(Disclaimer: This transcript is auto-generated and may contain mistakes.)

All right, so we're finishing up our Seasons of Life series this morning. We're talking about the main topic this morning is raising older children. So you know, I think there's too much to say, first of all. I have a lot to say. There's too much to say. And you know, I just think about this question, how many of you really want to succeed in raising your children? And what does success to you look like? You know, you have to define success. If you want to have a goal, you have to define it so you can shoot for it, right? And we want to have saved children. We want to have children of character, children that walk in the ways of the Lord, walk in the ways of the Bible. You know, when you look at the men in the Bible, great men in the Bible, you will see that it is no guarantee that because they were a great man and did great things for the Lord that they raised godly children. Some of them raised just outright wicked children. You know, you think about last week, we talked about Eli. His sons turned out to be reprobates, that God actually killed. It wasn't enough that God rejected them, God actually killed them. And that was Eli. You know, he was a great man of God. Think about David. You know, one of the greatest men in the Bible. Think about some of the children that David raised. You know, it's no guarantee. We look here in 1 Samuel chapter 8 and we see this man Samuel. Samuel was a judge. We look at Samuel, I mean just think of it. Just think of Samuel's life. You know, he rebuked prophets. He anointed a king. He anointed the first king of Israel. He hewed a king to pieces, personally, with his own hand. Samuel was a great and powerful man of God, yet he raised corrupt children with no character. I mean this should be a warning shot for us. This should be a warning shot for us. I think about these things all the time just because, you know, whatever position you're in or whatever you're doing for the Lord, it's no guarantee that, you know, your children are just going to turn out like, you know, like you're living. So what do we need to do? You know, this should humble us, these stories in the Bible, when we see, and I understand that, I believe that's one of the reasons that God gives us this detail about Samuel's sons. You know, the Bible doesn't say that Samuel's sons were reprobates, but they were corrupt men that actually got the people of the nation to revolt against the judges saying, you know, we want a king now. We want to be like the other nations. We know how that turned out. Samuel warned them and he said we still want a king. We would rather have a king, even after Samuel says all these things, he's going to take all these things from you, he's going to turn you into servants, he's going to tax you. All these things Samuel talked about, people said we still want a king. That's how bad it was. You have to also understand the state of the nation of Israel at that point, not that that's really relevant, but, you know, we're at the end of the Judges, you know, the Bible says at the end of Judges 19 there at the end of the book of Judges that, you know, every man just did what was right in his own eyes. That's how you end up with messed up stories like Judges 19. Everyone was just doing what they thought was right. But these sons were so bad that people wanted a king, okay? So you have a huge responsibility in front of you today. You know, spanking and disciplining small children, that's just the first step. That's just the first step of the foundation. So I want to talk about, we talked about the young kids, we talked about, you know, disciplining your young children. I want to talk about what builds on top of that foundation today. Okay, and the first thing I want to talk about is from, you know, from the spanking of the small child to the Word of God is the first thing that we need to understand today. It's absolutely vital that by the time spanking for your children ends, that your children are saved and gaining a firm understanding of the Word of God. Because they're going to literally go from your rod to the rod of God is what's going to happen. And they had better be ready for that. So they had better, you know, be saved. Your time with them is short. Turn to Hebrews chapter 12. They need to know that they're going from your supervision to the supervision of the Lord. Turn to Hebrews chapter 12. And this, of course, is a famous passage about, you know, the chastisement of the believer. But there's a couple points that I want to make here. And if we look at Hebrews chapter 12 and verse number 6, the Bible reads, For whom the Lord loveth, he chasteneth, and scourges every son whom he receiveth. If he endure chastening, God dealeth with you as sons. For what son is he whom the Father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, wherefore all are partakers, then ye are bastards and not sons. Referring to the fact that God will chastise people that are saved and not those that are unsaved. Furthermore, we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, this is what we talked about last week and we'll talk about today as well, and we gave them reverence. Shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits and live? For they verily for a few days, they being the fathers of our flesh, your dad, for they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure. But he for our own, he for our profit, we might be partakers of his holiness. There's two points here. The first point I want to make is that the days with your children are short. They're short. I don't know how my son got to be 18, I can't even, it happens so fast. The days with your children are short. And the second point is this. They chastened us, our dads chastened us after their own pleasure. What does that mean? It means that people raising undisciplined children are miserable, is what that means. I mean this is why people today can't imagine having more than one or two kids. If you talk to people in the world, they're just