(Disclaimer: This transcript is auto-generated and may contain mistakes.)

Now in Romans chapter 12, we have this great passage about the church, talking about the church being as the body of Christ and all the different members in the body. And the Bible talks about how they have different roles and different functions. He also talks about having peace with one another, loving one another, just getting along with one another. But as I was studying this, I noticed that a lot of the principles in this passage that have to do with getting along in the local church, all of these principles actually carry over into marriage. They carry over into siblings, getting along with their brothers and sisters. And so there's a lot that we can learn about just getting along with people and how to have a good marriage, how to get along with our fellow church members, our brothers and sisters physically, especially for children that are growing up in the home. And big families, a lot of siblings, they need to learn how to get along in the church. We're brothers and sisters in Christ, how to get along. It's all found in this passage. And I want to point out seven specific things tonight about how to get along, whether it's in church, in marriage, whatever. The first thing I want to point out starts in verse number four, where the Bible reads, for as we have many members in one body, and members there is a body, that means body parts. He says, all members have not the same office. So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another, having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith, or ministry, let us wait on our ministering, or he that teacheth on teaching, or he that exhorteth on exhortation, he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity, he that ruleth with diligence, he that showeth mercy with cheerfulness. And I think the first thing that's going to help us to be able to get along with people in the local church, and be in one accord and have peace, is that we understand that different people have different roles in the church. Different people have different functions. We don't all have the same office. We don't all have the same job. And God doesn't expect us all to be the same. We're all different, and we need to understand that in order to get along. Flip over to 1 Corinthians chapter 12. 1 Corinthians chapter 12 is kind of a parallel passage with Romans 12. They both talk a lot about spiritual gifts, and they cover some of the same things. Now, while you're turning there, let me just go through some of those gifts for you. He talked about those who prophesy. He says, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith. Now, when the Bible says prophesy, a lot of people misunderstand that to mean just telling the future, like someone who can predict things. But in fact, the word prophesy means preaching. That's actually what it means. And there's a lot of scripture that can be used to prove that. One thing I would point to is Proverbs 31, when it says the words of King Lemuel, the prophecy that Heather taught him. None of that is a prediction of the future. It's just preaching. It's just things that are being preached unto Solomon or Lemuel by his mother. And if you study the word prophecy in the Bible, it's preaching. That's what it means. But is everyone a preacher? No. Different people in the church have different roles. First of all, we don't believe in women preaching in the local church. The Bible speaks highly against that in 1 Corinthians 14, 1 Timothy chapter 2. But not only that, every man isn't a preacher. Some people just don't have that gift. And the Bible here is talking about people have different gifts, different talents, different things that they're naturally good at. And so some people preach, some people don't. We have the preaching class every other Saturday night. And some people are never going to go to that preaching class. And they're never going to want to stand by in the pulpit and preach, because it's just not their gift. It's just not their calling. And that's fine. But the Bible also lists their ministry. Ministry just means serving, whatever the service that's needed. The Bible says, he that teacheth on teaching, he that exhorteth on exhortation. Exhorting would be motivating and getting people fired up and so forth. He that giveth, let him do it with simplicity. He that ruleth with diligence. And when it talks about ruling with diligence, that's the person who basically organizes things, delegates things, and tells people, hey, OK, you do this. You do this. And makes everything operate smoothly. And then he that showeth mercy with cheerfulness. So the Bible is just talking about a lot of different gifts that people have. Some people are doing the preaching, some people aren't. Some people are the song leader, the piano player, cleaning the building, greeting people, making the bulletin. Whatever the case, everybody has different things that they're good at. Some people are good at encouraging people and showing mercy and kindness to people and reaching out to people and just being a good friend. We all have different things that we're good at in the local church and other things that are not our strength. And what we need to realize is that everyone's job is important. It's not just the pastor that's important. It's not just the song leader that's important. It's not just the piano player that's important. But you're important, no matter who you are. And you say, well, I don't do much. But if you just show up here and you're a friend unto other people and you love people and you pray for them and you're friendly to them and smile at them and greet them and get to know them, you're actually helping our church grow and succeed and thrive. Because you are making our church a friendly church. You're making our church a place where people can come and feel loved and feel like they're part of a church family, not just coming like it's a movie theater or something. You just sit down, watch the show, leave. That's not what a church is supposed to be. It's supposed to be a body, a congregation of people that love each other and pray for each other and encourage each other and build each other up. And anybody can do that. And other people who maybe clean the building, that's something that's done behind the scenes, but it's necessary. And other people who organize events and they plan different social events. And you say, well, social events, it's not a social club. Yeah, but you know what? People need to have a social life. That's part of life. We're not living in a monastery. We're not these ascetic people who beat ourselves in a monastery and kneel on grains of rice and just pray from morning till night. That's not what we believe in. We believe in living a normal, balanced life and going to work and being married and having kids and enjoying life and serving the Lord with gladness and not just trying to just see how ascetic of a lifestyle we can live and have no fun. And by the way, people who live that lifestyle, a lot of times they end up crashing and burning. Because it's not sustainable to have no pleasure in life. And God never said, hey, just never have pleasure. Just live a life of pain and suffering. There are religions that teach that. There are Buddhists who do that. There are Catholics who do that. We don't believe in that as Bible-believing Christians. And so we believe that socializing is a good thing. And the Bible talks about getting together and eating and drinking with gladness and enjoying fellowship one with another. And it's better for us to have our social life be with God's people than to just be socializing with the world all the time and getting all that bad influence. And so we need to have friends in the church, Christian friends. And so that is an important part of our church, the fellowship, the friends, the socializing. I