(Disclaimer: This transcript is auto-generated and may contain mistakes.)

All right, so the part of the chapter I want to focus in there on Proverbs chapter 25 is actually the very last verse where it says He that hath no rule over his own spirit Is like a city that is broken down and without walls So what is he when he's saying he that hath no rule over spirit to kind of bring that in the modern vernacular What we would probably refer today as a guy who can't keep his attitude in check, you know Somebody who's maybe a hothead or somebody who just allows every little thing to get to him Or maybe it's a lady, you know, everything is just something that is the end of the world, you know Something goes wrong and all of a sudden everything's falling apart And what it's what it's saying is here that we need to be people who can rule over our spirit and not just let circumstances Or life just toss us to and fro and be on this just emotional roller coaster. We need to be steady and stable people And I love the analogy that he uses here He says here that a person who cannot rule his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls Now, of course back then, you know Walls were very important to a city, you know They had to be built in order to defend the city from outside intruders from armies that would come to attack it And so this analogy here would show us that when we don't have rule over our spirit That we are defenseless in a way having no control no rule over your attitude, you know It it or the way you react it leaves you vulnerable is what the bible is saying here It leaves you vulnerable to a lot of uh, you know bad outcomes in your life and Every you think about a city that doesn't have walls I mean you think about an army can just march right in there and just do whatever it pleases Nobody's safe. It can just walk in anytime it wants You know, it's going to encounter very little resistance and it's just going to do whatever it likes And that's kind of the bible saying here we need to rule our spirit so that we're not like that city Where every every circumstance every influence in life? You know just marches its way into our heart and just you know messes things up and just has us all turned around And the way we know whether or not we're really ruling over our spirit Is the way we react, you know when think because here's the thing things are going to go wrong Things aren't going to go the way we like We're going to get bad news You know things bad things are going to happen But we need to we can but when that happens we can step back and kind of measure how? Well, we're ruling our spirit by the way we react to those circumstances If you would go over to proverbs chapter 15 proverbs chapter 15 The bible says a wholesome tongue Is a tree of life but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit So again, you get this idea of a breach in the spirit a person who has no rule of their spirit It's like a city without walls. There's no protection. There's a breach there, right? And when that breach is there when those walls don't exist The way you can tell is by the way you react and how do we react usually to circumstances? How do we react to other people? We react with our mouth. Don't we we say things back we respond Verbally, right? We often vent our frustrations verbally And the bible says here that a wholesome tongue is a tree of life But perverseness it therein is a breach in the spirit so when things that are coming out of our mouth that are perverse and What I believe he's referring to in the sense is not being lewd or crass But things that are not right at the opposite of a wholesome tongue Things that are not edifying things that are not beneficial When those are the things that are coming out of our mouth that shows that we have no rule in our spirit That there that we have a breach in our spirit So the person who has a rule over his spirit, you know, he can keep a wholesome tongue right even when bad things happen He's not going to fly off the handle. They're not going to lash out verbally and and and try to you know, Hurt other people Or say things that are discouraging so on and so forth, you know, there's a lot of different examples of that And at the source of that, you know, of course, we all understand what the bible says out of the abundance of the heart The mouth speaketh So really it all kind of comes back around, you know, we we need to control our spirit We need to rule our hearts. And if we do that the things that come out of our mouth are going to be right They're not going to be they're going to be wholesome. They're not going to be perverse If that makes sense, if you would keep something in proverbs go to ephesians chapter chapter four ephesians chapter four There's an association here with having rule over your spirit And having control over your mouth having control over your tongue You know, I heard a preacher say and I think i've expressed it here as well as that If you can learn to rule your tongue as it says in james, you know, you you you can rule the whole body That if we would just focus on our tongue and the things that come out Very soon. We would probably have a lot of other things in our life. Just line right up I don't know why all that is. We could probably preach about that, but I believe there's some truth to that Look there in ephesians chapter 4 verse 29 He said let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth but that which is good to the use of edifying And that's what we need to ask ourselves are the things that we're saying the things that we are expressing Are they good to the use of edifying? That they administer grace under the years and grieve not the holy spirit of god Whereby you are sealed under the day of redemption you say why is it a big deal that I rule over my spirit? Because it affects your tongue Why is it a big deal that I affect that I rule over my spirit and control the things that I say? Because of the fact that you know, it's