like, ugh. You know, I mean, they have, you know, I can't tell you how many people I know that have brothers and, they're single, they have brothers and sisters who have children and they go for the holidays or Thanksgiving and they come back and be like, I'm never having kids. Because it's just, they have one or two kids and it's just a nightmare. They're just the brattiest kids, there's no discipline, it's this new way of raising children and everybody's miserable, including the children, by the way, okay? So it says that for a few days, you have a few days, you don't have long, you better get this right. And your chastening of your children is for your own pleasure, it will bring peace. It yields peace. And after salvation for your children, you know, when they get saved from the time that they're 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 years old, whatever that may be, or maybe older, God's chastisement comes into effect and they need to understand that. That's why I was talking to you last week about disciplining your children when they're 2 to 5 years old to get them sitting in church and hearing the word of God. This is where that begins. Turn to Deuteronomy 11. By the time that they get older, they basically need to know what they believe and why they believe it. You see, the simple commands no longer apply. We start with the simple commands, don't touch that. You don't have to explain it when they're 2. Don't touch that or you get a spanking, period. Why? Because I said so. You don't have to, don't reason with a 2 and a 3 year old. Because I said so, but when they get older, they need to start understanding the word of God, they need to start forming these beliefs themselves, especially after they're saved. This is, by the way, how they will come to you and start asking you questions about salvation when they hear the word of God. They're going to start asking you these questions when they go out soul winning with you and hear the word of God preached to other people. We talked about that last week. Deuteronomy chapter 11, look at verse number 18. The Bible says, therefore, that lay up these words, these my words in your heart and in your soul and bind them again upon your hand that they may be as frontlets between your eyes. And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them, when thou sittest in thine house and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down and when thou risest up. Do you do this? Do you talk about the Bible at home with your children? You know, when your children get to be, you know, close to teenagers or even younger, they will be very interesting little conversationalists when you are having, when you are talking about the Bible in your home. And by the time they get above 10, you might be surprised at some of the things that they say. And some of the things that you maybe didn't know they had full grasp of that they understand. So do you talk about the Bible in your home? Do you have Bible studies at home? Is the Bible a conversation that comes up in your home? The Bible says it should be. You should be talking about it all the time. But here's the thing. You should want to talk about it. This isn't something that's forced. You should want to talk about it. You should be reading the Bible in personal time, everyone in your family that can read. And then things come up and hey, what do you guys think about this? What do you guys think about this verse? What do you guys think about this story? And just spark conversations. That's what Deuteronomy 11 is talking about. It's talking about just talking about the Word of God openly in your house and making that a culture in your home. It should be a culture in your home. So by the time that they're older they need to have God's words in their heart and their soul is the point I'm trying to make here. So you've taught them the Word of God. They've gotten started with the Word of God. But I want to tell you tonight or this morning, I'm sorry, that you know it takes more than spirituality to raise older children. It takes more than spirituality. Turn to Proverbs chapter 1. Proverbs chapter 1 and look at verse number 8. Proverbs chapter 1 and verse number 8. The Bible reads, my son, hear the instruction of thy father and forsake not the law of thy mother. For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head and chains about thy neck. Look it takes, if you are going to be a father and you're going to instruct children, it takes time is the first thing I want to say. The first thing you need to do is you need to start learning to spend time to instruct your children. You can't just give commands. That's not good leadership. Sometimes you have to get down in the weeds and you have to help your children with the commands that you've given them. I mean homework's a simple example. You give your children commands, do this assignment, they can't figure it out. Sometimes you've just got to get down in the weeds and spend some time to make sure that they succeed is the main thing. To instruct properly takes time for mom and dad. So if you're not spending time with your children, especially as they grow up, it's not going to work well. The main thing I want to talk about this morning is that your children will learn character from you. They will learn their character from you. Now here's the thing. Being saved is no guarantee of any kind of character. Because it's not of works, right? I mean it's what you believe. To be saved it's what you believe. It has nothing to do with what you do or even after you're saved how you live your life. I mean lots of people are living under the chastisement of God on a daily basis. So being saved is no guarantee of character. You can't make sure that your kids are saved and be like. I mean don't get me wrong, that's a main goal. That's a big milestone in a child's life is to actually get saved. But after that they will learn their character from you. They will learn some sort of character from you. And it's up to you really what defines what type of character that is. Turn to 1 John 2. And here's what I'm getting at this morning. Turn to 1 John 2. It takes having a walk according to the Bible yourself is what it takes to instill character in your children. 