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Blessing to have the same people with us consistently throughout all this time dear God I just pray that you would please bless our service tonight and speak to those that are here tonight on a Sunday night because They don't just show up once a week on Sunday morning for some kind of a ritual that they perform But they're they're here because they want to learn the Bible because they love you and they know the church is important and so God I pray you bless our service tonight bless the sermon and Help everyone to understand the truth is being preached in Jesus name. I pray. Amen Now tonight's sermon is a little bit kind of a follow-up sermon to last Sunday night sermon Although it's kind of a totally different subject, but it's along the same lines last week We talked about marriage and we talked about divorce Here we're seeing in chapter 2 of Genesis This is marriage being instituted, and we're talking about a completely different subject look if you would at verse number 18 of course famous verse, but the Bible says and the Lord God said it is not good that the man should be alone I Will make it help meet for him And of course if you understand the context if you look at the preceding few verses The Bible says in verse number 16 and the Lord God commanded the man saying of every tree of the garden now may is freely Eat but if the tree of the knowledge of good and evil thou shalt not eat a bit From the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die now I want to preach about a subject that I've never preached about before and Some of it is is subjects that I have preached about but a lot of it I haven't and that's about Dating and marriage, okay That's a subject that I haven't really talked that much about but it's an important subject For a lot of reasons and that it's important to those that are single Obviously because this is where you're at and it's important to those that are not single because you may give advice to someone someday Or you when you have children and you want to teach them these things Don't ever think that a message that I preach does not apply to you Every single sermon that I preach apply it will you will be able to use that at some point you need to know that how? Do I know that well because it's in the Bible okay and everything that's in the Bible is something that you need personally I mean I it's sermons that I heard throughout the years I thought well that doesn't really apply to me, but then years and years later that information came in hey I needed that information, and then there's always a way for you to apply this truth to your life But number one thing that I want to talk about this is that God gives a man or a woman Both he gives them the right to choose who they get married to Now this is contrary to what's taught in most churches is contrary to what's taught in Baptist churches a lot of people believe in this stuff about courtship have you ever heard of that courtship or Parents choosing the spouse of their children you ever heard of that kind of stuff And you know a lot of Christians think that that's really godly to do that and they think that that that really means that They're just so fundamental and they're so old-fashioned that they're going back to the Bible You know that is not a biblical concept at all and I was thinking about this And I'm going to prove it to you in the Bible of course as I try to prove everything that I preach from the Bible But I was thinking about who in 2007 does that? arranged marriages courtship You know as I was thinking about well the Muslims do it okay the Muslims they choose their children's spouses I was thinking about in East India. They do that now are those are those are godly Christian role models Bible believe other Bible believing Christians right that love the Bible they love God no, it's the most it's the most heathen People in the world the most ungodly primitive people in the world are the ones who are doing it That doesn't cast a very good light on it, and you say well. I shouldn't matter anyway should go by What's in the Bible? Well? You know what it's not in the Bible nowhere in the Bible you find God condoning A parent choosing their child's spouse. It's just not in the Bible now There are some heathen people in the Bible that did it the Hittites and the Philistines a few different times But you won't find God's people doing that and plus keep in mind just because people in the Bible do something That doesn't mean that God is telling you to do it people in the Bible murder They lie they commit adultery if we look at something Culturally that someone in the Bible does that does not mean that God is telling you this is the way I want you to do Things okay, Israel had four wives is God trying to tell us that I you know I should be increasing my harem here. I've only got one wife. I'm ready to add a couple more I got three more slots available No Look you have to be able to decipher between something that God is telling you to do in the Bible and where God is telling You about what someone else did could be a positive or negative example You've got to study to show yourself approved to know that Now look at flip over in your Bible to the book of Numbers the fourth book in the Bible and look at chapter 36 numbers 36-6 is the verse that I want you to look at Numbers 36 6 I do not believe in parents choosing the spouse of their child I don't believe in courtship and arranged marriages. I don't think it's fundamental. I think it's just Wrong, I think it's just a heathen practice. That's against the Bible look at Numbers chapter 36 I'll show you what I mean and most of what I'm going to talk about a lot of it comes from Genesis chapter 2 But look at Numbers chapter 36. This is the thing Which the Lord doth command now? We're not talking about what people did in the Bible We're talking about the thing which the Lord doth command Concerning the daughters of Zelophehad, and I don't have time to go into the whole story You might know the story if you study the Bible saying let them marry to whom they think best Only to the family of the tribe of their father shall they marry now here You see a pattern that God sets throughout the Bible he started it back in Genesis chapter 2 and here we see God's Consistent pattern where he tells a woman we're not even talking to men we're talking about two women He says to these women. He says you marry to whomsoever you think best Now who has the choice? The woman to marry whoever she thinks best now if you study Genesis chapter 2 there's a theme That's carried throughout Genesis chapter 2 of the free will of man Did you notice how God said to Adam he said of all the trees of the garden I mean is freely he said eat whatever you want you want to eat this tree fine You want to eat this one you want to eat this one today, and now and tomorrow hey Adam You decide what you want to eat, and then here are all the animals Adam I'm gonna let you Adam decide what you call these animals you remember that part, and he said whatever you call it Adam That's what I'm gonna call it. I mean God is giving him tremendous power He's not saying you will name it what I tell you to name it Adam No, he says Adam you name it what you want to name it you eat What you want to eat you do what you want to do Adam, but? I'm giving you a guideline of what you're not going to eat, and that's this tree right here. That's my tree You're not gonna eat that tree God gives mankind a free will we have a free choice whether we're gonna get saved or not Brother Dave, and I also any day we presented a gospel to people they then have the choice whether they were gonna reject Jesus Christ or receive Jesus Christ as their Savior God is not going to force anyone to get saved God has never forced anyone to get saved he gives them the choice to be saved or not saved God doesn't force me to do right He gives me the choice today whether I'm gonna do right or wrong I