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The story of Jacob and Laban's flocks here. Jacob's trying to want to kind of go his way and of course Laban's trying to stop him because he realizes that he's being blessed as a result of Jacob having been there And before we really get into that story you get a lot of this. There's almost two stories kind of taking place here It's hard to kind of cover everything in one sermon I'll do my best tonight to get through all of this but The first thing we really see is this conflict that takes place between Leah and Rachel the two wives of Jacob and you know it always you know it just makes me kind of laugh because you know you hear people You know even Christians say oh, yeah, the Bible. You know is in support of polygamy You'll see people ask questions like hey, it's a Bible teach polygamy, and then I've seen people people where they answer You know so-called Christian say yeah I mean think about you know all these guys in the Bible and the Old Testament that practice polygamy where God You know explicitly says that a king should not multiply into himself's wives that he was against polygamy I mean from the beginning he made the male and female right so that these twain should be one flesh I mean, that's the way God's intention beginning, but man being what he is decided to go ahead and You know corrupt that that marriage that I that concept of being one man and one woman And but yeah, you had people say oh, no God's for it got you know and you know There's Old Testament examples of polygamy It's like yeah But have you ever actually gone to read the examples of the Old Testament where we have polygamy taking place Have you actually gone to read those stories because it doesn't go very well, right? And this is a perfect example of that yeah You know Jacob we saw last week ended up with two wives not through his own Accord but because he was tricked into having a second wife and whether that's right or wrong That's a whole nother debate we can have but you know he ends up with two wives And you know there's a lot of conflict taking place here. There's a lot of You know just tension here, and you can pick it up in the story because you basically in the story you see where You know the wives are competing for Jacob's affection right that he's being pulled in two different directions And one of them Rachel the one that he loved the one he intended to marry is Favored you know she's the one that's being given the attention. She's the one That Jacob is spending the most time with it appears He's the one that he's dwelling with her whereas Leah is kind of being left to herself Right which you know for like you know you feel bad for Leah in the story because it seems to me like Leah It's kind of left out in the cold a little bit right and But it's interesting to me that God opens up her womb right and gives her children, okay? So let's just get into the story here a little bit It says here in Genesis chapter 30 verse 1 and when Rachel saw that she bared Jacob no children Rachel envied her sister so again. You can just see how great This whole polygamy thing is working out and said unto Jacob. Give me children or else I die okay So I'm just gonna make several points as we go through the text tonight the first thing I want to point out is that women naturally desire children, okay? That's just a natural desire that they have you know they unless they've been brainwashed by the world whether they Adopted just you know this modernist Feminist you know ideology that's out there where they're just more interested in a career and things like that It's interesting to me How many times even women who in their in their early childbearing years who forego having children later in life? Regret not having them or start desiring children You know well when they get into their late 30s late 40s You know they were it's kind of getting a little late at that point. You know you're kind of the biological clock You know it's ticking down pretty quick and when you're getting into your 40s Okay, but it gets just goes to show you that women naturally desire to have children You know whether they want to admit that or not no matter how much they try to suppress that that is there right? I mean you see Rachel. What's the what's the problem here in the story? One woman's habit lady is having children the other one isn't and this is like a great source of Envy this is a source of conflict and strife Leia is having these children and Rachel's seeing it and She's getting upset and she's saying you know give me children or else I die right There's this this one thing that she wants to do and that's have children she wants to have children and Rachel and Leia they kind of get into this competition here right where and then they end to actually end up farming out You know their their their own handmaids even so there's four women in this story that end up burying the twelve children of Israel Right, and that's how in it you say it's kind of an odd story and it is and I get it that it's another time in Another place but at the same time, you know It's it kind of shows us to just this desire that women have to have children so much so that they'll even Have you know their handmaids bear the children and the story Leia even brokers a deal here, right? She with these mandrakes in hopes of conceiving, right? Because in verse 14 it says that Ruben went out in the days of the wheat harvest and found Mandrakes in the field and brought them unto his mother Leia, right? So Leia, of course, she had Ruben Simeon Levi and Judah then you had Bilhah who ended up having Ruben Simeon Levi Judah Dan and