1 John 2 in verse 4 says he that sayeth I know him and keepeth not his commandments is a liar and the truth is not in him. And the Bible says that if you say I know him and I love God and then you just don't do anything that the Bible says that you're just a liar, period. If you don't have a walk. James 1 verse 26 I'll just read for you says this, if any man among you seem to be religious and bridleth not his tongue but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is in vain. If you're living something different than what you are trying to teach your children they will see right through it. At a young age before they're even 10 they will see right through it and it won't work. Successful leadership is by example, folks. It's by example. If you want people to follow you, you have to prove it. That's the bottom line. It takes time and a personal walk. You have to, you're not Jesus. People aren't just going to trust in you and just do whatever you say. First of all, Jesus did have a walk but you have to have a walk that your children can see. So how do you teach this? Now character itself is just like a whole sermon series. So I'll just give a few examples of character that needs to be instilled in children as they grow older. But you see character and teaching character is more complicated. It's a more complicated task and you're thinking about the task of don't do this. You set up these boundaries and this structure and then these boundaries inside this structure for these small children. Teaching character is a complex task that builds on top of that. So it begins with you. How do you instill it? Let me give you a couple examples. Turn to Ephesians chapter 6. But I just wanted to say as far as your walk goes, if you are not walking according to the Bible, just stop here. Just stop here because nothing I'm about to say will have any effect. It won't work. Look at Ephesians chapter 6 and look at verse number 1. Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor thy father and mother which is the first commandment with promise that it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long on earth. The first thing that you need, the first major character installation in your children needs to be respecting authority in their life. And this started last week by the way when I brought up these major items that we just whenever they popped up with small children, we just crushed them immediately. Respecting authority in their life is a huge point of character that needs to be taught. You know it starts with the temper tantrums. It starts with the eye rolling. This is what we talked about last week. You must destroy that immediately. You must come down on that hard. So then you can teach this. You can teach how to respect authority in your life. You have to respect the authority of your parents. You have to respect the authority of eventually you know when you're not in our house you have to respect the authority of God who's going to be your main authority in your life you know as you become an adult. As you leave the authority of your parents and you get married. So if moms, what I'm trying to get you to understand if according to your walk, how do you do this according to your walk? If moms, if you're walking around trashing the authority in your life, if you're trashing your husband or you're not respecting your husband or you're not talking in a respectful way to your husband and your children, hear this, that's going to get you. Because you're teaching them to not respect the authority in their life. Husbands, men, if you're going around and you're constantly coming home from work and you're just trashing your boss and you're just trashing the authority in your life, you're trashing your pastor or whoever is in authority in your life, you're teaching your kids to not respect authority. And that will get you. That will come around, you know you will sow to the wind and you will reap the whirlwind on that when you have an 18, 19, 20 year old who is not respecting your authority because now it's out of your hands. Now you're Eli and you can't do anything. There's nothing you can do. And at that point, God's going to take care of it. So respecting, look, respecting the authority in your life and teaching your kids that they need to respect the authority in their life is a huge deal. It will define their life in many ways. It will define their marriages. I mean if you talk to your husband like he's a pile of garbage, that is how your daughter will talk to her husband. It could destroy her marriage. Think about it. Maybe you have some puppy man that you're married to that will just allow it. But think about, you know, your daughters and your sons. You know if you have a son, you've raised a son who can't respect authority, he'll never be able to hold a job. How's he going to support his family? I mean these are big deals, folks. The next big chunk of character, the building block of character you need to install in your children as they get older is hard work. Hard work. I'm not going to preach a sermon on hard work, but you need to instill this in your children. Look, if you are lazy, let's talk about your walk. If you are lazy, you have no chance, none, of raising hard working kids, none. Because what you do matters more than what you say. I've said it before. Look, you work hard and then when your kids get older, they work hard with you. That's how it goes. That's how you should train them to work hard. Look, I mean, if you're lazy and you have kids now, I mean, start panicking. You know what I mean? Because you're already training them to be lazy. It's already started. The next one is this and it's kind of tied together. Turn to Proverbs 26.13. These are sermons in themselves. I'm just trying to give you some main points of character that you need to instill in your children. The next one, turn