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with the fullness and the power of the Holy Ghost as he preaches your word and help us our children improve in our service unto thee thus. In Jesus' name we pray, amen. Amen. The title of my sermon tonight is Don't Be a Jerk. And I'm preaching about being kind to one another, being nice, and this passage at the beginning of Romans chapter 15 is a great passage to teach this because it talks about receiving one another the way that Christ has received us. Now let's start out in verse number one here of chapter 15, it says, we then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak and not to please ourselves. Let every one of us please his neighbor for his good to edification. So the Bible is teaching you that if one person is stronger than another, and this isn't just talking about physical strength obviously, the primary context would probably be talking about having spiritual strength, being a mature Christian, you're more advanced in your growth as a Christian, and that we ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, meaning maybe newer believers, babes in Christ, people that are not very mature spiritually. We that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak and not to please ourselves. Let every one of us please his neighbor for his good to edification. Now what does the word edification mean? It means building up, right? We think about an edifice, it's a building. And so what the Bible is saying is that we should try to build other people up and lift other people up, not be tearing people down, dragging people down. And this is what insecure people often do. They want to just tear down everyone around them to try to make themselves feel better. So they're always insulting people or talking bad about people, criticizing people to hide their own weaknesses and their own insecurities. But we that actually are strong, we should not go around bragging about our strength or we should not go around just pleasing ourselves and just thinking about how much better we are than other people. We should be trying to constantly lift other people up to our level. If we truly are at a higher level, we should be all about lifting up other people, helping other people, encouraging other people to get to the point that we've reached, not trying to make people feel bad or just, hey, look at me, I'm better. And trying to just emphasize other people's weakness. We should try to edify them, build them up, make them stronger, help them grow. Let's please everyone his neighbor for his good instead of going around just trying to please ourselves. Let's try to think about other people's feelings and how we can help them. The Bible says in verse number three, for even Christ pleased not himself, but as it is written, the reproaches of them that reproach thee fell on me for whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope. Now pay close attention to these next few verses because I want to show you how this grammatically kind of fits together so we can get a full understanding here. Whatever things were written aforetime were written for our learning. Why? So that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope. So what does the Bible do for us? What do the scriptures do for us? They give us patience and comfort, right? They strengthen us, they comfort us, they actually give us the ability to go through hard times, right, patience, you know, that we can stay the course and hang in there and be diligent and not give up, not faint, but that we be strengthened because comfort has the idea of also, you know, strengthening us and encouraging us and so forth. That's what the scriptures do for us, right? We get comfort and patience from the scriptures and that gives us hope, okay? So everybody understand that? Now with that in mind, move to verse five. Now the God of patience and consolation, so the God who did this for us, the God who gave us these scriptures, he's the God of patience and consolation, so he gave us scripture that gives us patience and comfort. Grant you, may that same God who gave us those scriptures, grant you to be like-minded one toward another according to Christ Jesus, that ye may with one mind and one mouth glorify God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. So what the Bible is saying is that we are to be like-minded one toward another. Basically what it's saying is that just as the scriptures give us patience and consolation and hope as we read about Christ, not pleasing himself, but pleasing other people, you know, we are supposed to have that same mind in us. We're supposed to be like-minded one toward another, meaning that we are supposed to be like Christ, right, where we don't please ourselves but that we please one another, that we please other people for their edification and that we, just as the scriptures do for us, that we dole out patience and comfort and hope and that we actually are an encouragement to the people around us, not a discouragement, okay? And remember, the Bible says in Philippians chapter 2, let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God, but made himself of no reputation, right, and took upon him the form of a servant and was made in the likeness of man, and being found and fashioned as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. We as Christians, we need to be humble and not be so worried about our reputation, hey, look at me, look how great I am, look how cool I am, but be more concerned with lifting other people up just as Jesus Christ came not to be ministered unto but to minister and to give his life a ransom for many. We should be going around trying to encourage people, help people, lift them up, not walk into a group of people as just I'm the man, I'm the greatest, I'm the coolest, let me be the center of attention, let's make sure that everybody knows how much better I am than everyone else. And you know, I think this kind of sermon is especially good for teenagers to hear and children because young adults, teenagers, children, they're susceptible to this desire to always be seen as cool. And often part of being cool has to do with putting down other people that aren't cool. And this is the way people are in junior high, high school, and if you've been through that school system, you know that this is a big thing, there's kind of the in crowd and the cool group and then there's the nerd herd, that's what it's literally called at my school. If you're in the cool group you're kind of putting down people in the nerd herd and it's this attitude of I'm cool, I'm bad, and frankly it really has no place in the life of a Christian and it's immature anyway. As you become an adult hopefully you get past that mentality of constantly trying to impress other people and maybe putting down others to impress other people with how cool you are, how snarky you can be, how sarcastic and how rude you can be to people that you see as inferior. Now look, obviously I do not believe that all people in this world are equal because obviously they're all different disparities amongst people, some people are smarter than other people. I mean this should be common sense but a lot of people don't acknowledge this sometimes. Some people