take care of that situation? I'm picking Rob, you know He's like six foot seven, you know He's gonna take it out he's gonna wrestle it to the ground Go to James chapter one James chapter one. So you want someone that's going to give you a security safety all of that When it comes to financially physically But I want to say this emotionally, okay, and this is what I really want to get to with this as far as being stable You need to be that emotional stability for your wife You're like are you telling me that women are emotional? The question that you may ask is do I have to tell you that So we all know that there's different emotions and just the emotional roller coasters when it comes that that's just hormonal It looks I'm gonna be covering an overview of Leviticus and and tonight or this afternoon Leviticus has a whole chapter on The difference between having a girl like birthing a girl and birthing a boy and Just scientifically biblically there's a difference in hormones whether you have a girl whether you have a boy In the recovery process for having a girl is double then for a boy biblically speaking But medically speaking they know that to be true, too. Okay, it's all has to do with hormones It has to do with that type of thing and guess what hormones affect How you think they affect your emotions they affect all that and I'm not here. Yeah, obviously I love women I love my wife, but there is a difference between that and meaning this is that And my wife's not emotional, okay So my wife's cut maybe not the best example of this because she's pretty unemotional if that makes sense. That's a word But I would say if I was gonna give a graph of women's emotions, okay, all the women are gonna hate me But it'd be kind of like a roller coaster a little bit, you know, right it's kind of like this You're like today was great. Yeah, you're here wait till tomorrow boom Now man's emotions are kind of like this It's not that we don't have like down times and high times and all that stuff Well, we're kind of just right here, you know kind of in that realm right and our job is to basically Help stabilize the other emotions, right? And the thing is is that That stability mentally there And y'all know, you know this right? There'll be something that would be like what what's wrong and they'll explain it you'd be like Why is that a problem And you're just like that's not going to be a problem that isn't a problem Why is this a big deal right and the thing is is that obviously in those situations You don't need you don't want to be like listen You know what you need to do stop being emotional and just like do it that way the idea there is that you're kind of just there for the stability right just to kind of hold on to during those low times all those different things and What you don't want to be is someone that's like this a man that's like this right You don't want to be because what if both of you are down here, right? And this really really get into an unstable man. Okay knows what says here in James 1 verse 6 says Let him ask in faith. Nothing wavering for he that wave earth is like a wave of the sea Driven with the wind and tossed for let not that man Thank you that he that he shall receive anything of the Lord a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways Stability mentally men We need to be that mental stability and I'm being a little facetious when it comes to like the highs and lows of women Okay, I'm not saying they're all like just bipolar like creatures that are just crazy. Okay. I'm just saying that generally speaking there is emotions that go up and down dealing with hormones and that's just the natural state of women, okay Where men don't have to deal with those? Praise the Lord, you know, we don't have children we're not we can't have children and we don't have those type of things that are going on when it comes to that and so Women want us to be stable all of that Reuben for example, it said about Reuben the firstborn of Israel is that he's unstable as water thou shalt not excel When it states that him being unstable it has to do with him committing Committing adultery with his father's concubine, okay so When you're dealing with stability this can also get into faithfulness Faithful to your spouse knowing that you're faithful, right? Not thinking that oh, you know, you know, what's he doing when he's at work? What's he doing over here? It's just like no, I know what he's doing and you don't have to be like big brother. That's like Checking in on him all the time or anything like that. It's just like I know what he's doing I know like he's not doing anything nefarious. It's just like this this mental state of like I know that there's nothing going on Because that will obviously Hurt a marriage and what I'm saying with this is that okay men, here's how you please your wives You're mentally stable Meaning you're not just wavering from one thing to another you're not just going from one thing to another you got this path that you're going on you're stable and You know That that type of stability and security is what is gonna please your wife Because just to be honest if your wife if you guys have kids Stability is not at home when you're not there meaning with the kids By and large it's what I like to call it is controlled chaos Okay, and listen, I want to say this to men When it comes to marriage Don't have these unreal unrealistic expectations Okay Like going in the marriage thinking like your wife is gonna be like the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 Like that just everything is going right. Nothing's going wrong. You know, the house is spic and span There's there's a hot meal every single night. Like everything's going right do not have that type of expectation Meaning this when it comes to the kids in the house, you know the house being clean and all that stuff Listen, I don't expect my house to be some like museum right now When I come home Like it we're in survival mode. I have five kids eight and under It is what it is right, you know what my house could be a museum when my kids are older They could be spic and span look nice. And you know, I could show all my friends. Look at my cool house Now now it's a playroom essentially like it's it's just it is what it is and And this unreally Unrealistic