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It's good to be in the house of God this morning as we celebrate Father's Day obviously Father's Day isn't something that's in Scripture, it's something that's just part of our American culture. We honor or recognize The fact that we have fathers in this world and the job of a father is not an easy one It's like we just celebrated Mother's Day in May even though they may not be in the Bible I have no problem with celebrating a holiday that that honors and respects mothers and fathers for the jobs that they do and I think it's a great opportunity to Make sure that we go back and about I like preaching sermons on these days. I don't always do it It's not something I have to do every single year, but it is it is a good thing to do. It's a good reminder hey, you know being a mother being a father is an extremely important job and you know today obviously we're gonna be focused on a father's I preach a sermon on mother's on Mother's Day and You know if you want to be a good father You need to be one that can follow the pattern that's set forth in Scripture The Bible has all the answers for everything that we need to know and if we're gonna look to see well How can I be a good father? I want to be a good father. Maybe you're a young man You don't have any children yet. Maybe you know you you have children, but you know, you're still you're still father So raising your children. Well, you want to be a good father. Let's look to the scripture and See what God says God's the one who created us God's the one who made male and female God's the one who said Therefore shall a man leave father and mother and cleave unto his wife and they too shall be one flesh God's the one who created the family. God's the one who made these things So why don't we look to him for the direction and the rules and and and what what the roles more importantly than you know? Just the rules but the roles of what he he wants for us to do and how he wants us to be and how we can Have the best lives as husbands as wives as fathers as mothers as children God gives us all of that and I also love this gives me an opportunity just to read from Ephesians chapter 5 if there's one Thing that our culture needs today is for Christians to read Ephesians chapter 5 For husbands and wives read Ephesians chapter 5 don't skip it. Don't ignore it Meditate on it. We had this as a Bible memory passage When was that was that earlier this year We did Ephesians chapter 5. This is an important portion of Scripture and one that will help Marriages if you can just humble yourself Man or woman to get in? your role in the family, so Let's dig in to Ephesians chapter 5 here where we're gonna get started Verse number 22 the Bible reads wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord's pastor versions I thought this is a Father's Day sermon. It is don't worry I'm not gonna spend a whole lot of time on this but it's amazing that even on Father's Day a day that you think You know people could show up to church and say well This is there should be a nice sermon a nice Father's Day sermon and you know what this is a nice Father's Day sermon But in the in the world's eyes when we go to Scripture and we look at God's Word Especially today This isn't that nice of a sermon now. I think there's nothing wrong with I think it's completely normal I think this is the Word of God This is the truth and this is what we need to be studying Even though it might make some people's head explodes this day because it's so contrary to what is currently being taught by Society by the culture by naturalists by humanists by people who reject the God of the Bible You know, they see things way differently and this is unfortunately the power that's at work by and large in our media in the music and the movies and in all the Influences in society is trying to change the culture the biblical culture of a family So we're gonna look and see what God has for us because I don't care what the world says I don't care what anyone says for that matter on how Family should be designed other than what God says about it because God is the final authority God is the one who's dictating here. What's right? And what's wrong? I mean, where do you get more your morality from you're sitting in a Baptist Church this morning I would assume you're getting your morality from the Word of God And that's what we're preaching here this morning is the Word of God So we're gonna look to the Word of God to give us our morality Give us our sense of right and wrong and for as men and women as husbands and wives as fathers and mothers What is our role what does God have for us to do what what would be pleasing unto God Because whatever that is is going to be the best for us So we started off in verse 22 wives submit yourselves on your own husbands is unto the Lord You can't misconstrue that statement there's no way of you know I'm not even saying anything else about it other than wives submit yourselves on your own husbands is unto the Lord That's what the Bible says. I Haven't even given an explanation on that verse. It doesn't need one. I Could further clarify it by saying yeah, that means exactly what it says and when it says to submit it means that you're you're showing that the husband has the authority within the household and being in submission means you're allowing your husband to make the decisions and to guide the house and To be the one in charge of things. That's that's Showing the the position of power authority is given to the husband and that God has commanded the wives to submit themselves on your own husbands and So much so that he adds as unto the Lord That's a lot of submission we think about how should we be submitting ourselves to the Lord Well, he's calling on wives here to submit themselves under their own husbands as unto the Lord. He's a big deal for God now again I'm not going to spend a lot of time on that point. It's just important as we're going through this We're looking at the scripture. This is wives and husbands Let's hear it. Let's hear from the Word of God Verse 23 for the husband is the head of the wife. This is you know, this isn't just the Apostle Paul Speaking his opinion, you know, we believe that holy men spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost That that God is giving us his word through man and that that's exactly what's being done here in the book of Ephesians The husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the Savior of the body Now since we're talking about Father's Day and you know husbands here particularly Husband is the head of the wife men if you want to be a good father First of all, you need to excuse me understand What your role is in the family? And in order to be the head in order to be the boss in order to be in charge of a family You can't be lazy You know if you work for a boss That's just extremely lazy and doesn't want to do anything, you know, either that boss is going to be replaced Sooner or later. I'm