to Proverbs 26.13. The next one that you need to instill in your children was also talked about last week and that is honesty. Your children need to learn to be honest. Turn to Proverbs 26.13. The Bible says in Proverbs 26.13, the slothful man saith, there's a lion in the way. A lion is in the streets. Now here's the point I'm trying to make with Proverbs 26.13. You will often find that people that lack honesty also are lazy because lazy people a lot of times are liars. Why is that? Because what's this guy in Proverbs 26.13 doing? He's making excuses. And lazy people are constantly making excuses. So they go together. You need to teach your children to be honest because if they're lazy, it'll turn them into liars basically. That's another thing I brought up last week. When your two year old and your three year old starts lying to you, you better come down on that one hard too. You better stop that in its tracks big time because it's easy to tell when a three year old's lying to you, it's not so hard to tell when a 15 year old who's been lying for 10 years is lying to you. Especially if you didn't realize it when they were four. And we've all seen this too. Now on excuses, let me just rabbit trail this thing and just give you a life lesson right here. Especially you young guys. Here's the thing about excuses. Don't ever do it, ever. Because here's the thing. Nobody cares why you failed. So when you go to work, you didn't get something done, nobody cares why you failed. You sit there and you think, don't get yourself in this mindset, oh if I just tell them that this happened like this, nobody cares. All they hear, all the boss hears is that it's not done. Doesn't hear anything else. And then you become that guy. That number one is a liar, and number two can't be relied on. That's it. Don't ever make excuses. Just make it a rule in your life. And guess what? That's good character. Because you know what? If I don't get something done, or I fail at something, I'm sorry, I will do it better next time. That will not happen again. Done. That's what you do. Everyone's messed up, I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I've identified the failure, I've fixed it, it won't happen again. That's character. That's good character. And people will recognize that. So that, you know, you need to have this walk yourself because you're training your kids to be this way. And they will recognize these things. If you're constantly making excuses to people, you're teaching your kids to do the same thing. Turn to 2 Timothy chapter 1. Here's the last one that, I had to stop somewhere, so here's the last one I want to give you on character traits that you need to install on your children. Turn to 2 Timothy chapter 1. Here's a character trait that you need to install on your children. Even after they're saved. Faith. Faith. We talked about it on Thursday night. You need to instill in your children a strength of faith, a loyalty to God is what you need to instill in your children. Because you can perfect your faith. You need to teach your children that they can perfect their faith. And that they should be working on that throughout their life. Look at 2 Timothy chapter 1, verse number 5. Talking about Timothy, when I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and in thy mother Eunice, and I am persuaded that in thee also. So moms, you spend the most time with these kids. How do your children see your faith? How do your children see your faith? Because you know what? You can see it. You can see it because faith rots with your works. Your children will be able to see your faith, moms. Especially since you spend all day with them. Every day. If you never talk about the Bible, there's never Bible time. There's never anything spiritual coming out of your mouth. Not that you should just be this person that just speaks in spiritual nothingness. But I'm talking about if you don't care about the word of God, your kids will notice it. And they will learn that faith from you. Or lack of faith from you. That's a huge one for the moms. You see here that Timothy's grandmother and his mother had this strong faith that was just, that Timothy just, he learned it from them, the Bible says. It's hugely powerful. So on top of character, we could talk and talk and talk about different details of character, but the point I want to just leave you with is that your kids are watching you. And they are learning their character from you. So if you have poor character and you have a poor walk with the Lord, that's what your kids are going to learn from you. So you need to take your life seriously and your walk seriously. These kids are watching you. Third tonight. I don't know why I keep saying tonight. Third this morning. You need to turn to Exodus 31. You need to prepare your kids. Now we're talking about when your kids are in their, you know, they're in their teens. You need to prepare these kids to succeed. You need to prepare these kids to succeed. Turn to Exodus 31. Your kids need to have actual skills in life. I mean, it was important in the Bible. This is the one that I was talking about a few weeks ago. This is the one where everyone just seems to stop listening. But the Bible talks about this. Everyone just stops listening at this point. I don't know if it's TV, if it's video games, the phone generation, or what it is, but I am seeing an entire generation of children that know how to do, they don't know how to do anything. They know nothing. Everyone thinks we're so smart because we have all these smart phones and all this, but I'm telling you, we have never been dumber in the history of our country. We have never been stupider than we are today. It's crazy. Nobody knows how to do anything anymore. But look, I'm seeing college graduates that don't know how to do anything. They're not functional people. That's how bad it is. Imagine getting out of college after you spend $100,000 or more, and not only can you not do anything, you're just unable to function. It's an epidemic today, and God forbid that it should happen