(Disclaimer: This transcript is auto-generated and may contain mistakes.)

We're continuing our series on the family and today we're talking about parents. And so next week we'll talk about fathers and be specific to the fathers themselves. Then the week after that to moms. But today's sermon is just kind of in general to parents. And we have 10 points here today. So I encourage you to write these down. And I did not even try to alliterate, you know, 10 points together. That would have been pretty much impossible. But we have 10 points here today. So point number one about parents is this. Do not bail out your children when they mess up. Basically don't make excuses. Don't bail out your children when they do wrong and make an excuse for it all the time. Notice what it says in Proverbs 22 verse 15. Foolishness is bound in the heart of some children. Is that what it says? Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child. And I want you to realize this is true for every single child. There is no exception to this. Every single child has foolishness inside of them. That's what the Bible teaches, okay? So look, we should not be surprised if kids act up from time to time. You know, one change that has taken place at our church since it started a couple years ago is that when we started, there was very few children, right? Now it's like you have children everywhere, okay? It's kind of a new phase in our church, which is a good thing, right? We have church growth. But we need to realize as young parents that every single child is going to act foolish from time to time, okay? Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. You say, Brother Stuckey, what is the rod of correction referring to? It's referring to spanking. It's referring to having an object that would be your rod that you would use to spank your child. When my wife spanks our children, she has the wooden spoon. Now, from time to time, the kids hide that. So we have to find the wooden spoon because they're being makulid, and they prepare in advance. They're very smart. They're like, let's hide this because we might need to hide it, you know, a week from now when we do something wrong, right? But it's actually, you know, a spoon. So when the children see that, they realize, oh, no, the spanking is coming unless I change, right? And so the Bible says the rod of correction that will drive away the foolishness from a child. But look, that doesn't mean that it's driven away and then it never comes back and your kid is perfect after that. No, children act foolish. That's just the way it is, okay? Turn to Proverbs 23. Proverbs 23. Proverbs 23. But see, here's what you do not want to do. When your kids act up, don't just always say, well, I mean, they're tired, right? Or they're bored, or this is the reason. And you say, well, I'm not going to spank them because here's the situation. And then week after week after week, it's never your child's fault. They never did anything wrong. And you always make excuses for it. And you bail out your children. The problem with that is the Bible says that the rod of correction will drive away that foolishness, meaning it is your job as mom and dad to spank your children when necessary, okay? Now, look, obviously, all of us should be long suffering with these children and these parents, including myself and my kids, because for one, they sit through back to back church services. Did you realize it's hard to get a child to sit through one church service? We've got back to back church services. And I love this setup. But if there's one downfall of that, it's the fact that it is very hard to get young children to sit through back to back church services. We shouldn't really be shocked that, you know what, kids sometimes they act up. And that's why we have the mother baby room back there for the moms or the pregnant ladies in case there's any problems or things they have to deal with. Look, the Bible says that kids are going to be foolish. If you came to me and told me your son did this or your daughter did this, I'm probably going to believe you. You say why? Because my kids are going to act foolish from time to time also. All kids are going to act foolish. They're going to do things wrong, okay? Now, look, I know from talking to my parents that as people get older, they just forget, right? Because my parents say that they never had to spank me. I was always good. I got spanked like 20 times a day. It's like I don't know what they're talking about. I remember my sister didn't get spanked a whole lot. I certainly got spanked a whole lot, right? My sister read books 10 hours a day. I played sports 10 hours a day. So in the wintertime when there's snow outside and you can't go anywhere, you say, what did you do, brother Stuckey? I was tossing balls over the couch and diving after them and everything. And it's like my parents are like, hey, no playing basketball in the living room. So then I got a football, right? No football. Then I'm playing. It's like, don't throw any balls in the living room. So I got a soccer ball that I'm kicking, not throwing, right? This is the way kids are, okay? And the reality is kids are going to act bad from time to time. So if you're a parent with young children, look, don't feel like I'm failing because my kid acted up. They're going to act up, okay? I will say this. If you've either raised children and they're older or you do not have kids, don't make rude comments to the men, but especially the ladies that are raising these kids. Because I'll tell you what, when you're a parent, it seems a lot worse than it actually is with your kids. Whenever your child does something, you're noticing it and you're like, man, this is terrible. What's wrong with my kid? Most of the time, nobody really notices it because it's just reality that all kids act up and you know what, they're young. They're going to make mistakes, okay? But don't make rude comments to people. Whenever people do not have children, they're like the best parents ever, right? It's amazing how before you have kids, you are an expert at how to raise kids. It's like, all right, well, I'm going to write that down. And in two years, it's like, you know, we'll see once you have kids, right? Because the reality is, you know, it's difficult to be a parent, especially in 2021 with the modern world we have and we're all around us. There's video games and these electronics and we're trying to teach kids to sit through the church services and hear the word of God. It's difficult. It's hard to be a parent, okay? It takes work. It takes effort. Look, don't be rude to people that are trying to be good parents. Be long suffering if you've been down that road and if you've never had kids, look, you don't know what you're talking about. That's reality. Proverbs 23, Proverbs 23. But what you do not want to do as a parent is make excuses for your kids if they act up because the Bible says they're going to and you're supposed to provide spanking. So if your child acts up, even if other kids act up and their parents don't spank them, you need to discipline your child when necessary, okay? Proverbs 23, verse 13. Withhold not correction from the child, okay? When you're withholding something from someone, it's something that belongs to them. It's something that they need. It's something that they should have. When it's saying withhold not correction, what it's saying is you are doing a disservice to your children if you don't spank them. They need those spankings, right? It says withhold not correction from the child, for if thou beatest him with the rod, referring to spanking, he shall not die. You say, Brother Stuckey, what does it mean by he shall not die? It means when you spank your