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We're there in Ephesians chapter number four. I'd like you to look down at verse number 26 Ephesians chapter 4 and verse 26 The Bible says this be angry and said not Let not the Sun go down upon your wrath Neither give place to the devil look down at verse number 31 same chapter. Let all bitterness notice these words and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking Notice what it says be put away from you with all malice and of course this morning We're beginning a brand new series entitled anger management, and we're going to learn from the Bible over the next several weeks how? to manage our anger and How to deal with our anger how to deal with the anger of others, and you know the sermon series is a highly applicable Series because anger is something we all struggle with anger is something that everybody Deals with and anger is something that can very quickly get out of control In fact my wife recently shared this article with me. I'm gonna read it to you. Just a short Version of it if that's okay some of you may have heard of this in the news, but the article Begins like this never get between a man in his wings an Infuriated customer caused a flap at a chicken wing chain in California After the restaurant was too slow to remake his order and then refused him a refund According to video and other startled customers the fiery footage from inside a wing stop in antelope This was just here and and not too far from from us Shows an enraged man ripping away a cash register and slamming it to the floor He then picks up the equipment and tosses it through the restaurant's window the clip shows Another man inside the store said he also witnessed the foul play When going back to the wing stop to pick up some ranch dressing for his order I guess they mixed up on his order twice. He was arguing hey, can you get my food remade? They said they said we yes We're making it about five minutes later. The man apparently had reached this limit. He's like the food is still not done I don't want you guys to spit in my food or whatever Give me back my food the employee then tells the man he has to wait for his order to be remade since they could not give him a Refund and asks him to stop yelling at another worker setting the unsatisfied customer off video shows What the blank do you mean? You can't give me back my money He screams after slamming the register into the floor and then tossing it through the restaurant's front window no injuries were reported during the incident a Wingstop manager told CBS Sacramento the irate customer was upset after several wings were missing from his order the man caused at least $6,000 worth of damage to the restaurant not including the price to fix the shattered window The restaurant was in the process of filing a police report on the felony vandalism on Wednesday according to CBS Sacramento and this is just something that happened You know a few weeks ago a couple of weeks ago and you hear about stuff like this all the time in the news And you know we can laugh and say well, you know, why would somebody get so mad about? chicken wings, you know one of the the guys being Interviewed said all that for $12 worth of chicken, you know But sadly if we were honest, you know, we would say yeah It's kind of ridiculous that somebody would do that in public yet. Many people act like that in the privacy of their homes Many people have out-of-control anger like that maybe not at a restaurant but with their kids or with their spouse or with their neighbor or with their fellow church members and We're going to learn over the next several weeks because out-of-control anger is on a rampage and it can be on a rampage in your Family and in your home and in your life So we're gonna learn about this Bible Speaks a lot about the subject of anger and how to deal with anger and this morning What we're gonna do is we're gonna do an overview of what the Bible teaches about anger This morning's sermon will be really kind of an introductory sermon to lay the foundation About anger and what the Bible teaches about anger so that we can learn to deal with anger over the next several weeks And I'm preaching on the subject of the theology of anger the doctrine of anger of anger We're gonna look at a biblical Overview of anger in the Bible and what I'd like to do is I'd like to give you six statements Regarding anger from the Bible six statements in regards to what the Bible teaches about Anger and I'd like you to write these down on the back of your course of the week There's a place for you to write take some notes. I'd like you to write these down as we go through them You're there in Ephesians chapter 4 look at verse 26 again I want you to notice these several words the Bible says be ye angry and sin not be ye angry and Sin not go with me if you would to the book of Mark Mark chapter number three in the New Testament You have the book of Matthew then right after Matthew you have the book of Mark Mark chapter three and while you turn there Let me give you the first statement for this morning, and I encourage you to write it down number one when we consider the theology of anger When we consider the doctrine of anger when we consider what the Bible teaches about anger We must first consider that it is possible for someone to be angry and not sin This is why the Bible says there in Ephesians 4 26 be ye angry and sin not so let me begin Because we're gonna spend a lot of time talking about the negativities of anger And how anger can be a very negative thing in our lives, but let me begin by being clear the Bible teaches that it is possible for someone to be angry and not sin and in fact one of the best Proofs of that is the fact that in the Bible we see Deity get angry in the Bible what we mean by that is that we see a God we see the Lord Jesus Christ Who's God in the flesh get angry in the Bible and of course? They are without sin the Bible says that Jesus was without sin He didn't he never sin yet He got angry because it is possible for someone to be angry and sin not are you there in Mark chapter 3? Look down at verse number 5 you have Matthew Mark Mark chapter 3 and verse 5 notice what the Bible says Mark 3 5 and when he Now the he there is referring to Jesus And I would encourage you to look at that in this context if you if you need to When he had looked round about them, and he's