(Disclaimer: This transcript is auto-generated and may contain mistakes.)

this evening Lord your God we thank you so much for every soul that's here we also do pray that you please Lord God just bless every aspect of service please be with the singing unto you Lord your God I pray that you please just bless that and also Lord God I pray that you please just be with our pastor Lord God most importantly helping the Lord God to preach Lord God your word I pray that you please give him the strength and the energy that he needs Lord God as well and I pray that you please Lord God be with us in the congregation help us Lord God to also just be attentive to receive your word with gladness Lord your God and I pray that you please well God just bless us now in Jesus name amen you may be seated song number 327 higher ground as our second song song number 327 pressing on the upper way 327 seen on that first verse Oh Oh Oh Oh all right great singing just a few announcements here before we sing our next song which will be 301 sweet hour of prayer song number 301 if you did not get a bulletin go to raise your hand one of the estrus can get one for you some important information on there of course our Sunday morning service is at 1030 Sunday evening at 5 p.m. and then we have our Thursday night Bible study at 7 o'clock and if you look to the right there some of the upcoming church events tonight after the service is the kids Olympics and so that'll be right up to the service let me give you some some information about that and so we're also gonna have pizza after the service but the pizza will be served after the Olympics okay so no digging into the pizza before the Olympics and so I'm talking to parents obviously the adults because I saw some of you just give me a disappointed look right now okay so just keep that in mind the pizza will be served after the Olympics meet brother Ulysses ten minutes after church in the fellowship hall so once we end the service ten minutes thereafter if your child is participating in the Olympics make sure they go into the fellowship hall you go to the fellowship hall with them to go talk to brother Ulysses and he's gonna direct the kids in different competitions for different ages so the first one being zero to six years old girls will have the spoon race one way the second one will be seven to ten year old girls spoon race the third will be the boys spoon race the fourth will be the three-legged race that's gonna be a fun one and then the fifth one is the sibling three-legged race that's a new one that we added the sixth one is the six-year-old sack race seventh is the zero to five-year-old sack race eighth is the seventh ten-year-old sack race ninth is the boys tug of war and then the tenth one is the girls tug of war now all these are great but the tug of war is what we really look forward to and so I'm looking forward to that and everyone's gonna be screaming and yelling and become enemies at the end of the Olympics after that's over and I'm just kidding and of course there's gonna be awards given out little medals given out for that make sure just a couple of things here make sure you keep your kiddos out of the way when it is not their turn for the competitions so they don't get trampled or in the way okay so parents please do us a favor pay attention to your kiddos and make sure you're watching them supervising them so they're not getting hurt and interfering with the competitions and then kids under core can join the competitions except the tug of war and three-legged race to prevent them from getting dragged or trampled over okay so we want your 400 to to have fun and compete but just not in those particular races because they could actually get hurt and so if you have any questions about any of that you can see brother Ulysses Hernandez we're looking forward to the kids Olympics tonight it's gonna be great and then the hold fast Sony marathon is on Saturday August 12th we're gonna be leaving the building here and making it to Fresno approximately around 10 o'clock a.m. for the preaching pastor Aaron Thompson is gonna be opening it up and then we'll go sowing thereafter if you are interested in participating in them you want to ride in the church van or in the church car see brother Ulysses so we can get you signed up and then the ladies prayer breakfast is on Saturday August 12th and then this Friday is the church bonfire which concludes the summer family nights and in the back where the usher station is there is a sheet there with the map of where the bonfire is gonna take place it's even highlighted there and it has the address a couple things here dinner will be served at 6 p.m. so you can come whenever you want okay some people are gonna be there all day they're gonna show up early but you know if you just want to come for the dinner okay that's when it's gonna be served bring your own chairs blankets etc the church will provide chicken and drinks and but sign up if you want to bring a side park and pay with a downloaded app on your phone however free parking can be found around the side streets but it's easier to park near the Peninsula Park and you can see that on the actual map there and then lastly fire pits are located just east of the Peninsula Park we have people they're gonna be there like 4 a.m. on that day to reserve some pits there and so because it gets pretty packed and people claim these pits and they basically stay there all day so we want to reserve those as soon as possible but I want to encourage you to be there if you are gonna be participating you're gonna be coming to the bonfire do us a favor and sign up in the back just so we could get a headcount because we are getting chicken and drinks and so we want to make sure we have enough for everyone all right and that is it no food or drink allowed in the main auditorium except for water and coffee please make sure you're not loitering the foyer fellowship hall during the preaching service please silence your phones during the preaching so as to not be a distraction during the service and then it's going to take some so many numbers from from Monday to Thursday any salvations from Monday to Thursday to okay anybody else to anybody else how about Friday and Saturday salvations for Friday and Saturday 15 okay one all right anybody else how about this afternoon salvations for this afternoon one four four for the Marcus's team two four for the Morris team one for the Glenn's team then I miss anybody going once twice thrice okay keep up the great work let's go and sing our next song 301 sweet hour of prayer we are a prayer sweet our prayer that calls me from a world of care Oh my father's will make all my wants and wishes in seasons of distress and grief my soul really and I've escaped the tempter snare by thy return sweet now lead out a prayer sweet hour of prayer thy wings shall my petition bear to him whose truth and faithfulness engage the waiting soul to blast and since he bids me see his face believe his word and trust his praise on him my head and wait for the sweet prayer sweet our prayer sweet our prayer may I thy nation's chair till I view my home and take my flight this robe of flesh I'll drop and rise to see lasting cries and shout while passing through the air farewell farewell sweet our prayer amen wonderful singing at this time our ushers will be receiving the offering and please turn your Bibles to Proverbs chapter 23 you you you good evening tonight we're in Proverbs 23 Proverbs 23 in the Bible reads when thou sittest to eat with the ruler consider diligently what is before thee put a knife to thy throat if thou be a man given appetite be not desirous of his dainties for they are deceitful meat they were not to be rich cease from thine own wisdom without set thine eyes upon that which is not for riches certainly make themselves wings they fly away as an eagle toward heaven eat thou not the bread of him that hath an evil eye neither desire thou is dainty meats for as he thinketh in his heart so is he eat and drink saith he to thee but his heart is not with thee the morsel which thou hast eaten shall thou vomit up and lose thy sweet words speak not in the ears of the of a fool for he will despise the wisdom of thy words remove not the old landmark and enter not into the fields of the fatherless for the Redeemer is mighty is he shall plead their cause with thee applying thine heart unto instruction and thine ears to the word of not words of knowledge