Unrealistic expectations that you put on your wife is only gonna make those emotions and like those blows worse. Okay meaning that for example, I Expect my children to be alive when I get home You know, I expect certain things to be done, you know, obviously home we homeschool our children So I want there, you know Like obviously that's something that I want to see this that's progressing and that that's not getting fallen by the wayside, right? But I'll say this and you could yeah, you could say well You know, you're out to lunch or whatever on this if I come home and dinner is Convoluted or dinners not like this. Well three-course meal. I don't give a rip. I don't care I You know what I do I go into the pantry I get my favorite cereal I Sit down and enjoy it And I'm as happy as a clam, I don't know why clams are happy But I'm really happy like just doing that Because you know one thing is that my laundry is always done The house isn't filled with filth and like garbage and all this other stuff. It's like yeah, there's a Lego on the floor So be it who cares, right? don't have these unrealistic expectations in your marriage and What I'm saying with this is that you want to please your wife is don't hold her to those unrealistic expectations Because if you have those unrealistic expectations, then it's gonna be this burden that's on them and I preached all sermon about like residual stress and how I put maybe unreal that unrealistic expectations on myself and I have to constantly be like, okay. I don't need to do that right now I don't need to do this and I'm stressing myself out But sometimes we need to know like there's certain times in life where hey this stuff doesn't matter as much You don't need to iron my clothes Right, you don't need to do this. You don't need to do this. These are the important things. They're fed They're alive. They're clean. The schooling is getting done. The house hasn't burned down And that's it You know Anything you know what if there's a meal when I get home and there's like this hot meal there and don't even be wrong Most of the time the foods on the table, right? It's ready to go. Whatever, right? But if there's a meal waiting for me when I get home, I look at it as a bonus like all cool nice You know, that's good or you know Like Holly will be like doing things with like sourdough or or she made like she made some like other type of things She's never made before or something like that. I'm like, it's a bonus I'm not like of course, of course that's there should be there Like why wasn't there that there yesterday, you know like No Have realistic expectations when it comes to that Like I said when it comes to you know, pleasing your husband Respect Reverence, you know, it talks about referencing your husband and then it talks about dubinevalence. Now dubinevalence works on both sides Okay, and what I'm talking about is coming together obviously what married people do Really ladies, that's it That's pretty much it Right, that's there Obviously, there's other things that we'd want like and stuff like that at home and in marriage and stuff like that but honestly if that's taken care of I'm gonna go, you know Well, but what's the what's the challenge in life? Let's do it, you know, and so Because that goes to a long way when you think about respect is like, how does your wife talk to you out in public? Does she argue with you out in public that she like disrespects you out in public You know that type of thing that she disrespect you at home in front of your children That's huge and Ladies, you need to understand that that's huge That type of like just that respect that's there. That's huge to men. That's huge at the workplace How people respect you how people talk to you? You know, how do they talk to you with respect or do they talk to you as you know? Like a punk or something like that. Okay, you want your right wife to respect you. You don't necessarily have to call them Lord Or sir, but if you treat him that way it goes a long way now There's two stories in the Bible and I don't know if I'll get to them really here but About Pleasing your wife in in big decisions that are made go to Genesis chapter 31 I was actually just reading through the story the other day. I love this fit fit well, I Believe That you should have your wife in on the conversation on any big decisions that you make in life Whether it's purchasing something whether it's moving somewhere whatever it is if it's a big decision You need to be talking to your wife This idea of not Not involving your wife in big decisions like that is ridiculous You're just asking for there to be rough roads in your marriage And what it really comes down to is I think that there's this weird mentality that there's only one right way There's only one place. There's only one place that's right to live. That's it. Nothing else There's only one woman to marry that's it there's nothing else there's only one man to marry that's it there's nothing else there's this weird mentality of like this kind of I Don't know. I don't know if it's like this kind of Calvinistic like Predestination type of mentality of like the Lord wants me here and if I'm not in that one place, I'm not right with God That's that's hogwash That's ridiculous. You know the Bible teaches throughout throughout the scriptures. Is that Marry who you whom you will only in the Lord right marry whoever you want But obviously you want them to be saved you want them to be a Christian, you know You want them to you know, you want a believer you don't be unequally yoked, right? The same thing goes with do you think that listen? I can't pastor a church in Pittsburgh and be and still be thriving the Lord want me to be there you don't think I can go pastor a church in like, Florida or You know, North Carolina or of course I'm saying East Coast because nuts to the West Coast There's enough good preachers out there, okay No, not really. There's obviously needs more preachers everywhere. But the idea here is that it's not like It's not like God told me Jason go to Fairmont Anywhere else and you're not right with God Same thing goes with where you live what house you buy what car you buy like what? What profession you go into? You know and people have this weird mentality that it must be that one thing or you're