Amen. Alright well we're there in Esther chapter number two and of course last
week we started this series entitled for such a time as this and it is a verse by
verse study through the book of Esther and this series is not a series on
marriage it is a study of this book and we're going to get into the life of
Esther and Mordecai and all these different things that they dealt with in
this book but the first two sermons do have to do with marriage because the
book begins with this marriage crisis of King Ahasuerus and his wife Vashti in fact if
you would just go back to Esther chapter 1 verse 19 just to get a little bit of
the context
Esther chapter 1 verse 19 the Bible says this if it please the king and if you
remember these are the not so good counselors of King Ahasuerus speaking
they're giving him counsel here they said if it please the king let there go
a royal commandment from him and let it be written among the laws of the Persians
and the Medes that it be not altered that Vashti come no more before the king
so they advised him for to have separation from his wife they advised
him to separate that Vashti come no more before the king Ahasuerus and of
course we talked about it last week the whole dilemma there Ahasuerus was not
showing love to his wife his wife was not showing reverence to him notice what
it says there it says and let the king give a royal estate unto another that is
better than she so not only did they advise for separation they advised for
remarriage and this morning I'm gonna speak to you on the subject of
separation divorce and remarriage and I want you to understand that I don't know
that Ahasuerus necessarily divorced Vashti because in these days of course
they would just practice polygamy he would separate from her and just marry
someone else however today in our society separation and remarriage would
include divorce and the Bible speaks a lot about this subject if you go to
Esther chapter 2 and look at verse number 1 I want you to notice something
very typical about married couples and something I've learned in counseling
over the last 10 years something my wife and I have learned in counseling over
the last 10 years something I would advise you if you ever find yourself
counseling somebody is to never take sides in a conflict between a husband
and a wife and it's always good to stay neutral and I always tell people when I
counsel with them that I am not for or against either of you I'm against all of
you I'm against both of you and I will be your enemies at times and that's okay
I don't need you know I'd like people to like me but I don't need you to like me
I really only need my wife to like me and as long as Jesus likes me and my
wife likes me I'm good and and my kids you know hopefully my kids like me but I
want you to notice something that's very typical about married couples Esther
chapter 2 verse 1 the Bible says this after these things when the wrath of
King Ahasuerus was appeased the reason you don't want to and look you in-laws
you've got kids that are married grown grown and married don't don't get in
between their conflicts you say why here's why married couples eventually
get over it they fight and then they make up but when you get involved then
they turn on you the Bible says after these things when the wrath of King
Ahasuerus was appeased notice he was mad for a while right he was upset that she
had publicly humiliated him but then the Bible says that his wrath was a peace
conflicts eventually pacified people fight and then they stop fighting and
things get calm again notice he remembered Vashti I want you to notice
those words he already in in the heat of the battle he proclaimed that he would
separate from her that he would remarry his friends gave him this bad counsel
and then but then when when when it all pacified when they're all appeased the
Bible says he remembered Vashti and what that means is that he missed Vashti he
loved Vashti he remembered Vashti and what she had done he remembered what had
brought this about and what was decreed against her and notice what happens in
verse 2 with his friends then said the king's servants these are again the not
so good counselors that ministered unto him they realized that the king misses
his wife and this would have been a great opportunity for them to say hey
you should ask her to forgive you you should forgive her you should try to
reconcile but instead here's what they said they said let there be fair young
virgins sought for the king they he says he starts thinking about his wife and
missing his wife he remembered Vashti and what she had done and what was
decreed against her and they said well we can't have this let's go find a new
wife let there be fair young virgins sought for the king and next week we're
gonna develop this idea of what happened to Esther and how Esther got involved in
this and this was not something that Esther wanted to be involved in
something that she had no choice in the matter but today I want to speak to you
on the subject of divorce and separation now keep your place there in Esther
we're gonna come back to it but go to the book of Romans if you would in the
New Testament Matthew Mark Luke John Acts Romans Romans chapter number seven
and while you turn there I'll go ahead and just give you some thoughts
and introductory statements in regards to divorce we are told that 50 to 60
percent of marriages today end in divorce and we're also told that divorce
rates are not any better among Christians with that said I realize that
when I stand here this morning and preach on the subject of divorce that
there are several of you and maybe many of you who have experienced divorce in
your life and I want you to know that I am not preaching the sermon to try to
beat up on you and I'm not preaching the sermon to lay a guilt trip on you if
you've been divorced in your past then that's something that you need to
confess to God asking to forgive you and move on the Bible says forgetting those