talking about like in a company right like you work for someone you have a boss It's just extremely lazy and doesn't want to do anything and they don't they don't like having Responsibility and they just kind of give all their responsibility everyone else and they don't do a thing Well, they're gonna find out quickly people above them are gonna realize. Hey this guy This guy's worthless. What do we have this guy around for? He's not taking his job seriously He's not doing what he's supposed to be doing and taking on the responsibility and taking on tests He's gonna be replaced or if he's at the top. It's gonna be you know, that company's not gonna be around very long It's gonna be destroyed now obviously You know, no one should husband shouldn't be being replaced All right, we don't believe in divorce the Bible says that God hates putting away okay, when you make a vow you're making it for life, but You need to understand that you your family is not going to function properly when you do not get into your proper role So just as wives ought to be submissive to her husband Well, it's real hard for a wife to be in submissive to her husband when you're not being a leader in the home when you're not taking charge or you're not stepping up to the plate and And taking the reins of the family and making important decisions and Guiding the family the way that you see fit because that is the responsibility that God has given unto you and Let's keep reading here look at verse number 24 therefore as a church is subject unto Christ so that the wives be their own husbands in Everything and that goes back to the submission of the wives But look at verse number 25 husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it now What goes hand in hand with the leadership and with the authority is? Love you want to be a good husband you want to be a good father, okay? It's not just enough to be in the position of authority and just be the dictator and say well This is what's gonna happen here. This is what happened here. You've got to have the love also The love is gonna balance out your authority so that you can make good Appropriate wise decisions for your family because you have the love for your wife you have the love for your family So you're you're gonna be thinking about them. You'll be thinking about their best interests as well as your own. You know ladies Or just people in general. You know don't get the wrong idea of what God's describing here first of all It makes sense that one person is in charge of a family Because if you've got two people with equal authority What do you do when there's a disagreement? What do you do? What do you do when people say well? I believe this and I believe that no We all what are we gonna do you know? You can never come to a full resolution within the household and that's going to perpetuate any type of strife Argumentation or you know things with an house, but if you have one person that God is said to be in charge Not just that made themselves boss, but God says no. This is the person that's in charge, then you could say okay Well, I guess that the buck stops there. Whatever he says. That's the rule That's what's gonna happen, and that's the way God designed it it should put an end to argument and strife so that women are just gonna have to realize that God designed you to be in a role of Submission right and men he's designed you to be in a role and put you in a role to be in one of authority, but he's balancing out that authority with love and You need to have the level of love just as the wife is supposed to submit herself as The church is subject unto Christ The husband is supposed to love their wife even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it's a self Sacrificial love to have for your spouse, so I mean you know Today's modern woman might might freak out going. What do you mean? He's a guy I have to submit everything to him Well if you've got a husband and really how bad would it be how bad is it? I'll ask that because not just some would it be there's many people in here have your godly women and godly godly men Husbands and wives how bad is it really when your husband really really really loves you and cares about you and is willing to give Himself for you is it really that bad for him to be in charge and make decision I mean is it really that bad does it sound like it's a such a horrible thing now I realize that there are people or husbands out there that don't love their wives as they ought to as Christ loved the church, but that's not part of God's plan in his design Right so just because you may have an example of someone who abuses their authority abuses their power Isn't you know right to their family doesn't make God's plan any less perfect or any less The will of God right this is God's will in our lives And it also he also doesn't give any caveats here of well if this person isn't doing their job, right? Then you don't have to do your job, right? And I brought this up time and time again I'm gonna keep bringing up is important We need to hear this over and over again That just because you may not agree or you may not think that your husband wives You might not think your husband is as loving as he ought to be you may not think he's the best leader that he that he could be or that he needs to be that doesn't change the fact that you're still supposed to be submissive to him and vice versa husbands just because your wife might not be the most submissive just because she may be Causing a lot of strife and problems and not going along with a program and not respecting your authority It doesn't mean that you get to love your wife any less You still need to have the self-sacrificial love for your for your wife Because that's what God commanded for you as a husband And and likewise for the wife he commanded the wives what they're supposed to be All we can do in this life is what we are supposed to do You can't force anything on anyone else at the end of the day. You can't do it We persuade people show people hey, this is the right way Let's live this way And then you can walk Your best to be a child of God the way that he has planned for you the way is outlined whatever role You're in whether you're a father or a husband a wife a mother child Whatever your situation is, right? You could only do your walk with the Lord, but you know what? This is what God has outlined for us to do So you do what you can do and I guarantee you it when P if people could follow this formula and follow this pattern Your your your marriages would be blessed and you'd find a lot more joy and peace in your family by following God's plan and Submitting to his program submitting. Yes, even those been submitting to his program and saying okay. Well, I've got a job to do I may be tired because I go to my to my other job at work and I work all day and I'm tired But you know what? I've got a job to do at home and Making decisions, you know being in charge of things is a great responsibility to have You're responsible