decide Now I'm gonna live with the consequences of my choices of course, but God always gives you the choice Now God teaches throughout the about flip over to well don't flip there because we already looked at last night But you remember in 1st Corinthians 7 39 the Bible says the wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth But if her husband be dead she is at liberty to be married to whom she will okay? What's that mean to who she wants to? Only in the Lord so we see clearly a couple different scriptures, especially the one in Numbers 36 made it very clear He says I give women The decision of who they want to marry now you say well What about arranged marriages when Abraham picked a wife for his son Isaac, that's not what happened Abraham did not pick a wife for his son Isaac He sent the servant to a far country and said hey go pick up a wife From that far country the servant prayed and said God would you reveal to me? What woman you would have for Isaac? And he prayed and this God showed him a sign of that different woman, and then what they asked her they asked her Do you want to go with them would you like to be married to Isaac, and she said yes, I will okay So she had the choice Abraham never even met the girl so no Abraham was not picking his son's spouse. It's just not just it's not true Okay, that's not the way it happened at all that was a special instance where God chose a wife specifically for Isaac One time okay now I believe I've been taught my whole life And there's so many extra biblical things that you're taught and if you grew up in church And I don't know if you really grew up in church as much as I did But you hear things just over and over and over and you just believe them because you hear them so many times Like the thing about the agape and the unconditional love and everything I could talk about this morning You just hear something over and over you just believe it, and this is what's taught all the time There's one person out there. That's what they teach you when you're a kid one person out there this one girl You know and she's the will of God okay, and like that's who you're gonna marry Okay, and God has this one person, and you better stay in God's will or else you're gonna miss out on that one Per that is not true because you won't find that anywhere in the Bible number one and number two That's so silly because who is gonna live that perfectly in the will of God and then what if she's not living in the will of God right she marries some other guy I Guess you're just sunk, and it's through no fault of your own right. It doesn't really make any sense and It's not a biblical concept you see when you're dating and this one I'm talking about that dating is something where a man chooses the girl that he wants to marry And a girl chooses the man that she wants to write God leaves that choice up to us as human beings He said marry whomsoever you will only in the Lord be not even unequally yoked together with unbelievers You know marry someone who's saved marry someone he gives guidelines to a man He says this is what you should look for in a woman But he said in in numbers 36. He said hey marry who you think best But marry from the from the family of the tribe of your father's I think that the spiritual concept obviously that was a financial thing if you studied the story I'm not going to go into it, but if you say the concept there. He's saying hey marry somebody from your crowd You know what I mean like your tribe, and they mean you know he's saying don't marry some Somebody who's a Christian that's really liberal you know hey marry somebody from your from your kind Marry somebody in the Lord is what he's saying, but marry who you want to marry I mean you think think about this and here's an illustration that I thought of as I was preparing this sermon let's say I'm driving down the road and I'm hungry. It's one o'clock, and I'm ready for lunch, and I'm hungry well Here's a Panda Express on one side of the street I love to eat a Panda Express, and here's Baja Fresh on the inside. I like Baja Fresh Okay, do you think that I get on my knees and pray and say oh God? With weather of the twain God Weather of these twain thou God which knowest the hearts of all men Whether these twain has thou chosen for me today to eat God show me your will God No, do you think God cares whether I eat a Panda Express or Bob? Now he doesn't want me to do McDonald's okay? There's McDonald's Panda Express Baja Fresh. God says you decide Which tree you want to eat from okay? He says pick the one that you like. Do you like Chinese food okay? Or do you like Baja Fresh? You know now does he want me to go to the bar across the street and just get a sandwich? You know sit at the bar and have a sandwich no, so there's guidelines rules God said this is what's right, and this is what's wrong, but within those rules. God gives us freedom to do what we want to do Look I can do if I want to if I want to install fire alarms I can go install fire alarms for a living right if I want to Be an electrician if I want to be a plumber if I want to be a carpenter Hey, God is not going to force me to do something He says be what you want to be do what you want to do But follow this book while you're doing it see God's will is found within the pages of this book There's not some spooky thing out there. What is the will of God? I must find the will of God for my life Hey open the Bible and find the will of God for your life God will tell you everything that's his will and if it's not in this book, then it's up to you I believe that but there's a lot in this book This this will limit you quite a bit okay start reading this book You'll be limited enough without somebody having to tell you that you're supposed to pray and and then you look when you pray does God talk back to you. He doesn't talk back to me see you pray and then I'm Waiting for an answer from God. You're waiting a long time Okay, God will not tell you who to marry He's not going to do it Because it's it's not his job to decide who you marry. It's your job to decide who you marry That's a Bible concept, and so you'll see that all throughout the Bible And I strongly believe that there. I mean there's so many areas in life where God gives you a choice But look at look at Proverbs 31 Proverbs 31 Famous chapter in the Bible Proverbs 31. I think about this verse. I was thinking about this verse I remember you know these missions conferences. They would always say The pastor would get up and say pray that God would reveal to you How much he wants you to put in the plate for this mission thing you know you need to pray and that number you're thinking Literally I mean if I've heard this once my wife's laughing because she's been in the same church as I have okay If I heard this once I've heard it 30 times just that number you're thinking about right now Just go ahead and write it down. I know it seems high Okay Am I kidding no, I'm serious. I know it seems a little high, but that number that just entered your head That's God speaking to you write that down on the car You know the pledge card where you I promise I will give such-and-such every single week You put that in the plate okay? I've literally been in so I mean if I've heard it once I've heard 20 times you know Pray and God's gonna show you some number well. Here's what the Bible says this is a different subject But it's along the same lines of free will The Bible says every man, and this is talking about giving to missionaries This is in 2nd Corinthians 9 7 don't turn there, but it says every man according as he purpose it in his heart So let him give Not grudgingly or of necessity for God loveth a cheerful giver He says you decide how much you want to give in the Old Testament They had a free will offering where people could just of their own free will just bring an offering to the house of God You know an animal is what they're talking about back then and so God lets you decide How much you