not right with God That's ridiculous. And the thing goes into the matter is that you know what I believe that I well I'll say this I want my wife to be on board with big decisions like that Now ultimately I had the final say right If there's like these are the options and I'm like these all are bad. This is the only one that's good and My wife's like no, I think this one I'd like this one over here It's like well, I I believe this is gonna be the only route that's gonna be viable here, you know And all of that then obviously I'm not saying that you have to take your wife's position But I'll say this not Counseling with your wife I believe is foolish Genesis chapter 31 verse 1 good Genesis chapter 31 verse 1. This is a story where Jacob is leaving Laban Okay, Laban is his uncle And he marries, you know, so Laban is Rebecca's brother And he goes out there and marries Rachel and Leah from Laban and basically he's been living there for 20 years, you know 14 years He served for both Lee and Rachel and then in another six years where he was keeping his Cattle and all that But he's he's gonna leave and notice what it says here Verse one is isn't that and he heard the words of Laban son saying Jacob had taken away all that was our fathers and of that which our fathers had He got he had he he got in all his this glory and Jacob beheld the countenance of Laban and behold It was not toward him as before and the Lord said unto Jacob Return unto the land of thy fathers into thy kindred and I will be with thee So basically the Lord literally speaks to Jacob and says hey return to your land. I'll be with you. Okay, and Jacob sent and called Rachel and Leah to the field unto his flock and said unto them I see your father's countenance that it is not toward me as before But the God of my father had been been with me and you know that with all my power I have served your father and your father had deceived me and changed my wages ten times But God suffered me not to hurt me not to hurt me him not to hurt me If he said thus the speckled shall be thy wages then all the cattle bear speckled And if he said thus the ring straight shall be thy higher then bear all the cattle ring straight Thus God had taken away the cattle of your father and given them to me and it came to pass at the time That the cattle conceived that I lifted up mine eyes and saw in a dream and behold the Rams which leaped upon the cattle were ring straight speckled and drizzled and the angel of the Lord spake unto me in a dream saying Jacob and I said Here am I and he said lift up now thine eyes and see all the Rams which sleeped upon the cattle are ring straight Speckled and grizzled for I have seen all that laven doeth unto thee. I am the god of Bethel Where thou anointest the pillar and where thou vallest avow unto me now arise Get thee out of this land and return unto the land of thy kindred. Now, let me ask you a question Why did Jacob even give that whole speech to his wives? Now I'm not here condoning him having multiple wives, okay, that's a whole nother term for another day Why did he even talk to them about that? Why didn't you say hey pick up your sticks? Let's go Right pick up all your stuff. We're leaving No, he talked to them about it because this is a big deal they're leaving their home country away from their father away from everything they've known and And he's discussing hey, I'm in the right here God has blessed me and obviously I've been distressed by you know, your father's obviously changed my wages ten times all this stuff, right? Notice what they say and Rachel and Leah answered and said unto him Is there yet any portion here or inheritance for us in our father's house? Are we not counted of him strangers where he had sold us and have quite devoured also our money For all the riches which God had taken from our father that is ours and our children and our children's now Then what's over God had said unto thee do then Jacob rose up and said his sons and his wives upon camels That's how you deal with a big move situation. Now the question would come is like what if they said no, we don't want to leave Okay Obviously Jacob should be a leader and he's gonna listen to God over his wives, right? But do you see the big difference if they moved and he just like nuts to what you have to say Not telling them at all. Like hey, we're moving. This is why all this stuff Would you say that Jacob's a bad example of like a character in the Bible I would say I mean he's the patriarch He's Israel, right? So obviously I don't condone everything he's ever done but I Believe that that was the right way to deal with that situation where you are basically Communicating with them on that and in some cases your wife might actually have better advice or better options That's possible by the way Do you know that my wife has had good advice that I've actually changed what I was gonna do and did what she thought was better All you're not a man your hand packed Henpecked Henpecked would be me just basically saying that's not a good idea, but I'm gonna do it any way to please you Okay But I believe it's foolish to do what you say you're going to do Even though you know what she says is better That is prideful and foolish. What are you even doing? And you know what that sends a signal to your wife that her opinion doesn't matter to you Her advice doesn't matter to you and that you'll do what you want to do Whether it's the best choice or not That sends a loud and clear signal to your spouse on your mentality on how to deal with situations. I mean why Emma sit down sit down and look forward Why would I not take my wife's advice when it's better than what I was thinking Say well, you know their advice can't be better. We're men Like listen I am all about being the leader I'm all about having the final say But you know what in the multitude of counselors there is safety And who do you think has your best interest in account more than your spouse Let me think about it. If I went to my my good friends here, and you know I said hey This is my situation who do you think is going to have my best interest them or my wife? Clearly my wife right without a shadow of a doubt. I mean we're one flesh. We have children. We've lived together So why not take their advice now? I'm not going to read this whole story But