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Alright guys Conflict. How do you feel about? Conflict conflict in your life. Are you the kind of person that tends to avoid conflict? You're the kind of person that tends to gravitate towards conflict. I know I have found in my life I found myself on both ends of that the sermon that you're about to watch is called conflict versus groupthink so what groupthink is Is this phenomenon where members of a group will conform to the majority opinion for sake of the harmony of the group and one of the dangers of that is When the group or the masses are wrong, okay, the wrong about something they're going in the wrong direction What do we do about that? What do we do in that situation? For example numbers chapter 14? Moses sends out the twelve spies to look at the promised land Twelve spies come back ten of them give an evil report and say hey, this isn't worth it Let's make a captain and bounce right back to Egypt But you got two guys with courage that are not afraid of conflict in this situation They rise up and say hey, this isn't right. We can take it if Lord delight in us We can take the promised land. These people will be bred for us And so we're gonna dive into that and we're gonna unpack that I'm gonna give you some tips on how to handle conflict Properly, I think this will definitely be a blessing to you guys and just one thing for you to think about real quick Okay, if you find yourself more often than not saying, you know, I really want to avoid all conflict Okay, and what you got to understand is that you can avoid conflict but conflict will not avoid you So here's brother skulk reading from Ephesians chapter 2. God bless Ephesians chapter 2 Starting in verse 1 and You have the quickened who were dead in trespasses and sins Wherein time past you walked according to the course of this world according to the prince of the power of the air The spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the last of our flesh fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind and where by nature the children and were by nature the children of wrath Even as others But God who is rich in mercy for his great love wherewith he loved us Even when we were dead and sins have quickened us together with Christ by grace. Are you saved and Have raised us up together and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus That in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus for by grace Are you safe through faith and that not of yourselves? It is the gift of God not of works lest any man should boast For we are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in him Wherefore remember that ye being in time past Gentiles in the flesh who are called uncircumcision By that which is called the circumcision in the flesh made by hands that at that time you were without Christ Being aliens from the Commonwealth of Israel and strangers from the covenants of promise having no hope and without God in this world Without God in the world But now in Christ Jesus you were sometimes were far off or made nigh by the blood of Christ For he is our peace with made both one and have broken down the middle wall of partition between us Having abolished in his flesh the enmity even the law of commandments Commandments contained in the ordinances for to make in himself of twain one new man so making peace and that he might reconcile both unto God in one body by the cross having slain the enmity thereby and Came and preached peace to you which were afar off and to them that were nigh for through him We both have access by one spirit unto the Father now therefore you are no more strangers and foreigners But fellow citizens with the Saints and of the household of God and Are built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets Jesus Christ himself being the chief Cornerstone in him all the building fitly framed together groweth unto an holy temple in the Lord in whom he also are builded together for the Inhabitation of God through the spirit for the Christian we're preface. All right. Amen Ephesians chapter number two So in Ephesians chapter two we read in fact, let's just look at this real quick look at verse 16 so verse 16 And Paul says and that he might reconcile both unto God in one body by the cross having slain The enmity thereby and so Paul here is trying to demonstrate how in times past there was space there was a great deal of space between Gentiles and Jews and now obviously if you're saved you're under one body and that's because of what Jesus Did that's because he's slain or destroyed Okay, got rid of this enmity this hostility this conflict It was between us and he put us both into one body And so what we're gonna do is we're gonna talk this morning about conflict And now how many of you you don't have to raise your hand? But how many of you would maybe say there's a somebody you either know or you've experienced this yourself We think you know, I really don't like conflict. I really just don't like it. It's it's not my thing. It's hard It makes me feel bad and I would say I agree with you, you know I mean, I definitely agree with you conflict is not always a good thing however, it is needful and what you're gonna learn this morning is that if you Hold on to this attitude where like okay, you know, I'm just not going to have any kind of a conflict I just think that going through life with no conflict is the best option for me What you're gonna find is that you can avoid conflict but conflict will not avoid you So we're gonna break that down this morning. I'm gonna have you guys go to numbers chapter 14 In the Old Testament numbers chapter number 14, and we're gonna call this conflict versus group think Conflict versus group think if you're wondering what in the world is group think group think is something Believe it or not. I actually learned from Uncle Sam Kind of a weird deal here, but it's a true phenomenon. Okay. Well, basically group think is this practice of thinking or making decisions in a group that discourages any kind of outside opinion Creativity or any kind of individual responsibility and it's actually you might be able to make the case that okay well, there's a time and a place for a group think for this type of Mentality and you'd probably be right but I would say more often than not especially as believers. It's not good Okay, it's not a good thing because what it does and you're gonna see this in numbers is it discourages courage It's what it does. It takes your courage away Because the whole point of group think is to want to be part of the group. Okay, it's this phenomenon Hey, we're a group and you see this in all kinds of organizations where you get a group of people together They've got a lot of common interests. They've got a common goal and members of the group they're going to conform to the majority opinion to Maintain group harmony and they will not speak up. They will not voice their opinion. They will not voice Any concerns or maybe ideas that they have for fear that they