withhold not correction from the child for if thou beatest him with the rod he shall not die I shall beat him with the rod and shall deliver his soul from hell my son if thine heart be wise my heart shall rejoice even mine yay my reign shall rejoice when thy lips speak right things let not thine heart envy sinners but be thou in the fear of the Lord all the day long for surely there is an end and that expectation shall not be cut off hear thou my son and be wise and guide thine heart in the way be not among wine bibbers be among riotous eaters of the flesh for the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags hearken unto thy father that begat thee and despise not thy mother when she is old by the truth and sell it not also wisdom and instruction and understanding the father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice he that beget at the wise child shall have joy of him thy father and thy mother shall be glad and she that bear thee shall rejoice my son give me thine heart and let thine eyes observe my ways for a whore is a deep ditch and a strange woman is a narrow pit she also lieth and wait for as for a prey and creaseth in the transgressors among men who hath woe who hath sorrow who hath contentions who hath babbling who hath wounds without cause who hath redness of eyes they that tarry long at the wine they that go to seek mixed wine look not thou upon the wine when it is red when it give it this color in the cup when it move it itself for right at the last it biteth like a serpent and stingeth like an adder and I shall behold strange women and thine heart shall utter prefers things a that shall be as he that lieth down in the midst of the sea I see that lieth upon the top of a mass they have stricken me thou shall say and I was not sick they have beaten me and I felt and not when shall I awake I will seek it yet again let's pray dear Lord God thank you for this church Lord thank you for the King James Bible Lord just all the principles that we have in the Word of God Lord and we just pray that you fill pastor with the Holy Spirit as he preaches your word unto us Lord and just give us ears to hear and pray that we come away edified Lord we pray this all in Jesus name amen amen okay tonight I'm continuing a series that I started about two weeks ago and of course I end up getting sick and then we had the conference and so this is part two of a sermon series entitled preventative medicine for the family look at Proverbs 23 verse 13 it says withhold not correction from the child for if thou beatest him with the rod he shall not die I shall beat him with the rod and shall deliver his soul from hell I'm gonna give you a little bit of an introduction and just a little bit of review from the previous week now does everyone have a lesson does anybody anybody not have a lesson who doesn't have a lesson okay who needs a pen anybody need a pen because we got sheets tonight fill in the blank sheets anybody everyone has a lesson everyone has a pen very well everyone's prepared great all right so let me just give you a little bit of introduction and review from the last time and last two weeks ago I talked about preventative medicine in your marriage and I started up by talking about the fact that these principles that we give here in this in the sermon it's not gonna prevent conflicts in your marriage okay this is not a one-size-fits-all if you do this you're never gonna have any issue whatsoever this will not prevent unforeseen trials in your family as well it will not prevent disobedience in your children it will not prevent arguments disagreements or seasonal trials to occur in your marriage so don't have an unrealistic expectation about the principles that we're sharing here this is just to prevent some of those things from getting out of hand and so that you can resolve them when they do occur okay now we talked about preventative medicine in your marriage and I'm gonna cover all the points just by way of review here we say that to prevent a sour complex not in your sheet but I hope you save the sheet from two weeks ago if not your marriage is gonna fall apart that's just it to prevent a sour complaining atmosphere in the home learn and express gratitude okay and obviously that's something that we should that's the type of atmosphere that we should have in our homes with our children but especially with your spouse make sure you show gratitude towards your spouse for the big things that they do for us and even the smallest of things and in order for you to show gratitude even for the smallest of things you have to on-purpose pay attention to those small things that they do for you and for the kids and so don't make sure you express gratitude in order to prevent a murmuring type of a spirit in the home to prevent burnout practice recreation we're talking about dates family days family trips it can be very exhausting to have a home with a spouse and children especially if you have little ones and so it can wane on the emotions and even mental health sometimes and so in order to kind of ease that there needs to be scheduled dates family time family trips in order to kind of reignite and renew that enjoyment with your family the next one we said is let your spouse utilize their strengths okay so you need to dwell with your spouse according to knowledge and obviously that's specifically referring to the wife the dwelling with your wife according to knowledge however this is just applicable to both parties and it's important for you to know what the strengths of your spouse is and to make sure that they're utilizing it in marriage and in their family because they're not a lot of frustration can arise because of that and so I'm gonna move on here I'm not gonna belabor the point to prevent a resentful spouse keep your spouse's emotional tank full okay make sure that whatever makes your spouse happy you're doing on a consistent basis all right and don't take your spouse for granted and think well she already got the greatest gift when we got married I mean what else does she need you know I just don't understand aren't I better to thee than ten sons type of a thing but the reality is this is that you know you need to maintain your marriage and make it make sure that their emotional tank is full and you know you want to make sure that you're keeping gas in the tank okay and that you're regularly getting an oil change so as to not blow up marriage gasket you understand and then the car completely falls apart and then you have to purchase a new motor which does not mean get a new spouse by the way you know it's just new things have to be done okay I didn't say get a new car just get a new motor all right and so just keep that in mind to prevent a resentful spouse keep your spouse's emotional tank full to prevent confusion and unnecessary major conflicts live out biblical roles you know here at our church and of course according to the Bible we teach that the man is the breadwinner and the wife is the keeper at home and often when those roles are not being followed accordingly there's gonna be a lot of conflict in the marriage because of the fact that if you're having your wife work in the secular world that means she has two bosses okay meaning she has her husband as a boss but she also has the boss that she goes to from nine to five and it will create conflict and unnecessary conflict and a lot of confusion husband is the leader and provider wife is the keeper at home and care caretaker of the children here's an important one to prevent bitterness forgive practice forgiveness on a daily basis okay and you know you married your spouse and you married your spouse because you felt like that was the perfect one for you and you know this is God's will and you know all that but you know they're still sinners and so sinners will offend we will say things that we shouldn't say do things that we shouldn't do and it's at that point that we need to make sure that we exercise forgiveness and not hold grudges against our spouse and in fact the Bible specifically says as an instruction to husbands you know not to be bitter against their wives basically implying that that's definitely a temptation sometimes in marriage is for a husband to become bitter towards his wife but it's also a temptation for the wife to become bitter towards her husband and what happens is if if it's unresolved and you don't resolve that conflict you don't forgive it ends up blowing up months and years