it could edify somebody or it could actually, you know, do the opposite It could bring somebody down. It could be a discouragement to somebody or How about this it would god's going to take notice of it and it's going to grieve him I mean god pays attention to the things that come out of our mouth And sometimes we can find ourselves in a place where the things that are coming out of our mouth is a grief unto god Who has sealed us on the day of redemption and it can be a source of grief to him So there's a lot of good reasons as why we should learn to control our spirit, you know Why we should learn to have rule over our spirit If you would, uh go down to verse 31 He says let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking I mean, these are all things that you would say come out of a person's mouth bitterness People express bitterness with the mouth. They say a lot of wrathful things with the mouth Anger often is expressed through the mouth Clamor and evil speaking come through the mouth be put away from you with all malice And be kind one to another tender hearted. There's the heart again the source Of what comes out of our mouth ruling our spirit ruling our heart. You can see how these things are related Forgiving one another even as god for christ's sake hath forgiven you And see the reason why we need to rule our spirit Is because of the fact that if we don't those around us are going to suffer, you know And we could think about this in every area of our lives If we don't control our spirit I mean, maybe we're real good about controlling it in this area of our life But when we get in this situation or this circumstance, we just kind of let things go You know, it's going to affect people around us negatively and we have to be in control of our spirit We need to learn to rule our spirit if you would go back to proverbs chapter 11 proverbs chapter 11 The bible says death and life are in the power of the tongue. That's a powerful statement And we could think about several ways that that's true that death and life are in the power of the tongue I automatically think of soul winning Preaching the gospel, you know, we're going out we have death and life in our tongue. We have that power We are a saver of life unto life to them that believe and a saver of death unto death of them that believe not He says death and life are a death and life in the power of the tongue and they that eat it A love excuse me and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof look there at proverbs chapter 11 verse 9 Proverbs 11 verse 9 he says and hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbor and hypocrite with his mouth Destroyeth his neighbor now you think of a hypocrite would be the things that he does Because those are often what makes a person a hypocrite or what they don't do. They say one thing they do another They say one thing they don't do that the thing that they say you should do You know, they're hypocrites they say and do not But it's their mouth that actually is destroys them It's their mouth that you know, if they were if they were a hypocrite, but didn't use their mouth, you know Maybe their neighbor would be all right But it's the fact that they're going around saying one thing and doing another that destroys their neighbor And I think this is you know This is something that we as christians to take heed to That we can actually destroy our neighbor. Now. How would you destroy your neighbor? Well, think about You know a person going to hell You know, that's what I think about that. I mean, it's called, you know, uh, You know, it's called destruction, you know hell and destruction are before the eyes of the lord So how we could destroy our neighbor is by saying or being a hypocrite, you know by being a hypocrite We could actually send somebody to hell Now obviously that person has a choice to make on their own But here's the thing. There's a lot of people out there that are looking for a reason to write off. God They want a reason to just say well god's not true. I I knew it the bible's fake All churches are the same it's full of hypocrites, right? So let's not be that reason. Let's not be that hypocrite. Let's rule over our spirit so that we don't destroy our neighbor You know, I think back and you know, this is something I say, you know, shame-facedly. This is something that I say Uh, you know I share with you, you know It's it's it's something that's been hard to live down, you know And it's just one example, you know early on in my christian life You know, I was you know a hypocrite with my mouth, you know, I think of one particular way I was working for a a furniture company, you know, and we were going around the delivery truck delivering furniture And there was this one guy that they had hired who was you know living in a halfway house. He was an older guy Uh, you know, he he had been in and out of jail for drinking. He recently got divorced so on and so forth The guy's life was just a mess You know, and it's not like I was going around with my bible at work, you know Just trying to beat people over the head with it, but they knew that I was a christian They knew that I was you know Saved and then I believed in god and all of that and I tried and here's the thing. Nobody's perfect You know, nobody is going to you know, never make a mistake But we should strive not to but here's the thing. I remember we were driving in the in the work van one day And you know it and of course it's road rage and that's going to be an illustration that I use that illustration because that's the one I'm very familiar with I've spent a lot of time in vehicles and anybody else that has knows what this is like So i'm driving this big delivery truck and some guy You know does something in the other lane and just under my breath just some cuss word came out and that guy Was just looking and he's like, oh that's not in your vocabulary. That's what he said to me So what'd you just say? And he called me on it and I