for the people your family with decisions that you make with the with the decisions that you make to guide your family You're responsible for those So if you make foolish decisions that all rests on you You can cause bad things happen your family based on your decisions It's all the more important to make sure that you take the job seriously and and own it Right and and say no, I'm going to be the boss. I'm gonna do what's right. I love my wife I love my family. So I'm gonna do whatever research is necessary to make wise decisions. I'm gonna Invest the time necessary to make sure I don't make foolish decisions Verse 25 again husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself forward another role for the husband Continues to elaborate on this thought of loving your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself forward that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word That he might present it to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing But that should be holy and without blemish see Christ wants his church He wants us to be holy. He wants us to be without blemish He wants us to be able to live a life where we're getting the sin out of our life and we're walking Closer and closer to him and in the way that he would have us to and husbands, you know As you love your wives you ought to be thinking about your wives how you can help her walk as well and Help her not to have the blemishes in the end and and everything, you know and focused on her Not just her physical well-being but also her spiritual well-being as well You are called to be in authority not just over the the You know the the financial things or whatever it is, you know, however you deal with that But the the the most important is that the spiritual guidance and the spiritual leading So if you're going to be a leader if you're going to be in charge men You better make sure that you are doing more studying more reading more understanding so that you can keep yourself as Someone who can be respected as in the position of being a teacher being a leader Because it'd be a lot harder for your wife to submit yourself to her when she's doing a lot more study and reading and understanding a Bible than you do There's nowhere in Scripture. It says that men understand the Bible more than women It's not in Scripture. That's not that's not taught. There are different roles that God has placed on men and women. They're different There's not going to be a woman pastor in this church because God forbids it Okay, there's there's other rules that God has given that are different between men and women, but you know what? Women have the same value as men Women can understand the Bible just as much as men can women can serve the Lord and do just as much for the Lord as Men can God hasn't limited Women in their service to him and their value to him in their understanding of him in any of those areas God has just given different roles and it's and it's so that everything can function properly Because God wants everything functioning and it's at its best That's why God has given roles within the church because God God has given roles within the various members of a church that we could All be acting in unison and one accord and get the most done It's the same thing in the family God has given a job a role for the for the man for the woman for the children so that everything could be Functioning to its utmost if we're following his plan, then we'll be able to do that Let's keep reading here verse 29 for no man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it Even as the Lord the church for we are members of his body of his flesh and of his bones for this cause shall a man Leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife and they too shall be one flesh This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ in the church Nevertheless let every one of you in particular. So love his wife Even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband and this entire passage, you know The the husband side of things is focused on the love of the wife That is where the attention is put that is where God is is telling Husbands look you need to make sure that you're loving your wife because you know what your wife wants to be loved and It's telling the wives make sure you respect your husband reverence your husband because men want to be respected And you know what? That's the way that God designed us He knew that he knows the things that drive women and drive men. He's given us those things Innately naturally in in in our bodies in our DNA who we are And he set forward this pattern so that we can follow it now When you have a great respect responsibility as fathers do as men do as husbands do to be in charge your you know, as I mentioned before your decisions are going to impact everybody and It's more than just yourself. And if you want to be a good leader, you need to be able to lead by example You need to be able to show the right way not just say the right way any good leader Is going to lead by example if you want to have respect from someone respect doesn't come with a title Hopefully you all understand. I've I've worked at places before where where people have attained a title in a job by means just by virtue of being a relative of Whoever owned the company or whatever Those people don't don't didn't get the respect of the rest of the company Just because they're related to the owner There is no respect given there Why because they didn't earn any respect because they just came in with a title and wanted to tell people what to do They didn't know what they were talking about They didn't work very hard. They didn't prove themselves They didn't show themselves by example and and show that they were qualified to be in this leadership position. And you know what? Obviously women you need to be submissive your husband's whether or not you feel they're qualified But man, if you want your your your wives to respect you if you want them to reverence you help them out by doing a good job and leading by example and not just saying well you all need to do this and I'm gonna go sit over here and and and relax and you know do all this other stuff and And you know not care about anyone else, but just care about yourself No, you need to be a good leader and leading by example turn if you would to Proverbs chapter 3 Since his father's day I'm going to transition now that we did it was important to go over Ephesians 5 for the family of you know Husbands and wives But I'll focus more just on the children, right? I'm being a father on raising children because that's that's what what this where I really want to cover it Anyways is more important that but it starts with the right family life It starts with being the right husband. If you're if you're gonna be a good father, it starts by being a good husband You have to have that down Now On Mother's Day we covered How important the mother's job is to raise children because they're the ones that God