Naphtali then you have Zilpah the handmaid who had Gad and Asher Later on the story Leia bears again Isakar and Zebulun and then we know the story that Rachel eventually bears Joseph And then when they're returning back in the land bears Benjamin so Ruben is the firstborn the first four of the first four that were born unto Leia But the firstborn of all and he goes out in the wheat and the days of wheat harvest and he finds these mandrakes now I didn't take the time to look that up when a mandrake is I'm assuming it's some kind of does anyone know what? A mandrake is has anyone seen a mandrake You know, there's all these exotic fruits in the world that we've never even seen right you ever noticed that There's like other parts in the world where there's there's food items that none of us have even know about doesn't that kind of bother you It kind of it kind of keeps me up at night Sometimes knowing that there's food in the world that I don't know about now. There's some food in the world I wish I didn't know about right I mean some of these South Pacific cuisines some of these Asian cuisines where things are writhing and there's like Tentacles that are latching onto your face as you're trying to look that stuff But knowing there's some kind of succulent fruit out there that I have never tasted Don't even know maybe it's better that I don't know about it, right? But no one in here even knows what a mandrake is I think it's some kind of a fruit basically does anyone know anyone want to clue me in on this? interactive preaching tonight But nobody knows what a man know or they don't want to say right they think they're being tested. All right, okay Well, whatever it is, you know, it's it's highly desirable. Okay? Because Ruben goes out he gets the mandrake and He brings him unto his mother Leia then Rachel. She sees that you know, these mandrakes have been found and She says to Leia give me I pray thee of thy son's mandrakes So she wants some of these mandrakes and she said unto her Is it a small thing that thou has taken my husband would thou take away my son's mandrakes also, right? She's like, you know, you already got my husband You know, he married was married to me first Rachel and Now you want to steal the mandrakes you want to steal the fruit, right? Sometimes all you've got in life is Food right food is always there for you. No matter what else is going on and wrong in your life Food hasn't gone anywhere food has never failed you right food is always good food is faithful, right? So that's kind of you know what she's kind of saying here, right? I don't know That's what she's me saying but she's she's upset. She's like you're taking everything else from me Now you want these mandrakes to what's the deal and Rachel said therefore he shall lie with thee tonight for thy son's mandrakes So it's not sound too crass, but I mean this is kind of a weird situation where it's like there, you know Basically Jacob's being kind of pimped out here for these mandrakes when you think about it. It's kind of a weird situation, right? She's like, oh, I really want these mandrakes. She's like, okay. Well, how about a deal here? You know, well, I tell you what he'll he'll you know He'll sleep in your bed tonight and I get some mandrakes out of the deal Must have been some good mandrakes I don't know then Jacob come out of the field in the evening and Leah went to meet him and said thou must come in Unto me for I have surely hired thee with my son's mandrakes and he lay with her that night. Okay? So now I who here is ever and you might there's no I'm not really sure whether what's right or wrong here But who here has ever read this or has heard it? Inferred or said explicitly that these mandrakes somehow had something to do with fertility Has anyone ever heard that one of one other person in case I'm not alone on that, you know I heard that and every time I've always read the story I kind of thought that that there's something you know about these Something potent about these mandrakes that have something to do with conceiving children But then when you really think about the story though, and I'm not and maybe that is the case, you know We have to rely on like, you know Some commentary of some archaeologists from way back in the day who wants to tell us that mandrakes were you know? These aphrodisiacs back in the ancient world or something like that, but even if that's the case think about the story right Leah is giving away mandrakes to have the husband So if the mandrakes were what make you conceive then she's kind of like, you know, you see what I'm saying? Like she's giving away the the aphrodisiac and had such in order to have the husband would you you need both, right? Wouldn't you think you need both? What are they gonna do? What good are they gonna do Rachel? She wants to have children You know and the way the story's been told and things people have said you kind of get the impression that she wants the mandrakes So that she can see can have children, right? But if she's giving away, you know her husband, you know that night is that really is there really gonna help now? Maybe she gets him later. I get that to me I don't know where people kind of just lift things out of the Bible They just kind of think oh, yeah This was some kind of aphrodisiac back in the day that helped you conceive children or something But you know, it's interesting too because apparently these mandrakes didn't work Right because Rachel doesn't have children until much later in the story, you know so I don't know how long these mandrakes keep for but You know, I imagine they'd they'd have rotten by brought it out by then So anyway, it's