later and you know then you're gonna see me later on and say hey I need your help when the whole thing has already fallen apart you can prevent that by just exercising and practicing daily forgiveness okay for the offenses in the marriage to prevent a wounded spirit choose your words wisely you know some of us in here might have words as sharp as swords okay and if you're not careful you can cut your husband or you can cut your wife deep okay and obviously create that resentment towards you by you know not choosing your words wisely and sometimes you're like well sometimes this needs to be said okay then choose a better time to say it or choose a better way to say it because one thing you don't want to do is discourage your encourager okay one of your greatest encouragers is your spouse but if you discourage your encourager by wounding their spirit with your words you know that's gonna work against you in the long run okay and so make sure you choose your words wisely learn how to speak teach your lips how to answer a matter to prevent mistrust be transparent with your spouse okay and I'm talking about phones social media bank accounts where you are at at all times have accountability it should be it shouldn't be like well I don't want her going on my social media I don't want her going on my answer why not you know you should be available that should be information that's available to your spouse no keeping secrets type of a thing make sure that you're transparent with them and if they want to pick up your phone and look through it look through the text messages they're more than welcome to why not okay it's like well she should trust me well yeah but of course she should trust you you should trust her but the way you can increase that trust is by allowing them to do that okay and it looks really bad is that we should trust you so don't look to my phone you know that looks really bad okay the phone should always be available your wife your husband should have the code to your phone face recognition I don't know if there's more than one face recognition on the phone but just make it available in case they want to check it okay to prevent a lack of understanding communicate what I mean by that husbands can't read minds so don't expect your husband to be able to read your mind and he said well he should know better look we're two different types of people you're a woman we're men and you know we communicate differently and so if you want your husband to kind of help solve an issue or know what's wrong in your heart you kind of need to be able to communicate that to them because of the fact that we don't pick up on stuff like that okay our solution is very simple it's just like a B and C or one two and three sub point a B and C this is how you fix the issue but you know we need to know what's actually going on in your heart so and here's the thing ladies is don't don't be the type to say you know what's wrong nothing because you know what we're gonna think like okay cool everything's good you know unless you're just like nothing you know then we have to like dig in and dig in help your husband out here a little bit if they're making an effort to try to solve the issue or you know they're trying to reconcile with you then make yourself available to do so and don't make it that hard on them okay make sure you communicate communication is key it's important you got to make sure you do it okay so let's talk up a little bit about child rearing tonight and I'm not sure how long we're gonna be tonight I don't think it's gonna be very long these are all very practical points some of them have verses some of them don't and this is just regarding child rearing and the the truth is is that our church has a lot of babies we have a lot of toddlers and infants and so this is I'm kind of gearing this towards that age group okay because the majority of the parents here have like newborn babies they have toddlers they have infants and so I'm kind of gearing that towards them now those of you who are not married and don't have children fill out the blanks anyways fold this and keep it in to keep it until afterwards okay don't tune me out and if you tune me out then you know I'll see you in a couple years and I'm gonna be like what do you remember when I preach that message okay all right number one regarding child rearing very practical here to prevent your child from going to hell or acting like hell spank them now this is very practical but the truth is a lot of parents don't do this okay in Proverbs 23 13 says withhold not correction from the child for if thou beatest them with the rod he shall not die thou shalt beat him with the rod and shall deliver his soul from hell and I've talked about this many times that obviously it's important to chastise your children in order to teach them that life has consequences and in the long run they'll realize that so then when someone gives them the gospel and helps them to realize that the consequences to their sin is hell you know their heart is more tender to receive that because they understand that actions have consequences but this is important folks because you think yourself well you know my kids are saved or they just got saved well to prevent your child acting like hell continue to spank them okay now you don't want to go overboard on this because sometimes and it's family night okay it's family time so let's just get personal here amen you know sometimes parents because they're not consistently spanking their children at home they try to overcompensate by spanking really hard at church okay you understand what I mean this is like they don't spank a whole lot you say how do you know they don't spank a whole lot at home because they overcompensate by spanking a lot of church okay it just needs to be balanced and sometimes the reason that's the case is because they don't want other people thinking I don't spank at home so they had to try to portray themselves to be more strict than they really are what you need to do is just be balanced okay and look don't be embarrassed don't think to yourself why don't want the church thinking that my kids are just really wild and bad okay look folks all our kids are really wild and bad sometimes because our kids foolishness is bound in the heart of a child don't be a parent who's just ashamed and it's just like oh man I'm so embarrassed cuz my kids they get so crazy no what you should be embarrassed about is when your kids act wild and crazy you don't do anything about it now I've said this for years on end and I'm gonna continue to say it I'm all for you fellowshipping in church and and ladies I'm all for you gossiping I mean fellowshipping with the other ladies at church but not at the exclusion of watching your kids and making sure they're not being mischievous or malicious with other children and being destructive in the church you need to make sure you keep an eye on them okay so that when they married chastisement you're on it okay and look don't think I'm like the police here either or just like I'm just waiting to see what kid is about to get in trouble and if the parents are gonna do something about it that's not me I'm not your child's parent I have to I'm watching you know my kids are up to something and I see it I obviously do something about it but when I'm at church that's actually that responsibility is actually designated for my wife and she knows that and so you just need to make sure that you or your spouse are overseeing your children when they're here and don't go you know overboard on each end just have discipline at home and discipline them when they're at church as well and if you see your child being malicious towards another child do something about it don't just look at them don't just be like no no no don't do that or no no no stop that if they merit chastisement you need to chastise them and obviously no one here is gonna chastise your child for you but here's the thing is that you're you're doing your child a disservice and you're basically ruining your reputation as a parent here in our church as well because people are gonna end up being bitter towards you because you're not doing something about it okay now I can't think of a particular child that's doing that and a particular parent is doing that which is why the sermon is called preventative medicine okay this is to prevent you from doing so now don't get this message mixed up because sometimes I'll preach something