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Hey, man, so keep your place there in Ephesians chapter number four. Maybe you could say that the sermon this morning is a little bit more lighthearted than usual, but at least you should take it that way, all right? I'm sure I'll still offend some of you this morning. We're going to talk about a specific subject this morning. So I told you this summer we're going to kind of be focusing on personal development this summer. And this morning I want to talk about a very specific area of personal development, a very specific thing that I think is being lost today, and it has a large effect on your life and the people around you. And that subject is the subject of manners. So I want to talk this morning about manners and mannerisms. Specifically, specifically, I want to talk about how we, what do I mean by manners? I mean how we act and how we speak to those around us. That's what I want to talk about this morning. If you look down on to Ephesians chapter number four, look at verse number 32. And look, manners is something, manners is something that if you find somebody in your life, and I'm going to give you specific examples of what I mean by manners, and I'm going to talk about, I just, I made some lists of things that I think people are losing today as far as manners go. But something you have to understand about manners is when I list these things that you're going to hear this morning, you're going to go, well, you know, maybe I could improve in that area, or I know people who are really bad at that. People that don't have good manners were not taught good manners. They never learned those things from their parents. So it's very important that we teach our children good manners, all right? And manners are specific things that are, they're basically specific standards that come from what the Bible teaches. Look down at verse number 32 for example, all right? So I'm going to give you a lot of Bible verses, you know, talking about the specific examples. I'll give you a Bible verse, and then I'm going to give you specific examples of the application of that. But you know, the Bible doesn't cover every tiny little, you know, situation, but it gives us the general rules for all situations, all right? Look at verse number 32 of Ephesians chapter number four. The Bible says, and be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. So before I even give you examples of manners, good manners and bad manners, what is the point of having manners? Why do I even care about having manners? First of all, the Bible tells us to be kind to one another, all right? I'm going to give you two reasons that you should have manners at the beginning of the sermon, and then I'm going to give you the main reason at the end of the sermon why a Christian should have manners. The first reason that we should have manners, you know, the Bible tells us in Ephesians chapter four to be kind to one another. Turn to Philippians chapter number two, Philippians chapter number two. So the Bible's teaching us how we should treat other people, all right? Look at Philippians chapter two and verse number three, Philippians chapter two. So I'm going to give you two points, two reasons. I'm going to try to convince you to be a polite and mannered filled person this morning. The first two reasons I'm going to give you at the beginning, then I'm going to give you examples, and then I'm going to give you the main reason as a Christian that you should have manners at the end of the sermon. And hopefully if I've done my job, you'll be convinced that you should be a person that has good manners. Look at Philippians two and verse number three. The Bible says, let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind, let each esteem other better than themselves. So the Bible in Ephesians chapter four, the Bible in Philippians chapter two, and many other places in the Bible is teaching us that we should think more about other people than we think about ourselves, meaning I should care more about the feelings of other people. Look, this is hard to fake. If you find rude people that have bad manners, one of the things that it shows you right away about them is that they don't think of other people, they only think of themselves. And so I told you this is a lighthearted sermon. A lot of these things that I bring up this morning, you're going to think are lighthearted, but they actually show a lot about your character. Little things that I'm going to bring up this morning, little mannerisms show a lot about your character. And the first thing that they show is whether or not you think of others. So having manners, look, I'm not talking about etiquette this morning. What's the difference between manners and etiquette? It's like, you know, which fork, you know, the fork on the far left, you know, which fork do you use? You go to a restaurant that's got four forks or whatever, I don't even think there's a restaurant like that in Fresno, but that's etiquette, right? These little, you know, societal things. I'm talking about manners. Everything that I bring up to you this morning is going to affect other people. So the first point with manners is that it affects others. Having manners or not having manners affects other people. Through your manners, you have, I mean, look, folks, through your mannerisms, you can dismiss this sermon or you can not, but through your mannerisms, you have the ability to make others feel good or feel bad. Just the way you act and the way you speak, I mean, just holding the door for someone, giving someone your seat, you know, these are types of things or not. These small things, they speak volumes about your character. All right? I mean, just think about, you know, two, you know, people, you ever been in this situation where you're walking towards the door of a restaurant and there's another family walking towards the door of the restaurant too and you know if you hold the door for that lady that she's going to get on the list before you? Do you bust through the door and get to the hostess as fast as possible or do you just hold the door for somebody? Look, that speaks volumes to people about your character. All little things like that speak volumes about because, you know, to those people you don't know and you've never even seen before, they're like, this guy, this person has character. They know that they're going to get on the list before you. They know that, but you don't care. You just put other people before yourself, even though you're not going to see those people probably again in your life, but guess who else sees that? Your family sees that. Your children see that. You're teaching manners in those cases. All right? The first point is that it's thinking of other people. Having manners