(Disclaimer: This transcript is auto-generated and may contain mistakes.)

amen so keep your place in Proverbs 31 today is going to be a really easy Bible navigation day because we're going to keep we're pretty much going to be we're pretty much getting I'm kind of losing my voice now to or we could be in trouble here in about two hours anyway we're pretty much going to be in Proverbs the entire the entire sermon so just keep your place in Proverbs now we're reading about starting in Proverbs verse number verse number 10 we're reading about this woman okay now if I was a woman I was telling my wife this over the last week if I was a woman I would just I would just love Proverbs 31 because it's all right there right the whole thing for women is right there and with guys you know there's lots of things in the Bible about you know the guys and everything but we you know this one chapter pretty much encompasses you know everything for the women so I want to step through Proverbs 31 today and I want to talk about you know this virtuous woman you know women are not in charge of their family but I will hopefully I can get across to you today that this woman here demonstrates how women can be an incredible blessing to their family okay now the goal of this sermon is to demonstrate the value of the virtuous woman and if you look down at verse number 10 you know the Bible says who could find a virtuous woman her price is far above rubies there's an incredible amount of value that the Bible puts on this virtuous woman today you'll be taught you know by feminists that the stay-at-home mom that the Christian mom is not something that's to be valued it's something that is to be looked down on it's something that's to be you know made fun of if you remember the LA Times article that they wrote after the red-hot preaching conference this year there was a couple sentences in there that really bothered me when they talked about the women of the church and you know the women are all you know they're pregnant they're all pregnant and they're just walking around with their children following behind them like they're you know like they're a mother goose with all these ducklings and and you could tell that it was a very degrading tone she was taking towards the women in the church and that that bothered me because I know you know the value of a woman to a family and Proverbs 31 demonstrates that to us now let's look at so let's look at this woman first I want to turn to Titus chapter 2 and get get a context of of this woman you know I thought with that reporter I'm such you know maybe I'm an optimist but I thought when that reporter was at Verity I was thinking you know she's gonna see these families and she's gonna see these I figured she was some liberal feminist but I figured you know what how could you come into a situation and see children and the families like they were with their mothers and their fathers and come out thinking that that was a bad thing but it just shows you how twisted and warped this world views things when you don't look at things through the lens of God's Word okay so turn to Titus chapter 2 and I first I want to give you a context of the virtuous woman and the context in Titus chapter 2 is this that women if you look down at verse number 5 the Bible says here it says women are to be discreet chaste keepers at home good remember that word good because that's brought up in Proverbs good obedient to their own husbands that the Word of God be not blasphemed now that's a pretty strong statement there that women are to be these things or the Word of God is blasphemed so to be discreet what does it mean to be discreet the definition of the word discreet is this careful and circumspect in one speech or actions especially in order to avoid causing offense or to gain an advantage so to be discreet is the opposite of being loud and obnoxious and my wife and I actually just talked about this last night we were driving through a parking lot and there was a family that was walking across the road and it was grandparents and parents and then there was this little girl who you could tell was just putting on this show in the street and stopping cars and everyone was supposed to look at her and see how cute she was and if you notice there's several little girls are almost encouraged to be loud and obnoxious and bossy today it's it's pointed out to be cute and you know that something that's encouraged of small little girls today and it's sad because that's the opposite of what the Bible teaches that a woman should be you should not be loud and obnoxious you should be discreet careful and circumspect in one speech and we will see that with the virtuous woman here okay now chase that just means to be pure okay now let's go back to Proverbs there's a couple things that I want to point out in verse number 10 first of all no one can seem to find this woman who can find a virtuous woman is saying it's hard to find she's rare and then it says you know this shows that God understands economics to it says her price is far above rubies it doesn't say you can buy her with rubies it says her price is above rubies so something that is extremely rare is going to be extremely valuable okay and that is this woman right here now tonight I was gonna do this next Sunday but since Garrett can't speak we're gonna talk about somebody who has found this and has found this woman because there's two people talked about in this this chapter so we're gonna talk about the virtuous woman what we're talking about right now and then tonight we're gonna talk about the virtuous woman's husband who you see is also here but we won't I won't give that away for you but someone has found her okay and we'll talk about him tonight so if the ladies are like you know you're beating up on me don't beat up on me this morning you know what the round is chambered for tonight and