like this and people in the church will just go overboard on what I'm saying and just think like my child can never misbehave or something like that all all of our kids misbehave okay all of our kids to a certain extent they will throw a fit or something like that at church okay mine included don't think that if your child throws a fit in the middle of the service you're just a really horrible parent or something like that it's like oh man I'm so embarrassed they're throwing a fit or something like that no the problem is if you don't do something about it if you just allow your child to throw a fit to throw a tantrum and you're not actually disciplined you're acting like Eli and not doing something about it that's when it becomes an issue okay but don't become ashamed just because your kid is throwing a fish crying that's what kids do sometimes okay now the problem is when adults do that then there is a problem but you know we're talking about kids here make sure you are spanking your children and do not spank your children the way you're spanked if you were not spanked in a proper way when you're younger okay we're not we're not promoting smacking anybody across the face or in the mouth wringing them by the hair throwing objects to them you know all using hangers or you know whatever else objects that's in the nearby vicinity okay we're talking about just regular spanking on the bottom as God intended okay and so keep that in mind and understand a part of childhood one of the greatest aspects of childrearing the most effective aspects of childrearing is spanking it's chastisement okay don't go overboard be balanced about it and make sure that you're doing that okay let me just say this is that this requires consistency and persistence on the behalf of the parent okay there's another thing you don't want to do is you have a season where you're really strict about it and then you just gonna become lenient for like another couple of months or something you need to be consistent and sometimes let me say this mom's are notorious for this okay because they're always with the children is that sometimes they they have a particular child who is more spunky than the other ones a little more rambunctious than the other ones and they consistently spank them but they just feel like they're not making any progress with the child okay and so and they get discouraged and judges like then they become lenient towards that child what you need to do is be consistent and persistent even if you feel like it's not working it will work in the long run the Bible is true it does work you just got to be consistent and persistent and trust the program okay and here's the thing what's your other option if you decide to stop just let them become a spoiled little brat or something I mean come on think about it so just be consistent and moms if you feel like you're becoming weary and chastising your child then ask your husband to step in and help you out with the discipline as well when he comes home from work there's nothing wrong with that and look I'm not the I'm not the primary disciplinarian of my house I'm not I'm the CEO the manager is the one who takes care of all of that my wife is the one who disciplines the children more than myself the only time I step in is when the company you know if I catch something some some employee in the company you know doing wrong and I have to step in or the employee in the company is disrespecting the manager that's when I step in you know when I come home and if I feel like my kids are answering my wife roughly or they're showing an ounce of disrespect they're getting it from me and we always teach our children do not yell at mom never talk to her like that again never disrespect and it's not like no no no it's just like these words are coming out of my mouth as I'm spanking as well never let your kids disrespect your spouse okay and you disrespect for you might be different from than what I'm talking about we don't permit any type of disrespect and disrespect is like rolling your eyes if I catch my kids rolling their eyes at my wife they're gonna spank him for that you know if they're just like rolling their eyes or if they even have an ounce of yeah they're getting it because that's a form of disrespect towards my wife and by the way vice versa if they do that to me my wife typically catches it before I do and she chastises the children for it why because we don't want to raise disrespectful children okay and so it's important that you spank them and sometimes you know and I'm not I'm spending a lot of time on this but it's important sometimes it's just like moms or dads whoever is applying that the discipline can often become lenient because they're merciful they just feel bad or something the Bible literally says don't spare for their crying and obviously we love our children because we love them we need to discipline them and the reason Bible says don't spare for their crying is because of the fact that you feel like oh man you know maybe I'm just being too rough on them or you're imposing your own personal experience as a child upon your child because maybe you were not disciplined in the correct way you need to put that aside okay if you are not disciplined correctly as a child you cannot impose that upon your child you need to biblically execute the discipline of your child and it's proper appropriate way and not use your past and how your mom or your dad chastise you if they were too rough with you you need to put that behind you and do it the right way okay and not allow that to impede you from disciplining your children as they need to be okay and so prevent your child from going to hell or acting like hell so make sure you spank them and thank God we live in a country where that's not illegal a man and so you know that's important all right number two is there anything else that I want to say about that if I do I'll come up with it later on and I'll enter up one of my points to prevent your child from chaotic behavior in church teach them how to behave while at home and during preaching services okay now what I mean by chaotic behavior in church we're not necessarily referring to during the preaching service that's why I put preaching service thereafter we're talking about either before or after don't allow your kids to treat the church building like their room okay where they're jumping all over the place destroying church property coloring all over the hymnals by the way which I'm sure we can open up some hymnals right now and see some coloring in those hymnals and I'm sure it wasn't done by adults okay and make sure your children are not being destructive and also let me say this don't allow your children to just stampede all over the place look I love the fact that my kids have friends here and you know that they have their little group of friends here that they play with but sometimes I just got to tell my son like hey don't run through adult conversations when adults are fellowship and they're talking teach your children not to just be bumping into adults in our church you know that's not appropriate okay this isn't their room teach them how to behave in the house of God teach them how to behave during the preaching service what does that mean you know we're a family integrated church we're all hoorah about it and just really all for it and excited about that but you know that comes with a lot of responsibility and the responsibility is this you need to learn how to teach your kids how to sit up in church to listen now not all the kids are gonna do that perfectly right off the bat even for a couple of years because they're still kids but you should be teaching them right off the bat though okay and I'll give you a prime example of this myself I mean my wife right now is in the mother-baby room with three other ones and I tell her leave Bruce and Kyla in the service and so technically I have to watch my kids while they're here now right before the service I told them you breathe wrong you know they're gonna get it okay and now they're they're not only gonna get it from the pulpit they're gonna get it afterwards as well okay cuz I'm trying to teach them how to sit up straight and pay attention and behave in church and not be messing around and everyone anybody who's been here long enough you've seen me kind of up braid my children during the service okay when my wife is out of the service or something and it's normal so I'm not saying