(Disclaimer: This transcript is auto-generated and may contain mistakes.)

Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Bring them in. Bring them in. Bring the wondering ones to Jesus. Out in the desert hear their cry. Out in the mountains wild and high. Hark! Tis the master speaks to thee. Grow by my sheep where'er they be. Bring them in. Bring them in. Bring them in from the fields of sin. Bring them in. Bring them in. Bring the wondering ones to Jesus. Thank you for singing. Alright, this time we'll go through our announcements together. If you don't have a bulletin, slip up your hand nice and high. We'll get to you with one. On the inside we have our service time. Sunday mornings at 1030 is our preaching service. Sunday nights at 6. Wednesday nights at 7 is our Bible study. This week we will be in Psalm 74. We've got the soul winning times listed there below as well as salvation and baptisms. Of course the cruise missions trip that I went on with Pastor Shelley this week was a great success. We went to the Bahamas. It's always just so receptive there. One of the great things about soul winning in the Bahamas too is that you're in the Bahamas. No, I'm just kidding. The cool thing that soul winning about in the Bahamas is that the people there are just genuinely interested in the things of God so that not only are they interested in just salvation, but they'll also just want to talk to you about the Bible. Sometimes I'll win people the Lord and then just kind of hang out and just continue to talk Bible with them and they'll be asking questions. I had people that got saved like tracking me down later. Hey, I got a Bible question and wanting to talk and wanting to learn. Then there were even some people that were just really wrong in their doctrine and I argued with them and showed them from the Bible and then they ended up coming over to the truth and getting saved. The interest is really genuine and so it's refreshing to be around especially young people that are really interested in the things of God. They really care about it and feel strongly about it. Number one best soul winning place I've ever been in my life and I've been a lot of places and done a lot of soul winning. We had a great time and got 76 people saved which is obviously a massive number so we're super thankful. Also, it's not in the bulletin, but I think I saw that there was also an online soul winning marathon yesterday with the video chat Soul Winning and I think that somebody had the stats on that. You guys spent like eight hours or something or what was it? Oh, eight people. Yeah, eight people soul winning on a marathon and got 55 people saved and so that was another big success and so good job to everybody who participated in that. Keep praying for our expectant ladies that they'll have a safe and healthy pregnancy and delivery. We've got the donations over here to my left not tonight, but typically on Wednesday nights we'll have a lot of great free food over there to take home so check that out. On the back we've got the note about the mother daughter tea party coming up. There are two different dates available so you pick the one that fits your schedule best. I don't think either of these is actually Mother's Day so it's just you pick the one that works for you and you celebrate on that day and of course it's free like all of our church activities are free but we do want you to RSVP and don't just RSVP flippantly and then just be like oh I might go and you know maybe I'll show up maybe I won't because obviously it does cost us money even though it's free to you it's still somebody's paying for everything right? So make sure that you RSVP according to the instructions and take that seriously. Below that other upcoming events of course the crew is heading out this Saturday and Sunday for their mission strip to the Bahamas led by Brother Segura. That group right now is about 25 people strong and so I'm really excited about that pray that everything goes well logistically. It should because the logistics are kind of a no brainer on these things which is part of why it's cool but we just want to pray that everything works out because man if everything works out and falls into place and everything goes smoothly you know I believe a great work for God is going to be done in those you know 5-6 days of this cruise I think it's going to be a big one and so I'm excited about that be praying for them that it goes well and then let's see what else have we got other upcoming events Pastor Mejia is coming to preach in April and that's about it for announcements let's go ahead and just quickly count up the soul winning from the last few days so anything from Thursday to report from Thursday gotcha ok ok anything else from Thursday ok Thursday Thursday how about Friday ok gotcha ok anything else from Friday and then Saturday Saturday was that marathon that we just mentioned so we'll go ahead and log that figure anything outside of that marathon that we just mentioned ok and then what about today Sunday ok got it ok I got you back there ok ok is that a 1 Ramon ok alright and then gotcha main group with brother Scott brother 8 for brother Scott's group and then ok gotcha alright anything else from today very good keep up the great work on soul winning with that let's sing our next song come lead us say that thou art thou my best but my day or my night craving or sleeping thy presence my light be thou my wisdom and thou my true world I ever and now or my father my son now well and I one be thou my battle shield for my mind be thou my dignity thou my delight thou my soul shelter thou my might be ever the whole power of my heart which is I need not more than any grace thou my inerrant is now and always thou and only first in my heart thy king of heaven thy treasure thou art thy king of heaven thy victory thine may I reach heaven's joys thy heaven's sun heart of my own heart whatever befall still be my vision all ruler of all man good singing everybody turn to hymn 394 to the work hymn 394 we'll begin that verse together to the work to the word we are serpents of God hymn 394 sing it out together now to the work to the work we are serpents of God let us follow the path that our master has done with the hope of his count for strength to renew let us do with our mind what our hands find with you toiling on toiling on toiling on toiling on let us walk let us watch and labor till the master comes to the work let the hungry be fed to the fountain of life let the weary be led in the cross and its manner our glory shall be while we tear all the night salvation is free toiling on toiling on toiling on toiling on let us follow let us walk let us labor till the master comes to the work to the work there is labor for all for the kingdom of darkness and error shall flow and the name of trouble life's office shall be in the loud swelling forest salvation is free toiling on toiling on toiling on let us walk let us watch and labor till the master comes to the work to the work in the strength of the Lord and the Rome and the crown shall our labor reward when the home of the faithful our dwelling shall be and we shall with our hands the salvation is free toiling on toiling on toiling on toiling on toiling on let us walk let us walk and labor till the master comes man, good thing tonight alright, this time we'll pass our offering plates around, as the plates go around let's turn our bibles to Titus chapter 2 Titus chapter number 2 Titus chapter 2 but speak thou the things which become sound doctrine, that the aged men be sober grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience the aged women likewise that they be in behavior as becometh holiness not false accusers not given to much wine teachers of good things that they may teach the young women to be sober to love their husbands, to love their children to be discreet, chaste keepers at home, good obedient to their own husbands that the word of God be not blasphemed young men likewise exhort to be sober minded and all things showing thyself a pattern of good works and doctrine showing uncorruptness gravity, sincerity sound speech that cannot be condemned that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed having no evil thing to say of you exhort servants to be obedient unto their own masters and to please them well in all things, not answering again not prolonging but showing all good fidelity that they may adorn the doctrine of God our savior in all things for the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men teaching us that denying ungodliness and worldly lusts we should live soberly, righteously and godly in this present world looking for that blessed hope and the glorious appearing of the great God and our savior Jesus Christ who gave himself for us that he might redeem us from all iniquity and purify unto himself a peculiar people zealous of good works these things speak and exhort and rebuke with all authority let no man despise thee Amen Dear heavenly father Lord we just thank you Lord for bringing us here tonight to hear your word to sing praises to your name we thank you Lord for your word we thank you for your salvation that you've given to all of us we thank you for the preaching tonight Lord that you bring to us and we just ask that you bless the pastor and let him bring it to us with boldness in your name man this evening I'm preaching on the subject of a biblical marriage a biblical marriage marriage is one of the most rewarding relationships that we have in our lives but at the same time it can also be one of the most challenging relationships that we have in our lives and it's also probably the longest lasting relationship that you know hopefully is going to exist in our lives and so because it's so important it's so fulfilling but yet it's so difficult sometimes we want to make sure that we are following the Bible's prescription on how to