remember just thinking oh i'm a terrible human being And i'm the worst christian that's ever lived. How could I do that? And i'm not saying it's right but here's the thing and i'm not you know That made me and at least in his eyes look like a hypocrite Because he knew christians aren't supposed to talk that way that they're supposed to be kind and patient And what are you getting upset for? Why are you cussing over there in the driver's seat? Right And I you know, I don't know if that guy was going to get saved or not anyway or whatever whatever happened to him He wasn't there very long But maybe that one little thing was enough for him to just say well, I I knew it all christians are a bunch of hypocrites Right or wrong, you know whether he's right about that, you know writing his right to Use me as his excuse to write god off and write the bible off, you know, whatever that doesn't matter The fact is in that one moment. I lost control of my spirit and something came out of my mouth It came out of my heart And you know what? It might maybe it was maybe it was something that that guy used as his excuse and ended up destroyed You know and that's a pretty mild example That's a very mild example, but you know, we could think of other people who have made much worse sins We've gotten, you know involved in much worse things That have been brought a reproach upon the name of christ where just many people are saying I knew it all along These guys are all fakes. These guys are all hypocrites And just write off god right off church, you know, that kind of thing goes on out there And that's why the bible is addressing it here. He's saying look a hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbor And we don't want to be those type of people and that's why we need to rule Our spirit and be careful about the things that come out of our heart and out of our mouth You know a lot of people out there are looking for a reason to write off god let's not be that reason So we could think about different ways that you know when we lose control of our spirit, what does that look like And probably the first thing that we all think of is anger, you know, that's probably one of the biggest ones we get angry Right And you know again, uh, this is something I I know I struggled with, you know much more in the past You know, we would get angry I would get angry about you know Stupid things and and I had to step back and say this isn't accomplishing anything and have to pray and get that right, you know, but What that is what that stems from often our anger and our frustration is a lack of control An inability to rule our spirit if you would go over to proverbs 16 proverbs 16 Since i'm just you know, pulling all the skeletons out of the closet I remember I think i've shared this one here before this was a major and I remember it and it's an illustration I use probably hopefully not too often because it was it seriously was a turning point, you know for me It was like a milestone in my christian life I remember I was you know living, you know, I wasn't living in a shack down by the river anymore You know, I was on my way there actually But I was living in a I was actually living in a house that had been a chicken coop then a cow A pig pen a cow barn and then a horse stall and then was covered into a house Another story. Okay, that's where i'm living, you know, and things aren't going that great finance, you know I'm young in the lord and you know things are i'm learning the hard way, you know And I remember my car had problems and I got out of my car and you know It was stalling or something. There was some problem with it and rather than trying to figure out what the problem was and address it and I just lost control of my spirit and I got out and I just started kicking the car Now it was more than just that moment that I was frustrated over It's probably a lot of other things that were going on But I remember just kicking i'm like kicking dents in this car kicking a dent in the fender kicking a dent In the door and after I'd done all my kicking and got it all out and you know blew my top and I started to cool down My car was still broken And but now it had dents in it not only did I have you know mechanical issues now I had body work to do too Why because I lost control of my spirit I remember in that moment just saying You know losing your you and I think I might even talk to my pastor about at the time I don't know, but I just remember thinking That accomplished nothing, you know, and I was probably you know, I read I was reading problems a lot back then Maybe I even read this these verses and was like well that's the end of that i'm gonna work harder I'm, not losing my cool, you know of trying to rule my spirit because that's the that's the one probably one You know reaction that we think of the most when we think about a person not ruling their spirit We think of them person who's very angry Now here's the thing is angry being angry always a sin. No, of course not we know that You know, we know we know there are righteous men of god that god himself gets angry gets mad gets wrathful gets vengeful and all those things But we can't run with that and say well now every time I get angry. It's righteous indignation, you know me getting out and and Kicking my car half to death was not righteous indignation, you know, that was just an immaturity that had to be grown out of Now if you would look at proverbs chapter 16 I'm talking about ruling our spirit tonight ruling the things that come to our mouth keeping control of our emotions He says in verse 32 He that is slow to anger Is better than the mighty and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city You know god's more impressed looks down is more impressed with a guy who can rule his spirit And control himself than he is with a guy who might be boisterous and loud and violent and can go conquer an entire city God's not impressed with that. He says it takes more effort for you To just