talking about the fact that he's looking at these Pharisees and Jesus is About to heal a man whose hands and arms are crippled and the Pharisees are trying to stop him Just yesterday my wife got somebody saved out soul winning a man who had his arms crippled and he was Very receptive to the gospel very happy to hear the plan of salvation, but we were talking about you know how? Sad it is that he has to live his life that way and referring to the and talking about the fact that at least he's safe now and in heaven he'll have a glorified body and not have to Deal with that pain, but could you imagine? Jesus being there being able to heal a man like that and the Pharisees trying to stop him because it's not the right day according to them and This made Jesus very angry of course their hands were fine of course their limbs were were fine They they don't care that this man is living this way and the Bible says there in verse 5 and when he Jesus Had looked round about on them notice the words with anger Being grieved for the hardness of their hearts He saved unto the man stretch forth thine hand and he stretched it out and his hand was restored whole as The other so I want you to notice that we see Jesus here get angry But yet Jesus was without sin So it is possible for someone to be angry and not sin Go to the book of Numbers if you would in the Old Testament you have Genesis Exodus Leviticus numbers Genesis Exodus Leviticus Numbers Numbers chapter number 11 we see Jesus in the New Testament get angry We Saw Jesus get angry when they were selling in the temple and he Drives them out of the temple in anger. This is what the Bible calls righteous indignation It's anger, but without sin we see God in the Old Testament be angry in fact if you study anger and in preparation For this sermon. I actually went through and looked at every verse in the Bible that had the word anger wrath They had the word angry that had the word contentions and when you study anger in the Bible what you'll find is That the person who's described as getting angry the most throughout the Bible is God himself And God is without sin so we know that it is possible for someone like Ephesians 4 26 says to be angry and not sin be Angry and sin not I could spend the whole morning going through and giving you examples of God's anger I'm not gonna do that But I like to just show you three examples from the book of Numbers if you would numbers chapter 11 look at verse 1 The Bible says this and when the people complained it Displeased the Lord notice these words and the Lord heard it and his anger was Kindled and the fire of the Lord burnt among them and consumed them that were in the uttermost part of the camp Look at verse 10 same chapter Let's skip down to verse number 10 then Moses heard the people weep throughout their families Every man in the door of his tent notice these words and the anger of the Lord was kindled greatly Moses also was Displeased flip over to chapter 12 look at verse 9 numbers chapter 12 and verse 9 notice What the Bible says numbers 12 verse 9 and the anger of the Lord was kindled Against them and he departed so I want you to notice that throughout the Bible we see Jesus get angry We see the Lord get angry in the Old Testament, and they are without sin So yes, it is possible for someone to be angry and not sin, and it's not just deity It's possible for a human being to be angry and not sin Let me give you a couple examples of that you're there in the book of Numbers flip back to the book of Exodus if You would Exodus chapter number 32 you've got numbers Leviticus Exodus if you go backwards numbers Leviticus Exodus Exodus chapter number 32 Exodus chapter 32 Look at verse 19 Exodus 32 in verse 19 the Bible says this and it came to pass as Soon as he the he there is referring to Moses as soon as he came nigh unto the camp that he saw the calf And the dancing if you remember Moses goes up to the Mount of God. He's up there for 40 days and 40 nights Fellowshiping with God fasting for those that time Getting close to God and getting instructions from God and while he's up there the people decide to make a golden calf to worship it other passages tells us that they got naked and danced around it and When Moses comes down as you can imagine he's not happy Look at the words and Moses is anger waxed hot and He cast the tables out of his hand and break them Beneath the mount and I would submit to you that this was a righteous indignation Now we will look at it later on in this series that Moses gets angry in the in the in the flesh later on He gets angry when God tells him to speak to the rock and he smote the rock and as a result He's not allowed to enter into the promised land because of his anger So there's anger that is without sin and there is anger in the flesh that is with sin And I'm just beginning with this theology on anger to explain that when we consider the theology of anger We must first consider that it is possible for someone to be angry and not sin Let me give you another example you have to turn there In fact, if you would go to the book of James Towards in the New Testament towards the end of the book of James Of the New Testament, excuse me If you start the book of Revelation and head backwards you have Jude third second and first Peter and then the book of James Jude First like excuse me third second and first John second and first Peter James James chapter number Four if you would James, excuse me James chapter one while you Go there. Let me read to you from first Samuel chapter 11 you go to James I'll read to you from first Samuel chapter 11 and verse 6 first Samuel 11 and verse 6 as this and the Spirit of God first Samuel 11 verse 6 and the Spirit of God came upon Saul when he heard those Tidings and the tidings that Saul heard in this passage is he hears of a man named named Nehas the ammonite and Nehas has came to a city of Israel And he threatens he's come to the men of Jabesh Gilead and the men of Jabesh Gilead Have asked for peace They said we don't want to fight you. We'll pay whatever tribute whatever tax needs to be paid We give up and that's not enough for Nehas Nehas says, okay, that's fine But along with that if you want to make a covenant of peace with me I want to thrust out the right eye of every man in the city and he wants to pretty much basically Blind every man in the city to take away their ability to be able to fight