(Disclaimer: This transcript is auto-generated and may contain mistakes.)

Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Oh is on a second oh oh word oh oh welcome to verity baptist church let's just go through a couple things quickly first let's count up any salvations that we have anybody have any salvations to report from this past week two three all right anybody else four two three four who's got five anybody so i feel like i'm at an auction right keep rising the price no anybody else all right great job everybody of course we do have soul winning this afternoon and also after soul winning today we do have our monthly prayer meetings so anyways that's it for announcements well brother marlin lead us all right next song is singing number 262 let's sing the song the light of the world is jesus game number 262 let's sing the song the light of the world is jesus the whole world was lost in the darkness of sin ready on the first sing the world is now i can see the light of the world is jesus i can see darkness sweetly me i can see heaven is once god let's take our offering so amen for scripture reading please open your bibles to the book of song solomon psalm solomon chapter 8 last chapter of psalm solomon psalm solomon chapter 8 please say amen if you're there amen psalm solomon chapter 8 and it's our custom we will be reading the entire chapter psalm solomon chapter 8 verse 1 oh that that word as my brother that sucked the breast of my mother when i should find thee without i would kiss thee yea i should not be despised i would leave thee and bring thee into my mother's house who would instruct me i would constantly to drink of spice wine the juice of my pomegranate his left hand should be under my head and his right hand should embrace me i charge you daughters of jerusalem that you steer not up nor awake my love until he please who is this that cometh up from the wilderness leaning upon her beloved i raise thee up under the apple tree there thy mother brought thee forth there she brought thee forth at barely set me as a seal upon thine heart as a seal upon thine arm for love is strong as death jealousy is cruel as a grave the coast thereof are coats of fire which have the most vehement flame many waters cannot quench love neither can the floods drown it if a man would give all the substance of his ass for love it would utterly be condemned we have a little sister and she hath no breasts what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for if she be a wall we will build upon her a palace of silver and if she be a door we will enclose her with boards of cedar i am a wall in my breast like towers then was i in his eyes as one that found favor solomon had a vineyard at bahlamon he let out the vineyard into keepers everyone for the fruit thereof was to bring a thousand pieces of silver my vineyard which is mine is before me thou solomon must have a thousand and those that keep the fruit thereof 200 thou that dwells in the gardens the companions harken to thy voice cause me to hear it make haste my beloved and be the light to a row or to a young heart upon the mountains of spices blessing of god's word let us pray forget in heaven we thank lord for the state to given to us at privilege we bless his lord for this day and the privilege will give us good weather for our soul winning our fellowship later on i pray that you would also bless the preaching of your word lord in the future we have today in jesus name we pray amen all right we're in song of solomon chapter eight this is the last chapter in this book and i've really enjoyed preaching through this there's a lot of great information it's a really interesting book i believe chapter eight's the most interesting chapter i believe there's the most information that we can learn so yes it is the last chapter but i encourage you to pay attention take notes there's a lot of interesting information in this chapter so starting at verse number one it says oh that thou wert as my brother that sucked the breasts of my mother when i should find thee without i would kiss thee ye should not be despised now there's a lot of information in this verse and what she says there at the beginning is oh that thou wert is my brother that sucked the breasts of my mother you say what is that referring to it's referring to a mom breastfeeding her child oh that thou wert as my brother that sucked the breasts of my mother referring to a mom breastfeeding her child okay and as i talked about last week that is a normal part of life moms breastfeeding their children we live in a society where people have just a couple kids but in the past people had six seven eight nine kids and you know when you have a lot of kids there's gonna be a lot of moms with young babies and they're gonna be breastfeeding those babies and there's nothing wrong with that right obviously that's the way that god designed it it is a natural thing and i do believe that women should strive to be modest when they do that but i also believe that we as people should be understanding that it's not always the easiest thing right for moms and babies i mean it's like you try to be modest but sometimes there's not really as much of an opportunity but the bible's speaking about that but here's the thing it's using that as an example and she's saying i wish you were like my brother that sucked the breast of my mother to describe something that would actually be very passionate in marriage this is actually the one verse in the song of solomon that if you understand what's being said not taking it out of context it does make you feel slightly uncomfortable because here's the thing it's normal for a baby to be getting milk from their mom but if you saw a husband and a wife doing that in public you'd be like what is wrong with you right so the question is why is the bible mentioning that she met says it in passing but that is what she's referring to well actually notice what it says the rest of the verse when i should find me without what does it mean by without i mean the bible speaks about being without the city without means away from people what she's saying is when i should find you one on one when i should find me without away from other people it says i would kiss the yeah i should not be despised what does it mean to be despised despises to hate so being despised is to be hated what she's stating is if i found my husband away from anybody else then marriage is honorable and all in the bed undefiled and what's between a husband and a wife in the privacy between themselves is between them right because here's the thing about this i mean people that are married in this room you know my wife and i we have three kids what does that tell you we have a normal marriage do you hate me because i have three kids i despise brother stuckey how dare you have three children right people that are married in this room that have we have i think five moms that are expecting at our church five ladies are expecting children do you despise those husbands and wives because they're expecting children of course not you say why because it was done without it was done away from people and what this verse is actually referring to is it's talking about the subject of public displays of affection we do state that we believe the bible speaks about all topics and we don't just state that we mean it and we might not know where the bible talks about something but i believe the answers are in the bible even if i don't have the knowledge on a topic and what the bible stating is that if you get too inappropriate in front of people as a married person husband and a wife then it will cause people to despise you or to hate you or to look down on you now here's something about this as i said last week i don't think you could really define this part of the body as nakedness according to the word of god okay now i would say it's not modest if you show off this part of your body but you wouldn't refer to it as nakedness so the thing is and you know it mentions that aspect you know something very passionate but it