want to give to the missionaries on Wednesday night? I'm never gonna get up and preach and say if you don't give to the missionaries. You're not right with God These people are dying in Alaska It's your fault because you won't put money in the plate you skin flake you tightwad. I'm not gonna preach like that That's wrong. God says no. You don't have to give the missionaries You don't have to bring an offering you give your tithe and you're fine, but he says if you want to You purpose in your heart How much you're going to give let every man give it as he purposed in his own heart for God loveth a cheerful giver Now that's that's so clear in 2nd Corinthians 9 7 But see people have this attitude where they they try and get away from Giving people any choices any kind of a freedom, but God the God of freedom the where the Spirit of the Lord is There is Liberty God gives you the Liberty in so many areas now when he tells you no, it's no and there's no Liberty But when he's not telling you yea or nay He says you decide you choose do what you want to do I mean Mary 8 you're gonna have to live with her sir You pick the one that you like is what he's saying pick the one you like I believe that and so I'm not gonna apologize for making that statement at all because that's the truth God lets you choose your spouse and that's clear in the Bible not mom and dad to choose and not God to choose you choose Okay Now God does have opinions about it look at Proverbs chapter 31 And we'll see some guidelines that God gives to the wise man that will listen to these things The Bible says the words of King Lemuel the prophecy that his mother taught him so Lemuel, which is King Solomon probably is Being taught some things by his mother About how to find a wife and so the Bible says what my son and what the son of my woman what the son of my Vows give not thy strength unto women nor thy ways which know thy ways to that which destroy of Kings And then she goes on to warn him about alcohol, but look at verse number 10 who can find a virtuous woman For her price is far above rubies The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool and flak So he's describing she's describing to her son. What kind of wife he wants to find he's saying you're she's saying you're gonna Go seek a wife. You're looking for the right kind of wife. This is what you look for Now why didn't she say well, this is the kind of woman we're gonna pick for you son, so don't worry about it now She's telling him what he needs to look for because she knows this is a decision that he needs to make Okay, and then down at the bottom the Bible she kind of sums it up in verse 30 where she says favor is deceitful And beauty is vain but a woman that feareth the Lord she shall be praised Now you say what if I'm already married well if you're already married Then whoever you're married to that is God's will for your life. You don't understand who I'm married to look That's God's will for your life. That's period but when you're not married The choice is yours within the parameters of what God has stated Now number two those so number one. I want you to know is that God gives you the choice Courtship the chivalry the little you know Taking the father-in-law out to eat and buying him fancy gifts. They buy the girl fancy gifts You know I mean, I don't buy into any of that garbage, and it's not it's not right. It's not from the Bible I mean, it's it's a false doctrine. I would I would label it as such But number two you know it's God's will for young people to get married Look if you would at that Genesis chapter 2 verse 18 where we were Genesis chapter 2 18 the Bible reads and the Lord God said it is not good that the man should be alone Very early on in the Bible God establishes this I will make it help meet for him And then look at verse 23 and Adam said this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man Therefore shall a man leave his apartment With his roommate or no. I'm sorry therefore shall a man leave his college dormitory I'm sorry I'm seeing things tonight therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and Shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh And they were both naked the man and his wife and were not ashamed look God Do you see clearly what God's plan is right there now? This is obviously not everybody's situation because of the world that we've the topsy-turvy world that we live in But God's will according the Bible is that a man goes from father and mother? To his wife that a woman goes from father and mother to her husband now. There's several reasons for that Flip over while I while I talk to you about this flip over to 1st Corinthians chapter 7 where we were last week 1st Corinthians chapter 7 and we'll look at a part of the chapter that we didn't get to last week Let me tell you a little story. I got married when I was 19 years old I turned 19 And I believe I think it was about two weeks two and a half weeks after my 19th birthday is when I got married Say wow pastor, and you got married really young well, there's another there's another guy in the same church in the same youth group as I was and He got married when he was young to do you know what his name is Roger? He minutes you remember him came here in praise. He got married a few weeks after his 18th birthday You say oh wow isn't that's terrible. That's not terrible. That's great Now the reason that you think that's terrible is because you have a worldly mentality I think because the world will tell you oh wow that's really young to get married the world wants you to get married when you're In your late 20s the world wants to get married when you're 30 years old But can I tell you something about that youth group that brother Roger? He minutes, and I went to you know where most of the kids are and that youth group today You know where they are out of church in a liberal church pregnant out of wedlock Living in sin that's where most of them are you know who's living for God today from that youth group Stephen Anderson and Roger he minutes okay now. Do you think it might be a correlation there a little bit. I think so Now I'm not saying that everyone else in the youth group went bad, but you know by and large most of them did go bad Okay, we could go down the names. We could run down the list and they did most of them did go bad now Why is that because getting married is what kept me out of trouble? Getting married is what kept Roger Roger Jimenez out of trouble Marriage is something that God ordained to keep you out of trouble as especially as a young man It brought me into a world of responsibility right away where all of a sudden I've got my wife to take care of I've got bills to pay I've got responsibility I've got something that I need to work for I'm busy no more free time Okay, just work work work have kids Lot of work, but look down at first Corinthians chapter 7 and you'll see what I'm saying here Your God spells it out in the Bible in first Corinthians 7 1 the Bible says now concerning the things were of you wrote unto me It is good for a man not to touch a woman Nevertheless to avoid fornication Let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband and so here the Bible saying That you know men and women touching each other is not you know, it's not appropriate before marriage People should not be physical when they're dating. Okay, it should wait until they're married to have a physical contact of you Know what I'm talking about, of course But he says to avoid fornication Let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband What's one of the purposes for getting married according the Bible to avoid fornication? What he's saying is that a young man is going to want to have a physical relationship with a woman period Okay 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 year old guy is going to want To have a physical relationship with a woman and he says you know what? That's fine But you must do within the bounds of what