have the right kind of marriage people have all kinds of ideas all kinds of books have been written and people have their ideas and thoughts and philosophies that all contradict one another at the end of the day what the Bible says is the final authority and the Bible thankfully does have several clear passages on this in the New Testament that needs to be the foundation of how we have a marriage is build it on the word of God and build it on clear Scripture now Ephesians 5 is the big one but before we go to Ephesians 5 we're right here in Titus chapter 2 and he starts out in verse number 1 saying but speak thou the things which become sound doctrine become there means that they are suitable for or appropriate for sound doctrine okay things that go well with sound doctrine right because we want to believe the right doctrines about Jesus Christ and about all of the things with salvation and end times and all those things but we also want to have a life that lines up with good doctrine by having a life that is also in accordance with God's word not just sort of what's the word I'm looking for like theoretical type things but the actual practical realities of you know being a husband being a child being a worker doing all the things that we do just every day or Monday through Friday in our lives and so he goes on to give advice to the aged men the young men the aged women the young women so he's kind of hitting all these different demographics uh and when he gets to the end of this he says in verse 15 these things speak and exhort and rebuke with all authority let no man despise thee and what he means there by let no man despise thee is hey don't let anybody give you any guff for teaching what the Bible says right because this is Paul talking to his young protege in the ministry Paul's the mentor and he's training guys like Timothy and Titus younger guys and he's saying look preach what the Bible says without apology correct people that need to be corrected on this and don't let anybody give you any garbage about it is what the Bible says right these things speak and exhort and rebuke with all authority let no man despise thee he says and so today in 2025 the Bible's teachings on this subject are not necessarily on vogue but yet we need to preach the word instant in season and out of season reprove rebuke exhort exhort with all long suffering and doctrine the Bible does not change and so when it comes to these foundational fundamental things of marriage they don't change either okay while we're here in Titus chapter 2 we're going to go over to the main marriage passage over to Ephesians 5 but first in Titus 2 look what the Bible says in verse number 3 and remember he's giving advice to these various demographics and so he says to the aged women that they likewise be in behavior as becometh holiness and again this is the definition of the word become like goes well with or suits or fits it's appropriate right so they need to behave in a way appropriate to holiness not false accusers not given to much wine teachers of good things that they may teach the young women to be sober to love their husbands to love their children to be discreet chaste keepers at home good obedient to their own husbands that the word of God be not blasphemed so right away in this passage we can get a few foundational truths about marriage that are not necessarily that popular today but in this passage it very clearly says that women are supposed to be those who love their husbands love their children they're supposed to be discreet chaste and keepers at home right and what does it mean to be a keeper at home well this is like the term that we have in English housekeeping ok the word keep there is sort of like where God told Adam when he's in the garden of Eden to dress and keep the garden right keep there means to take care of right and also you remember that elsewhere Paul says that they're to guide the house and that's kind of a parallel thought here keeping the house or guiding the house basically means they're running things in the home taking care of the home they're home making is what we would call this in 2025 that's what it means when it says that they should be keepers at home it means that they're taking care of the house and the household because traditionally men are going to be out working making money and then who's left at home the wife and she's there running things right making sure that everybody's doing what they're supposed to do make sure the kids are doing their chores if there are any household servants that they're doing their chores make sure that everything's going smoothly everyone's being fed everything's staying clean and tidy and nice this is good home making skills right cleaning cooking organization having everybody on a schedule and so you know the woman does have authority in the home but she doesn't have authority over her husband right she is she is the husband's lieutenant and so when he's gone she's running everything and taking care of everything and it could be a big responsibility especially if you have a big household and so that's the job that's the responsibility that she loves her husband loves her children she's discreet chased and a keeper at home meaning that she takes care of the house and doesn't neglect it right how great of a marriage do you think you're going to have ladies if you're neglecting the household right everything's thrashed everything's filthy there's just dirty laundry everywhere dirty dishes everywhere it's unsanitary the bathroom's trashed right that's not really what men necessarily want to come home to after a hard day's work that's not really what their workplace or their office or work truck necessarily looks like and then they come home and it's just thrashed and then you got the wife she's sitting on the couch and she's got a tub of ice cream in her lap and she's just eating it right out of the carton and she's watching Days of Our Lives or she's doing a that's an outdated reference she's binge watching some series on Netflix or something right it'd be like the more updated version of that you know and obviously you know part of marriage is that both parties in the marriage are doing their job right if the man is supposed to be the breadwinner and the wife is supposed to be the keeper at home well how are things going to go with your husband if he's not paying the bills right this is going to cause marriage problems a man who doesn't go to work a man who is just perennially unemployed and just constantly fooling around not serious about earning not serious about his career or making money and then the family does without you know they're not able to pay the bills they don't have what they need boy that's going to hurt the marriage if the man's not doing his job and then likewise if the woman's not doing her job well then he's not going to be happy to come home everything's trashed no plan for dinner no plan for breakfast no plan for lunch it's just you know warm up another frozen you know hungry man TV dinner or whatever so the first thing I want to point out about having a biblical marriage is that according to Titus chapter 2 the ideal plan here is that the woman is a keeper at home and obviously the reverse is true the husband's out there making a living and then everybody's in their proper role men are doing their job working hard bringing home the bacon and then the wife is at home taking care of the house making sure things go smoothly cooking cleaning caring for the children and that's a big job it's a difficult job but it's a rewarding job and so everybody's in their proper role now it also says here that women are to be discreet okay what does this mean discreet okay it basically means that they know what is appropriate to say and what is appropriate not to say right that's discretion so they're not just blowing off their mouths and just gossiping and being a busy body about other men's matters or just saying embarrassing things about their husband is frankly when you live with someone you're gonna know every negative thing about that person especially a husband and wife right and so discretion says hey I don't just say everything about my loved ones that I live with right I'm not just gonna just publicly say things to embarrass my wife and especially wives should not be publicly saying things to embarrass their husband they need to have discretion and also not talking about things that are inappropriate assorted that are you know not seemly or becoming of women to talk about and so it says they're to be discreet chaste obviously pure not committing adultery that kind of goes without saying keepers at home and then it says good obedient to their own husbands that the word of God be not blasphemed now look the Bible is crystal clear that wives are supposed to be obedient to their husbands and again this doesn't fly in 2025 right this is the exact opposite of what the world out there is gonna teach you but let no man despise you Titus wives are to be obedient to their own husbands right because there is a chain of command in the Bible that the wife is to obey her husband and the Bible says that the wife is to obey her husband so that the word of God doesn't get blasphemed according to the Bible it gives Christianity a bad name when you have wives disobeying their husbands wives refusing to submit to their husbands loud mouth women who are not in subjection to their own husbands gives Christianity a bad name but here's what's funny we got a bunch of people teaching the opposite today saying that I'm giving Christianity a bad name by preaching that wives have to obey their husbands and that men are to rule their houses so if I say the man rules his castle and the wife is to submit to her husband I'm supposedly turning people away from Christianity it's funny the Bible taught the exact opposite you know and I would like to see a