also mentions her like kissing him just thinking of kissing on the mouth or whatever here's the thing i can't say that a husband and wife doing that is a sin i can't point to a verse that would say that but what i can state is if you make people feel uncomfortable by being too close to one another it will cause people to despise you it will cause people to hate you doesn't that just make sense i use the example yesterday you know i often go soul winning in nepo park because it's just 10 15 minutes from my house and often we go there on saturday's and you know sometimes you'll have like a boyfriend and a girlfriend and by the way if you're not married any of this is inappropriate right regardless of whether or not it's without or within right it's like inappropriate but you'll see like a boyfriend and a girlfriend being like really you know close to one another in public like really all over each other i'll just be honest i am less likely to approach them with the gospel than just two other people that are just sitting there right because it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable and i can't say that state that it's a sin i would just state i am one of those people i don't like pda right i'm not someone my wife and i we don't get involved in pda in front of people i wouldn't feel comfortable my wife wouldn't and it would also cause other people to feel uncomfortable as well now this is one of those topics where i don't have a black and white here's the line what's being mentioned in verse one at the beginning intentionally makes us feel a bit uncomfortable because it's trying to prove a point where everybody would say that's that's too far right but where exactly would that line be of being inappropriate well i mean everybody would look at that line a little bit differently me personally i would have no problem with a husband and a wife holding hands i don't have any problem whatsoever or a guy husband or wife putting their arm around each other or even a quick kiss on the cheek or a quick kiss on the lips that doesn't bother me if people go further than that it's like it does make me feel uncomfortable it's like whoa it's like that's too far now obviously you know there are going to be certain occasions for example you know what when when you have a bride and a groom stand before an altar and then they say i do it's like it doesn't bother me if it's a really long kiss it's like they just got married it's like not a big deal or let's say for example the husband's been away from you know on work for a long time and he comes home of course they meet at the airport huge hug kiss that wouldn't really make me you know uncomfortable because that that would be expected right but you know and as i said you don't have a black and white here's the line but i would just say that all of us should strive to have a strong testimony and we should strive not to do anything that would make people feel uncomfortable okay now here's the thing you can't really point to a verse that says somebody is in sin for doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable because i can't point to a verse that would state you know kissing or being really touchy feely is a sin i would just state that it can make you lose your testimony now of course if you go too far there's certain things if you're showing off you know nakedness and all kind that's definitely inappropriate but the idea the bible is trying to state is try not to make people feel uncomfortable based on you know what you're doing around each other now here in the philippines philippines is not really a country as far as i understand that's really you know has a lot of public displays of affection compared to some other countries you know i'm not really sure but the bible is stating you know be careful not to cause yourself to be looked down on based on how you interact with your spouse in public verse number two i would lead thee and bring thee into my mother's house who would instruct me now verse two is one of the verses where people come up with very weird and perverted interpretations and how some people interpret this is basically she's going with her husband to get really intimate and her mom's instructing her on how to do it that's weird that's perverted i mean if that's your first thought i would say look back over the verse and just use some common sense okay i must just not be understanding this verse okay because that is very weird and perverted okay let's look at what this verse is saying i would lead thee and bring thee into our house is that what it says it says into my mother's house what's that called it's called a husband and a wife visiting the mom bring me into my mother's house husbands and wives get intimate in their own houses in their own bedroom not in their mom's house right i would lead me and bring me into my mother's house okay but i said but who would instruct me what is the bible saying who would instruct me her mom is instructing her about something what is that referring to go to titus two titus two and if you're cross-referencing in your head then you should probably know what i'm going to right i mean it makes perfect sense as i said i'm i'm very dogmatic these are newlyweds they do not have children even more so than i was before preaching through this and so you've got a new wife a new husband a new wife anytime you do something and you're new at it you're not going to be good at it there's a lot to learn right i mean i hope that you're studying the song of solomon i hope you memorize it i hope you're really taking these sermons in and everything but the reality is you could memorize this book and know everything about this book but if you're not yet married you still have a lot to learn once you actually do say i do it's like basically getting a college degree and having a 4.0 and being the smartest student first day on the job you're the worst employee because you're new at it you know it takes time to apply that knowledge and you need experience i deeply studied this book right before i got married memorized this book i know a lot of information but then it's like once you get married it's like okay now how do you apply this information right it's like it's a whole brand new thing and so when someone first gets married honestly you know what there's a lot to learn about being a wife a lot to learn about being a husband here's what it says in titus 2 verse 3 the aged women likewise that they be in behavior as become with holiness not false accusers not given a much wine teachers of good things the bible states the aged women are going to be teachers of good things does that mean they're going to preach sermons does that mean they're going to get up here and give no no this is what it says in verse 4 that they may teach the young women to be sober to love their husbands to love their children to be discreet chase keepers at home good obedient to their own husbands that the word of god be not blasphemed what they're teaching the young women is to love their husbands you say brother stucky i mean i i told my spouse i love them you know the day we got married so of course i love my husband yeah but you know what when you first get married there's a lot to learn and you're going to go through trials you're going to go through difficulties and it actually takes time to learn to love your husband learn to love your children look as husbands we're not always the most lovable right i mean there are times i don't have a good attitude if i get if i don't get much sleep it's just like you know what i i'm a very grumpy person right i can be in a very bad mood and short-tempered you know and and you know it it's hard when you first get married both for a wife and a husband to learn to be a good husband learn to be a good wife and if it was so easy there would be no song of solomon right i mean the reason why we have this book is simply because all of us have a lot to learn we can admit that right there's a lot to learn about being a husband being a wife being a father being a mother i mean