will be ostracized from that group Okay, and you're gonna look here in numbers 14 and clearly clearly see that take place here So if you know the story here, you know your you know your books here You know numbers chapter 13 Moses had sent out his spies to spy out the land of Canaan to spy out the promised land And it gives you a detailed list of who all went. Okay, so you got these 12 spies that go out and They go they spy the land and they see all the wonderful things that Moses had brought up But of course they see an obstacle in the way and they see these men of great stature They see Giants inland they see obstacles. So we've talked about this before they see the grapes They see the promised land. They see the space they see all the blessings Okay, but what overshadows all of that is the obstacle and they're thinking well how in the world are we going to overcome? These obstacles here. So at the end of numbers chapter 13 They all come back and they begin to report to Moses what they had seen and they're like, yeah It's just like you said you got these grapes. They're big everything is wonderful and great. However, okay There's these people there and we can't defeat him. Well, there's two people that rise up and Go contrary to what the group thinks. Okay, and that is Caleb and Joshua And so Caleb stills the people and he's like, hey, these people are bred for us. We can overcome these people God will deliver these people into our hands you turn over to chapter 14 And and what you're gonna read here is that the children of Israel say hey, you know enough of this It was a fun dream it was cool to talk about but we've seen reality and what we need to do is we need to make a Captain to take us back to Egypt. Hey think about that We're gonna we need to make a captain to take us back into Egypt now Look down at verse Let's just start at verse 1 here. We got time. Look at verse 1 so it says in all the congregation lifted up their voice and cried and the people wept that night and all the children of Israel murmured against Moses and against Aaron and the whole Congregation said unto them Would God that we had died in the land of Egypt or would God we had died in this Wilderness and think about the attitude here. This is the group attitude and it says the whole congregation Okay And oftentimes when you read that in the Bible It doesn't always necessarily mean 100% of the people because we just talked about this We know that Joshua and Caleb have other plans. They go against the grain They're swimming upstream. So to speak. Okay. Look at verse 3 And wherefore hath the Lord brought us unto this land to fall by the sword? That our wives and our children should be a prey Were it not better for us to return into Egypt? Look at the accusation that these people are making against God They're accusing God of bringing them this far just to kill them in the wilderness That is blasphemy. So if you ever wonder are people ever come at you and say hey You know, what's up with the God of the Old Testament how he's always getting mad at those people Did he really have to ban him from the Promised Land? Think about this here Think about what this really means and what they're really saying. They're literally spitting in God's face Complete disregard for all the miracles that he'd already done and rescuing them from Egypt all the signs all the wonders that he did for him That's all for not they've got no faith. No trust whatsoever. So they're already talking about it here Let's go back to Egypt now look at verse 4 And they said one to another Let us make a captain and let us return in to Egypt So again, here's what the group thinks their opinion is. Hey, God's not gonna help us He brought us here to kill us. We need to do our own thing and we need to go back Okay Now look at verse number five then Moses and Aaron fell on their faces before all the assembly Of the congregation of the children of Israel now, it's no wonder Okay, when you get further in the book further in the story and God says hey go speak to the rock He takes the rod and he just smashes. Okay, look it's because of things like this. This isn't the only time this happens Okay There's a pattern with these people here verse 6 in Joshua the son of Nun and Caleb the son of Jephunneh Which were of them that searched the land rent their clothes So, of course these two are the opposing forces here these two they're ready for conflict They're ready to say, you know what? I don't care what this group thinks. The masses are not always right this requires confrontation okay verse number seven and they spake unto all the company of the children of Israel saying The land which we have passed through to search it is an exceeding Good land if the Lord delight in us Then he will bring us into this land and give it us a land which floweth with milk and honey now Here's the picture right here in verse number nine Only rebel not ye against the Lord neither fear you the people of the land for they are bred for us Their defense is departed from them and the Lord is with us fear them not so who gets honored in this story Okay The people with the collective group think the majority the masses or the minority the two that said you know What what they're saying is not true their traditions their path their way Though they be many it's not right. It's not true. We need to stand up to them and have conflict We need to confront them and say guess what? This isn't true. Okay, this isn't true We need to possess the land we can do it. The Lord is on our side Obviously, you know the story who lives the longest. Okay, who well obviously I mean when Caleb's four score years old he tells Joshua is like hey, you know, I've got the same strength I had back in the day You know God had preserved his muscle mass preserved his life and allowed him to go into the Promised Land the same with Joshua He took command after Moses So God honors the people that are willing to have courage in the midst of the masses in the midst of people that are going To the wrong direction and guess what? That's a lot of pressure, right? That's a lot of pressure if you've ever been in this situation where you know, hey, this isn't right I know everybody's got this reputation and they're this and they're that and they're going this direction But I'm looking back here and I'm seeing that this is disaster. This isn't right Okay, and if I say something they're gonna come after me Okay, if you've ever been in that situation and you're right, you know You ought to you ought to thank God that you had the courage to actually stand up to that And if you've been in that situation and you just decided to plug yourself into the group to make easy Street I want to encourage you this morning to learn from the story Because that is not going to help anybody out. You want to be the Joshua you want to be the Caleb in the Bible? But look at what happens. This is what you have to understand is going to happen to you when you do that Look at verse 10 but all the congregation Bade stone them with