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Amen. All right, well you're there in Proverbs chapter number 18. I'd like you to just flip back with me just real quickly to Proverbs chapter number 5. You're there in Proverbs chapter 18. Just flip back to Proverbs chapter number 5. And of course last Sunday morning we started a brand new series called Happily Ever After, and we are spending several weeks learning about the Christian home, talking about marriage, and of course we're gonna talk about having children, and raising children, and all of those things. And I started last week with an introductory sermon entitled The Institution of Marriage, and we looked at just a biblical overview of what the Bible teaches about marriage. And today we're gonna move on in the progression. Before we get to the children we're gonna deal with marriage, and before we get to marriage we're gonna deal with dating. So this morning I'm gonna preach a sermon, and it's specifically geared towards young people, the singles, and really even teenagers. Not that I think teenagers should be dating, but they will soon one day be at the age of dating, and it's good for them to learn these concepts, and learn these ideas. I'm preaching a sermon entitled Are You Ready for Marriage, and I want to speak to you on how to know whether you are ready for marriage, and really to give you a plan to get ready for marriage. In Proverbs chapter 5 and verse 18 the Bible says, Let thy fountain be blessed. I want you to notice the last part of verse 18 it says, And rejoice with the wife of thy youth. The Bible speaks positively about marriage, specifically in regards to young people getting married. Here we're told to rejoice with the wife of thy youth, and of course this is the understanding that a couple would come together in their youth to be married, and they would stay married, and be married, and you would for a lifetime rejoice with the wife of thy youth, even when you're no longer a youth. She's still the wife of thy youth, the wife that you married in your youth. You're there in Proverbs 5. Go back to Proverbs chapter 18 and look at verse number 22. When we're talking about dating and preparing for marriage, Proverbs 18 and verse 22 the Bible says this, Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord. If you remember we saw last week in there in Genesis where God went through that creation story, and he looked at all the things that he'd created, and he said it was good, it was good, it was good, and then he saw Adam by himself, and he said it is not good that man should be alone. Here we're told in Proverbs 18 22, Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing. I want you to notice that marriage is something that God looks at in a positive light. He's the one that instituted marriage. It's something that he wants people to do. Whoso findeth the wife, findeth the good thing, and obtaineth, the Bible says, favor of the Lord. So this morning I'm preaching to the singles on the subject of are you ready for marriage or how to get ready for marriage, and I want to help you make some right choices. So if you're here this morning and you're a single person, no matter what your age is, if you're single and you're eligible for marriage, then this sermons for you. I want you to pay attention. I want you to take notes. On the back of your course the week there's a place for you to write down some things, and even for young people that are not at the age of marriage, you know, you teenagers, and I often teach this that the purpose of dating is marriage. You say why would I want to start dating? You want to start dating in order to find a future spouse. If you're not interested in getting married, then you should not be dating. It is my conviction that a 13 year old is not ready to get married, so therefore a 13 year old has no busy business dating, and, you know, but obviously when you get to the ages of 17 and 18 and 19 you are more at the place of maybe starting to move in that direction. So I'm not saying that this is something for teenagers because I think that young teenagers should be dating, but I do think this that when you're 12 and you're 13 and you're 14 you're 15 this is a time to learn these lessons so that you can be ready to find the right person when it's time for you to write find the right person. In fact, I'll be very honest with you, when I wrote this sermon I wrote this sermon with my own children in mind. I thought to myself what is it that I would want my kids to learn and to know about these things? So at the very least my kids need to be paying attention this morning and learning about these things. I want to help singles prepare for marriage and to make the right choice regarding marriage. Now over the last several weeks I've been reading a book on the subject of marriage and I've been reading it for for other reasons. I've been using it in counseling and things like that, but what I've found is that a lot of that the book is going to overlap not maybe with the whole series but specifically with this sermon. There's a book there's an old well-known famous preacher by the name of John R. Rice who wrote many books and one of the books he wrote was called The Home and it's a really a manual on the subject of marriage and in this sermon I'm gonna there's a chapter in that book that I really like and it's entitled Things That Should Delay Marriage and he gives a whole list of reasons why people should not get married. I'm gonna use a lot of quotes from his book in this sermon this morning and I'll be reading those for you. In fact I'd like to read one to you right now just by way of introduction. Here's what John R. Rice wrote in the book The Home. He said, an unhappy marriage can be very much worse than no marriage at all. For millions of people married life will be a miserable failure and much worse than no marriage if they do not take the time and precautions to marry the right person. Oftentimes I look at single people and I say look you're making a big mistake this is not gonna go well this is not gonna work out well and single people have this idea that being married miserably would be better than being single for the rest of your life. What they find out when they get married and they're miserable is that they were happier when they were single. The truth is this that John R. Rice is very much that for many people an unhappy marriage can be very much worse than no marriage at all and many people will find misery and failure in marriage if they do not take the time and precautions to marry the right person. He also said this certain conditions are most favorable for a happy and successful marriage therefore intelligent people ought to wait until these happy conditions are met so that marriage may be happy and successful. I like how he put