control your spirit that's more impressive to the lord. That'll let that sink in how important this really is How much this really matters? So Because here's the thing when you when you are when you don't have control of your spirit when you don't Rule your spirit like the bible says You know that leaves us open to other sins Think about it, you know when we get angry, you know that you'll be turning get into a blind rage a lot of bad things can happen You know, i'll go back again to that illustration of road rage You know, I sometimes you know, i'll go on youtube and watch these road rage montages just to remind myself Of how bad things can get, you know, kind of keep myself in check You know, so next time i'm down the 10 on my way to tucson or going back to phoenix And somebody's doing something. I don't like I can recall that video to mine where you know The vehicle's like flipping over in a ditch, you know or whatever where somebody gets out with a gun or something, you know But that's a that's a good example that you know, we can relate to is that you know when we get angry often That leads to other sins You know somebody does something we don't like on the road we get angry it turns into road rage next It's you know vehicular homicide or manslaughter You know why because it's in a moment People who normally probably would just be perfectly calm in other situations You know they get into that situation. Well, and it's you know, from a physiological standpoint, it's kind of understandable. I mean On a subconscious level you're you're hurtling yourself at 80 miles at 75 miles an hour down the highway You know and two thousand pounds of steel with a bunch of other people and all that's keeping you safe is a line of paint In the road, I mean you're subconsciously already in a flight or fight state of mind All right, so you're already there's always enough tension and stress there So you can see why people could you know lose their cool in those moments, but that's not an excuse We need to work on that, you know, and there's a lot of other areas in life. We could talk about not just you know in commuting You know in other areas, you know such as marriage, you know, that's a big one You know people people lose their cool with with their spouses And they fly off the handle they do things that aggravate each other You know and rather than just staying calm and collected and talking about it. They just get frustrated. They lose control of their spirit And bad things happen divorces take place people are hurt Are you in proverbs go to proverbs 29 proverbs 29? So And the reason why and look this happens all the time I mean people People go out and they they someone looks at them cross-eyed and next thing, you know, they're in a fist fight People get mad at each other They fly off the handle with complete strangers because they have no rule over their spirit And they're just like a city with no walls and every emotion and every frustration You just march right into their life and just do whatever they want with them You know, they seem fine one day and then the next day You know, they're they're in some situation where somebody does something that they don't like and bad things take place They have no rule over their spirit The bible says in proverbs 29 verse 22. You say why is that? Why is it? Why is it that people cannot rule their spirit? Even in the face of of constant of the consequences that we know are there look is road rage and mystery Is this a new phenomenon that nobody knows about? I mean, I know when I I know when it's it's creeping up on me I mean I was coming down this morning and there's this transplant from california in the fast lane, right, honey All right, and she's just got a stack of her all of her goods are on top of her car with a big tarp Flapping off of it That's fine. But could you get over you know, you're you know, and she the people that cannot pick a speed and just stick with it You know, i'm trying to I want to keep the cruise on and save some gas money, you know, i'm gonna be fucked anyway But she's you know, i'm sitting there going why doesn't she get on right on her tail then she takes off And I got to go around and then she's back again But did I do good I did good didn't I? I I kept my cool. I mean I was frustrated with her But I just got in the other lane let everybody else deal with her I didn't get in front of her and pump the brakes and get her to get over I thought about it though. I tell you that much, you know, but now that i'm in that marked van I have to be really careful what I do, right? The pastor's going to be getting calls now. Like what are you doing out there? I'm like, oh no, I have rule over my spirit I swear But here's the thing. That's not that's not a mystery We can tell when we're starting to feel Like we're going to lose control of our spirit. We know when it's going to happen We're when we're going to blow our top and we're going to get mad and we're going to lash out And a lot of people do it. Why is it so common? Because here's the thing It takes humility to do that It took humility this morning to let some california flake, you know do what they did to me on the road You know, I had to I had to call myself and not prove anything, right? Not all californians are flakes Proverbs 29 verse 22 it says an angry man stirreth up strife and a furious man aboundeth in transgression Listen to that. I mean guy a guy who's angry. He's just out stirring up strife Just randomly, uh strife over here strife over there strife on the road strife at home strife at work Strife everywhere I go. I'm just going to stir it up. I have no rule over my spirit. I'm an angry man A furious man aboundeth in transgression You know all that strife he's stirring up. It's going to lead to sin. It's going to lead to other sins He's going to get involved in bad things. It's going to it's nothing good's going to come of it And it says in verse 23, and you know, this is this is all in context. It's no