it's an anti-aircraft round like this tall okay so don't worry this is for the ladies now that the virtuous woman you think I'm not in charge of my home you know I'm not the boss I'm not the leader but when you start to look at the attributes of the virtuous woman you will see that she is extremely valuable but let me just say one thing if you do not implement things that we talked about this morning and the same goes for the sermon tonight nothing will change and if you say you want to be I want to be a virtuous woman and I want to work towards this listen to these attributes compare them to yourself and decide hey I could be different in this area I could change in this area so the first thing that we see is that she's extremely rare okay which makes her valuable the second thing we see if we go down to verse number 11 is that this woman is trustworthy she's very trustworthy read verse number look down at verse number 11 the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil spoil means extra he will know you have no need for extra and then in verse number 12 it says she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life remember in Titus chapter 2 and verse 5 it says that he uses that same word good so he knows this man here we see her husband and he completely trusts her he completely trusts this woman because he knows that she will do him good all the days of her life he knows that she always has his back no matter what now there's two types of wives out there and I've met many of the other type of wife usually out in the workforce by the way which is where women shouldn't be anyway but there's this woman out there that is always trashing her husband that is the opposite of the virtuous woman you know this is the type of woman that you'll see on TV shows on comedies you know the woman that's always just belittling her idiot husband and the husband's always an idiot by the way on those shows he's portrayed as some foolish idiot and his wife who's the strong smart one is just constantly berating him and belittling him so it's no shock that this is what society is producing today okay but on the other hand you have this woman how many of you have ever met this woman who's just constantly just talking about her husband just like oh my husband this and my husband this and just constantly praising her husband to the point where it's just it's annoying but you know what I think when I meet that woman I'm like you know what good for that guy because maybe she shouldn't be out bragging up her husband and boasting about her husband but that is a woman who has her husband's back and she's constantly talking about him and I'm not saying this is what the virtuous woman does but I'm just saying that this is a woman who has her husband's back that she is doing him good okay and then you'll always you'll see this she has character look at the last verse the last part of verse number 12 is that she will do him good all the days of her life look she has character she has staying power she will be with him all the days of her life look I'm glad personally that this was listed first because I cannot tell you the value of knowing that I can trust my wife the value of knowing that when I go off to work and that when I go off into this world to do what I have to do as a man which we'll talk about tonight that things I just can fully just trust her it is such a relief to me and and single men this is what you need to look for because it allows you to better do your job to better go out and handle the stupid things that you need to handle and deal with the wickedness of this world in the best way that you can as a Christian man to just not just to know that I can just trust my wife and that all those things are taken care of this is the virtuous woman folks the house the education the family the children it's all just taken care of he just trusts her he just trusts her he leads her but he trusts her okay now she's not the leader however when this you know I bet you that when this woman has something to say I bet you that this husband in Proverbs 31 listens you know I bet you he does because he trusts her from his heart it says the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her so if there's someone that you you trust from your heart when they say something you're going to listen to them okay the next attribute I want to talk about is that this woman and you can't miss this as you read Proverbs 31 this woman works hard and I mean she works physically hard I mean look down at verse number 17 verse number 17 the Bible says she girdeth her loins with strength and strengthen her arms in verse number 25 we see more of her strength strength and honor are her clothing and she shall rejoice in time to come she looketh well to the ways of her household and eateth not the bread of idleness you know I will get home some days and my wife is physically tired because running a home managing a home especially with children in it is hard physical work and this woman works hard you say she's busy she's busy working hard doing what you know here's another thing that I'll see out out in the world with women that work and do not stay home I've heard this dozens of times throughout my working career and this is people find out my wife stays home and she doesn't work and they will say oh I could just never do that I don't know what I would do all day and it's because that woman that said that to me she doesn't know what she doesn't know she doesn't know what it takes you know to run a house to manage a house because her house is not being managed now the wife the husband is to financially provide for the family but another thing I want to point out about this woman and how she's working so hard is that the wife and this virtuous woman has a direct effect on the financial well-being of the family okay and I'm going to show you that in the next in