you have to have perfect kids in church because of course none of them are perfect they're gonna mess around but do this make sure that when they are messing around you do something about it and teach them this is church sit up straight listen sing the hymns hold the Bible open it up if they know how to go to the references you know if they're taking notes whatever teach them how to behave in church and let me say this let me go a little further than that the kids who are getting a little older don't need to sit on your lap all the time maybe you just need to teach them how to sit on an actual chair to listen okay and not be so dependent upon you carrying them and watching them during church they need to learn how to be in church and look if you are sick and you stay home with the kids teach them watch the services at home and teach them how to behave at home as well let them know we didn't get it get to go to church today but we're watching the preaching you need to sit down sit up straight and listen okay and so to prevent chaotic behavior in church teach them how to behave while at home and during the preaching services it's important don't misunderstand me we know the kids get out of hand sometimes it's perfectly fine just make sure you do something about it when they do number three to prevent malicious behavior later discipline your children for being mischievous now don't allow your kids to just be a bully in here and just you know do mischievous malicious things to other children you know and if a parent comes to you with these concerns don't just write it off and think that that parent has something against you you know especially if you have more than one report of this do something about it because what you don't want is to get to me because then I have to like you know bring the hammer down during the sermon or something like that because you're not you're not withholding your child from being malicious to other kids okay number four to prevent your child from feeling insecure exercise unity in marriage now this is important the greatest security that you can give your kids is the fact that you and your spouse love each other and you get along okay disagreements between you and your spouse should be done behind closed doors again did I say you can't have disagreements no there will be disagreements but have the decency that if you do have disagreements not to do it before the kids you are imprinting in their minds and in their little souls a measure of insecurity that you're gonna have to pay for later on because the fact of the matter is that God has ingrained within them to get their security from mom and dad loving each other and getting along understand so if you have a disagreement with your spouse you know and you want to throw a frying pan frying pan at him or something just do it behind closed doors or something don't do it at all I'm exaggerating here but if you can't help yourself at least wait till the kids go to bed okay I'm exaggerating obviously I'm being facetious here what I'm saying is you know when whenever my wife and I have had a disagreement and we were we were definitely just just in disagreement about something it was like a passionate thing we've always said let's do this after the kids are going to bed you know we need to talk about this later because we're taking our kids emotions and minds and souls into consideration they need to understand that mom and dad are always in unity and you never want to create an atmosphere where by the way children pick up on this and what they do is that if there's disunity in the marriage they're not gonna tell you all you guys aren't getting along but it's gonna communicate to them I could pick one spouse over another mom over dad dad over mom to take my side when I'm not allowed to do something by one parent or something and then they just go with one parent over the other that's not what you want that's called disunity that's not God's order so what you do is if you have a disagreement be adults about it control your temper control your anger and say we'll discuss this afterwards okay let the kids go to bed and then apologize to each other come to terms with whatever you guys are arguing about and move on if not you will create feelings of insecurity in your children later on okay number five am I skipping anything here no number five to prevent raising entitled children teach them to work and to hear the word no tell them no Ephesians 4 28 says let him that stole steel no more but rather let him labor working with his hands the thing which is good that he may have to give to him that needed okay and let me just say this tonight there might be some kids are disappointed greatly because they lose because they lost my kids might lose I don't know but you know what we can't necessarily I mean I don't know what kind I don't know I might be shooting myself in the foot of here but I don't know if they're giving consolation prizes okay no good okay no consolation prizes you know just like here's a participation trophy or something like that no participation trophies kids need to learn how to lose sometimes okay and losing as a great as a greater teacher than succeeding actually okay and so teach your children to be good sportsmen to have good sportsmanship when they lose and to be happy for their friends if they are the victor and and your children are not okay teach them to work teach them to hear the word no and I should have added on there teach them to be good not to be sore losers okay so I'll get it next year all right number six to prevent bad influences from stealing your child's heart win and protect their heart now I think this is more applicable to when your kids a little older especially in their teenage years but it obviously begins now okay and you need to make sure as parents that you are constantly trying to win your child's heart by spending quality time with them okay and right now is actually the easiest time to win our children's hearts because our children they view us as heroes okay they kind of view us as like the greatest thing ever we're like heroes to them and so we need to take advantage of that and win their hearts over so that transitions over into their teenage years and essentially instead of following you because you're their hero they follow you because they respect you as a leader okay Bible says in Proverbs 23 verse 26 it says my son give me thine heart and let thine eyes observe my ways now some heart stealers out there can come in the form of devices iPads phones and so parents I know we live in 2023 however your kid doesn't always have to be in front of a device computer an iPad you know if you allow your kids to watch things on iPad or a phone or whatever make sure it's a treat and make sure you are supervising them okay but when they expect every day to be able to watch something and it's just like this is what we do I want to watch something you know at that point the device needs to be taken away okay and and here's the thing like you know that my wife was taking my kids to the eye doctor and the doctor was saying that a lot of kids have these eye issues now very early on and the reason they have a lot of eye issues is that it's because of the devices that they're on but it's not the blue light or whatever the light or whatever it is it's because they're not necessarily they're spending so much time in front of a device they're not necessarily exercising their eyes to see far away because they're always in front of it so they're not exercising and using the muscles in their eyes to look far away because they're always on a device okay so essentially to become nearsighted early on but you know the there's a greater danger than that and that's someone who can be on a device if you're just giving them unfettered access to the internet who can steal your child's heart you need to make sure that you supervise them and not just say well here's the device so I can just give me a break or something like that you know let me just let you watch this and just give me a break from you no why don't you just put a book in front of them instead you know part and I'm gonna cover in just a bit part of our recreation at home is our kids reading give them all books part of recreation at our home is going to the library allowing them to pick like five books obviously we we filter what books are getting and then they go home and they just read those books you know what the