coincidence It says a man's pride shall bring him low But honor shall uphold the humble in spirit See it takes humility for a person To control their spirit to rule their spirit Because the humble in spirit will say I'm i'm getting angry and there's no reason for it This this perceived wrong You know, the bible says it is an honor for a man to pass over a transgression Maybe they really are wrong. Maybe you even have a reason to be upset You know, maybe they forget to put the banana in the banana split Right, I ordered it. You said you had the bananas and now you're telling me no bananas Right and i'm gonna blow my top about it Or maybe you just say how could I just have a little extra ice cream, you know That's why we know you ordered the banana split. Anyway, you're trying to sound healthy. There's a banana in it You really want the ice cream. Anyway, that's what it's all about But we don't have to blow up over every little thing right but only humble people are going to be able to do that people who can recognize This isn't as big a deal as I think it is I can I can suffer myself to be wrong here. I can you know, I can let it I can pass over this transgression And let it slide You know, let me just get in the other lane you go ahead That that but that takes humility That in that but that takes humility But it's a man's pride that shall bring him low That's what we can anger like i'm gonna show them who they they don't know who they're messing with This is a ford e 350 man with a five point Something leader in it. I don't know When I step on the gas I can I can keep up with you You know with my family in the car who's just you know tenaciously holding on for life You know why so I can prove a point so I can feel like the bigger man No, we want to be it takes humility to rule your spirit I mean the bible again would liken it onto a city that is with a broken city that's broken down and without walls Is it was a person who can't rule their spirit. That's what they're likening them onto go over to proverbs 18 So What is the wall then that is going to protect our spirit to help us control our spirit to rule our spirit What is that wall, you know, it's going to be things like patience You know and here's the thing what you you name the blocks whatever you want patience so on and so forth But humility is the mortar that's going to hold all that together Humility is the mortar of that wall that's going to make it up and make everything stick and bind and hold And be strong and be able to resist that attack that wants to come in and take control of our spirit The bible says in proverbs 16 i'll read to you pride goeth before destruction And a haughty spirit before a fall So again, you can see how pride And haughtiness are the things that bring us low You know things that we have people who are don't who lack humility are the ones that are not going to control their spirit That are going to bound in transgression that are going to stir up strife And end up suffering for it If we don't learn to rule our spirit we are going to make costly mistakes in life costly mistakes in life You know going back again to the road rage What if we what if we didn't have any control of our spirit this morning coming down here? You know could have been a tragedy on the way down, you know Things like that happen People lose their cool And the and terrible things happen You know, that's that's just one example and we could we could talk about all kinds of other examples We talked about marriage and other things The bible says in proverbs chapter, uh, you're in proverbs 18 It says before destruction the heart of man is haughty and before honor is humility go back to proverbs chapter 14 proverbs chapter 14 You can see again there that's that's the balance there Destruction haughtiness pride these things go together honor humility peace long suffering tender heartedness these things go together Proverbs chapter 14 look at verse 29 he that is slow to wrath Is of great understanding now Let that those words sink in a little bit here doesn't say he that is without wrath he that has no wrath He that's never wrathful. Is that what it says? No, he says he that is slow to wrath He that the guy that you know, there's a time and place for wrath. Don't get me wrong There is a time and place to get angry to get upset To kick and stream and throw a fit and let everybody know about it, you know If there's a good reason behind it there is a time and place for that But it's probably not when we think it is quite often if we were honest But he that is a slow to wrath. The bible says of great understanding But he that is of a hasty spirit ex uh, uh, exulted folly You know the hasty spirit the person has no control over their spirit Just whatever happens they act quickly, you know, they make brash decisions. They fly off the handle They exalt folly it follows them around You know, it's it's a defining characteristic in their life now one area that you know, i'm just going to focus on a little bit here Is the area of parenting? You know, I always try to make it i'm always trying to apply it. You know, we got a lot of parents in the room I myself being a parent, you know, we need to we need to think about our parenting And I think this is an area that we need to think about You know where where ruling our spirit becomes very important important When we are parenting our children go over to colossians chapter three very familiar passages, but we're going to look at them Again if we don't learn to rule our spirit it will cost us in our life And it just might be you know, maybe it's not gonna be road rage Maybe it's not gonna you getting into some fight somewhere But it might cost you your kids It might cost you a spouse. It might cost you your children Maybe they'll get frustrated and go away And go astray and not live for the lord Maybe they'll look at you and say the hypocrite And maybe they'll be that neighbor that we destroy with our mouth Look here in colossians