Bible verse that says hey authoritarian husbands turn people away from Christ I would like to see that verse it isn't there but yet this feminist garbage does cause the name of God to be blasphemed and that's why throughout the world many cultures like Hindus and Muslims you know they'll talk down on Christianity and criticize Christianity because of all the feminism that we've allowed to creep in and it's an embarrassment to the whole world and so I want to make sure that we have this biblical foundation of men and women in their proper roles and wives obeying their husbands ok that's the way the home is supposed to work now go if you would to Ephesians chapter 5 Ephesians chapter 5 and look I understand that some people's living situation is different than this you know unfortunately we don't live in a perfect world and so not everyone is going to have that perfect ideal family situation where you got the husband going to work paying all the bills you got the wife staying home taking care of the kids running the house but this is the ideal that the Bible sets forth and it's what we should strive for it should be our world view that this is the norm this is what God has ordained for the family and we dead sure need to understand the chain of command in marriage that the husband is the head of the wife as the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 11 look at Ephesians chapter 5 and again we're not even turning to 1 Corinthians 11 but I just said it, it says the husband's the head of the wife right just as Christ is the head of the church and the head of Christ is God you know and so that's what the Bible says and so it's very clear the chain of command there but look at the Bible in Ephesians chapter 5 verse 22 this is the most classic marriage passage in the Bible that's the longest and most clear teaching on marriage in the Bible and it says in Ephesians chapter 5 verse 22 wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the savior of the body therefore as the church is subject unto Christ so let the wives be to their own husbands in certain areas is that what it says it says in everything and here's what's funny people are like you're teaching this to extreme you're taking this I mean what is the Bible literally says everything how do you go further than that oh yeah well everything and a little more stuff too you can't really go beyond everything can you no you can't and so this is what the Bible teaches it says that as the church is subject to Christ so the wives are to be under their own husbands in everything now stop and think about this we would say as a church that Christ is the boss amen I mean do we just kind of do whatever we want and say hey Jesus thank you for dying on the cross thank you for rising again thank you for purchasing our salvation but we'll take it from here Jesus and we're going to run this institution it's a great institution that you founded the church but we're going to sort of run it the way we want to run it and some of your teachings are a little outdated so we're going to sort of just do things in a more 2025 approach you know that you'd say that's horrible you'd say no Jesus didn't just found the church he's also the head of the church and so he's the boss and obviously Jesus Christ is not physically here running the church but we've got the Bible here representing the mind of Christ his will his word thus sayeth the Lord so this is the instruction manual for how to run the church so how submitted are we to the Bible as a church how submitted are we to Christ as the head of the church we'd say well in everything I mean you know whatever he says we're going to say okay he's the boss well that's literally what the Bible says that wives are to be submitting to their husbands the way that the church submits to Christ these are very strong statements here you know making it very clear that there's definitely a chain of command and that it's not a situation where uh you know men and women are just both kind of calling the shots in a marriage or in a home or in a family I mean it's just simply not what the Bible teaches and again you're probably I know you're probably a lot smarter than God and smarter than the Bible and smarter than Jesus and smarter than me but you know this is what the Bible says and so you know I would just go with it because maybe you're not as smart as you think but the Bible says here uh that wives are to obey their husbands be subject unto their husbands submit to their husbands then he follows up with advice for the husbands he says husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word that he might present it to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blemish so stop and think about this the Bible's saying that husbands are to love their wives and this is also a very strong statement as Christ loved the church how did Christ love the church well the Bible says greater love hath no man than this than that a man lay down his life for his friends right that's the ultimate sign of love where you'd be willing to die for someone take a bullet for someone that's the greatest love and the Bible is saying that that's the kind of selfless love we are supposed to have for our wives as husbands where we would be willing to take a bullet for them anytime anywhere we should be ready to die for our wives that's how much we should love them that's a lot of love okay so therefore this kind of leadership that we're supposed to practice as husbands is supposed to be a selfless leadership even though we are the boss even though we're the one making the rules it's not so that we can just selfishly have someone to just wait on us hand and foot but rather it is so that we can provide our wives and our children with the best life that we can possibly provide the best godly leadership you know the best home that we can provide and so we're out there working hard not just so that we can spend up all the money on our own fun and just kind of leave her to scrounge and scrape and not have what she needs you know we're out there providing for her right want to make things nice for her we want to be good to her because god is in heaven giving us all these blessings and Christ has given the church all these gifts so we want to also take care of our wives love them sacrifice for them be good to them be unselfish but what's interesting here is that it says as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it we understand that it's talking about him dying on the cross but then it also says that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word that he might present it to himself a glorious church so we see that Christ's mission in dying on the cross for us in coming to this earth and being the lamb of god to take away the sin of the world it was not only just to save us spiritually but also to purify unto himself a peculiar people zealous of good works right which is why the great commission yes it's to preach the gospel to every creature yes it's to baptize people in the name of the father of the son and the holy ghost but then it's also to teach them to observe all things whatsoever Christ commanded us we're supposed to teach the whole bible because again Christ came not just to save us spiritually but also to show unto us a more excellent way to give us an example that we could follow in his steps and so if you think about that in regard to marriage it's saying look Christ died for the church Christ is married to the church metaphorically speaking okay why so that he can basically take the church to the destination spiritually where they need to be you know he's gonna get them to be the best possible church that they can be that's the goal that's why the church runs the way it does that's why the word of God's been given to us to edify us to strengthen us to purify us to make us better okay and so the kind of right spiritual leadership that a husband should provide is taking his wife in the right direction spiritually taking her to a right destination you know and here's the thing the sad thing is that there are a lot of homes where the wife ends up being the spiritual leader because sometimes the husband just doesn't really care about the things of God and then the wife kind of steps in and she kind of sets the tone and she's the one saying hey let's go to church hey let's read the Bible hey let's get more involved in witnessing or missions trips or soul winning or the things of God right and it's a shame because what we'd rather see is rather see men you know giving a rip about the things of God and we want to see men stepping up to the plate and leading the home spiritually and saying hey we want to go to this church and we're going to read this Bible and this is the kind of Christianity we're going to do and actually providing strong godly leadership to take the family in a right direction see obviously God ordained this thing of marriage to be a blessing to everybody involved right it's supposed to when it works right it's a blessing to everybody right you know the wife she loves it because number one she's got a meal ticket you know what I mean she's got somebody putting food on the table I mean what's bad about that right who wants to be out there you know trying to make money and doing all this stuff right hey isn't it nice to be able to stay home it's a luxury to be able to be a stay at home wife stay at home mother so what does she get out of this deal hey she gets to stay home and do something meaningful she can spend her time doing stuff that she wants to do spending time with the kids working on her own house rather than somebody else's house right because you know what's funny is that there are women who go and clean other people's houses Molly made, Mary made right they're cleaning you know hey wouldn't you rather clean your own house than to be just going and cleaning everybody else's toilet