(Disclaimer: This transcript is auto-generated and may contain mistakes.)

Hey man, it's good to be here, thank you for having me, it's always special for me to be here. I saw in the, you all saw in the bulletin that you're going to have to listen to me three times in a row, so you poor people, I'll do the best that I can. Pastor Anderson called me, I can't even remember what day it was at this point, but he called me and he's like, I know it's short notice and you're busy and everything and I'm thinking in my head, I'm like yeah, it's short notice and I'm busy, but I wouldn't even be saved if it wasn't for this ministry, so you know, I guess I'll squeeze it in, you know. So anyway, thank you for inviting me, of course I'll be here Wednesday as well. Pastor Anderson did say thanks for borrowing your pastor to all the churches, he's going to be at Hold Fast Baptist on Wednesday in a few days. I actually have to go back tonight, so Pastor Anderson said that I basically have to say amen and then sprint out the door in order to get to the airport, so if I'm not here to talk to you after service this evening, you know, that's why, but I'm sure I'll get to talk to everybody, looking forward to lots of familiar faces, I'm looking forward to seeing everybody, lots of familiar faces, I just saw a couple days ago at the Red Hot, so excited to visit with you all and I'll do the best that I can to edify you for the next three services, I'm excited about it. This morning we're going to look at 2 Corinthians chapter 7 in a few minutes, so you're going to keep your place there and we're going to go to some other places, I'm going to do kind of a long intro this morning, kind of going through some simple doctrine and then I'll get to the point of the sermon, turn to Mark chapter 11, you're going to keep your place in 2 Corinthians chapter number 7 and turn to Mark chapter 11, I want to talk for a few minutes about forgiveness, about this idea of forgiveness and what the Bible says about us and how we should forgive, look at Mark chapter 11, look at verse number 25 of Mark chapter 11, so this is just introduction and before we get to the sermon itself, Mark chapter 11, look at verse number 25, the Bible says, and when you stand praying, forgive, if you have ought against any that your father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses, verse 26, but if you do not forgive, neither will your father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses, so we're going to kind of look at a very broad methodology that is just brought up in the Bible over and over again, this is kind of the start of it right here, first of all a lot of people that teach workspace salvation really just like tear up these verses right here, this is talking about being a forgiving person and people will say oh you see if you don't forgive someone that God won't forgive you like you lose your salvation or something like that, that would be a terrible mindset to have looking at these verses, but you know if you talk to Pentecostals and things like that, I'm a little over the top on Pentecostals I'm trying not to bring them up so much, but the Bible is basically saying that how we forgive other people affects whether or not God will forgive us, talking about our relationship with our Heavenly Father who has adopted us is what it's talking about, it has nothing to do with your salvation, it's talking about a good relationship, turn to Ephesians 4, Ephesians chapter 4, I'll give you another verse here, there's many verses on this, but I just kind of want to drive this point home before we get into the sermon this morning, Ephesians chapter 4 verse number 32 the Bible says this, it says and be kind, I mean the Bible kind of explains it in Ephesians chapter 4 like why we should be so forgiving and be kind to one to another, tender hearted, verse 32, what? Forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you, now that's talking about your salvation right there, it's saying look you know while you were yet sinners Christ died for you, so you know could you at least forgive your brother, could you at least get along, you know God is kind of lecturing us here and telling us how we should you know have that forgiving attitude towards our neighbors, our brothers and sisters, you know just like look at what God did for you, it's kind of making that comparison, go to Matthew chapter 6, Matthew chapter 6, Matthew chapter 6 and look at verse 15, again the Bible says in Matthew chapter 6 in verse number, I just want to point out how common this is in the Bible, this is really every Christian once they're past the baby Christian part of their life should have this, this is God towards us, this is how God wants us to act because this is his attitude towards us, it's a very simple philosophy that God is pointing out to us here, it says but if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your father forgive your trespasses, again talking about being right with God here, it's saying you know it's not like you get mad at somebody, you hold a grudge and then you lose your salvation, this is just talking about you know having a right relationship with God, so you're supposed to forgive people, that's the first thing, you say okay but what if somebody, what if somebody keeps offending me, what if somebody keeps offending me like they don't get right, they keep doing things again and again to me like you just have like this friend or this brother or this neighbor or whatever, there's just a serial offender against me, you know they keep borrowing money from me and you know they keep saying, they keep saying things to me that offend me again and again, what do I, what do I do then, they keep you know here's one, this is like a pet peeve that offends me like I'm overly offended by this, people that are late, I don't know it's just a thing for me, like people that are late like it's just like if you're late it's offensive to some people because like basically what you're saying is, is that the thing that you're going to is just like you just don't care about that thing, that's what you're doing when you're late to all these people, to me it's like when people are late, I mean look at all the, how many devices do we have today that make you not late, I mean seriously it's like automatic, I mean it's like you literally don't want to fix the problem, but the Bible is saying look people that are late they're serial offenders, that's why I bring up this one thing, they're late to one thing, they're late to everything, they're always late, everybody knows they're late, they just can't show up on time to anything, here's a side one for the young people, don't ever be late to a job interview, you're like does that happen, yes it happens all the time, you would be shocked, don't show up late to a job interview and don't show up in your pajamas, there's two free lessons for you today, if you do those two things, I don't care if it is a job interview at McDonald's, wear a tie and show up early, because if you're not early you're late, now I turn to Matthew chapter 18, so what if somebody, back to the point, back to the point, what if somebody's just a serial offender against me, well Jesus you know addresses this, he addresses this with Peter, look at Matthew 18, look at verse number 21, like somebody just keeps, I borrow this person money and they just keep never paying me back, it's just constant, I know that they're going to do it, what do I do, look at verse 21, then Peter came to him and said Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him, till seven times, I'm assuming he's talking about, Luke 17 talks about if someone sins against you seven times in a day, I met a Pentecostal woman that said one time I'm saved as long as I don't sin seven times in a day, talk about a gross misinterpretation of scripture that's going to ruin your life, I mean at least make it more, you know, but anyway Peter's kind of asking like how often do I have to forgive him, like seven times and then Jesus sayeth unto him, I sinned unto thee seven times but until seventy times seven, you know people are like okay 490 times I'm going to start keeping track, what Jesus is saying is like just keep forgiving people, is what he's saying, I mean this is pretty easy to understand, it's a direct question and a direct answer, you got to really look at those great things that Jesus says, he just kind of like where he tells us that few will be saved, those direct answers from Jesus are just great, so the point is forgiveness, here's what I'm trying to get you to understand this morning, forgiveness doesn't depend on the other person, forgiveness depends on you, I mean we're talking about, and here's a disclaimer, I'll give a disclaimer before we get into the sermon, we're talking about relationships with our brothers, with our neighbors, you know we're not talking about, when I talk about forgiveness we are commanded to forgive those whom God would forgive, so that's the disclaimer for the sermon, we're not going to be forgiving reprobates and forgiving people that are literal enemies of God, that's not what the Bible teaches anywhere, and you look, I don't teach the, turn to Romans chapter 12, here's the answer for that, here's the answer for that, out soul winning you will see this, and if you're a soul winner you've seen it and you will see it, you will see it every time you go out soul winning, but you will see it on a periodic basis, you will find people that have had run-ins with reprobates or someone in their family has been hurt by some evil, wicked reprobate, and it is a stumbling block to salvation for them, you're saying that I can just trust on Jesus and, see what they do is they think, you're saying anybody can just trust on Jesus and they'll go to heaven and they think of the wicked reprobate that hurt their child or their nephew or whatever, I don't preach the reprobate doctrine out soul winning in a regular case, but in that case I will, in that case I will, why? Because it's necessary to preach that to remove that stumbling block from that person, so they understand who God is, and then, once that stumbling, they're like, oh yeah they get it, right? Didn't Jeffrey Dahmer accept Jesus? No he didn't. No he didn't. Look at Romans chapter 12, and Romans chapter 12 verse 19 takes care of those people, so we don't have to worry about forgiveness in those cases, all we have to do is trust the Lord. Look, dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath, for it is written vengeance is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord. God's got that. That's what we need to teach those people. So that's just a disclaimer on forgiveness this morning. Now back to the sermon, back to the introduction to the sermon, again, forgiveness is a, turn to James chapter 2, forgiveness is a one way street. Forgiveness is something that, whether you forgive someone or not, is something that you control, not anyone else. You completely control it, and look, that's good news. That's good news because whether or not you forgive somebody has a direct effect on how good your relationship with God is. What does that mean? That means that nobody else can destroy my relationship with God except this guy. That's pretty good news this morning. Put simpler, put in a better way, a more concise way, if you look down at James chapter 2, look at verse 13, no one except you can ruin your relationship with the Lord. Think about that. If you withhold forgiveness from people, it damages your relationship with the Lord. If you forgive people, it improves your relationship with the Lord. This is simple. A better way of putting it, look at verse 13, James chapter 2, for he shall have judgment without mercy that hath showed no mercy, and mercy rejoiceth against judgment. The Bible says in Hebrews 12, 6, the Lord loveth, whom the Lord loveth, he chasteneth. So the Bible here is saying is that if you are merciful towards people, God will be merciful towards you. What does that mean? He'll be more lenient to you. He'll literally grant you more leniency. Isn't that true of a parent? Isn't there situations where you come down hard on your children and situations where maybe you're more lenient in those cases? Doesn't it have to do with how they have been in the past? A parent, just as God, can be more lenient with us or more strict with us, with the chastening that he will deal. Look, turn to Ephesians 4. If you are an unmerciful person with your brothers, with your neighbors, God will be unmerciful towards us. That's not a place I want to be. That's an important prerequisite to the sermon this morning. If you're just this person that's like, hey, somebody does me wrong, they're going to pay. That's somebody that just has no mercy. If you do the Lord wrong, which you do every single day, you're going to pay. This is like a wife that is mad at her husband and doesn't talk to him for days. That's no mercy. That's not forgiveness. Look at Ephesians 4. Look at verse number 26. This is a man that struggles, and look, men will struggle with this, this is a man that holds a grudge right here. Your mercy that you will receive from the Lord depends on you getting that right, getting that fixed. Look at Ephesians 4.26. The Bible says, be ye angry and sin not. Let not the sun go down upon your wrath. It doesn't say, look, here's the thing, I haven't listened to my red hot sermon, but a couple people said to me today, man, you really got upset this morning. I don't have an anger problem, but if you don't get angry at things, you are not a man. If you're this kind of person that just nothing makes you angry, you are not a man. That's the problem with this country, there's no men. This is the problem, you think we'd be where we are today, if men got angry, no way. I'm getting angry now, so. Anger's not bad, but don't sin while you get angry. That's what the Bible is saying here. It says, be angry, hey, there's things that are going to make you angry. The wicked should make you angry. Haters of God should make you angry. Things that are going on in this country should make you angry, but sin not. And if you're angry with somebody, get it taken care of that day. Let not the sun go down upon it. You want to have a good relationship with your wife, a good relationship with your husband, get it taken care of. Work it out, don't let it hang for days and days and days. But if we are unforgiving people, we are unmerciful people, that's not someone somewhere that we want to go because we will receive no mercy from the Lord. So the conclusion of the intro is this, it's a simple one, is that our reaction to and forgiveness to other people can improve or damage our relationship with our Heavenly Father. All right, now, what's the sermon about this morning? You say, someone did me wrong, I forgave, I let it go, I'm good at this, pastor, I don't even think I need to hear this message. Well here's what you need to understand. Just because somebody did you wrong and you forgave, and maybe they do you wrong again and again and again, and you are really good at being merciful and really good at forgiving, that doesn't mean that that relationship is whole. And that's what we're going to talk about this morning. You say someone just ripped me off, they said that they would do one thing and they didn't do it. You say, I had some guy from church, I just made this up, so if this has happened, I'm sorry. I had a guy, a brother, remodel my kitchen and he said he was going to do it one way and he just didn't do it the other way, and whatever. I first Corinthians 6 that thing, I took the loss, I suffered myself to be defrauded, and I truly did. And I truly did. I let the money go, I had somebody else come in and fix all the stuff the way it was supposed to be fixed, and I just really let it go. I did my job, according to the sermon this morning, that doesn't mean I'm going to hire that person to remodel my bathroom. Certain people, you will find that you need, it doesn't mean that if I borrow money to somebody and they never pay me back, then who's going to keep borrowing money to somebody? It doesn't mean that that relationship will be whole, even if I've done my job. As a matter of fact, especially with our brothers and sisters in Christ, you will find that with some people, you probably have to set some boundaries. In order to what? In order to protect what remaineth of that relationship, in order to make sure that there doesn't become bitterness or a grudge that sets in to protect yourself, to protect against future confrontation. Okay, I forgave him, but I just don't invite him over anymore because half the time he doesn't show up. You don't show up, they've spent hundreds of dollars on you, and food's expensive today. They've spent hundreds of dollars on you, and you're just like, what kind of etiquette is that? Well, first of all, common courtesy is not common anymore. That's another free tip. We need to teach our kids common courtesy. We need to teach our kids, I don't care what is accepted today or not, we need to teach our boys when they see a door, they open it for a lady. We need to teach our kids when they go over to somebody's house and they put down a bunch of stuff in front of them that does not look like it's good to eat, you eat every bit of it and don't say a thing. I would have been killed if I went somewhere and ate, and somebody put a plate of food in front of me and I was like, I don't like that. I would have never done that. I would not be standing here today. We need to teach our kids to greet people. We need to teach our young men to walk up to a man and shake his hand and look him in the eye, and not talk to people by staring at your shoes. We need to teach these things because they're not common anymore. They're not going to learn these things from other people that they meet because these things are going away. The point is, back to the sermon, that the one-way street is necessary for our relationship with the Lord, but if you want to have a complete relationship with your brothers and sisters in Christ, a good, powerful relationship, this one-way street thing doesn't work well with a marriage because you can't just say, okay, every time I talk to my wife she offends me so I'm going to stop talking to her. That's an extreme example, but you see where I'm going. Relationships can get damaged and damaged and damaged over time. For that matter, relationships with close friends, you're just not going to be closer friends if you have to keep setting these boundaries with people. You say, I want good friends and I want a great marriage. That should be what we all want right there. So here's what you need to learn to do in your life. You need to learn to say, I'm sorry. Say, wow, what in the world? How many people in this room, I'm going to take a poll, how many people in this room know people or know someone that either will never say they're sorry or has an extremely difficult time saying that they are sorry? Raise your hand. Look around. It's difficult for people to say, I'm sorry. But if you cannot say, I'm sorry, that's what second Corinthians chapter seven, you see that word come up again and again, sorry, sorry, sorrow. Sorrow means that you are sorry. This is a major problem for people. Turn to Proverbs chapter 16 and that's the title of the sermon this morning. I'm sorry. You say, why? Why is it so hard for people? Let's look at why first. Let's look at why it's so hard for people to say, I'm sorry. This one might be harder for men. You know, I don't know that for a fact, but maybe I know more men that have a problem with it than women, but I know more men anyway. So anyway, it's hard. It's hard for some people. Like, I literally know certain people that people will tell you I've never heard them say sorry. They've never apologized for anything ever. There's two reasons for it. The first one is this. Look at Proverbs 16 and verse number 18. The first one is pride. The first one is pride. Look at the causes of the problem and then we'll look at how to fix the problem. Look at verse number 18, it says, pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. You say, destruction of what? Everything. Pride destroys everything. In the case that we're talking about this morning, it's going to destroy your friends. It's going to destroy your marriage. In the case of never being able to say, I'm sorry. Look at first John chapter one and verse number nine. First John chapter one, verse number nine. It's a hard thing for people to do. It's a hard thing for a prideful person to say, I was wrong. I am sorry about that. That's a hard thing. Pride puts you in a really weird place. Look at first John chapter one, look at verse number nine. The Bible says, if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Go to James chapter five and verse number 16. Notice how it says, confess. That's talking about you with God, but it's saying, you know what, you should say it. It's talking about you should say that you've done these things, you should say you're sorry. It's important you should confess them. James five, 16. This one is really twisted into some weird stuff today too, but look at James chapter five and verse number 16. The Bible says, confess your faults one to another and pray one for another that you may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. That doesn't mean like, hey, go after church today and tell everybody in the church every sin that you've ever done. That's not what that means. It doesn't mean like, you know, let's have a sin competition after church. What that is saying is confess your faults one to another, meaning the faults that you've done to somebody. Like I, brother, I faulted you. That's what that's saying. It's saying you faulted someone, go and tell them that you're sorry that you did it. That's summed up right there. Doesn't mean you have to go talk to a priest. It doesn't mean that, you know, you have to just get into all this weird stuff. It's just talking about confessing, saying to the person that you faulted that you were acknowledging that. That's what I'm sorry does. It acknowledges that what? That fault. Why? Why should you do that? That you may be healed. That that relationship might be healed between you and that brother, you and your spouse, you and your wife, you and your husband, whatever. It really boils down to that. Look at Isaiah chapter one. Go to Isaiah chapter one. I mean this is, Isaiah chapter one kind of shows us the seriousness of not doing this. But look, it comes from pride. That's the first thing. That's the first place it comes from. Pride will cause you a lot of problems in your life. This is just one of them. One of them. Look at verse fifteen. Bible says, and when you spread forth your hands, I will hide mine eyes from you. I'm sorry, Isaiah chapter one and verse number fifteen. And when you spread forth your hands, I will hide mine eyes from you. Yea, when you make many prayers, I will not hear. Your hands are full of blood. This sounds like a place we don't want to be with the Lord. Where he's not hearing our prayers. Where he's hiding his eyes from us. It kind of sounds like we've gone down that road I was talking about a few minutes ago. It says, wash you, make you clean, put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes, cease to do evil, learn to do well, seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, there's that mercy, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow. Come now and let us reason together, saith the Lord. Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow. Though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. If what? It's got a condition. Look at this. If you be willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land. The land always came with, always came with a condition. But if you refuse and rebel, this is really the point I'm trying to get at right here is verse number 20. It says, if you refuse and rebel, you shall be devoured with the sword, for the mouth of the Lord has spoken it. Not confessing, not confessing to the wrong that you've done. God is looking at that as rebellion. Rebellion is as witchcraft, the Bible says. So if you are this type of person that is so prideful that you can't admit that you've done wrong, God looks at that as rebellion. That's serious. That's very serious. It all boils down to this. Someone who could not say they are sorry is a very prideful person and they will destroy the relationships around them. I mean, ultimately they're showing that they just can't be trusted in that area, in this area, in this area, in that area. Even if that person forgives them as they should. Why? Because, I mean, obviously if I'm doing something, I'm borrowing something and I'm just being defrauded again and again, that person can't be trusted. Why? Because they don't say they're sorry. That tells me that I don't need that to beat them down, it just tells me that they don't even know that they did wrong. And it's just going to happen to me, again, would that be responsible of me as someone that provides for my family to just be constantly giving hundreds of dollars to someone who just never like pays it back and I'm sorry kids you can't eat because I'm keeping borrowing money to someone that can't be trusted. It's a problem. Those boundaries need to be set. They're saying they'll do it again is what they're saying by not saying I'm sorry. I mean you could be someone, think about a husband and a wife. Think about a husband and a wife in a marriage. You say, someone that can't say sorry in a marriage will slowly destroy their relationship. You're like I will never get divorced. I will stay married until the day that I die and I'm just this, I'm a man of my word and I will never ever get divorced and maybe you're a woman that says the same thing and maybe that's the case and God help you that that's the case but that doesn't mean that you'll have a good relationship. You know a marriage can be in my opinion the greatest blessing that you will receive on this earth, a marriage and children but that relationship needs to be protected. That relationship needs to be protected from these types of things, these little things that chip away at it over 10 years, over 15 years, over 20 years. You see somebody that is divorced after 20 years or divorced after 15 years. I was a young man and I used to drive to work with this man that was about 15 years older than me. He ended up getting a divorce after about 15 years of marriage and I remember thinking to myself, oh my goodness, when am I in the clear on this thing? The point is that that problem didn't start in that 15th year. They slowly whittled away the relationship until both of them or one of them decided to be divorced which is wrong all the time but it doesn't guarantee just because you will never get divorced doesn't guarantee, you're not guaranteed a great relationship with your wife or with your husband. Your goal should be to have a better relationship with your wife every single day. That's a good goal for a married man and vice versa. Turn to 2 Samuel chapter 6. Actually don't turn there but I mean just 2 Samuel chapter 6, I mean we see the story of Michael and David. Actually go ahead and turn there. Let's go there. Look at 2 Samuel chapter 6. Look at 2 Samuel chapter 6. Just because you're married doesn't mean you're going to have a great relationship for the rest of your life. Look at 2 Samuel chapter 6. Look at verse number 20. 2 Samuel 6 verse number 20. The Bible says David returned to bless his household and Michael the daughter of Saul came out to meet David. He was dancing and coming back in with the ark and his wife was jealous and she didn't like what he was doing and she says to him, she says, how glorious was the king of Israel today who uncovered himself today in the eyes of the handmaidens of his servants and one of the vain fellows shamelessly, as one of the vain fellows that shamelessly uncovereth himself. She's upset that he was dancing and flaunting himself in front of other women and you know you could say, you could make, she was right to be upset if her husband was doing that. I mean I'm not even faulting her for what she said but it just starts this war here between these two in the next couple verses. Instead of just being like, sorry about that, he's just like, he's just like just gonna come over the top and just like burn her to the ground, right? Look at this in verse 21. He says David said unto Michael, it was before the Lord which chose me before thy father. Look at that. He's like before all his house to appoint me ruler over the people of the Lord over Israel therefore I will play before the Lord and I will be more vile than thus and I will be base in my own sight and of the maidservants which thou hast spoken of, of them shall I behead and honor. And look at what happened to the relationship. Therefore Michael the daughter of Saul had no child unto the day of her death. I mean essentially that was the end of, from what we know, the end of their physical relationship as a husband and a wife. So the person is people, you're not guaranteed to have a great relationship with people in your life especially if you can't say you're sorry because you're prideful, you can't admit to things, you're going to destroy that, you're not going to have good friends, you're not going to have a good marriage even if you stay married. Now turn to 2 Corinthians chapter 7. So pride is the first cause. The second one is worse though. The second reason that people can't say they're sorry, this one is particularly bad. And 2 Corinthians chapter 7 is going to give us some advice on how to fix that. The second reason that people don't, won't, or I don't even want to say can't because everyone can, but the second reason that people won't say they are sorry is because they don't think it was that bad or they tried to downplay what they did. You say why is this one that bad? I'm going to try to explain it to you. I brought an object lesson. This one is particularly bad. People that try to play down sin in their life or try to convince other people that sin is not that bad, especially the sin that they're into or the sin that they did. You need to learn to let go of bad ideas in your life. This is, this is, this should be, I should just preach the sermon on this. As soon as you know something is a bad idea, you need to let go of it. Just get out of it as fast as you possibly can. You'll be better off. The quicker you can do it, you can graph it. The quicker you can do it, the less the consequences will be. You need to get rid of bad ideas in your life as soon as possible. I went toy shopping yesterday. I haven't been toy shopping in like the little kids section for like a long time. Toys are getting weird. I went toy shopping yesterday and I bought, I was looking for the, I was looking for the toy, you know, just the, you know, the box that you buy that's got the shapes. Like the circle goes in the circle and the square goes in the square and all this stuff. I mean, the closest I could find is this thing to demonstrate my point. Can you explain to me, this isn't part of this sermon, can you explain to me what shape that is? What are we trying to teach kids here? There's not even a, I played with this last night for a while in the hotel room and you kind of can flip it around like this. And I'm like, I'm flipping it around and I'm like, there's not even a triangle. I mean, how are you going to learn how to build something if you don't know what a triangle is? All the men are like, yeah. But hanging on to bad ideas, hanging on to bad ideas is like literally, is literally like trying to, you know, it's the, it's the, it's the philosophical, they didn't even have a round peg. It's the philosophical trying to put a round peg in a square hole, trying to hang onto a bad idea, trying to, you know, justify that something wasn't that bad. You're just like, you're trying to cover it up, cover up what you did. You did something wrong. Maybe if I do this, this and this and this, not that many people will know about it. That's what you do. You're just sitting here and you're just trying to like, you're trying to push that round peg into that square hole. That's what you're trying to do. People that, this is why this one is so bad, and you think about somebody that just can't say that they're sorry, they sit here and they can't get the round peg into the square hole, so what do they do? They try to justify the sin, they try to do all these things, and you know, they're stubborn. They can't fit it in there, but you know what they do? They pull out this. And here's the thing, they don't step back, they don't step back and they don't say, hey, you know what? This thing didn't come with a hammer. This is like somebody that you ever buy something used and somebody like you buy a used motor or something. I do that a lot. If someone cross threads a bolt, and they don't cross thread the bolt, they cross thread it all the way in. Like they must have went, and they must have got a pipe, and put a pipe on the wrench, and they cross thread that inch and a half bolt all the way in there, into the head of the motor. I'm like, what are you thinking? You know, I mean, you shouldn't need a pipe to put a head bolt in. But they sit in there and they're like, yeah, you know what, I know this didn't come with a hammer, but if I just knock off some edges here, they're like, well, that still didn't work. They don't think about, you know, the fact that they, why am I using a hammer? Maybe I should step back and think about what I'm doing. And then you get the self-destructive person, right? They're going down with the ship. And what do they do? They don't step back. And they're just like, you know what, and they're like, oh man, what have I done? What shape is that? Oh, sorry. You gotta let go of bad ideas as fast as you possibly can. This is true in so many different areas of your life and it is certainly applicable to hanging onto and defending sin in your life. I've found in my life, just like my work life, just like in the last 20 years, I think that, look, I think that if you're a man and you have a job and you like to have ideas at work and things like this, to myself I've found that about one in ten ideas are good from myself. You're like, what are you, an idiot? No, but I've found that about one, it doesn't mean that all nine were completely bad, but the problem is you think of an idea and then it turns out that it's, oh, it's just too expensive to build. You think of an idea and then you find out, you start putting it together and you realize, okay, the efficiency was about half of what I thought it was. I thought this thing could pay itself back in two years, but the calculations show that it's really not what I thought it was going to be, you just gotta let it go as quick as you can. Why? Because you could just lead yourself down this path of destruction if you just hang onto these bad ideas. It's not, I mean, the trick to be successful in your life is not having ten out of ten good ideas, it's being able to let go of the nine very quickly. That's the key, that's the same thing with sin. You want to be successful in your relationships, you want to be successful in your marriage, you see the sin and look, you read the Bible, you hear the preaching from the Bible, you're good at the Bible, the sin's going to be exceedingly sinful to you. You're going to know it's there. As soon as you see it, you let it go. You get rid of it as fast as possible. You don't hang onto these bad ideas, hanging onto sin is a terrible idea every single time and that's what people that can't say I'm sorry are doing. They are hanging onto ideas and then they try to ram the idea in and try to convince people who they convince, no one. They try to take a bigger hammer and they smash things and they do more damage and more damage and more damage. This is science today, by the way. This is science today. Science today, the perfect example of somebody that just hangs onto a bad idea and then just tries to ram everything into that bad idea is science today. I was just reading some, this is coming, you're going to see this, but I don't know why I pay attention to astronomy and all these different physics and things like that. I just read a paper from Ottawa University the other day that the big bang is like this. The big bang theory, right? The big bang theory that's taught is fact. Science is supposed to be you have an idea, kids listen up, this is science, you have an idea, a hypothesis, and then you do a bunch of experiments and tests and you see if that idea was right and if it's not right you run away from that idea and you go come up with another idea. But instead the big bang theory is perfect for this. What they do is the universe is 13 point something billion years old. This paper that I just read said oh we missed it by 14 billion years, it's 27 billion years old. It's real, it's coming, you're going to see it. You're going to see it, it's coming because they have a space telescope now. They used to have the Hubble space telescope, they used to orbit the earth. They sent another space telescope up like a million miles away from the earth and it orbits the sun, it's called the Webb telescope. Now what they're seeing is they're looking at these universes and they're measuring the light coming back from these universes and they think that they can tell how old the universe is by the red shift and the light. But they're seeing these universes that are only 300 million years away and they look like they should be much, much older. So instead of taking their, instead of stepping back and being like this toy didn't come with a hammer, what do they do? They're like we're going to need some more billions of years. I mean folks, somebody that's like I'm sorry the answer wasn't 14, it's 27, you can't be trusted. And they're going to make the earth older, I haven't read that this is coming, but they're going to do that too. Because like evolution is mathematically impossible, so what do we need? We need some more billions. But what they're doing is they're just, they've got this bad idea and they're going to ram that round peg into that tiny little square hole no matter what. Back to the point of the sermon, saying you're sorry is doing the same thing. Not saying you're sorry is doing the same thing. You're basically saying I'm hanging on to sin, I'm going to justify this sin, I'm not going to admit this sin. It's not even really sin. You shouldn't even be so mad about that, what's the big deal? It's hanging on to a bad idea. Get rid of it as fast as you possibly can. Eventually you hang on to bad ideas, you're going to get burned completely, you're going to be the toy. Because what's going to happen to all your relationships? Turn to 2 Corinthians chapter 7, I think you're there. By the way, this is something that if your kids do, you need to take very seriously. If your kids will not admit something, that is something that I have always taken very seriously. Look, there's times when I come home from work and my wife's like, I won't name names, my kids don't like when I name names, but they're like, so and so did this, and I'm just like, I'm in my mind thinking like, okay, he's going to get spanking, but it's not like the worst thing in the world. He chased the cat with some remote control thing or something. It's like, that's not something that, we don't want that happening, but if kids will not admit to fault, if you know that they did something wrong, and they're trying to cover it by lying or justifying it, that is a serious thing. That is a serious thing that needs to be taken care of when they're five. Because you do not want an adult like that. Because if they do not handle that when they're five, you're going to have an adult that can't have a good relationship in a marriage. This is how serious you need to take these things. Whenever my kids knowingly lied to me, it didn't happen much, because when it happened, I brought the world down on their ears. That's how serious it needs to be taken. Because it's a major character flaw. I'm not saying kids won't do, my kid did it, it's something, no, kids, they all do it. You have to take it very seriously so it doesn't become something they do. Look at 2 Corinthians 7, how do we fix it? Here's the importance of it. 2 Corinthians 7 uses the word sorry several times. Look at verse number 10 of 2 Corinthians 7. The Bible says, for godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation, not to be repented of, but the sorrow of the world worketh death. The answer is really in verse number 11, for behold the self-sane thing that ye sorrowed after a godly sort. That's what we're looking for in our lives. We've messed up and we've done someone wrong, we are looking for that sorrow, we should have sorrow of a godly sort. And then the Bible, being the Bible, gives us great detail on what this godly sorrow actually looks like. I mean, thank God that he is so detailed in the Bible for us. What carefulness, look at these things that he talks about. He says it will make you more careful. If you are somebody that can do something wrong, you know what sin is, you know what sin is and you have the character to not hang on to sin or try to justify that sin. You know the Bible, sin is exceedingly sinful, you know you've done wrong and look, 99% of people when they've messed up, they know they did wrong. Whether they'll say it or not, they know it. And you're someone that can say, hey, I'm letting go of that and you're going to say I'm sorry and I'm