stones you see that there. That's what happens You know sometimes when you stand up to people and you stand up to the group They're going to want to kill you They're going to want to lynch you hang you out to dry But look at what happens next in the verse in the glory of the Lord appeared in the tabernacle of the congregation before all the children of Israel so obviously God is not going to allow these two guys here to get stone to be taken out He's going to basically deal with this generation deal with this group and make himself a new one, which is gonna be their offspring now You can leave your place there in numbers. We're done with that, but go to 2nd Timothy chapter number 1 2nd Timothy chapter number 1 So again You know you can avoid conflict but conflict will not avoid you and I think that's definitely something that Joshua and Caleb Realized at some point in their lives. I mean it's realized. Hey, you know if we fail To report honestly and to report the fact that God didn't go through all that trouble Bringing us out of Egypt part the Red Sea hey part the Red Sea just to bring us here and kill us I Think they obviously realize that and said to themselves. God's definitely gonna. Give us this land. He's definitely going to Put this in our future in our children's future just like he said so therefore Hey, we ought not to rebel against that we are not to go against that in fact We ought to go against these people here and rise up against them, and it almost cost them their lives however God intervened so 2nd Timothy chapter number 1 look at verse number 7 The Bible says for God has not given us the spirit of fear But of power and of love and of a sound mind And you need to memorize that you need to have that at your disposal going through life because you especially this crowd here Okay, believing the Bible believing what we believe in taking the stands that we stand you are going to have conflict in your life You will have conflict with your family with your so-called friends with your co-workers With other people that come to visit the church out soul-winning. I mean this is a breeding ground for conflict That's just what this is man, and so this is obviously very needful now go to Galatians chapter number 2 Galatians chapter number 2 there's obviously various types of conflict There's good conflict, and there's bad conflict. We're gonna spend some time here talking about conflict and Confrontation and you might think well. What's the difference we oftentimes use these words interchangeably? But a conflict is more broad a conflict is basically a clash between values needs interests things of that nature whereas a Confrontation is a specific address. It's kind of like what you see Caleb And Joshua do here to the crowd and it's what you're gonna see Paul Do here a couple times in the Bible, and I'm bringing this up because what I want you to see here Is that when conflict is used to afflict? Confrontation will bring restoration okay, that is what I want you to remember this morning So Galatians chapter number 2 look down at verse number 11 We're gonna look at this problem here with Peter and Paul And it's gonna highlight some interesting things for us look at verse number 11 says but so obviously Paul's trying to get these Galatians out of the spell of the Judaizers that had come in and tried to pervert the gospel, and he says, but when Peter was come to Antioch I Withstood him to the face. That's pretty harsh like why would you do that Paul? What's going on here? Hey, but it's it tells you look Because he was to be blamed And now we're gonna get to this here in a moment okay in a little bit, but notice here that He well if you've read the chapter what you're gonna. See is that he does this in front of everybody Okay, so when Peter comes to Antioch he just withstands him to the face in front of the entire congregation in front of the entire church Okay in front of everybody that's here, and you might be thinking well. What about Matthew 18? I know there'd be people there. What about Matthew 18? What about Matthew 18 didn't take him aside privately He did this in front of everybody. It's because this conflict was so grievous It's because Peter was an apostle and knew better, and so he's able to bypass those initial steps And this is much more serious than just a beef between two people this affects an entire group in fact This affects the Jews the Jewish believers and the Gentile believers, okay, so look at verse 11 one more time But Peter says, but when Peter was come to Antioch I Withstood him to the face because he was to be blamed For before that certain came from James, and this is gonna tell you the problem okay, so before that certain came from James He did eat with the Gentiles, but when they were come he withdrew and separated himself Fearing them which were of the circumcision Okay, and so this is something that had to really be ironed out In if I could use this phrase in the early church days Okay When this was really starting to get rolled out there was a lot of problems going from the synagogue to the congregation A lot of issues there and the Jews didn't want to give up a lot of their Traditions that they had had and one of them was that you don't mix you don't Jews don't eat with Gentiles Gentiles Don't eat with Jews this isn't right, but what Paul is trying to communicate to Peter here is hey You're not walking according to the gospel. What's the gospel they were all saved the same exact way It's always been that way, but the gospel Clearly communicates that we're all one in Christ Jesus. We're all sinners We're all the same and therefore there's no difference between us So why are you treating the Jews one way in the Gentiles another by doing that you're actually Not being a good ambassador for the gospel Okay, so that's the problem here now This also tells us that traditions need to be challenged from time to time Hey popular traditions popular things that we do popular things that you do at work popular traditions. Maybe you've had in your family Sometimes those things need to be challenged especially if there is any kind of a conflict and in this situation What is the conflict the conflict is space the conflict is Peter is putting space in between? brothers in between Christians and that cannot be allowed and Paul recognizes that and says I'm no stranger to conflict I'm going to confront you okay, so the first point that I want to make this morning is this Conflict creates change hey conflict creates change, and it's either gonna be good or it's gonna be bad Okay conflict creates change either good or bad now ask yourself What would have happened in this conflict if Paul didn't make a confrontation if he didn't get involved? What would have happened well the distance would have spread it would have gotten greater And it would have gone unresolved and it would have done a disservice to the gospel to the truth of the gospel That's the whole point here so go to Acts chapter number 13 But keep your place there in Galatians because we