I've ordained which is called marriage and he says to avoid fornication To avoid you committing the awful sin and yes fornication is an awful sin It's been toned down in the day that we live. It's not that bad anymore to people. It's it's so much on TV It's so much in our lives. It's in our churches. It's in our youth groups, but I'm going to tell you something fornication is an awful Terrible sin when I was a kid who was preached against the pastor would breathe fire I mean even in my most backslidden worldly condition I mean I heard the right preaching as a kid to where my most backslidden and worldly condition as a teenager I would have been scared to death to commit the sin of fornication. I'm talking about having a physical You know relationship lying with a woman outside of marriage. I mean I would have been scared to death I would thought God was going to strike me dead literally. I mean I was scared to death That's the way it ought to be I had the fear of God in me. I said that is an awful sin I mean there were things that I knew were a sin that I said you know I'm going to do it anyway But I whoa whoa not going to go there because it was so demonized to me As it ought to be as the Bible lays it out very clearly that fornication is a very wicked greed of sin And I'll preach it as such you say well. I've done it. Hey look. I'm going to preach against it I don't care whether you've done it or not. There's things that I've done I'm going to preach against them too, and if that hurts your feelings then go to some pansy liberal church I'll help you find one You want me to help you find a liberal church all you got to do will open the phone book and put your finger down And you know what you got a pretty good chance You're looking at a liberal church because that's about 99% of churches won't preach on sin and won't yell and scream about this stuff But fornication is an awful sin, and so God says you know what to avoid fornication Why don't you just get married and then you can? Legally and lawfully and rightfully enjoy the relationship that I want you to have that's what he's saying So what the Bible clearly says look at it in verse number two Now let me tell you something you think an 18 19 20 21 year old guy wants to be celibate Just think about it. No he doesn't and that's why God is saying this now. I think it's a I think it's a Dangerous doctrine to teach young people to wait until they're in their late 20s to get married and the average age for getting married right now Out in the world is about 28 years old. I don't know if you know that Why because a bunch of worldly people that's what they do they graduate from high school They go off to some college somewhere, and they live it up. They party they sleep around they fornicate with everybody They so their wild oats, and then they settle down and get married. That's wicked as hell. That's ungodly It hurts people it hurts you the Bible says he that committed fornication Sin it against his own body. He says it's wrong He says you're defiling the temple of the Holy Spirit, and it's a sin he says Avoid fornication get married That's what the Bible teaches And you'll you'll not find anywhere in admonition in the Bible to wait to get married until you're older you say well I don't like that well Okay, then don't like it but I Can show you the youth group and I can show you the people that waited to get married And I can show you the people that got married when they were young and we can see how they turned out now look at verse number three the Bible says let the husband render unto the wife do benevolence and Likewise also the wife unto the husband the wife hath not power of her own body But the husband and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body But the wife defraud ye not one the other thing about withholding physical relationship from your spouse Defraud ye not one the other he says you're ripping each other off Except to be with consent for a time that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer and come together again that Satan Tempt you not for your incontinency But this I but that's because by permission and not of commandment For I would that all men were even as my as I myself because he's not married Paul Paul is not married I would that all men were even as I myself But every man hath his proper gift of God one after this manner and another after that a Paul you keep your gift All right, I have a different gift right and so Paul if that's if that's your gift Have I be single for the rest of your life, that's not my gift I got married when I was 19 years old and people people faulted me for doing it at the time And I showed them this in the Bible. I said you know what all fault all fault the guy who dates his girlfriend for four years Don't tell me that he's not thinking bad thoughts about his girlfriend that he dates for four years Don't tell me that they don't do bad things for four years straight. Hey Satan is gonna tempt you for your incontinency Hey do things God's way and we're gonna get to that later in the message about ways to safeguard yourself from falling into sin as It's called falling into sin Although most people just walk into sin But I'm gonna give you some reasons that I think you should do to safeguard yourself against that But let's face it. There's no point in dating somebody for four years there's no purpose to it at all and So to avoid fornication God says you know why don't you just lock in the deal? Why is this get married? Okay? Why don't you just seal the deal now? the Bible says in verse number Excuse me Look at verse 7. He said every man hath his proper gift of God one after this man or another after that I say therefore to the unmarried and widows is good for them if they abide even as I But if they cannot contain let them marry for it is better to marry than to burn he's talking about burning and lust Toward the opposite gender he said it's better just to get married than to have that burning say the word burning That's usually what's talking about in the Bible now flip over to Psalm chapter 127 in the middle of your Bible Psalm 127 I'm going to show you further about this thing of getting married young as Opposed to what the world teaches. Oh, I just wish that I would have waited a little longer Someone's better to wait a while to get married and then get married and then wait a while to have kids Well, you know what do you want to live with mom for 27 years because you know what that's what the Bible says You can try to change what the Bible says But it says that a man is supposed to leave father and mother and cleave to his wife and they twain shall be one flesh I'm not going to live with mom for 26 years I don't want to be living with mom when I'm 30 years old and that's what the Bible teaches The Bible does not teach you to send your kids off to a Bible college where they go and I know this isn't popular I don't care but to sit in some Bible college dormitory somewhere. They actually have like a dorm mother is what they call it the dorm supervisor the dorm mother And you know what Bible college is a surrogate mom and dad They literally they tell you when to get up in the morning They tell you when to go to bed. They tell you when to get a haircut They tell you what you can wear what you can't wear They tell you what to do every second of the day They tell you when you can use the bathroom. They tell you when you can blow your nose They tell you all these rules upon rules look God is not the God of a man ruling over a bunch of other people a bunch of other grown men Right a bunch of 18 19 year old 20 year old guys being told what to do being parented by some dorm Supervisor by some dorm mother dorm father. It's it's wrong Pastor Anderson will never parent you as long as you go to this church. I will never be your daddy, okay? I will never tell you what to do You won't find me parenting you and telling you what you can and can't do hey where the spirit of the Lord is