you can look at first first name of type 25 will be done the story of Abigail David a man after God's own heart was about to go destroy navel and everybody that worked for him all the men Okay Because basically he asked for food and stuff like that and navel basically just brushed him off even though David and his men were protecting their his flock and protecting all his men and David is about to go just destroy everybody okay, and destroy all the men anyway But Abigail came up and basically stopped him basically said hey, you know don't do this Gave him all kinds of food all this stuff and says don't basically avenge yourself And I want you to see what David says here in verse 33 Or verse 32 and David said to Abigail blessed be the Lord God of Israel Which sent thee this day to meet to meet me and blessed be thy advice There's David a man after God's own heart who's about to be king of Israel saying That blessed be the advice of that woman right there Why because it says and blessed be thou which has kept me this day from coming to shed blood and from avenging myself with mine own hand Abigail I mean and by the way David is like the greatest example of loving his enemy right where he wouldn't kill Saul and Almost to a fault where he's loving his enemy, right? But Abigail gave this advice and basically said to him, you know, don't do this because when you're king This is going to be a snare unto you. This is gonna you're gonna regret this later on and You know what David did he changed his mind. He didn't say nothing to you woman. I made up my mind The idea here is that you want to please your spouse give them safety security stability and Treat them as an equal listen. We are the leaders men. We are the box stuff the buck stops at us But my wife is my equal, okay, she's my equal in value we are equal in one flesh and Yes, I have authority over her But let me ask you a question. The father is greater than the son as far as authority But Jesus says I my father are one And obviously it's not gonna be a perfect example, you know as far as marriage is concerned there but the idea there is that don't treat your wife as a child treat her with honor and respect and Value her judgment and her advice. You don't have to always take it That doesn't have to be always what you go with But if you go with your own way, even though you know hers is better that's foolishness That's foolishness that that is what gives what we believe about marriage a bad name That's where it gets into this idea of this like Dictatorship I'm doing it. No matter and that's the way you have to say and you're just some peon That's that that's like on par with like the authority of my children No That I believe Will cause your spouse to be pleased and to love you and all of that you respect her and give her honor Don't be surprised if she ends up submitting unto you more Don't be surprised if she ends up maybe calling you serve, you know If you give her that kind of honor you give her that kind of, you know Credence to what she has to say and you're not just just going your own way with whatever you're doing And by the way, you know When you make those big decisions without her don't be surprised if it's not fun living with her Okay, you're like well she should she should love me she'd do that you know what wives should do a lot of things doesn't mean they will You know my wife, you know, my wife shouldn't leave me, you know divorce is off the table doesn't mean she won't The idea there is that obviously the law and the Bible says they should they should submit no matter what they should they should Love you no matter what they should stay with you and not leave you no matter what but what if they don't? Because guess what they could So you have to be thinking about that when it comes to Especially our realm when I say independent fundamental Baptist realm Is that we a lot of times get a reputation of being like this this dictator where it's like nuts to what the women say Okay, nuts to what our wives say And you know, I believe that this is a sermon that we all need to work on like I said I'm not perfect in this You know, I'm hard-headed. I don't know if you know this It's hard to change my mind But my wife has done it You know, she's actually laid out like this is why this is better and I'm like You're right It hasn't happened often I'm just kidding But I I believe that this is something that we all need it in a marriage You know, we need to be thinking about this especially men When it comes to how we treat our wives how we how we view them as equals in our marriage But not not taking it to the extent what people are saying. We're all know the wife calls the shots It's 50-50 and we vote on it. We don't vote on it. Okay, that wouldn't make any sense anyway, right? Two people voting on something that they oppose on you'll be there all day So let's end with a word of prayer. Heavenly Father we thank you for today. Thank you for your word and Lord I pray that you'd help us as men especially in our marriages to To dwell with them according to knowledge To give honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel and Lord knowing that we're heirs together in the grace of life and Lord help us to To to be the husbands We need to be to be the fathers we need to be and wives as well that they'd be the wives They should be the mothers they should be and we're just thank you for the examples in the Bible of this and Lord Just pray to help us in our marriages in this church. Well, we love you in parallel. So Jesus Christ name Amen, but they will come sing one more song and that will be dismissed All right, take your song books and turn to song 212 Song 212 in your song books. We'll sing Oh Happy Day if you would stand we'll sing song 212 Oh Happy day that fixed my choice on the my say you're at my God Well, may this glowing Heart rejoice and tell its raptures all abroad Happy day Happy day when Jesus washed my sins away He taught me how to watch and pray and live rejoicing every day Happy day Happy day when Jesus washed my sins away Oh happy bond that seals my vows to him who merits All my love that cheerful anthems fill this house while to that sacred Shrine I move Happy day Happy day when Jesus washed my sins away He taught me how To watch and pray and live rejoicing every day