is designed to spend the most time With the children, right? I mean God has designed man to be physically stronger capable of going out and working and Providing for his own family and that's what's been given to the man to do is to provide for your own Provide for your household provide for your family and That is a man's job and a woman's job. We covered this before With raising the children, however, that doesn't mean that that the wife or the mother is responsible Just 100% for all of the teaching and training of the children in the house Because again when you're at the top of the authority structure within the family the buck stops with you So You need to make sure you're managing or ruling your house Well, that's why the Bible says for someone to be a bishop Right one of the one of the qualifications that God gives is that they have to be one that rules this house Well having a children's objection with all gravity. So you need to be the boss in your house, but being the boss means you need to Take on all of the responsibilities, even though some of that is delegated to your wife to the mother You still have to oversee everything and you're going to be responsible for things being done within your own home And that is a great responsibility and when it comes to teaching and training your children, this doesn't just stop with your wife It's important dads as the spiritual leader of the house To be able to teach and guide your children also, I'm gonna read for you from Deuteronomy chapter 6 You're in Proverbs chapter 3 to stay there Deuteronomy 6 verse 6 the Bible reads in these words Which I command thee this day shall be in thine heart and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children and shall talk of them when thou sittest in thine house and when thou walkest by the way and when thou Liest down and when thou risest up and I'll tell you what that passage there you can read the whole context Moses wasn't just talking to women. He wasn't just talking to the mothers there He was talking to all the children of Israel and saying hey, this is a commandment unto all of you So the responsibility isn't just left with the the woman with the mother This command to teach the commandments of the Lord diligently unto thy children and talking about him basically Every chance you get right when you're sitting down when you're walking by the way when you get up when you lay down just Whatever. It doesn't matter what time it is You need to be instructing your children and diligently teaching them they need that and so God has given you whatever children you have and he's given you the responsibility of Raising them right in teaching them and equipping them for the future for their adulthood for when it's time for them To leave the house and go off and become their own Person you need to be equipping them for that in Proverbs. You see this more often Especially in the very beginning chapters the first eight or nine chapters just like verse 1 says in chapter 3 here the Bible reads my son Forget not my law, but let thine heart keep my commandments. This is a father to a son by the way This is you know the Proverbs or the Proverbs of Solomon, and we see this from his perspective my son Forget not my law and you're gonna see over and over and over again the admonition my son my son my son Hear my words my son receive instruction receivers my son look fathers Give your children instruction and wisdom and teach them and what we see in the book of Proverbs especially these are all real basics Basic life lessons they need to be taught this my son stay away from the strange Woman my son stay away from the booze and the alcohol my son You know don't go with the people are gonna try to be you know entice you to go rob others Don't go down the wrong path You need to be teaching them don't assume that it's gonna pick it up on their own don't assume They're gonna pick it up at church. Don't assume anything Don't even assume that your wife is teaching them all these things you take it on yourself to do it It is an important responsibility you communicate with your spouse you communicate with your wife make sure that she's teaching these things But you know what you need to be teaching them these things too My son forget not my law have a law for your kids if you have a law for your kids You know I I don't see how you can love your children and not have rules for them The people that don't love their kids have no rules. They let them go off and do whatever they want Parents that care about their kids are the ones that have rules for them forget not my law let thine heart keep my commandments verse 2 for length of days and Long life and peace shall they add to this is the explanation under the child saying please Follow my law, please listen to these rules because it's gonna be good for you. It's gonna benefit you It's gonna give you long days long life. It's gonna give you peace It's gonna give you peace and you could keep on reading through the chapter in Proverbs 3 all the great benefits that are listed off Just from listening in the commandments just from listening to dad's rules flip over to chapter number four We see again a very similar statement the very first verse Chapter 4 verse 1 hear ye children the instruction of a father and attend to no Understanding for I give you good doctrine forsake ye not my law Fathers if you want to give your children good doctrine You know that doesn't just come out of the top of your head Or out of the thoughts of your heart you need to be studying the Word of God You need to be studying the Bible you need to be getting in the Word if you're gonna teach good doctrine to your children You better know good doctrine You're not gonna know good doctrine just on a cursory reading of Scripture and just well yeah, I read that book once I Don't know how many years ago. It was look that's not how you're gonna Know good doctrine if you want to be a good teacher you have to really know the material It's one thing to learn something by being a student It's another thing for the student to come up and start teaching a class Right the amount of knowledge that you need and the wisdom that you need in order to teach is Goes up tremendously if you're going to be the teacher Father if you're gonna do the job that God has for you to do and teaching your children And you're gonna teach them good doctrine, and you're gonna try to keep your wife Unspotted and holy and without blemish you need to know good doctrine It's not enough just to show up to church. I Know you have a hard job because you're also responsible for providing the physical needs of your family So you need to be going off to work and working hard however long you have to work in order to provide the physical needs of your family But you know what your job doesn't end when you get off of work when you clock out when the when the bell rings It's time to go home your job doesn't stop That's not the end of the day for you Because you still have a job and being