chapter 3 verse 21 fathers provoke not your children to anger Lest they be discouraged No, I don't think this means don't ever tell your kids anything Uh, they don't like All right, that's not what it's saying. He's saying provoke them not to anger Lest they be discouraged if you would Uh go over to efusion's chapter 6. We'll see a similar passage as well With very similar wording efusion's chapter 6 verse 4 again colossians 3 said provoke not your children to anger Lest they be discouraged. It says in efusion 6 4 and he fathers provoked not your children to wrath the same thing, right? And it says but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the lord Now here's the thing we so what's it? What's he getting at here? How is it that we're going to you know? Provoke our children to anger to the point where they're discouraged Well, I think what he's referring to is don't have unreasonable expectations for your children Don't demand perfection out of your kids because they're not perfect And if we i'm not saying lower the bar i'm just saying make sure that's there's an attainable goal I mean set the bar high, you know Ask, you know require, you know high standards and all that but don't put it way up here where no You know where it's where you don't even reach that goal. You don't even have any of them attain none of that You're going to ask them to do it It's an unattainable goal and sometimes we get carried away Possibly we can anyway with parents or excuse me with our children with our parenting By having these these unrealistic goals and expectations for our children and he says bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the lord So we should be you know, definitely bringing up So what does all that all entail bringing up the nurture and admonition of the lord? Does that I mean obviously that involves Does that I mean obviously that involves discipline it involves standards it involves Everything that comes along with that But what we don't we don't want to go beyond that we don't want to go beyond the nurture and admonition of the lord I mean we can't show them from the bible. This is why we expect this of you. This is why we do what we do right here then we have to step back and say Is this a realistic expectation? Am I putting something out there that's going to end up just discouraging them? And say I can never please them. I can never Reach this goal that they've set up for us And notice here how discouragement between these two passages becomes wrath And I believe that's a process, you know They start out discouraged and then it just turns into wrath and anger and vengeance and all these things You know kids can get fed up and they can lash out Having not learned to rule their own spirit You know, they just saw they saw mom and dad every time they got a little frustrated It's just yelling and screaming and throwing things and why can't I do that? You know, they didn't rule their spirit. Why do I need to rule mine? So we need to learn to rule our rule our spirit again, this is just one area, you know And i'm just touching on this tonight, you know, I mean we could talk about parenting Do a whole series on that. That's a very important subject But I'm just just touching on a few areas But what I want to just drive home tonight is the idea that we need to learn to rule our spirit We need to recognize in ourselves that If this is us that maybe we have a propensity To fly off the handle Maybe maybe we're soon angry Maybe we're not slow to wrath Maybe we all we need to work on that He says, uh, because here's the thing. What what is Where does this come from this this inability to rule our spirit? You know, we saw you know, it's It comes from you know, uh the heart, you know, and it shows up in the mouth But it really it comes from where it springs from is a lack of patience And if you would let's go over to proverbs chapter 15 proverbs 15. We'll wrap it up tonight I told you it wasn't gonna be a long one tonight. Hopefully i'm keeping my word. I Nope i'm not but i'm going along already I'll be on time. I'm not going long But he says in uh proverbs chapter 15 because again an inability to rule our spirit, what is it? Where does it come from a lack of patience? A very patient. What does it mean to be a patient person? It means to be somebody Who can put up with a lot of frustration and not lose it? You know People who can put up with a lot of frustration and difficult circumstances and stay cool under pressure are considered patient people People who don't have patience, you know, they blow up they lose it they crack They can't rule their spirit And I think another another area You know, just you know, i'm going to come back to parenting a little bit in the end here But I thought about this today when we're out there In fact, I had an experience today out soul winning and I thought this was appropriate. So another area would be soul winning I mean soul winning is an area. You don't want to go out and lose your cool And i've and i'll be honest i've been guilty of that in the past And some people think well, that's kind of cool It's not I mean it who I mean we could admit, you know I remember I remember losing my cool for my dad when I was young before I got saved. I mean, I just blew up about something I got real angry and I came down later and he's like, I bet you felt alive though, didn't you? Because I bet your heart was pumping you probably felt pretty good. I was like, yeah, actually I did you know, I don't even remember the I just remember that part of that story, but You know, we don't want to just go out out there and just lose our cool out out soul winning We don't want to be a hypocrite and destroy our neighbor You know, and i've i'll be perfectly honest. I've found myself in the street yelling at somebody you judy eyes hurt you like no And then i'm going to go to their neighbor and knock on their door They were watching me the whole time out the window. They're coming. I see me coming to