affects other people, but the second point is this. It also benefits you. Having manners benefits you. Having manners or not having manners will either bring people to you or drive people away from you. People may not even understand why they don't like being around you, but having good manners will either draw people towards you and having bad manners will draw people away from you. All right? Look, I'm going to give you some specific examples this morning. Turn to 1 Corinthians chapter number 14. Turn to 1 Corinthians chapter number 14. It is my personal opinion that our society today, you know, there's this term called common courtesy. Common courtesy is going away today. I feel, I believe personally that our society is becoming too casual today, and I do not think that anything good comes from this casual everything in society. I think that common courtesy should be common amongst Christians. Look at 1 Corinthians chapter number 14 and look at verse number 40. We should not be too casual in all the things that we do. We should not go along with just the casual thinking of the world. We should listen to what the Bible says and we should keep our politeness and keep our manners. Verse number 40 of 1 Corinthians chapter 14, the Bible says, let all things be done decently and in order. It sounds like there should be some formality to how we do things in the Christian life. The Bible is just saying that, you know, there shouldn't be this free for all and it doesn't matter how, you know, people act, how they look, whatever, go to Matthew chapter number 5. Let me give you some specific examples now. I'll give you some specific examples. We're talking this morning about how we act and how we speak. So I'm going to first give you examples of acting in a way that is polite. And I wrote down some examples in both acting and speaking that I think are being lost today, that I think people are being too casual about today. Look, you can agree with me or disagree with me, but this is what I see in the world today. Look at Matthew chapter number 5 and verse number 37. The first example I want to give you is RSVPing to things, reserving, you know, I'm telling, you know, we have a sign up sheet out in the foyer right now and, you know, that's an RSVP. We have a wedding coming up in October and the people that are putting on the wedding, the couple that's getting married, they're asking that you would RSVP to that event. What does that mean? Tell us if you're coming or not as soon as possible. Look at Matthew chapter 5 and verse number 37. I'm going to show you Bible verses that apply to these things. The Bible says, Jesus says, let your communication be yay, yay, nay, nay for whatever is more than these cometh of evil. Look, saying nothing is rude. You know, having someone RSVP, you know, give you an RSVP or give you an invite to something and saying nothing, it's bad manners. It's rude because the Bible is saying, say yes or say no. That's what it's saying. Do you agree? I mean, that's what the Bible is saying, but people are like, ah, you know, they'd say nothing. I mean, so the worst thing, I mean, it's rude to say nothing at all, to not say yes or no when you are given an invite to something. And look, saying yes when you mean no is also rude, is also bad manners. The thing you have to understand about RSVPs and signup sheets and all of these things, and this is what people miss, and I'm going to tell you why that American society is so bad here. Look, when people invite you to something, they're spending money on you. They're working. They're spending labor. They're spending time. They are spending effort on you, specifically, and if you say yes, I'll be there, and you don't show up, you've literally wasted the time, the labor, and the money that they spent on you. But Americans today, they have so many things done for them, it's just this entitled society where people just, they don't care. They're just like, oh, I deserve it, and people should just spend money on me, and people should just buy me everything, and that's how Americans think. But what you have to understand is, even down to a simple detail of somebody inviting you over to their house, people have spent money on you. They have went out and they have prepared, they've spent time, they've spent labor on you. So your yes should be yes, and your no should be no. It's okay to say, no, I can't go to, you know, something, but let your no be no and your yes be yes. That's what Jesus is saying. But look, back to the original point of having manners, the first two points. Saying yes when you mean no, or saying no when you mean yes, or saying nothing at all, it hurts you. It not only hurts them because they spent money and time and labor, but it hurts you personally, because immediately, you know how many times you have to do that, where people are like, yeah, that's somebody we just can't rely on. You know how many times you have to do that? One time. And everybody knows people, everybody has buckets in their mind of people, like, okay, when these people say they're coming, they're coming. And when these people say they're coming, like, we just have no idea. And you know how many times it takes to get in that no idea bucket? One time. Because it's irritating to people, so you do damage to yourself. So help me help you this morning. You know, be someone where your yes means yes and your no means no. Here's another one. I just had an experience. We all have experiences with this every single day, if you drive in traffic. But here's one, just like waiting in line. Waiting in line. I was at the post office the other day, which must be the worst organization on planet earth. And I will never use the post office ever again, but I'm waiting in line at the post office. I'm waiting in line at the post office, and I'm just like, hey, there's a line, okay. I need to get this package, so here's the line. I'm waiting in it. And there's a lady like two people behind me, and she just keeps interrupting everybody and going to the front of the counter and being like, how long is this going to take? I really need my package. Like, you know, her package is so much more important than everybody else's package. Like, I don't need my package. You know, just let these people work, whatever their inefficient process is, let it play out. But it's just, I'm so much more important than everybody, and this needs to change just for me personally. Look, people that can't wait in line, or people that, look, you're not busier than anyone else. Everyone's busy. Your time is not any more important than anybody else. Just be patient, alright. The Bible teaches a lot about patience. Here's one, and this is a pet peeve of mine, and you all know this, being on time. Being on time is good manners, alright. And