and rebel against against him And the Bible tells us in first Samuel 11 and verse 6 and the Spirit of God Came upon Saul when he had hurt those things and his anger was kindled greatly And I want you to notice what's interesting about that verse is that in the same verse it says That Saul had the Spirit of God come upon him and his anger was Kindled greatly in the same verse in the same statement and I would submit to you this morning But it is possible to be spirit filled and mad as hell It's possible to be angry and have righteous indignation and in fact in some things we should and I'm not preaching on on that this morning, but when we think of the abortion holocaust in our country when we think about the LGBTQ takeover of our families when we think of the sin that is destroying the families Hey, there is a place to be angry and not sin. There is a place for righteous indignation There is a place to be spirit filled and to be angered and to have Your your your anger Kindled greatly like the Bible says here about Saul So as we consider what the Bible teaches about anger, we must first consider And the first statement is this when we consider the theology of anger We must consider first that it is possible for someone to be angry and not sin Go to James chapter number one. Hopefully you're there James chapter number one. Here's the second statement And I'd like you to write this down However Even though it is possible for someone to be angry and not sin Practically speaking most people sin when they are angry. I mean, isn't that the truth? The last time that you just you know lost your temper and and just went off on whoever you went off on You probably weren't just you know defending the innocent against the wickedness of God You were upset because they messed up your chicken wing order You were angry For something that had nothing of eternal value of any importance It is true that it is possible for someone to be angry and not sin In fact, there is a time and a place to be angry what we would refer to as righteous indignation against sin and against the hurt of the innocent but with that said Though it is possible for someone to be angry and not sin The truth of the matter is this that practically speaking Most people most people and I want to be clear when I say most people I mean most people most of you most of me most of everyone most people sin when they are angry James chapter 1 look at verse 19 Wherefore my beloved brethren let every man be swiftly here slow to speak slow to wrath We're gonna come back to that verse later on in the series look at verse 20 Why do you want to be swiftly here slow to speak slow to wrath? Here's why for the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God See there is righteous indignation But the truth of the matter is this that the wrath of man Worketh not the righteousness of God because usually when you are enraged when you are in wrath When you are in out-of-control Anger you are not doing the things that are right and pleasing before the Lord because practically speaking most people sin When they are angry So it is possible for someone to be angry and not sin but most people Sin when they are angry go to the book of Proverbs if you would Proverbs chapter number 17 and we're gonna be flipping through a lot of passages this morning because we're doing a Bible study on the Anger Proverbs chapter 17 if you open your Bible just right in the center You'll more than likely fall in the book of Psalms right after Psalms. You have the book of Proverbs Proverbs chapter number 17 Proverbs chapter 17 Look at verse 14 The beginning of strife The Beginning of strife what's right conflict contention fighting as a result of anger The beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water Therefore leave off contentions before it be meddled with You know, what's interesting is that the Bible says that when someone gets angry and when someone decides when someone chooses to get angry And by the way, let me just make this clear when you get angry. It's your choice You've chosen to get angry you've chosen to lose control The beginning of strife the Bible says is whereas when one letteth out water Here's statement number three most people sin When they are angry Because most people cannot control their anger See it is possible for someone to be angry and not sin But practically speaking most people sin when they are angry and most people sin when they are angry Because most people cannot control their anger. In fact, the Bible says that anger is like water He said the Bible says there the beginning of strife is as when one letteth out Water if I were to take this bottle of water that I have here and I were to let it out if I Were to spill it out if I were to allow it to leave this container Then it would be impossible for me to bring that back into this bottle See once you water pours out, you can't bring it back in and God says that's how anger is once you allow it out It's out of control Once you allow it to spill out once you allow it to come out once you allow the thrust out He says the beginning of strife is as when one letteth out water. It's like spilling water once It's out You can't let it back in see the reason that most people sin when they are angry is because most people cannot control their anger Go to Proverbs 15 if you would while you turn there, let me read to you from Genesis 49 in Genesis 49 We have the story of Jacob Dealing with his sons his sons in anger have murdered an entire city Genesis 49 in verse 6 says this oh my soul This is Jacob speaking about his sons come not thou into their secret unto their assembly might honor be not thou United notice what Jacob says about his sons He says for in their anger they slew a man and in their self will they dig down a wall He says cursed be their anger For it was fierce, and they're robbed For it was cruel I will divide them in Jacob and scatter them in Israel and and Jacob is expressing the fact that once these boys Allowed they are anchored to come out. He said there was no stopping it When their anger came their anger was fierce when the wrath came out it was cruel See it is possible to be angry and not sin However most people sin when they are anger when they are angered when they are angry And most people sin when they are angry Because most people cannot control their anger in fact That's what this series is all about it's called