look I'm not saying cleaning a toilet is ever fun but it's a lot more fun to clean your own toilet than to clean strangers toilets you know I remember one time we got out of the car and uh my one of my siblings stepped in dog do and and and they said well at least I just hope it was our dog you know you know what I mean and it was kind of funny because it's like I don't know if our dogs do is really that much cleaner than somebody else's dogs do you know but I'd rather be cleaning my own toilet than a public toilet right and and here's the thing is that you know everybody works in this world you know it's like you're either going to be working for yourself or you're going to be working for other people hey the wife marriage what does it do for her it provides her with a bread winner so she can stay home and she can run the household keep it nice make it how she wants it make a nice atmosphere and it's all paid for you know my wife does not worry about how to pay the bills you know in the last 25 years that we've been married she's never getting the money together to pay the house payment she's she's making a face like what is what are you talking about house payment that's not my problem because it's never been her problem you know she doesn't have to worry about the electricity bill the water bill she just doesn't you know all she has to worry about is just saving up for her next little trip or whatever fun thing you know that she wants to do right she doesn't have to worry and stress she just knows that the bills are just paid they're just magically paid by moi okay and so that's what the wife gets out of this relationship you know obviously she also gets leadership meaning that she doesn't have to stress and worry about making big decisions for the family because big decisions can kind of be stressful you don't really know what's the right decision you know at least the buck doesn't really stop with her because there's someone else making that final decision and when it all goes wrong you know it's his fault because he's the one who has to make that decision so you know we as men as leaders we have that responsibility of having to make those decisions whereas what do wives get to do they get to stay home they get to enjoy they get to spend time with their kids not be dropping off their kids with other people cleaning somebody else's toilet cooking somebody else's food answering somebody else's phone they can answer their own phone answer their own door take care of their own little kingdom at home and not have to worry about where the bills are coming from and then big decisions well they just leave that on their husband you know so if this thing is working the way it's supposed to that's a pretty sweet gig for them okay and then on the flip side what does the husband get out of this deal well he gets to have the household all taken care of and he can just focus on his career and his job and go out and work hard and then he just comes home and there's food just like for her the bills are magically paid for me food is magically cooked and appearing on the table clothing is magically clean and it's just back on the hanger you know it's just clean it's just on the hanger it's just this endless cycle and I don't even do anything and it's just done you know I get to enjoy the house with a woman's touch you ever walk into someone's house and you can just instantly tell a woman does not live here you know because it just it lacks that female touch right it's a lot nicer to walk into a house where there's a woman living there and kind of put a little woman's touch on things you know because as a dude you know we're not going to go out and buy these little decorations and stuff but we kind of like them to be there we don't want to put them there we don't want to buy that you know we're not going to hang that stuff but like you know you kind of want it to be there though you want somebody else to do it otherwise you end up with just this really like bleak stark like white walls man cave type of atmosphere and so women are making a pleasant home they're keeping the home they're taking care of the kids they're cooking the food they're cleaning the place up so that you can focus on being you know someone who reaches your full potential in your in your job in your career both people out of this marriage are getting companionship friendship right someone to talk to someone to hang out with someone who understands what you're going through and someone that you can really be intimate with and really share details and get to know this is where the discretion comes in right because obviously when you're really close you're going to know all the faults of one another and you know obviously you don't want to go around making your spouse look bad by telling everybody their faults you want to keep that discreet and not be inappropriate with the things that you share because look nobody wants to live with the KJB in their house you know nobody wants to feel like they're living in East Germany under communism and they just have you know they don't know who is the mailman spying on me is my neighbor a spy you know uh my neighbor's here tonight you know he's not spying on me no I'm just kidding but anyway the point is that you know we don't want to feel like we're being watched and spied and so therefore you know we want to be able to be open around our family kind of let our hair down around our family and know that they're going to have the discretion and the good sense not to go around just telling all of our private details to the whole stinking world amen? you know want to have discretion and so back to the text here it says that the husband is supposed to love the wife with this supreme sacrificial love that Christ had to the point where he's willing to go to the cross you know that's how much we should love our wives be ready to take a bullet for our wives right? love them but not only just love them in that sense of being a protector but also love them by providing the leadership that's going to get them to the destination spiritually of really fulfilling their Christian calling as ladies and you know what's so funny is that over the last 20 years of pastoring and even before I started being a pastor I cannot even count how many women I've had say to me man I wish that my husband would tell me what to do I wish that my husband would actually lead the family spiritually I wish that he would actually make some rules in our house or lay down the law a little bit on things or you know at least tell me what he wants me to do or or tell me what we should do you know a lot of women are actually craving leadership from their husband because that's what the husband's supposed to provide leadership have you ever shown up at a job and nobody's telling you what to do and it makes you really uncomfortable right? have you ever been at a job site and you're just like you're kind of standing there you're trying to look busy but like nobody's really giving you a clear directive and you ask hey what are we supposed to I don't know what are we supposed to be doing and nobody knows and you're really awkward and uncomfortable you know I remember when I went to Germany as an 18 year old I stayed with a bunch of different pastors and some of these pastors like kept me really busy and gave me work to do and they had a plan like okay here's what we're gonna do go do this and I had this one pastor that I stayed with on that first trip and this guy worked me hard okay uh his name was Pastor Thomas Hastings okay and he was a great guy loved staying with him but man alive we worked hard like I remember it was just six days of just long days morning through night it was almost like you know you think of people going to prison and being sentenced to hard labor because he literally had me breaking rock okay you can imagine that so like this is where I was in Germany things aren't built the way they're built here everything's like a thousand years old there so you have these buildings where the walls are like this thick and it's just rock just stone so basically there's just this super thick stone wall and they were working on building a new auditorium for the church and he just walks up and he just outlines a door he just draws a door and says okay put a door there and then put a window here so I had three different tools to do this I had number one a jackhammer but usually when you think about a jackhammer you're using it on the ground you see people tearing up the ground with a jackhammer but when you're holding the jackhammer up and jackhammer horizontally it's pretty tiring okay and then I had a sledgehammer just swinging a sledgehammer and then I had like a little hammer and a chisel so I would like drill the chisel and make these holes to create like weak points and then I would like swing a big sledgehammer and try to break it and beat it and then I'd get out the jackhammer and we did a bunch of other stuff but that was one of the things I did and you know we were pouring concrete we're putting in all this rebar we're just doing all this really hard construction work and you know just morning to night so I did this Monday through Saturday then on Sunday we go to church in the morning and in the afternoon man you know what I wanted to do on Sunday afternoon man I just wanted to just lay in bed until the evening it's like get me up when it's time for the evening service I'm just laying in bed the pastor comes into my room I'm in bed in the afternoon and he says hey we got to go do visitation we got to go visit some people and I said hey I hope you don't mind I'm just going to sit this one out and he's like nope you're coming with me I'm like okay and I just dragged myself out of bed and this guy worked me to the bone but you know what's funny is when I went back to Germany the second time the first time I stayed with like