and it's something your whole life you're going to learn and grow and and learn new things okay and what the bible says for young women it's good at a young age for them to learn to be a good wife to be a good mom learn how to keep the home and take care of things and so here is a woman solomon's wife that is getting instruction from her mom and you know what she's completely fine with getting instructions she's humble enough to realize i'm not an expert now of course you got to be very careful where you're getting knowledge from because if you get knowledge from the wrong source i mean if you get knowledge from the world about raising kids they're going to give you the wrong advice so of course you got to use wisdom but they're getting it from godly women godly women are in general going to give good advice right go back to song of solomon 8 so what's she instructing her daughter about well she's instructing her daughter about how to keep the home how to be a good wife i mean they're at their mother at her mother's house and so it's like i'm sure her mom is is the house probably very neat taking care of things cooking and stuff like that and you say well how do you know that that's what it's referring to the rest of the verse proves it look what the rest of the verse says i would cause you to drink of spiced wine of the juice of my pomegranate you say what's this referring to it's referring to juice literal juice you say well why is she instruct because they had to make juice back then they didn't just buy it at robinson's they had to make juice that takes time that takes effort and that's something that you know what a new wife might not know how to do right i mean basically she's cooking and taking care of her husband so what's happening well her mom is actually instructing her hey you know what here's how you make the juice hey here's how you keep the home i mean the bible is telling us in that verse what she's instructing her daughter about is how to be a good wife how to keep the home that's what she's instructing her about all you got to do is cross reference and look at the context and you can tell that that's what it's referring to i i don't know people get very confused in some verses and they get super poetic with some of the stuff it's just literally juice that's what's actually being mentioned in verse two that's what it's referring to okay verse three his left hand should be under my head and his right hand should embrace me i charge you oh daughters jerusalem that you stir not up nor wake my love until he please verse five now verse five is one of the most complicated perhaps the most complicated verse in this book and so we're going to spend a little bit of time on it and i do understand this verse now but i'll be honest you know i used to read it and i'm like what is going on right it's really hard to figure out what's going on and in verse five what you basically have is solomon's mother-in-law the mom of solomon's wife is basically talking to her daughter okay and it gets complicated because she she talks sometimes in the third person so it gets confusing but if you really break down every phrase you can see that that this is what she's talking to her daughter about and it makes sense because it just mentioned her mother and her mother right so her mother was just mentioned a couple verses earlier and this is part of the instruction that she is giving her daughter now she's going to mention something in this verse that i believe is a hypothetical i don't believe it actually took place she's going to mention a woman leaning upon solomon's shoulder okay i don't think that this actually took place i think it's part of the instruction where she's talking about a husband and a wife and how they're committed to each other but i could be wrong okay but let's look at what this verse is saying in verse five who is this that cometh up up from the wilderness leaning upon her beloved and so here's solomon's mother-in-law speaking to her daughter who is this coming up from the wilderness leaning upon your husband basically leaning upon her beloved okay and then it says i raise thee up under the apple tree so we know it's solomon's mother-in-law speaking because she says i raise thee up so it's a mom of somebody speaking okay and she said who is this that cometh up from the wilderness leaning upon her beloved i raise thee up under the apple tree there thy mother brought thee forth there she brought thee forth that bear thee so this is the mom of solomon's wife okay it's the mother-in-law of solomon speaking to her daughter and she says i raise thee up under the apple tree you're like what what does that have to do with some woman leaning upon solomon get a song of solomon two song of solomon two song of solomon two well when you're cross-referencing the bible of course we can use the entire bible to cross-reference however if it's in the same chapter or the same book it actually has even more of an impact because the same author might say something in multiple ways you know and you can use that specifically i'm sure the apple tree i didn't look it up as mentioned throughout the bible but it makes sense to go to the song of solomon where it mentions the apple tree specifically and it's going to actually give you a very strong correlation and help you understand what's being referred to it says in song of solomon two verse three as the apple tree this is solomon's wife speaking to solomon as the apple tree among the trees of the wood so is my beloved among the sons i sat down under a shadow with great delight and his fruit was sweet to my taste she refers to her husband as an apple tree with the idea being most trees don't produce anything and her husband produces fruit symbolically speaking but she compliments him by saying he's like an apple tree and what she says is i sat down under his shadow with great delight now as we talked about in song of solomon two what she's expressing is with great delight she was underneath the authority of her husband with great delight she said i do and i promise to follow this person and have him lead our home and i'm glad to be underneath his shadow and protection and have him as the leader that's why it's under his shadow right now this does not mean that men are better than women but it does mean that husbands are the heads of their homes that is what the bible teaches regardless of whether or not it's popular and instead of getting mad about it as a woman why not be like solomon's wife that's happy about it with great delight i sat under his shadow right and she's saying i sat under her shadow with great delight and his fruit was sweet to my taste so when it mentions the apple tree she's talking about basically a husband being the head of her of the home go back to song of solomon eight what solomon's mother-in-law is telling her daughter is a reminder that you know what the husband is the head of the home he's the apple tree you sit under the shadow okay now here's the thing if you stopped at this verse then you might walk away and say well that means men can do whatever they want because they're the heads of their home and there are people and religions that take this philosophy they'll be like husbands are the heads of the home so they're not accountable to anyone they can go out and do whatever they want they can just party and sleep around and drink or whatever and they're above their wives so they can do whatever they want and if you just stopped at verse five that might be what you think the bible is teaching but that's not the end of the chapter and it's not the end of the book okay because what's mentioned after verse five is about jealousy in marriage and what she's telling her daughter and i believe hypothetically is that husbands are the heads of the home and there's a woman leaning upon your husband yet you have a right to be jealous about it just because he's the head of the home doesn't mean go out and do whatever he wants and look when you get married as a husband yes you are the head of the home that does not