that intelligent people ought to wait until these happy conditions are met so that marriage may be happy and successful. So I want to speak to you singles on the subject of marriage. Now for those of you that are already married you might don't check out all right you think I don't need this sermon. If you're checking out you need the sermon. This sermon in the sermon I'm gonna talk to you about what it takes to be ready to get married. What you may find as we walk through this sermon is that you weren't ready and maybe you're not ready to get married. I don't want you to walk out of here and say well pastor said you need to do these things to be ready and we're not married so we should split up. No no no that's not what the point of the sermon is but if you're if you're a single here this morning and you hear these things you need to see these things as things that you need to work on in order to get married. You say what if I'm married and I have to work on some of these things? Well then you need to see this as things that you need to work on because you're married. While you're married you need to work on yourself and on your marriage you say my marriage is miserable. Well it can be a happy marriage. You can live happily ever after. Whoso findeth the wife findeth the good thing can still apply to you and God wants it to apply to you but you need to apply these things to your life. So don't think well I don't need this sermon. Hey every married person here needs this sermon because you need to determine am I even now ready for marriage and it's even more urgent for you because you are married and these are things you ought to work on and work towards. Maybe you're here this morning and you're a parent or you're a grandparent. Don't check out on me. This sermon will likely be a tool that will help you guide your children and guide your grandchildren into choosing the proper future mate. So the point is this you hear me say it all the time whenever the Word of God is open it's good for all of us. All scriptures given by inspiration of God. So we're gonna learn today on the subject of are you ready for marriage. You don't have to turn there you keep your place there in Proverbs and do me a favor put a ribbon or a bookmark there in Proverbs because we're gonna leave it we're gonna come back to it but while you do that let me just read to you a little portion from Ecclesiastes chapter 9 verse 9. The Bible says live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of thy life. This is God's will. God's will is that you live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of thy life. Now let me just be tell you one last disclaimer we'll jump into it and just to be honest with you. I'm not gonna finish this sermon this morning. I started writing this sermon and I realized I've got more content here than I can do in one sermon. It turns out the singles they need a lot of help all right. So I'm not gonna finish this in one sermon. I'm actually gonna finish this tonight because I didn't want to spread it over two weeks. So I'm gonna give you I've got ten things that you need to be aware of in order to prepare for marriage or that you need to be aware of if you are married. Some of it most of these things are gonna apply to you even if you're married already but I'm not gonna be able to go to all over all of them. So I'm gonna give you five this morning. I'm gonna give you five tonight. So I encourage you to come back tonight 6 p.m. for the preaching of God's Word. Now you're there in Proverbs go up maybe what to the book of Acts. Acts chapter 23 Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts. Acts chapter number 23 and let me give you these five things that you ought to do in order to prepare for marriage and I would encourage you to write these down on the back of your course the week there's a place for you to write down some notes. Here's point number one you have to prepare for marriage by number one getting your spiritual life in order. You ought to prepare for marriage by getting your spiritual life in order. Acts chapter 23 and verse 1 notice what the Bible says the Bible says and Paul keep in mind Paul was not a married man he was a single man but Paul earnestly beholding the council said men and brethren notice what he says this ought to be a goal of every Christian young person not so young person married single it doesn't matter he says I have lived in all good conscience before God until this day. Now what is it that Paul means when he says I have lived in all good conscience before God until this day? Here's what he means by that he's saying I am right with God I am right with the Lord. He wasn't saying he was perfect or he was sinless but he was saying I know that right now my conscience is clear before God I know that I'm right with God. You're there in Proverbs 23 flip over to Proverbs chapter 24 look at verse 16 Proverbs chapter 24 and verse 16 notice what he says here the Apostle Paul he says and herein and herein do I exercise myself notice to have always a conscience void of offense toward God and toward men here he tells us not only Paul says do I know that I'm right with God but he says I know that I'm right with other men see it is the the life the the purpose of every Christian whether you're married or not to live a life your life in such a way where you get your spiritual life in order where you can say I'm right with God my conscience is clear my conscience is clean I am right with God and I am right with men now that applies to all of us but especially those of you who are in a stage of life where you are looking for a life's mate the first thing that you must do to prepare for marriage is to get your spiritual life in order is to get right with God is to deal with any major sins in your life and be and and get those things cleared and taken care of in order to enter in to marriage I often tell I tell all the the newlyweds or the young couples that are engaged that I give premarital counseling to and I give and I and I often say this to many other couples as well what I have learned and what my wife and I have learned over the last 11 years of ministry because in the last 11 years minister we've done a lot of marriage counseling I've done marriage counseling my wife has counseled wives and and and what here's what we've learned over 11 years of ministry is that there are very few marriage problems in fact you may even make the argument that marriage problems do not even exist now you could make the argument that they do exist but here's what I want you understand the problems that bring people into my office the problems that bring people into counseling the problems that bring people into marriage counseling or the problems that often lead people towards divorce are not marriage problems there's very few