the next few verses but basically if you think of your family in your economic situation in your family as a bucket the husband is has a has a pipe that's filling this bucket with income and then both the husband and the wife are have expenses that they're spending out of the bucket and certain things that this woman is doing are cutting down on the outflow of that bucket this woman and it's very true in my family the virtuous woman has an extreme influence and positive effect on the finances in your home and we'll see it with this woman here because there's two ways to increase your your family's buying power when you think about it you can increase the the flow of money in which is basically the husband going out and getting more skilled and working harder getting a second job but if you've got this woman that's just spending all the money faster than he could make it that's not gonna work out well I've seen that happen too I've seen women completely financially destroy their family I've seen men do it I've seen women do it this woman is being extremely careful with the finances of her family and she's doing what she can to help make that decrease that outflow the first thing that she's doing if you look down at number verse number 15 the Bible says she rises also riseth also while it is night there's more of that hard work she's getting up before it's it's light out I mean how many women can say that I'm up when it's dark every day that is this woman right here and giveth meat to her household and a portion to her maidens verse 16 she consider at the field and buyeth it with the fruit of her hands she planted the vineyard she's providing food for her family this has a direct effect on money a huge effect actually now if you have financial problems in your family let me just give you a little tip right now one of the biggest things that you can do if you have financial problems in your family and you ever go out to eat just stop going out to eat that is the best way that you can because there's no bigger waste of money than going out to a restaurant we found this out over the last how many weeks was it six weeks seven weeks eight weeks we're living out of a camper living out of a hotel in this move and we're just going out III was sick of restaurants but you know what was really bad is when we looked at the bill for the month of restaurants and we figured it out that once we got and we kind of knew this but we kind of went back into our house and we did the math on it and basically you're spending about six to seven times the amount of money that you could that you would spend if you just purchased food and had a wife that could prepare food and make food for the family that's how much money you're wasting you know six or seven times you know you just think about the money that that that are good you know housekeeper your house you know a good virtuous woman can by preparing food for her family like the virtuous woman does here you know cooking sadly is becoming a lost art you know in society today but you know the the more the the more skilled you can get at cooking the more money you can save your family so learn if you don't know how you know it'll pay dividends for your family I did a quick math exercise just take a day like this when a lot of us spend most of the day at church and just imagine if you prepared food for your family like and brought a lunch in and put it in the refrigerator for a family of four to go out to some fast-food restaurant which is completely unhealthy anyway it would basically cost you like 30 to 40 bucks you're talking about a hundred and twenty dollars a month you're looking at like fourteen hundred dollars a year it's a lot of money whereas if you prepared that money or you prepared that food brought it in you would save your family about eleven twelve hundred dollars every single year now think about this how long does your husband have to work to make $1,200 you know think about that you're spending your husband's labor you're spending your husband's labor how long does he have to work to make that if you make $20 an hour that's like 60 hours it's like a week and a half of work just so you can eat at McDonald's it seems silly right the second thing she can do to financially help the family when she's working she's working hard to financially help the family is this she's clothing the family she's clothing the family look at verse number 19 I have never bought a piece of clothing for anyone in my family ever and I would never even attempt to try such a thing I'd sooner build a space shuttle in my backyard then try to buy someone a piece of clothing in my family but look at what she does verse number 19 she layeth her hands to the spindle and her hands hold the distaff and then in verse number 21 she is not afraid of the snow for her household for all her household are clothed with scarlet so there's no snow here but she's basically when it gets cold outside this woman doesn't worry about it it reminds me of the story of the Donner party how many of you heard that story of the Donner party through the i-80 pass basically in that I don't remember the year but there was a certain woman in that family there was this huge party of people I don't know it was 30 40 50 people and they wanted to take a shortcut across the Sierras to come to settle California and they took an unproven shortcut and they left in like November oops and they came through the mountain pass and it was the worst winter in however many years there was like 20 feet of snow up there they couldn't get they couldn't get through so basically what happened was these people got stuck there they lost all their cattle they didn't have any food and then you know the the story is like they had to eat some of the dead bodies and all this kind of stuff but there was one you many of them died many of the families died but there was