mean you can do whatever you want right to become one and you are bonding to each other your body belongs to your spouse and you don't have a right to flirt with someone you're not married to or have some other woman leaning upon you when you're married to somebody else that's what's being stated in these verses okay verse number six set me as a seal upon thine heart as a seal upon thine arm now what is that referring to because it's going to speak about jealousy in this verse and this is solomon's wife speaking to solomon okay and i do believe it was hypothetical but whether it was or not she's telling her husband hey set me as a seal upon thine heart as a seal upon thine arm why does it say heart and arm heart represents what the inside arm represents what the outside right i mean that makes sense right i mean throughout the bible the heart's the inside and the arm would be your actions or the outside right think about the working hand right i mean so what it's referring to is basically love your spouse and be devoted on the inside and on the outside set me as a seal upon thine heart as a seal upon thine arm because here's the thing you know you say brother stuckey you know what i love my spouse i love my wife i love my husband and they know it i don't need to tell them that i love them they know it inside my heart man i am completely devoted to my wife i'm completely devoted to my husband how often do you tell your spouse that well i said it when we got married i do i i promise to love you forever that's not good enough you might have them as a seal in your heart but you got to actually put it on your arm also it can't just be on the inside how is someone going to know that you really love and care about them if it's all on the inside and yet you never show it on the outside and what that verse is expressing is don't just love your spouse on the inside actually show it on the outside number one make sure you show it to the person you're married to but it also ought to be aware to other people they can tell how much you love your spouse because when solomon's wife went around town it's like there was a banner over me was love everybody knew solomon loved this woman they knew that they were devoted to one another it ought to be on your arm and not just in your heart but you know on the contrary you could just go through the motions on the outside because you want to look the part but on the inside you don't feel that way truly if you get right on the inside it's usually going to work itself out to the outside we understand that and the inside is more important but you've got to actually show it on the outside i mean if the last time you told your spouse that you love them was like three months ago there's something wrong but they know it yeah but you got to show it why would you feel like embarrassed to tell your spouse that you love them that you care about them that you want to spend time with them i mean that why is it so hard to compliment your spouse you can't just have it inside your heart you got to actually show it on your arm and i believe this is true for husbands and wives but i do believe that it's more important that the the i mean oftentimes the wife can feel like her husband's not complimenting her and she can start questioning is my husband really love me does he care me he's not showing to me how much that he loves me as men we aren't always the best with expressing our feelings or saying how we feel but we should strive to tell our spouses how much we love them and care about them it should not just simply be in the arm but on the heart or in the heart but on the arm as well and if not then you see jealousy coming in marriage jealousy can result simply because a husband a wife they do love each other and the inside aren't actually showing that to each other and telling them how much that they care send me as a seal upon thine heart as a seal upon thine arm for love is strong as death man that's romantic love is strong as death jealousy is cruel as the grave the coals thereof are coals of fire which hath the most vehement flame why does the bible say love is strong as death right because you know what when it comes to a wedding invitation every wedding invitation has what verse song of solomon eight verse seven right i mean at our wedding when we gave out invites song of salt many waters cannot quench love right how romantic but you don't always see on the wedding invitation love is strong as death right so what is the bible stating here well go to proverbs 6 proverbs 6 proverbs chapter 6 jealousy is cruel as the grave now it mentions jealousy let me quickly describe you two different words here that a lot of people are confused about jealousy and envy these are two different words jealous versus being envious jealousy and envy okay in our modern day the word envy is not often used i'm also guilty of using the word jealousy for both just because that's the way it's used right so sometimes you just kind of say it what's the difference between these words well look if if somebody stole my cell phone i would be very mad say why because i'm jealous over my cell phone this belongs to me but if somebody steals somebody else's cell phone well that's not mine and being jealous is when it's something that belongs to you and you can be jealous about your own things envy is when it's something that belongs to somebody else you're envious because you want that car you want that wife you want that house or whatever it may be right and the bible speaking of jealousy because here's the thing when you get married as a husband yes you're the head of the home but you belong to your wife the wife belongs to her husband to become one and you are meant to be committed to your spouse so here's the thing it is okay for a husband to be jealous it is okay for a wife to be jealous yes the husband's ahead of the home but what we're seeing is it's okay for a wife to be jealous over her husband if he's not showing you know his love or he's doing things that are questionable or flirting with someone he's not married to it is okay to actually be jealous the bible stating the bible states in proverbs 6 it says in verse 32 but who so committed adultery with a woman lacketh understanding he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul a wound in dishonor shall he get and his reproach shall not be wiped away for jealousy is the rage of a man therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance now the jealousy is being linked with the adultery in verse 32 jealousy is the rage of a man it will make him very angry he will not spare it says he will not regard any ransom neither will he rest content though thou give us many gifts what is the bible stating here's what the bible is stating guy comes home from work and he catches his wife cheating on him that guy is liable to beat that other guy to death and you want that other guy could be the richest guy in the world he could be the bill gates of the world or whatever say i'll give you a hundred million dollars it's like you can give many gifts but you know what that's not going to cut it because his rage he will just beat that other guy to death right it's what's known in law as crimes of passion i don't have the exact statistics but it's a pretty high percentage of murder is as a result of adultery right it's a very high percentage related to this it's called crimes of passion okay and the bible's stating that you know jealousy can be so strong in someone love is strong as death what's that stating it's saying that people actually kill sometimes over love jealousy is cruel as the grave look it's it's literally stating people might kill someone if their spouse was being unfaithful jealousy is cruel as the grave okay go back to song of solomon eight song of solomon eight song of solomon chapter eight now here's the thing jealousy is okay in marriage but you can take it too far the bible's stating something that might actually happen where if a guy caught that he might kill that other guy and it also happens in reverse as well where women would kill you know the other woman or sometimes even both of them when they catch them now here's the thing obviously murder would be wrong okay i'm not justifying that obviously you can take jealousy too far but people make jealousy being out to be like a bad thing it's like well how dare you be a jealous husband how dare you be a jealous wife look it's normal that if you're married to someone and they belong to you according to the bible that you want to know what they're doing with their life not just what you know they didn't come home last night i don't know what happened but i shouldn't ask any questions i can't be jealous are you insane right i mean when you get married you belong to your spouse and and here's the reality when you say i do you are committing to your spouse and you know what your spouse has a right to know what you're doing with your life you shouldn't be hiding things from your spouse and getting them to be jealous because you're not being open and honest about your life look marriage is a different relationship than with anybody else for your friends hey you know what you don't have to tell them everything in your life you don't have to tell them everything that you're doing you don't you don't have to check in on them let them know hey this is what time i'll be there whatever but when you get married it's actually different and here's the thing the bible talks about the spirit of jealousy that can come over someone if you're not being open and honest it can actually cause your spouse to start really questioning things even if nothing is going on it can cause them to start to really wonder right so in marriage be open and honest with your spouse because jealousy is a real thing that can take place in marriage and it says in verse number seven many waters cannot quench love neither can the floods drown it if a man would give all the substance of his house for love it would utterly be contempt now this is a verse that is often quoted it's always in marriages people talk about this verse it's a great verse but i think a lot of times people just look at this verse in a poetic way like oh it sounds so great but did you stop to think about what the bible's actually stating right because many verses we read and until you actually stop to think about it it's kind of like it goes over your head many waters cannot quench love what is that actually saying think of the storms of life that's an expression you hear a lot right churches preach on the storms of life i preach on the storms of life and basically you think of storms like floods and waters and what the bible's stating is many waters cannot quench love no matter how many storms you go through in your marriage your marriage can withstand those storms that's what the bible's stating i mean it's a great verse and it's also a great verse when you actually think about it many waters cannot quench love and what that tells us is that if your marriage gets destroyed and you end it you know you made that choice or your spouse made that choice because your marriage can withstand any storms that actually come unless one of those people in that marriage decides to give up and then you kind of give into that storm but the bible states many waters cannot quench love it is impossible unless you allow it to happen that's what the bible states neither can the floods drown it well think about somebody who's in water if there's a lot of water and there's a major flood i mean people die from floods right you know one of my best friends in college you know drowned when he was 20 years old when i was in college and it's just like you know a person can die from floods that come but actually your marriage it can't be destroyed by the outside unless you allow it to and so that can be an encouraging verse because the bible states you know what you can actually overcome your problems and look i don't know the problems that everybody's going through in their marriage or in their life but the reality is on any topic you know what you can actually withstand the outside storms of life think of the sermon on the mount and how it ends two types of people those that basically set the foundation upon a rock and those in the sand the one in the rock withstands any storms right the winds come and blow a bead upon that house and it's like you have all the storms mentioned in matthew seven but if you found your house upon a rock it will withstand it if you found it upon the sand it'll be destroyed the same thing is true in marriage if you're committed and say hey you know what we're going to stay together forever we're going to fix things no matter what even if major storms do come you can withstand those storms but you do need both husband and wife together on that it can't just be one person both people have to be committed to it now i'm not saying it's going to be easy i mean storms are difficult to go through right for me personally right now in my life i'm not really going through major storms that i know of but what i know from experience is even if you're not going through storms in the present situation you will in the future in some way or another right when you go through storms of life it's not easy it's not fun the easy thing is to just back down but the bible states you can actually overcome it if you have both husband and wife committed to this many waters cannot quench love neither can the floods drown it if a man would give all the substance of his house for love it would utterly be condemned being condemned means to be looked down on and the idea would be if you sell everything in your house and people look at that house they'd be like your house is terrible there's no chairs there's no tables it's just like because you sold everything in the house right and that's what the bible's stating there basically how for love for a strong love and a good marriage a wise person would be willing to give up their finances to have a good marriage right i mean it's like money is not the most important thing in life wouldn't you rather be happy and you know you can be happy without being rich and the bible states that you know what having a good marriage you know what a wise person would be willing to sell all they have to have a good marriage right the bible states in song of solomon eight verse eight we have a little sister and she hath no breasts what shall we do for a day our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for as i talked about a few weeks ago it's referring to solomon's wife's younger sister and she hath no breasts indicating that she is young okay now early in the chapter she talked about her brother breastfeeding so it could be that she's one of the oldest children and she's got a lot of young brothers and sisters in the house you know that mentions the brother basically breastfeeding now mentions a little sister that is not yet physically mature obviously solomon's wife is physically mature so she's 10 years plus older than some of these people right i mean she's a lot older than some of her brothers and sisters and she says you know what even though she's not mature now there's going to come a day when someone is going to speak for her meaning there's going to come a day when there's going to be a guy that's going to say hey i'm interested in this girl once she is actually physically mature once she's older and what are we going to do when that day comes because here's the thing i don't think an older brother or father is really going to be too keen on just giving his daughter over to some other guy right i mean you're gonna be very careful about that you're gonna you're gonna build a what is it a border of what does it say here in verse 9 if she be a wall we'll build upon her a palace of silver so yeah i'm gonna build an entire palace around my daughter to protect her right and if she'd be a door wheel enclosure with boards of cedar like nobody's getting on the inside right and it's using symbolism there to express this but you have to realize that at the end of the day the father is the head of the home and there's a responsibility to take care of your daughter and when your daughter gets married there is a change in authority structure for you as a parent and also for your daughter because your daughter now goes to another guy being the head of that marriage and you are no longer an authority over your daughter they have their own marriage right now here's the thing about this as a father you're going to be pretty protective of your daughter and make sure she's marrying the right guy i mean if you're handing over the keys to something you better make sure you're handing it over to someone you can trust because as a father the bible does teach that you do have the ability to say yes or no to approve or disapprove that marriage and so if you're going to hand over your daughter and say you know what i trust my daughter with this other guy yes you know you can have my daughter's hand in marriage if she is willing then you you're going to want to make sure it's the right guy right it says in verse 10 i'm a wall in my breasts like towers then was i in his eyes as one that found favor and what she states is you know what my husband found me attractive because i was physically mature i am a wall in my breasts like towers you know rather than as it says in verse 8 hath no breasts okay now go to first corinthian seven first corinthian seven now the bible speaking about the proper age for marriage in song of solomon eight verses eight through ten now this is not something that the bible says that basically this is the exact age where it does it does give a scenario we're going to look at but that's not necessarily based on the exact year it's dependent on the person okay let me just show you the verse and then i'll explain what i'm talking about first corinthian seven verse 36 but if any man thinketh that he behaved himself uncombly toward his virgin if she passed the flower of her age and need so require let him do what he will he sineth not let them marry when it says pass the flower of her age the bible's being symbolic to reference a woman that goes through physical maturity okay and she's a woman that is physically mature she's a woman that now has the ability where she could actually have children if she was actually married okay and so the bible states that if you're going to marry someone at the very least if you're going to marry a girl she has to be old enough where she's at that point and here's the thing you know we talked earlier about pda and it applies to this as well you say well what's the line that's the wrong question to ask because for example the bible teaches that men are to have short hair and women have long hair now i got my hair cut on monday right my my hair last sunday was a little bit longer than i liked but nobody would have looked at my hair and said brother sucky's hair looks like a woman's hair i mean look at how long it is i mean it was nowhere near what would be considered long right it was longer than this but nobody could say that it's long i mean unless you're in the military and you have got to have a shaved head or whatever it's like my hair was not long but you know i wanted to get a haircut right and so my hair last week although it was longer was a guy's haircut it was short right for a woman she should have long hair now look in general you know our church people love the lord they know what the bible says they try to apply it you'll notice a big difference between the length of guy's hair and girl's hair you say why because none of us should go to the gray area as a guy i should strive to have short hair like how long can i allow it can i let it grow one more day before i'm in sin that's a dumb question trying to get the exact line to get really close to sin before i'm sinning that's a dumb question it's a dumb statement it's like as a guy i should strive to look like a guy i should try to dress and talk and act like a guy have a hair like a guy and not be anywhere near the gray line for a lady it's the same as well look there's nothing wrong with a woman getting a haircut but if a woman's hair is really short like mine then it's too short because women are meant to have long hair and nobody's meant to have medium gray area we don't know if it's a guy or a girl haircut right no one should be even near that line okay and when it comes to marriage the exact line where it's okay is if a woman is physically mature but why would you be close to that line right i mean because the bible's giving you a direct statement but it's just like why would you be close to that line i mean just imagine because the bible states as a guy you should get the approval from the father to marry their daughter can you imagine theoretically speaking you approach a father at our church and you tell them hey i'm really interested in your daughter i just have one question is she physically mature i didn't know if she had reached that point where she had passed the flower of rage i mean wouldn't that be insane it's like why would you be even near that line like what is wrong with you right so yeah you know the bible states technically yeah she's passed the flower of rage it's old enough but if you're anywhere near that line you're just insane right now here's the thing about this the reason why maybe it mentions this is because you have to realize the age of marriage has varied a lot throughout history and oftentimes it's based on outside factors for example if you live in societies where there was a lot of you know illnesses and plagues and people dying at a young age people got married earlier you say why because they didn't know if they lived to be 30 years old so they said you know what hey i'll get married at 15 because of the fact i don't know if i'm going to live to be an old person right there have been times where factors really affected the age people get married but let me tell you something that is not true and i have statistics to prove this because you'll hear people say well in the past everybody got married at the age of 12. it's normal for you know 30 year old guys to marry you know 12 year olds and in some of these countries and religions they have like children brides is that okay well she hasn't passed the flower of rage it's like she's not yet 10 years old no it's not okay right that's weird right but people say well everybody got married at the age of 12. well here's some statistics and i don't have any for the philippines but i have for the united states in 1890 when everybody got married at the age of 12 supposedly the average age for a guy to get married was 26.1 the average age for a woman was 22.0 for their first marriage now of course you know if people's spouse died they might get remarried it's not factoring that in because that's not the first marriage that would actually increase the age it's saying the first marriage the average age for a woman to get married was 22.0 that's not 12 years old 22.0 is nowhere near 12. now in general what you're going to see as we look at all of these years is there's a bit of a gap between husbands and wives four years which look if 26 and 22 there's nothing weird about that it's okay for the husband to be older than his wife as long as they're both adults right the reason why there's a bit of a gap though is because of the fact especially in 1890 the husbands were the sole providers for their families so they had to save up money to be prepared to basically take care of a home so basically man it would take them a few more years to actually be ready because it's a big responsibility that you're entering entering into 26.1 and 22.0 1900 25.9 21.9 1910 25.1 21.6 1920 24.6 21.2 1930 24.3 21.3 1940 24.3 21.5 I mean it's pretty consistent for women the average age of first marriage 21.2 to 22.0 right nowhere do you see 12 13 14 15 now of course if this is the average age and it's 22 some women would be 18 when they got married well if she's past the flower of her age I mean there's nothing wrong with that 18 is fine she's an adult some people do get married younger my sister got married