marriage problems if there are any marriage problems see marriage problems are really easy to deal with marriage problems are like he won't put his socks in the dirty laundry you know marriage problems are not that hard to deal with what we have found is that when marriages struggle when they have issues when they have problem it's not usually a marriage problem what it usually is is a single-person problem that they brought into their marriage most of the time when you're dealing with issues within marriage it's not a problem that arose as a result of the marriage but it was a problem that was already in the life of one or two of the individuals and they dragged they brought they brought that baggage into their marriage so let me just tell you something avoid a lot of heartache by dealing with sin before you get married obviously you say we're all sinners yeah we understand that but there are some major sins that people are dealing with and struggling with and while you're dealing and struggling with those things I do not recommend you get married so what are you talking about I'm talking about things like alcohol struggling with alcohol struggling with drugs struggling with pornography struggling with gambling struggling with anger struggling with rebellion struggling with gossip and backbiting and bad attitudes hey these are things that you need to deal with before you get married or else you might end up in somebody's office say we've got marriage problems when you really had no marriage problems what you had is single people problems that you brought into a marriage because oftentimes they well they weren't a problem before I was single that's because nobody was keeping you accountable because nobody was looking over your shoulder and checking in on you and making sure that you were where you were saying you said you were gonna be in doing what you said you were gonna do see when you're single you're often allowed because a lack of accountability and by the way that's why I believe that single people ought to live in their homes with their moms and dads until the day they get married and mom and dad don't check out of the lives of your adult children keep them accountable but oftentimes what single people do is they have these problems and they think oh once I get married then this problem will be taken care of and you just drag that problem with all its heartache into marriage she said I'd like to get prepared for marriage well here's step number one prepare for marriage by getting your spiritual life in order someone someone said this we have no right to expect from someone else what we're not willing to do ourselves you say I want a spouse that loves the Lord and is honest and truthful and has character and has discipline okay well you have no right to expect that from someone else until you're willing to do it yourself she said what's step number one here's step number one get your spiritual life in order and by the way for those of you that checked out this is not just for singles you say I'm married okay well then you better deal with these issues if you've got them in your life they're gonna destroy your marriage you gotta you say to prepare to get married or if you already aren't married hey you got to get your spiritual life in order you need to get to the place where you can say like the Apostle Paul I have lived in all good conscience before God until this day I have always a conscience void of offense toward God and toward men get these things right and of course you have a pastor and pastor's wife that are always wanting to help you and willing to help you keep your place there in Acts chapter 23 we're gonna come back to it but go back with me to the book of Proverbs Proverbs chapter 16 I'm gonna give you 10 things that you need to do in order to prepare for marriage I'll give you five this morning and I'll give you five tonight the first is to prepare for marriage by getting your spiritual life in order the second thing is to prepare for marriage by deciding upon who it is that you are looking for if you're a single person here and you say I'd like to get married one day you need to start thinking and decide who it is that you're looking for see before you start dating you have to ask yourself who am I looking for who am I looking for what am I looking for in a spouse what am I looking for in a future life's mate Proverbs 16 look down at verse number 9 Proverbs chapter 16 in verse 9 I want you to notice this verse the Bible says a man's heart a man's heart deviseth his way the word deviseth or devise means to plan or to think about a man's heart plans or thinks or deviseth his way notice but the Lord directed his steps you say well which one is it does a man devise his way or does the Lord direct a step well the answer is both when a man devises his ways the Lord directed his steps when a man has a plan when a person gets a plan for what they're looking for for what they want to do in the direction they want the head hey when they start planning and thinking then God begins to help them and meet them along the way and direct their step see there's always a prepared place for a prepared man and let me say this there's a prepared wife for a prepared man there's a prepared husband for a prepared young lady a man's heart divides of those way but the Lord directed the steps you gotta identify who is it that you're looking for you gotta think who is it that you're looking for you say why do I need to know that here's why so that when the Lord directs your steps towards that person you'll be able to identify you say why do I need to know who it is that I'm looking for well aren't you praying for a future spouse you should be praying for a future spouse if you're looking for a spouse well what are you praying for what are you asking for you gotta ask yourself what am I looking for in a future spouse keep your place there in Proverbs go with me if you want to 2nd Corinthians if you had your place in Acts after Acts you have Romans 1st Corinthians 2nd Corinthians Acts Romans 1st Corinthians 2nd Corinthians I'd like you to keep your place in Proverbs you can lose your place in Acts but keep your place in 2nd Corinthians all right so you ought to be in Proverbs and 2nd Corinthians if you would Proverbs and 2nd Corinthians chapter number 6 who are you looking for oftentimes when you talk to young people about who they're looking for they give you all these shallow answers well I want him to have broad shoulders I want him to be tall I want him to have this or that or I want her to look a certain way and I want her hair to look this way and I know all these things let me say something that's shallow you said what should I be looking for what you should be looking for and there's nothing wrong with obviously you should be attracted to the