five six different pastors when I went back the second time I spent all of my time with that guy one hundred percent because I hate myself no I'm just kidding no but the reason the reason I spent all my time with that guy is because you know what I said to myself when I was with that guy I knew what to do and I felt useful and I felt like there was a purpose in me being there and that I was actually doing something meaningful and helping him out whereas a lot of people just had nothing for me to do they're not giving me any instructions you know so even though the work was a little harder than my eighteen year old self would have really chosen you know I went back and worked with that guy again because I was like you know and the food was good that was the main thing his wife was an amazing cook but I just kept working with that guy because at least I like the fact that this guy is at least telling me what to do and giving me a job and making me feel useful making me feel like I have a purpose now that was obviously kind of an extreme example of doing like hard labor as a like a prison convict but the point is that like you know I even as a young man I liked being in a situation where I knew what to do and there was structure and there's a plan and so and you know what's so funny you see all these young people joining the military you know they just they're just looking for someone to give them some direction or tell them what to do and so forth and again you know it's not necessarily the smartest idea but that's what they do okay and the point is and you know it's funny you even see a lot of girls joining the military you know I was at the airport the other day there's all these female soldiers and stuff you know you know they're just I guess dad didn't tell them what to do or whatever but the point is that you know there's something to be said for being in a situation where you at least know what the rules are you know where you stand you know what to do you know what needs to be done and there are women out there that are just craving for their husband to take a lead and obviously they don't want their husband to be a slave driver I'm not saying that for one second they don't want to be alright here's a hammer honey you know jail swung a hammer so can you you know that's not what they're looking for but what they do want though is at least they want a husband that says hey you know this is our Bible reading plan or this is where we're going to go to church or this is you know what we believe and just really at least laying down some things and teaching the family and guiding the family and providing some leadership and saying hey this is you know here's the most annoying thing right you know hey honey what do you want me to make for dinner oh I don't know I don't care you know if my wife asks me what I want to have for dinner I'm going to tell her what I want you know like I can tell her exactly the food that I want to eat and she doesn't have to wonder what I want to eat and what I don't want to eat I'm just going to tell her and that's a silly example but the bottom line is that the husband's job is to provide leadership okay it's not just oh the husband's in charge that means he just gets what he wants and it's his way or the highway that's true but at the same time the flip side of that is that he's also supposed to provide like a plan right I mean think about think about like the President of the United States the President of the United States lives in a fancy house called the White House and I'm not even saying specifically Donald Trump because he obviously he already has his own fancy house and everything I'm saying like every president who's ever been a president they get to be in the White House they get to fly in Air Force One they get to have chefs cooking them five star meals you think that Donald Trump has to figure out what he's going to eat you think he's just like scrounging the cupboards like you know uh Yvonne what's his name Yvonne or Ivanka Ivanka he's like hey Ivanka what's for lunch man what's going on oh that's a daughter what the heck you lied to me what's her actual name Melania wow that was way off ok sorry alright sorry sorry uh sorry Mr. President if you're watching he usually tunes into all my sermons so he usually watches them live is the way it works because the time change it works out perfectly for him but anyway Melania he's not going to be sitting there well he might be asking his daughter to raid the fridge too because my daughters make me food all the time too but you know hey Melania what's going on where's dinner where's lunch you know they've got all these chefs doing all that they've got chefs they've got the private jet he's got the security detail I mean if he I guarantee he's got all kinds of personal assistants and people that'll just fetch him whatever he needs take care of whatever he needs but you know what we expect in return we expect him to do something to lead something to build something to make things happen we want him busy working for us and then he gets those perks what we don't want is like Louis the 14th or something right we don't want Marie Antoinette basically just living in all this luxury hey it's good to be the king or something it's good to be the queen but then they're not actually doing anything for the people am I right? so the point is we don't want to be you know in our home just a leader who's just self serving but rather a leader who's leading the most important leadership is spiritual leadership you know and setting the tone caring about the things of God talking about the things of God laying down some principles for how the family's gonna run according to the word of God knowing the Bible and taking the family in a good direction helping the wife become more spiritual helping the children become more spiritual that should be the goal providing leadership not just oh obey me cause I'm the boss but obey me cause I'm the boss now let me take you to a great destination you know I mean look it's the same thing and so the Bible says that he might sanctify it and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word that he might present it to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blemish and so part of what Christ is doing with the church is trying to get the church to be less sinful and more godly isn't that part of the goal like we should be getting sin out of our lives we should be living clean lives doing right and so also as a husband we should be trying to get sin out of our family making sure that our family is living a clean and godly life and so not just letting anything go in our house as men morally speaking not just letting anything go not just letting the teenage daughters just wear anything and just not letting people drink in the home or take drugs or fornicate or shoplifting you know we gotta we gotta quash all those things and say not in my house as for me and my house we will serve the Lord that's what the Bible says and so that's part of the idea here that men are to lead so that they can purify and sanctify and present a church without spot or wrinkle you know present a family that is doing right not a family where anything goes okay and so men as husbands and fathers do in a sense need to be somewhat authoritarian meaning that there has to be authority you can't just be this guy that just lets anything go that's not leadership okay and obviously yeah people can take this too far and become too authoritarian anything can be taken to an extreme you know anything can be an unbiblical extreme but in general though men do need to be somewhat of an authoritarian in their home and lay down some rules lay down the law and enforce some things that's just obvious and it's what the Bible teaches so it says so ought men to love their wives verse 28 as their own bodies he that loveth his wife loveth himself for no man ever yet hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it even as the Lord the church for we're members of his body and of his flesh and of his bones so if you look at this passage where it says men ought to love their wives as their own bodies right what it's saying here is that you know we have a sense of self-preservation about our bodies you know like if someone asks you to hold your finger in a candle or something you're instinctively just going to jerk your finger right out of that candle as soon as it starts to burn because we don't have the ability to harm ourselves in many ways like if I just tried to fall flat on my face right now my arms would catch me my brain would say no you're going to protect yourself if you get hungry you're going to feed yourself if you're thirsty you're going to drink it's instinctive and the Bible is saying that we ought to love our wives as we love our own bodies meaning the way that we take care of the needs of our body we should take care of our wife's needs in the same way right we should be just as cognizant of the fact that she needs something to eat she needs something to drink and we should just have that same instinct to protect her take care of her nourish her cherish her if we would do that for ourselves we should do that for her right we love our neighbor as our self and we love our wives as we love our own bodies and then it says this it says he that loveth his wife loveth himself and what does that mean he that loveth his wife loveth himself he's saying here look if you take care of your wife you're really taking care of yourself because if you take care of your wife you're going to live a better life too I mean what do you think is going to make a happier marriage the guy who takes care of his wife nourishes and cherishes her or the guy who's just in it for himself and not taking care of her he's saying look by loving her you're actually loving yourself you know you're taking care of her and in the process