look, here's the thing that it, and I'm not talking about somebody that's just late, just once in a while, I'm talking about people that are just perpetually late. I mean, I was, I mean, even I've been late once back in 1998, I was late one time. To something. But, it is so easy to be on time to things. It is so easy to not be late to things. If you are late all the time, what you are literally telling people is, I just care about me, and I don't care about you. That's literally what you're saying. You're saying, I don't care about whatever this event is that you're putting on. I don't care about this wedding. It's whatever I had going on was more important than whatever you have going on here. And again, you also hurt yourself because you become this person that everyone knows just can't show up on time to things. Alright. We'll get second, go to second Samuel chapter number 19. Being on time has always been a pet peeve of mine because it's so easy to fix. We have all these devices. I mean, being on time is as easy to fix, it's as easy as getting saved. I mean, it's so easy. I mean, you just set your alarm, you just set your clock, you just, you know, whatever it is that you have to do. I mean, we have devices that will do this stuff for us, right. Alright. We'll get second Samuel chapter 19. Now, let's get into, let's get into an odd one that you wouldn't see coming. Look at second Samuel chapter 19 and verse number 24. Second Samuel chapter 19 verse number 24. So David's coming back now, the epsilon has been defeated. David's coming back into his kingdom and Mephibosheth, the son of Saul comes out to meet him. And Mephibosheth, the son of Saul came down to meet the king and had neither dressed his feet nor trimmed his beard nor washed his clothes from the day the king departed until the day he came again in peace. Now, I don't really want to get into this story or anything, but what I want to point out is the way this man looked, the way this man was kept was extremely obvious to everyone, so much that the Bible noted it. Alright. And he did it on purpose, so it would be obvious that he was in mourning, that he was, you know, showing that he was, you know, mourning the loss of his king. He was trying by this kind of unorthodox way, he was kind of trying to show David hey, I've been mourning, I've been, you know, mourning your loss of your kingdom and I'm glad you're back. But the point is this, it was obvious. So the next set of manners that I want to bring up is, you know, and how we act is personal hygiene. Personal hygiene. And look, this is something, all of these things that I'm talking to you about are things that we need to teach our kids, but this is something that you need to teach your kids or it is going to be very detrimental to their life. I mean, I'm talking about, you know, just being neatly kept. I'm not talking about having the most expensive anything, but I'm talking about knowing how to take care of yourself, knowing how to get dressed, having proper clothing, not showing up somewhere with, you know, a shirt with a big stain on it or something. Because look, you know, brush your teeth, put your deodorant on, all these different things. These things need to be taught to kids and you will find adults that can't do these things and that means that they were never taught how to do these things when they're adults. And look, folks, if you don't think that that won't affect you in your life, you are, you are dreaming. You don't think that personal hygiene is not going to affect your social situations, your employment, whatever it is, it can have a serious detrimental effect on you and the people around you. Because guess what? People may not be rude to you, but they're not going to be around you if you're unkept and not washed. And you know, people may not say anything to you, some people might say something to you, but it's going to affect other people and it will have an effect on you. All right, turn back to Ephesians chapter number four. Look, I could go on and on and on about polite mannerisms and how we act, okay? But the point is, in our actions, if you just, you're like, well, is that a comprehensive list? That's not a comprehensive list. I'm just giving you some examples. But the point is, with your actions, if you literally are somebody that thinks of other people, you will, you will tend towards good manners. Because you will think in everything that you do, in even how you look and, and how you act, you will think, how does this affect other people? And you will be someone who gravitates towards someone who has good manners, right? It's all about thinking of other people. And look, that will affect what people think of you as well. Now let's talk about having good manners in your speech. Look down at verse number 29, it's the verse of the week, the verse of the week, Ephesians chapter number four. I'm going to spend a little bit more time on this one, but it's the same concept. It's the same concept. In the way we speak, we should first think of other people. Because the way we think, the Bible says the tongue is a fire. I mean, we can hurt people, we can do serious damage with the things that we say, all right? So look at the Bible in verse number 29 of Ephesians chapter four, and you know, this verse right here, I believe most times I've heard this verse preached, I don't disagree with the preaching I've heard on it, but I feel like it's being used too narrowly many times. Look what the Bible says, it says, let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth. But that which is good under the use of edifying, that it may minister grace under the hearers. Most times I've heard this verse used to talk about profanity and swearing, which I agree with. You know, that is corrupt communication. It's bad. I believe that, you know, using profanity is a horrible thing for a Christian to do. It's one of the biggest things you can do in your life, especially in this world today, to differentiate yourself as a Bible-believing Christian is to not speak in the profane language of the world. And I think that if a Christian does go out in the world and they do use profanity, that they are leaving a huge benefit on the table that they have to set themselves apart from people in this world. It's one of those things where you could set yourself apart in just a matter of minutes in a group of people by not using profanity. But this is such a broad-reaching verse right here. The Bible says literally no corrupt communication should come out of your mouth. What does it say? But that which is good. Then it kind of gives us the other side of it. It says, but that which is good to the use of edifying. The Bible is saying don't let corrupt communication come out of your mouth. It doesn't specifically say that means