person you're married to and there's nothing wrong with that that should not be your number one look when you get down on your knees and you pray you should not be praying Lord please get me a wife with long dark hair Lord please I just wanted her to have this turn look Lord please make sure he has a nice car what you should be praying for is the character of that individual that you're looking for you say well what should I be looking for well here's the thing you got to be looking for someone who's your spiritual equal looking for someone who's your spiritual equal are you there in 2nd Corinthians chapter 6 look at verse 14 2nd Corinthians 6 and verse 14 the Bible says be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers for what fellowship of righteousness with unrighteousness what communion has light with darkness we've talked about this verse recently but let me explain to you again a yoke is a tool that is used to put two beasts of burdens together you might grab two oxen or two bolts and you would put a piece of wood across their necks and tie them around it so that they would be yoked together therefore that you could put them to work and they could work harder by working together any the the idea is called synergy we can accomplish more together than we can alone and here the Apostle Paul is teaching a principle that we should not yoke ourselves together with unbelievers now that applies to all sorts of areas of life we usually apply it to marriage and there's nothing wrong with that and usually what we derive from this teaching is that you should not marry someone if you're saved if you're a believer if you're a Christian you should not marry someone who's not saved someone who's an unbeliever someone who's not a Christian and that's true you should only marry a safe person you should only marry safe people and by the way let me say this because the purpose of dating is marriage and since you should only marry safe people you should only date safe people now people often you know people people always hear what they want to hear and you know they'll hear my story or they're here pastor Anderson's story how both of us got our wives saved well you guys got your wife saves I'm gonna go marry us date all these unsaved girls okay well you need to re-listen to the story because neither one of us dated an unsaved girl we got a girl saved then we dated her we did you hear me that's why I'm confused as to why so many single people you know aren't aren't that consistent to soul winning you think if you're looking for someone we literally go out knocking doors every week around here you know you ought to just tell your soul partner hey if a if a young single girl opens the door let me get it I'll give her the gospel hey there's nothing wrong in the world with getting somebody saved and then dating them but don't start dating unsaved people say why should I date unsaved people well you shouldn't marry unsaved people the purpose of dating is marriage be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers so well what should I be looking for in a spouse you got to be looking for someone who's saved but let me take it further not only see what I teach my kids what my wife and I teach our children what I want to teach our church family is this you should be looking for someone who's your spiritual equal so not only should you be finding somebody who's saved you should be finding someone who's similar to you in spirituality if you are a Sunday morning Sunday night Wednesday night three to thrive soul winning tithing on fire for the Lord Christian then don't marry a Sunday morning only your that's not your spiritual equal you're ahead of them spiritually especially ladies you ladies yeah I'm on fire for God and then you marry some guy that's not on fire for the Lord that's not gonna work out well for you look you got to be looking for individuals you say well I'm on fire for the Lord what should I be looking for let me give you a list of five things you got to be looking for number one they should be saved number two they should be spiritual number three they should live separated lives number four they should be serving number five they should be soul winning you say what am I looking for as well look if he's not a soul winner don't give me your number if he's not serving if she's not serving don't start that relationship if they're worldly as hell and not living a separated life hey that's not someone you need to be dating if they're not spiritual they don't read the Bible they don't pray they don't love the Lord they don't love the things of God hey just because you're saved doesn't mean you're spiritual just as you're saved doesn't mean you love the Lord just because you're saved doesn't mean you're you're right with God and right with the Lord it's interesting to me that my wife and I over the over years we've had people come to us for references and we've had a parent who said my son or my daughter is thinking about or interested in this individual and what what do you think about that and we've had to sadly say well unfortunately they actually don't go to church oh we thought they went to church where they don't go anymore I wouldn't I wouldn't date them I can't give my recommendation hey I'm here to tell you something you need to find someone who's not only saved you define somebody who's right with God see point number one is you get right with God point number two is you find someone that's right with God saved spiritual separated serving soul winning and if they look nice too then praise the Lord for that by the way let me say this you should be looking for someone who's doing all these things before you came in the picture yeah over 11 years we've seen a lot of this you got some guy who barely can make it to church on Sundays never went so when he never did anything but then he finds some girl and she's on fire for now he's all of a sudden you know a good Christian or some gal it's not interested in things of God but she meets some guy now all of a sudden she's right with the Lord hey you know be careful about that I want I'm thankful that I have confidence that my wife has a genuine authentic walk with God and it you know if I'm if I'm uh if I'm sick and I have to stay home or if I get back so I didn't have to stay home I don't my wife's okay well see I'll be at church see you later you leave your husband I was going to church before we started dating I was living a separated life before we started dating I gave up on the world before we ever started dating I'm not gonna get back to him for you now hey you want to find someone who's fair just say why here's why because when you get married you get in a yoke with someone for life see the purpose of being in a yoke is that you help each other out see when you got these two oxen and