one family that the husband wasn't even there because he got kicked out of the the party before they tried to go over the pass the husband wasn't even there but this woman mrs. Reed she's that it was the only family by the time the guy got down to Sacramento and he actually went off to fight the Mexicans for a month or so then he came back up the mountains to get his family his family was the only one that didn't lose anybody and they never had to eat dead bodies or anything like that it was because of this woman the mother was smart and she she rationed the food properly for the kids and she just managed this she kept the entire family alive and as the story goes if you visit the museum up on the i-80 pass she actually had enough food for the family to have a Christmas Eve meal for the kids where she made some apples and things like that the mother saved everybody it's like oh you know I'm not the leader of my family what difference can I make the mother is the machine that runs everything that woman her husband wasn't even there she kept that whole family alive because how smart she was at taking care of her family keeping them with clothes when it was cold and keeping them with food when it was cold that woman saved them verse number 22 she make herself coverings of tapestry her clothing is silk and purple you know my wife I'll often say to my wife like well that's a great dress Ashley has or something like that and my wife she like prides herself in like oh yeah I got it for a dollar I joke around that we could be billionaires and my wife would still shop at thrift stores we'll never be billionaires and I don't ever want to be one so don't spread that rumor but you know what I'm saying you can get good deals on money if you can buy a certain set of clothing for a tenth of the price that other people buy it you're helping your family enormously you know there's deal people throw stuff away at these these thrift stores and all this stuff I don't even know how it works but she's like oh yeah I got it for 50 cents my you'd never know you know so you have a direct the this woman has a direct effect on her family's finances it's a huge effect folks you could you'd be shocked how much money you could waste you could waste all your money it doesn't even matter how much money you make you could spend it all and just waste it all and in the older guys in the room are shaking their head they're nodding because they know it doesn't matter how much money you make it's it's how you manage that that spending is the biggest variable organizing the home you know a moving example you know this is back to trusting in the virtuous woman we moved and I had to go back to work almost the same day that we moved into our house and I just came home three days later and everything was just put away it was just perfectly organized like it was just magic but I trust in her and she works hard that's what the virtuous woman does my wife calls me this week and she's all excited and she's like you know what and she didn't want me to talk about her today but I have to use her as an example in a couple areas but she calls me this week and she's all excited she's like I figured out a way I can clean this church in two and a half hours all by myself and I'm like she's all excited that she can do it in two and a half hours and I'm like that seems like a long time and wow you know that's a lot of work and all this but that's what the virtuous woman does folks and this sermon you know kind of helped me look back on you know some of the things that my wife doesn't it helped me appreciate her it helped me become more like the man in Proverbs 31 just studying for this sermon sermon the biggest thing where went the virtuous woman has an impact in the family is this her hard work it not only financially affects the family and financially benefits the family but she is the majority owner in the business of educating the children your wife will carry the vast majority of that load you should help when you can but you're gonna be at work your wife will carry the vast majority of that load in verse number 28 look at verse number 28 we see some evidence of this her children arises up and call her blessed her husband also and he praises her now look educating the children is hard work it is very hard work I don't even know all the exact details of it but I know this you can do a bad job at this okay you can you can do a bad job at educating your children at home and don't get me wrong a bad job is better than the public school system but do you want to do a bad job at educating your children I mean who wants to have uneducated children but we have seen this my wife and I have both seen teenage kids who were homeschooled who can barely read who can't spell and you know math forget about it no chance we've seen it and it's because they had a lazy homeschooling mother so you just have to remember you have to be a hard worker because it will directly affect how you educate your children okay total freedom folks you have total freedom in this homeschooling thing it's legal here it is more here's a shocker it is more legal in California there is less restrictions in California and homeschooling than there was in North Dakota it's it's wide open but you know what total freedom means total freedom means total responsibility it means when that education is done at least from your end when it's done and they're out of high school and they're moving on to whatever else you know it means that what you've produced that's on you that's what you've done those curriculums and how hard you push those things that's on you it's incredibly hard work so here's you know here's the goal on homeschooling from my perspective and this isn't a homeschooling sermon but basically the homeschooling goal for our family is to produce self starters it's to produce children that are self starters in