their door They're locking it closing the shades. They got 911 just ready to push the button Some psycho's coming over, right? Is he gonna yell at me next you know, that's you know, that's why maybe I had every Everything I was saying to that guy everything I was yelling at that guy was true But does that make it right to have done it? No And today we ran into a guy me and brother brother andrew We ran into a guy and I could tell right away. He was the one guy who let me start giving him the gospel But you know, they're like, yeah, you can show me You can just read people, you know, hey, can I show you what it says Oh, yeah, why don't you why don't you go ahead and try to show me what that says? Go ahead, you know They get that kind of condescending. You can just see it all over him And he was one of these guys And I don't want to go into it long, but he I mean right away he just starts and well Well, let me ask you, you know If you if you were to read the bible, how do you know that's the word of god? I mean if you were to read this book and you said something out of the bible But you misspoke. Is it the word of god? You are you all look as confused as I was I'm like and i'm going what like literally i'm making this face going, huh? And i'm getting frustrated. I can feel it. I could feel the the neck turning red and the first starting standing up the whole, you know, just you know Just ready to just close my bible and walk away And and put up with it and he would probably snicker and laugh and say I got him But I went back and forth from a little bit in kind way and I was telling myself in my head. Stay calm. Stay calm, you know 10 9 8 But he's saying, you know, hey if you if you were to read this book And you were reading it to me at church and you said something wrong. Is that still the word of god? I mean, it's just what just vain, huh? vain jangling just dumb question And i'm like, well if I said something wrong that doesn't make that not be the word of god and it ended up in the end He was saying He was just testing me, you know, and then he started bragging about some story He was like, well, I know these other christians came over once and I said sure you could show me The bible says and I got my bible out, you know, and I took him back to genesis and I said well, you know, who did who did uh, who did uh not not seth but um Yeah, cain who did cain marry? And I started to give him the answer. He said no. No, I know that's the answer I know you know what it is, but i'm just saying I told those guys that you know what they did They closed their bible and they just walked away And I thought myself in that moment, you know, i'm sure glad I didn't do that So that I when he first started in on me And I started to get frustrated which I didn't just follow my instinct which was just like, you know, you're a jerk You know burning hell, buddy Go ahead you scoffer You know because all I would have all that would have happened is i'd just been another story for that guy Just another christian that came to his door that he got the better of that. He frustrated That lost control of their spirit and couldn't just calm down and have a conversation You know at the end I ended up fist bumping the guy and said god bless you. Have a good day You know, can you believe that physical contact out? So my name is crazy You know, I gave him a fist bump And I just said hey, you know, I gave him a movie. I said, you know, I I just told him I said hey man You know, I I he said I said let me ask you a question. Do you believe this is the word of god? And he said he did I said well i'm glad you do I said but your answer was wrong according to the word of god You know, you said you had to be a good person to keep the commandments and stuff As the bible says only you got to do is just believe and I said, you know, I know you're quarantining and all that Here's a movie. Why don't you watch this? And he was reluctant, but he took it and I feel like we ended it Well, did it end did it seem like it ended well to you? Yeah, I think so, too But i'd tell you something there that first minute or two I contemplated just going off Because i've been there before and i've worked very hard when they'll run into those people I even thanked him. I said i'm glad you keep me. I said thanks for keeping me on my toes out here You know And I thought boy that fits right into my spirit I thought i'm sure glad I didn't lose control of my spirit out here and then have to come back here and preach that in front of andrew He'd been like wait a second. I was out there with you today. I saw what happened Right, maybe that's the only thing that kept me back. It's like I gotta preach later But the point being you know, I wanted we don't want to lose our cool out there soul winning And I get there's people out there they they It's if someone loses their cool. I don't hold it against them Because I know how people can get and I and sometimes we have a bad day and we fly we're all human and stuff like that But look if that defines your soul winning, you know, if if it's if if the numbers are, you know Well three saved and you know four shouting matches every week You know, you might want to check whether or not you actually have rule over your spirit But just you know, so that's kind of one another area, you know that we want to control our spirit in But you know going back to patience. What does it all stem from? Where does this all this this inability to rule my spirit come from a lack of patience? That's what I displayed towards that guy today was just patience. Let him let him go on his rant Let him, you know, i'll get my two cents in eventually we can end this well And we can you know, it'll be a good Illustration when I get back to church You know, it'll you know that all became because of patience and that's what's needed if we're going to rule our spirit and going back To you know, the example of parenthood Parenthood is absolutely a trying of your patience You know, somebody