they're yoked up together and they're out there and they're plotting the field sometimes one ox might have a hoof slip and they might fall a little bit but when they're yoked to another oxen they can pull them up that's what you want in marriage someone's gonna help you someone's gonna pull you up someone's gonna keep you going the direction that you're supposed to be going so I said number one when it comes to preparing marriage you gotta prepare for marriage by getting your spiritual life in order number two you got to prepare for marriage by deciding upon whom it is that you are looking for let me say this don't give your heart the young people listen to me don't give your heart to someone who is not given their heart to God you'll regret it you'll regret it go to 1st Timothy chapter 5 if you would keep your place in 2nd Corinthians keep your place in Proverbs but go with me to 1st Timothy find the T books they're all clustered together 1st 2nd Thessalonians 1st 2nd Timothy Titus 1st Timothy chapter 5 1st Timothy chapter 5 I said number one you got to prepare for marriage by getting your spiritual life in order number two you got to prepare for marriage by deciding upon whom it is that you're looking for and you ought to be looking for someone who's saved spiritual separated serving solely you say well I'm not spiritual separated serving solely okay then go back to point number one start by getting your spiritual life in order and when you're saved spiritual separated serving and solely then you go and find someone who saves spiritual separated serving and soul winning and that's what you ought to be praying for now you can be praying Lord I want her to have hazel eyes but before you pray that pray what I want to be a soul winner and if you can throw in nice beautiful eyes that's a nice soup Lord I want him to be separated and and spiritual and if you can have a nice car then praise God for that too don't give your heart to someone who's not giving their heart to God number three prepare for marriage by getting your finances in order prepare for marriage by getting your finances in order let's talk about his finances and this is not just for singles single men this is for all men first Timothy 5 and verse 8 the Bible says but if any provide not for his own and especially for those of his own house he had denied the faith and is worse than an infidel the Bible teaches that a man is to provide for his own house the Bible says hey by the way here it says if they provide not for his own house and especially for those obvious for excuse me it says but if any provide not for his own and especially for those of his own house this is not just referring to the fact that they provide for their for their own house the nuclear family wife and children but we should be ready to even care for you know older parents or adult parents or grandparents this is the context but if any provide not for his own and especially for those of his own house he had denied the faith don't miss this notice how extreme this is and is worse than an infidel say why would God say you're worse than an infidel because there's many an infidel out there who take care of their families there's many an unbeliever out there who goes to work and provides for his wife and kids and the Bible says look if even the infidels do it then then you better believe that we as by believing Christians ought to do it how do I prepare for marriage how to prepare hey young man you got to prepare for marriage by getting your finances in order you say what does that mean you need to get to the place where you have a job or some sort of career that will provide for a future family here's what John R I said in the home he said and I I'm gonna have to fix a little bit of the of the quotation here because he was talking specifically about it an individual but he said this a man should have already learned to work learn to save money be regarded as a grown man in the community with good business judgment and steady character he says when it comes to you know how do I know if I'm ready to get married well if you have already learned to work and you've already learned to save money and you've already been regarded as a grown man in the community with good business judgment and steady character then you're ready to get married you know well I'm 20 years old I thought I didn't ask I didn't give you an age I'm 30 years old yeah but you spend your entire day sitting in your mom's basement in your underwear playing video games you're not ready to get married it doesn't matter if you're 20 years old 30 years old or 40 years old a man should have already learned to work learn to save money and maybe regarded as a grown man in the community with good business judgment and steady character you need to have your finances in order you're there in 1st Timothy chapter 5 flip back to 1st Thessalonians chapter 4 you're gonna go past 2nd Timothy into 1st Thessalonians 1st Thessalonians chapter 4 by the way let me just say this grown men are not play video games I know that's like a super controversial thing to say today 40 year old man I'm not be playing Mario Kart or whatever you're playing oh my video games are more sophisticated shut up grow up Paul said when I was a child I spake as a child I thought as a child he said when I became a man I put away childish things 1st Thessalonians chapter 4 I'm thankful I grew up in a home where we didn't play video games when we were kids my dad's a waste your time with that go work 1st Thessalonians chapter 4 verse 11 and that you study to be quiet and to do your own business by the way let me just tell you something I would not allow my daughter to marry a man that plays video games that's my opinion I'm not telling you I'm not telling us what the Bible said I'm telling you that's what I that's what I say you hear that girls first that's only four verse 11 and that you study to be quiet and to do your own business and to work with your own hands as we commanded you that we may walk honestly toward them that are without and that you may have notice these words lack of nothing you say how do you know when you're self-sufficient here's how you when you know when you're self-sufficient when you're ready to be married or when you've done it right when you have lack of nothing I didn't say you're rich I didn't say you're wealthy but when you can put food on the table you can provide clothes you can provide shelter for a family you're good to go by the way I will not perform and this is not my opinion this is actually a rule we have I will not perform a wedding for a man who does not have a job that can support a family I don't expect people to be well off or wealthy in fact I think it's good for young couples to struggle a little bit but they should be able to support themselves if mama has