their own education it's produced children who will continue their education by themselves throughout their life education doesn't end at high school a very wise man up at Verity Baptist in Sacramento once told me he said you should never be done taking tests in your life that's a great that's a great thing to say you should always be learning new things and that's what you should try to get into your kids by the time they get done with high school is that they want to continue learning continue educating themselves these are the people these are the kids these are the boys they're gonna run their own business one day is these self starting homeschooled kids but guess what if you want to raise home if you want to raise self starting children you have to be a self starter yourself you have to be a self starter look back at verse number 15 look at verse number 15 the Bible says she rises also while it is yet night so it's no fun getting up when it's dark right I would love to sleep in every day but look what it doesn't say her husband makes her get up while it is yet night no she just does it this woman has an agenda she has an agenda and she knows she's got a list this long of things to do and she knows that if I'm gonna get these things done today I gotta get up at 5 in the morning I gotta get up at 6 in the morning because she's not doing it for fun she's doing it because she's got things to do she's self starting you know the women will spend a vast amount of the time with the children you know I I've said many times all I do is make the money my wife's job is way more important than my job and I believe that wholeheartedly with my whole mind body and soul I believe that I go and I make money and I provide for my family I help with what she's doing I'm a support to her it's my job to make sure she's successful but she is the one that is actually turning the machine see look if you're homeschooling and you're doing it correctly and you have more than one child and you have time to spend on YouTube and you have time to spend on Facebook you are not doing it right you're not doing it right you're missing something you know think of an analogy like this you have two mechanics and they're responsible for maintaining a car and one guy can do it in five minutes he walks around and he kicks the tires and he's like it's good good to go then he got the other mechanic who looks at the car and he opens the hood and he looks at the engine and he fixes everything in the engine he changes the oil and he checks the compression on the cylinders and he goes through that car from bumper to bumper which car is gonna run the best the guy that walks around and kicks the tires he doesn't even know that he missed the entire engine so if you are getting up as a mother and you're like I don't really have to work hard because there's nothing to do here you're missing it you're missing the engine because it's your job to keep that engine going and put that engine together and maintain that engine that's that's you know educating your family running your home managing your home is a huge maintenance task next look at Proverbs 31 in verse number 26 she is wise this woman is not a fool look at what the Bible says in verse number 26 she opened her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness now I really appreciate this type of person and honestly I strive to be more of this type of person because I have met certain people in my life that they hardly say anything but when they talk everybody turns and listens that's the type of person that you want to be and that's what the Bible is saying here she opens her mouth with wisdom she's not just talking just to talk she's not just spewing you know rumors and gossip and silly little things or whatever she when she opens her mouth this woman has something to say and in her tongue is the law of kindness and it's usually something good look at Proverbs chapter 9 turn back a few how does she get wise she's wise Proverbs chapter 9 in verse number 10 Proverbs chapter 9 look at verse number 10 the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge of the holy is understanding this woman knows what the Bible says this virtuous woman so if you want to be a virtuous woman learn your Bible learn your Bible she's a counselor to her husband she's a counselor to him when she opens her mouth she has wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness this has saved me from disaster so many times I can't tell you because I'm not that kind sometimes and I'll run things by my wife and I'll be like what do you think of this situation I think this is how I'm gonna handle it and she'll just be like whoa you know if you do that you know no one's ever gonna talk to you again I'm like oh close one but she's wise and women tend to have a more kind heart and this woman has a kind heart and that's a great balance for a man and that is a great value to me it'll be a great value to you you know you want to be a good counselor to your husband and if you are this type of woman and you speak your husband will listen okay now you say well my husband never listens to me we'll turn to Proverbs 12 if you become this type of person you become wise you know the Bible you have a kind heart you're in his corner you're working hard to manage your home you're doing all these things in Proverbs 31 and then you give your husband counsel and he says I'm in charge quiet woman look at Proverbs 12 verse 15 the Bible says this the way of a fool is right in his own eyes but he that hearketh unto counsel is wise it says that someone who will not listen to the wisdom of someone else is a fool especially someone who they are supposed to trust in okay so he will listen to you is the reality of it there's a there's a saying that I heard years ago it says a leader that doesn't listen will soon be surrounded by people who have nothing to say