are smarter than others, some people are better looking than others, some people are physically stronger than others, right? Some people are better at this or better at that, some people have different skills that other people don't have. Obviously we're not equal and you know what, when it comes to spiritually, some people are better Christians than others. I mean that's just a fact and you say well I thought all men are created equal. First of all it's not a Bible verse, number one. But number two, what that is saying in the Declaration of Independence, which is not the Bible, when it says all men are created equal, the idea there is that they have equal standing before the law because you have to understand that they're dealing with a European mentality where you have nobility and then you have commoners. And so somebody's literally just born into a family that makes them better because of the family that they're born into. So when they say we hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal, he's saying you know there's no nobility, there's no two class or four class or you know like the Hindus with the four castes or something, he's saying look all men are created equal, they're all born into the same caste or the same class and they're endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights, life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness. Hey, everybody deserves to be alive at birth, right? Somebody's born, they deserve to live, to have liberty, to have freedom and the pursuit of happiness, right? That's and again this isn't the Bible, this is what the Declaration of Independence is saying. It's not saying hey every person is as good as the other, every person is as smart as the other, every person, that's just dumb. That just doesn't make any sense because we can look around and obviously see that everyone has different strengths and different weaknesses and people are better than others in various ways, right? And one person might be the better athlete, another person might be a better student, another person might be a better earner, I mean we could go down the list, okay? But what we need to understand is that if you think well I'm better than so and so, well then you know we then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak and not to please ourselves. Don't glory that you're supposedly better, don't lord that over them. No, why don't you lift that person up, why don't you help that person, encourage that person, comfort that person, strengthen that person instead of just pleasing yourself and being pleased with yourself that you're better than other people, okay? And by the way the Bible also says that we ought to esteem others better than ourselves anyway. So we really shouldn't go around with this attitude saying I'm better. But in areas where you're just kind of objectively better, well then that's where Romans 15 kicks in and we that are strong, because by Paul saying we that are strong, he's saying yeah I'm a strong Christian, but we that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak not just act like they're idiots and you know nuts to them, we're better, that's not what we're called to do as Christians. We're supposed to be all about ministering to other people, helping other people. We're not going through life for ourselves, we're going through our life to serve Christ and to serve other people. That's why we're here on this planet, otherwise we might as well just go to heaven and bask in our awesomeness for all eternity. No we're down here to do stuff for other people. We're down here to win lost people to Christ, that's doing something for other people. We're down here to strengthen our brothers and sisters in Christ and teach them the word of God, help them out, minister to them, encourage them, be a good influence on them. And so as a young person don't get caught up in this idea of being the best and the coolest and look at me, instead think about how you can lift up and elevate the people around you and be a blessing to them and help them and minister to them and not to just please yourself. And you know people today are more depressed it seems like than they've ever been in the history of our country. There's just all time highs of depression especially amongst young people and part of that is the attitude of living for self because living for yourself ends up making you miserable. It's unfulfilling and when you start actually living for other people you get more joy and fulfillment helping other people. Sometimes it can be more gratifying to help someone else reach their goals than for you to even reach your own goals. And so we need to learn to live for other people, edify other people because that's why we're here on this earth is to serve others not to serve ourselves. I mean if Christ the son of God, the creator of the universe, if he was about lifting other people up then obviously we're not Christ and if anybody had the right to just live for themselves and to just glorify themselves Christ would have had that right but even he made himself of no reputation even though he in the form of God thought it not robbery to be equal with God he still made himself of no reputation. So I think you and I can make ourselves of no reputation. We're actually giving up a lot less than he gave up in order to serve us. So look at verse seven this is kind of the key verse it says, Wherefore receive ye one another as Christ also received us to the glory of God. Now how did Christ receive us? He received us just as we are. We didn't have to reform ourselves in order to be saved. We didn't have to go through and clean up all the sin in our life and make all these changes so we could somehow be worthy of salvation. And that's one of my favorite songs in the hymnal, Just as I am, without one plea but that thy blood was shed for me and that thou bittest me come to thee O Lamb of God I come and it's just it's just as I am you know I'm not bringing anything it's it's just that you died for me and I'm saved because Christ died on the cross and was buried and rose again and he receives us just as we are. When we go out soloing we don't tell people the changes that they need to make in their life before they can be saved because that would be heresy that would be a false gospel. We tell people that they can be saved just as they are right now by believing on the Lord Jesus Christ and so the Bible says receive ye one another as Christ also received us to the glory of God and so what the Bible is saying is receive other people in spite of their flaws in spite of their faults in spite of their weaknesses receive other people be patient with other people and don't make a test of who you're going to minister to or be a blessing to or be friends with you know based upon how cool they are how strong they are how good they are at this or good they are at that you know we had to receive the weak into our circle so that we can help them so we can edify them and be kind to them not to just be a jerk to other people but actually to be kind and loving to other people we need to practice kindness now go if you would to Acts chapter 28 this is just a nice little mention of the word kindness that can maybe illustrate a little bit of