great thing about that is they learn something and then they're talking to you he's my son's talking about airplanes and how they have this and that I'm just like I don't know anything about that but you know you like knows more about airplanes than I do but hey I'd rather have him sit and actually read a book then watch something and again I'm not against my kids watching something but it's a treat okay it's not a babysitter and these things can often steal your children's hearts and that could be a sermon in and of itself but I need to move on here look at number seven to prevent chaos and uncertainty with your children keep a schedule my father-in-law is to say don't be spiritual crackheads where you just do things at a whim take a nap at a whim eat wet a whim play at a whim you should have schedules for your kids lives I know that's like a dirty word sometimes but it's true your kids need schedules okay I would talks about teach us to number our days that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom and let me just focus on this subject right here naps kids need naps but they need scheduled they need scheduled naps not just whenever they're tired now there's gonna be instances if you're traveling going out of town or something the schedule can be thrown off and they take naps at different times but in general when you're at home mom should schedule the naps look naps do wonders my friends I mean I like naps actually you know when I was a kid I didn't like naps but now when I'm older I kind of like them now you know but I'm saying naps do wonders for kids and they need naps but you can't let them just dead just designate their own schedule though it's like oh they're tired they're just gonna go to sleep you need to have a schedule for them so let me just give you my schedule not my schedule but my kids schedule let me just give you a bare basics of my kids schedule here okay now the big kids when I say the big kids I'm talking about Bruce, Kyla and Isaiah not so much Bruce because he's about to be seven so we're kind of transitioning him into a different schedule because he's not as tired anymore but the big kids all have the same sleep schedule so they wake up at 7 after they wake up they all make their beds they clothe themselves they do a chore that's designated specifically for them then they eat breakfast after they eat breakfast they have Bible time then they have book time and then before lunch they have like a recreational time which could be going to the library getting books going to the park to go burn some energy or just being just having constructive fun at home playing in the backyard with the water table or something like that right now it's the summertime so it's different when it's when it's when they go back into school and I'm talking about home schooling you know they you know they obviously do homeschool work okay I think it's for about like an hour hour and a half or so but during the summer for example they have that recreational time is reading they play on a water table they do things of that nature I don't know if this lady's looking for could someone help her out she looks lost oh Brother Chevy's got it never mind so so they wake up okay after they wake up make their beds they clothe themselves then they they eat breakfast after they eat breakfast or I'm sorry they do the chore they eat breakfast then they have reading time then recreational time and then they have lunch then after they have lunch they clean up okay and then they take a nap from one to three okay now this is important okay parents listen up this is not the standard but it's a pretty good standard though you want your kids taking a nap around this specific time don't have them taking a nap at four or five six o'clock in the evening because then they take a two hour nap and then they don't go to sleep to like 12 1 o'clock in the morning and then you have this chaotic atmosphere in your house where you're tired but your kids are not okay so if you don't have a schedule just follow mine okay have your kids take a nap from one to three now my son Bruce doesn't need a nap he's in the stage where he's not tired during that time he did need a nap before but now he kind of he doesn't so during that time he has quiet time where he's reading a book he's doing some sort of constructive project or something like that and he's just leaving my wife alone okay and my wife tells him like this is quiet time so that means you go read a book and it's not a punishment for him because he loves to read boy loves to read set up Kyla put your feet down Bruce so he he reads a book he has quiet time and it kind of gives my wife some time to like clean you know wash the dishes take care of my operation because the kids are knocked out upstairs Bruce is reading the book he's doing something constructive downstairs that's a nap from one to three after that they get a snack and then they kind of have free play before dad gets home then we have dinner approximately around 530 or so and then after that is just time with dad either we play tag or tickly it's a tickle party or we go take a walk around the block and then when we get back it's shower time and essentially they're in bed between 730 and 8 now that's not to say they're asleep by 8 o'clock sometimes they fall asleep 830 the latest would be like 9 o'clock but most of the time it's like 830 okay and then they get a full night's rest up until the next morning okay and here's the thing is that there's obviously room for error here sometimes right there's a kid who doesn't want to take a nap and then he keeps getting up so what I do we'll revisit the first point which is Spanx right and we got to teach our kids via Spanx right now it's time to go to sleep and what kid likes to take no kid likes to take a nap right but we're teaching them stay in bed close your eyes because we know what's best for them and we know they need that sleep or else they're gonna be throwing fits later on because they're too they're over tired understand now when Helen was about 18 months she would actually take a short nap in the morning but she doesn't really need that anymore and obviously there needs to be room for you know there's transitions here as they get older their schedules change a little bit but in general this is what the schedule is okay it's not complicated it's pretty simple but what you don't want is a chaotic house and by chaotic I mean you just kind of let your kids kind of do whatever they want to do sleep whenever they want to sleep eat whenever they want to eat do whatever they want that's not how should we run my friends God likes order and let me say this mom you'll be a lot crazier you'll be a lot less emotional if you keep a schedule like this or something similar to this and you know what your kids like that they like to know was it you know my wife has a schedule on actual on the fridge for the kids and they go there and they check off their list of what to do and if they get off kilter and start doing something else my wife always tells them what's on your schedule and they go look I'll throw out the trash I gotta go throw out the trash or something okay that's too much yeah but hold on a second it's not really too much because don't you live by I hope you live by schedule okay because you know if you didn't live by a schedule that's probably why your kids don't live by a schedule either and so if we all need schedules we all need you know specific task lists that we that we follow and and routines that we have and so our kids need that okay all right let me move on here number eight I gotta I gotta hurry up actually to prevent jealousy don't have favorites okay number nine to prevent low self-esteem praise your children for the good that they do now you may have grown up in a home where praise was not something that you received a whole lot but you need to change that if that's the case okay and let me give you an example let me just give you a really raw example you know my daughter Helen is being potty trained right now and this morning she went potty on the toilet you know what we do we celebrate yeah clapping for her my wife's like you get a chocolate and she feels rewarded and she's been doing it a couple times like since last week she's been going and in the morning she'll wake up and her diapers dry and they're like all right let's go potty and put her on the toilet there and then she goes and we just like all of us even the