to completely you know always be bailing you out or daddy has to always be bailing you out that's a problem you should be able to do your own business and to work with your own hands you say to what extent that ye may have lack of nothing having food and raiment let us be there with content I didn't say you have to have a nice fancy car and a nice fancy house but you ought to be able to provide a shelter for that young lady a shelter for those children that are coming you ought to be able to provide food and clothing you ought to be able to take care of a family so prepare for marriage by getting your finances in order and specifically for men this is something that is of importance because you have to make sure that you have a job and a career and a work ethic that will provide for a family but let me say this it's not just for the young men go to Proverbs 31 Proverbs chapter 31 you know Proverbs 31 is the famous proverb about the virtuous woman we could reach a whole sermon on the virtuous woman I'm not going to but let me say this not only should men get their finances in order and you say well I didn't do any of that and I'm already married well get your finances in order but also the lady should get her finances in order and by the way this is not just referring to single ladies because I'm about to read to you from Proverbs 31 this is a married woman Proverbs 31 in verse 24 the Bible says she referring to the virtuous woman she maketh fine linen notice and selleth it and delivereth girdles unto the merchants here you have a woman that she's producing she's creating a product and she sells it she's delivering the girdles unto the merchant I've heard people say oh this is referring to the fact that she has a job I've heard people say like my wife you know she works this job outside the home and that makes to the virtuous woman if that was true that every woman out there is a virtuous woman are you serious this woman's not working it doesn't say she's the merchant it says she delivers her girdles unto the merchants she's not she's not sitting at a shop all day clocking in nine-to-five working as a merchant but she is making stuff from home because she's a homemaker and she sells it you say what do you think young ladies that are not married ought to be doing when they're at home because look people get this idea there's a whoa whoa pastor you teach that young women should not go to work and by the way I teach that young woman should not go to work say you why do you think that young woman shouldn't go to work well Paul said I will therefore that the younger women marry bear children guide the house give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully he says that they should marry bear children guide the house he didn't say they should go be the CEO of some company it's dangerous to have your young girls out there in the workforce but look that doesn't but but then there's another extreme people hear us preach that they're like okay so that means that my 19 year old daughter should just be in her pajamas all day doing nothing no no she should be working oh you said she shouldn't work well she'd be doing the same thing that she should be doing when she's married she should be working at home she'll be helping with the housework and all those things but by the way she could be running a business from her house that would make her a lot like the virtuous woman she make a fine linen and sell it and deliver the girdles unto the merchant now don't look not only is she not idle she's also good with her finances look at verse 16 Proverbs 31 verse 16 she considerth a field and biotin with the fruit of her hand she plant to the vineyard notice she's she's got some some business savvy she considers a field and she buys it she's selling her merchandise she's selling she's making fine linens and selling it and delivering girdles unto the merchants look young men you say I want to get married one day okay well you better work at developing a job or a career that can support a family but you know what young ladies you have to work on your finances as well and you have to work on your career as well you say what should I be learning well you ought to be learning to cook cook actual meals not you know opening up a hungry man and putting in microwave cook actual meals for an entire family well I don't have a big family to cook for so I'm never gonna be able to get ready for that you know it's funny around here around here it seems like every other week we're asking people we're telling announcing our church family that some lady with six kids went into labor would you like to provide a meal it seems to me like that'd be a great opportunity for a young lady to say yeah let me try to make a meal for a whole family see how that you know let's see how that works now I may not work out well for that family you may want to add a gift card to that thank you what I'm saying is learn to you say I want to have be a wife and have children okay well why don't you learn to cook for an entire family why don't you learn to shop not just for yourself but for a household why don't you learn to be frugal why don't you learn some skills like sewing or cutting hair or baking hey why don't you start a stay-at-home business here's what I'm saying if that's what you want to do when you grow up then why don't you do it now you got to work on your finances on your career Proverbs 31 look at verse 11 here's my favorite one Proverbs 31 verse 11 the heart of her husband the safely trust in her now it's a good verse that ought to be said of every wife but I want you to notice that the context is regarding to finances the heart of her husband the safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil now what's spoil a spoil is a good taken by war a spoil is something that men would get that maybe they weren't necessarily counting on but a war broke out they went to battle they won the battle and as a result they were able to bring home some spoil here the Bible says the heart of her husband does safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil what's the Bible teaching here's what I say this lady is so good with finances that there's not a guy running around thinking himself man I really kind of need a war to break out because I could use some spoil you said what's the equivalent 2022 there's not a guy right around saying man my wife has just racked up all the credit cards I could really use a bonus right about now it'd be nice if I just came into you know came into some money that I wasn't expecting because my wife has spent it all know the heart of her husband does safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil she's trustworthy with her finances she considers the field and biotin she works hard she's not idle look I'm just telling you you if you're here