things which are behind and reaching forth unto those things which are before
if you've been divorced and remarried then you need to stay married to the
spouse you're married to the purpose of this sermon is not to try to guilt you
or make you feel bad and there's always the temptation every time you stand up
to preach to say well you know people have been divorced in our church so
maybe I shouldn't preach about that but honestly people have lied in our church
so should I not preach against lying you know people have done everything in our
church that you know that the Bible talks about we're all sinners but here's
what I know about those of you that I have been divorced because sometimes you
preach these sermons and people get offended but let me say this and if
you've been divorced and I'm not asking you to say this out loud or raise your
hand or anything like that but I I know this people who have experienced
divorce people who have experienced divorce and I've spoken to many of you
about this and they've done extensive studies they've they've done many sorts
of questionnaires people who have experienced divorce consistently rate
going through divorce as one of the most traumatizing experiences of their lives
so and and when asked when people who go through divorce are asked is this
something that you would want your children to go through the consistent
answer is no and if you're here this morning and you've been divorced and you
would say yes it was traumatizing yes it was difficult and no I wouldn't want it
for my children then you should thank God that there is a pastor who is
willing to stand up and preach what the Bible has to say about it you should not
sit there and make it all about yourself and beat yourself up you should make it
all about the future generation we've got all sorts of young people in this
church we've got all sorts of young couples in this church we've got all
sorts of married couples in this church that need to know what the Bible says
about divorce and marriage these sermons are needed for young people young
couples young young current couples who may get divorced if they don't hear
preaching like this so this morning I'd like to give you just a comprehensive
and complete idea of what the Bible teaches on the subject of divorce I'm
going to give you four thoughts this morning I'd encourage you to write these
down you might be able to use these one day when you're helping somebody
struggling in their marriage and I would want you to be able to jot down these
notes and and have the references to go along with them on the back of your
course the week there's a place for you to write down some notes and we're there
in Romans chapter 7 and I'll begin this there's a first statement or first point
if you want to write down I want you to notice the biblical elimination of
divorce the biblical elimination of divorce and what do you say what do you
mean by that the Bible tells us the Bible teaches us that the concept of
divorce should be eliminated from our minds and our hearts as Christian
married couples the Bible teaches that marriage is till death do us part if
you're there in Romans chapter 7 like you notice verse 1 the Bible says this
no you're not brethren for I speak to them that know the law how that the law
hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth Romans chapter 7 notice verse
number two for the woman for the woman and again I want you to understand this
whenever we read these chapters and we're talking about marriage you can
swap in woman with man and all of that and the Bible does that even for us
throughout Scripture in Romans 7 to the Bible says for the woman which hath
been husband is bound by the law and the law he is referring to the law of God to
the commandments of the Lord for the woman which have been husband is bound
by the law to her husband notice these words so long as he liveth but if the
husband be dead she is loose from the law of her husband according to the
Bible the Bible teaches that death is the only thing that brings us
out of marriage marriage is till death do us part the Bible says that if her
husband be dead she is loose from the law of her husband but the woman which
hath been husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth go
to 1st Corinthians chapter 7 this is found all throughout the Bible I'll give
you a couple examples we're in Romans 7 if you turn over one book to 1st
Corinthians chapter 7 we'll see it again this is why when we do a marriage
ceremony we have vows that say for richer or poorer in sickness and in
health for better or worse till death do us part and by the way you know we've
got all sorts of dating couples in our church right now and that's good but you
know let me just say this this is one of the reasons why at Verity Baptist Church
we do not allow for all these little trendy vows that people always want to
do I tell people if you want to do your little trendy vows about Rose or red
vials of blue you're so amazing you know I am too or whatever you can do that but
we will do that after we do the traditional vows because we want you to
stand before God and your family and your spiritual family and say these
words till death do us part because the Bible teaches that marriage is for life
1st Corinthians chapter 7 verse 10 and unto the married I command yet not I but
the Lord this is the Apostle Paul's way of saying this is not a suggestion let
not the wife depart from her husband that's divorce separation notice verse
11 but if she depart let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her
husband we'll come back to that later notice these words and let not the
husband put away see those words put away that's our King James Bible way of
saying divorce the words put away in regards to marriage mean divorce in our
Bible it says let not the husband put away his wife notice verse 39 same
chapter 1st Corinthians chapter 7 verse 39 the wife is bound by the law notice