there is Liberty You stand before God as your authority I'm not going to tell you what to do Mom and Dad will tell you what to do when you're a kid and when you're married if you're a wife then your husband will Tell you what to do my boss tells me what to do at my job But I as the pastor of this church do not tell you what to do There is no dress code to come to this church you wear whatever you want to this church There's no code of conduct in this church. You do whatever you want in your personal life I'm not going to have to tell you rules there are churches where you have to sign a paper to join the church I'm not going to go to the movies I'm not going to drink a beer Hey look drink a beer on the way to church for all I care you're going to answer to God for it Huh, God's the one that's going to be good. God's going to make you get in a car accident on the way home God you'll answer to him for it on the way home when you get in a wreck You know God will chase in you, but where you have weak watered-down preaching where you have preaching that does not preach on sin You have to have a bunch of rules Because if you preach right? Everybody's dressed right in the auditorium tonight because we yeah because I preach about it I don't have to have some rule and if people will choose to dress differently fine I it doesn't even literally doesn't even bother me at all Okay, but when you have weak watered-down liberalism Whenever you get away from the Bible liberty goes out the window And you have to have big thick rule books telling people you must go soul-winning for one hour a week I went to a church we had to sign a paper If you're Sunday school teacher you had to sign a paper How many hours you spent so winning that week and if you don't go so one you can't be sending school teacher hey great You know what that's great that you have to go so winning, but you know what shouldn't people just want to go so winning Shouldn't people choose themselves that they want to go so winning without the pastor dictating them that they must go so winning Hey, why don't you preach on soul-winning people will be inspired to go so winning on their own rule in college Every week when I was in Bible college. I had to fill out this paper the activity report I had to fill out how many hours did you spend soul-winning? Did you go to church on Sunday morning? Did you go to church on Sunday night? Did you go to Sunday school? Did you go to church on Wednesday night? How many people did you get saved? How many people did you present the gospel to blah blah blah blah blah? That's not Bible Christianity. It's not none of that's in the Bible and so I Don't know what that had to do with the sermon at all is what I'm trying to figure out, but look at Psalm 127 I'm gonna have to get the tape on this one and figure out how I even got off on that Psalm 127 freedom Make your own choices what we're talking about tonight Hey guys what we're talking about Psalm 127 Look at verse number three The Bible reads lo children are in heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb is his reward as arrows are in the hand Of a mighty man, so are children of the youth see that God is saying have children when you're a youth Clearly happy is the man that have this quiver full of them They shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate, but then flip over to Psalm 92 He says in Psalm 92 I'm 92 I'm a terrible cold Psalm 92 look at verse number 12 the Bible reads the righteous shall flourish like the palm tree He shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon those that be planted in the house of the Lord Shall flourish in the courts of our God they shall still bring forth fruit in old age. They shall be fat and flourishing So what is he saying? He's saying you know what have children when you're young and have children when you're old, but have children when you're a youth, okay? Yeah, the current teaching from the world Which is correct into churches is? Wait to get married Date everybody just be single for a while go live in an apartment for a while Go live in an apartment get a couple of guys together and get an apartment a couple of girls together get in an apartment for a While go to college dormitory, and what's it a cause don't oh is it a monastery that sort of reminds me It reminds me of a Catholic monastery. I'll be honest with you Get it get in some dorm room and have a bunch of roommates. It's perverted to me literally I think it's perverted a college Bible college dormitory I think it's perverted you think I want to live in a room with three other guys No, I don't I want to live with this girl right here in the front row, okay? I want to live with my beautiful wife here. I don't want to live with three other guys I live with mom and dad and then I left and went to be with my wife now with three guys in a bunk bed No, and so I'm against the Bible college dormitory. I'm against men getting an apartment together I'm against women getting an apartment together. I'm against it You think it's a healthy environment for two 19 year old girls to be in an apartment together with no supervision No dad no mom no husband Just doing their own thing doing whatever they want with no supervision. No, I don't think that's a good environment at all I think God designed the family as a safeguard to keep you straight. He says it's not good for you to be alone It's not good for a man to be alone. You're gonna get into trouble And so I'm gonna put you with a mom and a dad they're gonna keep you straight And then you go up you're gonna get married you're gonna be with your wife. Hey, let's say I wanted to do something bad Let's say I just say you know what I think I'm just gonna drink a beer tonight Okay, and I've never thought how can I drink that but? My wife's here. You know what's she gonna think? You see what I'm saying like even if I were just a backslid in the lane Christian. I'd at least be thinking okay Well, what's she gonna think about me if I watch such-and-such on TV? You kind of see what I'm saying I mean there's some kind of accountability there where somebody's looking over your shoulder where it's not just you in a dark room all by Yourself you got the TV you got the remote. I don't have a TV Thank God, but you know you got the TV. You got the remote Somebody comes you know some strange person comes to the door You know you just feel like going out somewhere. Hey, there's no accountability Nobody knows where you're at nobody knows what you I just don't think it's a good environment to be in I think the family is The ultimate environment to be in I think God ordained the family I grew up in a family and now I have my own family I think that's what God wants be honest with you And so I don't think that two men living together, and you know it did not used to be the norm in this country I don't know if you know nowadays. It's very normal. You know men live together all the time Women live together all the time. I was talking recently to a really old man. I believe he was 93 years old and He told me he said you know what he said people did not used to live together in apartments men like a couple guys Getting an apartment. He said just it wasn't the norm and he said you know back in that he said way back when when I was single he said I got an apartment with another guy and People thought that we were a couple faggots living in that apartment. He said literally I mean, this is a 93 year old man. You know and obviously nowadays. It's just totally normal I'm not saying that at all, but that's what I'm just using that to illustrate to you How times have changed you know I mean like it was just what in the world are these two guys doing living together an apartment? Remember the show the odd couple you know back in the 1960s Couple of guys living together. You know they're trying to push that on the American people trying to get you used to that idea You say pass for anerson you're nuts you're over-the-top. I can't believe