this way you say I need to prepare for marriage I want to prefer marriage well you got to prepare by getting your finances in order you're not prepared by getting your finances in order go back to the second second or go to 1st Corinthians but if you kept your place in secondary this just flipped back from second ranges to 1st Corinthians let me give you number four here's number four prepare for marriage by protecting your purity I said number one prepare for marriage by getting your spiritual life in order number two prepare for marriage by deciding upon whom it is that you are looking for number three prepare for marriage by getting your finances in order number four prepare for marriage by protecting your purity now I dealt with this last week so I don't want to spend a lot of time on this but it's good to cover it again it's good for young people to cover it as many times as possible 1st Corinthians chapter 6 and verse 18 flee fornication fornication is having a physical relationship before marriage what does God think about that he says flee run from it flee fornication every sin that a man do this without the body but he that committed fornication sent it against his own body what no you're not your body is temple the Holy Ghost which is in you which you have of God and you're not your own for you are bought with a price therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit which are God's got to protect your purity you say why because your body does not belong to you belongs to God say how do I do that how do you do that well first of all you do that go you're there in 1st Corinthians go to Romans Romans chapter 13 here's how you do it determine not to be alone with a member of the opposite sex Romans chapter 13 verse 14 by the way if you're a single person here determine not to be alone with a member of the opposite sex this term is not for me I'm already married okay if you're a married person here determine not to be alone with a member of the opposite sex that you're not married to Romans 13 and verse 14 I'm just trying to apply it for you so you don't think I wasn't preaching at you Romans 13 verse 14 but put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ and make not provision for the flesh that word provision the word provision means to provide for or to supply for make not supplies make not provision don't provide the opportunity for the flesh to fulfill the lust thereof you say what's the best way to resist temptation the best way to resist temptation is to avoid it altogether put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ and make not provision for the flesh to fulfill the lust thereof determined to not be alone with a member of the opposite sex you got a date in groups you got a date in group settings so you got to have a chaperone and look people ask me questions about these things all all the time I'm sure whenever I preach on these types of things people have all sorts of questions and let me say yes I do think that it's good to have chaperones for your older children when they're out dating and but let me just say this I don't think it's a good idea to have younger siblings chaperone I think the I think the mom and dad should do it but I also think that mom and dad should not be sitting at the table you know having a conversation with the couple trying to get learn learn each other and get close to each other you know I think if you're gonna be a chaperone it should be mom and dad and mom and dad should maybe be at another table in the restaurant in the same in the same room that way you allow them some privacy you're not right there in their bubble but you're also keeping an honor you say that sounds like a lot of work hey having children is a lot of work especially you dads you're your whole read the Old Testament your job is to make sure that when that girl walks down the aisle when you walk her down the aisle you are testifying to the fact I know for a fact that she is pure I mean that's gonna be that's good that's my goal to walk my daughters on the aisle and say I know for a fact this girl is period how do you know that well cuz their nine-year-old sibling told me no cuz I was there cuz I didn't let them out of my sight you got to protect your daughters you got to protect your sons you have determined not to be alone with a member of the opposite sex but let me say this as well determine go back to 1st Corinthians chapter 7 determine not to have physical contact with a member of the opposite sex and if you're married here this morning and you say this one is not for me okay determine not to have physical contact with a member of the opposite sex that you're not married to 1st Corinthians 7 verse 1 now concerning the things where have you wrote unto me it is good for a man not to touch a woman nevertheless avoid fornication let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband go back to Proverbs chapter 31 if you want Proverbs chapter 31 we're talking about how to prepare for marriage and as I hope you've noticed a lot of these things apply to you even if you are married say what what I do to prepare for marriage well number one you have to prepare for marriage by getting your spiritual life in order get right with God deal with any major sins in your life get those things out in the open and get them cleared away and get them and and get them fixed so you're not dragging in a bunch of baggage into your marriage number two prepare by deciding upon who it is that you're looking for and you gotta be looking for somebody to say something is spiritual someone separated someone is serving God and someone is a soul winner you got to prepare for marriage by getting your finances in order young men learn to work and provide for a family young ladies learn to run a household and be good with your finances number four you got to prepare for marriage by protecting your purity here's number five and this is probably the the biggest one that's probably the the big one number five you got to prepare for marriage by working on yourself you got to prepare for marriage by working on yourself it's interesting because in Proverbs 31 we have this famous passage about the virtuous woman I mean this this the virtuous one is a standard of the goal that every Christian lady ought to want to be but begins with this context Proverbs 31 verse 10 who can find a virtuous woman who can find a virtuous woman for her prize is far above Ruby's the idea is that a virtuous woman is hard to find by the way ladies your goal ought to be that every time your husband reads this verse he's able to say what I say to myself every time I read it every time I read proper 31 10 I say I read who can find a virtuous woman I think myself I did I didn't can your husband say that who can find a virtuous woman and then he reads that thing