to us. What God needed skilled men. Look at Exodus 31. Exodus 31 and verse number 1, and the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, See, I have called by name Bezalel, the son of Uri, the son of her, of the tribe of Judah, and I have filled him with the Spirit of God in wisdom and in understanding and in knowledge and in all manner of workmanship, to devise cunning works. That means he could build awesome things, to paraphrase, to work in gold and in silver and brass and cuttings of stones and to set them in carving of timber, to work in all manner of workmanship. This guy knew how to do everything. And behold, I have given with him a Holaib, the son of Ahishamach, of the tribe of Dan, and the hearts that are all of the wisehearted, I have put wisdom that they may make all that I have commanded thee. If you want your children to succeed in this life and especially to be able to support a family, they need to have some skills to succeed. Turn to 2 Chronicles chapter 2. Let me read you Proverbs 22 verse 29. See thou a man diligent in his business? He shall stand before kings. He shall not stand before mean men. If you're extremely skilled and you're diligent in that business of whatever your skill is, you will stand before important people, is what the Bible is saying here. And you won't have to take garbage from anybody. That's what it means, by he won't stand before mean men. Let's look at 2 Chronicles chapter 2 and verse number 12. I just love these verses in the Bible right here. This is Solomon. He's writing to the king of Tyre, who was David, his father's friend. And Solomon is getting ready to build the temple. And in verse number 12, Hiram says, he said, Moreover, blessed be the Lord God of Israel that made heaven and earth, who hath given to David the king a wise son, and dude with prudence and understanding, that might build a house for the Lord and a house for his kingdom. And I have sent a cunning man, and dude with understanding, of Hiram my father's. And right away after he talks about this cunning man, he describes who this cunning man's parents are. Please don't miss this. The son of a woman of the daughters of Dan, and his father was a man of Tyre, skillful to work in gold, and in silver, in brass, in iron, in stone, in timber, in purple, in blue, in fine linen, and in crimson, also to grave any manner of graving, and to find out every device. He could just figure out how everything worked. I love this guy. Find out every device which shall be put to him with thy cunning men, and with the cunning men of my Lord David thy father. So the first thing, mom and dads, you need to do is you need to, you see how he said he's describing this guy that he's sending? And how he describes this guy is how awesome this guy's father is. Because it's assumed that he'll know everything and more that his dad knew. So the first thing is, moms and dads, you need to teach your children what you know. Don't just go do the things that you do. You need to teach your kids the skills that you have. Make sure, and guess what? That takes time. That takes time. And if I'm going to work on something, and I'm going to teach, you know, my son what every tool in the toolbox is, it's going to take me a little bit longer to do that than if I would just go and just hammer it out myself. You got to take the time. You got to take the time to teach them what you know. You say, well, I don't know anything, well, it's not going to work out, you know, I don't know what to tell you. I'm lazy and I don't know anything. Well, good luck to your kids. Point number two, when your children get into their teens, you need to help them map some actual goals for their life. You know, this is the whole, what do you want to be when you grow up? You need to start talking to your teenagers about this. You see, worldly parents don't have to do this. Worldly parents, they don't have to have a plan for their kids because the plan is on autopilot. Because the plan is this, daycare, public school, college, life crushing debt. That's the plan. The analogy I was thinking of was, you know, the Tesla automated driving car. They're on autopilot. By the way, I know two guys with Teslas and they have both crashed them on autopilot. So all these people are going to crash. But don't replace the automated Tesla car with no driver at all, please. A couple years ago, or a year and a half ago, I preached this sermon called why I won't send my kids to college. And I won't send my kids to college. But one of the fears that I had about that sermon was that people would just take that as an excuse to just not put anyone in the driver's seat. To just get the kids through school, you know, okay, they're saved, and you know, they're not in prison, and done. No. You have more responsibility than that. You have to get in the driver's seat. But you see, the problem with that is this. When you go down this road of staying home to raise your kids, and figuring out how to homeschool your kids, which is hard. And then actually doing a good job homeschooling your kids. And then after that, you know, not sending them to college, but coming up with some different plan for them where they can still succeed, you know, that's difficult. Total freedom equals total responsibility. If you grab the wheel, you better know how to drive. And you can still crash. So please help them plan to succeed, and I'm just going to give you some examples. You know, education, first of all, the biggest fear of that sermon, that people would think that education is not important. Education is so important. Kids need to be, that's one of the beauties of homeschooling, by the way, is that kids will become self-starters in their own education. They will start learning things, look, Garrett takes college classes from home. He will be going to Sacramento for two weeks a year to take training for this apprenticeship that he's in, but he's going to be in an area that has a good church where he can keep going to church. You see, that's a plan. It's a plan. Learning a skill set is still