anger management because we're gonna learn to manage our Anger and really it's not about managing your anger because you don't have control over the fact that you get angry But you do have control over how you allow that anger to come out. It's not about controlling your anger It's about controlling yourself Within your anger Proverbs 15 if you would let me give you the fourth statement People Who cannot control their anger Become angry people Which means they do not get angry they are angry I Want you to listen to me very carefully dad Husband wife mother We like to use these little Phrases To try to explain away and excuse our behavior We like to say things like I'm just short-tempered I'm just hot-blooded I Just have a short fuse And we like to use these phrases and these kind of and we say those things and it kind of just takes away You know well, you know It just that's just how I am Just short-tempered The truth of the matter is this that The Bible teaches That when people do not learn to control their anger After some time I'm not controlling their anger of not controlling their anger of not controlling their anger because repetition creates habits After some time that person does not get angry they are angry It's not a person that got angry. It's an angry person This is what the Bible teaches let me highlight it for you Proverbs 15 look at verse 18 a Wrathful man stir it up strife Now here's how you and I would say it Mr.. I'm just short-tempered Mrs.. I just have a short fuse We were saying no no they stir up strife. That's why I'm wrathful. That's not what the Bible says The Bible says a wrathful man notice. He was wrathful first a wrathful man stir it up strife Let me explain something to you if you're constantly in the midst of a fight with people Everywhere you go you're fighting you're fighting with your spouse you're fighting with your kids you're fighting with your neighbor You're fighting with your co-worker. You're fighting with your pastor. You're fighting with your fellow church member Just you know you're fighting with the in-laws just everyone you're like everybody's a problem Hey, if you're fighting with everybody, maybe you're the problem There's one common denominator here. It's you See a wrathful man the Bible says stir it up Stripe angry people are not angry because they get in a fight no they get in a fight because they are angry I Mean let's just be honest can is there if there's anywhere we could be honest should it not be Church Let's just be honest with ourselves some of us are just a fight waiting to happen We're Just a temper tantrum waiting for a place to happen We're just a fit waiting to explode See the guy wasn't really that upset about a few chicken wings. He was just an angry person a Wrathful man stir it up strife, but he that is slow to anger a piece of strife look at chapter 16 verse 28 Proverbs 16 verse 28 People who cannot control their anger eventually become angry people Which means that they don't get angry they are angry Proverbs 16 verse 28 a froward man froward means Difficult to deal with you ever work with something like that Everything is a problem. Everything is negative. Nothing's good. Everything's an issue Everything's difficult everything is hard. No. We can't do it. Here's what I get you know everything. He knows the Bible says a froward man so it's strife and a whisperer separated the chief friends Proverbs 26 look at verse 21 Proverbs 26 verse 21 See the truth of the matter is this anger is not caused by something outside of you anger is caused by something within you And Quit blaming the circumstances well if they just got my order right here's the problem. There's always a reason to be angry When you're a fight waiting to happen there's always a reason to fight When you're a blow-up just looking for a place to blow up there's always just you don't take that long look You're not a genius Because you find mistakes and sinners It's pretty easy It's pretty easy to find a mistake that your nine-year-old makes that your 14 year old me It's pretty easy to find a mistake in your wife or in your husband It's pretty easy to find a mistake in your fellow church member. You're not a genius. It's not that hard If you're looking for a reason to fight, it's very easy to find one See angry people People who don't control their anger they become angry people which means they don't get angry they are angry They don't get frustrated they are frustrated Proverbs 26 verse 21 notice what the Bible says as Coals are to burning coals and wood to fire. I mean, what is that? think about that statement as Coals are to burning coals It's not that you're taking coals that are not burning and you're lighting them. That's not what it says It says you're taking coals and adding them to coals that are already burning You get that? at coal as coals are to burning coals coals that are already burning and Wood to fire. It's not that you take wood and set it on fire. Is that there's already a fire. You're just adding wood So Is a Contentious man to kindle strife see a contentious man is not we say Oh, they just set me on fire. You were already on fire We're just we're just adding wood to the fire that's already there We're just adding coal to the burning coals that are already there See people who cannot control their anger become angry people you say what does it mean to become an angry person? It means that you don't get angry you are angry You're looking For a place to happen you're looking you're a fight waiting to happen. You're a screaming match waiting to happen You're a blow-up waiting to happen Proverbs 29 look at verse 22 Proverbs 29 verse 22 Proverbs 29 verse 22 the Bible says this an angry man Stir it up strife See we think no no strife got stirred then I got angry. That's not what the Bible says The Bible says the angry man stirs up strife and A furious man abounded in transgression see anger is not caused by something outside of you It is caused by something inside of you When we consider the theology of anger we must consider that it is possible We must consider that it is possible for someone to be angry and not sin When we consider the Fact that it's possible for someone to be angry and not sin We must also consider the fact that practically speaking most people sin when they are angry Most people sin when they are angry because most people cannot control their anger It's like letting water