you're happier everybody's happier and I think that's the thing that a lot of people miss when we talk about marriage especially the feminazis don't understand this is that marriage is not a zero sum game marriage is not a zero sum game where it's a battle to you know if I get more she gets less and if she gets more I get less and I got to make sure I get my share that's called a zero sum game no marriage can be a win win a win win where we both do better if we're both taking care of each other you know if I'm doing my part and she's doing her part everybody's going to be happier the wife who obeys and submits to her husband she's not just making her husband happy she's making herself happy and the husband who loves his wife who is beneficial, nourishes and cherishes, you know what he's going to be happier too he's actually just taking care of himself being nice to your wife is being nice to yourself being a jerk to your wife you're really being a jerk to yourself you're shooting yourself in the foot you're cutting off your nose to spite your face and so I love that statement he that loveth his wife loveth himself and really it's just a statement of fact like come on guys, duh if you take care of your wife everybody's going to be happier, including you why would you want to create an unhappy situation in your home by not taking care of your wife not loving your wife and so it says in verse 29 for no man ever yet hated his own flesh and this kind of goes back to what I was saying about how it's almost impossible for us to hurt ourselves because we have that instinct to not hate our own flesh but to nourish and cherish it even as the Lord the church verse 30 so in this final verse we have sort of a final statement just summarizing everything I went through all these different verses about the man's responsibility the wife's responsibility and the synopsis is this in verse 33 that the wives are supposed to reverence their husband that's like their main duty and what is reverence? it is respect right? but it's more than just respect it's a stronger word than respect it's really to honor and respect them, to revere them right? to reverence the husband and so look, if you're always just mouthing off and disrespecting your husband you know, you're not reverencing him when you make light of him you're constantly mocking him, talking down to him that's not reverence, right? so the main thing that the wife needs to do is reverence her husband and the main thing that the husband needs to do is to love his wife right? so the main thing that husbands do, love your wife now obviously she is supposed to love her husband back that was in Titus 2 and obviously the husband is supposed to honor his wife as the weaker vessel, the husband should respect his wife, but the main thing, the big important thing if you only get one thing is husbands love your wives wives reverence your husband, therefore if a wife is talking and acting respectfully to her husband she's not doing the main thing she's in breach of the main commandment to wives reverence your husband right? so if you're mocking him making fun of him, treating him with disrespect, he tries to tell you what to do and you don't take him seriously and you laugh at him and despise his authority, you are in violation of the big thing, just as a husband who just doesn't love his wife you'd say, oh man, that's horrible what if a man just said, I don't love my wife you'd be like, that's horrible that's a shocking, horrible thing to say, that's terrible well it's just as terrible if a wife said, I don't reverence my husband but today this is what women will say, well I don't respect my husband because he's just not very respectable ok, well then you can just say I don't love my wife because she's not very loveable but then again, that's not what the Bible says, it doesn't say love the loveable and respect the respectable it says respect your husband, period love your wife, period ok and so there aren't exceptions to this you know, you're married you want to have a good marriage, you as a wife don't wait for him to make the first move and you as a husband don't wait for her to make the first move cause I guarantee you there are marriages out there where both parties have failed on this, where the husband is not loving his wife like he should and the wife is not reverencing the husband like she could, and it's kind of like you know, it's like they're standing out there high noon, and they got you know, and it's like, who's gonna draw first you know, and it's just like you know, who's gonna, who's gonna don't wait for the other person to make the first move you make the first move right, you don't have to wait for your husband to love you to start reverencing him and you don't have to wait for your wife to start reverencing you to start loving her and sacrificing for her and doing good under her nourishing and cherishing her, you make the first move, flip over if you would just a few pages of the rite in the Bible to Colossians chapter 3, now Colossians and Ephesians are very, very similar epistles, and so they have a lot of parallel passages between the two so it's, it's, it's almost like you know, Paul sat down and wrote one of these epistles and then you know, shortly after wrote the other epistle with a lot of the same things on his mind saying, hey, the stuff that I said to Ephesus I need to say to Colossae as well and you know, it's, it's, they're just very similar you know, I, I don't know of course you know, for sure the order or you know, when they were written, but you can tell that they're extremely similar, and so they're, they're definitely like the same stuff is on Paul's mind when he's writing these, obviously ultimately it's the work of the Holy Spirit as inspired scripture but here's the parallel passage, it's much more brief, he does, he spends a big section on marriage in Ephesians 5, here he just barely touches on marriage and he says it very briefly beginning in verse 18, so we're in Colossians chapter 3 verse 18 it says, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against them. Again when Paul wants to give the quick version it's just, what is it? Wives submit, husbands love, isn't that pretty similar to wives reverence, husbands love, you get the idea here, this is the big responsibility now here it says submit yourselves unto your own husbands, this doesn't say women submit to all men, that's not what it says women don't have to obey all men, women have to obey their own husband, is what the Bible is saying, and then it says, husbands love your wives and be not bitter against them right, so here's what the Bible is saying let's say that your wife has burned you in the past because what does it mean to be bitter? It's when somebody does you wrong and you don't forgive them, you don't let it go you sort of just let that fester and you let that root of bitterness spring up troubling you and you just let it just go on and you harbor all these grudges and bad feelings, it's saying look be not bitter against your wives meaning that if your wife has disrespected you in the past, done you dirty in the past, done wrong in the past let it go forgive and forget, move on and just have loving, warm fuzzy feelings toward your wife and not be bitter against her ok, and again you could flip these over, obviously you know, God doesn't want wives to be bitter against their husbands either but apparently this is a big thing that husbands need to hear and it's being emphasized let's go to one final passage today 1 Peter chapter number 3 another classic marriage passage, this is the last place we'll turn tonight 1 Peter chapter 3 and so the Bible is really consistent on this topic and look, obviously there's a lot to learn about marriage that can't really be taught from the pulpit you really just have to just live it and experience it and also everybody's marriage is going to be different so you have to get to know your wife you have to get to know your husband and everybody's situation is going to be different and the stuff that works in my marriage is not necessarily going to work in your marriage and vice versa we're not living the same life, we're not married to the same people, everybody's different and so that's why the Bible doesn't just have a ton of detail on marriage it sort of just lays down a few big principles husbands love your wives wives obey your husbands, wives submit husbands don't get bitter wives be discreet take care of the house, husbands go out and work by the sweat of your face, bring home the bacon, you know, the Bible's just giving like some basic foundations it'll get you started but you got to just spend the rest of your life learning how to do your marriage ok, and not only that, you know, there's a lot of wisdom and proverbs that's not even necessarily about marriage, it's just about life you end up applying a lot of those things to marriage you know, you just end up applying all the fruits of the spirit toward marriage, you just apply whatever teachings of the word of God to marriage and it's a big subject and it's your whole life and whatever, but what the Bible's doing is at least giving us a foundation for a biblical marriage, and let me tell you something if you say, well we have a marriage where it's 50-50 and there's no boss and we both make all the decisions together and not one of us is in charge we don't have a biblical marriage you know, the biblical marriage is laid out a certain way and so this is what the Bible's teaching uh, 1 Peter chapter 3 verse 1 and just in case you thought it was just Paul that was really into teaching on this this is Peter now different human author chapter 3 verse 1, likewise ye wives be in subjection to your own husbands, and I pointed out recently in a sermon that the likewise their conjunction is taking us back to chapter 2 verse 18 where it says servants be subject to your