right if you walk into rooms of people and you're the kind of and I don't want to get on the guys yet but basically if you're the kind of person that's not going to listen to anybody pretty soon people are gonna stop giving you advice they're just gonna let you walk in your own ways and it's gonna be the way of a foolish person okay now another thing I want to say about Proverbs 31 in verse number 26 is this turn to Proverbs 21 Proverbs 21 in verse 19 she opened her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue is the law of kindness this is the opposite of another type of woman that we see in Proverbs which is called the contentious woman okay when she opens her mouth it's with wisdom and in her tongue is kindness and in Proverbs 21 verse 19 the Bible says it is better to dwell in the wilderness then with a contentious and angry woman let me tell you what that's true I've seen that happen too I've seen men that can't wait to get away from their wife they literally go out in the wilderness I've been hunting with guys like this but I don't want to go back home I'm like why you know the old ball and chains back there I mean I've seen it personally like they literally go off in the wilderness these these women that are constantly nagging and trying to control their husband look it's not it's not gonna work it's not gonna work don't don't do it it doesn't work he's gonna go to the wilderness he's gonna go in the corner of the attic he's gonna go in the garage he's gonna go somewhere and not come back you know or not want to come back you know this is the woman that's constantly trying to control things so you say but but he's not doing the right thing right he's not doing the right thing and he's in charge and if I was in charge we would do the right thing because I'm smart and he's an idiot well here's how you handle the hierarchy in your life because look I work for people I have a boss I have a boss I've had a boss always here's how you handle the hierarchy if you have an idea or a suggestion you bring it up one time hey boss I think we should do it this way and here's why enter wisdom here and he says no we're doing it my way that's pretty much it I bring it up I might bring it up one more time if the opportunity is very in a kind way but after that that's it but I work for people they don't always take my my probably half the time when you suggest something they take your advice other than that you just that's just the way it is there's a hierarchy in everybody's life so you bring it up in a kind way and then you let it go if people don't do it the answer was no maybe they know something you don't know which is made the case probably many times they know some information that you don't know but after that just drop it that's it we all have bosses we all have people making decisions above our heads it's no different here okay turn to Ruth chapter three we're gonna get out of Proverbs just for a minute but that's how you handle the hierarchy that's a valuable lesson for the men and the women in the room here it's just there's hierarchy in your life handle it in a respectful way bring something up one time and then that's it just let it go that's it nagging and complaining and talking you know bad behind the boss's back or bad behind your husband's back it's just it's it's not gonna bring anything good okay turn to Ruth chapter three the last point I want to make about the virtuous woman today is this and we're gonna see this in Ruth chapter three but the by the Bible says you know look the last point I want to make is this everyone will know who the virtuous women are it's something that people can easily see outside you know in the world and the Bible says in Proverbs 31 verse 31 the Bible says give her the fruit of her hands and then in the last part of that verse it says this and let her own works praise her in the gates people see her works people know who this woman is you know people in the gates see this we'll talk about the gates tonight but people in the community people that she's around people outside her family they know that she's a virtuous woman look at Ruth chapter 3 here's an interesting thing about Ruth in the Bible there is only one person in the Bible who is specifically called out as a virtuous woman and it is Ruth where the Bible says that she is a virtuous woman I'm not saying there wasn't any virtuous women in the Bible but the Bible only specifically calls out one person as a virtuous woman and if we see in Ruth chapter 3 look down at verse number 9 this is where Ruth goes to Boaz and she's asking him to marry her basically is what she's doing and he said who art thou and she answered I am Ruth thine handmaid spread therefore thy skirt over thine handmaid which basically means take me in marriage you know say that you will you will marry me for thou art a near kinsman he was the near one of the nearest kinsmen to her after her husband had died the next nearest kinsman has an obligation to marry her and she says you are a near kinsman he wasn't the nearest kinsman that you see that work out in the story but then Boaz said and he said blessed be thou of the Lord my daughter for thou has showed more kindness in the latter end than at the beginning in as much as thou followest not young men whether poor or rich and now my daughter fear not I will do to thee all that thou requirest for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman so if you know the story of Ruth she came and she was taking care of her mother-in-law she was gleaning in the field she was working very hard physically and then Boaz even brings up here he says you follow us not after the young men she was chased she was a pure woman I'm sure there was plenty of young men who were wanting to pursue Ruth but she she didn't do any of that so she was chased and she was hard-working and he said all the city knows the whole