important. Education is still important. Jacob last night was, and my kids have heard me say this maybe a billion times, reputation is good, by the way. I don't care if they think, oh, dad said that again. I don't care. I'm going to keep saying it. Jacob's sitting in the corner last night reading a book, and I just told him, I was like, hey, that's great, because those that read are smart, and those that don't are dumb, period. If your kids turn 18, get out of high school, and they never read another book, they're going to be dumb, because they won't read the Bible either. Those that read are smart, and those that don't are dumb. You can quote me on that. Education is super important. I want educated kids coming out of my house. So don't just throw your kids to the wolves, because being able to support a family, by the way, is still an important part of the Bible. Turn to 1 Timothy 5.8. Yes, we're going there again. 1 Timothy 5.8. But if any provide not for his own, especially those of his own house, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel. You could raise a saved child that goes to church three times a week and is worse than an infidel if he doesn't support his family. First of all, he'll probably never get married. I can't tell you how many young ladies my wife and I know that they're not married because they can't find someone that can do this. I'm serious. It's this one reason. It's the number one reason that we know so many single ladies, because they can't find someone that can support them. It takes more than spirituality. And here's the thing. I want to get really detailed here, because look, there's a huge golden opportunity for your kids. If your kids are 12, 13, 14, 15 years old, there is a huge golden window after high school. Now the typical kid today, I already told you, he's just going to college. He's just getting in all kinds of debt, and he's ruining his life before he even gets started. If these kids today can get out of high school ASAP, find something that they could form a business out of, that they could turn into their own business, this is an ideal goal for me. It doesn't have to be your goal. Get into the program, start working while they're under their parents' roof, they could save a ton of money. They could be going the opposite way. Everybody's going in debt. They could be going this way. It's a unique window that's once in your life. They could start training, they can start working, they can start saving money. All of their counterparts are in college going into debt and learning how to be a drunk and learning how to be a whore and learning how to be a whoremonger. I mean it's the opposite. Instead they're heading into this world and they're getting more and more responsibility. They're learning these advanced skills like financial responsibility while under authority. It's great. Take advantage of it. Help them formulate a plan where they can learn these advanced skills under your authority. Take advantage of it. The window's small. I mean we're talking maybe three, four, five years here. They can start learning these financial things. They can start learning to save a large percentage of their money that they make. They can learn to give 10% to church like the Bible says. They can learn all these advanced things. By the way, I never had to tell my son to tithe. He just saw us do it. You know? We're driving Friday night. We went to look at Christmas lights or something. I don't even know if this has anything to do with the sermon. We saw this kid, this little girl. She was Ashley's age or younger. She's walking down the sidewalk smoking a cigarette. She's walking down the sidewalk with some dirt bag or whatever. She's smoking a cigarette and I'm just like, I forgot to teach my daughter not to smoke. I had a lecture in the car and I was like, Ashley, listen here. Don't smoke. I mean we're all laughing. It's a huge joke. You know, Ashley, no drinking. It's a huge joke because they see the example. You don't even have to go down these stupid detailed trails like this. They see the example of not only their family, but they see the example of people like that. I always said that standing out in front of Verity Baptist Church with that methadone clinic right next door, that's the best opportunity for kids to never do drugs ever. You got a kid who's like, oh, you know, maybe drugs is a good idea. Hey, stand with me out here for 10 minutes at 10.15 on Sunday morning and watch the zombies, you know. You know, they're all, you know, they're just shaking all over the place. Hey, let's go get some cocaine or heroin or whatever it is. No. I mean, anyway, life skills, life skills under authority. I mean, it was such a relief just seeing like, you know, first of all, we just talked about how terrible it is that a young kid would grow up that way and think that, you know, who's given a 12-year-old cigarettes, for crying out loud, and that, you know, it's sad, right? But it's just the beauty that you don't have, when you live an example of life and you teach your kids the word of God, that's the main one, because, you know, she doesn't have a perfect dad, Ashley. But when you teach your kids the word of God, they're going to see things like that and it's going to be like, whoa, exceedingly sinful. Exceedingly sinful. Exceedingly sinful. You don't have to teach those things. Learning life skills under authority. Huge opportunity. Look, these kids, if they're just hanging out at home after high school being a bum when they're done with high school, you know, it's just a huge wasted opportunity. Learning to work in the world, I was just talking with one of you guys yesterday about this. Learning to work in the world is a skill. If you're saved and you have to go out in the workforce amongst unsaved people, handling that situation in a proper Christian way is a skill. And it must be learned, and it's best learned under authority. Turn to 1 Corinthians 5. I want to show you guys something. We just got done with the boot series talking about 1 Corinthians 5-11. Men will have to work in the world. It's a learned skill. You need to know how to handle it. My daughter doesn't know how to handle it, because she's never going to be sent out in the world to work. So you say, I don't want to work with worldly people, but the problem with that philosophy is this, the Bible. Okay, look at 1 Corinthians 5 verse 9, two verses before verse number 11. And I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators, yet not altogether with fornicators of this world. Or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters. For then must ye needs go out of the world. And then he goes into this, what I meant is if any man be called a brother. And we define that in that boot series. That if somebody's in this church and they become a member of this church, and we get to know them, and they be called a brother, and then they're into these sins. That's, you know, time to exercise church discipline at that point, start that process going. But what it's saying is, in verse number 10, look, if it meant just people in the world, you would never be able to even, you just have to go out of the world. You wouldn't even be able to exist in the world. So you will have to be in the world. You have to help your children know how to deal with that. That's why I would just interrogate Garrett after every job that he got. Every single night we'd sit down to dinner, who are you working for? How old are they? Are they married? Well, how do they talk? Do they swear? Even the interviews. Did anyone swear in the interview? I'm just trying to get a feel for what kind of situation he's walking into. Because there's situations where I wouldn't want them there. If it's just this vulgar, perverted environment, get out. Because it affects you. But, you know, unsaved people are just unsaved people. Most people aren't reprobates out there. You know? So you have to teach them how to work in those environments while holding that character that you've already taught them five, six, seven, eight years ago. You see how this all builds on itself? It all builds. Every building block builds on the next. And if you miss a block, the whole thing comes down. So like you say, you know, this sounds complicated. Well, hey, it's training. It's training. Training is complicated. Each step builds on the next. We talked about, when they're young, the structure and the boundaries, right? You build the structure, you create the boundaries in that structure, and then you enforce them. It's the first building block. If you miss it, you can't continue. Respecting authority, building character, learning skills, and then having a plan to execute those skills. Each step fails if the previous one was not taught. I mean, it's complicated. It should make you a little nervous if you're like, wow, this raising kids thing doesn't seem so simple. It's good. You should feel that way. You know, I used to go up in these, we had this guy at one of these plants, he was the designated guy to go up in the crazy high places, like 600 feet in the air on an open grading deck and things like that. God just didn't care about heights. He would always say, when he brought people up to those heights, he would say, you know what's the people that get up here and they're not afraid? Because whenever I was up there, I was like, no, I'm fine, but I'm hanging on to something, you know? He's like, it's the people that aren't worried that I worry about, is what he would always say. You know, the guys that are just nonchalant and they just don't even really care, those are the ones that are going to get hurt. It's the same thing with kids. It should make you nervous, these things. It should make you nervous enough to sit down with your spouse and formulate a plan. How are we going to do this? How are we going to discipline our kids? What's that structure going to look like? What are those boundaries going to look like? You know, men, you're to lead this, lead this discussion. And then, hey, how do we need to act in this home? You know, how are we going to study the Bible as a family in this home? And then you lead the, you're sitting down at the dinner table, hey, I was reading this last night, what do you guys think about this verse? I mean, lead the conversations in those directions, it's easy to do. It doesn't have to be formal, anything. It's a culture. Now let me talk about, I talked a lot about things that apply to boys this morning. I want to talk a little bit about girls. And I want you to understand, and this is something that's its own sermon by itself, but here's another thing that's very important to me, and I don't have time to get into the Bible on it, but there's a lot of this in the Bible, as far as favoritism and raising children, everything that we provide for one of our kids, we will provide for the other. And you need to understand that. So my daughter is not going to be in a situation where when she's 16, 17, 18 years old, she's going to be able to just go to work and save all this money. So we've already made a plan where we're putting things away for her. And she will have that same goal, that same amount that we want her to have when she goes off and gets married. See, we're going to treat them all the same. Because favoritism can destroy a lot of things, folks. It's its own sermon. I don't have time, but I just want you to understand that it's very important to our family. When you see favoritism of people in the Bible, it causes a lot of problems in families in the Bible. One thing that we do for another, if we do for one, we will do for the other. Okay? And you need to keep that in mind as well. And guess what? When we put away money for our daughter, guess who provides that money? Me! Because it's my responsibility to provide for her until her husband takes over that responsibility for her. You see? And you better believe that when she's 35 and starts dating, that I will make sure that whoever is looking to court my daughter can provide for her, or he will not say a word to her. You think I'm so serious about that? It's heart attack