in a position of authority at home You have a responsibility to your children if you want your children to turn out right they need more than just food They need more than just clothing. They need a lot more than that They need your guidance. They need your wisdom. They need your instruction. They need your love. They need you to be there for them That's what makes a good father you need both You can't have one or the other right how are you gonna teach them good doctrine? You're not going out and doing the work that God tells you do and you're kind of lazy bum just sitting around and you know Collecting welfare or making your wife go off to work Okay, that's not you're not gonna be teaching a very good doctor in that way You're gonna be saying well do as I say not as I do Well, I'll tell you what what resonates a lot more with people is what people do not what they say It's a sure way to destroy your testimony is just be a Pharisee Be a Pharisee because that's what the Pharisees did the Pharisees would say they'd speak the law of Moses There's you guys you got to do this you got to do that and they wouldn't do any of it They weren't do it was all a big show for them You need to establish The instruction for your children know the Word of God know it enough to teach your children You may not have all of the deepest understandings and everything else don't worry about that. How about you start with Proverbs? Get good in Proverbs where we have all these instructions to a son. It's a great place to start you say I don't know. I don't know the Bible. I will start with Proverbs and I mean your child may be maybe already be halfway growing up to an adult It doesn't matter get started now if you didn't get started before get started now And if you're planning on being a father get started now Be able to instruct your children when you have them and And give them good doctrine The Bible says in Proverbs 22 verse 6 flip back to Proverbs chapter 3 Proverbs 22 6 says train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it Man, I love that promise. I love that statement in the Word of God Train up a child in the way he should go and When he is old he will not depart from it It's easy to get distracted with with the day-to-day routines and the and the and the little things that come up and the distractions and Whatever all the Little things the things that could cause you get upset the things that break the messes the you know All these other things that go on You need to be able to rise above that to keep in focus You are directing the life of your children And and what you teach them as children will stay with them for their whole life That Holds a lot of importance and a lot of value And if you want your children to be good people you want you want as a parent To be proud of your children and how they turn out train up a child in the way. He should go Train up a child you have to do that when they're young Because when they're old they won't depart from it Besides The doctrine besides the teaching besides giving the wisdom through having good doctrine through knowing the Word of God you also need to be able to discipline your children and discipline them and correct them biblically The way that God is ordained the way that God lays out for us. I Had you turn to Proverbs 3 right look at verse number 11 the Bible says my son despise not the chastening of the Lord Neither be weary of his correction now. This is The father just explaining to his son not to get mad when God chastens you when God disciplines you When you get punished of God, you know don't be weary with his correction for whom the Lord loveth. He correcteth Even as a father the son in whom he delighted So he's explaining this here that if God's correcting you if you're going through some hard times You did something wrong God's correcting you that means God loves you and Just as he's explaining that well God God loves the people he corrects Even as a father the son in whom he delighted. Are you delighted in your children? Do you love your children? Then you need to correct them You need to discipline them. You need to chasten them if you love them. You will do those things Proverbs 22 verse 15 you could turn to Proverbs 23 Proverbs 22 15 says foolishness is bound in the heart of a child You don't have to teach a child to be foolish and do foolish things Comes naturally, they're real good at it. Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but here's where the correction comes Here's the instruction in the wisdom and the guidance of a parent of a father is going to come in They're going to have foolishness it's bound in the heart of the child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him Do you want your children to grow up to be fools? Do you want that that foolishness that's bound in their heart to remain in their heart? so they can just grow up and be foolish for as growing into their adulthood and Then instead of getting into small problems when they're children You know, they're they're breaking things. They're not doing what they're supposed to be doing. They're not cleaning They're not doing school this stuff well, if you don't correct that they're gonna grow up and Then it's gonna be problems with the law then it's gonna be problems with other people that's gonna be more serious problems and They're gonna become fools and they're gonna live a miserable life Start early Use the rod of correction. This isn't this isn't just You know Strong language without the actual meaning behind it of saying the rod of correction shall drive it far from that So it says the rod of correction because it's talking about a rod If you don't believe me look in Proverbs 23 verse 13 where the Bible says withhold not correction from the child Withhold not correction from the child for if thou beatest him with the rod he shall not die So we just saw the rod of correction driving foolishness far from the heart of a child and here saying You're beating the child with the rod Saying it's not gonna die Thou show the verse 14 thou shalt beat him with the rod. Do we need to make it any more clear? Watch out for the people who try to make excuses for what God's Word says and try to say well This doesn't really mean that you actually use a rod to be Like thou shalt not murder. Well, it doesn't really mean that you shouldn't kill people But that's what it says thou shalt beat him with the rod And shall deliver his soul from hell I Think the problem most people have with this verse is just because it uses the word beat and the way that we understand the word Beat today, you know when you think of the word beat you're thinking of someone getting completely beat up, you know, bloody bruised Injured things like that. That's not what the Bible is talking about when it's talking about getting a beaten Maybe something better if you're getting a whooping right? I don't know what whatever word is used Nowadays to convey the meaning. I mean, it's not that far off from B. It's just It's not talking