out. You can't once it's out. It's out of control And people who cannot control their anger become angry people which means that they do not get angry it means they are angry Okay, okay pastor so far all you've done is describe my life What's wrong with that of course you're not saying it that calmly because you're an angry person So in your mind, there's all these cuss words and all of that to Proverbs 27 look at verse 4 here's statement number 5 The problem with being an angry person The problem with being an angry person Not someone that got angry Someone who is angry looking for a place to happen The problem with being an angry person is that uncontrolled anger is destructive Uncontrolled By the way, whenever anything's uncontrolled in our life, we're in the flesh We like to think we like to think oh, no, that was righteous indignation I was just some righteous indignation I had that no you were throwing a grown-up fit You were out of your mind you were out of control when the cash register is going through the window That's not in the flesh The problem with being an angry person is that uncontrolled anger is destructive Proverbs 27 this sounds very much like what Jacob said about his son's Proverbs 27 verse 4 notice wrath is cruel Think about that word cruel Cruel means just as as mean as possible as hurtful as possible. Let me tell you something dad I Just have a temper what's the big deal the problem is that when you're uncontrolled temper When you're fit waiting to happen happens That uncontrolled anger because it's uncontrolled you just go too far You say things to your family you say things to the people that you Supposedly love the most on this earth you say things to your wife you say things to your husband you say things to your Children in that wrath that are just so cruel So hurtful Bible says that anger notice verse 7 verse 4 wrath is cruel and anger is outrageous But who is able to stand before anything? He said I like the wording there. He says anger. It's outrageous. It's just like man come on It is is outrageous it is Unreasonable it is uncalled for See the problem of being an angry person is that uncontrolled anger is destructive Go to Matthew if you would Matthew chapter 5 in the New Testament keep your place in Proverbs We're gonna come right back to it keep your place right there in Proverbs We're coming back Matthew chapter number 5 first book in the New Testament Matthew chapter 5 You notice what Jesus said in Matthew chapter 5 we have one of those famous sermons in the Bible called the Sermon on the Mount and Jesus does this thing in the Sermon on the Mount where he deals with a Sin, and then he deals with the underlying issue of that sin He does that all throughout the book of Matthew one example is he says you know that you've heard that have been said Thou shall not commit adultery But he says but I say unto you that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after hath committed adultery with her in his heart He says it's not enough. It's not enough not just not to commit adultery He says you need to make sure that you're not even just lusting in your heart after another woman But the idea is this that all adultery began With lusting in your heart after another woman He says not just about the physical action. It's about the heart matter the heart of the matter in Matthew 5 21 he says this ye have heard that it was said by them of old time thou shalt not kill and We would probably pride ourselves that why yeah, I mean yeah, I get angry. It's not like I've ever killed anyone oh Yeah, that's a great. You know accomplishment there you never murder someone you Have heard that it had been said of old time thou shalt not kill and Whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment But I say unto you notice how Jesus connects these two that whosoever is angry With his brother without a cause Notice you say well. What what is you know? What does anger have to do with murder? Well, here's the thing more all murder is a result of uncontrolled anger and Here's the interesting thing that anger may not murder Your family member or your friends physically, but it can murder that relationship He says, but I see unto you that whosoever is angry with his brother Without a cause now. I love this because when Christians are in their flesh They don't think clearly and they come up with all the dumbest reasons Well, that's not me pastor every time I have you know every time angry. It's cuz I'm a cause It's cuz I'm her It's cuz I him Okay news flash Jesus is smarter than you are Yes, of course everyone that gets angry has a cause Everyone does When Jesus says whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause Here's what he means without a real legitimate cause We could take mr. Chicken fingers And he was there what I mean, they messed up my order, but is that a real reason to get that angry Is that a legitimate reason to get that angry He says look the truth of the matter is half the time we get angry it's for a stupid reason But I see unto you that whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause a legit cause a real cause Not your little hair triggered short fuse hot tempered chicken little of a reason cause Notice what he says shall be in danger of the judgment and Whosoever shall take to his brother rock eyes that would rock out there Shall be in danger of the council, but whosoever shall say notice these words thou fool Shall be in danger of hell fire would rock up Means the same thing as the word fool You mean and look isn't it true that an anger we say these types of things Jesus saying when you get angry, you know the types of things that you say when you have uncontrolled unreasonable on Legitimate anger is it aren't these the things we say to the person we're angry with you're a fool You're an idiot You're an imbecile You're stupid You're dumb See we think because we don't say the word rock ah This verse was not applied to us You know the Bible says Jesus said that when you get angry because of a stupid reason And you go around calling the people that you're angry with rock Or fool or imbecile or stupid. He said you're in danger of hell fire He says he says it's just it's the equivalent It's as bad you say well I didn't kill anybody But all murder begins with uncontrolled anger in your heart and look and here's what I'm trying to say I'm not trying to say that when you get angry