stuff. I already talk to her about it all the time. I talk to my daughter all the time. Is anyone messing with you at church? Because I'll kill them. Is everyone nice to you here? I mean, we just had a conversation this morning about this. How are you doing? I mean, you've got to have this relationship with all of your children. Okay? It's not just about the boys. Alright? Alright. Conclusion. Let's look at the verse of the week. Turn to Ephesians 6 and verse number 4. Because this is a verse that maybe people, if they don't have older children, won't really understand. Let's wrap up this sermon with this verse. Ephesians 6 and verse number 4. And this is something that I'm trying to do the best that I can at. And you know, I think I'm getting better at it. You maybe ask Garrett. Don't ask Garrett. But it's something that you have to get right. In Ephesians 6 and verse 4 the Bible says, And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. And what does that mean, provoke not your children to wrath? Here's what it means. As your children get older and start maturing and getting more responsible and getting character, you need to treat them as such. You need to not treat your 18-year-old like a 5-year-old. That's not going to go well. Because one thing that you'll see when your kids start taking on more and more responsibility, they change. They turn into adults, it's weird. And you need to not treat them like a 5-year-old. I don't treat my 12-year-old like a 5-year-old, my 13-year-old like a 5-year-old. It would not go well. It would provoke them to wrath. Now make no mistake, I'm still in charge. And as a matter of fact, I got Garrett's permission to tell this story, but Garrett just turned 18. And I just had a conversation with him about turning 18 a week or two weeks ago. And here's the thing about turning 18. You know what? Turning 18, it's a big deal, right? You're 18 now, you can vote, you can get drafted, you're an adult in the United States when you turn 18. But you know what turning 18 has to do with the Bible? Nothing. I'm still in charge. You're still under my authority. But I don't treat him like he's 5. And he's still under the authority of his parents. And I think he wants to be, I think. But we're helping him in these more complex areas now. Because the tracts are laid, he's on the tracts. And now we're helping him in the more complicated areas still under our authorities. Here's another thing. When your kids get older and they start learning the Bible, and they start learning the proper ways to do things. Because here's the thing about me. I am not a perfect parent. So when I make a mistake as a parent to, whether it be my older son or daughter or whatever, you know, I apologize. I apologize. I say, I'm sorry that I handled things that way, I should not have handled things that way. When I've made a mistake, I own it, period. Because your kids will know what the Bible says if you've done your job right. And if you're going against something that the Bible says, and you've got, whether you get in the flesh and you do something or whatever, you know, just own it. I'm not a perfect parent, I'll never claim to be. But just own your mistakes. No excuses, remember? No excuses. It's character training and they're going to learn it from you. And here's the last thing. They not only need discipline and training and skills and character, but they need encouragement. Especially as they get older. You know, I don't have to, you know, encourage a two year old for not, for doing the right thing. But when my kids get older and they start learning these things, you know, this is just good leadership. Just encourage your children. Don't be this tyrant that is just constantly catching them doing things wrong and it's all about what you did wrong and you didn't do enough things right. No, give them encouragement. Encourage them when they get it right. There's two sides to this. Encourage them. Look folks, it's a handoff. You know what I'm saying? It's a handoff here. You know in a relay race, you know, the guy with the baton, you know, the other guy starts running like way before the guy gets there, right? I mean the guy with the baton doesn't run full speed at a guy just standing there and just smash the thing into his chest and knock him all over and he's all, whoa, you know. He gets up and he has to run. No, it's a handoff. It's a handoff. You handoff, you know, the authority to God. And God takes over the authority in, you know, in your children's life when they leave your home or they leave your authority. You're still there to respect your parents, don't misunderstand what I'm saying. But it's a handoff. You're trying to get them up to speed. It's your responsibility to get them up to speed. And you know, if you do it correctly, they can go straight from your home into the married life sermon. They can skip the single life. They can skip that whole thing with your kids. It's super important, folks. It's just biblical building blocks and you have to recognize these things. These things that I brought up today, it's not a complete list. You got to sit down. You got to have a plan. You got to plan your work and work your plan. And then you'll succeed. Your kids will succeed. Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer. Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for today. We thank you for the Bible. And Lord, we thank you for our children, you know, this gift that you've given us for such a short time, Lord. I ask that you just give us all wisdom in raising these children and help us just to heed the words in the Bible that we would know, Lord, how to handle situations, that we could just help these kids, Lord, we could provide them with a structured life, teach them boundaries, how to respect those boundaries, Lord, teach them character, and then teach them these complex life skills, Lord, that will help them succeed. Not only be saved, Lord, but have successful marriages and raise godly children themselves. Lord, we love you. We ask all these things in Jesus' name. Amen.