about a physical injury. You're not talking about because you love your children, right? You're not out to hurt them and injure them but the correction is necessary the correction of a rod to provide that sting to provide that that that Bit of pain that's gonna resonate with the child to help them understand Hey, if I do this, there's a bad consequence That's gonna come my way by engaging in bad behavior Which I believe is also why the Bible says here thou shalt beat him with the rod and shall deliver his soul from hell Because hell is the ultimate, you know bad punishment for bad behavior, right that is it, you know an eternal Horrible punishment to face but what we have today is a bunch of kids when they don't get corrected when they don't get spanked As children when they don't get the rod It's a lot of harder to imagine that there can be such a bad consequence for their actions It's it's this, you know when they start off young it's a lot easier understand Oh, yeah, when I do bad bad things that happen to me you start teaching them to cause an effect And when they understand that relationship really well starting as a young child Yeah, when I do bad, oh man, I don't want to deal with I don't want to face that I don't have nothing to do with that It's a lot easier to understand the concept of hell because we can't physically see hell we take it on faith But it's real Exists Giving them that Correction that they need as children. Not only is it gonna help them to stop, you know to stop being foolish It's also gonna help them in the long run to understand that the you know There are even bigger consequences for sin and and to realize that and understand that as children now With the correction turn if you go to Colossians chapter 3 Colossians chapter 3 It is important and I believe mothers and fathers ought to be involved in the correction the discipline of their children But just as with Everything in Scripture there's a good balance that we need to have for our lives. There's a good balance We talked about the the the husband having the good balance of yes having the authority in the household But also loving your wife enough to give yourself for so you're not being this this jerk mean dictator to your wife Just because you can be just because I'm gonna have fun I'm gonna mess with her and I'm just gonna make all these rules because she needs to follow me Anyways, no, you love your wife, right? Yeah You're not gonna do that the proper balance is so I really love my wife so whatever decisions I make whatever rules yes I'm an authority. Yes. It's my responsibility But I'm gonna be thinking about everybody in the family when I make these decisions because I love them So it's it's gonna help guide you to make the right decisions. Well also with your children, you know, you ought to love your children So when you love them, you're gonna do things that are unpleasant Sometimes you're gonna need to give them that rod you're gonna need to give them the discipline that they need. It's not pleasant It's not fun. No one likes doing it No one likes hearing they're crying no one no one likes, you know It's having to stop maybe what you're doing to go deal with that, but it is important But we also need to remember don't you know? Unfortunately in this world with this full of sinful people. Sometimes people take things too far also in this regard and We are we need to understand, you know, yes while correction is important. Don't go overboard with it Don't injure your children Don't don't take it so far To where your children are just gonna despise you Because you're going way overboard on the disciplining. How about you show some of the grace and the mercy and a long-suffering that the Father in heaven has for us because We already saw the instruction. Hey when you're chastened of the Lord, you know, don't be discouraged Don't be upset because God loves everyone that he chastens But you know what God also has mercy and forgiveness and long-suffering too and a good father is not only gonna have The chastisement the discipline for his children. He's also gonna have the love and the long-suffering and the mercy on his children You have to have both You have to have both to be a good father Colossians 3 verse 21 the Bible reads fathers provoke not your children to anger lest they be discouraged So while correction is necessary, we need to make sure that we're not just provoking them to get angry You're there to support them. You're there to help them You're there to guide them and train them and instruct them not just to make them angry Because you're gonna end up doing more damage they're gonna get discouraged and they're not gonna want to follow the ways that you ought to be Laying forth for them and you ought to be leading through example And Through all of this through all of fatherhood. Don't forget the end of all of the work with your children 3rd John verse 4 reads I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth and That is the true blessing you get as a father later on in life when you can look back and say yes I you know what I I studied the scripture. I corrected them when they needed it I provided them love and attention. I did my best to lead I did my best to show them right and to teach them good doctrine and I didn't and then you can see them start to Grow up and they're walking in truth That is the end result that is a good result and in the influence and the impact you have is profound on your child's life Give them the equipment that they need give them the tools they need give them the wisdom that they need To be good people to be good children of God to do good works for the Lord in this life Help them to become better than you've ever been I Want to look at example here turn if you go to Genesis chapter 14 We Have many many great people to look to as examples in Scripture for different reasons, and I think Abraham is my favorite example of someone who had not only great leadership skills, but also was a great parent and Husband now did he have sins and errors? Yeah, of course he did he had problems He made some mistakes and we see those in Scripture I think God shows us that just so that we don't ever elevate any one person above what we ought to elevate him to He didn't do everything right? But you know what by and large what? What Abraham is known for and we're gonna see by the time we get through all this how God feels about Abraham also And I love seeing this example here Let's start with his example just as a leader in his own house as someone in authority over his whole household And and the ability had to have people follow him because just because your leader doesn't mean people are gonna follow you Right, you can have the title of being a leader I talked about this before but not doesn't mean people are just going to be able to be willing to follow you a good leader Is someone who's gonna have people, you know excited to follow them. They're there with you They're dedicated to you and they will be in unison