just kind of a minor detail in the story right what's the deal with the mandrakes You know, I just think that it was something that you know Rachel really wanted and they just kind of made this deal the Bible is kind of giving us these details to kind of show Us that polygamy really, you know, God was right. Polygamy is not a good idea. It just creates tension It creates, you know, just this really Toxic environment it just makes this really bad dynamic. Okay puts puts people at odds So it says there and Jacob came out of the field he lay with her that night verse 17 and God harken unto Leah and she conceived and bear Jacob the fifth son, right and Leah said God hath given me my higher because I have Given now when it says the fifth son there, it's it's not it's actually the seventh son. Okay, but it's Leah's fifth Okay, because she had Ruben Simeon Levi and Judah then Bilhah has Dan and after lie Right, then you have Gad and Asher, okay Well, actually it's yeah, it's later than that even okay, so it's it's her sixth son or her her fifth son Excuse me, but it's not the fifth in the chronology of sons that makes sense The sixth son and Leah can seem again and bear Jacob the sixth son So to me I read the story I don't think the mandrakes have anything to do with conceiving Okay, I think he's just it's just she's using this to kind of contractually bind Jacob into getting what she wants And what the other thing we can learn about the story is that God is the one that opens and shuts the womb. Okay Now this might not be something that people are dealing with Tonight but it very well may be something that people at some point in their life have to deal with You know I've known many people over the years that deal with Infertility people who desire to have children and for one reason or another are unable to okay You know The Bible showing us Genesis again in Genesis 30 verse 22 that God remembered Rachel and God harkened to her and opened her womb right and Even Jacob early on in the chapter says, you know, am I in God's place to open and shut the womb? He understands this is God's doing and that's what we need to understand that You know God is the one that opens and shuts the womb that got that the fruit of the womb is his reward Okay, and again, it's his reward. It's not his curse. It's not his burden. It's not his punishment, you know having children is A blessing having children is a reward Having children, yes, it's a lot of work. It's a lot of responsibility But there's a lot of good things that come out of it right for one the human race doesn't go to extinct, right? If one generation all agreeing to not have children, that would be it Right and the command is to be fruitful and multiply but again the fruit of the room is the is the Lord's reward He's the one that gives children. Okay, and So even if we want to say all these mandrakes have something to do with fertility Well, you know they're they're putting their trust in the wrong place and you know There's no mention here that these mandrakes had any kind of a potent effect To where it actually helped children conceive in the story in the chapter. It's God. That's remembering Rachel. It's God That's looking upon Leah. It's God that's opening the moon not these, you know, these mandrakes not these man-made devices Not these old wives tales That are bringing children about it's the Lord that's giving children here that ought to be a lesson for us today You know if we're you know, if we are ourselves or anybody we know or at some point in our lives struggle with infertility You know, we don't we need to go to God. That's who's going to help us with this and if you study the Bible You'll see that when people pray and seek God that God opens the room in every one of these instances Well that it mentions that God opens the room that God opens the room that he you know, he answers that prayer, okay And you know, sometimes I wonder if the reason why God doesn't always give the children that people desire and there and I understand that You know, there are things that people can do to themselves physically That I mean we might do something to ourselves where we we do make it impossible for us to have children Okay, but I'm just saying in the natural course of things when we're not, you know doing things that might harm our body To prevent us from having children Whether intended or otherwise in the natural course of things, you know, if people are struggling with infertility You wonder if sometimes the reason why they are is maybe God's trying to get their attention You know one of the easiest ways for God to get our attention is allow things go wrong in our life I Mean think about the times you you've cried out to God and probably, you know in a very earnest way It's probably when you're going through something. It's probably when something bad was happening That's just human nature when things are good And this is what Moses was warning them when they you know, Deuteronomy when they're going that they would not forget the Lord They're God When they go in the land they prosper and they dwell in vineyards or homes that they did not built they eat of vineyards They did not plant when God just blesses them immensely that they would forget the Lord They're God because that's human nature when things are going. Well, we have all this prosperity You know, that's when we kind of forget about God God takes a backseat You know, and sometimes God lets the let's things get lean sometimes God lets us go through difficult things Sometimes God lets us go through trials tribulations so that we would seek him, right And that's you know, that's a good thing, you know