kindness in action here in Acts chapter 28 but again teenagers need to get off this attitude of oh this person is cool and that person's not cool so I can't hang out with that person because they're not cool and I remember when I was growing up and I was a teenager there was this attitude well if you start hanging around with people from the nerd herd that somehow like you lose some of your coolness creds right by reaching out to other people by being kind to someone that's maybe an outsider by being kind to someone who's not in that clique somehow you've lost a little bit of your coolness like like oh man maybe you're part of the nerd herd and so I was like oh no not me so then it's like you know you have to be a jerk to the people in the nerd herd just to prove that you're in the cool group and this is wicked this is this is it's foolish it's wrong it's unkind it's unchristian you know we should always be willing to be nice to people that are so-called uncool or outside the club something wrong with being nice to people and showing them some love being a friend being good to them and maybe crossing over some of those lines between cliques or groups because you know it's inevitable amongst young people that different factions and different cliques and different groups develop you know don't ever be afraid to cross those lines and to be kind to someone from another group to be nice to someone from another group to show love to someone from another group to be friendly to someone who's in another group and don't have this attitude of oh I'm not gonna hang around with so-and-so because they're not cool you know there are a lot of virtues listed in the Bible coolness isn't one of them you know what if what if someone is loving what if someone is intelligent what if someone has wisdom knowledge understanding what if someone has virtue and charity and patience and meekness and long-suffering what if they have all these Christian virtues but they're just not cool well you know I would still want to be a friend to that person you know I don't really care if maybe they're a little awkward or dressed a certain way so what you know those are the things that don't really matter in life and as you get older those things will matter to you less and less and those things will become totally meaningless you and you'll start looking for the virtues that I'm talking about you start looking for those fruits of the Spirit in people and you're not going to be worried about the coolness factor but Acts chapter 28 verse 2 says this says the barbarous people in verse 2 showed us no little kindness now the word barbarous you know when we hear that word we might think that it means that they're just real ooga booga types but actually the word barbarian at its root is just referring to anyone who is not part of the Greek speaking world so anybody who's outside of the Greek speaking world is considered a barbarian so they're still within the Mediterranean Sea here but this is a pocket of people that are not Greek speakers therefore they're not in the in crowd of intelligent academic whatever you want to call it cultural life of the civilized world in the Roman Empire because hey in the Roman Empire right Greek is the big language obviously I know that Latin is the language of Rome but even in the first century A.D. even in the Roman Empire Greek was a more important language than Latin Greek was the big one that's why the Bible wasn't written in Latin it's written in Greek even the epistle to the Romans is written in Greek because even historically that was the most important language even in Rome at that time amongst educated people and so the word of God went forth in Greek these are barbarians they're non-Greek speakers they're from a different club if you would right they're not part of the same ethnic or social or demographic group whatever you want to call it you know these are different people it's sort of like you know the story of the Good Samaritan right you know the Good Samaritan is kind of on the other side of things other side of the tracks if you would from the Jews and yet he helps him out anyway so here we have the barbarians being a blessing to being a friend to being kind to the Romans and those who are not barbarian those who are part of that in-crowd as it were it says the barbarous people showed us no little kindness and then it's going to explain to us what the kindness was it says for they kindled a fire and received us everyone because of the present rain and because of the cold so they're they're showing hospitality right these people are shipwrecked they show up it's cold it's raining and the barbarous people they start a big bonfire and they received everybody and said hey you know come be with us come eat with us come stay with us let us meet your physical needs come and be at the fire that we have kindled not like well you guys you know I thought we're barbarians you know you guys are Romans we don't want to be around you guys and whatever and so what we can learn from this about showing kindness is you know number one kindness has to do with doing things for other people right so when the bible tells us to be kind and to have kindness this can involve doing things for other people helping people out with whatever they need right getting them something to eat something to drink or just taking care of their needs in any way shape or form and maybe they're just lonely and being a friend or being kind in that situation is just to give them some fellowship give them someone to talk to somebody to hang out with because you know it can be pretty awkward to go to a church where you don't know anybody and just kind of sit there and nobody's talking to you you know that that can it can be uncomfortable and I've been in that situation many times when I was growing up just going to a church youth group or going to a church and just kind of sitting there and you don't really know where to look you don't really know what to do with your hands and everybody's ignoring you right so look we as Christians you know want to reach out to people like that you know if you see somebody who's a visitor and or maybe they've even been here for a long time but you don't see anybody talking to them and they're just kind of sitting there you know why not approach that person and strike up a conversation instead of just always being in your same group you know what's wrong with kind of reaching across the aisle reaching outside of your group out someone and providing a little bit of encouragement friendship camaraderie being friendly being kind being loving to other people not snubbing other people but actually reaching out to them and so the first thing they did was they kindled a fire meaning that they provided the need they they helped out in some way they did something for other people that they needed and then the second thing that they did was it says they received us everyone they received us everyone and this is again the attitude that we should have of receiving all types of people receiving all kinds of people okay and see the sad thing about this is that we live in a society that has twisted the truth twisted the Word of God and and ruined concepts like this by saying like oh yes