with you in whatever direction you decide to go That's the marks of a good leader and the fathers need to be a good leader at home Let's see an example here in Genesis 14 of Abram starting in verse number 12 the Bible reads and they took lot Abrams brothers son who dwelt in Sodom and his goods and the part and this is when there was a war five kings against four Kings right and lots in the middle of this He's in middle this these countries that are having war with each other and he gets taken captive his whole household, right? And then Abram hears about this he understands. Hey, you know Lots of prisoner of war I'm gonna go bust him out verse 13 says in there came one that had escaped and told Abram the Hebrew For he dwelt in the plain of Mamre the Amorite brother of Eshkol and brother of Aenarim and these were confederate with Abram Look at verse 14 and when Abram heard that his brother was taken captive He armed his trained servants born in his own house Three hundred and eighteen and pursued them unto Dan so Abrams able to lead this small army of you know three hundred and eighteen people These were his servants, right? So he was the boss. He's in charge and these are servants are born in his own house, right? So these are people that he's known very well. He's had this this this long relationship with these people But he was able to arm them 318 they pursued them unto Dan verse 15 says and he divided himself against them he and his servants by night and Smote them and pursued them unto Hobah which is on the left hand of Damascus and he brought back all the goods and also brought again his brother Lot and his goods and the women also and the people now we Don't have the exact numbers of how many people were in the in the the opposing army But it was five kings against four kings in that battle Versus Abraham's household I Mean I don't see how you could think they weren't outnumbered But Abraham had enough clout with his servants with the people ordered them Not just to be able lead them and I don't think he just led them in fear because it says he divided himself against them So he had two different troops and factions and they were working together as a team He was able to lead them to this great victory Obviously God's the one that gave him the victory but but they followed Abraham They were doing you know Whatever it was that he had them to do they were willing to put their lives at stake and go in and say yep We'll do this for you That is a true test of a great leader flip over to Genesis chapter 18 Genesis chapter 18 Not Only was a good leader. He's a good leader with with his servants. He was a good leader at home with his wife Genesis 18 verse number 10 the Bible reads and he said I will certainly return unto thee according to the time of life this is when when God is promising that he's gonna have a son and That Sarah is gonna have a son and this is the child of promise and this is this is when he's receiving this information Right before God destroys Sodom and Gomorrah It's a whole nother sermon verse number 10 here and he said I will certainly return unto thee according to the time of life and lo Sarah thy wife shall have a son and Sarah heard it in the tent door which was behind him now Abraham and Sarah were old and well-stricken in age and it ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women So they're really old Sarah's already, you know beyond her childbearing age and She kind of doubts so she laughs like what I'm really gonna have a child now verse number 2012 says therefore Sarah lat within herself saying after I am waxed old shall I have pleasure My lord being old also say how is this gonna happen? I don't you know, we're both really old How am I gonna have kids? But what I want to you know, that's what she's thinking That's what you're saying, but in her heart in her mind No, she said my lord being old also She is referring to her husband as being her lord my lord my boss This isn't an outward Thing to sound spiritual in front of other people. This is no one else is no one would even know about this If it weren't written in the scripture Because God knew her thoughts God knew the thoughts of her heart This was in her heart and you know what this very event this statement that she made my lord being old also is is Referred to in 1st Peter chapter 3 you don't have to turn there stay in Genesis 18 1st Peter 3 verse 5 says for after this manner in the old time the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves Being in subjection unto their own husbands even as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord Whose daughters you are as long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement likewise he husbands dwell with them according to knowledge giving honor unto the wife as under the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered and And I'll tell you this much, you know Not to take anything away from Sarah because she's being referred to as a very godly Holy woman here in the scripture to be able to have that obedience and even calling him Lord But I don't think she was left alone in that in that state of being submissive I think she it was easy for her to do that because Abraham was such a good leader Because he was a good husband at home because he loved his wife He cared for his wife and it made it a lot easier for her and her being godly made it easier for him to love It works both ways But when you have a great marriage and a great relationship and you follow things the way that God has laid out to do it You're going to be blessed and and you'll find yourself. I mean, this is some great recognition here Sarah had in her heart calling him Lord and I think this just demonstrates even further to Abraham's ability to be a great leader both in the home as well as on the job But look at verse number 17 in Genesis 18 Because this is this is the best Compliment you can ever receive because this is coming from the Lord Regarding Abraham verse 17 says in the Lord said shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do and he's talking about destroying Sodom and Gomorrah verse 18 seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him look At verse 19 for I know him. I know I know Abraham I know him that he will command his children and his household after him and They shall keep the way of the Lord to do justice and Judgment that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he had spoken of him God needs I know Abraham Abraham's got the character Abraham's got the I know him. He's gonna raise his family, right? He's gonna raise his children. He's gonna guide his household and they're gonna follow the ways of the Lord What a great example of a man of God of someone who's following the Word of God This is what we need to be striving for Would to God that you could be a father that God knows and says you know what I know I know this person I Know that they're gonna raise their children, right? What a great testimony Abraham's a great example of a great