because the God, you know a broken and contrite spirit God will not refuse or despise And you know if we're if we're going through something if we're having difficulty, you know Maybe it's just God trying to get our attention. Hey, you know, let's Let's work on some stuff, right? You know that might be the case sometimes even an infertility right Rachel eventually bears children years later the mandrakes are long gone, you know whether they had anything to do with it anyway, and Maybe somewhere along the line Rachel realizes, you know, it's God like it's like my husband said God is the one that's in the place of opening and shutting the womb So there's a couple things we can learn from this first part of the chapter here. Is that You know one women desire children That's it. That's a god-given instinct to have children It takes you know a bunch of you know, it takes a lot of institutions It takes a lot of brainwashing to kind of convince them. Otherwise You know try to make them think contrary to their own nature But you know it that's something that's just ingrained in every woman to have children Okay and the other thing we can see from this also is that God's the one that opens and shuts the womb and Lastly not that it's a big problem here, you know outside of maybe some parts of Utah In Northern Arizona, we don't have you know, polygamy is not the is not good Polygamy is a hurtful thing, right? Think about how Leah is very lonely here, right kind of put yourself In her shoes, right? She's she's the rightful wife and she's kind of being denied here right she has to literally Hire her own husband to have that relationship with him. That's kind of sad when you think about it Look at verse 20 of Genesis 30 and Leah said God hath endued me with a good dowry Now will my husband dwell with me because I have borne him six sons and he called his name zebulun, right? So she's she's trying you can get the sense that you know now my husband's gonna love me now He's gonna want to dwell with me because I'm the one that's bearing The bulk of the children here, right? She's the one that's had half of the tribes, right? She's the one that's the born the most children unto him. So she in that statement just kind of smacks with Sadness when you think about it now will my husband dwell with me. I mean, well what's been wrong up until this point? Well, the problem is is that Jacob never never really loved her that he was in love with Rachel and he got into this polygamous situation And you know, this is something that husbands need to be careful not polygamy necessarily But the other application we can make is not becoming bitter against your wives not despising your wives You know we as husbands need to dwell with our wives It's important and not to you know, just treat them like, you know, they're just another you know Just thing in our life or something or just another part of our life, you know, our wives are incredibly important You know and they have means they have to be met. They have time needs to be spent with them I mean the Bible and first Peter explicitly says this Okay, it says in verse 7 Likewise he husbands dwell with them wives according to knowledge Right. That's what Leia wanted that he that her husband would dwell with her and then in first Peter He's saying husbands dwell with your wives according to knowledge We should spend time with our wives And I know that sounds like yeah obvious, right? But you know, there's a lot of guys out there I mean we're reading about Jacob He's not I mean Leia has to go at all these great lengths to try and get some time with her husband You know It's out there people ignore their wives they don't spend time with their wives and And It's a shame right? We need to dwell according to our with our wives according knowledge We need to give honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel We should be looking to help our wives assist our wives, you know, obviously, you know, we provide we pay the bills We do all that stuff, but that's that's just kind of our responsibility. That's what we're supposed to do right And we can't just get this attitude. Well, you know, I paid the bills Good enough, right? That's where it ends, you know We have to be make we have to make sure that we're you know Spending time with them helping them giving honor to them And and so on and so forth now, let me get a little bit and this might make people a little uncomfortable Talk about from pulpit, but the Bible addresses this so I'm gonna dress lit. Okay Physical relations should not be denied from spouses Okay, and that that needs to be said that that is one way to destroy your marriage very quickly When you start using that physical relationship as some kind of a carrot on a stick or a Reward or two to manipulate people to get what you want. It's not right. Okay, go to 1st Corinthians 7 It's important that we read this good. Look the Bible addresses it. So I'm gonna talk about it, right? Isn't that what's going on in story tonight? It's it's about it's it's all revolving around the physical relationship between man and wife man and wives in Jacob's case Right, and you see these two ladies that they desperately want to have children they want to bear children Well, they need their husband for that And it seems like you know Leah is being ignored in this area where she has to you know Use these mandrakes to bribe her own husband so that she can have children and have this physical relationship and to have time with her husband and These physical relationships are not to be denied spouses whether it's wife denying husband or husband denying wife It says in 1st Corinthians chapter 