receive sexual perverts yes receive axe murderers receive serial killers you got to receive it you got to love everybody receive ever receive Charles Manson and that's that's obviously absurd but because of this garbage that's being taught just totally rejecting what the Bible says about reprobates what the Bible says about haters of God and things like oh we need to receive people who hate the Lord that's not what the Bible is teaching but don't throw out the baby with the bathwater so because we do understand the reprobate doctrine because we do understand that God does not want us to receive haters of God and and and perverts and predators and serial killers because we actually understand that okay we can sometimes mistakenly go too far to where we're just we're not receptive to people that are different than us when in reality we should be receptive to people that are different to us we should receive everyone except reprobates okay duh but but the problem is that people who understand the reprobate doctrine then it's like they don't get this receive everyone doctrine you know and what do we mean we look in our church we welcome all kinds of people except perverts okay but that's obvious we shouldn't necessarily have to always give that caveat because that should go without saying if we study the whole Bible and have half a brain in our head okay the point is that you know we should have an attitude of receiving all people you know so again you know going back to the young people you know let's say it's a group of teenagers don't exclude someone who's different you know we don't exclude someone who is of a different ethnicity or just maybe different culture maybe they aren't cool or maybe they just have some kind of a problem or some kind of a handicap or an impediment or or whatever you know we want to receive people like that don't be a jerk to people because they're different be kind unto everyone right they received us everyone because of the present rain and because of the cold not because of who we were but because of the fact that it's cold and it's raining so they just said hey we're just going to receive everybody well here's the thing this world this world is a place of cold rain I mean this world is a place that is going to chew you up and spit you out I mean world the world that we live in is a place of pain and suffering for almost everyone okay never mind just for everyone there's not a single person in this room who's going to go through their life without experiencing a lot of pain life is about a lot of pain and suffering let's face it and so guess what you've gone through pain and suffering and if you haven't yet well buckle up because you're going to if you're sitting there thinking well I don't even know what Pastor Ernest is talking about because my life has been easy yeah that's because you're young as you get older you're going to go through fiery trials that are going to try you and you know what it's not just saved Christians that are going through stuff unsaved people are going through even worse things and it's even worse because their suffering is often meaningless whereas our suffering always means something but let's face it this world is going to beat you up this world is going to hurt you this world is going to put you through pain and sorrow and misery and suffering okay that's the reality of life on this planet we're in a fallen world we're in a sinful world and it's not all going to go smoothly for you but guess what it's not going smoothly for anyone else either and so because of the icy rain of the coldness of this existence receive people receive them provide warmth because the world is a cold place toward a lot of people and so we want to provide the warmth that people are lacking you know when we show love to the people of this world you know we're often showing love to people who really need to be shown some love because there's a lot of coldness in their life there's a lot of icy rain a lot of chill in their life and you don't know what people are going through right I mean people are going through a lot of struggles that you don't even know about and so when you're rude to someone when you're a jerk to someone you know you you may not be thinking about the fact that that person might be going through a really hard time and you had the opportunity to encourage them and lift them up you don't want to be the straw that breaks the camel's back to just push that person over the edge so that they're just overwhelmed with sorrow and you push them over the edge right you want to be the person that maybe when they're right on that tipping point you know you can actually breathe some life into that person right and actually get that person because look man I can't even count how many times I've been having a really bad day or going through something really hard and then someone just showed me a little kind gesture and it just really turned things around sometimes just a little thing can turn things around but it can work the other way too right just one insult one rude statement can can kind of push people over the edge the other way or a kind word that's spoken in due season can actually push people over the line and get them back on track it's sometimes just the little things in life that get our spirit back where it needs to be or you can break someone's spirit and so we want to make sure that we realize that even though everybody comes to church and they're smiling and they're happy and they look nice it doesn't mean that they're not going through very hard things in their life big strong and let me tell you so I've been pastoring for 17 years and virtually 100% of the time virtually 100% of the time I show up to church I'm smiling I'm jovial I'm cheerful with you could probably you could probably count on one hand the times out of showing up here and preaching like about 2,000 times right if my math is correct you know showing up here preaching like over like 2,000 times it's probably less than five times I've shown up and I was visibly upset visibly down melancholy in a bad mood right because 99.9% of the time when I show up I'm smiling I'm jovial I'm cheerful I'm happy but do you actually believe that things are just always going that good for me all the time or do you think maybe I'm just showing up and doing my job because it's my job and I don't want to come in here like a big downer like all right everybody you know and you're like wait a minute Pastor Anderson didn't you just tell us that all of our life is suffering and that it's going to chew us up and crap us out or something you know but but here's the thing you know look I come here and I'm friendly I'm smiling I'm jovial and a lot of times most of the time that is how I'm feeling but you know what when I'm feeling down when I'm sad when I'm depressed when I'm going through hard times I still show up and put on a big smile because I'm trying to encourage other people I don't want to bring other people down and I'm just trying to be an encouragement and do my job preach the word of God lift people up the best that I can but you know I'm not always feeling it and you know what I guarantee that you show up at your job sometimes when you're not feeling it and you still do