like I don't know who that is without my wife who can find a virtuous woman for her price is far above Ruby's a virtuous woman is hard to find you know what a virtuous man is hard to find to go to Psalm 12 look at verse 1 flip back to Psalm 12 in verse 1 Psalm 12 in verse 1 Psalm 12 in verse 1 the Bible says help this is this could be the life verse of many single young ladies help Lord for the godly man ceaseth for the faithful failed from among the children of men what they're saying it's hard to find a good man the godly man sees it the godly man is disappearing that's what it's saying the godly man sees it the losers abound the effeminates abound the worthless abound but the godly man he sees it for the faithful fail from among the children of men see it's hard to find a virtuous woman but it's also fine hard to find a godly man it's hard to find a faithful man so in order to prefer for marriage you ought to be working on yourself someone said it this way and some of you young people you should write this down you should work at becoming the type of person that the person that you're looking for is looking for see you get all these ideas well this is that person I'm looking for he's to have this type of job and he's to have this type of killer and he's to look this way he's not to be this tall and I want him his shoulders to be this broad and I want I'm looking for these things and you got this whole idea of what Prince Charming looks like or what the damsel in distress looks like and that's all well and good but let me ask you a question what makes you think that when you find the person that you're looking for that they're looking for you what makes you think that when you find the person that you're looking for that you're the person that they're looking for see you say I can't find the person I'm looking for well that's great news because while you're looking for the person that you're looking for you ought to be working at becoming the person that the person that you're looking for is looking for y'all to work on yourself y'all to work at becoming a great catch so what are some areas for personal development in my life I have I have brought the personal development areas into four categories I'm talking about for me personally because by the way this is not just for singles this is for everybody you're married yeah I'm already married well don't just I'm married I'm gonna let myself go she's stuck with me bless God hey you say I'm not I'm not married well you better be working on yourself I am married keep working on yourself here's a marriage of original development faith your spiritual life your walk with God you ought to be working on that family your relationship with your wife your children if you're not married your relationship with your with your father your mother your siblings fitness your personal health finances yeah what should I be working on how about something regarding your faith how about something regarding your family how about something regarding your fitness how about something regarding your finances hey you ought to be working on yourself hey I'm thankful I'm thankful And I'm thankful that my wife, who's the most beautiful woman on earth, you know, we've been married for, in June I think we'll have been married for 18 years, and I'm thankful that she still goes running and still goes on the elliptical and still tries to take care of herself and still dresses nice and still looks nice. You say, who's she doing that for? For me! And you know what? I'm doing the best I can with what God has given me. But I get on that elliptical and I try to dress nice and look nice, you know? Why? You say, but you guys are married. Yeah, here's what I understand. People that were married and were still trying to look nice for each other, and then you got young people that are like, I'm looking for a wife, and you walk into church looking like a slob. Look, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. I'm just telling you. You're looking for a wife? Maybe do some push-ups. Hey, get on a treadmill. And you say, well, I'm already married. Do some push-ups! Get on a treadmill! Don't have this idea like, well, you know, he's stuck with me. Is that what you want? Is that, I mean, you think I want my wife just to be like, well, I mean, he really let himself go, but I mean, what, divorce or murder? Which one? I want, you know, you say, those are selfish. I don't think it's selfish for a husband to want his wife to think he looks nice. And for a wife to want her husband to think she looks nice. And that requires you working on yourself. And if you're trying to find a spouse, comb your hair, tuck your shirt in. Take a shower. Work at becoming the person that the person that you're looking for is looking for. Work on your faith. Work on your family. Work on your personal fitness. Work on your finances. Go to Psalm 127. Psalm 127. I'm not gonna have time to finish this. I told you that this morning. I've only given you five points. I've got five more tonight. I'd encourage you to come back. You got young people, make sure you come back. Bring them back. You married? You say, I'm married, I don't have young people. Come back! It'll be good for you, too. Psalm 127, verse one. Accept the Lord build the house. They labor in vain, that building. Accept the Lord keep the city. The watchman wakeeth but in vain. You know what you ought to do? You say, I'm married. Well, you ought to involve God in your family. Say, I'm single. Well, you ought to involve God in the establishment of your family. Start involving God in your dating life. Because, accept the Lord build the house, they labor in vain, that building. Accept the Lord keep the city. The watchman waketh but in vain. Say, how do I involve God in my dating life? Here's how you involve God in your daily life. You start by getting your spiritual life noted. You start by deciding upon who it is that you're looking for. You start by getting your finances in order, protecting your purity by working on yourself. Because, when God brings you across that guy or that girl that you've been praying for, make sure you're ready to meet God's will. Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer. Heavenly Father, thank you Lord for your word. Thank you for the Bible. Thank you for these biblical principles. Lord, and I pray that you would help all the young people in our church to take these principles to heart, to prepare for marriage one day, to prepare themselves to be ready to find the right person. Lord, I pray for the married couples that they would take the things that apply to them and work on them in their marriages. It's so vitally important that we allow the Lord to build the house, because when we don't, we labor in vain at building. In the matchless name of Christ, we pray, amen.