kids the kids like yeah hey it's a great accomplishment okay and so you'd be surprised how much how far praise goes okay and praise goes a long way not just for the kids but by the way for your spouse as well you know the Bible says as a finding pot for silver in the furnace for gold so was a man to his praise and so when you praise someone even for the little that they do it causes them to want to excel even further and especially when it comes to kids because let me say this kids want to please their parents really bad and kids want to impress their parents really bad which is why kids are always like look at me dad look at me mom look at me and they're constantly showing us their drawings and coloring and you know how they can backflip or back kick or whatever because they want our praise so it's important that you praise your kids and you make a big deal of the small things don't be like oh you call that a back kick you know this is a back kick or something you know call that going to the body or something you know it's like you know you want to prevent low self-esteem and the way you prevent that in them is by praising your children and and and helping them to realize that you're pleased with them okay and you're like well they know that I'm pleased with them but if you're not verbalizing it they won't know you need to verbalize it and it almost to the extent you kind of got to exaggerate a little bit okay but it's important for your kids and by the way along with this point tell your tell you excuse me tell your sons that they're handsome and tell your daughters that they're beautiful okay you say why well as they grow up someone else is gonna tell them and be able to steal their heart so you got to make sure that you keep that in check by feeding that aspect of their lives by letting them know because you know if a father does not win the heart of his daughter someone else will so you got to make sure you're constantly you know letting them know that they're beautiful and very attractive and and and you know they're your sons they're handsome they're strong they need that from their parents okay number 10 to prevent having children too close together exclusively breastfeed your babies number 11 here's a big one okay and this is where I'll probably spend the remainder of the sermon on this particular point to prevent an endlessly exhausted mother help your baby get into a consistent eat wake play sleep routine and I'm referring to newborns and obviously infants alright so let's talk about this okay this is important because when it comes to this there's actually two schools of thought in this regard and as far as I know my wife and I are the only ones who adhere to one of these particular ones and pretty much everyone adheres to the other one okay which if this if after the sermon you continue to that's your prerogative it's your business it does no skin off my back or my wife's back this is just something I'm giving you to help you so there's two schools of thoughts the first one being demand feeding okay and the philosophy behind demand feeding is that you demand feed because you want to prevent having a baby too close okay obviously the natural gods natural spacing is about approximately two years and so the philosophy is if you do demand feeding you will succeed in that area and you have your children will be approximately two years apart apart okay the second school of thought is the full feeding method okay what this does is it trains your baby's body to eat as certain intervals and when they are old enough getting more of their calories in the daytime but this one also prevents you having babies too close as well in a natural way okay the goal for both of these the mom who does demand feeding and the one who does the full feeding method is to keep the body in a state of lactation amenorrhea basically where the body is able to not or it places the body in such a way that you don't have babies closer you don't get your cycle back and therefore your children are evenly spaced approximately about two years that's the goal of those who do demand feeding and those who do the full feeding method now this is a touchy subject okay and I think it's a touchy subject because of the fact that most people for example in the new IFB they do do demand feeding and they view the full feeding method as a scheduled feeding and the reason I think they're like well if you do scheduled feeding then you're gonna have your babies very close together or I'm sorry you're gonna have your babies yeah close together like back to back and obviously that poses a problem but my wife does full feeding method and all of our kids are about two years apart okay now let me say this is that there are there are people on both sides demand feeding and full feeding who have been successful at both okay so I've seen people who do the demand feeding and they have their children spaced apart two years but I've also met a lot of people who do the full feeding method who also have their children two years apart they both been successful at it however however I know more women that demand feed that live exhausted sleep deprived lives that women who do the full feeding method who get their cycles back in fact I've never met a woman who does the full feeding method who had a baby back had babies back-to-back okay now there's obviously exceptions to the rule I'm sure that there's someone out there who has and there's exceptions to even the rule of the demand feeding because I've known women who demand feed and they still have their kids back-to-back okay but in general scientifically speaking the full feeding method is pretty much foolproof about 99% of the time my wife did it my sister-in-law's do it my mother-in-law has done it my mother-in-law has had eight kids all about two and a half or two years apart doing the full feeding method okay now keep in mind the point that I'm making here in order to avoid a sleep deprived mom okay which in my assessment it happens quite a bit and I hear about it a lot even in our church I see it and I hear about it a lot they're just sleep deprived and it's messing with their minds with their emotions or hormones are out of whack and it just don't get any sleep and in my opinion you can get that beloved sleep by doing the full feeding method and still still have your children space two years apart approximately two years apart okay now let me give you some misconceptions about the full feeding method that people will often bring up miss can say it's not in your notes or actually it isn't you know sorry but I think it's already filled out right like there's no blanks misconception number one if you schedule your baby you will get your cycle back that's a misconception because if you put your baby on a feeding routine where the feedings are close enough you never go them more than four hours without breastfeeding your body will stay in a state of lactation almenorrhea so never go beyond four hours of feeding and your body will retain that lactation almenorrhea my wife never goes more than three hours during the day if you go more than four hours it will trigger your body to get ready to have another baby okay so she stays basically at approximately three hours feeding the baby and she does fine now at approximately three months when the baby's three months babies are able to actually sleep through the night so for example my daughter Helen she's about three months and she just transitioned into pretty much sleeping through the night so my daughter is like she goes to sleep at you know whatever time and she literally sleeps for about seven hours okay now obviously you know things happen and I don't know my wife might get pregnant or something right and then you can just discard this but I don't believe that's gonna happen because it hasn't happened with any of our kids and in general the consensus even the scientific evidence has shown that you can do that and look moms doesn't that sound nice a full seven hours of sleep okay and obviously before the three months it's not healthy for them to go seven hours they need the calories and so you need to feed them here's another misconception if you don't demand feed you will not give or the baby will not get the hind fatty milk that's a common misconception because what they need is actually a full feeding instead of snacking when you when you give a full feeding to your child they are getting the hind milk they're getting