your job because you got to do your job you got to show up Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday it doesn't maybe you're not just like you know boss I'm just not feeling it today are you sick no I'm just you know I'm just kind of down it's like well get down here and do your job well guess what if you know what if if I do that sometimes if sometimes I show up and and put on a smile because I want to just encourage other people don't you think other people are probably doing the same thing sometimes like wouldn't you bet that there are some other people too who show up to church and they're smiling and on the outside everything's fine but on the inside they're going through some some really hard things well guess what that's what I'm saying people are going through hard things that you don't understand therefore be nice to people because you don't know what they're going through and so therefore be kind be helpful be loving be encouraging because you don't know what they're going through and so you know you don't know if they're going through a period of rain and cold in their life and maybe they're just smiling because they're just trying to be nice and friendly but maybe on the inside they are going through that cold and rain and and a dark season and then you blow them off treat them rudely or whatever when you had the opportunity to actually make a difference in that person's life by being kind cheering them up saying something complimentary instead of insulting you don't have to point out what's wrong with everybody's clothing you have to point out what's wrong with everybody's hair right like making fun of things for not being cool is what I mean right and just you know when I was a kid you'd get made fun of a lot if your pants were too short because of the fact that you know when you're a kid you're growing really fast and your parents get sick of buying you a new pair of pants like every month because you're just growing like a weed and so you'd show up in the high waters and people would say like hey you know are you expecting a flood or you know what's going on with the high waters and kids and make fun of you and laugh at you and it wasn't really your fault because it's like you know my mom doesn't want to keep buying more pants she wants to get a few more months out of these till I put holes in the knees or whatever and so you know what's the point in treating people that way right what's the point if somebody gets a bad haircut there's no point in making fun of them about it you know just be nice be kind don't go around just hurting other people's feelings for no reason turn to Ephesians chapter 4 if you would Ephesians chapter 4 so they they came to the fire for us and they received us everyone and we as a church should be ready to receive everyone to receive red yellow black white rich poor good-looking ugly people smart people and unintelligent people you know I don't want to pass their church where everybody's smart now I certainly don't want to pass their church where everybody's dumb but you know I'm not just up here like a only smart people allowed no dumb people you know what I hope that we have some dumb people in our midst tonight because it's my job to make them smarter and if we got some dummies here tonight well they're in the right place to learn and get smarter okay and you know what I don't want to pass their church where everybody's good-looking I want to have some ugly people in church why because of the fact that we should receive all kinds of people okay I don't want to just pastor only cool people I want the nerd give me the nerds the dweebs the awkward why not because they may have great spiritual attributes and even if they don't well you know what maybe if they come here they won't be such a dweeb if we can get them around some cool people you know why not minister to other people and help other people and reach out to other people instead of just excluding people who don't fit your mold you know bring people in right and you know we've had some people at our church over the years who were weird in one way or another but but you know it wasn't that they were wicked or reprobates they're just weird people and look every single church has weird people in it like I've grown up in church my whole life and there's always that guy that's just weird you know what I mean like he's just he just says a lot of bizarre things he's just kind of just awkward and weird you're just like what is wrong with that guy like there's something wrong with him but should we exclude people like that should we just be like well this guy's weird we don't really want him around so nuts to him you know and look obviously church discipline is biblical for you know kicking people out that actually have violated certain things where the Bible says hey you know these are people that you got to put away from among yourselves these wicked people but you know there's no place for just excluding people just because they're a dork or just because they're weird or just because they're awkward or whatever you know or even some of these people will just get labeled as creepy you know but they haven't really done anything wrong or whatever then it's just kind of like you know it's okay to have some weird people hanging around now if everybody in the church were a weirdo we'd start to rethink our lives okay but when you have a church with hundreds of people in it there's some weird people it's like that that's just no that's just par for the course and I'm glad they're here and I want to minister to those people I want to help those people I want to make their Christian life better because because they came to our church they can live a better Christian life and and and experience the love of God and serve God more and grow in faith in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ not we're not just looking for the the the smart people the good looking people the financial you know maybe some people are going to come to our church and they're poor and they don't make any money and maybe it's even because they just suck at their job it's it's not it you know what I mean now some people are poor legitimately maybe they're poor because it's their own fault that they're poor well you know what so what I still want them to come to our church I still love them I still want to minister to them I still want to be a blessing to them oh well you know you're you're you're lame in the workforce so yeah well you know what we all have something lame about us myself included every single one of us has something lame about us because you know what the maybe the coolest kid in this room that's super cool I'll bet you he's got some weaknesses maybe he's not as intelligent maybe he's not as athletic maybe he's not good at his job or maybe he is just not a good Christian how about that because you know I've known some pretty cool people that were lousy Christians well what's more important our Christian walk with God is way more important than how cool we are you know and I guarantee you that sometimes there are people that are really physically strong but they're not that smart the big dumb animals of this world you know there could be other people that are super smart