7 verse 3 let the husband render unto the wife do benevolence and That's the Bible's, you know tasteful gentle way of talking about that rendering do benevolence. It's talking about the physical relationship the act of intimacy between husband and wife between man and woman and Likewise also the wife or the husband it goes both ways, right? The wife hath not power over her own body, but the husband ha ha ha All right, all the guys are like, yeah Glad I came to church tonight, right? He will wait a minute and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife So if the wife has that need expresses that it's the husband's duty and job to fulfill that need whether he feels like it or not and vice versa, okay If if the husband has that need it has a man often do you know, it's the wife's responsibility to You know deliver that to her to him to because her body is not her own and his body's not his own That's what the Bible just said You know, if you think that's talking about something else come talk to me at the sermon. I would love to know But it's I think it's explicitly clear. It's very well understood have been preached many many thousands of times That's exactly what this is talking about Verse five to fraud not you not one another except to be with consent for a time. They may bring yourselves Give yourselves to fasting to prayer and come together again that Satan tempt you not for your incontinence Incontinency right your inability to contain yourself. That's what it means to be incontinent Right to not withhold not to be able to exercise self-control right in this area And if that's that's what he's saying here is like if this relationship is not taking place between husband and wife You're leaving the door open for temptation to seek to fulfill those desires through other means and Worst of all obviously being adultery Going out and committing adultery, you know, that's a punishment that in the Old Testament was punishable by death. Okay? So he's saying here look, you know unless it's for a time right unless you agree together like hey We're gonna not have this union For a time that we may give ourselves a prayer and fasting so, you know, some people ask well Well, how often should that be? Like how often should people and husbands and wives get together like that Well, first of all, it's kind of a personal question right and Every people are different. Okay, and you know people as they go through life, you know that Desire waxes and wanes and grow strong at our time, you know, there's there's seasons to all that I get that But how about it just a general guideline ask yourself this how long would you go without eating? Now if you're anything like me it's not long Three four hours, you know, you know aside from the time you're sleeping, you know Right. It's like a daily thing, right? That's that's you know, that's probably a good principle right there I wouldn't go any longer without that relationship than I would not eating I Think the longest, you know, I don't remember exactly but if you've ever done any kind of fasting, you know, you can go several days You know, but that that's pretty extreme isn't it if you ever if you ever fasted for seven or eight days nine days That's that's a long time When you find yourself just like smelling food just standing over a plate of food. Just like wafting at your nose like right Has anyone ever experienced this I'm here I did a fast once it was just like my wife was cooking And I this is for physical reasons. Okay, so it was this is for weight loss reasons and other reasons So it's I didn't just lose my reward just now, okay But she'd be cooking for the kids because obviously I'm the only one fasting and I would come in the kitchen when she's cooking And I would just stand over the plate and whatever she's cooking. I just smell it But isn't that a perfect picture of what happens when you go without some physical need You know to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet, but the full soul loatheth and honeycomb You know the guy that's full isn't going to be attempted by other things, you know, if I'm if I'm you know Eating a good meal Tonight as I did, you know eat a nice pork chop and some some rice You know, I'm not gonna be tempted on the way home to you know, jerk the wheel into Arby's down the road here Or Taco Bell right now if it's canes it's another snow skin, right? But I'm gonna be able to go home and you know have a light snack and go to bed Why cuz Matt need has been met right it's it's a great analogy it's a great picture You know and that's a very you know say hunger is a very real need. Yeah. Well, so is the the need for a physical relationship that's a very that's a god-given desire that's just put into us and It's needs to be met within the bounds of marriage, I mean that's one of the major It's one of the main reasons to get married And that you know, that's and that's not a You know, that's not a carnal thing to say that's the truth You know, it's better to marry than to burn the Bible says You know if we're burning with our lost if we're struggling in that area, you know, we should get serious about finding a spouse Make it, you know mission priority number one To go find that spouse and have that need met Because you'll end up resorting to other things. You will you'll pull that you'll find yourself in Jack in the Box Yeah, right. I Mean you get hungry enough. Even I've eaten a jack-in-the-box one time once years ago We didn't have it where I'm from we moved to Phoenix It's like oh you got to get the 99 cent tacos or something like that. Couldn't even finish. It's disgusting It's the worst it's like who eats that