masters with all fear not only to the good and gentle but also the froward so in 2 18 he's telling servants to obey their masters even if they are not good masters, even if they're bad masters likewise in the same way, ye wives be in subjection to your own husbands that if any what? obey not the word, so is this a great husband? no, he's not obeying the word of God great husbands do what? they obey the word of God you know, you want to be married to a husband who obeys the word of God, am I right? that's loving you nourishing you, cherishing you taking care of you, leading you providing good godly leadership sacrificing for you being unselfish for you you want a husband who obeys the word, amen? but this is not talking about that, this is saying hey, you need to likewise be in subjection to your own husbands so that even if there's a husband that doesn't obey the word just like in 2 18 it says even if there's a master who is froward and not gentle and not a good guy same way, if your husband is not obeying the word it says that these husbands also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives so here's what he's saying, he's saying wives be in subjection to your own husbands even if they're not obeying the word of God because then you can actually win them over to wanting to serve God by your godly example okay, so even though the husband is supposed to be the leader and call the shots and make the decisions you know, the wife can still be a godly influence on her husband just by being a good Christian and what this does not look like is her usurping the authority but rather the opposite by being in subjection she ends up influencing him because then he looks at his godly submissive wife and says wow that's wonderful, you're a great person, I want to be a godly Christian too, just like you are, you know, and so the husband could be inspired by his wife's godly example if she makes the first move and reverences him, he'll be inspired by that because hey, guess what, I think all men probably just want to be reverenced by their wife whether they're a Christian or not a Christian I think atheist men today want to be reverenced by their wife, okay if they're normal men, that's what they want and so if you have a godly Christian wife let's say she's married to an unsaved husband or a saved husband who just doesn't follow the Bible, either way her godly example can win him, right, he'll be won by the good conversation of the wife while they behold talking about the husbands, while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear, who's adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plating the hair and of wearing of gold or of putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man of the heart and that which is not corruptible even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit which in the sight of God is of great price, now what does it mean to be corruptible, it means to decay okay, and what the Bible is saying here is that the most important attribute that you have as a wife is not how you physically look on the outside but rather it is your godly character on the inside and the outer beauty of women is going to be corrupted over time so that a woman is probably, and I know some of you are the exception out there, but a woman's probably not going to be as beautiful as she gets into her 70's, 80's and 90's as she was when she was in her 20's, 30's and 40's 40's is peak beauty, okay for men and women, amen and so the point is that you know, that's corruptible, right you know, if that's the only thing that you like about your wife you know then how's that going to work as she gets older and the beauty fades you know, but what's really beautiful about your wife should be what's on the inside and so God is saying that you women, you know, you want to impress your husband and you want him to to even be won over and be a more godly Christian because of you and be inspired by you then, you know, it's not just about making yourself look pretty on the outside it's more about having a righteous godly character on the inside the hidden man of the heart verse 4 in that which is not corruptible, right because that can get more beautiful you could be 90 and you could be peak peak beauty on inner beauty okay, even if on the outside you're not quite the smoking hottie that you once were okay and again there are exceptions to this and then verse number 5 says for after this manner in the old time the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves being in subjection under their own husbands and again it's incredible how much this comes up, like how many times have we seen this in the bible submit, subject, submit, submit, head, obey it's just like so much and then there are people who still argue with this amazing it says in verse 6, even as Sarah, are you there in 1 Peter 3.6 because you'll have to see this verse to even believe it even as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord whose daughters you are as long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement here's what's interesting, okay back in verse 2 it said it's good for the wife to have what? chaste conversation coupled with fear so in verse 2, fear is a good thing but then in verse 6 we have a negative reference to fear talking about being afraid with amazement does everybody see the difference? so in verse 2 he says that women should have a godly chaste conversation coupled with fear but then he says you do well and are not afraid with any amazement okay, so what does that mean? you know, not being afraid with any amazement okay, is that obviously a woman should have a healthy reverential fear toward God and a healthy reverential fear, respect for her authority in the home her husband, okay but not to be terrified okay, because obviously we don't want to be terrified of God and obviously we don't want women to be terrified of their husbands, being afraid amazement is like what, astonishment, like just you know, being just in shock or just, you know you know, paralyzed with fear or just, you know, just not being able to exist in that relationship because of being afraid with amazement okay, and so obviously there's a balance here of, you know, yes godly fear coupled with fear, chaste you know, reverencing her husband, having a healthy respect for him not just, you know, disdaining him and just thinking that she just treats him however she wants act however she wants and God's not going to do anything, you know, it's a bad attitude right? but the Bible says in verse number 6 that Sarah obeyed Abraham you should be like her then you're like her spiritual daughter whose daughters you are as long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement and again, what can cause sometimes a terror or dread the wrong kind of fear is what? what would cause, stop and think about it and I know I'm kind of dwelling on this point but I'm doing it because it's kind of a, it's kind of a strange verse and so I want to make sure that we understand it what would cause me to have an unhealthy fear of God to be terrified of God, to be in dread of God run and hide, you know, go run and ask for the mountains and rocks to cover me and hide me from his face you know, be, having a guilty conscience am I right? having a guilty conscience, living in sin blaspheming God, and then all of a sudden the second coming of Christ is happening it's like, oh man, this is really scary whereas, you know, if the second coming of Christ happened and we're saved Christians we're like, yeah, bring it on, even so come Lord Jesus, it's the best day of our lives whereas if you're unsaved, if you're wicked, you know, you're gonna be freaked out, you know and so I think that, you know, the idea obviously, you could have some weird psycho monster husband where you're just terrified of him because he's a weirdo okay, I'm trying to think of any examples of that, and you know it starts with an L I don't know, never mind, but anyway you know, there could be a weird crazy psycho scary husband out there that, something like that but, you know, it's out there but, here's why I don't, and obviously that's an unhealthy situation, you know, if you're just a scary wild man that's freaking out your wife, yeah that's an unhealthy bad situation but I don't think that's exactly what's in view in this passage, because this particular verse is from the wife's perspective like what she should, you know, as long as she does well and is not afraid with any amazement is everybody following me? here's what it sounds like to me if you're doing well you're not afraid with any amazement cause you're doing well see, that's the actual context so what's the bible saying? rulers are not a terror to good works but to the evil wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? do that which is good and thou should have praise of the same but if thou do that which is evil be afraid be very afraid so here's how you're afraid without any amazement as long as you do well and you're not afraid with any amazement cause you're doing well you're not afraid with any amazement you're not just thinking like, oh man, you know what would make you think this thought oh, my husband's gonna absolutely kill me you know, hopefully you know, you don't just feel that way because you made like a small mistake you know, you burnt the dinner it's like, I'm dead I mean, that's an unhealthy relationship right, that's weird but I mean, what if like, what if a woman went out and really did something horrible? and let's just use kind of a crazy example let's just use an extreme example say a wife like committed adultery that's like an extreme example, you know, she's probably gonna be super scared and super terrified and super freaked out because guess what? sometimes husbands, when they catch they wives committing adultery sometimes they just kill people sometimes