super intelligent have great knowledge and understanding and yet maybe they're physically awkward or clumsy or whatever we all have strengths and weaknesses I have weaknesses I have areas of lameness in my life some people are really good at making money but they're just lousy people other people are terrible at making money but they're great people in other ways and so we all have our lamenesses we all have weaknesses there's something wrong with all of us and so we want to treat other people well in spite of that you know I love what the Apostle Paul said in 2 Timothy chapter 1 about Onesiphorus he said that his friend Onesiphorus oft refreshed me he said and he was not ashamed of my chain but when he was in Rome he sought me out very diligently and found me and we ought not to be ashamed of the chain of the people in our lives because everybody in our lives has a chain as it were meaning that thing that's embarrassing about them or that thing that is a weakness or a problem in their life you know don't be ashamed of the chain just as Onesiphorus was not ashamed of Paul's chain but was a good friend unto him and sought him out diligently and found him in spite of the fact that Paul was not a cool person to be a friend with because he's on the inside he's in jail you know I don't have any friends with this convict with this guy who's in prison he wasn't ashamed of that and obviously that was not through any fault of Paul's but to the world it looked like a fault you know because this world when somebody gets arrested they pretty much just assume that they must be guilty and they must have done something wrong if they're in prison that's the way people think but look down at your Bible there in Ephesians chapter 4 here's another great passage on kindness it says in Ephesians chapter 4 beginning in verse 29 let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth but that which is good to the use of edifying that it may minister grace unto the hearers so when the Bible talks about corrupt communication coming out of our mouth the primary application here is about tearing people down versus edifying people right the corrupt communication what does the word corrupt mean corrupt means rotten it's related to the idea of like food spoiling or or or milk going sour or fruit getting rotten you know that is that process called corruption okay when things decay and rot and sour and so the Bible's saying don't let corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth what's the opposite of that that which is good to the use of edifying edifying means building up that it may minister grace unto the hearers right the opposite of that is a corrupt communication that enters in and causes rot and it tears people down and hurts them and it's a toxic communication you know the Bible also says elsewhere that we should not have filthy communication and I think that what filthy communication is specifically referring to would be say telling dirty jokes or talking about things that are that are graphic or explicit or you know things that are filthy right dirty things but I think in this passage when it talks about corrupt communication the primary application has to do with that which is rotten in the sense that it's not edifying it's not helpful you're hurting people with what you say instead of helping them and then it says you know don't let corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth but that which is good to the use of edifying that it may minister grace to the hearers and grieve not the Holy Spirit of God whereby you're sealed under the day of redemption you see it grieves the Holy Spirit of God who's living inside of you when you use your mouth to tear down brothers and sisters in Christ to hurt other people to be a jerk to your brothers and sisters in Christ you know that hurts just like it would hurt a parent to see one of their children tearing down and hurting and harming one of their siblings right we don't want to see our children hurting each other and it grieves God when we do that it grieves the Holy Spirit of God which is in us and therefore verse 31 let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice don't have malice and ill will toward your brothers and sisters in Christ because that's what's going to lead this toxic stuff to come out of your mouth if you have ill will bitterness or whatever or the other thing that could lead to it is of course this desire to be cool and so you have to tear down other people to lift up yourself or whatever but contrary wise it says in verse 32 be ye kind one to another tender-hearted forgiving one another even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you now what does that mean tender-hearted tender-hearted means the opposite of being hard-hearted or calloused right being tender-hearted is when you're sensitive to the feelings of other people right so like for example uh David's heart smote him when he cut off part of Saul's raiment what he did was so minor it wasn't I mean Saul's trying to kill him and all he did was just damage his clothing but Saul but but David felt bad about even that so he had a really tender conscience if doing something so small made him feel really bad we're looking at it like dude David is totally justified to just tear that garment to shreds I mean this guy is wicked this guy's chasing him but David's just really sensitive about these you know about his conscience and so when the Bible is saying here tender-hearted it means that let's say we say something hurtful to someone or we are rude to someone or we do insult or criticize someone wrongfully and we do tear someone else down to make ourselves feel better that if we're tender-hearted when we say stuff like that it's like oh man I feel so bad I shouldn't have done that and we feel guilty that guilty feeling is because we're tender-hearted right whereas the callous person the hard-hearted person is just insulting people and just a rude jerk to everyone around them and just doesn't feel anything and just walks away like whatever who cares you know we should strive to be tender-hearted and you say well that's just how I am well then you know why don't you pray that God will make you more tender-hearted or why don't you just make a point to be sensitive to how you're making the people around you feel and so he says be kind one to another tender-hearted so that we empathize with other people so that we feel what they feel because we're sensitive to those things tender-hearted forgiving one another even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you because again what's the excuse for being unkind often is well this person's been a jerk to me in the past that's why I treat them this way because this person has been a jerk but but if we forgive people and that goes back to what it said in verse number 31 let that bitterness and wrath and anger be put away from you right all those grudges and and and your anger because of something from the past that you're using as a justification for being unkind you know just put that stuff aside forgive people be kind to them any look if somebody was a jerk to you six months ago why don't you give that person another chance there's no reason not to reach out to that person be kind