children, they don't die. In fact, they don't get injured. They're in pain for a couple minutes, and guess what? You know what? Then it's over. And honestly, they forgive you after 15 seconds, right? If you spank your children and then you hug them and you say that you love them, you know what? They forgive you immediately, right? When I spank my son, you know, then like five seconds later, he kisses me and he's sorry that he messed up. So here's the thing. Kids are going to act up, they're going to do wrong, and when they do, you spank them as is necessary, okay? That's what the Bible teaches. He's not going to die, and he's not going to get injured unless you're doing something wrong. You say, Brother Stuckey, man, I was spanking my child and he broke his leg. Well, you're doing something wrong, my friend, because there's a specific place on the body that can cause a lot of pain with no injury, right? We're not talking about smacking your kids on the face. That's not right. We're saying that there's a place that God provided that causes no injury but causes pain, and it teaches and trains those children, okay? Verse 14, thou shalt beat him with the rod and shalt deliver his soul from hell. It says if you beat your child with the rod, if you spank your child, you will deliver your soul, the soul of your child from hell. You say, what does that mean? It's literal. If you spank your child, the chance of them getting saved is 100 times as much. You say, why? Because we serve a loving God that loves us but disciplines us. And as a parent, you're supposed to be a picture of God and show your children, hey, we love you, but when necessary, we discipline you, right? And so here's the thing. If you don't provide the spanking like the Bible talks about, you're teaching your child there is no punishment for doing wrong. But is that the God we serve? That there's no punishment no matter what you do? No, there's a punishment when you act up. And you need to teach your children, you're a picture of who God is. You're the first picture for your children of who God is. And if you are not spanking your children, you're not showing love and spending time, but also spanking and correcting, you're giving a wrong picture of who God is, okay? Turn in your Bible to Hebrews 12, Hebrews 12, Hebrews 12. Hebrews chapter 12. I'll tell you what, if you have a child that grows up in a church like this and you spend time with your kids and you show them you love them, but you also discipline them when they mess up, it's not gonna be hard for those kids to get saved. Because that's exactly the God that we serve. He loves us, but he also disciplines us. However, if you never provide discipline for your children, what you're teaching them is, hey, you know what? I talk a big bite. You know, I bark really loud, but there is actually no punishment. I say stuff, but you don't really have to follow. Nothing's really gonna happen. Hey, you know, don't take another cookie. And then they take another cookie. I told you not to, don't take another one. Then they take another, hey, I told you, don't take another cookie. And then you never do anything. And they just keep, you know why they keep doing that? Because they know you're not gonna punish them. But if they realize, hey, they see the wooden spoon, it's like, right? That's reality. Hebrews 12, Hebrews 12. I will say this, that as parents, you know, we need to make sure we do not give up on spanking. Because oftentimes people will try something new. It's like they try it out. It's like, okay, I heard this sermon. I'm gonna try it out for a week and see if it works. Look, you know, you're gonna be raising those kids for years. And they're gonna act up from time to time for years and years. And obviously the spanking, it should be appropriate based on what they do and their age. Now, look, we do spank our daughter, Christabel. But you know what? It's a lot less than Zeph. You say why? Because our daughter's, you know, 11 and a half months old. She's not a year old yet. So when she does something wrong, it is not as bad as Zeph, who's doing things very willingly and things that are wrong and whining. He ought to know better, right? But our daughter, you know, we do spank her if we say no and she doesn't listen. But you know, we're a lot easier on her because she's younger. Now, one thing I've heard that was said. My son loves it when I say his name. He's smiling. He's like, oh, you know, he doesn't know what. But, you know, one thing I've heard that is said, and this is true, that, you know what? If you have children, if you discipline the first child, the other children will learn by seeing. And a lot of things that the first child did wrong, they will not do wrong. Like whenever we spank Zeph, Christabel is just looking. Her eyes are real wide. Like, oh no, right? And it's like, it's teaching her, okay? Because she sees the older child getting spanked. So look, put in the effort with those children. It's going to pay off in the long run. Don't give up on it. Trust what the Bible says, okay? Hebrews 12 verse 9. Furthermore, we have had fathers of our flesh, which corrected us, and we gave them reverence. Our fathers corrected us in the flesh and we gave them reverence. We gave them respect. Shall we not much rather be in subjection onto the father of spirits and live? And so you remember it said withhold not correction. So this is in context primarily of spanking, but being corrected by your children. And what it's saying is, hey, we had fathers that punished us when we needed it. And you know, we also ought to be obedient to God. Why? Because that's a picture of who God is. Now here's the thing. A hundred years ago, nobody would disagree with anything I say in this sermon. Because everybody spanked their children, right? If you go back a hundred years ago to, I mean, when he states is we have had fathers, he's saying it's a given. Hey, you had parents that spanked you, but you know what? That's not a given in 2021. In today's world, many parents never spank their children. They try the candy approach. They try the video game approach. They try the no, no, Johnny. No, no, that's bad. They try that approach, right? Instead of just doing what the Bible says. And what do you see in our world? Are kids more respectful to elders and obedient to their parents and obedient and good kids than they were a hundred years ago or 30 years ago or 20 or 10 years ago? No, they're not. The world that's coming is a scary world, my friend. And it's because parents are not disciplining their children. That's a large part of it. Verse 10, for they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure. Now, why does the Bible say that the parents discipline and it's their own pleasure? Well, here's the reality. When your kids are acting makulit, it drives you crazy. And see, God actually gave you a method that you do. It's called spank the children. And you know what? That corrects the problem. Now, what's funny is people will listen to this and say, that's so mean. I would never do it. But you know, those same people that say that, what they do is they let this anger build up inside of them, and then they lose their temper and they scream. And when they do spank that child, they spank them way too hard and just don't hug them. And then the child's crying for like 20 minutes because like, man, see if you would just spank the child when it's necessary and then hug them and say, I love you. This is why you got the spanking. You know what? Your anger would not build up inside of you. But the people that don't spank as much or just always give a second chance and a third chance and a fourth chance, you know what? When they do actually just blow, they blow. That's