they just start killing everybody you know, because they just lose it you know, right or wrong, I'm just saying like, that's just something that happens you know, so here's the thing if you're committing these big crimes as a wife or big sins or just doing horrific, horrible things that's gonna cause you to be afraid with amazement where you're just like super freaked out terrified because of the fact that you know that you've done something super wicked and again, this is not a healthy relationship, you know, you don't want wives with that guilty of a conscience so keep your nose clean and do well, and if you do well you're not gonna be afraid with any amazement and then obviously we as husbands need to have reasonable expectations you know, reasonable rules, reasonable, and not obviously be too overbearing we don't want to be these little Hitlers in our house and just these little you know, Nazi warlords in our house obviously we want to have reasonable expectations and you know, have a peaceful, gentle atmosphere but you know, be firm where we need to be firm but be gentle and also be firm, you know, just depending on what's appropriate. I gotta hurry because I'm out of time the final verse here it says, likewise ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge giving honor under the wife as under the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered and what the Bible is saying here dwell with them according to the knowledge first of all, we need to know what the Bible says which is what we're doing tonight, we're all sitting here reading this together, you guys all know what the if you've been listening for the last hour you know what the Bible says about marriage we just looked at the big passages and went verse by verse and you know and knowing is half the battle right? so, you have knowledge, but then also you want to dwell with your wife according to knowledge, meaning you need to know your wife and learn your wife how to really love your wife and dwell with your wife every woman has different needs emotionally, physically so you need to know your wife so that you can be the best possible husband you know what, that takes you caring loving her, spending time with her learning about her, so that you can provide what she needs according to knowledge you know what the Bible says and you know your wife as a person everybody's marriage is different I could tell you exactly how I do my marriage but it might not necessarily help you because your wife is just a totally different person and I'll be like, well this is what my wife likes and then you're like, oh no, my wife hates that or vice versa we all have our own, you know proclivities and idiosyncrasies and so it says dwell with them according to knowledge give honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel yes, you're stronger but you should still treat her with respect as the weaker vessel, honor her love her, cherish her, be gentle with her, because she is the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life, meaning that in Christ's sight, you're both of equal value, the husband just because the husband has authority over the wife the husband is not better than the wife or more spiritual than the wife or more important in the sight of God, you're both heirs together of the grace of life and it says that your prayers be not hindered, because if you as a husband do not love your wife honor your wife and dwell with her according to knowledge, then when you're praying to your father up in heaven he's going to treat you the way that you're treating her right, because you're a boss over her and so if you're not treating her well then what goes around comes around and so then you're, you know, your wife's asking you for stuff and you just never give her anything, you never do anything she wants you're never filling her needs and then you're like, okay, now God give me what I need isn't that what prayer is, asking for stuff? Well you go to ask for God and God's like, well hold up why would I, you're not, you're not giving good gifts unto your children you're not giving anything to your wife why would I be generous with you when you're a tightwad and a cheapskate and a skinflint and you're selfish if you're a selfish leader, I'm going to be selfish with you and so therefore I'm not going to give you what you're praying for so you see how that would hinder your prayers when you're being a jerk of a husband well then, you know, God doesn't like that he's not going to take care of you in that sense so all that to say this, you know we covered a lot of ground tonight, we looked at the we looked at the big passages Ephesians 5, Titus 2 Colossians 3, 1 Peter 3 I mean, if you ask any pastor if they name the five big marriage passages you know, those four passages are going to be on his list, guaranteed okay, we went through them we saw what the Bible says it's not complicated, it's clear I think we all know what we're supposed to do right, we as husbands need to work on being more loving and sacrificial and be like Christ and be a strong leader for our family and give our wife some direction not just self-serving but for her benefit and for the kids benefit and then also, wives you need to work on being more respectful to your husband do not tell him off bark at him, talk down to him, you know, treat him kindly with respect, you know what and think about this, ask yourself this question is this how I would talk to a boss at work or how I would talk to my parents when I was a kid or is this how I would talk to you know, the pastor of the church or is this how, you know what I mean because, you know, why would you talk down to your husband, well he's just my husband, we live together sorry, well, but you know what just because you live together you shouldn't get so familiar with each other to the point where it's like oh, we're just so familiar with each other, I can't treat him with respect or deference anymore because we're just we're just like, you know, too close or something you know sometimes you get really close with people you know, hey, maybe you need to have a little bit of distance there so that you can actually have a little bit of reverence and respect for him, he's the man and you should have an attitude about your husband, that he is the man and if you're like well, you've already failed and you need to get your heart right with God tonight and start praying for God to help you be more respectful to your husband in your heart, because you know what's funny about Sarah calling Abraham, Lord, she never if you read the story, she never calls him Lord to anybody, you know when she calls him Lord she's thinking in her heart she's thinking in her brain and says my Lord so, you know, you need to feel that way about your husband and say, well, he's just not respectable well, I don't like you either I already don't like you just because you said that one statement so, hey maybe we all are imperfect and you should find something and I think everybody can find something to respect about their husband right? Like maybe you say, well, these are all the things he's failing at find something and if you can't find anything about your husband that you respect, why did you marry this guy? What were you thinking? Okay, but I bet you if you try hard enough you can find something to respect and you know what? Love your wives and you know what? You say, well, I just don't love my wife well, then you need to change and maybe go back in your mind to why you even married her and think about the things that you do like and sit around dwelling on the parts you like and not thinking about the parts you don't like and you know, let's work on our marriages and let's have a biblical marriage, because you know at the end of the day, people can criticize my teachings they can criticize our church our friends' churches and say that we're teaching it wrong but at the end of the day, you have the same Bible I have and I think that if you study the Bible you're going to come to the same conclusions that I've come to we know what the Bible says, we just need to put it into practice let's prioritize and have a word of prayer Father, we thank you so much for your word and Lord God, please help us all to be better husbands, better wives for those that are single, Lord, I pray that they would put all these things into their brain and remember them so that when someday they're married they can live by these things and Lord, those that are maybe older maybe they're widowed or divorced and they're just, they're not in this situation Lord I'm sure that there are biblical principles that we can all draw from this because we all have people in our lives that we need to show love to, and we all have authorities that we need to submit to in one way or another help us to just apply these principles more broadly as well and in Jesus' name we pray, amen Amen, alright ladies and gentlemen take your hymnals please, turn to hymn 373 hymn number 373 so send I you hymn number 373 hymn number 373 sing this out together and be dismissed tonight hymn number 373 so send I you to transform me alone so send I you to light the grooves that broke it for what my souls do and to be too late to bear the burdens of the world of weary so send I you to suffer for my sake so send I you to loneliness that's longing with heart of hunger for the one that knows for saving all the kinship friends and dear ones so send I you to know my love so send I you to lead your life and mission to die to fear these ourselves will resign to wait for long and long for everybody so send I you to lead your life and mine so send I you to hearts made hard by hatred to eyes made blind because they will not see to spend the wind these loves to spend and stare not so send I you to taste of Calvary as the Father has sent me so send I you Amen. Good thing tonight we are dismissed. Thank you.