to them well you know I had smoke with that person five years ago time to let it go buddy let's put that the bitterness and and wrath and evil speaking you know it'd be great to just totally forget about those things and and you know I'm I'm a strong believer in forgiving and forgetting and I mean that in the most literal sense I don't mean when I say forgive and forget I don't mean that as an expression I mean like literally forget like if somebody asked you what were you mad at that person about you'd just be like I don't even know anymore amen you say that's impossible folks we forget so much in our lives think about all the stuff that you learned in high school that you've forgotten I mean look I forget so much I go back and listen to my old sermons I learn a lot and I've had I've had one of my preacher friends say something before and I was like man that is so cool I've never thought of that and they're like I learned it from your sermon and I'm like what I was like I thought I'd never even thought of that I've literally there's been multiple occasions where I said to Pastor Mihiel like man I've never even thought of that and he's just like what in the world like you said that in 2008 or something it's like well okay why because we forget our brains are wired to forget we're good at forgetting I mean look I meet people and then like eight months later I have no idea who they are I mean I forget stuff all the time you know what you don't forget is the stuff that you sit around and think about you know I you know I was asked a bunch of questions recently about this whole the whole like Romero debacle from years ago and and literally my answer to like 90 percent was like I don't really remember I don't know I don't remember because why would I sit around thinking about negative things from four years ago I don't and so I I forget you know and and sometimes like if there's something really bad that happens and it's like somebody's like a reprobate or a false prophet I usually have to like write it down or something because I'm just like I'm not gonna remember why this person was bad you know because like you know if it's something that's really like an unforgivable type thing like where they're like a heretic or whatever and it's just like you know where there needs to be some kind of repentance or something but that's so rare because 99 percent of time I just totally forget and people will literally contact me years later like hey I just want to make things right with you and I'm just like yeah we're cool because I'm just like I don't even know what you're talking about they're like are we cool Pastor Anderson I'm just like of course because I just literally forgot you know why but but how can I do do I just have a superpower of being super forgetful you can have this power to my friend it's called not sitting around and thinking about stuff anything you don't think about you will forget period now I could tell you I could stand here right now and I could go through every single year of my school career I could go through kindergarten first grade second grade third grade fourth grade fifth grade sixth grade seventh grade eighth grade ninth grade tenth grade and I could tell you names of my teachers I could tell you the students that I went to school I could tell you stories from every single year you want to know why because I sat around thinking about it many times many times I've sat around when I was bored and I just thought about kindergarten I thought about first grade I thought about it and I just kind of went through the years and thought about the teachers and the students and because I've revisited those things over and over again and thought about them over and over again I could get up and tell you that but you know I've talked to other people they don't even know anything they can tell me something about when you're in elementary school they're just like I don't know what were the names of your teachers I don't know I mean I guarantee you there are probably people in this room who couldn't tell me the names of their teachers they couldn't tell me the names of their friends back then because it's just like what how could I remember that that was 30 years ago 20 years ago whatever if you sit around thinking about it you'll remember but even though I can I can tell you stories from first grade second grade third grade fourth grade fifth grade sixth grade but you know what there's stuff from six months ago a year ago two years ago four years ago five years ago that I don't remember because it was just it was negative and I just don't want to dwell on it and I don't care I don't want to think about it and I just forgot just constantly just taking files and just throwing them in the trash just empty recycle bin empty recycle bin throw it away clear in space on my hard drive all the time you know but I got some folders over here for stuff that I like to think about but you know why you're still bitter and mad and you have all these grudges is because you sit around and think about those things I guarantee you that if you're still mad about something that happened years ago and you still remember it it's because you sat around thinking about it and so if you want to be a forgiving person stuff that's insignificant stuff that doesn't matter stuff that should be water under the bridge quit thinking about it just if you find yourself starting to think about it just say no I think about something else instead of just being like oh man there was that one time and oh my parents and I got in trouble and they yelled at me and it wasn't my fault and my parents spanked me and I didn't do anything wrong I can't even tell you a single time that my parents spanked me when I didn't do anything wrong but I guarantee you that it happened but I can't remember any of them because I don't care because I'm just glad that they spanked me and raised me to be a Christian and so put aside all that junk forgive and forget be kind and tenderhearted loving forgiving etc and I'm almost out of time but just a couple more points that I want to just flip over to Proverbs chapter 12 real quick I just want to make a couple quick points in closing is that you'll notice that people are often jerks online and in fact people are more likely to be a jerk online than they would be in real life isn't that true and I was thinking about another analogy of this is that when you're driving in a car that people will just make so many jerk moves in the car right you're driving along and people are just cutting you off and and maybe even yelling at you and flipping you off and just just having road rage in general and people will just be super rude honk the horn they're mad or people just doing just jerk moves just just shoving their way in front of you rudely and just whatever tailgating and doing all these things but you know what's interesting is that when you go into the grocery store and you're driving a cart isn't it interesting how that doesn't happen you're not when you're driving through the grocery store in your car it's not like hey jerk watch where you're going you know I've never had anybody tailgating me in the grocery store now I was at the airport a couple weeks ago and this Muslim woman was