stuff Jack in the Box. Yeah, I call it something else I won't say that from the pulpit Asked me later, right But you know, that's it's the same analogy, you know If that relationship isn't there between man and wife that those physical needs are met You know the husband or the wife is gonna start, you know, looking at the drive-thru at work You know that office worker that they didn't care for all of a sudden When things are going bad at home when there's tension at home when there's resentment and bitterness and anger and envy and and people are holding out on each other and Denying each other, you know, it's not gonna go away they're gonna start looking elsewhere and then next thing, you know, they're gonna be in the bosom of a stranger As the Bible says so it's it's a serious issue I mean, it's that's why else would the Bible take the time to address this in first Corinthians Why else would Paul take the time to write about something like this unless it was a major issue And the Bible addresses it. It's important and he's spending several verses here on this right and he's warning us He's saying look if you do this if you deny each other don't go too long Because you'll be tempted and you'll be tempted by Satan right? Let's Satan tempt you for your incontinency So, you know that and that's what we see taking place in the story tonight you say where did that come from Well, Leah's being denied you know at least enough so to where she feels like she has to you know, Take her mandrakes and and hire her own husband to come in into her. That's what she said. I've hired thee tonight That's a sad thing And when we think about you know that specific situation with Jacob and you know Being married to Leah a woman that he you know was tricked into marrying by her father as we read last week if you know the story and Also being married to Rachel the person for whom he labored for seven years and it says that those seven years What seemed to a few days on him for the love wherewith he had her so he's married to a woman that he loves very deeply But then he's also married to a woman that he's not in love with Right, and this should be another lesson to us that we should marry for love and love alone And that's not me just being up here being a hopeless romantic, okay? People should marry people that they genuinely and sincerely love Because that's who you're gonna want to spend your time with Right you end up married to a Leah that you someone you don't love and I don't think that Leah was an unlovable person There's nothing in there. It says she was bad or a bad person. She was just you know, he not attractive He wasn't attracted to her whatever It's not who we wanted right whatever beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I get it. Okay? But if we're married to somebody that we don't love, you know, we're not going to treat them the way we should it's just a fact You know, sometimes my wife will get after me a little bit because I I can't when she started coming around and you know I kind of played hard to get if you can believe it And I didn't even have a lot of options In fact, you know, but that was a part of the reason why because I wanted to make sure I wasn't just marrying somebody for their principles I Wasn't just gonna marry somebody because we both believe the Bible now look you should marry somebody that believes the Bible I'll say that again. You should marry somebody that believes the Bible. That's a good place to pipe up say amen right there guys Because that's important be not only equally yoked with unbelievers Okay, I don't care how good-looking she is how good-looking he is if they don't believe the Bible if they don't love God You should go running and screaming in the other direction unless you don't love God or and you don't believe the Bible then maybe two Or maybe it's a match made in hell right But you should you know marry people not just for the principles yeah great she's saved she's a Christian She's in church three times a week. She's got the standard. She believes all the right things about, you know childbearing and staying home She's she believes it. She's gonna practice it. She's sincere great. Do you love her? I Think she's cute You know my pastor before he married us. I remember he took me in the office He sat me down and said can you live without her? And of course I could live without it, but I didn't want to Right. It's not like I was gonna you know, it's not like lay it lest I die You know what? I mean like obviously yeah life's gonna go on but I didn't like the idea of life without her and He kind of asked me that because he wanted to make sure I do you really love this person You know, and that's advice I've you know, the people if you can live without them do it Because you might find yourself wishing you had at some point if you marry the wrong person It's true Look there's people that get married and they end up hating each other They end up they end up hating each other more than they hate anybody else on the planet It happens all the time folks marriage is a serious thing It's important and it should not be taken lightly Okay, it's a it's a very important relationship. It's the most important relationship. You're gonna have outside of Christ Okay, your relationship with God is a relationship with your spouse So make sure you go about it correctly Marry for love. Okay, great. She checks all the boxes great. He checks all the boxes great. Do you love them? Are you gonna be able to to look that person in the face for the rest of your life? Do they get you right that's how I knew my sister told me one time you'll she's like you got to find somebody who