The Bible says in 1 Timothy 4, for every creature of God is good and nothing to be refused if it be
received with thanksgiving. Now according to the former pastor of Watermark Community Church,
Todd Wagner, this verse isn't just about bacon, sausage, and shrimp, but it also includes booze
and illicit drugs. Talk about treating the Bible with soberness. On Wagner's podcast,
Real Truth Real Quick, he suggested downing a beer on the spot to fight the evils of fundamentalism,
but he didn't stop there. According to Todd, heroin is a gift of God. Heroin.
If, of course, we sanctify it first with prayer and thanksgiving. Now using that logic, I guess
we should also drink arsenic. If toxic mushrooms sound appetizing, don't hesitate to grab some
from a field somewhere for a tasty addition to your next dinner date with your wife.
Every creature of God is good. So, you know, bring on the asbestos, snake venom, mercury,
formaldehyde, eat and drink it all to the glory of God. Of course, if that sounds completely
ridiculous to you, perhaps you need another drink or another hit. Honestly though, I think even some
bartenders might be skeptical of Wagner's doctrine. But consider Catholics who turn
fermented wine into the precious blood of our Savior, or large non-denominational churches like
Greater Purpose Community Church in California, which serves beer and wine during its services.
The timeless proverb says wine is a mocker and strong drink is raging. But who knew the cure
was to say grace before your kegger? Brought to you, of course, by Pastor Jack Daniels.
If what I've said makes any sense to you whatsoever,
I think you need to put down the bottle and spend the next hour with us getting the Baptist bias.