was asking me earlier, you know, they said, you know when your kid goes through this thing in their life You know, they I think it was you actually I think it was with teething Right, he said man when your kid brother matt he says, you know when your child goes through teething why why is it so painful? Do you think it's god just testing our patience? You know, i'm trying to think of a real spiritual answer and just you know, come across very deaconly And I thought about i'm like, yeah, absolutely. I don't know if I expressed at the time But I thought it about again later and i'm like, yeah for sure. That's exactly probably what it is. God's just down there testing our patience You know, it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's He's just going to give us these little bundles of joy with no trials at all Like he's just going to spoil this with these these little beings that just bring so much joy in our life. No, he's going to add You know some other things there that we have to learn to to exercise patient because that's going to help us grow As parents as human beings as christians, we're going to become more Patient as well. So yeah parenthood definitely is a trying of our patience You know in every area of their life You know, i've only gotten up to you know, nine years with mine I don't I don't know what Lies ahead, but i'm sure that you know the end of the trying of our patience hasn't ended that there's more of it to come And you know, I don't say that it's a bad thing, you know That's that's often that's not the child's fault. You know, that's just the way they are That's just the way god made them. They have to learn all these things, too You know, it's not the the child's fault that they teething and hurt and get frustrated You know, but it's our fault if we lose our cool you know when the kids are fighting when when our patience is being tested and all we end up doing is just yelling or worse you know that that is Uh, there's no excuse for that. We need to work on that. We need to rule our spirit in this area Because you know, how how is parenthood a trying of your patience? Let's just think of some some ways here. How about this? You're responsible for teaching people who know nothing everything How can that not be a testing of your patience and you have somebody who knows nothing about the world? Nothing about life and it's your responsibility to inform them of all this And to not misinform them to get it right yourself That's of course a testing of your patience and those same people, you know our children they're going to go through growing pains And You know, so I think i'll just end it there I guess the last thing I would kind of say in that point is this is that You know, maybe this is just some random parenting advice. I don't know this really ties in with the sermon But this would just be something i've been thinking about A lot lately, you know for a while now I've been thought about saying I thought this would be a good place to say this Is that I think a lot of times, you know Those of us that came up in in homes that maybe didn't have the best parents You know, they they did the best they could, you know I'm not trying to cast shade on them or bring them down or anything like that But my parents were not the best parents, you know and and Here's the thing. I think a lot of times we those of us that come from that We get so focused on not being what they were which is good to do Look, there's things that my dad was that I definitely don't want to be Okay, you know i'm not saying that to knock him. That's just the way it is. Okay There's ways that my parents parented us or didn't parent us that I don't want to repeat Okay, but I think here's the problem sometimes that we get so focused on not being what our parents were That we forget to focus on being what they weren't does that make sense? Don't focus, you know focus on being what your parents were You know, we focus on being what our parents were or we focus on trying to not be what our parents were Instead of focusing on being what they weren't Maybe instead of asking, you know, trying to not be like them. We should just ask ourselves. What didn't they do? We understand the mistakes they made and we don't want to repay them. But that's that can't be all that we focus on We also have to come over here and say okay. Well, what didn't they do? What can I do that they didn't do? And now you're getting into the positive now you're taking up a level You know just you know, if we the best of our parenting is gonna be well I'm just not going to do what my parents did that's a pretty low bar That's a really low I mean for some of that's a really low bar You know and I I'm not going to say it, you know I could say if me not turning doing the things that my dad did is is the the epitome of my parenting That's a low bar You know what? I mean? Why not focus instead on what didn't he do? Now i've gone from here to here now i'm adding to it hopefully that makes sense and You know, I just brought that up because parenting came up And here's the thing in order to do that. You're going to need patience in order to to patiently Sit down with your children instruct your children bring them up in the nurture admonition of the lord that requires patience You know, it requires that with your physical children or if you're going to go out there and have spiritual children, you know out soul-witting it's going to take patience To gently, you know meekly instruct those that oppose themselves, you know pre-adventure god will give that grant them repentance And that all takes that all takes patience And that's how you rule your spirit and hopefully tonight we we see the importance of ruling our spirit We don't want to be like that city in our life that has no walls has no barriers where every every emotion Just comes in and does whatever it wants in our life. We need to have these walls up We need to learn to rule our spirit. Let's go ahead and pray