only profanity, but it says you should only be saying things that are good and that are edifying. What does edifying mean? Edifying means that it does others good, that it improves someone else. So it means you should not be saying things that don't improve other people. You should not be saying, look, that covers way more than just swearing and just profanity. All right? So a problem today, a problem today is that people just don't know what good or corrupt good communication is and what corrupt communication is. People just don't know because, look, people saying rude things is much more common than people actually doing rude things. You see people say and communicate rudely much more than you see people actually doing rude things. Let me give you some examples. I don't want to spend too much time on this one, but Garrett brought this up in his sermon, Do You Hear What I'm Saying? But here's one, you know, we had the leaf blower and he shot Jacob in the face with the leaf blower. But here's a way we can have, you know, communication that is bad, that is not good for others. And it's just not paying attention when people are speaking. You know, not listening, that's what Garrett's whole sermon was about, just not listening to people speak. Look, I'm going to tell you right now, this is a huge problem in this church. I see this here. Here's the thing that I see all the time in this church. I see groups of men. I don't pay attention to what the women are talking about or what they're doing. So ladies, you're off the hook on this one. But I see this all the time with the men. I see groups of men standing around or maybe even just two or three men standing around visiting. And I see one of the men just like extremely rude. Look, it's bad manners. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but it's just bad manners because literally what you're saying is, I have no interest in what you're talking about. I have no interest in this conversation. Look, you got to check your phone or do something. Step away. Step away. Somebody sends you a text message that, you know, you're being called into battle or whatever. Step away and go somewhere in private and, you know, check your message or whatever. I never bring my phone up to the pulpit, but I see that all the time here. And I'm telling you, like, I'm not mad at you, but I'm just telling you you're hurting people's feelings. The guy that's talking that sees that is just like, okay, he's not listening to me. Everybody feels that way. Everybody thinks that. Here's another one. I'm talking about good or bad manners in the way that we speak. Addressing people formally. Addressing people formally. Like, this is especially something that kids need to be taught. Kids need to be taught. I don't know if you've ever heard, I've never heard it in this church, but I don't I don't know if you've ever heard, like, a child that calls their parent by their first name. Like, it's like the most terrible thing you'll ever hear. Like, you know, that should just, like, burn your ears, something like that. Because children, especially in the church, look, we all address each other, brother so and so, brother this, brother that. But kids should never go up and call an adult by their first name. And one of the greatest things about moving down south, we saw, is like kids in the south. They always addressed adults by, like, Miss Heidi, and by this first, you know, kind of pretext to, you know, kind of a title to an adult's name. It's a great thing for kids to learn, all right? How about this one? How about this one? Talking with food in your mouth. That's corrupt communication right there, all right? And no, you laugh and you think that this one's no big deal, but let me tell you something. Table manners in general could change your life. You need to make sure that you have good table manners and you need to make sure that you are teaching your kids good table manners. This is one of the greatest benefits, other than, you know, just spending family time. This is one of the greatest benefits of having dinner every single night at your house and sitting down as a family, is you get a chance to teach your children table manners. Because guess what? Table manners can change your life. Table manners can cost you relationships in your life. Imagine some young man that goes out to dinner with some girl that he's interested in and is meeting her family for the first time. Just picture this for a second. And they haven't known each other, you know, very long and he's going out and meeting her family at a restaurant and he goes and he's just, he's just chewing and talking to her dad with his mouth open and her dad's sitting there looking at his chewed up food the entire time and he's got barbecue sauce on his face and he's wiping it off with his tie and he's just making an absolute swine of himself. Look, that could end the relationship. Things like that could end relationships. Things like that could cost you jobs. I remember I was taught, I was taught by some very wise men in my life on just like how to, how to go to a lunch job interview. Things to order, things not to order. You don't go to a lunch job interview and order spaghetti where you're going to have like, because what does it do? Number one, it gives you, you don't order something that either you have to eat with your hands or you have a high chance of spilling something on yourself or having food hang out of your mouth. You don't want to be like just shoveling spaghetti in your mouth and like sucking noodles up, you know, to people that are thinking about, you know, you're all, you know, wiping your hand, you know, your face with your hand. You're not getting the job if you do those things. You should, I was always taught like you should order something like a chicken breast. You should order something like a small steak, something that you can use silverware to eat that won't be a lot to eat. You also don't want to order like the largest things and eat as much as possible in a job interview. Look, you want to show yourself to be someone that has good manners, all right? It's a big deal. Like table manners could literally cost you relationships, cost you jobs, all of these different things, all right? How about this one, talking about communicating in a polite way and having good manners in your communications. And look, I'm going to probably offend somebody with this one. I'm going to use an example of Brother Trevor on this one, but just as an odd example. But not responding to text messages, and I'm using Brother Trevor as a good example, so don't panic Brother Trevor, don't run out of the church. But I can't really blanket statement this one, but if you're somebody that is known to have their phone with them a lot and you just don't