as long as her husband liveth but if her husband be dead she is at liberty to be
married to whom she will only in the Lord and the Bible teaches here that
look when you're married is till death do us part and if a spouse dies if a
husband dies and a wife is now a widow well now she's at liberty to marry whom
she will only in the Lord means of course that the Bible teaches that you
should marry someone who's a Christian if a wife dies and you have a man who's
now a widower then he's free to marry but other than that the Bible teaches
that marriage is till death do us part go to Matthew chapter 19 if you would
first book of the New Testament should be fairly easy to find Matthew chapter
19 and look at verse number 3 Matthew chapter 19 and verse 3 Matthew chapter
19 and verse 3 notice what the Bible says here we have the Pharisees coming
to Jesus Matthew first book in the New Testament chapter 19 verse 3 the Bible
says this the Pharisees also came unto him tempting him the words tempting him
there mean they're testing him they're trying him they're trying to get him to
say something wrong and saying unto him notice the words they ask notice the
question they ask is it lawful and again they're asking is it wrong is it a sin
because the Bible defines sin as the transgression of the law you say what is
sin when we go out soul winning and we preach the gospel to people what is sin
sin is the transgression of the law the transgression of God's law when we break
God's law we've sinned and here the Pharisees are asking they're saying it
is it lawful is it a transgression of God's law is it a sin for a man to put
away again those words mean to divorce his wife notice they asked this question
for every cause just for any reason just for whatever you want notice verse 4 and
he answered and said unto them have you not read and by the way let me just say
this this is usually the problem
usually the problem with Christians is they've just not read that's why we do
things like nine chapters a day and he answered and said unto them have you not
read that he which made them at the beginning this is referring to Genesis
this was the verse that was in the front of our bulletin he that made them at the
beginning made them male and female and said for this call shall a man leave
father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they twain shall be one
flesh and the Bible refers to marriage as becoming one flesh becoming one
person notice verse 6 where for they are no more twain twain means two
individuals he says when you got married you you you came into that marriage
ceremony as two but you walked out as one wherefore they are no more twain
but one flesh and I want you to notice these words what therefore God hath
joined together let not man put asunder what does the Bible teach about marriage
you know what the Bible teaches about marriage is it teaches that it's still
death through the spark what does the Bible teach about marriage what the
Bible teaches about marriage is this that you cannot unwun what God has made
one that man has no business trying to put asunder trying to separate what God
has made one flesh we're gonna come right back to Matthew 19 here in a
minute but go with me if you would to the book of Malachi it's the last book
in the Old Testament it's the book right before the book of Matthew Malachi
chapter 2 and I want you to look at verse 15 why don't you notice that God
is very consistent about his thoughts and beliefs and his teaching on divorce
Malachi chapter 2 and verse 15 notice what the Bible says you're there in
Matthew we're gonna come right back to it but just flip back to Malachi chapter
2 and verse 15 the Bible says this and did not he make one and again this is
referring to marriage they are no more twain but one flesh what therefore God
hath joined together let not man put us in asunder Malachi chapter 2 verse 15
notice what the Bible says and did not he make one yet had he the residue of
the spirit then he says this and wherefore what now here's this is really
interesting because God's about to tell us what the purpose of marriage because
the word wherefore means for what reason or for for this reason he says and
wherefore one he says did not he make one did not God say that man shall leave
father mother and cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh many says
here did not he make one then he says and wherefore once he says why did God
institute marriage why did God take twain and make them one here's why that
he might seek a godly seed you say what's the purpose of marriage purpose
of marriage is to have children purpose of marriage is to raise children for the
glory of God and did not he make one yet had he the residue of the Spirit and
wherefore one that he might seek a godly seed sometimes people say they'll say
things like well you know we're gonna get divorced because at this point if we
stay together you know we'd only be staying together for the children and
they say like that like a negative thing like that just well we'd only be staying
together for the children well then stay together for the children you're saying
it like it's a bad thing the whole reason you got married was for the
children some of you had the children before but anyway you got married so
good that he might seek a godly see therefore take heed to your spirit and
let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth I want you to notice
the words in verse 16 for the Lord the God of Israel sayeth that notice these
words he hateth putting away is that powerful there's not lots of things the
Bible tells us God hates there's there's there's I mean there's things the Bible
definitely does is God hates but it's not like just every other verse God is
saying I hate this I hate that but here the Bible says for the Lord God the God
of Israel saith he hated putting away the Bible says that God hates divorce
for one covereth violence with his garment saith the Lord of hosts