reality. Okay. And then they do not do it properly. The method God has is you know what? You're doing it to correct and teach your child, meaning you spank, you explain, you hug, and you say you love them. Now, obviously, this is easier said than done, right? Because when you're around your kids and they're acting bad, sometimes you're tired. And the easy method is, hey, watch this, right? The easy method is, hey, here's some candy that will make you happy. Here's the problem. What's going to happen when that kid's 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 years old, and you've always taken the easy way out and they always get bailed out by their parents? Well, I mean, be prepared to visit your child in prison one day, right? Look, we're supposed to spank our children according to what the Bible says. Now turn in your Bible to Ephesians five, Ephesians five. Here's the reality. This is a lot harder for women than men. That's the truth. Women struggle a whole lot more with spanking their children than men. And it's like, oh, no, I mean, I'm just too loving. I don't want to do that. And it's like they always give chance after chance after chance. You're doing your kids a disservice because that's actually correcting and teaching them. And I'll tell you what's not fair is to not spank your children and your husband comes home from work after 10 hours and then he does all the spanking and he looks like the bad guy to the kid and he's spanking his child for something that happened seven hours ago. Do you think that a child understands that? They act up at 9 a.m. The husband comes home at 5 p.m. And the two year old gets spanked. The child's gonna be like, what did I do? They're not going to know. Look, when they do something wrong, that's when the spanking takes place. So who should be spanking the children more, mom or dad? Probably mom. Because usually the mom's going to be around those children more, meaning the mom should be spanking more than the fathers. Right? Because if the child, if Zeph does something wrong to me, I should be the one to spank. Right? If I tell Zeph to do something and he disobeys, I should spank Zeph, right? What if Zeph disobeys my wife? My wife should spank Zeph. Why? Because he offended or did wrong to her, not me. Okay? So look, when the child acts up, it is your job as a mom or a dad to discipline that child and to hug them and tell them you love them. Okay? And here's what you find. Ten seconds later, that child hugs you. They don't hate you. I remember the first time I spanked my child. And it's just like the first time is always kind of scary because you're always wondering when do I start this? And I just remember it's just like then my son just hugs me. This is a while ago, almost two years ago, and he just hugs me just a couple seconds later. Right? They forgive very quickly. Okay? It's not like your kids are never going to talk to you again because you spanked them. They will forgive you. They will not die. They will not be injured. And I'll tell you what, it's going to cause the kids to be more obedient. Okay? My son the other day was at the pool with my wife. Our daughter was at home and I was working. So it's easier just having one of our kids at the pool at our condo they just opened up. And our son is still two years old. He's turning three this month. However, if you met my son for the first time and just looked at him, you'd say he's four years old, right? He's five years old. Big kid, right? Now we have had a problem with our son at the playground and stuff because people treat him like he's a four year old. Other kids, they think he's like the same age and everything like that. And so there was a kid at the pool. I think he was six years old. Is that right? Six years old. And he was bullying my son in the pool. And he's like splashing water at my son and yelling. It's like, no, you're not allowed to be here. This is ours. You got to go and everything like that. So my son starts laughing. He's splashing the water too. He's like, oh, yeah, this is fun, right? And then, I mean, eventually, though, you know, my son realized, like, the kid was really mad. We've been teaching our son recently to say that he's sorry and he's been doing it, although he doesn't always know when to say it. And he apologized to the kid because he thought, oh, I did something to make him mad, right? And I'm very proud of my son for doing that. But obviously in this situation, it's like, you know, my son's two. This kid's twice the size. He's six years old. He doesn't need to apologize, right? And then eventually my son just, like, wanted to leave the pool, and my wife came home with her son. And what's interesting is, you know, there was guardians for that child, and they saw it, and they're like, no, no, no, don't do that. No punishment whatsoever. None. No spanking. No punishment. Just, hey, you know, don't bully that kid, right? And it's just like, that's the world we live in. They don't spank their children when necessary. And look, I hope that kid ends up being a good kid, but in 10 years, he's probably not going to be. Why? Because his parents aren't disciplining him like they're supposed to, right? My son came home. I gave him a hug. I said, I'm proud of you. Good job, Zeph, but next time I want you to, you know, right? And so, look, the reality is this. We need to understand that, you know, the world is not going to practice what I'm saying now. Don't feel embarrassed because the world's not doing what they're supposed to do. Like, oh, I'm too embarrassed. Look, obviously you go to a bathroom or private place to spank the child. You don't want to embarrass them and everything, but don't feel like, oh, I can't do this because other parents aren't doing this. Look, other parents aren't doing a lot of things that they should be doing. Okay. And the other thing is this. If people newly get saved and newly come to our church and they have young kids, the odds are they have not been practicing what the Bible says. So we need to be long suffering with people that are new to this kind of preaching. And they've never heard this because the reality is their kids might be, you know, a little bit all over the place for a little while. It's going to take those parents time and practice. Look, even if you've heard this preaching, it's hard to be a parent. It takes effort. We should be long suffering. And the Bible says, hey, suffer the little children and forbid them not. Why does Jesus say that? Because the kids are supposed to be in the congregation with everyone. And at times they might do something wrong and we need to be long suffering with them. Okay. So point number one, do not bail out your children when they do something wrong. If your child acts up, you need to spank your child, even if no other parent does it. Okay. Do what you're supposed to with your child and don't worry about other people. Number two, do not side against your spouse when you're talking to your children. You say, what are you talking about? Here's what I'm saying. If my wife tells her son no chips and then he walks over to me and asks for chips, I should also say no. Why? That child needs to learn to obey mom and dad. Or if I tell my son, hey, no ice cream, the child is usually going to go to the other parent and ask for ice cream. That's what kids do. But you know what? The parents need to be together as one. You say why? Ephesians 5 verse 31. Ephesians 5 verse 31. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined onto his wife and they too shall be one flesh together united. Okay. Turn to Proverbs 6. Proverbs 6. Proverbs 6. I mean, the Bible says honor thy father and thy mother. Kids are supposed to obey and honor and respect both mom and dad. Okay. Yes, we understand husbands are the head of the home, but you want your child to learn to obey mom as well, especially when she's around that child more often. And if I overrule my wife on something silly like that, then even if I disagree with her, because look, two people are going to disagree about stuff. Maybe if he had asked me first, I would have said you can have some chips, but he didn't ask me first. So if he asked my wife first, I'm not going to overrule her. Okay. Because he needs to learn to obey mom, even if he doesn't agree with her, even if he's upset about it. Okay. He needs to learn to honor and respect authority. Don't side against your spouse. If you have a disagreement that you have to talk about, do it privately, not in front of your children. Proverbs 6 verse 20. My son, keep thy father's commandment and forsake not the law of thy mother. See, we are supposed to teach our kids to obey dad and mom. And if I'm overruling my wife all the time, it's going to teach my son, my wife's word means nothing as an authority. So look, I shouldn't be overruling my wife on something where we might disagree on. If she has made a decision to our kids, I should honor that decision. Now, if it's something major and it's something you have to discuss, but if it's something like, hey, you know what? Are they allowed to do this? Are they allowed to do that? If she's made a decision, no chips, no candy, the decision's final. I shouldn't overrule my wife then. Okay. Go to first Corinthians chapter 10. First Corinthians 10. First Corinthians 10. Here's the thing. If you don't overrule your spouse, your kids are going to quit trying to play that game where they go to the other parents. You say, how do you know that? Because I quit playing that game with my parents when I was very young. You say why? Because if my mom said something, then you know what? My dad would honor it every single time. And I remember a couple of times I pulled a fast one on him where my mom said something. I went to the other room and asked my dad and got him to agree to it. And once he found out, the food went away and there came the spanking. It's like, don't you ever do that again. If your mom says no, it's no. Right. And look, you know what? I stopped trying to go to the other parent because I knew, you know what? If dad said something, it's final. If mom said something, it's final. Okay. You should be together as one. Point number three, do not fight in front of your children. Do not fight in front of your children. First Corinthians 10 verse 13. There hath no temptation taken you, but such as is common demand. You say, Brother Stuckey, you don't understand my situation. My wife did this or my husband did this. I'm really mad. I got to tell him about it. You look, there's no temptation taking you, but such as is common demand. Every single marriage, there's going to be something that bothers you. And you're really upset. You need to learn to control your temper and talk about it quietly. Okay. The last thing you want those kids to see are mom and dad always yelling at each other and always fighting with one another. And I can say I did not see my parents fighting with one another. I remember one time they had a fight in front of us that was kind of a big fight. And I started crying and everything. I was probably like six years old. I never saw them fight again in front of us ever because they realized, man, you know what? This really hurt our child. And you know what? That's going to hurt those children's feelings. They're going to be scared with mom and dad yelling at one another. So if something comes up, you need to learn to control yourself and talk about it when the children are already asleep and quietly to one another. Okay, now go in your Bible to Genesis 25, Genesis 25, Genesis 25, Genesis chapter 25. Point number one, do not bail out your children. Point two, do not side against your spouse. Point three, do not fight in front of your children. Point four, do not show favoritism toward one of your children over another child. You should love your children equally. Genesis 25 verse 24. And when her days to be delivered were fulfilled, behold, there were twins in her womb. And the first came out red all over like in hairy garment. And they called his name Esau. And after that came his brother out and his hand took hold on Esau's heel. And his name was called Jacob. And Isaac was three square years old when she bare them. Notice verse 27. And the boys grew and Esau was a cunning hunter, a man of the field. And Jacob was a plain man dwelling in tents. And Isaac loved Esau because he did eat of his venison. But Rebecca loved Jacob, right? You see that one parent loves Esau. Isaac loves Esau because he just loves that meat. I mean, his son was just really good at cooking meat. So hey, he's my favorite son because it just tastes really good, right? And then Rebecca loves Jacob. So you have parents who love one child over the other one, okay? Well, ask yourself what happens in the life of Jacob and Esau. Do they get along real well? No, they fight with one another. And then Esau wants to kill Jacob and they're afraid of one another and they don't see each other for so long. It has permanent repercussions. And it passes on to the next generation. Go to Genesis 37. Genesis 37. Genesis 37. I mean, there's people. I've literally heard conversations from people in their 40s, 50s and 60s. Well, you know, mom always loved her more than me. Mom always loved him more than me. Dad always loved him more. That was her favorite child. And it's just like they're bitter about it from something 40 years ago. Literally, people have conversations where they're mad at their brother because when they were six years old and seven years old and eight years old, dad liked one child more than another. You know whose fault that is? It's the parents' faults for showing more love towards one child over another child. Genesis 37 verse 3. Now Israel, this is Jacob, loved Joseph more than all his children because he was the son of his old age and he made him a coat of many colors. So Israel or Jacob's favorite child is Joseph. Okay, what's the result in Joseph's life? All of his brothers want to kill him, right? It doesn't give us the exact age. We're probably talking about people that are teens, maybe 20 years old or whatever. They want to kill their brother because dad loves him more than the other ones. You don't think that could happen in today's world where it could cause the brothers and the sisters to hate one of the other brothers or sisters because mom loves this child or dad loves this child more than another one? That's what we see here. Verse 4. And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him and could not speak peaceably onto him. Look, as a parent, I have many goals. One goal is for my children to grow up and love God. But you know, I have a goal that they're also going to love each other as well. That in 20 years from now, my children are going to care about one another and love one another. Not that they're going to hate one another. And look, this happens all the time. People grow up and it's like, you know, you can't get all of your family in at one time because they hate one another. And it's like one Thanksgiving or one Christmas we'll spend with this child, the next one with this child because they just hate one another. Why? Because when they were five years old, mom or dad showed favoritism toward one child. Okay? Look, we see the wisdom in the Bible of not to do this because not only does Isaac do this and Rebekah, it passes on to their children. And then Jacob does the same thing. And the mistakes you make as parents, that will pass on to