the full feeding the good quality milk and full feeding helps put your child into a good routine so that you know that they're full so what happens is when you give your child your baby a full feeding let's say for example 20 minutes later they start crying you can exclude that as being a problem with the child you know that it's not because they're hungry there's another issue involved whereas with the demand feeding if your child cries thereafter you're automatically thinking oh they're hungry so then you feed them again so they did they still get the hind fatty milk even with the full feeding method here's another misconception full feeding is you letting your baby cry and not feeding them when hungry now I remember one time somebody asked my wife and you know I don't know if they're well-meaning or not but you know it was it was it was funny the way they worded the question they're like do you feed your baby when they're hungry or do you schedule your child now what is the implication there do you feed their child when you're hungry or do you starve them that's basically what they're implying you know it's like are you gay and does your mom know you're gay you know what I mean so they kind of worded the question in such a way that they're implying that my wife starves our children or something like that because in their minds it's like well if you're letting your baby cry that means that all right if you do the full feeding you're just gonna let your baby cry you're gonna starve them you're gonna allow them to go hungry because there is a movement out there that does schedule that does do that okay and that's not what we're talking about we're talking about getting a full feeding in and then when I talk about full feeding I'm talking about my wife drains you know her breasts by feeding the baby and even switches them over to the other breast to get a full and that's what we know it's like they're all milk drunk you know it's like this child is full okay full feeding method is when you make sure each time your baby nurses they're emptying out your breasts and of course there are instances where you keep them asleep you still arouse them to eat it takes a little longer but there's nothing wrong with taking a little longer if they get a full feeding they're gaining the nutrition that they need and you're getting the sleep that you need to if they're crying 20 minutes later eliminates the possibility they're hungry again and obviously the exception is when they are experiencing the growth spurt sometimes children not sometimes children do go through a growth spurt and that's when you have to adjust the schedule and be flexible in that area putting them in a routine will train them their metabolism and helps them to be better sleepers and you know people are like yeah but then the baby can't sleep with you and you know how about but I don't really I haven't seen that though there's no disattachment between my children and my wife or my children to me I mean my children still come in the morning when I'm in bed and they want to snuggle okay routine doesn't mean rigid by the way the schedule serves you and not the other way around and obviously you do have to adjust the older your child gets and for more information about this you can see my wife if you're interested in that but the reason I want to bring this up is because of the fact that you know thank God we're having a lot of babies in our church and I think it's a blessing from God but what I've seen and I'm sure a lot of people in our church have seen as well is mom suffering through the night because they just don't sleep at all and you know what that causes women to do just be extremely emotional dad comes home and the mom is just like losing her mind and it causes her to kind of just be discouraged because like I think we're doing it the right way but I'm so sleep-deprived not getting you sleep sometimes moms can even go through a state of psychosis when they are sleep-deprived okay and let me just give you a personal illustration there's there's one child that we had that was demand-fed and not necessary because we chose to demand feed it's because it was kind of forced upon us because my wife got sick and when my wife was sick we the schedule just went out the door at the window and we just felt like we just needed to feed one of our children whenever you want it and you know what to this day he kind of has some issues with sleep you know kind of affected his sleep and we're still working on him even to this day and so you know moms in order for you to prevent this for you prevent you from just kind of losing your minds you can still have the best of both worlds okay and here's the best of both worlds give your child the full feeding the nutrition that they need and get a good good night's sleep as well and husbands you know husbands don't know a whole lot about this okay so do the research if you need to but I'm just saying you'll have a happier wife if you go this route and you'll be a lot happier when you come home too because then your wife is actually getting the sleep that she needs and she's not like blowing up on you or whatever because she's not getting a sleep or something okay well we're gonna demand feed no matter what and you know what so-and-so demand feeds well you know what that's great if that's what they do and that that's what you feel you need to do it's perfectly fine I'm not saying this is gospel either this is not like doctrine I'm not telling you if you don't do this you're not right with God this is literally just to help your wife and I have five children and all but one was did the full feeding method and it looks like they're turned out pretty good we all have and people think yeah but you didn't really have it like two years exactly apart it's like a year and a half but at the same time I could point to one of my pastor friends who did the man feeding and they also had their children about a year and a half apart as well we say approximately two years is literally approximately two years okay and so I don't think this this needs to be a point of contention this is just advice from one family to another for the sake of your wife giving the quality quality sleep that she needs you know so she's not pulling out her hair you know because she's not getting any sleep okay I'll move on I digress but if you have any questions you can see my wife because I don't do all that stuff number 12 to prevent being ashamed as parents don't leave your children to themselves and I think a good way to apply this is don't let your children have sleepovers okay don't allow your children to go and sleep over at someone else's house it only takes one night to destroy your child's life like yeah but these are people that we know you don't really know them and so don't roll the dice on that you know it's dangerous you know they don't need to have sleepovers that's not necessarily I've heard of horror stories of parents who allow the children to have sleepovers and it literally ruined their their children their child's life and even to this day and so don't leave them to themselves Proverbs 29 15 says the rod and reproof give wisdom but a child left to himself and bring it to his mother to shame and so just a lot of practical things here and I hope it helped some of you and save it for later and again if you have any questions you can see my wife regarding the the full feeding method there and if not then you know just keep doing what you're doing we're just here to help you man guys are you guys ready for the Olympics let's pray who is that TJ right let's pray father we thank you so much for your word and we're so thankful for the promises and the principles that we could extrapolate from there I pray to you bless our time together Lord bless the kids olympics and also pizza to follow the fellowship and all there is we love you we thank you pray these things in Jesus name amen and then our last song 145 it is well my soul sorry number 145 see on that first verse when peace like Oh my soul it is well with my soul it is well though Satan ah let red cry as regarded by and his own it is well with my soul it is well my soul my sin this my and I no praise my soul it is well with my soul it is well my soul see on that last verse and Lord hate the day when my faith shall be the clouds we roll back as a scroll Oh Oh it is well with my soul it is well it is well with my soul amen wonderful seeing you are dismissed