as the equivalent of you killing somebody all I'm saying is this uncontrolled anger is destructive It destroys Go to Proverbs chapter 19 Proverbs chapter 19 I Said number one this morning When we consider the theology of anger We must first consider that it is possible for someone to be angry and said not we started there because that's the truth But the truth is this that most of us are not there And when we consider That it is possible for someone to be angry and not sin We must also realize that practically speaking most people sin when they are angry and most people sin number three when they are angry because most people cannot control their anger and People who cannot control their anger number four become angry people which means they don't get angry. They are angry and The problem with being an angry person number five is that uncontrolled anger is destructive Here's number six the problem With uncontrolled and destructive anger is that it will cost you in your life Proverbs 19 look verse 19 Proverbs 19 and verse 19 a man of great wrath Notice these words shall suffer punishment When you allow your uncontrolled destructive anger To just be out of control in your life You will suffer punishment It will cost you something You say what will it cost you go to Proverbs 21 look at verse 19? Proverbs 21 verse 19 There's two areas really three areas two. I want to cover this morning and one I'll mention There's two areas that your uncontrolled and destructive anger will cost you in one it will cost you in your relationships Look it's easy to get upset With the people that are closest to us that we love the most I mean just this morning You know confessing your faults one to another Just this morning. My kids were just you know on the verge of just you know. I was just a fit waiting to happen I Mean last night. I tell my kids hey Get All your shoes find all your shoes find all your belts put them all I told them I want you to put them underneath this This area here. I want to line them up in order from oldest to youngest. I said in on Sunday morning I don't want to be looking for shoes. I Don't be looking for anything line up these shoes and put them there You know they went off and did it scurried about Go off to raid and do whatever they're gonna do I say you guys get all your shoes together. Oh, yes father, you know We always do those things which are pleasing in your sight Not our will but thine be done. I Mean just just you know everything is ready, and of course we wake up Sunday morning looking for shoes Can't find the shoes, and you know I'm just getting irritated Like did I say I don't want to be looking for you. I told you a lot of you you all say you know Look I get it. I'm not I'm not up here like some hypocrite trying to tell you I've got all yeah I've got this all under control It's easy to get frustrated It's easy to get upset But when we allow uncontrolled anger to be destructive in our lives It will eventually cost us in our relationships Proverbs 21 verse 19 listen ladies. I don't think the day you got married. This was the your life verse I Don't think the day of your honeymoon you're like this is what I want to strive to be most women want to be the Virtuous woman I want to be the Proverbs 21 19 woman It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and an angry woman. That's why I want to be I Mean is that really what you said on the day You know this why I don't allow people to do their own vows first of all because most of the time It's a bunch of stupid garbage Roses are red violets are blue. No. No it's till death do us part for better or worse And in richer and poorer But I don't think when you wrote your vows you're like This is what it's bad. Just get ready for this honey It's better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and an angry woman here. I come I Don't think that was your goal I Mean is that really what you want your life to be I mean think about that verse. It's better to dwell in the wilderness Meaning your husband doesn't want to be around you and look we can flip this It could be vice-versa men have anger problems as much if not more than women Is this really what you want where your spouse? Literally avoids you does not want to be around you because of your anger a Man of great wrath shall suffer punishment the Bible says how am I gonna get punished in your relationships? It'll cost you in your relationships keep your place there in Proverbs go back to Ephesians I'm not sure if you kept your place in Ephesians. I meant to tell you to keep your place there Ephesians chapter 6 Please keep your place in Ephesians keep your place in Ephesians in Proverbs, so we're gonna go back and forth a little bit Anger anger will cost you in your relationships By the way you dating couples you dating couples Don't be one of these stupid dating couples. It's just like everything is wonderful. Everything's all great The whole point of dating is to look if there are any red flags That you want to avoid before you're married On this side of marriage we're telling couples don't do it. Don't go no that's bad news bad news I like oh, no, it's great. It's wonderful Then they get married and it's like I suppose the worst thing and I'm like you're stuck We're gonna lift. You know we're gonna work through it. Yeah, you're you don't get to leave Look if you're dating somebody and they get angry and they yell at you and They're mad, and it just seems a little out of control You Need to go run screaming and the other direction you say why because while you're dating you're seeing the best version of that person They're dressed the nicest they smell the best they're the thinnest they're ever gonna be You say I'm gonna marry him and he's gonna lose weight yeah, right You're like the millionth. You know guy that fell for that one You're seeing the bet if if the best version of you of them right now, it's You can only imagine what it's gonna be like once that those vows are done Look anger destroys relationships It is better to dwell in the wilderness than when they contentious an angry woman And you can flip that for the husbands as well Ephesians 6 and verse 4 the Bible says this and he fathers Provoke not your children to wrath But bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord Colossians chapter 3 verse 21 says fathers provoke not your children to anger lest they be discouraged Go back to Proverbs 