the next generation. So look, if you show favoritism toward one child over another, it will cause this child to hate that child and it will cause those children to grow up and do the exact same thing. Okay? Turn in your Bible to 2 Corinthians chapter 10. Now, when it comes to being a parent, all of these things are easier said than done. Right? They take effort. I mean, realize your kids are going to be different. If my son grows up and he loves soccer and he loves math, of course I will gravitate towards my son because what did I do? Soccer and math. Those are my interests. Those are my hobbies. But you got to be careful to spend time and love all your children, not just the ones that are just like you. I grew up playing sports all the time, but let's say I have another... Because my son, he seems to like to play basketball. We'll see in 5, 10 years or whatever. But let's say, for example, I have two sons and one of them really loves sports and then the other one doesn't. I still need to love those children equally and spend time with them in the hobbies that they enjoy. And if I do not do that, it's going to cause those children not to like each other and cause them to fight all the time. Point number five, do not compare your children. Not only do not compare your children with your other children, don't compare your children with other children that belong to other people. Don't look at your child and then just compare always my son to some other kid or some other girl or some other boy. Why? They're different. They're different and that's okay. Second Corinthians 10 verse 12. For we dare not make ourselves of the number or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves. But they measuring themselves by themselves and comparing themselves among themselves are not wise. The Bible says it is unwise to compare, okay? Not only it's unwise to compare yourself versus other people or whatever against somebody else, it's unwise to compare your children versus other children. You say why? Because they're different. They were created by God with different strengths and weaknesses. Here's the reality. You know what? Some kids are going to walk before other kids. Some kids are going to read before other kids. Some kids are going to, you know, do whatever before another child. But here's the thing. You know what? They're all going to eventually do that. Does it really matter if your child starts walking at 10 months or 12 months or 14 months or 16? No, because they're going to eventually walk, right? Now, look, I get it as a parent. You want your kids to be the best at everything, right? Of course, I want my son to be the smartest person in the world, the most athletic person, the most guapo. I want him to be the best at everything, right? But you know what? They're different. Kids are different. They have some strengths. They have some weaknesses, okay? Well, we don't, I mean, our daughter started walking before our son. And, you know, I don't really know why, but maybe my son was scared. He had fallen a couple of times. Hey, that's okay, because look, my son walks now. So what if another kid is faster than your child to do something? That's fine. You were given individual kids that you're meant to love and care for and to do your job as a parent to train and teach them, okay? So don't look down on your kids like, oh, man, you know, when Mozart was six years old, he was like doing all these songs on the piano. It's like my son, you know, it's like he doesn't even know how to play the piano. People either they'll compare their children to maybe another child that's way behind, or they'll compare to someone that's just way advanced and say, man, I wanted my son when he was six years old to do his first symphony or whatever. I don't know, right? It's like, look, it's foolish. There's no reason to compare your children to other children. Just worry about the kids that you have been given by God. Don't worry about if they're better or worse at something. Just do your job as a parent to raise them. Ephesians chapter five, Ephesians five, Ephesians five. And look, the same is true for other people in this room. Don't compare some people's kids versus other people's kids. They're different. And that's okay. It's like, man, that child got saved when they were six years old. My son's seven years old. He's not even saved yet. You know, as long as you're doing your job as a parent, they're probably gonna be saved when they're seven, eight, nine or ten or something like that. It's like it's okay if they're not the first kid baptized. It's like we gotta get our kid to say this prayer so he can get baptized before any of the other kids. And he's like three years old. No, I promise you, he believes this, right? It's like, you know, just worry about your own kids. Don't worry about comparing other kids. And don't compare some people's kids at this church to other people's kids. They're different. That's okay, okay? They have different strengths. They have different weaknesses, okay? They're different from one another. Some kids are outgoing. Some kids are quiet. Some kids like to play sports. Some kids like to read. I like to play sports when I was a kid. My sister liked to read. We're different. That's fine. It's okay for kids to be different, okay? Point number one was do not bail out your children. Point number two, do not side against your spouse. Point three, do not fight in front of your kids. Point four, do not show favoritism. Point five, do not compare. Point six, do not give your children free access to social media. Don't just give them free access to everything out there. And it's like, they're five years old. Here's your birthday present, this brand new smartphone, and just, hey, do whatever you want with this thing. That's foolish, my friend. It's like, why does a five-year-old need a smartphone? I'll tell you what, I got my first cell phone when I was a sophomore in college. I did just fine in my life before that. And here's the thing, in today's world, having a cell phone is pretty necessary with a lot of things. But it's not really necessary for a nine-year-old. It's not really necessary for a 10-year-old. Obviously, maybe I'll change my perspective one day, but I don't really see us getting our kid a cell phone when he doesn't need it. Just sit around, play games all the time, and just get into trouble and get into stuff that he shouldn't be getting into. And here's the thing, whatever you let your kids get into, make sure you know what they're doing. Make sure you know what they're looking at on the computer. I mean, you're like, man, I got a nine-year-old. I just trust him. It's like, well, you're foolish then. Make sure you know what they're looking at on the computer. Make sure you know what they're watching on the computer, what they're on on their cell phones, what social media they're a part of, what they're involved in. You say, why? Because of the fact people are sinful. They make mistakes. And here's the thing, I understand the dangers of a cell phone more than my son. I understand that cell phone can get a young kid hooked on pornography for their entire life. But you know what? A 10-year-old, they don't understand these dangers that are out there. And as a parent, it is your job to protect your children. Ephesians 5 verse 15. See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise. Not as fools, but as wise. And the Bible says, don't be a fool, be wise. Walking circumspectly, meaning careful to avoid risks and to protect yourself. And you know what? You should do that for your children as well. Make sure you're careful to protect them. Here's an example my parents did. Because I mentioned my parents a lot because they did a great job raising me. Even though they weren't raised independent fundamental Baptists, you know, they followed the principles of the Bible pretty well. When I was probably 12 years old or so, our neighbors down below us, they moved out. And then two middle-aged men moved in down below us. Now, look, you don't have to be a rocket scientist. You could tell from long distance, okay, these guys are homos, right? They never officially, but it was very, very obvious, okay? Not just because it's two middle-aged guys together. It's just very obvious that we're homos. Now, here's the thing I didn't know. Whenever I was playing outside, my dad told me he was always just in the window the entire time watching every single step because of the fact, you know, it used to be that everybody knew homos were a bunch of pedophiles and rapists. I mean, everybody knew that 40 years ago, literally on the commercials. I don't know about here in the Philippines, but in the United States, there's that old commercial that's in black and white. And it's like this police warning, be very careful. You never know when there might be homos at a park. And it's like they're deranged, they're insane, they're crazy. I mean, everybody knew this 50 years ago. You know why everybody knew this? Because they used to read the Bible. Now, we're doing the New Testament Bible reading challenge. If we're doing an Old Testament Bible reading challenge, you probably would have already come to Genesis 19. You probably would have already come to Judges 19. And I'll tell you what, I'm not trying to go in a rabbit trail, but when you see stories in the news, they always confirm everything the Bible says. Everything, even things that you couldn't even imagine. You're like, man, this could never happen. Well, what does Judges 19 say? It's a whole other sermon, okay? But I want you to realize my parents were very careful to protect me because my dad knew, hey, this is dangerous, okay? And I'll tell you what, if you have children that are just allowed to do what... And look, I see this all the time. Kids around here, they just run around away from their parents and the parents have no clue where their kids are, right? We go soloing and there's like seven-year-olds running around. I mean, they used to run into our church before we really kind of put restrictions there and said, hey, your parents need to come. And their parents don't know where they are. Their parents don't know what they're doing. It's like, what are you doing? You never know what's going to happen to those kids. But in today's world, they just give kids the smartphones when they're seven. Well, I mean, this other kid got a smartphone when he was seven. I got to love my kid and give him every opportunity too to have a smartphone and just watch whatever. You know what, you're setting your kids up for failure. Just because they're in this church does not mean they're going to end up perfectly. You must put in the time. It's like parents will have their kids start cussing. And then all of a sudden, they're like, I don't know where he learned that word. Well, does he have a smartphone? Yes. Do you let him just listen to whatever music on YouTube? It's not a shock when they learn those words. It's not a shock when they learn that behavior. Do not give your children free access, okay? Turn to Deuteronomy 6, Deuteronomy chapter 6. Deuteronomy chapter 6. This is true even with little cartoon things you let your kids watch on YouTube. You know, some things aren't necessarily, you know, terrible. But then the commercials come up. I mean, be very careful what your young child is looking at because of the fact there's a lot of bad stuff out there. Before you know it, there's something from Halloween that's popping up and everything for like a one year old to see. It's not appropriate. It's not right. Something for Santa Claus is popping up. You know, that's a whole other sermon that I've already preached, right? It's just like, you need to be very careful with what your kids are watching. It is your job to raise those children. And you know what? There was a day when children survived, believe it or not, without social media. There's a day before the invention of the television, before the invention of all this modern social media. And you know what? Those kids were probably a lot happier than the kids today. And they learn to play. They learn practical skills. They learn to be polite. They learn to be respectful. Look, your kids are going to be okay if they don't have social media, okay? Deuteronomy chapter six, point number seven, point number seven, Deuteronomy chapter six, point number seven. Quantity is more important than quality. Quantity is more important than quality. You say, what do you mean? I'm saying it's more important that you spend time with your children than what you're actually doing with them, right? For example, you say, Brother Stuckey, man, I got to work 100 hours a week so we can go on this one family vacation for one week during the year. But I never see my children or talk to them other than this one week. Quantity is more important. You would be better off just spending time with your children every single week and just having dinner as a family, having Bible time, singing hymns. Quantity is more important than quality. You say, I feel like I'm failing as a parent because I can't take my kids to these fancy vacations and all of these exciting things. Look, if you're spending time with your kids, you're not failing. If you're spending time and teaching and training your kids, you're not failing. Why? Quantity is more important than quality. That's what the kids are going to remember, okay? The time that you spend, even if it's... I mean, look, my son enjoys just throwing a bouncy ball against the wall. You know, it doesn't cost a lot of money to have a rubber ball that you throw against the wall, but boy, do those kids have fun playing with it. I mean, I'm not going to say the word here because he might get too excited, but when I say P-I-L-L-O-W space F-I-G-H-T, yeah, he's excited. You know what? That doesn't cost any money, but the kids love it. They love doing that. Look, you're not failing if you're spending time with your children because quantity is more important than quality. You say, why? Because kids spell love T-I-M-E. Kids spell love T-I-M-E. When you spend time, it shows that you love, okay? Now turn in your Bible to Genesis 12. Genesis 12. Genesis chapter 12. Actually, go to Deuteronomy 6. I never even gave you the verses, did I? Deuteronomy 6. My bad. Deuteronomy chapter 6, verse 6. And these words, Deuteronomy 6, verse 6. And these words which I command thee this day shall be in thine heart, and thou shalt teach them diligently onto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. That's telling you that you're going to be spending a lot of time with your children if you're teaching them when you're sitting down, when you're walking, when you're lying down, when you're rising up. Basically, at all times, you should be teaching and training your children. You should be around your children. Not just, hey, just go and watch this movie for a couple hours because you know what? I want freedom. Look, being a parent is difficult. It's tiring. It's exhausting. But if you want to do it right, it's going to take time and effort. Okay, now go to Genesis 12. Genesis 12. Genesis 12. Okay, kids spell love, t-i-m-e, right? Now, a lot of pastors in the Philippines spell love, g-i-v-e. But that's another sermon, right? So you can give without loving, but you can't love without giving, right? For God so loved the world that he gave. It's like, okay, are you going to die on the cross or something? It's like a whole other sermon. Genesis 12. Point number eight, you need to set the example for your children, okay? Children are going to model what their parents do. And if you do something, your children are probably going to do the exact same thing, okay? Genesis 12, verse 10. And there was a famine in the land, and Abram went down into Egypt to sojourn there, for the famine was grievous in the land. And it came to pass when he was come near into Egypt, that he said unto Sarai his wife, Behold now, I know that thou art a fair woman to look upon. Therefore it shall come to pass when the Egyptians shall see thee, that they shall say, This is his wife, and they will kill me, but they will save thee alive. Say, I pray thee, thou art my sister, that it may be well with me for thy sake, and my soul shall live because of thee. Look, whenever you're finding yourself lying to cover something up, you're doing something wrong. You don't have to lie unless you're doing something wrong, right? And all of a sudden he makes a decision that's the wrong decision for his family, and all of a sudden he starts lying. That's indicating you you're obviously doing something wrong. And when you go down the road of lying, you have to just keep telling lie after lie to cover that lie and to cover that lie and to cover that lie. When you start lying, you know you're doing something wrong. And what he's saying is this. Hey, this woman is my sister. She's not my wife, okay? But they were married. And the reason why he said that is he was afraid he might get harmed or killed if he was honest about his wife, okay? Now go to Genesis 26. Genesis 26. You say, Brother Stuckey, I mean, is it the end of the world? Because everything worked out okay for Abraham. Well, no, it didn't because going down into Egypt, they got Hagar and Lot had to go to Sodom and Gomorrah because they had too much supplies. The money was actually a curse. But here's the thing. It also gets passed down to the children. If you do something, your children are probably going to do the same thing, okay? And Abraham's son, Isaac, does the same thing in his life. Isaac, or not Isaac, Genesis 26, verse 6. Genesis chapter 26, verse 6. And Isaac dwelt in Gerar, and the men of the place asked him of his wife. And he said, She is my sister. Now, where do you think Isaac learned that from? Probably from his dad. His dad chooses to tell a lie. Guess what? His son does the exact same thing. Look, your kids are going to model what you do. You say, Brother Stuckey, I really want my kids to learn to love to read the Bible and to read the Bible and to know the Bible. The number one way to do that is to read the Bible yourself. And the kids are going to want to do it. The kids are going to model after what the parents do. If you're singing hymns, they want to sing hymns, right? They're going to model exactly what the parents do in a good or a bad way. Go to Proverbs 22, Proverbs 22. It's kind of a scary moment when you first realize this, that your child is literally watching every single thing you do and just doing the same, right? I mean, our daughter, you say, Why does she always swing in her hands? Because, you know, if I'm practicing song leading, she's just like, Oh, okay. And she's swinging her hands trying to do the same thing, right? You know, the Balotico son, you know, AJ, you know, we saw a video. He was doing the same thing that Brother Francis was. He was practicing for doing the song leading. And then AJ is just swinging his hand. Why? I see dad doing this. I want to do the same, right? And look, if you're doing something, your children are going to want to do the exact same thing as you. Just on Friday, Friday night, I was trying to work out for a little while. Our daughter was asleep and our son was awake. And so I was doing, you know, push ups and air squats. And all of a sudden I started doing push ups. And my son runs up right beside me. And I couldn't really call it a push up. But he was on the ground trying to do a push up. And then all of a sudden he's like this, you know, because I'm doing air squats. You say, why? Because that's what dad's doing. He doesn't know why I'm doing it. But he wants to do the exact same thing that I'm doing. Here's the thing, though. If you're doing something wrong, your kids are going to want to do the same thing. You can pretty much guarantee that if somebody smokes cigarettes at a young age, the parents probably smoke cigarettes. And they learn that from mom and dad. And they want to do what mom and dad did. I mean, if your parents drink, you're probably going to drink. Brother Stuckey, why is it you've never smoked a cigarette? My parents never smoked a cigarette. I've never seen my parents smoke a cigarette. I've never seen my parents drink. So guess what? I didn't smoke. I didn't drink. Because you do what your parents do most of the time. And look, you can hear sermon after sermon after sermon. But actions speak louder than words. And your kids are going to want to do what you do as mom and dad. In a good way or in a bad way. So look, as a parent, you set the example and this can be encouraging or it can be scary. It kind of depends on what you do with your life, right? Proverbs 22 verse 6, Train up a child in the way he should go. And when he is old, he will not depart from it. The Bible promises that if you train up a child in the right way, when they grow up, they're not going to depart from it. What if you train them up in the wrong way? What do you think is going to happen? They're going to do what the parents do. You train them up in the wrong way, they're going to do the same thing. That's the reality, okay? Turn in your Bible to Lamentations 3. Lamentations 3. You say, Brother Stuckey, what if only one parent is living for God? Hopefully the kids turn out right. You got about a 50-50 shot at it, right? I mean, I would suggest both husbands and wives, as we talked about the last few weeks, just get on board with the things of God. Because if you want your kids to learn to do what's right, then you both need to be doing it. You say, Brother Stuckey, I want my kids to learn to love soul winning. Then maybe mom and dad should be going soul winning. Maybe mom and dad should look at it as a priority and not just one parent. It's like, oh, man, I'm retired. I had my first baby. I'm retired from soul winning forever. Why would you want to retire from soul winning? Obviously, we understand that, you know what, if the baby is newly born, it takes time for women to recover. And we understand it's difficult, but I'll tell you what, the kids need to see mom and dad on board with the things of God, not just one parent. You say why? Because if both parents do it, those kids are going to do it. If one parent does it, then it might or might not happen, right? Point number one was don't bail out your children. Point two, don't side against your spouse. Point three, don't fight in front of your kids. Point four, don't show favoritism. Point five, do not compare your children to other kids. Point six, do not give your kids free access. Point seven, quantity is greater or more important than quality. Point eight, set an example. And point nine, we kind of touched on this, but teach your children, okay? And I'm not just referring to the Bible, but in all areas of life. When a baby is born, they don't even know how to walk. Everything is going to be learned, everything. And so, look, you need to teach and train your kids in all areas of life. Now, one mistake people can make is this. Maybe you're trying to teach your son and maybe he makes mistakes and you're like, man, it's just easier if I do it. Just give me that, I'll do it. Yeah, you know, you got to put in the time when they're young so