Good late time period, humans and persons.
Eberhard Nestle and Kurt Allen have finally given us an exact Bible in the 33rd edition
of their Nestle-Allen Greek New Testament, sponsored by the Masonic Lodge.
It's estimated that 666 new Bible versions will be published in the near future based
on this updated Greek text, so we can finally realize what the Bible actually says.
Some very un-good critics have asserted that gender-neutralizing Bibles are Satanic, but
we assure you that there's really only one reason to constantly change the Bible.
To make money.
To make lots of money.
Scholars agree we may have finally reached the Eye of the Pyramid with a newly discovered
manuscript in an ancient dumpster with hieroglyphics saying, "Burn all this useless trash."
In fact, all true scientists agree that this first century, give or take a few thousand
years, discovery will give us the most completely accurate version of the Bible that we've ever
been able to reconstruct.
Yet scholars are most excited about the never before seen document included in the discovery
called the Gospel of Lucifer.
This completely gender-sanitized and gender-neutral finding will ultimately end all the misogynistic
corruptions found in previous texts.
For example, no more "he," we've realized that in fact we should use the word "persons"
instead.
Oh man, we've decided to change to the more inclusive "human" in Micah chapter 6, and
in Romans chapter 2 we've changed it to "foolish person."
The "sin" offering sounds a little bit too judgmental, and so it's been changed to the
"purification" offering.
"Demoniacs" has been updated to "people possessed by demons."
And more importantly, "Song of Solomon" in the King James Version has been changed from
"I am black" to "I'm a victim of the white supremacist, fascist, oppressive, patriarchal
communist state."
See, persons who don't like these changes in the Bible also mock other politically corrected
phrases that have been adopted recently by CNN and MSNBC, such as "fat," which we all
know is no longer acceptable.
And that has been changed over to "important person of size," aka POS.
"Drunkard," well, that's hateful.
We've changed that one to "adult beverage enjoyer."
And the word "whore" is no longer acceptable.
We now use the phrase "vice president."
Hillary Clinton accusers are now described as "persons who don't breathe well."
Ungood persons may scoff at these changes and mock these changes because they're bigots.
And the reality is, if you're still stuck on archaic words like "he," "she," or "man,"
then it's probably true that you have the Baptist bias.