believe in it. I think that it's one of the things that makes our church a great church is all the great friends. And I think it's important. It should stay that way. But there are people who organize things like that. But look at 1 Corinthians 12, verse 17. It says, if the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? Say, look, if everybody is the same, you don't have a body. If it's just one giant eye, that's not a body. It says, if the whole were hearing, where were the smelling? These things all are important. But now, if God set the members, every one of them in the body, as it had pleased them. And if they were all one member, where were the body? But now are they many members, yet but one body. And the eye cannot say into the hand, I have no need of thee, nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you. Nay, much more, those members of the body which seem to be more feeble are necessary. So what the Bible is saying is, some people in the church that we might not think are important are necessary. Now, nobody says, hey, the pastor is not important. But here's the thing. There are other people also that we might look at as less important. But the Bible says they're necessary. See, the pastor might be the one who everybody sees and is front and center. But there are other people who, behind the scenes, are making this church succeed and are playing an important role in the kingdom of God. And the Bible teaches that there are people behind the scenes that are important and necessary. We all have a role to play and a role to fill. And so we never want to stop thinking that we're important. Because a few verses up from this, he talked about people feeling like they're not really part of the body and people feeling like they don't really have an important role, and really they do. But you say, what does this have to do with getting along with one another? Well, when we respect other people's job and other people's role, we don't get an attitude of, well, I'm more important. Why aren't you doing what I do? I'm doing X, Y, and Z. I'm cleaning the building. Why don't you clean the building? Because everybody does their own thing. Everybody has a different role and a different job. And part of getting along in the church is to understand that. And look what the Bible says in verse 23. And those members of the body which we think to be less honorable, upon these we bestow more abundant honor. And our uncomly parts have more abundant comeliness. For our comeliness parts have no need. But God had tempered the body together, having given more abundant honor to that part which lacked, that there should be no schism in the body, but that the members should have the same care one for another. He's saying, look, everybody's important. We should care about everybody. And some of the parts of the body that are the least attractive, he says, are actually some of the most important parts of your body. You might think of parts of the body maybe, I don't know, what part of the body is not attractive? Your guts, your insides. But they're performing an important role. Maybe your feet aren't the best looking feet in the world. But you need them. They get you from A to B. And so he's saying, look, the uncomly, because comly is referring to how good they look from the outside. Some of the uncomly parts are necessary. And so some people in the church that we think maybe don't play an important role, they're expendable. But it's really not true, because everybody is important. Now look at Luke chapter 10. Luke chapter number 10, and we see the story about Mary and Martha. And they're performing two different roles in Luke chapter 10, beginning in verse 38. Now it came to pass as they went that he entered into a certain village. And a certain woman named Martha received him into her house, Luke 10, 39. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister had left me to serve alone? Bitter, therefore, that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things. But one thing is needful, and Mary hath chosen that good part which shall not be taken away from her. So here's Martha serving the Lord in her way, which was to be in the kitchen, making food, bringing drinks, and so forth. Whereas Mary is just sitting at the feet of Jesus and listening. And Martha is basically saying, I want Mary to be like me. I want Mary to do what I'm doing. And Jesus says, no, Mary is doing what Mary's doing. And in fact, what she's doing is better than what you're doing. And so we want to make sure we don't get an attitude of, well, why aren't they doing this? I'm doing it. Why don't you do it? And having this idea that we're all supposed to do the same thing. No, we're not. Not everyone has to preach. Not everyone's cut out for leading the singing. Not everyone has the job of cleaning the building. Or not everybody is running a soul winning time. Or not everybody, we all have different roles and different gifts and different abilities. And we shouldn't look down on other people and think, well, you know, I'm doing a really important job. They're not. And in fact, they're not doing much. We need to just worry about what we're doing and be like, you know, Jesus told Simon, you know, don't worry about what John's doing. You follow me. You take up your cross and follow me. And I'll worry about John. And so how does this carry over into marriage? Well, if you think about it, in marriage, there are different roles. I mean, there's a big difference between husband and wife in marriage. You know, the husband has the role of being the provider, paying the bills. The woman has the role of being the keeper at home and taking care of the house and cooking, cleaning, raising the children. And both of those roles are just as important. I mean, think about it. Without me doing my job in our marriage, we're not going to go very far when the money stops coming in if I'm not working and providing. I mean, that's going to be a big problem, isn't it, in our marriage. And what if my wife just stops doing her job? And all the bathrooms are filthy. And there's no food cooked. And the kids are running around naked and screaming. And, you know, the place is trashed. Look, her job is just as important as my job. You can't say, well, you have the really important job, Pastor Anderson. And her job, well, she's just doing nothing. No, her job is just as important as it's every bit as necessary as my job. Without both of us doing our job, the children are not going to be cared for and raised. We're not going to have a good marriage. The home is going to fall apart if either one of us isn't working hard. Now, I may be more in the limelight than my wife is. But she's just as important to the equation as I am, OK? But in order for my wife and I to get along, we have to realize that there's a difference between us. And if we don't realize that, we're not going to get along. Because if I start looking at her and saying, hey, you need to do what I do. I'm making all this money. You go make money. That's not right. Or what if she looks at me and says, well, you know, look at all this that I do. I'm cooking meals. Go put on an apron and you cook a meal. That's not right. She needs to understand, look, I have a job. You have a job. I have a role. You have a role. We're not going to be the same. Or I could look at her and become envious of her and say, wow, must be nice being at home all day. Must be nice getting all this time with the children. And why are you laughing about that? It must be nice. But you know what? There have been times. I remember when I was traveling a lot for business and just working really hard, traveling, and just sleep deprived. And she's going on field trips with the homeschool field trip. And I was like, man, that looks pretty cool. She went on this whale watching thing one time while I was at work all day. And I'm still bitter about it. No, I'm