are going to come back to it So Again every conflict creates something when you hear conflict of any sort okay? Whether it is good or whether it is bad or whether it's bad that becomes good Conflict creates okay, and there's going to be change And I want you to see that here again in Acts chapter number 13 so obviously here. We've got Paul Preaching the gospel, and there's a man who wants to hear the gospel in the story and so Paul and Barnabas They're like cool. Let's go down there and give him the gospel hey, but there's a problem the ESV gets in the way And I'm gonna show you that you might be thinking. They had the ESV back then they did. I'll show you here Okay, look at verse 6 So it says and when they had gone through the aisle unto Paphos they found a certain sorcerer a false prophet a Jew whose name was bar Jesus now look at verse 7 Which was with the deputy of the country Sergius Paul, it's a prudent man remember prudent. That's good That's what we want somebody who looks well to the going so this guy's prudent He's like hey, I've heard you know some jists here about the gospel. I want to hear the truth I want to hear it from Paul's mouth. I want to hear what this salvation is okay? So it says a prudent man verse 7 who called for Barnabas and Saul And desire to hear the word of God now enter in conflict okay look at verse 8 But Elimis the sorcerer okay, ESV Elimis the sorcerer version okay, but Elimis the sorcerer for so is his name by interpretation withstood them seeking to turn away the Deputy from the faith now. What does Elimis the sorcerers conflict doing? it's creating space between the deputy between somebody wanting salvation and Obviously the guys administering salvation, okay He's trying to create distance between the truth and people ready to receive the truth And that is bad and that cannot go unchecked and we all know that and understand that look at verse number 9 Then Saul who is or who also is called Paul filled with the Holy Ghost Set his eyes on him now This is really what you're about to read a slap in the face to these Pacifists out there today these new evangelical pacifists to say no conflict Jesus was just all Just smooth road man. Just never got mad just kept us cool. Never got upset with anybody Okay, that you could tell they obviously don't read these things here but verse 10 so Paul being full of what or of who Holy Ghost and said oh full of all subtlety and all mischief thou child of the devil thou enemy of all Righteousness will thou not cease to pervert the right ways of the Lord now We could almost park this here for the rest of the morning this speaks volumes to what a child of the devil will do a Child of the devil is going to what well he is going to pervert truth pervert the gospel next He is going to try to prevent the gospel prevent the truth. Okay, and then under these circumstances Obviously, we don't have what Paul's about to do here I wish we did I would be smiting half the city would be blind about now. Okay, I'm telling you Yeah, you all know that I wouldn't even have to do it. I'd be fighting with you guys Okay, that was my guy. I wanted to blind him not you. That's my turn. Okay? But we don't have that luxury But the point is this is a situation. Okay when someone is trying to create space between the truth Okay that you know what the only way you can resolve that is through confrontation That is just the way that it is now I'm not saying we go out and we fistfight people or whatnot we have to do this smart game But what I know and I could just tell from being a soul winner is the limous isn't gonna give up It's why Paul blinds him hey. He isn't gonna give up He's gonna keep coming and you guys have all seen it where you get this guy He's you're giving somebody the gospel we're at an apartment complex, and then guess what deputy Barney five comes along and guess what? I'm the sheriff of this complex. I'm the sheriff around here, and you can't be here no soliciting Okay, and he won't leave you alone, or she won't leave you alone, and they want to follow you again Unfortunately in that situation harsh speech and just a direct you know Tell them like you need to leave you get out of here that is necessary okay That's not necessary with every conversation or every person who won't believe the Bible But in that situation we have to figure out a way To basically allow us to continue to preach the gospel and that's exactly what we see here This is exactly what Paul does look at verse 11, so he continues, and he says and now Behold the hand of the Lord is upon thee and thou Shall be blind not seeing the Sun for a season and immediately there fell on him amidst Amidst and a darkness, and he went out and went about seeking some to lead him by the hand And what was the result of this look at verse 12 than the deputy when he saw what was done believed being? astonished at the doctrine of the Lord so this Conflict here this confrontation that Paul gets into here by blinding this individual here Resulted in salvation and it resulted in the salvation go back to Galatians chapter 2 And it also kind of tells us what we need to do in this situation Okay, and if you can remember this this is going to help you out tremendously for the rest of your life And when to engage in confrontation and so before you engage in confrontation you have to ask yourself What is this going to create? That's it. What will this create before I engage this person before I confront this person before I Decide which words to use am I going to use some harsh truth to try to blind this person Okay, you have to ask yourself What could this possibly create is this going to create problems for the people next to me is this going to create problems for? My kids is this going to create problems for my co-workers is this you know? Or is this going to create a solution like Joshua and Caleb they knew the answer they knew that Serving the Lord was what they wanted to do they had remembered the faith of Moses and Aaron Which led them out of Egypt they remembered that and realized hey? You know God wouldn't bring us this far just to abandon us now, so why not go against the grain? Why not face the masses here? Why not confront this group think and just suffer the consequences? Okay, kick us out of your group. We don't care We'd rather be right than be wrangled up in to your group so before engaging in conflict ask yourself What is this going to create is this going to be good or is am I doing this for pride reasons? Okay, am I doing this to look good in the boss's eyes am I doing this to look good in my peers eyes? Or is this for the better in the advancement of what we actually have going on here, okay? So remember that before engaging in conflict ask yourself What is this going to create obviously Joshua and Caleb knew this is going to create us being on the Lord's side? This is going to create truth This is going to create faith at some point in time and obviously Paul here realized hey engaging this conflict is going to create a salvation Or is it least going to get us the gospel to the deputy he asked for us to be here And so we need to get this guy out of the way gang again with Peter Why did Paul say you know what I need to stop this guy right now? I need to get in his face and have a conversation in front of everybody Because he needed to restore that space that that conflict had created and the only way to do that was with an immediate immediate Confrontation okay, so just ask yourself. What is this conflict going to create you know just just kind of think about it real quick in your Head what could possibly happen? It's like playing chess if I move this pawn here What could get me you know you start thinking like that you're going to make better decisions and have fewer regrets So look at verse 13 now Galatians chapter 2 verse 13, so we'll finish the story here So Paul just got done telling us that Peter had feared the circumcision, and that's why you know when James's crew showed up He's like. I'm gonna eat with you guys separate over here and kind of leave these Antioch Syrian guys by themselves it's verse 13 it says and the other Jews Dissembled likewise with them in so much that Barnabas also was carried away with their Dissimulation so again Peter's actions here. They're spreading right. They're spreading to other people. It's Affecting other believers here, and so Paul's like I got to stop this right now Okay Having a conversation with Peter aside alone in a room and doing the Matthew 18 and pleasing the Matthew 18 Auditors that are out there is not always the best solution sometimes things need to be stopped dead in the tracks especially when they affect other People okay when they affect other people when you got a beef And it's just you and another person and you're like okay This doesn't affect anybody else handle that beef in the other room or something and just get over it. Okay. That's totally fine But when it affects other people like this it's got to be sometimes addressed in front of other people so verse 14 But when I saw that they walked Not uprightly according to the truth of the gospel I said unto Peter before them all if thou being a Jew Livest after the manner of Gentiles and not as do the Jews why compel us thou the Gentiles to live as Do the Jews head and so again? What do we see here we see that Paul withstood Peter before them all? Why because he needs to restore the space that the conflict that Peter had brought Implemented so he needed to put this to bed get this out of the way and of course. What was the situation? Well the situation at Antioch was that the believers came together, and they realized okay. Hey, you're right Paul This is not the correct way to behave in fact This is teaching the opposite of what we're preaching in the way that we're living this hypocrisy is not doing anyone any good and so Therefore it needs to be checked And so the question now is what if Paul had delayed this what if Paul said man Peter was with Christ you know that three and a half years, and he's just been through so much and I really just don't want to upset him and Maybe I just out of weight. What would have happened you already know look verse 13 and the other Jews Disassembled likewise with him insomuch that Barnabas also was carried away with her dissimulation It would have gotten worse and worse and worse and worse and so what I'm going to say here for the second point Is that if you put off conflict okay? Go ahead and put off conflict and conflict will put you on conflict will wear you it will come after you and it will Multiply it will inflame it will enlarge and it will be ten times harder to deal with Now go to Titus chapter number two Titus chapter number two so delaying conflict that is necessary is just going to only make things worse Not only that but what you're what we're doing when we do this is we're Really eroding the boundaries that we've set up We've established and we're telling people how we want to be treated We're saying yeah, you can just walk all over me You can just do whatever you want to because I'm not gonna stop you. I'm not gonna do anything about it, okay? I'm kind of reminded of the situation with Saul and David. I mean Saul's like I Don't like you. I've got this javelin in my hand. No. There's a target man I'm gonna kill you David and David flees and comes back You know guess what same thing another time. You know. I don't know if I if I can read you guys pretty well I'm guessing you got one javelin in you and you're gonna bounce If you're like me whereas David obviously man after God's own heart, and there's other issues involved in that you know The point is you know if you allow this to continue whatever the conflict that is in your life You allow that to go unchecked okay that space that that conflict is creating will only get broader and broader and broader It'll be just much much much much more Difficult for you to solve that later on so let's look at a few things here We're gonna look at like four different scriptures. We're gonna start here right in Titus chapter 2 look at verse 15 So Paul tells Titus to have conflict look at this these things speak and Exhort and rebuke with all Authority now look what he tells Titus let no man despise thee okay Let no man despise thee so we don't want to allow people to despise us Especially when we are in the right and we're teaching right things. We're communicating truth, okay We don't have to allow people to despise us now. I get it. I get we should allow ourselves to be defrauded Okay with brothers and sisters, but there's a formula. I'm gonna give you for that In a minute okay now go Backwards a couple of books in your Bible to first Timothy and go to first Timothy chapter number four You're gonna see this phrase four times And there's many more I could have gone to but we don't have time to get into them all and that is this let No, man, okay Paul tells these guys over and over hey let no man meaning you have Authorization to live according to the truth of the gospel and you do not have to be a doormat You don't have to allow people to step on you and to boss you around and to make you feel bad and To basically steer you in a direction that is contrary to the truth You have the right to stand up to them look at first 12 of first Timothy chapter 4 Paul says Timothy let no man Despise thy youth, but be thou an example of the believers in word in conversation and charity and spirit and faith and purity now Why do you see this phrase so many times in the Bible? It's because of group think it's because when the masses get together Okay, it forms this phenomenon this invisible chart this invisible checklist If you want to be cool if you want to be accepted you're gonna meet this this this and this it's never printed out It's never really openly discussed But it's implemented kind of subconsciously in these groups in which you have to be is you have to be this right here Hey, I'm not gonna let you despise my youth. I'm not gonna let you despise my age I'm not gonna let you despise how long I've been saved I am going to follow what the Word of God says whether you like it or not Yeah, whether it goes contrary to your goals and your opinions doesn't matter go to Colossians chapter number two. I Mean Paul literally tells every church this every single New Testament Church this over and over and over again I'm just giving you something to chew on just something for you to go back and really dig deeper into Colossians chapter 2 look at verse 16 Look at what Paul says to the Colossians here let no man therefore judge you in meat or in drink or in Respect of an holiday or of the new moon or of the Sabbath days Yeah, and again, you know, I've seen Guys do this to the seventh day guys out here, right? They're just like you're going to hell We don't believe in hell, but you're going there because you go to church on Wednesday and Sunday Well, I'm not gonna let you do that to me. Okay, I'm actually going to say you're wrong. Okay, you're wrong That's not what the Bible teaches. And if that offends you, I'm sorry. Actually. I'm not sorry. Just go to hell. I mean it's At that point, you know, you're you're pretty much gone. It is what it is Alright two more real quick go to 1st Corinthians chapter number 10 And we're gonna go backwards just same book to chapter 3 but go to 1st Corinthians chapter number 10 And look down at verse 24 Let no man seek his own but every man another's wealth Yeah, let no man seek his own but every man another's wealth I was looking around the other day I got this advertisement for some Bible you were it's not a Bible college It's just basically a subscription to a church and they're like come learn the Bible with us. It's 47 for basically 50 bucks a month, but if you want to be a premium member, man It's ninety seven dollars a month and and this will bypass Bible College, you know, there's a Bible College is a joke But just subscribe to my program I'll teach you how to read the Bible how to understand it how to have your best life in the here and now This is what churches aren't teaching today and I can teach you that What happened to buy the truth and selling out what happened to this let no man seek his own but every man another's wealth Hey, you see they read that and they're like, I'm gonna seek your money. I'm gonna see your money I'm gonna take all your money. They're reading this incorrectly. Hey, Chuck. Could you imagine if we did that? You know, I mean we'd probably be able to buy a building because but what would be the result? We get all kinds of people that don't want to hear the truth We'd be basically getting the guys that Joshua and Caleb had to withstood or had to withstand You know, they had to had conflict with the people that are like let's go back to Egypt Okay, but the point is, you know, we don't want this culture in our church where everybody's just seeking their own You know, you're just seeking their own advancement their own goals and their own agenda now, obviously you all have your own jobs You have your own lives and I'm not getting involved in that, you know, just a quick disclaimer there. I understand that Okay, but when we come together as a church, what's the goal? There's two of them and you already know it I'm not even gonna tell you. Okay, go back to chapter 3 1st Corinthians chapter number 3 One more here one more verse 21 1st Corinthians 3 verse 21 So again, all of these that are that we're reading here these let no man's go look them up on your own time Let no man. Okay, they require confrontation they require Conflict. Okay, that is what they require of you and I 1st Corinthians 3 verse 21 Paul says therefore let no man glory in men for all Things are yours and this is you know, why? And I and we don't have this here we used to But when people start lifting other people up on a pedestal and just like oh we couldn't do what they're doing We couldn't do what they do. Okay, that needs to be checked and you need to do it It's not just me. You need to be like, hey, that's not what the Bible says. All things are ours I've got the same Holy Ghost that that person has I got the same Holy Ghost that that believer has We've got the same Bible the same truth in the same gospel We can do just as much if I mean as they can if God allows us to okay Which why wouldn't he why would he bring us this far just to throw us in the trash? You see what I'm saying? Conflict is necessary conflict is necessary because what happens sometimes this attitude will creep into a church here and What it does is it prevents you from doing God's will it puts space between the mission and the? Missionaries so to speak which are us. Okay, so that's why I like to check this attitude when it pops up Therefore let no man glory in men for all things are yours. It's what these guys are doing. Well, I'm of Apollo's I'm of Paul. I'm of this guy that guy Peter. Oh, I'm a Thaddeus Okay, and Paul's like you guys are crazy And this is why you're not doing anything for God is because you're just looking at these people as an idol Okay, and they don't think of themselves this way, you know, they're like, hey, we got our own issues We've got our own problems, but we have the same body. We're in the same congregation We have the same Lord and Savior and guess what? He told us all to go out gave us all truth So let's just put that childish crap away and get marching and get moving on now go to Proverbs chapter number 15 Proverbs chapter number 15 So again put off conflict and conflict will put on you it will wear you it will wear you down You have to decide hey this situation is conflict and then you got to come up with a strategy and you got to say to yourself hey, I Need to make a confrontational act here I need to do something about this But what's it gonna create? Okay, that's gonna help you make a prudent decision on when and how to say what you need to say now Let's just real quickly because we're talking about conflict. Let's talk about beefs between people. Okay, I learned this a very long time ago I had a preacher many many years ago, and he had the whiteboard I was gonna do this, but I was like I've had enough whiteboard Lately you're things annoying. But anyways, it was the letter three I'm sorry, the number three the letter B the number four and then the letter E Okay, so three before E and what he meant by that was allow somebody three infractions before an engagement And and so let's say you make a friend and that person Maybe it's kind of rude to you and like a public setting maybe trying to put you down a little bit Okay, that doesn't mean you need to pounce on him right away. Okay, maybe that person's having a bad day Maybe they're new maybe you know, there's a lot of variables in life Okay, and so what you do is you remember that you say you know what? Okay, that's kind of interesting I'm not gonna act on that. I'm gonna not gonna you know react or whatever I'm just gonna remember that and just kind of Hope that goes away doesn't happen again if it happens again. Okay. Now you really need to pay attention Okay, because you could be leading