therefore take heed to your spirit that you do not treacherous the biblical
teaching on divorce is that you cannot unwun what God has made one the biblical
teaching on divorce is that marriage is till death do us part the biblical
teaching on divorce is that God hates divorce go back to Matthew chapter 19
look at verse 9 Matthew 2 19 verse 9
Matthew chapter 19 and verse 9 the Bible says this Matthew 19 and verse 9 the
Bible says and I say unto you and I say unto you whosoever shall put away his
wife the words put away again referring to divorce whosoever shall put away his
wife except that be for fornication we'll come back to that here in a
minute and shall marry another what are these words committeth adultery and who
so marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery I realize that this is
not preaching that is heard often today anymore but I'm not gonna apologize to
you for preaching the Word of God the Bible teaches that divorce and
remarriage is adultery the Bible teaches that when somebody gets a divorce
whosoever shall put away his wife except to be for fornication and shall marry
another when somebody gets a divorce and marries another he is committing she is
committing adultery and and and then it says and whoso marrieth her which is put
away doth commit adultery so the Bible teaches this concept of biblical
elimination of divorce marriage is till death do us part you cannot unwun what
God has made one the Bible says that God hates divorce the Bible says that
divorce and remarriage is adultery but I'd like you to notice secondly this
morning not only the biblical elimination of divorce but I'd like to
notice the biblical exception for divorce now you might say well wait a
minute I thought you're preaching against divorce now you're gonna tell
us an exception for divorce and you know what I'm preaching to use the Bible I
have to preach the Word of God to you and the Bible teaches that there is an
exception for divorce and honestly I will say this people always think that
they're the exception to the rule and here's the truth and don't take this the
wrong way I'm not trying to hurt your feelings but you're not that special the
Bible says there is no new thing under the Sun but people always think well my
situation is different I'm the exception and I can tell you this there is only
one very specific exception for divorce in the Bible and I'm fairly certain that
probably note that it applies to nobody in this room and I'll explain it to you
Matthew chapter 19 and verse 7 the Bible says this and and I wouldn't even
bring it up if it wasn't for the fact that I know that somebody is gonna come
up to me after the service and say well what about here Matthew 19 verse 7 the
Bible says this they say unto him why did Moses then command to give the
writing of divorcement and to put her away notice how divorce and putting her
away is used synonymously or interchangeably it means the same thing
he says unto them Moses because of the hardness of your hearts because of your
stubbornness suffered now notice in verse 7 they said why didn't why did
Moses then command and Jesus comes back as the word suffered our King James
Bible means allowed he says most of my command you he allowed you to those are
two different things suffered you to put away or divorce your wives but from the
beginning it was not so Jesus that this was not God's intended plan for marriage
and at the end of the service we'll talk about God's intended plan but look verse
9 and I say unto you these are the words of Jesus whosoever shall put away divorce
his wife and then here's here's what somebody would bring up to me if I
didn't deal with it in the sermon except it be for fornication and shall marry
another committed adultery and whoso marrieth her which is put away does
commit adultery people will often go back to this verse and they'll take this
phrase where Jesus said except it be for fornication and they'll say well look
right there there's an exception okay here's what I want you to understand
this is the exception this is the only exception and often people will try to
twist this passage into saying well my spouse committed adultery so therefore
I've got a basis biblical basis to divorce them well the problem with that
is that that's not what this verse says his wife it says except it be for
fornication doesn't say adultery well maybe Jesus didn't you know maybe he
didn't know the difference between fornication adultery really because just
a few words later he says and shall marry another committed adultery Jesus
obviously had both words in his vocabulary he used both words in this
very verse he says except it be for fornication he says there is one very
unique very specific exception in the Bible for divorce and it is fornication
and if you get divorced for any other reason and marry another Jesus says
you're committing adultery see well what is this what is this exception for
fornication go the book of Deuteronomy if you would in the Old Testament Genesis
Exodus Leviticus Numbers Deuteronomy Deuteronomy chapter 24 and I'll explain
this to you fornication by the way is when two people engage in a physical
relationship before marriage that's why adultery is not a basis for divorce
adultery is when someone commits a physical relationship outside of
marriage they're already married fornication is single people having
physical relationship before marriage the Bible says Jesus said there's one
exception for divorce except it be for fornication you say okay well you know
what does that mean it means that somebody could divorce some of somebody
if they find out that that person fornicated or was with somebody else
before marriage but I want you to notice this isn't something this is something
that God specifically tells us has a time frame Deuteronomy 24 once you look
at verse 1 Deuteronomy 24 verse 1 notice this word when you should
underline that word or circle that word when when is a word that gives us the
time frame there's an exception for divorce in the Bible well when is it
well I'm about to tell you when a man hath taken a wife now when a man has
taken a wife what do we call that a wedding a marriage right so when a guy
gets married when a gal gets married does this say 20 years later because
you're come because you're no longer compatible when a man hath taken a wife
and married her and it comes to pass that you find no favor in his eyes like
oh well here we go that's this is this is my marriage okay because because
notice it's not just you were not the Pharisees here can a man put away his
wife for any every cause no no and it comes to pass that she find no favor in
his eyes because it's a very specific reason why because he had found some
uncleanness in her then let him write her a bill of
divorcement and give it in her hand and send it her and send her out of his
house and when she is departed out of his house she may go and be another
man's wife you say what is this referring to the word uncleanness and I
don't want to spend a lot of time in this and I don't want to get graphic of
course the word uncleanness is a word using the Bible to refer to disease the
way you and I would talk about it today would be like an STD the idea here and
what the Bible is teaching here is that you have these young couple that got
dated and got engaged and and and got married and and both were under the
assumption that the other was a virgin that they had kept themselves pure for
marriage and then this young man marries a wife takes a wife and on the night of
the wedding night the night in which they're gonna consummate the marriage he
finds some uncleanness in her the Bible says at that moment before the
consummation of the marriage when a man had taken a wife he can say you know
what you deceived me I this I wasn't signing up for this this is not
something I'm comfortable with and he can write her a bill of divorcement and
give it in her hand this must happen before the consummation of the marriage
by the way let me just say this this doesn't apply both of you have
committed fornication this doesn't apply if the person you are engaged with was
already honest with you and already told you that they have been with somebody
else and you said it's fine and you moved on with it this only applies when
someone has lied and said yes I'm a virgin yes I've never been with some
with anybody they go and get married they go have the wedding night and then
it's clear well you've been with somebody there's uncleanness in you then
the Bible says you can write a bill of divorcement before the consummating of
the marriage so look unless you got married yesterday or you know you got
married this morning and and and you find about find out about someone
cleanness tonight this doesn't apply to you this is not this this is not grounds
for divorce for you there's a very specific situation that most marriages
are not going to are not going to be applied in go to Deuteronomy 22 if you
would you're there in Deuteronomy 24 go to Deuteronomy 22 I'll show it to you
even further Deuteronomy 22 another example of this I
want to just clearly teach this because I don't want anybody saying well what
about that except for fornication that doesn't apply to you if you already
consummated the marriage that doesn't apply to you you've been married for 10
years that doesn't apply to you Deuteronomy 22 look verse 13 if any man
take a wife again the same idea they get married if any man take a wife and go in
unto her and again the wording here is referring to the consummating of a
marriage and hate her and give occasion of speech against her and bring up an
evil name upon her and say I took this woman and when I came to her I found her
not a maid the word maid in our Bible means a virgin and we'll see how that
word is used interchangeably here in in the Bible he's here we're talking about
a man gets married he goes in unto his wife to consummate the marriage and then
he says he comes back out and he says I found her not a maid I found her not a
maid look verse 15 then shall the father of the damsel and her mother
take and bring forth the tokens of the damsels virginity unto the elders of the
city in the gate look verse 16 and the damsels father shall say unto the
elders I gave my daughter unto this man to wife and he ate of her and lo he has
given occasion of speech against her saying I found not thy daughter a maid
by the way let me just say this the Bible teaches it's a speech against you
young person to not be a virgin something to be ashamed about it's not
something like again if you've already crossed that line I'm not beating you
up you confess it forsake it and move on but for those of you that have not
crossed that line you maintain your purity notice verse 17 and lo he has
given occasion of speech against her saying I found not thy daughter a maid
notice in verse 15 he said that he did not find her the damsels virginity he
said I found her not a maid then he says here are the tokens of damsels
virginity then he says in verse 17 I found not thy daughter a maid so these
words are being used interchangeably a maid is a virgin and yet these are the
tokens of my daughter's virginity and they shall spread the cloth before the
elders of the city and the elder city shall take that man and chastise him so
here's what he's saying somebody goes in to concentrate the marriage and they
come back out saying I didn't find her a virgin I did not find her a maid if the
parents can prove no she is a virgin look verse 18 and the elders that city
shall take that man and chastise him and they shall immerse the word immerse
means to punish by imposing a fine immerse him in an hundred shekels of
silver and give them unto the father of the damsel because he has brought up an
evil name upon a virgin of Israel look it's not a good thing to be known as
someone who's easy or sleazy and she shall be his wife and notice he may not