father now I'm gonna skip over this for sake of time last place. We're gonna look at is in 1st Samuel chapter 8 So that's want to give this this last warning Warning the people who may have a lot of zeal to serve the Lord and actually do a lot of great things but end up neglecting the raising of your children Because this is extremely raising your children is so important. There's various aspects of that We cover some of that some of its discipline teaching training spending time with them Okay, encouraging them being there for them all things are really important. It's a hard job If you're gonna be good at it, it's a hard job Anybody can be involved in a relationship and produce a child, but if you're gonna be a good father, that's a hard job It Requires a lot of effort and What we never want to do is become Imbalanced in our lives and it's even possible to be imbalanced In your service to the Lord Say best words. How is that even possible? Well? if God has given you children God has given you children and We see that we are supposed to teach them and train them and give them these rules and and be there for them Don't neglect your children to go off and serve the God in some some other capacity and Let them girls sit still Don't don't allow for your children then to go off and not have the direct Instruction and influence that they need from you as a parent because that can't be replaced with anybody else You're their father You give them the instruction that they need we see one example There's other examples, but one example, I just want to look at is Samuel himself Samuel had an interesting childhood He was born of a family where this man had had a wife who was not able to bear children she was barren and She prayed unto God and he had multiple wives But would you know she prayed unto God and his promise God said God if you could just give me a child You know basically that she would give him up to serve the Lord and That's what happens. She he answers her prayer She has a son Samuel and then she she gives him to to Eli basically the priests To raise that child in the service of the Lord from when he's a young a young boy Now Eli was not a great father either now. He was that he was a priest He was a man of God. He served the Lord, but he raised children that turned out to be reprobates They were children that sons of Belial the Bible says I mean they were doing all kinds of horrible things and God ended up Judging the house of Eli, but this is kind of who his father figure was that was mostly raising him And there's multiple lessons to learn from this One is the influence that the father has on You know the person raising the child has on that person and and how they end up growing up and what they end up doing Right can oftentimes be traced back to how they were raised That those the way that you train up a child, you know They if you you know the good and the bad will stay with the children So you want to be real careful with that that doesn't mean you can't overcome You know a bad upbringing, but it does go a long way You know and influences that child, but then we see Samuel now His children it doesn't say they were children the devil I don't think he was quite as bad as Eli But in verse 1 of first Samuel 8 the Bible says and it came to pass when Samuel was old that he made his sons Judges over his over Samuel was a judge and you know what Samuel was a great judge and Samuel served the Lord Mightily and did a lot of great work for God and and and really really did a lot to serve the Lord with his life But now when he's old he makes his sons judges over Israel He's ready to pass the torch on to them Verse 2 says now the name of his firstborn was Joel in the name of a second to buy Uh, they were judges in Beersheba and his sons walk not in his ways But turned aside after lucre and took bribes and perverted judgment When you raise your children, right They're gonna follow your ways Something lacked in Samuel's upbringing of his children They may not have turned out to be reprobates, you know, he'd worked with them enough, but you know what? He didn't work with them enough because when you're taking bribes and perverting judgment, that's pretty bad That's that's a pretty bad stain on You as a father to have your children doing such foolish things like that and not even able To be good judges because all they care about is the money and they're willing to pervert judgment for that That's that's a stain on a father So while Samuel may have done many great things to serve the Lord he failed with his own children You can still serve the Lord greatly Without failing your children see the thing is with failing your children You know you want to raise people that can go out and do more and I think that that just as You get rewards that are applied to your accounts say when you support people who are preaching the gospel you do all these other things You can kind of get rewards are added to your account if you are gonna raise godly children that are able to Go forth and have a good testimony and witness the people and do that much for the Lord And you've been involved in helping them to do that. I think you get rewarded for that as well in heaven Not that you even need that as a motivation because ultimately that joy and satisfaction of raising godly children is enough But let's not lose sight if you have children don't don't lose sight on other things because the raising of your children is extremely important and no one else can do that job, but you I Appreciate all the fathers that are here today and the fathers elsewhere I appreciate my own father and in you know his efforts and being a part of my life it has had a lot of impact and how I was brought up and You know good fathers These days are getting harder and harder to come by Let's look to Scripture and and and strive to be better better Husbands better fathers and fall into the role that God has laid out for us as far as I've ordered prayer dear Heavenly Father Lord we thank you so much for giving us all the instruction that we need To be fathers to be husbands Lord, and I pray that you would help us nobody here is perfect as you very well know and Lord, but just Help us to Take on the the job the tasks the responsibilities that you've given to us Lord and not to grow weary But just to simply do it and and to have the faith to understand in the end that that Things will all work out and if we do if we train up a child in a way You should go when he's old. He will not depart from it and and that Lord help us to never lose sight of those things help us to be the good examples and leaders that we need to be Lord and I pray that you please help us in this weird culture. That's trying to Attack men and attack women and attack our roles Lord that that the men of God can stand strong and and defend what's right and what's true and in how you created us dear Lord and not to succumb or back down to The the craziness of the world that we live in the words in Jesus name we pray. Amen