just kidding. But anyway, I've always wanted to go in a boat on the ocean. I've never done it. I've never seen a whale except the dumb killer whales. I want to see a real giant blue whale. But anyway, I'm just saying, I could sit there and look at her and say, well, you don't have the stress that I have, honey. Because I have to deal with all this banking and finances and figuring out how we're going to pay for 10 people. And you're on homeschool field trips. And I'm working my fingers to the bone. But then she could look at me and say, oh, it must be nice having a quiet minute to think. You actually drive down the road all day. And you can actually think a sane thought. I've got eight children screaming in my ear all day. And you know, yeah, you have a long drive. But you can stop and think. Oh, yeah, you're working hard sitting on an airplane, sitting in the car, going out to eat every meal. So it'd be easy for me to look at her life and think, oh, yeah, she's got it easy. Yeah, you must be nice having no responsibility. Your husband's the one who's got to make sure everything doesn't fall apart and pay all the bills. And then she's thinking, oh, man, it must be nice to be the boss and be able to do whatever you want. But you see, we could just go on and on, right? Where I'm looking at her saying, well, you don't understand how hard my job is. And she's saying, well, you don't understand what it's like being at home and blah. But in order to get along, number one, we just have to realize that we all have our life that we're living. We all have the role and the position that God has placed us in. And you know what? There are benefits to being the pastor. I like being the pastor. But you know, there are some negatives to being the pastor. And you might sit there and think, oh, man, I wish I were the pastor. I'd love to be the pastor. And look, if you desire the office of a bishop, the Bible says you desire a good work. That's actually a good desire to have. If you say, you know what? I want to be the pastor. Then you know what I would say to you? You know what? Then be the pastor then. You know, if you want a drink of the cup that I've drunk of and be baptized with the baptism wherewith I've been baptized, go start a church and see what it's like. And you know, and honestly, it is a blessing. And it is great. I like being the pastor. But you know what? It's hard too. And so it has a lot of positives, it has negatives. But that's life. And then being a church member has positives, has negatives. Being married, positives, negatives. Being single, you know, it's there. There are some positives. Lot of negatives. No, I'm just kidding. Well, you know, but some people are more cut out for being single than others, honestly. And some people are more cut out for marriage than others. But honestly, I'll say this though. You know what? You say, well, you know, you're married, and I'm single, and I wish I were married. But you know what? There are some things to being single that, you know, you have more just, I guess, just freedom. And you're not having to, you know, always have to work with somebody else. But I'm saying that it's easy to envy other people. And the best way to get along, because you know what envying is often associated with in the Bible? Strife. Where envying and strife is, there is confusion everywhere. Evil work. So when I start looking at my wife saying, you have it too easy, you must be nice, then we're going to have strife. And when she looks at me, oh, it must be nice being the man, being the boss, you know, then there's going to be strife. We need to just realize, you know what? I'm happy with where God put me. You know, if I'm single, I'm going to count my blessings in other areas. If I'm married, I'm going to count my blessings as a married person. If I'm rich, I'm counting my blessings. If I'm poor, I know both how to be abased, I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things, I'm instructed both to be full and to be hungry. Both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ, which strengthens me. Whatever our role is, whether we're the pastor, whether we're running a soul-winning time, whether we're the song leader, the piano player. You know, it's cool being the piano player, because it is a front and center thing where everybody sees what you're doing. But it's very stressful. It's hard. It's a lot of work. So you just have to understand that we're all different. Don't envy one another. And just understand, in a marriage, we have different roles. In a church, we have different roles. Let's just all live the life that God has given us and not envy one another. Understand that we have different roles, number one. Number two, how are we going to sit back in Romans 12? All this is found in Romans 12 tonight. So in verses four through eight, we learned that if we're going to have unity in the body, if there's not going to be a schism in the body, what does schism mean? Splitting apart. If there's not going to be a schism in the body, we need to realize, hey, we're all important. We all have a function. We all have a job. Don't worry so much that other people aren't just like you. It's OK that we're different. You know, I go soul-winning with people sometimes. They go soul-winning completely different than I do. And that's OK, because we don't need just an army of Steven Anderson's out soul-winning. Because some people, you're better at winning to the Lord than I would be. And some people, I would be better. And that's why God's going to use all of us. Now, we're all preaching the same gospel, of course. We're all telling people that they're sinners, that it's by faith alone, that they're saved, heaven and hell. We're all teaching eternal security to the believer. But how we get from point A to point B, we might be using different verses, different illustrations. God uses our personalities to reach different kinds of people. And that's important. And we don't want to all be the same. We don't want to all be clones. We don't want to all be robots. And by the way, guys, don't expect your wife to be like you. She's a woman. And women are just different than men. And so don't expect her to act like you, think like you, logic like you. Yeah, good luck, you know. I'm just saying, because we're different. So we're different in church, too. And by the way, come to church and learn to get along with people that are different. Don't be like these high school kids where it's just like, I'm just going to gravitate toward my crowd. I'm a skater. And all my friends are skaters. I'm a rapper. All my friends are rappers. I'm country western. All my friends are country. Remember how in school it would kind of break out by your music? In church, we need to get along with people that are different colors and different nationalities, different demographic, different financial standing. We're all one in Christ Jesus. And you need to learn to broaden who you can get along with and not just be just one who just gets along with people that are just like you. Learn to just get along with different kinds of people in the church. We're all different. But number two, beginning in verse number nine, the second point is that we need to have sincere love for one another. This is whether we're in church or in our marriage, or brothers and sisters. It says in verse nine, let love be without dissimulation. Now take off that prefix dis, and what are you left with? Simulation. And what is a simulator? Is it real? It's fake, right? So when it says let love be without dissimulation, he's saying have love that's real, that's not fake, that's not a facade, it's not simulated. Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil. Cleave to that which is good. Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love in honor preferring one another. So these two verses tell us that we need to have sincere, real, heartfelt love for one another in the church if we're going to have unity, if we're going to have peace in the local church. We need to actually love our brothers and sisters in Christ, and of course, we need to love our wife or love our husband. But not only just loving in our heart, that's important to have real love inside our heart, but it also says be kindly affectioned one to another. We need to show our love. It doesn't really do you any good to have love in your heart if it's never expressed. And the Bible says open rebuke is better than secret love. We need to express our love. And this is really important in marriage. You need to express your love to your spouse. You need to tell your spouse that you love them, not just say, well, I told her when I married her, and if I change my mind, I'll let her know. It stands that I love her. You should tell your wife, tell your husband that you love them often, praise them and tell them all the things you like about them, compliment them. I'm constantly complimenting my wife, and that's just part of having a good marriage. And not a fake compliment. Actually, and look, I'm sure there's something that you like about your spouse. I hope so. Otherwise, you're in trouble and this sermon can't help you. No, I'm just kidding. You're doomed. But I'm sure there's something. I'm not saying compliment her for things that she's bad at, or compliment your husband for things that he's bad at. I mean, compliment the things he's good at, because everybody has good qualities. So make your compliments real, and compliment the things that you actually like about your spouse, because when you're fake, people can see through you when you're fake. And people can tell when it's real. You know, if your husband's totally out of shape, don't tell him, man, you are just, you are so ripped. You are so buff. You look, you know. But you know what? Why don't you pray, maybe he's not in great shape, but maybe he's making great money. You know, praise him for being a great provider. Or, you know, he's really handsome. Or, you know, he's just really thoughtful. Or whatever it is that you do like about him, you know, find something to compliment. And find something to compliment about your wife. Why would you compliment? Just, it's just a way of expressing love. Just a way of showing that you love. You know, doing nice things for people. How do you show your love to people at church? Obviously, it's a different kind of love at church. The Bible talks here about brotherly love. And showing your love could just be as simple as smiling and greeting them, maybe giving them a card or giving them a gift. Just, you know, being thoughtful, being friendly. Just show your love. Just make it so that the people around you know that you love them. And just let them know that you care about them. And that you, you know, show some affection for the people of the church. It's important that you let people know how you feel about them. And it says, in honor, preferring one another. What does it mean to prefer one another? You know, put other people before yourself is what that means, to prefer them. Put them above your own personal needs. And put others first. Number three is, if we're going to have unity and peace and get along and have success in our church or in our marriage, number three, you got to do your job. Do your job. So number one, realize we all have different roles. Number two, have love for one another and actually show that love. Be loving. Be affectionate with one another. But number three, you got to do your job. Look at verse 11. Not slothful in business. So right there, showing, you know, don't be lazy. Do your job. Get it done. Not slothful in business, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord. Those are all three words, or all three of those phrases have to do with getting our work done. You know, being not slothful, meaning lazy in business. But then it says fervent in spirit. Fervent comes from the word fire, OK? So fervent in spirit means that basically we're fired up. That's the opposite of being lazy. Now whether this is in the home or in the church, if I get up behind the pulpit and I'm lazy and I'm not preaching my best and I'm just kind of slothful up here, the opposite of that would be being on fire, you know, preaching hard, and being fervent, and taking it seriously, and it's important. But honestly, everyone's job. You know, if you're greeting people and handing out the bulletins and being friendly to people at the door, be fervent. You know, take it seriously. Think it's important. And if you're going to lead the singing, you better get up here and sing your heart out. And not just be, you know, praise the Lord, praise the Lord. You know, get up here and sing your heart out and do the hand motions. And whether you're playing the piano, playing the organ, take it seriously. You know, if you're cleaning, do a good job. Give it your best. Don't be slothful. Be fervent and do it unto the Lord. Serve the Lord. So those are three great phrases in verse 11 on just doing your job. As a husband, that means when you go to work to provide, you're fervent. You're not slothful at your job and failing at your job, but you're doing your best at your job so that you can bring home the paycheck to your wife and kids and support them. You know, that's what it's all about. That's why we go to work every day, guys, is to support our family. And that's what we have to keep in perspective. You know, I'm working hard so that I can bring home the bacon, all right, literally and figuratively. And then it says in verse 12, rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing instant in prayer, distributing to the necessity of saints, given to hospitality. Bless them with persecute you. Bless and curse not. So we've got to do our job. And I've got to do my job as a husband. And I need to give it my best. My wife should do her job as a wife and give it her best, not just another frozen dinner in the microwave. Here we go again. No, actually doing her best at the job. If her job is cooking and cleaning, to do her best at it. You know, if her job is homeschooling the children, to give it her best and to do a good job. Obviously, taking care of her husband. And the husband does his best to make sure that his wife feels loved and is provided for and taken care of and everything like that. So we need to do our job. In the church, do it with fervency and be fired up about it and not lazy about our job. Number four, we need to have empathy for one another. Look at verse 15. Rejoice with them that do rejoice and weep with them that weep. Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high of things, but condescend to men of lowest state. Be not wise in your own conceits. Now keep your finger in Romans 12. Flip over to 1 Corinthians 12. This is that parallel passage that we were in just a little while ago. But this is one of my favorite verses when it says, rejoice with them that do rejoice and weep with them that weep. That's an important principle if you want to have peace and unity and get along well and have good relationships with people at church or with people in your home, whether it's your siblings or whether you're married. When your wife or your husband is suffering, that shouldn't make you happy. You shouldn't rejoice about that. And the Bible talks about how irritating it is to sing songs unto those that be of a heavy heart. Somebody is down and depressed and upset. And you're just, hey, how's it going? What's that? You're all jovial. That's not nice. When other people are sad and suffering and in pain, you should strive to feel their pain. And you should weep with those that weep. And try to put yourself in their position. That's what empathy is, is when you can feel what they're feeling and you can weep with them. And also, likewise, when your friends at church or when your spouse