put her away all his days look the only time in the Bible that someone was
allowed to put away their wife was if they got married but before they
consummated the marriage and in the Bible we find that people will get
married and they have these seven-day weddings or they have these long
weddings where in our society it all happens in one day but in the Bible what
happened over a period of time and when they got married they were married they
made vows they signed the contract but they not yet consummated the marriage
and they found that the other one had fornicated had been with somebody else
then they could write a bill of divorcement and get divorced before they
consummated the marriage this is what the Bible biblical teaches this is the
only exception for divorce in the Bible go to go back to 1st Corinthians chapter
7 and let me just say this here's a perfect example of this of this a very
famous example of this that you've heard about the story of Joseph and Mary I
mean Joseph Mary is my case in point go read Luke chapter 2 go read Matthew
chapter 1 the Bible is clear that she was espoused that they were married
Joseph was the husband Mary was the wife but the Bible says they had not yet come
together and Mary was found with child now obviously we know that it was a
virgin birth it was of God Mary had not been with anybody but Joseph didn't know
that and and none of us can really fault Joseph for thinking you know when he
finds that Mary is pregnant for thinking she'd been with somebody obviously this
is something that happened on human history one time you know so so Joseph
is under the assumption like well obviously she's been with somebody
she's married you know God had to send an angel to explain to Joseph hey Joseph
you know this is of God and the Bible says you know but Joseph the Bible says
that being a just man he was minded to put away Mary it doesn't even say that
he had made the decision you're just thinking about you know should he do
this because you know just because the Bible says you could even in this
situation doesn't mean you had to you could always just forgive them you could
always just show mercy and grace and that's even what Joseph was even minding
thinking about doing and God sends an angel so there's an exception in the
Bible and again I'm only even dealing with it because I want to be clear that
you're not the exception I mean unless you again unless you've not consummated
the marriage and you find out you know she's pregnant or he has some disease or
whatever that this exception does not apply to you 1st Corinthians chapter 7
so I said number one this morning there is the biblical elimination of divorce
the Bible says marriage is still death to his part Bible says you cannot un one
what God has made one that will says that God hates divorce well so that
divorce and remarriage is adultery then there's a biblical exception for
divorce the biblical for exception for the force is this for fornication which
is something that was done before marriage and is it is before
consummation of the marriage if you've already consummated the marriage is so
death to his part here's point number three let's talk about the biblical
expectation if you divorce so okay well what it what if my what if my spouse
leaves me you know what if what if they just leave me what if they abandon me
what if they leave and I can't stop them and then then what okay well the Bible
look the Bible answers all our questions 1st Corinthians 7 look at verse 11 notice
what the Bible says but and if she depart they're saying you know here's a
guy and and his wife leaves them but and if she depart the Bible says let her
remain unmarried so the wife leaves then she is to remain on Mary so the
Bible teaches that if if you get a divorce if you separate from your spouse
you know there's an expectation from God for the Christian believer there's two
options for you one option option number one if the wife says I just gotta leave
I can't stay with him if she depart okay well let her remain unmarried what's
option two will notice or be reconciled to her husband you got two options and
let not the husband put away his wife you can remain unmarried or you can be
reconciled to your spouse you can remain unmarried or you can rescue house
yourselves because here's the thing God understands that people are gonna get
divorced and and there are situations where people are gonna leave and let me
just say this because you know I've been preaching this for ten years now I
already know what you're gonna ask me on the way out so let me just answer all
your questions obviously we would never tell a woman who either she or her
children are legitimately in danger due to her husband you know beating her or
maybe her husband's a rapper bae and her children are in danger to stay with
their spouse but look and look I'm gonna be honest with you I'm gonna try to be
as careful and as gentle as I can anyone who's in a legitimate danger for
themselves obviously we want to help them and we're never gonna tell them no
you know I realize your husband's a pedophile but you need to take your
seven-year-old daughter back to him obviously we never say that but at the
same time understand that there are lots of people who when they want to get
divorced they find any reason he's abusive okay well did he hit you well he
you know made fun of me three years ago it's like okay well no and look I'm not
trying to be little I'm just telling you God God puts this real serious thing in
here because here's what happens most of the time women are like or men
they're like oh you know my husband's abusive my wife's abusive I'm gonna
leave them they're already on Christian mingle they've already got their account
going on their dating sites you know somebody somebody walks into my office
my wife and I meet with some lady and she's like you know I'm fearful for my
life with my husband I'm for my children he's a reprobate you know you know what