respond to certain people, they will know. They will know that you're being rude to them. Now Brother Trevor, the reason I use him as an example is because he's one that is known to not have his phone with him much. Like I'll text him, like he's not one that I expect like a five-minute answer from because like Brother Trevor, he's on the farm, he's on track, I don't know what you're doing all day, you're obviously working, but he's not one where he has his phone attached to his hip and just responds very quickly to people. So that's not what I'm talking about, all right? But if you're somebody that's known, like I pretty much respond to things pretty quickly because I feel like I'm the pastor, I should respond to people quickly. So like if I don't respond to somebody, it could be taken as rude. Like if somebody didn't, let me use myself as an example, Brother Jeff texted me and I just didn't text him back, he would, look, it could just be an oversight on my part, like that happens to me too. But I should do my best to be responding to him because he could be like, why isn't pastor responding to me? Well, what's going on here? Because I generally respond to people quickly with text messages. This is kind of like returning phone calls, right? You miss a phone call, you should return the phone call. It just couldn't be taken as a form of rudeness that people will think, right? All right, that's kind of a small one, but look at this one. How about this one? Greetings and Salutations. Turn to 1 Corinthians chapter number 1. We can turn to every epistle on this one. Greetings and Salutations. So greetings is something that you see every single letter that Paul writes, he goes through several verses talking about just these over-the-top greetings and I'm praying for you and all of this. Look at 1 Corinthians chapter 1 verse number 1. Paul called to be an apostle of Jesus Christ, verse 1, through the will of God and in Sosthenes, our brother, unto the church of God which is at Corinth, to them that are sanctified, keep in mind this is a letter, in Christ Jesus called to be saints with all that are in every place call upon the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, both theirs and ours, grace be unto you. So he said something very nice to them. He's like, I hope God puts his grace upon you and peace from God our Father and from our Lord Jesus Christ. And then he says something, another thing he says very nice, I thank my God always on your behalf for the grace of God which is given you by Jesus Christ. And then at the end of the chapter, go to 1 Corinthians chapter 16. So he made sure that he gives this overwhelming, you know, hello to them in this letter. Just this greeting to them, this wonderful, I'm praying for you, I hope God gives you grace. And then he kind of writes this harsh letter to them. But then he ends it very well by a salutation to them as well. Look at verse number 20 of 1 Corinthians 16. Does all the brethren greet you? Greet ye one another with a holy kiss. So he's just, again, he's literally telling them you should greet one another. The salutation of me, Paul, with my own hand. If any man love not the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be in Anathema and Maranatha. The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you, my love be with you all in Christ Jesus. Go to 1 Thessalonians chapter number 5. So the first lesson here on greetings is, look, you should greet people when you see them. You should greet people when you come into the church, you should say good morning, hello brother, shake hands with people. You should greet people. Most people do this, but some people don't. Some people will just walk by people and when it's time for them to leave, they'll just leave and they just won't say goodbye. You should not do that. You should greet people. That is good manners. When you're ready to say goodbye, you should say goodbye to your brothers and sisters in Christ. That's good manners. Because you know what people will do if you've been talking with people all day or whatever at church and then you just leave, people will be like, man, that guy didn't even, some people will say this. They will think this. Oh, he didn't even say goodbye. Is he upset with me or is he upset with something that I said? People will, you know, they will just think that you're not a polite person again. But look, if you're thinking and you're wanting to make people feel good, you're thinking about other people, you will greet people. Good morning. How are you doing? You will talk to people. You will say goodbye to people. I hope you have a good week. You know, that's what Paul is doing here. Even though he had harsh words for the church at Corinth, he wants to leave them on a good note. He wants to enter on a good note and leave them on a good note. All right. Look at 1 Thessalonians chapter number 5, verse number 18. Here's another one. Send thank you notes. That's another good communication. I can't stand thank you notes. I'm glad that I'm married. And all the guys that are sitting here that are married are thinking the same thing. Like it's so tedious and difficult for me. It would be so difficult for me to do this myself. It's not that I'm not thankful, but I'm glad that I'm married. I'm glad I have a wife that thinks about these things. And look, I write in the thank you notes and I sign them and all that, but I just, you know, it's something that I would miss if I wasn't married. The Bible says in everything, in verse 18, 1 Thessalonians chapter 5, in everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Let me tell you something about thank you notes, guys. Single guys, ladies, modern people, Gen Z, whatever. If you don't send thank you notes, people will be offended. There are people out there that expect thank you notes, and if you do not send thank you notes for formal events and things like that, you will offend people. Because people will be like, oh, they're just thinking about themselves and they just wanted to get gifts or whatever it is, and look, you're just going to, it's, it's rude manners and people, especially, you know, people outside of Gen Z, they expect it. I believe that's something that is a formality, but I believe it's a good formality. I believe it's something that we should do, alright? So look, kids need to be taught this stuff as well. Kids need to be taught to say please, kids need to be taught to, you know, say thank you, kids should be taught to greet people. They need to be taught this. Kids need to be taught to shake hands and how a man should shake hands, and I love seeing, you know, the little boys as they grow up learn how to, you know, shake hands with guys or whatever, you know, and you get a little two-year-old that comes up and he, like, hands you