has a great success and is happy about something, you need to rejoice with them. So if your husband comes home, oh, man, I had a great day at work. I got a promotion and I got the raise and everything. Oh, great. I had a terrible day. That's not nice. You should be like, oh, great, let's celebrate. That's exciting. That's great. And you might sometimes be going through a hard time in your life. But when someone else has great rejoicing and when someone else has something good happen, you should be happy for them and get on board with them. Contrary wise, you might be really happy. And then somebody gets hit with some bad news. You know what, you need to land the plane a little bit and say, hey, you know what? I'm really sorry that that happened. Let's pray together and weep with them and care about their suffering. And that's called having empathy. Now, some people are better at this than others. Some people are naturally more empathetic than others. Other people just don't really care. But this is something that we need to work on because God commands us to rejoice with those that rejoice and weep with those who weep. And honestly, you'll get along with your spouse better if you learn to kind of mirror what they are going through. You know, your spouse is having a bad day. You need to comfort them and not just be all jovial. Oh, what's the matter? Everything's great. And if you have a great success, you would want your spouse to rejoice with you. But look what it says in 1 Corinthians 12 about the church in verse 26. It says, whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it. Or one member be honored, all the members rejoice with it. Isn't that what a church is supposed to be? One person suffers, we all suffer. One person is rejoicing, we all rejoice. And that's how it should be in our marriage where we're on the same page. We rejoice together. We weep together. We care about other people's feelings, not just our own feelings. The Bible says, look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. And we care about how other people are feeling, not just, well, things are going good for me, then I'm going to be rejoicing. I don't care if other people are suffering. Or if I'm suffering, I don't care. Wipe that smile off your face. I'm suffering. Can't you see I'm suffering? We need to be more concerned about empathizing with others. And you know what? As a pastor, this is important. And those of you guys who want to pastor some day, let me tell you something. There are times when I'm in a bad mood and I show up for church. And I never show up for church outwardly in a bad mood. I mean, when was the last time you saw me walk in here Sunday morning, Sunday night, or Wednesday night? You know, how you doing pastor? It's lousy. You know, I'm not getting along with my wife. My finances are in the toilet. You know, that's not what I do. I walk in here when things are going bad and I have a big smile and I'm friendly and I shake your hand and I put on the new man. And I'm joyful. But you know what, honestly? Usually by the end of the service, it's real. Seriously, because sometimes you'll be in a bad mood and you come to church and church puts me in a good mood. I like church. You know, usually I'm genuinely in a good mood when I show up. But do you think that I'm never in a bad mood? Usually I'm genuinely in a good mood, but sometimes there are times when I'm in a bad mood but I have to show up and be friendly and rejoice. Why? Because I don't want to drag you down. I'm here to try to edify you. So when you show up for church, you know, you might need encouragement. You need me to show up and be there to be friendly, to rejoice with you, to try to get you. And in the process, I usually get myself in a great mood just by getting you in a good mood. So that's what we need to try to do is to be able to sometimes put aside things in our life that are causing us to rejoice too much or weep too much for the people around us and try to be what we need to be for other people, try to help get along with them. And this goes for marriage or for church. Empathy is what I'm talking about. Empathy, where we rejoice with those that rejoice and where we weep with those who weep, and not just caught up in all our emotions and everything that's going on with us. Because other people have needs too, and we need to look on other people's needs, not on our own needs. Back to Romans 12, the next verse. We just covered verses 15 and 16. Look at verse 17. It says, recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Number five is this. Make the effort to get along. Make an effort to get along. Go into the church and go into marriage with an attitude of, you know what, I'm going to try to get along. I'm not just going to see how things go. I'm going to make a concerted effort to, as much as is possible, as much as lieth in me, I'm going to make the effort to live peaceably with all men. I'm not going to recompense evil for evil. I'm going to go into this thing understanding that if someone at church says something rude to me, I'm just going to shake it off. I'm not going to reply. And you know, this isn't a TV sitcom where there's a live studio audience that's going to laugh when you have that perfect comeback, that perfect one-liner. You know, when somebody insults you, oh yeah, yo mama. And you just come back at them with some one-liner. You know, when somebody says something rude to you, you need to just not retaliate and try to just live peaceably with all men and not render evil for evil. Make the effort to get along. Do you really try to get along with your wife? Do you really try to get along with your husband? Or do you just think, well, it's her job to get along with me, or it's his job to get along with me. You know, it's good to try to just live peaceably and get along. And obviously, in the marriage, there's a clear authority structure where the husband's in charge and the wife is in subjection. But I think that when both people strive to get along and have peace, because obviously, you can be a complete boss and be ruling without being unkind, without being angry, hateful, rude, right? You can be kind, and you don't have to be evil, OK? So what the Bible is teaching us here, to be peaceful, to get along, to make the effort to not return evil for evil, whether that's at church or in marriage. Now listen, there are people at church who are going to say rude things to you. There are even people in our church who say rude things. It's true. I hear people say rude things. People have said rude things to me. And I mean, I have all these examples in my mind that I'd love to just start rattling off right now. I mean, there are so many examples of just rude things. But honestly, usually, I don't think that anybody means anything by it. I'm trying to think, OK, who's not here? Use the example they want to know what I'm talking about. I mean, literally, I talked to somebody one time, and I said something. They said, oh, where's your family? Where's your wife and kid? I said, oh, they're at home. Oh, they're just sitting at home? I think to myself, my wife doesn't sit at home. My wife is working hard. She's cooking. She's cleaning. She's taking care of eight kids. She's putting out all these fires. But see, here's the thing. Wouldn't it be stupid for me to just get all upset about that and get mad and get rude? It's obviously just somebody who just doesn't know what it's like to be a housewife or a homemaker that has eight kids. But that's OK. That person who said that to me wasn't trying to put in a dig or burn me. Now, usually, men can easily let stuff like that just roll off you like water off a duck's back. I mean, when this person said that to me, I just thought it was funny. I just thought, that's hilarious that people just don't understand what life is like for other people. Seriously, sometimes people can just hear something like that, oh, I can't believe that you said that to me. And you know what, I'm not trying to be down on women or anything, because obviously, men and women have different weaknesses and strengths. There are a lot of weaknesses that men have. But let me tell you something. Women often will get bitter about stuff and not let it go more than men, because men are better at taking insults. See, men, we get together with other men. We're like, you idiot, you moron. We were talking about today, because after the sermon this morning, we were talking about how when we were kids in school on the playground, all the names we would call each other. That's just how men are. And we don't mean anything by it, but women aren't like that. Women don't get together, hey, idiot, it's just not how they are. So when somebody says something to them that's rude or that's insulting, they tend to err, err, and get bitter about it. Now look, if somebody says something rude to you, you need to just forget it. Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. And the Bible says, let not the sun go down on your wrath. So if you're still mad about it tomorrow, you're in sin. Something might make you a little mad. If somebody says something to you and your reaction is to get mad, hey, that's just human. That's just human. So what you have to do is control anger. That's called temperance, not having a bad temper. You control anger, and you basically then forgive and forget, and tomorrow you're not mad about it. And listen to me, if you're mad about it tomorrow, you're in sin. And by the way, this goes in marriage too, because the Bible says husbands love your wives and be not bitter against them. So God commands husbands not to be bitter against their wives. And God calls husbands to forgive their wives. And God calls all of us as Christians to forgive one another, forbear one another, OK? Pardon one another. These are the things that we need to do to get along in church or in our marriage. So when people say rude, and I didn't say if people say rude things to you, when people say rude things to you, you need to let it go. People will insult your clothing. People are going to insult your vehicle. They're going to insult your lifestyle. They're going to insult your job. I mean, people are going to say things, and they don't usually, honestly, I don't think they mean anything by it. I've often, you know, I've sometimes my wife has said, you know, can you believe what so-and-so said to me? And I'd say that, you know, that person is young and inexperienced and that person didn't mean that. That's not what they're saying. Because honestly, a lot of things are just said by people that just don't mean anything. And you know what, OK, look, I've said some insensitive things in my life. Believe it? I've said insensitive things to people. I've said things that were very downright rude to people, and I'm not proud of that. I'm just saying that it's just life. I said something rude to the free sample lady at Trader Joe's. And my wife was like, what are you doing? She's like, I have to show my face at this store again. I was just kidding, but she didn't think it was funny. It was just a joke. She had it as a sample. It's like, oh, you know, I'm trying. And I started eating. I was like, oh, this is really good. She's like, yeah, we just heated up in the microwave. And I went, microwave? You know, I was just kidding. My wife's like, you don't joke with women about the food that they make. That's not funny. I was like, oh, I don't eat out of the microwave. It was a joke. That woman is still bitter about it. Every time I go back, no, I'm just kidding. But honestly, you know, people are going to say things to you. They're going to, you know, let me just think. You know, they're going to tell you you're pregnant and you're really not. Like, so when's the baby due? Oh, I'm not pregnant. You know? I mean, that's pretty bad. That's a pretty bad. You know, oh, OK, is this your son? No, it's my husband. You know, these are the type of things that, you know, or you say like, oh, you two are sisters, right? No, this is my daughter. And then, you know, the mother loves it. The daughter's like, oh, you know, what are you doing? I think I'm that old. But things like that are going to happen. People are going to say stuff like that that's just going to insult you. And it's just rude. But honestly, you have to make the effort to get along. And you have to just not render evil for evil. And you have to just forgive and forget. Look, I've said plenty of insensitive, rude things to my wife over the years. And she said plenty of insensitive, rude things to me. And we just have to learn to just not return fire, to forgive and forget, to let things go. And in a church, especially amongst ladies, people are going to not say the right thing about your hairstyle, your clothes, your body type, your marriage, your children. The list is endless, OK? And you're cooking, your food. You know, somebody eats your chili at the chili cook-off and made a face about it. And I saw that face that they made, or whatever. You need to just learn to just make the effort to get along. Number five was make the effort to get along. You know, have a goal of saying, you know what? I'm going to get along with people. And I'm not going to let people who are rude and insensitive and thoughtless, I'm not going to let them cause strife. You know, I'm going to get along with that person. And you know, there are some people that are hard to get along with. But there's always somebody who can get along with them. There's always somebody who is smart enough to get along with them and to just kind of just understand. I mean, I've been around people who just constantly say rude things. And you just learn that's how that person is. You just think to yourself, that's how that person is. And you just go into it expecting it. This person's going to say rude things to me. And I'm not going to care. Because they don't mean anything by it. And it's not a big deal. I'm just going to let it go. I know that my chili tastes good. I know that my hair looks good. You know, it's for the ladies. I know that my outfit looks good. It's not from last fall. I'm not wearing white after Labor Day or whatever. I don't care what everybody thinks about my appearance or if I still look a little pregnant or whatever. It's like, who cares? Get over it. So we need to make the effort to get along. And then number six, look at verse 19. And I just like how everything's just laid out in this chapter. It's a great chapter on getting along. And it's just amazing how it all goes for church, but then it all goes for your marriage too. But look at verse 19. It says, dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath. So number six is this. Don't lose your temper. And we just kind of talked about that with making the effort to get along. A big part of making the effort to get along is not losing your temper, controlling anger. He says, dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath. What does it mean to give place unto wrath? Understand that wrath has its place. There's going to be a time when you get angry legitimately, but you need to put off anger. Put off wrath. Let not the sun go down on your wrath. And you don't blow up and lose your temper. We need to be slow to anger, slow to speak, slow to wrath. The wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. We need to control anger in our lives and not blow up and lose our temper. And this is a big part of getting along in marriage is not losing your temper. And we've all lost our temper in marriage, unless you're just some perfect person, whatever. You make me sick. No, I'm just kidding. But anyway, we've all gotten angry. Nobody is perfect. And maybe you are that one person who never gets in an argument, never gets in a fight. But honestly, most people, one time or