you're preaching it men living together as roommates Hey the Bible says the Bible says To leave father and mother and cleave to your wife. You're not the apostle paul. You're not some traveling missionary You're not some proper gift of a guy who says I'm going to be celibate my whole life and and go out and preach the Gospel and be beaten with rods five times. Hey, you're not the apostle paul Hey get married and and and live with a woman live with a man And don't just go do your own thing or live with mom and dad is what he's saying, okay? Now I realize that in today's world there are situations where you know you're not going to go home with mom and dad I just like and you know like for example There are people who have divorced homes and to live with mom and dad would be to live with some strange Step-parent you know I don't mean strange isn't weird, but I mean it's not a relative It's not a it's not a blood relative and so that could be a strange situation that you're in or or on and on and on There's all kinds of weird situations in today's world unfortunately, and I'm not saying anything like that But I'm saying to the young person is what I'm talking about a young person growing up 16 17 18 I'm 18. I'm gonna go move out wrong Are you getting married then move out if you're not getting married stick with mom and dad and then get married And then leave your mom and dad and be joined to your spouse, and that's what I believe from the Bible I'm gonna stand by that I pray to God that my three sons here in the front row my daughter I hope that they go from my house To their to their wife. That's my goal for these kids in the front row I hope that my wife goes from from me being her authority me being her big daddy To giving her off to some other guy be in her authority I don't want her to just be roaming around making her own decision doing her own thing no She'll have the decision who she marries But then he's gonna be telling her what to do. I mean, that's the way life is that's marriage Now look if you would at Proverbs chapter 5 Proverbs chapter 5 will see the same concept in the Bible Proverbs chapter 5 so number one. I said you know what I believe I strongly believe. I'm not against dating at all I'm not for this courtship and chivalry and Go talk to her dad, and and you know win him over and and he's the one who's gonna make the decision And she's gonna make the decision. I don't need to make the decision see whenever you have liberalism you have all this control I don't need to control my son here When my son is 16 17 18 years old my son better know how to pick the right wife He better be smart enough to make his own decision I shouldn't have to make his decision for him when he's 16 17 18 years old or else I have failed to teach him what I need to be teaching him now. I'm not gonna parent my adult children I don't want my mom and dad parenting me when I'm 25 years old I'm not gonna parent my kids when they're 25 years old hey I'm gonna train them now, and then I'm gonna cut the umbilical cord and they can go make their own decision They can choose their own spouse and then number two I believe that getting married is something that people should do when they're young Ideally okay, that's God's will ideally, but look at this in Proverbs chapter 5 verse 1 the Bible says my son attend unto my wisdom and bow thine ear to my understanding that thou mayest regard discretion and that thy lips may keep knowledge for The lips of a strange woman drop as in honeycomb and her mouth is smoother than oil But her end is bitter as wormwood sharp as a two-edged sword Her feet go down to death her steps take hold on hell lest thou shouldst ponder the path of life her ways are movable That thou canst not know them hear me now therefore you children and depart not from the words of my mouth Remove thy way far from her and come not nigh the door of her house We're gonna come back to that verse lest thou give thine honor unto others in thy years unto the cruel now look at verse 15 we're going to see the same concept that we saw in 1st Corinthians 7 drink waters out of thine own sister and Running waters out of thine own will let thy fountains be dispersed abroad and rivers of waters in the streets Let them be only thine own and not strangers with thee let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth You see this consistently God's not giving an exact number. He's not giving you an exact age This is when you should be married because everybody's different. You know everybody's life is different, but he's saying The word youth over and over he's using that word youth because he's saying look get married when you're young to avoid Fornication hey, I didn't have the wild party in college years pastor Anderson didn't have the bunk bed years in some dorm room somewhere Well, I was out dating everybody and partying and that's sleeping around No, I didn't because I I kept my virginity until I got married when I was 19 years old Okay, and you say boy the why you were you kept your virginity until you got married. Yes I did, but you know what it was probably a lot easier to keep my virginity So I was 19 then when I was 29 or 39 that would've been a little harder Okay, keeping it till I was 19 is a challenge Okay, because obviously the Bible says that there's there's a there's an element there of the devil tempting you Especially in today's world where girls are scantily clad everywhere you look it's a terrible situation for young men But it's a lot easier to keep yourself straight till you're 19 until you're 29 until you're 39 until you're 49 It's over buddy. No, but anyway, the point is God is saying here rejoice with the wife of thy youth Hey, you don't need the strange woman is what he's saying to his son here Solomon's teaching his son. You don't need a strange woman Get married when you're young Rejoice with the wife of thy youth the Bible says let her be in verse number 19 as the loving hind and pleasant rove Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times and be thou ravished always with her love and why? Wilt thou my son be ravished with a strange woman and embrace the bosom of a stranger For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord and he pondereth all his goings What is the point of going out horn around son, why don't you just do what the Bible says? Choose one of the trees of the Garden of Eden Hey get married and rejoice with the wife of your youth Do it God's way and you won't even have to go around all these strange women You won't have to be a fornicator because you can just enjoy your own wife Is that what the Bible saying or is it just me? That's what the Bible teaches Now look at Romans chapter 13 important verse in the Bible Romans chapter 13 Romans chapter number 13 I'm going to tell you something one of the best things that ever happened to me spiritually was getting married Just because it made me grow up this person, you know, maybe go from being a child To being the man of my own house. Okay big difference all of a sudden I've got bills to pay all of a sudden. I'm working 50 60 hours a week all of a sudden. I've got responsibility I've got someone who's looking to me for leadership Big difference all the other kids are out playing and being an idiot You know, I was I was being a man. I was being an adult That we live in a world that's trying to keep people young longer Trying to keep people childish trying to keep people stupid I mean think about it now it used to be you graduate from high school you go into a career Now it's like four years of college is just the norm you're keeping people in school longer You're keeping them children longer, you know an 18 year old boy now is not a man He's got to go to Bible College and graduate from Bible College four years later, then he's a man, you know He's just a kid and that's why we have to change his diaper at some Bible college somewhere Hey, look when I was 19 I was changing my own diaper and I was running