my wife and I say well don't go back to him but you know what the Bible says you
need to remain unmarried you know what a wife who seriously prayed for her life
says I don't care I'm gonna do what I need to do to protect my children you
know when when my wife and I look at that individual say well you know if
it's that serious then remain a member the Bible says you can separate you go
ahead and leave them but the Bible says you must remain unmarried you can't
marry anybody for the rest of your life and they're like well I mean well I
don't know well well maybe well maybe I can work it out oh well I then must not
been that serious to begin with women that are fearful for their lives are not
on dating sites women men that are that think their spouse is gonna hurt their
children they're not like well I'm already going on my first blind date no
no obviously if you're in danger and it's a serious situation God God puts
this big serious disclaimer he says if she depart let her remain unmarried and
then we'll know she's serious if she's like no it's that bad I'm willing to
remain unmarried because I cannot have my children with that man then it's like
whoop praise Lord will help you will love you will help you be content but
it's like well no I was thinking that I'd go get married it's like you're not
serious go reconcile with your spouse if it's not that serious look I realize
people don't like this preaching people don't want to hear this but this is the
truth we're never gonna tell somebody if they're in legitimate danger go back to
that danger but if you're willing to remain unmarried for the rest of your
life then we believe that you are serious about how dangerous it is but if
you've already got your you know on your way to the counseling session you're
setting up your Christian mingle account it's like get out of here here your
options but and if she's apart let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her
husband that's it and let not the husband put away his wife go to
Ephesians chapter 5 if you wouldn't Ephesians chapter 5 what does the Bible
teach about separation divorce and remarriage well we have a biblical
elimination for divorce God says God says eliminate divorce marriage is so
death to his part you cannot unwound what God has made one God hates divorce
divorce and remarriage is authority is what the Bible teaches look let me let
me give some advice to you married couples eliminate the thought the
concept the option even the word of divorce from your marriage I mean go
home and cut it out of the dictionaries in your house it's not an option if you
if you know don't ever leave divorce is just this lingering option like well if
all else fails no it's not an option well we'll try to work it out and if we
can't work it out then we'll get divorced no no there's no option burn
that bridge send those ships home let that ship sail you work it out and you
stay married till death do us part just cut it out and look you dating couples
you young couples go into marriage with this idea divorce is not an option don't
bring up don't even let the word come out of your mouth people often when they
fight they like to throw that word around don't do that look if you've done
that I'm not trying to beat up on you I'm just trying to help you here
eliminate that thought eliminate that concept just decide you know God hates
divorce I love God we're gonna stay married biblical elimination of divorce
then we have the biblical exception for divorce what's the exception it's for
fornication before marriage before consummation of the marriage then we
have the biblical expectation if you divorce if you divorce you are to remain
unmarried if it's that serious then remain unmarried but if you're like oh
well I'm gonna start dating then no then go back to your husband go back to your
wife has you Harris she really just respected me you're already looking for
another wife go make it right with Vashti remain unmarried and be
reconciled for your to your spouse and last I want you to notice the biblical
example for not divorcing Ephesians chapter 5 every time we go to Ephesians
5 we did it last week I've done many times I tell you that it is a
quintessential passage on marriage in the Bible and it is I mean the Bible
talks a lot about marriage all throughout the Bible but Ephesians 5 is
the most important as far as it really lays out the roles of a husband and wife
and all these things here's what's really interesting about Ephesians 5 is
the quintessential passage on marriage it's the man is the it's the passage
that God says here's the roles for the husband here's the roles for a wife a
husband is supposed to love his wife sacrificially like Christ loved the
church selflessly like he loves himself a wife is supposed to submit to her
husband and reverence of it has all this then you get to the end of Ephesians 5
and then Paul's like oh and by the way I wasn't really talking about marriage
anyway he said what he's like well I was talking about marriage but I wasn't
really the focus of this chapter well I was just using marriage as an example as
an example of what of Christ in the church Ephesians 5 verse 31 for this
cause shall a man leave his father mother and shall be joined unto his wife
and they too shall be one flesh right that sounds familiar verse 32 this is a
great mystery one pause is but I speak concerning Christ in the church he says
I'm talking about marriages or here's a positive I've been talking about
marriage this whole time but I'm really just using marriage as an example of
Christ and the church this is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ
and the church verse 33 nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love
his wife even as himself and the wife see that she referenced her husband
here's what's interesting the quintessential passage on on marriage and
the Bible God says Paul says the Holy Spirit says it's actually about Christ