the wrong hand and, you know, the guys kind of correct them and his dad corrects them and all those things. That's great. Kids need to be taught those things. They need to be taught greetings, salutations, thank yous, all of these things, alright? Here's another one, introducing yourself to people that you don't know. This is something that a lot of people don't do. I mean, I'm surprised how many people don't do this, actually, and I think people are sometimes embarrassed that they don't know somebody's name, maybe, look, you just got to get past that. As a pastor, I go to other churches and things like that, and I know I've met these people before, but I just ask them again. I'm just like, I forgot your name, brother, I know, I'm sorry, I know I've met you before, you know, and just introduce yourself, you know, introduce yourself, get people's names, and, you know, try to remember people's names. You know, that's something that you're like, oh, I'm bad at that. Everybody's bad at it. Everybody's bad at remembering people's names. So just try to get better at it. Try to remember people's names. Turn to Proverbs chapter 29, Proverbs chapter number 29. So look, just being polite, greeting people, salutations, thank yous, formal thank yous, these are all very important things that, you know, will affect how people think about you, and they will affect how other people feel. Look at Proverbs chapter 29, look at verse number 11. Here's a big one. Here's a big one, and I consider this corrupt communication, all right? Look at Proverbs 29 and verse number 11. Proverbs 29 verse number 11, the Bible says, a fool uttereth all his mind, but a wise man keepeth it in until afterwards. Here's another one, asking inappropriate questions to people. Asking inappropriate questions to people, look, that's corrupt communication. That is something that will upset people. I'm going to give you an example. Well, first of all, there's many different things that you should not ask people, right? You should not ask people, look, if you see somebody, a visitor, somebody that comes to the church, you see somebody that you don't know, maybe a couple comes here, you should not ask people, like, why don't you have kids? You should not ask people, like, why they don't have kids, why they don't have more kids. Look, folks, some people have zero kids, some people have 11 kids, some people have 12 kids, whatever, okay? That is not any of your business, and that is a question that will make people very anxious that you ask, because many times there's, like, serious things that are going on in people's lives that are none of your business on why they have kids or why they don't have kids. And look, if you ask somebody, like, why don't you have more kids, like, what in the world? Like, somebody that has six kids is not better than somebody that has two kids, okay? I mean, God gives some people one, some people eight, whatever, I mean, it's just, you know, it's not something where, it's not a competition, okay? But it's not something that's really any of your business, so basically if it's not your business, don't ask. And Proverbs 29 and 11 is saying, everything that comes into your mind you don't have to say. And that's, like, a lot of people just don't have a filter, they're like, oh, I just, I'm wondering this, I must say it. Look, you're going to be considered a rude person if you do that. You should not ask anybody anything to do with finances at all. I remember I was on a softball team many, many years ago, and I was playing softball with this farmer and I didn't really know this farmer, and I asked this, it became a joke between this guy and I for years, but it was my mistake, and I asked this farmer who was on my softball team, I liked him, he liked me, and I asked him, like, the second time I met him, you know, he told me he was a farmer, and I was like, oh, how many acres do you farm? And I was basically, you know what he said to me? He turned around to me and he said, how much money do you make? Like right away, he just came back with that quick response, and right away I knew, like, oh, I'm an idiot, and I was like, yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't think about it that way. So every time I saw this guy for the next 10, 12 years, he'd be like, hey Jared, how much money do you make? And I was like, how many acres do you farm again? And just never, like, you know, he never let it go, and we just kind of, it became this joke between the two of us, but look, I shouldn't have asked him that. That was something about his personal finances, none of my business, I shouldn't have asked him that, right? But see, people are like, people, they don't read Proverbs, they don't apply Proverbs 29, 11, and they think something in their mind, and they're like, I just want to know. I want to know how many acres that guy farms. And they just, like, there's no filter, there's nothing to stop their mind from getting to their mouth, and they just say it, and they end up asking inappropriate questions. It's none of your business. If it's none of your business, leave it alone, because people are going to think that you're rude. And you know what? If you ask inappropriate questions to people, and you're one of these people that is constantly just prying into things and asking people things that they don't want to be asked, guess what? People are going to avoid you. People are not going to want to be around you, because they're going to feel like, man, I just have to have a defensive answer ready at all times for this person, because they're just going to keep asking me things that I don't want to, you know, it's none of their business. And look, folks, if somebody asks you something inappropriate, that's not your fault on the other side of that. If somebody asks you something inappropriate, like, as a pastor, I get asked inappropriate things many times, and I just don't tell people. I'm just not telling people. People are like, you know, how much was that, or whatever. I'm just not responding to questions that, you know, because there were some people in our church that aren't here anymore that would pop up with these inappropriate questions all the time, and I was like, why do you keep asking me these inappropriate questions? But it's not something you have to answer. So don't feel pressured to answer things that are inappropriate that are none of people's business. But the point is, look at Proverbs chapter 10 and verse number 19. Here's another one. Let other people speak. And this kind of goes back to that, you know, how to have a conversation and how to listen to people, but let other people speak. That's good communication. That's good communication. Being in a conversation with five people and letting other people speak, number one, it's