my own house and that's a good thing This thing of keeping people young keeping them a child keeping them foolish is what it really is people need to grow up and be a man Women need to grow up and take some responsibility And put some roots down and do something with their life not just floating around with roommates and partying and and whatever Are we in Romans 13 look at verse number 14 Bible Reason verse number 14 But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ and make not provision for the flesh to fulfill the lusts thereof So what God is teaching here is that you shouldn't put yourself in a situation You shouldn't make provision for the flesh for you to fulfill the lusts of your flesh now. This is what I was talking about a little bit about Stake-guarding yourself against some of the dangers of of being a young man, you know being a woman that could be Leaden to temptation now you could apply this whether you're married whether you're single you could apply this in either way but remember what he said in Proverbs 5 was he said Remove thy way far from her talking about the the the horse woman He said stay away from her remove thy way far from her and come not nigh the door of her house He's saying to this young man Don't think that you can handle being around this kind of a woman who's trying to seduce you and trying to entice you Don't think that you can be around her house Don't think you can just go to her house and and sit around and you're not going to be tempted He says stay away from her get away from her and the Bible is teaching us here in Romans 13 Hey, don't make provision for your flesh to fulfill the lusts there. What am I talking about? Well, you remember Joseph in the Old Testament. He was in the house alone With the married woman and she began to make advances on him. He didn't even do anything wrong He ran away, but what happened he ended up going to jail Being accused of committing adultery and being accused of rape of attempted rape he didn't do anything wrong But he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and he shouldn't have even been there Shouldn't even mess with it. You know I a lot of times. I'll be in situations where I'll be Forced to be alone with a woman I say no, you know I can't do it I'll tell people you know we got to have somebody else here. You know we picked her up before the service I brought brother Dave with me I Mean I don't mess with it with anybody. You know I don't make I don't make exceptions with that. You know we We keep it We keep it Just safe by being in public by being in you know with with another person there Okay, because I don't want somebody to see me driving around town with some other woman, okay? I don't want people to start saying things about me. You don't know what's gonna happen It's just a good idea to stay away from situations like that now when you're dating a lot of people again They have a little bit strange ideas about this and they believe in what's called chaperone dating okay now good night Chaperone dating okay, how are you gonna date? How are you gonna get to know somebody? With bringing somebody along all the time now. I'm not I'm not saying that that's what you should be doing I mean think about this when I was dating my wife, okay? I can't imagine sitting across the table for my wife at some restaurant somewhere With some other guy there some other girl there. You know mom and dad are there with us every time You know it's not gonna work. You know you got to get to know somebody You know you're trying to date somebody But at the same time you don't want to make provision for the flesh to fulfill the lust up Hey, you ought not when you're dating. I'm talking about to a single person dating. You ought not just have girls over to your house You know it's just you and them in the house. Just sitting around. You know doing. Oh, we're just having dinner Yeah, but you know what that's not a safe situation to be in you're opening yourself up to the lust of the flesh You know the Bible says in 1st Corinthians 6 18 flee fornication run away from you know get away from it And I'm going to tell you something you get in a position where it's just you and her in the house somewhere It's just you and her off secluded by yourself somewhere. You know you're in a dangerous situation You should not do that because you're just asking for trouble You're just asking to fall into sin, and when you say pastor answer will you allow your kids to do that? I will not allow my kids. I will not allow my kids to be alone in some house somewhere Alone in some building somewhere. I won't do it But I do want them to still be able to to you know spend time with their with their You know whoever it is at the prospective spouse. You know they're dating so here. Here's here's a good idea Why don't you just go to a restaurant? There's all kinds of people around they don't know you you don't know them They're not listening to you. You know you can have some private time I'm not saying you shouldn't have private time, but you know go to public places is what I'm saying You got to be dating in public places. You ought not be dating behind closed doors somewhere And I'll be dating in some bedroom somewhere sitting around dating. Hey look you say well. I'm so strong Hey, let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall Pride goes before destruction and in haughty spirit before the fall the people are so prideful and arrogant say you know I can handle it I won't be tempted. I would never commit the awful sin of fornication You better watch out with that kind of a prideful arrogant attitude You better realize that you do have flesh and you do have a sinful nature and that you may be tempted to do something wrong or Somebody might say that you did something wrong when you didn't even do anything wrong think about that for a while And so the wise thing to do is to say you know what I'm always going to do my dating in Public places I'm going to date in public there are plenty of public places You know you can speak on the telephone, and then you can go date somewhere publicly you could go to a restaurant together You know you could be in a shopping center somewhere You could be in a park somewhere where there's plenty of people around where there's some kind of accountability of what's going on My kids will be allowed to date. You know a single dating You're not gonna have to go on these double dates with mom and dad all the time. You know I Don't even want to be there. You know then anyway the point is They're gonna be dating in public places. I'll tell you that right now You know they're gonna be dating in places where it's not just them in a secluded room some dark room somewhere It's in around talking. We're just talking. You know it's not it's not right because you're you're opening yourself up talk, and then you're putting yourself in a terrible situation and You're putting people in a situation to talk ill of you as well, and so I don't recommend that at all I'm against it, but I am also not promoting this chaperoned dating okay, where other people are there Monitoring you all the time. Hey look it. I hope that my kids want to live for God I hope they want to do what's right. I hope they don't need somebody just holding their hand their whole life I mean, I hope an adult doesn't need somebody to hold their hand nobody holds my hand Okay, you know nobody held my hand when I was 18 19 20 years old I didn't choose for myself to live for God But at the same time don't be stupid and think that you can just go in some secluded room somewhere with the opposite gender and Nothing bad is going to happen because you're so righteous and holy that you would never do anything like that You know you're married man. You're married woman. Hey, don't get in those positions either Don't be in some room somewhere with with some other man. You know in our world it You run into situations all the time where people will try to force you into these