The Bible says in 1st Timothy 4, "For every creature of God is good and nothing to be
refused if it be received with thanksgiving."
Now, according to the former pastor of Watermark Community Church, Todd Wagner, this verse
isn't just about bacon, sausage, and shrimp, but it also includes booze and illicit drugs.
Talk about treating the Bible with soberness.
On Wagner's podcast, Real Truth Real Quick, he suggested downing a beer on the spot to
fight the evils of fundamentalism.
But he didn't stop there.
According to Todd, "Heroin is a gift of God, heroin, if, of course, we sanctify it first
with prayer and thanksgiving."
Now using that logic, I guess we should also drink arsenic.
If toxic mushrooms sound appetizing, don't hesitate to grab some from a field somewhere
for a tasty addition to your next dinner date with your wife!
Every creature of God is good!
So bring on the asbestos, snake venom, mercury, formaldehyde, eat and drink it all to the
glory of God!
Of course, if that sounds completely ridiculous to you, perhaps you need another drink or
another hit.
Honestly, though, I think even some bartenders might be skeptical of Wagner's doctrine.
But consider Catholics, who turn fermented wine into the precious blood of our Savior,
or large non-denominational churches like Greater Purpose Community Church in California,
which serves beer and wine during its services.
The timeless proverb says, "Wine is a mocker, and strong drink is raging."
But who knew the cure was to say grace before your kegger?
Brought to you, of course, by Pastor Jack Daniels.
If what I've said makes any sense to you whatsoever, I think you need to put down the bottle and
spend the next hour with us getting the Baptist bias.