easy. It's really easy to just let other people speak. And if you are somebody, if you're somebody that needs to be talking all the time, you're showing people that you do not have a heart for other people. Like I enjoy listening to other people speak, because that, look, that's how you learn stuff, by listening to other people. By listening to what, you know, brother so and so did this week, or whatever, and, you know, the skills that he has versus mine, you learn things that way. You learn things by letting other people speak. Look at verse number 19 of Proverbs chapter number 10. Proverbs chapter number 10, verse number 19. The Bible says, in the multitude of words, there wanteth not sin, but he that refraineth his lips is wise. You know what the Bible is saying here? The Bible is saying that it's safer to say less. There's safety in saying nothing. I've used this example before, but I've been in so many situations where you're in a room full of people, and we're talking about something highly complicated and technical. In a room full of 10, 10 men, and maybe there's a CEO or a high level person there, there's always going to be two or three people in that room that want to just shout out answers and be the first one to say anything. What I've learned is if you don't know the exact answer, you shut up. You say less. Why? Because there's safety there. That way, you become known as the person that when you do talk, it's going to be the correct answer. When you do talk, it's something that's wise. All right? Look, it's always safer to say less, and it's better. If you say less, if you can sit in a group of people and just ... That's why all these people that have these successful podcasts are so successful, because they're really good at listening to people. They're good at listening to people, and they're good at getting information out of people. They're good at asking certain questions to get people to talk about themselves. It's not about what they know, because they don't really know anything. They're just good at getting interesting people to say interesting things. They're good at listening. They're good at conversation. All right? If you want to be good at conversation, ask questions and listen. That's how you be good at conversation. That's good communication. You can have good communication by saying very little. Here's another one. Don't make fun of people. That's corrupt communication. If you are in a group of people having a conversation, you should not ... Look, if you're in a group of people, whether it's a group of guys or a group of ladies, and you make a joke, look, be funny. I love funny people, and everybody wants to be around funny people. This is the temptation, though, is people will use someone in the group as a butt of a joke, to be part of a joke. You should never be building up yourself at the expense of others, because this is the opposite of thinking about other people. If you're in a group of people, and you're using maybe an unfortunate thing that happened to somebody that week, or that they were talking about, and you use that to make fun of them, maybe people laugh. Maybe you're a really funny person, and people laugh. You are building up yourself at the expense of other people. It is extremely rude. Is extremely rude. By the way, you should never do that. Look, be funny. Be funny. Laugh at situations. Laugh at situations that are going on in the world, or going on anywhere, but just don't make people, even people that aren't there, subjects of a joke. Here's another thing. You should not be self-deprecating either. That's going to do you no favors in life. If you're just this person that you're like, okay, I'll just joke about myself. You should not be this person that is constantly tearing yourself down. That's not going to do you any favors. Be funny. Be funny about situations. Be funny about events in the world, or whatever. Many people are very funny, but don't be funny at the expense of other people. Everybody pokes fun at themselves a little bit, but it's really not going to do you any favors if you're just known as this person that's always putting yourself down. That gets to be a little strange. On the other side of that, look at Proverbs chapter 27, and look at verse number 2. The other side of that is, here's corrupt communication. Don't boast about things. Don't boast about yourself. This is a tough one for people. Everybody struggles with this to a certain degree. If you do something that's worthy, if you do something that's awesome, or whatever, you want people to know. You want people to know that you did this great thing. Look at Proverbs 27 and verse number 2. The Bible says, let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth, a stranger, and not thine own lips. Here's the thing. If you're really good at something, and you do great things, people know, because other people will notice, and other people will mention it. I notice that all the time. People are good at things. People that help out at the church, all these things. Look, people are going to talk about those things. Look, Moses fixed the fridge yesterday. I'm just going to throw this into the sermon, okay, brother? He fixed the fridge. He's really good at that stuff. But he shouldn't be standing up here, and I have an announcement. I fixed the fridge. No, I'm praising him for it though. People know that he's good at his job. People know that he's got some good skills, and that he ... Look, he uses those skills to help the church on many occasions now, and that's a good thing, but it should not be praising yourself, and he doesn't do that. I'm just using it as an example, but look, people will know, and other people will praise you. It's an exercise in humility, just being good at things, and having that sense to not praise yourself. Okay, now, hopefully I've given you some examples and convinced you a little bit, some areas on speaking with good manners and also acting with good manners, but I want to give you one final major reason why a Christian should have good manners. I can just keep going through example after example after example, but turn to 1 Peter chapter number three. You say, ah, these are just social things, and I got enough friends, whatever. It doesn't matter to me. I don't need to change anything that I'm doing, but let me give you a large reason, probably the largest reason as a Christian that you should strive to have good manners. Turn to 1 Peter chapter number three. See, manners, etiquette even, people just completely dismiss today. People think ... They have this really weird attitude like, you know what? It's my right. It's my right to be a slob. It's my right to say what I want, and it's my right to act how I want, and they wear it like some badge of honor, and freedom, right? They