can handle how weird you are and Then my wife came along right and I knew her older brother for like years before I didn't even know it was her brother It's like oh, that's your brother and we got along and you know It made sense, right? I was like he's kind of weird. I'm kind of weird. You know, I the humor was there Why it was a good fit right You get you great they check the boxes great they're in church great they're saved great They're new IFB independent fundamental soul winning fireman. They hate the fag all this stuff You know, they're just blah blah blah. Yeah, but do you love them? Can you stand being around them? Can you can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with that person? That's a you know, you got to ask that's what that's what you're signing up for a marriage Okay, because divorce is not an option and if you think it is don't get married because it that's probably what will happen The first sign of struggle the first time things get rough the first time, you know, you think you married the wrong person You're out you're gone or they are So take it seriously marry somebody you love look at the story tonight What else do you want me to preach tonight? I mean what else am I supposed to preach out of the story? That's what's going on Leah's, you know being ignored. Leah's having to hire her own husband. She's the first wife You know, she seems like you know, that's where it should have ended you got tricked tough, you know Maybe you should have talked to her on the honeymoon. I don't know You know that that part of stories boggles my mind's like how does he not find out till the morning You know, you know, thank God for indoor lighting I guess But you know that that's what's happened, you know, that's who you're stuck with oh Just have another wife, you know the and then someone gets ignored you marry the person you don't love you marry the person Not a bad person, but you don't want to be around them Maybe they check all the boxes, but they're your personalities don't mesh Well, it's gonna be a long life so take it seriously and Don't get tricked in a marriage like like Jacob did Don't let other people trick you in a marriage. I Know people like this their pastors will come to them and say oh, it's God's will for you two to get married Can't you see it? divorced today those same two people Because they just listen to somebody else. Oh, well, my pastor said it was God's will for me to marry that person And then they're both going why did God let us get married. We hate each other Because you let somebody else tell you You know what God's will is for you And you know, that's another thing that that's a whole nother sermon right there You know people get so worked up about God's will like there's one specific person. You must marry You're the problem with that is is like what if what if you get convinced later that you married that you missed out on God's Will they're like you got it wrong Then things get weird trust me I could tell you stories where people are like Well, it was never God's will for me to get married to this person So maybe I should just get divorced to go get married to another person Or maybe it's okay for me to go commit adultery on that person Right Don't fall for this whole thing about all there's only one specific your soulmate. It's a bunch of hogwash. Okay? Are you a man? Are you a woman? Okay, it's gonna work Okay Believe me physically you're compatible You know, don't fall for this other thing. Well, I got it. I got a trial the milk before by the cow Right. No, that's wrong. Milk's milk my friend Okay, I get some of its 2% Whatever Okay, milk's milk. Well, I got to see if we're physically compatible You'll figure that out on your wedding night pretty quick that you are okay You see if you're compatible, you know as a person and you know personality wise right Marry for love make sure yeah, they got all that. They check all the boxes great You know and and maybe and hopefully this person will be thinking the same thing whoever it is You're gonna marry they're gonna marry for love. So maybe that would can you know cause you to be a more lovable person? right That's how that would work Don't get tricked in a marriage by others. It doesn't matter how well they're gonna fit in with the family It doesn't matter how well the family likes them Because I got here's news for you when you get married. It's a new family. You're your own family now I mean, it's great when in-laws can get along You know, I've got a great mother-in-law lover Wasn't as good as my wife's mother-in-law You Guys could think about that get back to me later, right Cuz that's my mother. Okay, I wouldn't want to disrespect her, right? But you know, it's great when in-laws going is that but there's that like a necessity my mold the in-laws have to get along Says who what does it matter? It's great if it works out that way But you know if that would you be more concerned like do you actually love this person? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with this person? Does the idea of not having them in your life? Is that bother you or does that something you can be like I'm okay with that then that's probably not the person for you So, you know that's I'm just preaching through the chapter tonight folks, I mean there's so much here It's so many, you know, we just read these little facts about these stories But there's so much going on with the dynamics there with Leia and Rachel and Jacob and the whole situation However, and there's things that we can learn from this Then of course, you know the latter half of the story is where you have the whole thing playing out with with Laban his his father-in-law I Don't know if we're gonna have time to get through all of it tonight Let's let's try to get through it quickly though because I don't I don't think that there's a whole lot I think we all know this the story here, but basically, you know after Rachel has Joseph Then it comes to pass verse 25 That Jacob says unto Laban his father-in-law send me away. Give me that I may go into my own place in my own country Just ties in right with the point. I just got done making that in-laws are an afterthought when it comes to your marriage, okay? He's like cuz he's gonna go do his own thing, right He's gonna go live and start his own family and go be his own thing. He doesn't have to have Laban constantly in the picture Give me my wives and my children for I have served thee and let me go for thou knowest my service Which I have done unto thee and Laban said unto him. I pray thee if I found favor in that eyes Terry for I have learned by experience that the Lord hath blessed me for thy sake So Jacob saying let me go. I want to take what's mine and leave and Laban saying no, no, no, don't go I need you to stay here because you being here has made me incredibly wealthy, right? I have learned by experience that our Lord hath blessed me for thy sake right and What we can learn from this is that it pays to be a profitable employee Because that's what Jacob is and he gets into it next week He explains all the stuff he put up with all these years that he's been serving Laban, but he's been faithful He's been steady God's been blessing him Laban recognizes it and he doesn't want to lose him Is he worried about him taking his two daughters away and his grandchildren? No Laban wants him to stay because he wants the sheep and the goats and the herds to continue to grow That's what he's got. He sees Jacob is just to change change change change. He's just hearing the register That's what's going on here Which you know tells you a little bit about Laban, okay? But you know, it's also the lesson we can learn is if you don't want to be somebody that's let go at work Then you better be somebody that's worth keeping around Right because things get lean, right Things, you know economy shrinks people start getting laid off you know, they sit, you know, the the higher up sit down with a list of names and It's no longer. Whoever has a pulse that can stay It's like who's actually bringing something to the company who is actually contributing To the profitability of this company. Who can we not afford to let go or lose? You know, not everyone makes that list The guy that just you know is late to work first hit last one there first one to leave Complains when he's there You know takes long breaks You know doesn't get anything done. It's constantly making mistakes Back talks his supervisor back talks about talks smack about, you know, the boss behind his back That's that's the guy that's like, all right. Well, we don't need him Because we can find you know, some jerk with the pulse anytime There's a line around the block and when things get better then we'll go find another one of those but we need the guy that's diligent the guy that's puts up with things the guy that works hard the guy that's out there as Jacob goes on explains the next chapter in the frost in the heat in the day in the night Working hard being diligent, right? That's that's who you want to be You know and that and you'll get a sense of that how important that is when you're married and have kids Just trust me. It's important. Okay, and He wants him to stay because he wants the blessing to continue And of course they had this argument where he says, you know appointing my wages and I will give it And he said I'm down. Oh us. I have served thee how that cattle was with me and And he's just asking him to be let go to be able to go and do his thing But you know, I probably have to finish the rest of this up on Sunday night just because I'm there's just there's just too much Here. I don't want to gloss over there. I think this is like a whole nother Lesson that we can learn out of the story, but it was important to take the time to talk about this dynamic in the beginning Now maybe you're a single guy here a single girl that you know, this isn't making you know You say what do I get out of this? Well, like hopefully you don't stay like that forever You know one day hopefully you're gonna find somebody that can actually put up with you Right like I did, you know who can handle how weird you are as it was told me, right? And you know, you'll you'll know what to look for in that person, right? you'll find somebody that you love someone you want to be with and Then you'll learn some things tonight about what it takes to make a marriage work You know a little and I know we didn't go into great depth But you know, we covered a couple things men need to dwell with their wives not just treat them like they're you know Just another burden to be born That they're just another, you know Responsibility in life, you know, they're supposed to be our companions our friends You know, it's it's great to have that in your life And of course marriage is where that physical relationship is supposed to be met and we should never Withhold that from our spouses because that creates all kinds of problems that you don't want to deal with. Okay? And you know when you get married make sure you marry for love marry up somebody you want to be with And that's you know, that's the number one thing but you know as we got into a little bit too You know when it comes to being a hard worker, you know, that's what's gonna make you valuable. Let's go ahead close the word prayer