another, lose their temper and get angry. But it's something that we all need to work on. And I think it's one of the best things you can do to improve your marriage is to not lose your temper. Now, this isn't all men either. Women lose their temper too. It's both husband and wife that can lose their temper. And we need to all not have a short fuse and just be ready to blow up. And sometimes a sentence will come out of somebody's mouth. It's not even out of their mouth. And you don't even know that the end of the sentence is going to fix everything about the first half of that sentence. And you're already blowing up. You need to slow down and listen to what people are saying and not have a short fuse and just blow your top at the drop of a hat. Look, is anger always sinful? No. There are times when anger is legitimate. Jesus got angry. That proves that it's not a sin. But let me say this, though. Most of our anger is illegitimate. And most of the time when we get anger, it's just us blowing our top and having a bad temper. Yes, there are times to legitimately be angry. But we need to be slow to anger and not just be on a short fuse ready to blow up, ready to lose our temper. It's just an exercise in self-control. And a big part of it is being prepared. Big part of it. People ask all the time, why do you think it's so important to not be fooled by the pre-tribulation rapture? You know, why even preach that? And some of the pre-tribbers, they'll kind of come at you with, well, what are you doing to prepare for the tribulation, then, if this is so important? Are you stockpiling food? Are you stockpiling water? Are you stockpiling ammunition? But honestly, they're missing the point when they ask those kind of questions. Because what they're missing the point is that, first of all, the reason it's important to stand on it is because it's the truth. And the other is a lie. That's enough of a reason right there to care about it, just so that we can read the Bible and understand it. God wants us to understand the book of Revelation or it wouldn't be in the Bible. And if you're a pre-tribber, you don't understand the book of Revelation. You know, it doesn't make any sense if you're pre-trib. You have to understand that the rapture is not coming before the tribulation, that it comes after, in order to have a grasp of the book of Revelation. And I've talked to many people who said, well, before I understood that doctrine, I didn't like reading Revelation. Now I enjoy it because it makes sense to me. Okay, that's enough of a reason right there. But what you don't understand is that just knowing that the tribulation is coming is a huge benefit, even if you don't have any water or food or ammo stockpiled. Just look, and this is the illustration I've used before. If I knew that there was a guy right outside that door waiting to jump me the moment I walk out that door, and as soon as I walk out that door, he's going to jump on me and attack me and start punching me and assaulting me, wouldn't I like to know that before I walk out that door? And even if I didn't have time to prepare a weapon, even if I didn't have a lead pipe or a gun or a knife or a chainsaw or anything, you know, even if I don't have a weapon to use, you'd still want to just know. And just being ready for it mentally is going to be a huge advantage. And the Bible talks about people being offended when these things happen and they're not warned about the tribulation that's coming, and then they're offended. Because it catches them unawares. And it's just better to just be prepared and to know it's coming. And people don't understand the value of this. But honestly, sometimes in your marriage you have to do this where you just realize, you know, my wife is a certain way. And this is what she's going to do, this is what she's going to say, and I'm not going to blow my top when she says it or does it. And it's easier when you just think about it and know it's coming. Or you know what, I'm going to go to church and there's that rude person at church that always says insensitive, rude things to me, and that's what she's going to say or that's what he's going to say. And you know what, I'm not going to blow up. I'm not going to get mad. I'm just going to smile and walk away. And honestly, I've noticed in my own life that I've had a much easier time controlling my temper when I think it through first and say, you know what, I'm not going to lose my temper. If this happens, I'm not going to. It's when you get caught off guard, you're just going along and then, you know, your husband says something and you're like, what? You know, you just blow up because it's like, you're not ready. I'm always telling my wife, you know, just think about it, honey. The kids are going to do stupid things. Just be mentally prepared for it to happen and then you won't blow up because you just, just go into it knowing they will destroy. They will, you know, they will wreak havoc. There will be chaos, you know. It just helps to know. Now look, my view on prepping, I don't think that it's wrong to prep. I don't think it's wrong to have extra food, extra water, medical supplies. I don't think that that's sinful or a lack of faith. I do think though that some people get too wrapped up in that where you cross the line of, you know, laying up treasures on earth and trying to worry too much on physical security rather than having your security in the Lord. So I have mixed feelings about it because on one hand, there are verses in the Bible about foreseeing the evil, preparing yourself, but then there are a lot of other verses that talk about don't take any thought for tomorrow. Don't worry and I think what the big thing is that God's saying fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer. Don't worry about it. By taking thought, you can't make one hair of your head white or black. You can't add a cubit to your stature. There are things that are out of your control. Seek first the kingdom of God. All these things will be added unto you. So honestly, I'm gonna spend my time preparing myself spiritually more than anything else. I'm just glad I know it's coming. I'm just glad I know that the tribulation's coming because then I can be prepared when it comes and I know what's gonna hit me. And you know what, I do think it's smart to have a basic food supply and just a basic, but you know what, I'm not a hardcore prepper by any stretch of the imagination. I take a balanced approach because honestly, I see both sides in scripture. And you know, it's up to you personally. You might say, you know what, I'm not prepping at all. You know, I'm just trusting the Lord. Well, you know, that's your opinion. Other people might say, you know, I'm gonna have some supplies for the Ebola outbreak or for the whatever kind of catastrophe takes place. Okay, there's both sides to that. But honestly, just the big thing that I emphasize with the tribulation is just knowing that it's coming and just be spiritually prepared. And that's gonna help you. And it'll also, and the reason I bring that up is just because when it comes to not losing your temper, just being prepared for people that you know say things you don't like and do things, or maybe at work. You go to work and there's that guy at work that gets you under your skin and you blow up. Just think about it in advance. You know, I know that guy, he's a jerk, he's a pain in the neck. I'm not gonna blow up, I'm gonna stay cool. I'm telling you, that has been revolutionary in my own life when I just mentally prepare to not lose my temper with people that I know are the type of people. You know, certain people, you just know you're gonna get around them and you just get your reaction figured out, not just in the moment. Okay, and I hope that makes sense. I hope that helps you, but it says in verse 19, you know, give place unto wrath. For it is written, vengeance is mine. I will repay, sayeth the Lord. Therefore, if thine enemy hunger, feed him. If he thirst, give him drink. For in so doing, thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. So when it comes to getting along with people in this chapter, starting in verse four, let me just give you a quick review. Verses four through eight taught us to realize that different people have different roles. Don't expect everybody to be just like you. We're all different. God made us different. God wants us to be different. We don't have to all be the same. We don't have to all have the exact same opinions or the same exact life that we live or the same exact job in the church. We all do things differently. We have different roles. Let me stop and say this though. Soul winning is not a gift. It's a command. A lot of people say, well, soul winning is not my gift. It's not on the list of gifts. Is it? No. It's not on the list because it's for everybody. And God can use every man, woman, boy, and girl to give the gospel unto someone. It's not just for a select few. All of us are commanded to go out and preach the gospel to every creature. And it's all men, women, young, old. And I've done whole sermons on that. I'm not going to prove that tonight. But you know that's true if you've heard the preaching and read the word. It's the truth. Soul winning is not a gift. It's a commandment. Well, it's not my gift. You know what? God will use the stammering tongue. God will use the shy person. God will use the foolish person to confound the wise. And God wants to use all of us to be a soul winner. But there are other tasks in the church. I like what Brother Jimenez preached on our church camping trip. He said the church is like a fire department where everybody puts out fires, but then everybody has another job that they do. One guy sweeps the floor, another guy washes the truck, another guy cooks dinner, another guy's making the beds. But all of them put out fires. And that's the way the church is. We all win souls to Jesus. We all preach the gospel to every creature. That's all of our job as spiritual firefighters. But then we all have other jobs that we do, whether it's preaching the sermon, playing the piano, clean the building, play the organ, run a soul winning time, read the scripture, whatever, greeting people, being friendly, praying for people, reaching out to people. Those things are all important. But we should not ever, I mean, think about what about a firefighter who never fights fires? That's not going to work, is it? No, no, no, you guys go ahead. I'm going to stay behind and just make sure everything's tidy and clean. No, but what about a firefighter who says, well, I just put out fires. And then he won't lift a finger at the firehouse. That's not going to work either. We need to do both. So number one, we need to realize that people have different roles in our marriage. We realize we have different roles, husband and wife. Number two, verses 9 through 10 taught us that we need to have sincere love one for another. Verses 11 through 14, number three, we saw that we need to all do our job. Do our job, work, stay busy, don't be lazy. Number four, we saw that we need to have empathy one for another. That was in verses 15 and 16. Number five, we said, make the effort to get along. That was in verses 17 through 18. And then number six, don't lose your temper. That was in verses 19 through 21. And then you say, well, you said you had seven things. Well, one of them is not in this chapter. Six out of seven is pretty good to get out of one chapter. But there's one more thing that's not in this chapter. And if you want to get along with people, you want to have peace and unity, and you want to be of one accord, and you want to have a good marriage and get along well with people at church, don't be easily offended. The Bible says, great peace have they which love thy law, and nothing shall offend them. There's your scripture on it, Psalm 119. So find it yourself. There's 176 verses. You'll find it. It's in Psalm 119 somewhere. But great peace have they which love thy law, and nothing shall offend them. You're never going to get along with people if you wear your feelings on your sleeve. You need to not be easily offended. A big part of this is not looking at everything through a negative lens. Now, a lot of people, whenever anybody says something to them that could kind of go either way, they interpret it negative. When in reality, we should give people the benefit of the doubt and not be easily offended and interpret it positive. Let me give you some examples of this. What if I said to my wife, honey, man, the spaghetti really came out really good tonight. What do you mean tonight? What was wrong with it last time? So here I am giving her a compliment. Or like, oh, wow, you look amazing today. What is? I looked like garbage yesterday? So instead of just interpreting it, it's a compliment. He's telling me I look good. He's telling me that the food was good, just interpreting it through a negative lens. So what you're saying is that in the past, or you know what? You've really, over the years of our marriage, you've really become an amazing cook. You've really gotten a lot better at cooking. What was wrong with my cooking when we got married then? See what I mean? How you just interpret compliments, negative. Or the same thing if the wife says something to the husband and says, man, you've really gotten a lot better about providing. You're really doing a great job. Now, my wife would probably say these are all insults. Honey, you think that's an insult? Yeah, but see, I hear that. If my wife said that to me, I wouldn't be insulted. I'd be like, oh, great, she sees the growth. See, I look at that as progress. Yeah, you know, oh, your cooking's getting better. I'm a better provider. You know, man, you're better looking than when I married you. I take that as a compliment, not like, well, was I ugly or something? Was there something wrong with me? It's how you look at it. And you just need to look at things in a positive light. And when people say things to you, look at it through a positive lens, not through a negative lens. That's called giving people the benefit of the doubt and understanding that they mean it as a compliment, not as an insult. Don't wear your feelings on your sleeve and just be easily offended. And you're just ready to just jump down people's throats and get all upset. Just take things for what they are and always give people the benefit of the doubt. So those are seven things to help you get along at church and get along in your marriage or get along with your siblings or get along at work. A lot of these same things could carry over. Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer. Father, we thank you so much, Lord, for your word. And we thank you for these principles, Lord. Help us all to put these into action. And I pray that every single person, maybe all seven points weren't really something that they needed, Lord. But I pray that every single person would take a couple of these points and decide to work on them. And maybe say, I'm going to try not to lose my temper. I need to work on anger, not being an angry person. And I need to work on not being so easily offended. And I'm going to be prepared for insults. And I'm not going to render evil for evil. I'm going to make the effort to get along. Or maybe I'm going to be more fervent about doing my work at home or doing my work at the job. Or maybe I'm just going to stop envying other people. Whatever the points are, I just pray that they would sink in and that we would all make the effort to get along and have peace and harmony and unity in our churches and in our homes so that we're fighting the battle with the enemy instead of just fighting with each other about petty, unimportant things. And we ask these things in your name, in Jesus' name, amen.