think that they just have the freedom to act and say whatever they want, but then they don't like the consequences that come from it. That's the problem. The first two, what were the first two reasons that I gave you? The first two was it's thinking of other people. That's the first reason. The second reason is it benefits you. It benefits you in the way people look at you. Look at 1 Peter chapter three, and let me give you one final Christian specific reason that you should have good manners, that you should strive to be someone that people look at as polite and well-mannered. Look at 1 Peter chapter three verse 15. The Bible says, but sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and be ready always to give you an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear. Let me ask you a question. I understand that we go out and we do confrontational soul-winning. It's not like we're being confrontational, but we're going to someone's door that doesn't know us, and we are specifically asking them a question on whether they would like to hear the gospel or not. All right, but look, there is another way where people get saved. There's another way where I've gotten several people saved. I know several of you in the church have gotten several people saved like this, and it's because you are living a life that people are noticing, and they are literally coming to you, and they are asking you, what is it? What is the reason for the hope that is in you? I remember there was a story of a soldier that was in this terrible, fierce battle, and it was this American soldier, and he happened to be a Christian, and the next day, he gives a testimony where several other soldiers in his unit came up to him and said, they literally asked him the reason. There's like, something was different about you yesterday. We were all terrified and scared for our lives, but you, something was different about you yesterday. What is it that was different about you? And then, of course, he preached to them Jesus Christ. But what happened? They asked for the reason. They asked for the reason. If no one has ever observed your life, your mannerisms, and come up to you and ask you a reason of the hope that is in you, you should evaluate that. Because what they are saying when they come up to you and ask you the reason, you know what they're saying? They're saying, I want to be like you. They're saying, I want to have a family like yours. I want to not have the things going on in my life that you apparently don't seem to be have going on in your life. But look, if you are not polite, and you are someone that doesn't have good manners, they will never ask you anything. Turn to 2 Corinthians 5. It is important for a Christian because it will matter how effective you are for your fruitfulness as a Christian in this life. 2 Corinthians 5, look at verse number 11. Here's what we're doing, folks. Here's what we're doing. Look, we all go out soul winning, and we all put on a good face. I hope you do. I hope if you're having a bad day and you go out soul winning, you still put on a polite face, and you still have good manners. Look, I've met rude soul winners, but that's not us. That's not us here. You go out there, and if you're rude at the door, and people don't agree with you, and you just want to argue with people, and you're wrong, look, you're not going to be an effective soul winner. We don't want that kind of soul winners here anyway. But look what we're doing here in verse number 11. It says, knowing therefore the terror of the Lord, we persuade men. Persuade them. Look, turn to Matthew 27. Persuade them of what? Persuade them of what? Yes, the gospel. That's one thing. But look at Matthew 27 and verse number 19. Matthew 27 and verse number 19. This is a great commission right here. Go ye therefore and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. We go out and we teach them what? We teach them the gospel, and then we get them baptized. And then verse 20, teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you. Then we teach them how to live by the Word of God. And if you're some pompous, rude jerk, nobody is going to want to ask you anything or live or enter into whatever it is that you are into. If you're some just this arrogant, rude jerk producing children that are arrogant, rude jerks, because that what will happen is they will just follow you in the exact same thing, look, no one's going to want to be that. No one's going to, there's, look folks, there's lots of nice people out there that aren't saved. You say, what makes them nice? What makes them nice is that they have manners. Is that they act and speak in a specific way. Go to Romans chapter 14, we'll end here. Today the Christians should look and act different. So you have to ask yourself, would people want to be you? Would people want to trade their life for the life that you are living? Having good manners is going to help you persuade men in this life. But if we're just these angry, rude people with no manners, no one's going to want to be like us. No one's going to want that because you run into somebody, you're this, you're this rude person with no manners and you're going to run into somebody who's unsaved that has manners. And they're going to look at you, they're going to be like, you're rude. I don't want that. Whatever it is you're into, no thanks. That's not persuasive, folks. Look at Romans chapter 14, verse number three, and this is talking about a very specific standard, but there's a statement here that I want to get across. It's talking about offending your brother with a standard, right? It says in verse 15, but if thy brother be grieved with thy meat, now walkest thou not charitably, destroy him not with thy meat, for whom Christ died. He's just saying people are going to have different standards, don't be shoving your standards in people's face. But look at this statement right here. Let not your good be evil spoken of. So look, what we believe is good. What we believe is true. What we believe is the truth. But we should also follow the other parts of the Bible that says that we should walk decently and in order. Things should be decently and in order. We should be thinking about other people in the things that we say, in the things that we do. So our good is not evil spoken of. So even though we may have the right doctrine, people don't look at us and be like, yeah, whatever that doctrine, they're asking me to change and believe. I don't want any part of it if it makes me someone like them. If it turns me into this rude person. Let not our good be evil spoken of. Because look, ultimately our manners will affect our fruitfulness as Christians. And that's the main reason that we should have good manners. Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer.