According to celebrities CNN and Kamala, we have an obligation to fight Putin.
McDonald's is leading the chivalrous charge by shutting down all of its GMO
diabetes-causing blood clot burgers. In fact, no more quarter pounders for any
Soviet. Russians are terrified of the slimming effects of not having greasy
saturated foods so easily at their disposal. Unintentional consequences
might be Russians sleeping better, having an increase in energy, increased
fertility, and overall happiness. The horror! But no more golden arches for
their viewing pleasure. Starbucks, Coca-Cola, and PepsiCo have joined hands
with Ronald McDonald to virtue signal their creepy unwanted transgender clown
like advances. Meanwhile normal people try avoiding the kid's birthday clown
like the plague. Russia's not even invited to the party anymore. But folks,
war gets uglier than that. No more gold medals for Team Russia as FIFA has
eliminated the entire country from their roster. Putin's gonna have to be
satisfied with playing on Team China for now. But that's not all. The woke mob
knows where to hit Putin where it really hurts. No more cats! And I'm not just
talking about musicals. Nobody cares about that Broadway boar fest anyway.
I'm talking about actual feline cats. The International Cat Federation has
announced that it's banning Russian cats from competing. That's right, Russian cats
have been officially cancelled and Putin is shaking in his boots as a result. If
that meow missile doesn't stop him from shelling Ukraine, nothing will. If you've
changed your profile picture to a Ukrainian flag and you're not skeptical
about the unified celebrity outrage, you find yourself agreeing with Joe Biden.
You think these are normal war tactics and you stand with corporate America on
every new thing, including the current conflict happening in a country you
probably can't even spell. You need to get the Baptist bias.