22 if you would look at verse 8 Look you do whatever you want. I'm not my job is just to to tell you the truth My job is just to preach the Word of God to you You do whatever you want in your home And you treat your be your people the way you want and treat them But let me tell you something your uncontrolled anger will cost you in your relationships Your uncontrolled anger will cost you in your relationship with your spouse It will cost you in your relationship with your children you say well That's how I get them to do what they got to do I just this uncontrolled anger, and I'm not saying that children don't need to be disciplined Children should be disciplined and we're in the Bible teaches You know corporal punishment spankings, but please understand that that should never be done out of control That should never be done in anger When you spank your children you discipline your children it should be highly controlled Proverbs 22 and verse 8 says this he that sowed iniquity shall reap vanity don't miss his parents and the Rod of his anger shall fail Now does the Bible say to use the rod the rod and reproof give correction the Bible says The Bible says that we ought to use the rod to discipline our children, but when you use the rod in anger You will fail. That's what the Bible says You can sit there. Yeah, well, it's just how I discipline my kids I just scream at them and yell at them and call them names and make them feel as miserable and as worthless as possible Okay Go ahead and then when your teenage kids hate you I'll say well The rod of his anger shall fail When your adult children don't want to speak to you The rod of his anger shall fail You're saying we shouldn't discipline our kids I'm saying we should do what the Lord what what what God the Father does and we should lovingly discipline our children If Anger is your child rearing approach listen to me. Listen to me. Remember this ugly face. You will fail as a parent Anger is the way you get your wife to follow We'll see you in divorce court, I'm not justifying it I don't think people should get divorced for any reason The bozo you married has an anger problem. That's your that's you you did that But what I'm telling you is that uncontrolled and destructive anger will cost you in your life How will it cost me it'll cost you in a relationship You will destroy you will destroy your relationships because wrath is cruel And we allow when we allow our anger to just get out of control. We say things We do things we make people feel in such a way That the anger will appease and be abated and eventually things will go back to normal but that scar won't be there It'll cost you in your relationships Once you notice secondly, it'll cost you in your reputation Proverbs 22 look at verse 24 Proverbs 22 verse 24 Make no friendship with an angry man Notice we're not talking about strife here. There's no strife. There's just a guy who's angry You know what? God says identify an angry person and don't be around them Make no friendship with an angry man and with a furious man shalt the shalt thou not go It's funny because the Bible uses all these terms for an angry person You don't have to turn here in Proverbs 15 18. It calls him a wrathful man In Proverbs 16 28. It calls him a froward man in Proverbs 22 24 it calls them an angry man in Proverbs 26 21. It calls them a contentious man in Proverbs 22 21 20 29 22 it calls him a furious man You know that event you get mad enough long enough you'll just be known as that person that angry person The funny thing is that some of us are so foolish enough to carry that as a badge of honor But I promise you that when you're 70 years old when you're 80 years old when you're 90 years old you will regret the fact that your children left your home mom your children left your home dad and all they know was Mom was angry Dad was furious They didn't really get mad. They were just they just were mad They were just looking for a they were just a fight looking to happen. Is that how you want to be known? Not really the reputation you want See uncontrolled anger is destructive And uncontrolled destructive anger will cost you in your life. You say how will it cost you? It'll cost you in your relationship. It'll cost you a reputation and I don't want to Spend a lot of time on this but let me just say this it'll cost you in your riches I asked the guy who got mad at $12 wings and And and grabbed a six thousand dollar register slammed it on the floor Then threw it through a five hundred dollar window if his anger didn't cost him something I Mean we get so, you know, we get frustrated you you buy equipment you get so frustrated Yeah, get it work you spend a thousand dollars on some gadget and then you you know, you throw it, you know to the wall You taught that phone No phones ever gonna mess with you again It will cost you People you know, I don't know I think I think the jeweler business makes they make more money you think Oh, you guys make all your money off of lovebirds, you know Buying rings they you know, they make more money off of Couples fighting who want to take their wedding rings and smash them with a sledgehammer And say oh and I you know, I got I'm over it now. So let me go buy another $500 ring Look you're uncontrolled and destructive anger will cost you It'll cost you in your relationships it'll cost you in your reputations It'll cost you in your in your riches. Let me just say this if you've done that worrying thing. I don't know it. Okay How do you know cuz like half of marriages do that? That's how I knew Go to Proverbs 27 Proverbs 27 Here's the six statements. I'm gonna review these and then I want to give you some ending thoughts. I Said number one when we consider that the theology of anger We must first see that it is possible for someone to be angry and not sin I said number two, even though it is possible for someone to be angry and not sin practically speaking Most people sin when they are angry I said number three most people sin when they are angry because most people cannot control their anger. It's like water That's let out. You can't bring it back in Number four people who cannot control their anger become angry people which means they are not which means they do not get angry They are angry Number five the problem with being angry. Is that uncontrolled anger is destructive Number six the problem with uncontrolled and destructive