tailgating me with with like one of those carts with luggage and she just kept like ramming her luggage cart in the back of my legs and I'm just like it's like what in the world and I'm just thinking like man Islam sucks like it's like a bunch of stinking Muslims why are you rear-ending me you know what's that yeah she's like what did you say about the Prophet why you call Prophet pedophile you know but but like she's literally just like she just kept ramming me from behind and I'm just like what but you know what I didn't say anything I was just kind of like whatever stinking Mohammed freak you know but I'm just like whatever but you know what you know what's funny though is that like how often does that happen that somebody's just tailgating you and just cutting you off like you're trying to go down an aisle and they're just like oh nope I'm going that doesn't happen in the grocery store if you both kind of go at the same time it's like oh no sir go go ahead please oh oh excuse me no no oh no take your time you know like oh you mind if I get by oh no I can wait isn't that how people act in the grocery store you know in the grocery store usually people are pretty friendly there's no tailgating there's no cutting people off there's no I've never been flipped off at the grocery store have you who has been flipped off at the grocery store okay well you probably you must have done something really bad it's my kids apparently my children have been flipped off at the grocery store okay we'll talk after well I'll get the story on the way home but the point is how many of you have been flipped off while you're driving a car and you've had somebody flip you it's virtually every hand in the building except people that don't drive yet and so I think online is the same way where people kind of because they're not facing you because they're not in person they can tend to be more of a jerk and so maybe the online mentality or the online society or the the online lifestyle could maybe lead people to become more of a jerk whereas maybe spending more time at the grocery store and I think you know more time at an actual brick and mortar church where you actually interact with people you probably get used to being a little more civil with people when you're dealing with them in real life versus just constantly being a keyboard warrior dealing with people online because there's that distance just like there's that distance when we're driving our car and we're more likely to yell at people or swerve in front of people and be rude to people it's the same way online there's that distance where you're a little more likely to just kind of just you know tell people off or whatever so don't fall into that trap of being a jerk being this bitter rude person you know be kind be gracious be gentle with people right you know last time I checked gentleness is one of the fruit of the Spirit goodness gentleness kindness these are biblical virtues and the Bible says in verse in Proverbs chapter number 12 verse 18 it says there is that speaketh Proverbs 12 18 there is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword but the tongue of the wise is health right so we want our tongue to not be that toxic corrupt rotten tongue that hurts other people we want to have a tongue that is health unto them right that actually breathes life into them and energizes them encourages them comforts them strengthens them lifts them up edifies them we don't want it to be like the piercing of a sword where we're hurting them stabbing them destroying them and at the end of the day just follow the golden rule therefore all things whatsoever you would that men should do to you do ye even so to them for this is the law and the prophets right treat people the way that you want to be treated well I'm better than them okay well then you then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak and not to please yourselves you know and also we should esteem others better than ourselves anyway and so be kind be nice be loving and you know don't be that jerk that just is all that's tailgating and changing lanes without a signal you think that if Christ were alive today he'd be changing lanes without a signal I believe he would use his turn so anyway and it's so funny people will like they'll punish you by like getting in front of you without using their signal I'll show you I'll just get in front of you without using my signal you know why don't you use the signal because you're being a jerk that's why and you know what I've noticed by the way and I'm just gonna I'm just gonna say it every single day I get in my car and drive and I see like these big giant trucks you know like I'm talking just like your basic like I don't know what are they like a Dodge Ram or what are they what are like the big trucks that people drive what like big Ford F-150s or like Dodge Rams or what are some of these big trucks the Tundra and look I'm not against these trucks at all but you know what when I drive virtually every single day that I drive I see these trucks on the road and I just predict like this guy's gonna do a jerk move I just see the truck I haven't seen anything about the guy or anything and I I'll just just I'm just telling you how my mind works I'm just like this guy's probably gonna do a jerk move and like nine times out of ten he does now look I'm not saying anything I'm not against these trucks I mean when I was growing up my dad had big four by fours and stuff and you know I'm not against these vehicles whatsoever they're legitimate vehicles but but but you know what I've noticed though is that like nine out of ten people on the road driving them aren't using turn signals and are just being a road hog and just driving like a jerk in general you know so if you have one of those vehicles be the ten percent that isn't like hey I'm a big man I'm a big truck you know because it makes it seem like you're kind of compensating you know what I mean like you gotta have this big giant truck be a big great big man you know instead of being kind and and loving and it's just like I own the road or whatever you know but that's kind of a parable for life though because you know it's easy to laugh at you know the road hog in the big truck or whatever and again I'm not against the truck if you have the big truck I'm not saying you're a bad driver or anything like that but what I'm saying is that we don't want to go through life with that big truck little man mentality where we're basically having to go around and show everybody how big and tough we are and hurting other people and whatever because you know it's probably just compensating for your own weakness and insecurity be secure in yourself be loving be kind be gentle and use your turn signal for crying out loud let's have a word of prayer father we thank you so much for your word Lord and I pray that we as Christians would would be known for having love and kindness and gentleness Lord and Lord I pray that faithful word Baptist Church would be a place where people could be accepted and loved and where they could come here at all levels of understanding at all from all demographics and find a place to grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and it's in his name we pray Amen.