kind of situations Where they'll force you into a situation where you're just alone with some man in some house somewhere alone with a woman in some house Somewhere hey stay away from it. Just don't even mess with it because you don't want to go down that road You know you work with somebody of the opposite gender all the time better Well, you know be careful better keep the people keep them at arm's length You know they're they're women that I have to deal with in business You know one of my sister. Thank God, so that's not a problem But women that I deal with you know customers and other businesses that we deal with you know what? That's why I'm going to keep them right here. I'm not going to become a hey, buddy How you doing? You know we were at a restaurant yesterday That yesterday we're at a restaurant yesterday and The waiter walks up to another waitress and starts just giving her a massage Just giving her a back massage just massaging her all over her back and everything just right next to the table And I'm just like okay, whatever you know, but then and then he's coming and telling us. Oh, yeah, my wife This and that he's telling us all about his wife some other woman that he's married to and I'm thinking to myself good night Do you think his wife appreciates him massaging this waitress at work? Oh? Come on pastor Anderson you just have a dirty mind. No you're an idiot, okay? You'll never find me massaging if my wife finds look honey I'll tell you right now if you ever catch me massaging another woman. There is a problem. Okay. I'm just telling you that right now If I try to tell you that it was nothing it wasn't okay There is a problem, and if I ever catch you having some guy massage you on the shoulder. Hey. He's gonna be dead He'll have a problem is actually his loved ones are gonna. Have a problem identifying the body, okay? That's gonna be the problem and and so I'm just saying that's what the world thinks is normal is why I use that illustration You know we're at the restaurant nobody thinks anything of it him just giving this girl a massage Okay, well look we're not of this world Okay, we're of the the Bible world right here righteousness holiness Clean living okay, not pridefulness that says I can handle it. I can give girls massages at work all day long, honey It's none of your business because I'm so spiritual the flesh does not even bother me. Okay. That's a lie Okay, don't be prideful. Don't be arrogant know your limitations and understand the fact that you should not be putting yourself in those kind of Positions, and if you're all if you have to work with with men if you're a woman you have to work with men or vice-versa You're man you have to work with women all the time. Hey, just be careful. You know you know if you're single Hey, you know maybe those are some prospects for you, okay, but if they're married hate stay away from them Don't talk to them You know talk to them minimum, but I'm talking about don't sit down and have lunch with them Hey, let's go out to lunch so-and-so at the office. Oh, yeah, tell me all about your husband Let's sit down. Oh he doesn't listen to you very much. Oh, that's too bad. Oh, he hasn't hugged you this week That's really bad. You want me to give you a hug right now That's called it. That's where adultery comes from men and women oh My husband just doesn't listen. He never gives me a hug, but you know Steve at the office He and I can really talk he and I really relate to each other. You know he really listens to me He's nothing like my husband at home That's where adultery. Yeah, have you been have you been around this world at all? Do you know people that commit adultery did you know that happens every day? You know people commit adultery all the time I'm not making this stuff up. This isn't some pipe dream people start talking at the office And they start getting buddy-buddy with people at the office that are married to somebody else Or you're married to somebody else and your buddy-buddy at the office And then what happens is they end up committing adultery because one thing leads to another and so don't mess with it Don't even go down that road And you know personally also speaking about my kids and what my rules are going to be is my kids grow up I've already decided what my rules are going to be you know years before it's even necessary I'm not going to decide at the time Let me think no. I want to know in advance what the Bible teaches I want to know what I believe in advance, and you know what? I'm not going to have my kids dating when they're 11 years old, okay My kids not going to be dating when they're 11 and 12 years old I think that's ridiculous you go to but if you go to a sixth grade you go to an elementary school There will be dating in a public school right now You go to a Christian school in public school. You know sixth seventh eighth grade They're dating like crazy now am I against people dating in high school absolutely not because they're getting ready to get married in my mind I don't think they should be getting married when they're 30 years old and so you know they're 15 16 years old want to be Dating hey great because they can get married when they're you know 18 years old or whatever the law says you know and so I'm not against that at all But I don't think this step of little kids dating is healthy at all. I think it's just negative I think that it's just abusive is what it is And I think that a lot of weird things go on and so I think I would never let my kids date at that age I'll let them date when they're approaching it when they're approaching an age when they're when they're into adulthood You know they're 16 years old you know they're 15 16 years old and they're getting into the age when they're actually ready to start thinking about who they want to Get married to and so that's what I believe about the subject and it's something I've never really preached about before But I think it's something it's important to lay out what the Bible teaches You say well, there's a few points in there that I didn't agree with pastor Anderson. Well. That's fine, okay Well if you don't agree with what I preach on something, that's fine But I think that what I believe is based on the Bible. I think it's from the Bible Okay, now maybe some things that you don't agree with you know that's fine You you say the Bible on your own obviously and come to your own conclusions But I think it's clear that God is saying That you ought to get married to avoid all the foolishness that goes on and you ought to get married when you're young you got up kids when you're young and you ought to enjoy your own spouse versus having to go out and enjoy everybody else's spouse which is fornication and adultery and Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer Father I thank you so much for giving me guidelines to raise my children and Giving me warnings in the Bible to let me know that no matter how holy it's spiritual I think I am that I am a human being and that I need to make sure that I don't put myself in situations where I'm paddling around with married women Paddling around with other women when I married myself dear God Please just give those that are in the room wisdom so that they would not Get into sin dear God and not get into horrible situations where people are hurt and people's lives are ruined And God, please give me wisdom as I raise my own children that they would grow up and I pray that they would obey this sermon that they're hearing right now and and to understand that Getting married is a blessing who so ever find it who so finally the wife find it a good thing The Bible says obtain it the favor of the Lord God, please just give my children wisdom to choose the right kind of wife and God I pray that they would Safeguard themselves and God help me to safeguard them from being in positions where they're alone with the opposite gender where sin could go On but dear God help us all to heed the admonitions of the Bible