when she was 17 years old but she was also graduating college so some people do get married at a younger age and obviously some of these things are dependent upon where you live because there's laws and things such as that but you know what 18 to 26 if that's general almost every woman fit in that category well they're adults 18 to 26 average age being 22 years now before we get to 1950 you'll see the ages drop slightly because of world war ii and so people got married at a younger age because a lot of people thought it was the end of the world you thought people got scared during covid it's like people during world war ii they thought this is the end right so in 1950 22.8 and 20.3 well that's still above 20 is the average age and yes they're getting married earlier because of the fact they're not sure how long their lives are going to be they're afraid the world is in chaos but they're still making sure they get their basic education of high school and graduate and that they're an actual adult look no normal father or mother is gonna be like yeah i'll let my 11 year old get married it's like what why would you let your 11 year old daughter get married do you really think i mean are there any are there any fathers in this room you have no problem with your 11 year old daughter getting married it's like come on do you really think that hundreds of years ago most fathers are like yeah you know it's okay it's like and here's what's interesting about this it's talking about physical maturity in you know a time and obviously this varies depending upon the woman but let me just explain something to you a girl that's 12 years old looks at the world a lot differently than a grown adult what would you have to talk to them about i mean we were all younger at one time i'm just saying at being in my 30s i look at the world differently than someone who's really young you talk differently you act differently not even just physical maturity like emotionally and mentally i don't really see where you'd be like like like you know we talked about muhammad it's just like she's the one for me it's like what would you talk to her about right 1960 22.8 and 20.3 the exact is 1950 1970 23.2 20.8 1980 24.7 and 22 1990 26.1 and 23.9 2000 26.8 25.1 2010 28.2 26.1 so nowhere do you see on any statistics that i have and look i would put statistics from further back in history but you're not going to find them you're not going to find accurate statistics from 500 ad so i've got as far back as i can in the us because that's pretty much the only country except maybe the uk where you can find statistics like this but look you're not seeing the average age like really super young right now look i i would admit that yes i do believe that in the past there have been women getting married at an earlier age especially in today's world women are more career women than they used to be so basically they were really training as a young woman to be a stay-at-home mom so you know yes they're probably getting married at a younger age not at 12 not at 13 not at 14 at least not in a normal country now countries with some perverse religion it's like yeah they do a lot of weird things it's like children brides it's like yes my daughter that just got born yes you will marry her you know in in 20 years and you're and it's a guy that's like 30 years old already he's gonna be like 50 years old yeah weird things happen in other countries not in a normal country and not in just a sane society right it's not normal for a really really young girl to get married and it's never been normal turn your bible to song of solomon eight song of solomon eight we'll close up song of solomon eight song of solomon eight and look i also believe that yeah you know what the bible does say as she's passed a flower of rage but you got to use common sense in the society you live in as well that's like at the very bare minimum but i'll be honest with you most fathers don't want their daughters that just reach that age to get married and it certainly wouldn't be appropriate in our country it's like well you know she's 14 years it's that's too young right if you're going to get approval from a father it's just like he's going to want his daughter to be older okay and so look you shouldn't even be near the line of what would be appropriate or not where it's even a question mark it's just and here's here's what you have to understand when it comes to marriage you know in dating what's the purpose of dating purpose of dating or courting or whatever you want to call it is to basically find out if that's the person you're going to marry hey here's the thing if somebody is too young to marry you know what that tells you they're too young to date right too young to marry too young to date now coming from the us you know what's common is is people start dating and they're not even 10 years old yet i mean literally in in grade school you have like boyfriend girlfriend and then they'll kiss and do things like a boyfriend a girlfriend would do it's like they're eight years old it's like i'll be honest because you know i was half a day homeschooled in in high school so i could play on the soccer team and it's like you know you literally get bullied if you've never dated anyone because my parents said no you're not allowed to date you're too young so it's just kind of like you know i was told that if you ever go on any dates you know it's going to be chaperoned by mom and dad it's like well i'm not going on any dates then right and literally you get bullied in school it's like you're 14 years old you've never dated anyone but you know it's just bizarre when you really look at it from a bible standpoint because do 14 year olds or 15 year olds or 16 year olds are they really ready to just and when i say date i'm saying they hang out alone no one else around do you really trust two 15 year olds to hang out alone at a house it's like is that really what you would want your son or your daughter doing i mean i wouldn't trust my kids doing that at that age you're insane i mean make no provision for the flesh and 15 year olds aren't going to get married why are they dating then it's too young right and look obviously every parent has a right to decide what that line is and you know we could have different opinions on that but you know what if they're too young to marry what are they doing dating all you're doing is asking for problems long term and what if they marry somebody else because look 15 year olds aren't going to get married at the age of 15 and then all of a sudden they hang out for a year and then they you know all of a sudden they've got baggage from that previous relationship where they shouldn't have even been in that now the good thing at a church is that as we have a lot of young people at our church and they grow up they're going to know people at our church via soul winning and church and you know what you can form friendships at a young age and not going alone and hanging out with nobody else around but you can meet people that could be potentially be someone that you might marry one day i believe church is the best place to meet somebody right i hope my kids can meet somebody in church right it's the best case scenario and they can actually get to know someone without just like dating privately and away from stuff and actually get to know them and yeah you know what at the age of 15 16 17 they're getting older they're still not ready to get married it's like and look you can have your own opinions if you want but it's like my kids aren't going to be dating at a young age they're going to be too young now you can get to know someone and maybe think towards the future but it's like dating as in you know being and look i don't believe even for adults being alone together unsupervised where you're in a place where where anything could happen i don't think that's a smart scenario either it's like you meet people at church you talk to them you get to know them it's just like you know but then just going privately to somebody's house and nobody is around