to a third time here So the person offends you again And I'm talking like kind of a minor thing like an off-handed thing like, you know, I don't know You know how people put each other down. Okay, you everybody has been in that situation. I don't want to bring up any Stories about it. You just know what I'm talking about. Okay, so you remember that it's okay. Well, that's the second time now They do it again Hey, they do it again saying, you know what you really suck or whatever You need to address it at that point in time Okay, three before you three infractions before an engagement because what the number three is in the Bible we've gone over this It's the number of completions. So it's just a good rule of thumb that if somebody does something like that to you three times It's a pattern. Okay, and you can take this to the bank. Okay. I want you to think of this in your own life Have you ever known somebody to do this to you where anytime you get in front of somebody and maybe you had a success? Maybe you got a promotion at work. Maybe something good happened. Maybe you did something good Maybe your boss say hey, you know what you did back there was good do more of that and somebody tries to undermine that Okay, they try to play that down and make you you know a little bit less and your moments kind of given you Okay that situation when people keep doing that and they do it three times you can bet they're gonna keep doing it to you Okay, and what that's gonna do is that's gonna create a space between you and this person Now a lot of times what people will do is they'll use this tactic Narcissists are especially good at this where they will do that and then when you get mad They'll be I didn't really mean that, you know, and and they'll try to make you think that you're close together again Okay And what happens is by doing that you get this yo-yo effect and before you know it this yo-yo effect this space No space space no space. What happens is they're controlling you like a dog They've got you on a leash and they're gonna take you wherever they want you The only way out of that is to engage them is to confront them and say hey You know you did you just said this to me and I didn't really appreciate it, you know Like what's your point in doing that? Oh, I didn't really mean that Well interesting because you know three four weeks ago you did the same thing and actually, you know a couple weeks before that You did it again, you know, so I'm starting to recognize a pattern here Okay And then at that moment in time one of two things are gonna happen that person will either depart from you because they realize they Can't control you or they're gonna be like dang. I've I got some character issues I need to work on myself because I don't want to lose you as a friend Okay, and you can then what you can then build that relationship that conflict is going to increase that relationship or it's gonna put you in a good space to get rid of that person Proverbs 15 look at verse number one a Soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger So just remember that when you want to engage somebody. Okay. What is the outcome that you're looking for? What is your goal? What are your desires? What are you hoping that this confrontation or this conflict is going to create do you want to restore this relationship? Or do you need to end this relationship? Think about that before you engage that person? Do I need to use a soft answer or do I need to maybe you know? Use some some more grievous words more often than not the soft answer is gonna take care of everything But there are situations and I like to bring up soul and there are times when people leave their dormitories They leave their apartments. They leave their homes to try to follow us Okay, and unfortunately only a harsh response and a grievous word is going to be able to solve that now What we like to tell the ladies is it's probably better if you don't do that I'm not gonna get mad if you do do that, but most guys are gonna be less likely to Try to square up with you. So it's better to just come get one of us so that we can do it You know, I think that's that's that's better if possible Now I do know some tough ladies and some of these churches and I've seen them go head-to-head with people And it's funny and it works out sometimes but I'm just saying it's general thumb, you know There's nothing wrong with you. Just you know, someone's coming after you ladies. Just go find one of us real quick I take care of it. One of these guys will take care of it and we'll get you safe Go to Philippians chapter number one. We're getting close to being done Philippians chapter number one All right, so just a quick review here. Okay, you can avoid conflict but conflict will not avoid you. We're in this fight We're in this battle this battle called life and it comes with conflict and the unfortunate part is the only way to resolve Conflict is through confrontation of some sorts okay, now hopefully we advocate for the soft response the soft words in a chance to to restore space that's been Created by that conflict, but you know Sometimes that is not always the case and that's because conflict creates change It creates a change in the relationship. It creates distance. It creates space and you know, it just it has to be dealt with So, let's look at something here, okay Philippians chapter 1 look at verse number 30 I didn't want to preach the sermon without mentioning the two times that conflict is actually used in the Bible But look at this here verse 30 Philippians 1 verse 30. Paul says this having this same Conflict which he saw in me and now here to be in Me Go to Colossians chapter 2 So Paul tells the Philippians here that he's got a conflict and his conflict is the fact that he's not able to be with them Okay, he wants to be physically with them to pray for them There's just to kind of have that fellowship and to visit but he's busy. He has a mission. He's actually having to also Simultaneously defend himself in trial after trial on his way to Rome And so he's got this conflict for people to be edified conflict for people to be saved And so he tells me I've got this great conflict for you guys and this is a good use of the word conflict here not a clash or a battle so to speak but Colossians 2 look at verse number 1 So Paul says to the Colossians this is for I would that she knew what great Conflict I have for you and for them at Laodicea and for as many as have not Seen my face in the flesh and so the third point I just wanted to kind of leave you with is this and this conflict can create compassion Okay, it can create compassion You know I was thinking about this that conflict creates space and they keep saying that and I think that the phrase Absence makes the heart grow fonder kind of plays into this, you know so just think about that the next time you're in a conflict with somebody and there needs to be a Confrontation that that space that's been created that distance, you know that can later be turned into compassion, you know, you can grow With that person, especially when you work the problem out go to Hebrews chapter 10 We got two more verses Hebrews chapter number 10, you know, especially when you work out these issues You know when you're seeing other people struggle, which is what Paul is doing. He's looking at the Philippians He's looking at the Colossians and if they're doing good They got some good things going on But they've got some struggles and he wants to be there to physically help them and to see them through it And so what that did is that developed this great internal good type of conflict inside of him Which is what we need to have with us because that can breed compassion Okay, actually all of these conflicts that we've kind of looked at breed compassion. Okay, even going back to Joshua and Caleb Okay That compassion did spread to some other people that compassion is why they're written down in the Word of God And we were able in today's day and age to read that and to learn from that and to be admonished for that And to be like wow, you know, we want to be like them not like the masses not like the crowd so Hebrews chapter 10 look at look at verse 34 So, of course Paul here I believe says this For he had compassion of me in my bonds and took joyfully The spoiling of your goods knowing in yourselves that ye have in heaven a better and an enduring substance Okay compassion is really a subject that warrants an entire sermon, but we've kind of danced around that issue the last few weeks So I'm not gonna bother it too much The point being here is that that should be the goal. How can I get this conflict? How can I confront somebody in hopes to? Ignite compassion and to care about that person and how we got here in the first place Okay, go to first John last verse first John chapter number three first John chapter number three And let's see what John says about this word compassion Of course the whole book of Hebrews is conflict again going back to traditions versus the truth of the gospel It's really in a nutshell what what the book is about and what did it lead to compassion? Okay, verse 17 first John 3. Look at what John says here He says but who so hath this world's good and see if this brother have need and shutteth up his bowels of His bowels of compassion from him how Dwelleth the love of God in him verse 18 my little children. Let us not love in word Neither in tongue, but indeed and in truth. Okay, and so again, especially amongst believers This is the goal here. Remember three before e three infractions before an engagement I think is a very good rule to follow before you confront somebody and you can say what about Paul in the Galatians? Well, I mean Peter was an apostle I mean how many how many chances does he need by this point in time? I mean think about all the crazy things that even Peter has done for the gospel the great things the people he got and saved The miracles he's done the trust that Christ had given him. Okay, Paul's like there's no need for a Matthew 18 We've we're past that like this needs to be settled in the here and now what do you read later on in Peter's epistles? He's like hey respect Paul read what Paul wrote, you know, Paul's writings are a little bit hard But hey read them study them meditate on and don't be like these people that wrestle against the scriptures to their own Destruction so just something for you guys to keep in mind is that conflict can develop compassion So just remember that when you find yourself in a need to confront somebody Okay, the goal should be compassion and if you do it, right guess what you're gonna restore that space heal that space You're basically becoming like a spiritual welder Okay, and you can make that bond even stronger than it was before because you're instilling trust that person should look at you Like wow, you actually had the guts to risk triggering me to risk offending me to tell me the truth And you know what? They may not act like it at first but that is going to Demonstrate trust it's going to demonstrate that you cared that you cared about that relationship enough to actually Tell them the truth and so quick review again game conflict. What does it do? It creates change That's what it does and that change is either gonna be good or it's gonna be bad or hopefully bad that turns in to good But you don't want to leave it unchecked, right? You don't want to leave that just Festering and smoldering and building because it's gonna be hard to deal with Okay, and the second point I said is if you put off conflict conflict will put you on it will wear you out It will make your life miserable. It will make your relationships miserable. It will make church miserable It will make everything in your life Miserable and then of course the grand solution is when conflict is used to afflict. Okay, and especially if like you use Confrontation for restoration and that should hopefully demonstrate the goal. It's to restore the relationship. Okay, but unfortunately Conflict is conflict. Okay, there's no soft way out. It is only going to be through confronting people and What they are guilty of or doing okay, so Let's stop right there bow our heads and have a word of prayer Thank you so much Lord for this church and for the wisdom that you continuously give us all in our studies Thank you Lord for The state you've given us and we just pray that you bless the soulening this afternoon and bring us back to church safely tonight In Jesus name I pray amen All right, so we're gonna go ahead and have one more song and then we'll be dismissed Jesus our blessed redeemer Single earth his wonderful love proclaim Hail him hail him highest archangels in glory Strength and honor Give to his holy name Like a shepherd Jesus will guard his children In his arms, he carries them all day long Praise him praise him tell of his excellent greatness Praise him praise him ever in joyful song on the second praise Praise him Jesus our blessed redeemer For our sins he suffered and bled and died He our rock our hope of eternal salvation Hail him hail him Jesus the crucified Sound his praises Jesus who bore our sorrows love Unbounded wonderful deep and strong Praise him praise him tell of his excellent greatness Praise him praise him ever in joyful song on the last praise him praise him Praise him Jesus our blessed redeemer Heavenly portals loud with hopes and us ring Jesus Savior reigneth forever and ever Crown him crown him prophet and priest and King Christ is coming Over the world Victorious power and glory Unto the Lord belong Praise him praise him tell of his excellent greatness Praise him praise him ever in joyful song Alright good singing everyone. Let's bow our heads and dismiss ourselves in a word of prayer Dear Lord. Thank you for this time We had to hear your word be preached ask if this helps to remember these things that apply them to our lives I also ask that you please bless the soul winning after the service as well as the fellowship and the church service this evening Jesus may pray. Amen. We're dismissed