city knew about this woman and that she was a virtuous woman now that's impressive that's impressive go to Proverbs 22 let's see how this worked out for Ruth Proverbs 22 in verse number one the Bible says this a good name is rather to be chosen than great riches and loving favor rather than silver or gold so how did this work out for Ruth turn to Proverbs 12 you know she had a great reputation and that gained her favor with both men and the Lord and you know how that worked out for her she became King David's great-grandmother she became an ancestor of the Lord Jesus Christ because of this story and that she was a virtuous woman because all the city saw her works all the city sought and she was blessed greatly by both men and the Lord for being this way I mean that is something to strive for in Proverbs 12 in verse 4 the Bible says this a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband but she that maketh ashamed is rottenness in his bones a virtuous woman is like this crown that because ever get guess what if I'm walking around town and everyone knows that I have a virtuous woman that's like a crown to me I'm extremely you know proud of that and supportive of that but it says she's a crown to her husband or she can be rottenness in his bones if she's not a virtuous woman you know and he can be off in the wilderness hunting for the rest of his life you laugh I've literally seen it I've literally seen men who can't stand to be around their wife and I'm not saying they don't share responsibility in that but it's what happens look the more you achieve this standard ladies in Proverbs 31 the more your husband's heart will turn towards you you say my husband doesn't wear me as a crown you know maybe maybe there's two problems it's like the guy I mentioned maybe there's two problems maybe he has some problems and maybe you have some problems but isn't it best to fix your own problems then you'll only have one problem right fix your own problems get in your lane stay in your lane and then you'll be a great influence to your husband turn to 1st Corinthians chapter 7 1st Corinthians chapter 7 this is the last place I'll have you turn the Bible says that a woman a virtuous woman a woman like this can be such an influence on her husband that even someone who's married to someone who's unsaved can be a great influence on her husband and in 1st Corinthians chapter 7 verse number 13 the Bible says and the woman with which hath an husband that believeth not and if he be pleased to dwell with her let her not leave them why for the unbelieving the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife he will be he will be influenced it's actually the best chance that he will have to get saved is it is a his saved wife if seen that several times to mean both directions what the power of a virtuous woman should not be underestimated and I hope that I'm making this clear to you today she's the engine that drives the home and she has an enormous you know enormous power you know so first you know the idea for these these I have three sermons and the idea is this we first build the parts and then we put it together at the last sermon and we're gonna talk about marriage so I first wanted to talk I actually flipped a coin I always kind of like do we do that the the husband first or the wife first but it just came out that I felt like that this was such an important piece of the family we have to talk about this first the wife the virtuous woman has so much power for good or for bad in the family and if she's a virtuous woman she can just she can just make things great in a family she's the engine that makes it all work so tonight since Garrett can't speak what we're gonna talk about is we're gonna talk about a guy you know she's rare this is a unicorn she's rare the virtuous woman we're gonna talk about a guy who found one he found a virtuous woman we're gonna find him we're gonna find out how he did it how did he do it how did he find her so then maybe you know we have a chance of finding one okay single guys now the week after this we'll put it all together we'll just we'll have a sermon on on marriage next next Sunday morning okay so I just want to just get across to you this morning that there's this idea today that women especially the stay-at-home mom is something to look down on that is incredibly offensive to me personally because my wife and what she does in my home is so important in building the character and the education of my children and I am in charge of that home but she is such a a blessing and help to me you think that I could have done what we did when we moved here and got this church started without my wife no way the details of the things that my wife and under her leadership the children have done to even get this church started I couldn't even begin to explain to you I didn't do those details you know she is the engine that made a lot of this happen and just because I'm the one directing it you know we need to make sure that we understand this this engine in this motor that runs these families and the closer ladies you can get to these standards in this chapter this is such a wonderful chapter for a woman to read the closer you can get here the bigger the blessing you will be to your families okay let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer Heavenly Father we thank you for today we thank you for this message we thank you for Proverbs 31 and you know in the entire book of Proverbs Lord just such great wisdom Lord we just ask that you bless the women and bless the mothers in this room just help them strive to these standards you know will any of us ever meet all these standards in your Bible Lord no we won't but just help us to to fix things in our life Lord and actually take action to become better every day for our families Lord we love you and bless the rest of the day in Jesus name we pray amen