they can learn how to do that because otherwise they're never going to learn. Now, look, obviously it's going to take them some time. They're going to make mistakes. Our son, you know, if we tell him to throw something away, he throws it away. But, you know, when we first started doing that, sometimes he got confused or made a mistake and everything. It takes a bit of trial and error for them to figure it out. But how else are they going to learn it unless you give them an opportunity? Don't just do it for them. Give them an opportunity to learn, okay? Lamentation chapter three. So point nine, teach them, which means give them a chance to do it and then show them where they do something wrong. And look, don't yell at your child when they're five years old if they make a mistake, right? They're trying to screw something in and it's like, hey, you know what, I want the flathead. And they bring back the Phillips, hey, you know what, it's okay. They're still learning, okay? They're going to learn it. Don't yell at them and get mad at them when they make a mistake. Or let's say you're giving them a chance to cook something and they accidentally burn something. Hey, look, we all burn food from time to time. Don't yell at them and say, I could have done a better job. Well, I hope so if you're a grown adult and your child's five doing it for the first time. But how else do you learn except through experience? Actual trial and error is the best way to learn. Somebody graduates with a college degree and the degree says they're so smart at this subject. But on the first day of the job, they're not. Why? Because experience is more important than what you learned in school. Actually doing it. Okay, point number 10. Last point is this. Give your children responsibilities. Give your children responsibilities. Basically, do not make life too easy for your children. Lamentations three, verse 27. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. You know, the Bible says it's good to work hard, especially at a young age. The Bible says it's good to be busy at a young age. Don't just have this attitude. Hey, you know what? My kids, they get to play until they're 18 and then they get to take life seriously. Why would they start taking life seriously if they haven't for the first 18 years of their life? It's like they're in for a rude awakening and it's going to be a pretty hard transition to go from being lazy and video games all day to then all of a sudden, oh, I've got to work a full-time job. Why not prepare them for that stage? Go to Daniel 1. Daniel 1, last place, Daniel 1. You say, what does that mean? Well, I mean, maybe once they start reaching that age, make one of the children required to do the dishes after eating. Something small, but they're learning responsibility. They're learning how to do things. They're learning how to work hard. They're learning life is not all fun. I mean, isn't that true? Sometimes we look at these kids that are running around. It's like, man, you're envious. I wish I got to run around all day because you know, life gets busy and hard when you get older. But the kids need to learn that. They need to start learning when they're 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 years old. Hey, you don't get to just play all the time. Sometimes there's work that needs to be done. And obviously it's age specific. When they're 5, you start giving them small things. 6, 7 years old, maybe they're supposed to clean the floor and make it look nice and everything. As a parent, that actually helps you. If you give your kids responsibilities, it will help you if somebody else is doing the dishes for you. Somebody else is doing the cleaning. Start giving your kids responsibilities rather than just they get to goof off for 18 years and then you expect them to work hard. Why would they work hard and take life seriously if they didn't the first 18 years of their life? When I was a kid, my sister and I, we had chores for doing the dishes, for cleaning, for vacuuming and all kinds of stuff like that. Look, it's good for those kids to learn that stuff, okay? Yes, you let them play, but also give them responsibility. Last place, Daniel 1, verse 3. Daniel 1, verse 3. And the king spake unto Ashpenaz, the master of his eunuchs, that he should bring certain of the children of Israel and of the king's seed and of the prince's. Children in whom was no blemish, but well favored and skillful in all wisdom and cunning and knowledge and understanding science and such as had ability in them to stand in the king's palace in whom they might teach the learning and the tongue of the Chaldeans. Now let me ask you a question. Do you believe that these children, Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego and Daniel, do you believe that these four kids were just born understanding science and born understanding all? No, they learned it. It means that they were taught to read and instead of just getting to goof off, they were expected to read and educate themselves. In today's world, nobody likes to read, right? It's all movies and entertainment and stuff. You know, reading is actually how you learn. And if you want your kids to learn, they have to actually be diligent and work hard. And these kids, they actually had this ability because they put in the time. They put in the effort. Why? The parents made them do it. And here's the great thing about kids. They will learn to love learning. They will love learning. My son is obsessed with shapes. He's obsessed with shapes. Sometimes he sleeps with shapes in his hands, right? He loves shapes. And, you know, he loves like figuring out where do I put this and everything. Kids like to learn. And then parents take that away to make their life easy and then just shove them in front of a TV all day. I mean, what are you doing to your kids? They need to learn to love. They need to learn to love learning, okay? And I'll tell you what. Kids are going to do that if you teach them that. But don't expect them to just all of a sudden, just they're an expert at science and math and history when they're just playing video games all day. Well, how do you learn history by playing video games? Maybe the video games are different than when I was a kid. But usually you don't learn math and science through video games, okay? We need to teach our kids responsibility. So what are the 10 points here today? Number one, do not bail out your children. If they mess up, they need to be disciplined. Point two, do not side against your spouse. Point three, do not fight in front of your children. Point four, do not show favoritism. Point five, do not compare. Point six, do not give your kids free access. Point seven, quantity of time is more important than quality. Point eight, set the right example. Point nine, teach the children. And point 10, give your children responsibilities. Look, being a parent is one of the most difficult things you're ever going to do. It's not easy. It takes work, it takes effort. But you know what? If your goal is your kids to grow up and love God and to love you and care about you, it's worth putting in the time as you're raising them. Let's close in a word of prayer. Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for allowing us to be here today and getting to see your Word. And help all of us that are parents to apply this to our lives as we're teaching and training our children, including myself. And obviously we're going to make many mistakes along the way. And it's not always easy, God. But help these kids to grow up in this church and love you and care about you and love their parents and be hard workers and be successful in life, God. We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.