that is not a safe thing or a smart thing for anybody to do right so if you're too young to get married then what are you doing dating right 12 year olds 13 year olds 14 year olds too young to get married too young to date right so and look you know you might think brother stocky you're being so strict you know what i'm actually glad my parents were really strict now because yeah it was a bit embarrassing right it's just like my parents are the strictest parents but you know what i'm not even friends with a single person i went to high school with now do you really think i care what their opinion of me is i'm sure if i walk back into bridgeport west virginia people are like oh there's the crazy religious guy we heard that guy went like crazy religious he's like leading a cult in the philippines and everything like that do you really think i care what their opinion is i really don't care now whether or not i impress some ungodly person that doesn't believe on jesus christ but peer pressure is a powerful thing right but look when it comes to marriage you know what are you old enough to get married if not what are you doing dating right sulliman 8 verse 11 sulliman had a vineyard at bill hayman he let out the vineyard onto keepers everyone for the fruit thereof is to bring a thousand pieces of silver my vineyard which is mine is before me that was sulliman must have a thousand and those that keep the fruit thereof 200 and the bible is referring to salaries there in verses 11 and 12 and you see sulliman makes more money a thousand you say why he's the one who owns it and the owner should make more money than those that work in a company now in our modern day some people get this idea everybody should have the same salary that doesn't make any logical sense at all obviously the owner of a company is going to make more than the employee you say why because he's the one who has the stress and is backing the company by his finances and put out the risk so of course he's going to make more money look if your first day on the job you say well i should be making as much money as everybody why what skills would you have to warrant that it's like obviously your first day on the job you should have the lowest salary because you're just starting right you can't expect to make as much money as someone who's been working there the whole time and look solomon makes a lot more money it's like how darren make more money i mean he's the owner of it the person who owns it is going to make more money than the employee it's just common sense look if if you worked at a company and you worked there for 20 years and somebody gets hired into the same position as you but they're brand new out of college and they make the same salary as you that would make you really angry wouldn't it i mean you'd be really upset it's like man i've been working this whole time and it's just like i actually had a friend of mine who basically that kind of happened to him he had been working for years and years and years and he was training somebody and making the same salary with all the experience and you know his father reminded him he's like well you know remember the parable in the bible it's like those that were hired the first hour of the day they say i mean you agreed right can he do what he wants with his money and then he of course you know he backed down he's like yeah you know what you have a point but just by human nature of course you're going to be upset you're going to be just like those people it's like i work longer i work more i should make more money right and so that's what i'm speaking about in verses 11 and 12 verse 13 verse 13 is our verse of the week and it says thou that dwellest in the gardens the companions harken to thy voice cause me to hear what is a companion i mean a companion is somebody that you share company with or it's a synonym for friends so when it says companions it's referring to the friends of solomon and what she's telling her husband is that you know what you're a really popular guy solomon everybody likes to be around you everybody's there to harken to you and to listen to you i mean doesn't the bible speak about when the queen of sheba enters into town everybody listens to solomon everybody wants the wisdom of solomon i mean everybody's hearkening to him he was a popular person i mean anywhere solomon went he could have guys to hang out with and people that wanted to be around him and every i mean everybody wants to be around solomon and she says you know what you're around all these people they love you but you know what caused me to hear your voice also caused me to hear it and it's a reminder toward the end of this book about we need to make sure we're spending time with our spouses and not just spending our time just hanging out with everybody else but actually spending time with our spouses and being around them and it's a very basic thing but doesn't it make sense that if you want a strong marriage you got to be around each other right and that's the reminder in song of solomon a verse 13 is a great verse very powerful verse caused me to hear it make sure you spend time with me i know you're popular that's great i have no problem make sure you actually spend time with me and this is something that sometimes both as husbands and wives that we've got to just kind of take a break even if we have all these things we want to do or have to do or feel like we have to do and just say you know what i'm going to actually schedule time to spend time with my spouse make sure i'm spending time with them and setting aside other things that are not as important verse 14 make haste my beloved and be that like to row her to the young heart upon the mountains of spices and in verse 14 she's basically encouraging her husband and working hard and basically you know working hard at your job and from a bible standpoint to us it's like yeah you know what work hard at your job make sure you're being very busy and accomplish something but then you also have to have a balance make sure you spend time with your spouse as well now i love the song of solomon i mean i hope people have learned a lot through this book to me it's one of the most interesting books because a lot of stuff is kind of complicated you got to break it down but you know the reason why i wanted to preach through this book is because all of us that are married have things that we've learned or been reminded about that we can apply to our lives and i can state that studying through this book you know being honest with myself i looked at a lot of areas where i said you know what i'm not exactly you know the perfect husband there's areas i need to improve i need to do a better job and look this series is not about husbands saying that's right you preached against my wife for nine weeks or whatever or the wife's saying you preached against my husband the point is to find your own personal flaws and just state you know what i've seen the mirror of the word of god i've looked in the glass and i do see some problems i do see some things that i can do a better job on and deciding you know what i'm going to actually make an effort to make some changes in my life why so you can have a stronger marriage let's close in word prayer your heavenly father thank you for allowing us to be here today and getting to see your word and asking to help us to apply this chapter but this entire book to our lives and obviously to those of us that are married help us in our lives help us to have strong marriages help us to make changes and and continue to grow close to one another as we get older also ask you to help those that are younger at our church that are not yet married help them to find the right person i ask you to help them meet a godly person and and help them learn this wisdom ahead of time before they even enter into marriage we pray this in jesus name amen amen for our last song let's turn to hymn number 191 191 let's sing the song in my heart the rings amen all the birds i have a song in my i love my heart me in my heart me okay amen