anger is that it will cost you in your life It'll cost you in your relationships. It'll cost you in your reputation. It'll cost you in your riches Now let me explain to you what we're going with this series you are here on a sunny Morning as we start this brand new series. Some of you are very angry and I understand He said well you just trying to make me angry well, they didn't take much I'm hoping some of you I do get ticked off enough. So ticked off enough. You'll do something about it I'm hoping some of you get so angry. I you know, you get so angry You're gonna come back next week just as you like to be angry. You're gonna come everybody have to say Let me more angry Let me tell you where we're going with this series next Sunday April 18th. We're gonna learn about why we get so angry The Sunday after that April 25th, we're gonna learn about how to deal with our own anger the fire raging inside Sunday May 2nd, we're gonna learn how to deal with other people's anger the fire raging in someone else Let me just quickly explain to you why you need this series if the six statements on anger were not enough Let me give you two thoughts. Say why do I need to control my anger? Why do I need this series? Proverbs 27 in verse 3 Notice what the Bible says a stone is heavy and the sand weighty But a fool's wrath is heavier than them both Think about that verse a stone is heavy and the sand weighty But a fool's wrath is heavier than them both What is the proverb trying to teach us in? this verse Here's the lesson your uncontrolled and destructive anger is a burden to your family and your loved ones He says a stone is heavy and the sand weighty But a fool's wrath is heavier than them both. Did you know? Did you know that you're using I'm just this is just the way I am Well, let me tell you something. Let me explain something to you Maybe something that no one's ever explained to you because nobody has maybe the guts to explain to you because you're so angry You can go ahead and get angry at me if you need to I'm used to it I have enough people angry at me all the time Your uncontrolled and destructive anger is a burden to your family and Your loved ones when your family has to tiptoe around you when they have to walk on eggshells Around you when they have to you know, just be careful because anything just sets you off. That is a burden That you're placing upon the people you say you love When they have to put up with you losing your temper when they have to put up with you going up flying off the handle when they have to put up But those things it's an emotional burden Is that what you want Is that what you want your kids to deal with Your uncontrolled and destructive anger is a burden to your family and loved ones So why don't we spend the next four weeks learning to lighten that burden? You say that's not good enough give me another one, okay go to Romans chapter 12 is the last one This is the last thought I want you to look at two places Romans 12 and Ephesians Romans 12 is a passage. We'll look at very closely not next week, but the week after that Romans 12 in verse 19 says this dearly beloved avenge not yourselves But rather give place. I want you to notice these words give place unto wrath For it is written vengeance is mine. I will repay saith the Lord When Romans 12 19 says dearly beloved avenge not yourselves, but rather he says instead of avenging yourself I'd rather you give place unto wrath that term give place means to Put it somewhere to not let it control you But to put it away to give it a place to to say I'm gonna take this rock and I'm gonna put it Somewhere else. That's what the phrase means. It means but rather give place unto wrath now It's interesting because that phrase is used in another passage that has to do with wrath And I don't believe that anything in the Bible is incidental coincidental or accidental It says dearly beloved avenge not yourselves and I want you to remember this but rather give place unto wrath in Ephesians chapter 4 which is where we started this morning if you would look at verse 26 You're there in Romans first second Corinthians Galatians Ephesians. If you didn't keep your place there Ephesians chapter 4 look at verse 26 Ephesians 4 26 be angry and said not Let not the Sun go down upon your wrath look at verse 27 neither notice these two words give place Neither give place to wrath no neither give place to the devil Dearly beloved avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath Paul under the inspiration of the Holy Ghost writes in Romans and Paul under the inspiration of the Holy Ghost writes in Ephesians be angry and said not let not the Sun go down upon your Wrath neither give place to the devil Let me tell you something your uncontrolled and destructive anger is not only a burden on your family and loved ones but your uncontrolled and destructive anger is allowing the devil a foothold In your family He says give he says Give place to wrath put it away And he says and don't give place to the devil because we see when you give place to wrath You know what you're giving place to the devil Your uncontrolled and Destructive Anger is allowing the devil a foothold in your family It is allowing the devil a foothold a foothold To bring bitterness and rebellion within your home I'm angry. I hope you're angry enough to do something about it. I Hope you're angry enough To join us on this journey as we learn About why we get so angry How to control our own anger and how to deal with the anger of others Let's pray together. Heavenly Father Thank you Lord for your word Thank you Lord for the fact that your word tells us everything about everything everything we need to know about life and Lord I pray you'd help us. I Pray you'd help us to learn to control our anger Lord I realize that this sermon is highly practical It is highly practical the series because we all get angry We all deal with anger and we all lose control of our anger from time to time But let us not excuse it Let us not make these excuses and minimize it Help us to look At the Word of God today and realize this is something I need to deal with This is something I need to control This is something that will destroy my relationships destroy my reputation It'll be a burden upon my family and it'll be a foothold for the devil And Lord I pray you'd help all of us to learn to control our anger In the matchless name of Christ we pray Amen