godly sorry about it, you're going to be careful next time. You say, why will it rot carefulness in you? Because you know what, going up to somebody and saying I'm sorry is embarrassing. It's embarrassing, we're going to talk a little bit about another word tonight, but it's shameful. It's supposed to be. Why? So you're careful. So you don't keep, somebody that is good at saying I'm sorry is generally somebody who is good at not repeating the same mistake. Because it rots carefulness in you, because saying you're sorry is not fun. Admitting to your husband or admitting to your wife or admitting to your friends, I'm sorry I did that bad horrible thing to you is, it's shameful, it's hard, it's painful to do. This is why people don't do it. But you'll be careful. Look at the next word. It says, what clearing of yourselves. I'm sorry, it clears you. It fixes the relationship. You got the forgiveness on one side and you got the godly sorrow on the other side. It clears it up. This is what needs to happen. And look, the Bible, if you put this together with what we looked at about being angry and sinning not and letting not the sun go down on your wrath, meaning this, all these things should take place in the same day in your marriage. It's just like, I forgive you, I'm sorry, and cleared up within a few hours of the offense. Look at this now. What indignation. This is a personal one, right? What indignation, meaning, I'm upset at myself that I did this. I'm literally angry that I did this. Again, another thing that is going to protect you against going and just repeating that same thing. It says, what indignation, yea, what fear, again, talk about that carefulness, that fear of God, what desire, what vehement desire, that zeal, that effort to prevent future occurrences. And then again, this one here, it says, what revenge, meaning, I'm on the Lord's side and Satan's not going to take me down again. Just this strong feeling of, you know, it's embarrassing to say sorry on purpose. Just mad at yourself and just upset that you got taken down by Satan. Look, then and only then, look at the last part of this, it says, in all things you have approved yourselves to be what? To be clear in this matter. Then and only then will the issue be clear. After this process goes through. Only then will the relationship between the husband and the wife, the person in the church, your neighbor, be completely restored after this happens. I mean, it's a stupid thing. You know you're wrong. We should all practice, the men only, because the women can't speak in church, but let's all practice. One, two, three, I'm sorry. See, was that so bad? God forbid you become a prideful person that starts defending sin in your life. Here's the last one I want to bring up. You should even say sorry to your kids if you have to. You're like, what? I'm a perfect parent. I never make mistakes. Let me ask, I mean, hopefully somebody else has done this. You ever spanked the wrong kid? You ever execute an innocent victim? I haven't done that a bunch, but I have done that. You know what I did after I did that? I said I was sorry. It's possible, even as your kids, most of my kids are getting older now, and here's what's going to happen when your kids get older. They're learning the Bible. They're going to know the Bible really well. Your kids are going to know when you mess up, even before you feel like you have something to apologize for, and you need to get those things right, because this is why the Bible talks about it's possible to provoke your children to wrath. There's no downside to coming to a church like this, but this is something you need to be aware of, is these kids are learning the Bible. When you get in the flesh, and guess what? They're learning the Bible, and they're living with you the whole time. When you get in the flesh, and you do something wrong, or I mess up as a husband, they know it. I don't have to tell them they know it. If something happens where I do something as a father, this happens to me. It happens to all of us. You should get things right with everybody. I'm sorry, kids. I should not have been upset at that. I should not have spanked so-and-so, it was his buddy, or whatever, and just get things right, and just as soon as you know that you've done something wrong, let it go. Clear it up with everybody. Just be like this I'm sorry machine, but then be upset, because you don't want to be this moron that's going around apologizing to everybody every day, either. Have that revenge, that indignation, and you'll get things right, because if you don't ever say you're sorry, folks, you don't ever think that you do wrong, or you don't ever admit wrong, you're going to damage all the relationships in your life, and God forbid, God forbid you damage the relationship with your wife. God forbid you damage the relationship with your kids. It's all possible, though. I'm sorry. It's a powerful thing. Be sorry. Say sorry. Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer. Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you for this great advice in the Bible. I thank you for telling us these things, Lord, even though these things are hard to do. Lord, just help us to understand that we need to read your word. Just keep sin exceedingly sinful in our life, and as soon as we realize, Lord, that we're on the wrong side of that sin, just help us to get that right right away. Apologize. Say the words I'm sorry to those people that we need to say we're sorry to, Lord. I thank you for the marriages in this room. I thank you for our children, Lord. I thank you for these wonderful, the best blessings that you've given us on this earth besides our salvation. I pray that you just help everyone in their heart just protect those relationships. Get rid of our pride, and just help us to understand when we need to be willing to confess our faults one to another. Lord, we love you. We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.