in the church so what does that mean here's what that means is that God
ordained marriage your marriage my marriage all marriage Adam and Eve's
marriage to be a picture of Christ in the church to be an example of Christ in
the church well I thought you said it was to have children that's what the
church was to do have children reach people at the gospel have a spiritual
children here's what's interesting you know what you love about Jesus I hope
you love this about Jesus I hope you're saved I'll tell you what I love about
Jesus a little word called security we like to call it eternal security you
know what the Bible teaches like God will never leave you know forsake you
you know what the Bible teaches that Jesus will never divorce you by the way
now we know why God hates divorce so much every time a husband wife filed for
divorce he said I hate that this was supposed to be a picture of Christ and
the church and here's the thing about Christ in the church there's always
security I'll never leave you I'll never forsake you it doesn't matter what you
do and but doesn't matter where you go I will always be there it's eternal
security of the believer we say one saved always saved you know what we
ought to say once married always married
security and forgiveness you know what I love about Jesus the Bible says if we
confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and they
cleanse us from all unrighteousness no no matter what I do Jesus will always
forgive me no matter how much I hurt him look I'm not trying to minimize what
you've gone through couples have gone through some hard things and difficult
things and things we understand that you got up here and told your story we would
feel with you and understand and say man yeah I'd leave him too but you know who
wouldn't leave him you know who wouldn't leave her is Jesus the Bible says that
we've committed adultery against Jesus the Bible says that we have talked badly
against Jesus the Bible says that we have stabbed Jesus in the back the
Bible said everything that anybody could have ever done to you was done to Jesus
and Jesus says I'll forgive you every time he says there's security see the
Bible says that the biblical example of a marriage he says this is a great
mystery but I speak concerning Christ and the church nevertheless that every
one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and the wife see
that she reverence her husband the beautiful thing about our relationship
with Jesus is security and forgiveness by the way the only reason the only
reason if Jesus need an excuse to divorce anybody he'd have it the only
reason you and I get to be in this relationship with Jesus is because of
security and forgiveness you don't deserve it I don't deserve it go back to
Esther chapter 2 look at verse 1 Esther chapter 2 verse 1 Esther chapter 2 verse
1 the Bible says this after these things when the wrath of King Ahasuerus was
appeased he remembered Basti and what she had done and what was decreed
against her now the book of Esther is a great book Esther is a great character
in the Bible and I really love the book of Esther we'll see next week how she
did not sin this was not this was something I was done to her she was
forced into it she had no choice but you know Esther chapter 2 verse 2 would have
been a great ending as well if it would have said and King Ahasuerus forgave
Basti and Basti forgave Ahasuerus and they lived happily ever after that
should have been that should have been the end to the story and that should be
the end to your story and my story because we fool ourselves into thinking
I look at couples like my parents my parents have been married 42 years I
look at couples like my parents and you and I can look at couples like my parents
to say well they must be perfect they must never fight and I will say this
about my parents they were you know they were very careful to not fight around us
children I can tell you that I don't even have a memory of my parents ever
fighting and in front of us and you you parents I would just if you got a fight
fight but don't do it in front of your kids they don't need to see that and I'm
thankful for that but I know this I'm sure they fought everyone finds people
get there oh well they've been married for 42 years they've been married for 60
years they've been married for all these years you know they must never fight no
you know you know what they everybody fights everybody has conflict everybody
has issues how do you say married for 30 years 40 years 50 years 60 years
security and forgiveness security and forgiveness that's it the way that the
story for a hazy area should have ended was he forgave Ashley vastly forgave him
and they lived happily ever after that's how he should end for you and for me the
example of not divorcing the Bible is Christ in the church and here's the
truth if Jesus can forgive me after I put him on the cross if Jesus can
forgive you if Jesus can say no matter what you do I will never leave thee nor
forsake that doesn't mean that he allows us to just do whatever that doesn't mean
that there's not weeping and sewing that doesn't mean that there's not
chastisement we understand all that but if Jesus says I will never walk away
from you then you and I should say that to our spouse to our kids to our
relationships in our lives this fires and I would pray family father Lord I
realize that sermons like these are not popular people get offended people get
upset people get uncomfortable I get that that's not my goal that's not my
purpose but Lord I also realize there are some young people some young
couples some current couples in this auditorium listening online all over
that need to hear these this type of preaching and unfortunately is not being
brought forth from the pulpits in America anymore Lord help us to walk out
of here saying you know what I'm gonna try to be like Jesus I'm gonna not walk
away from this I'm gonna work at it I'm gonna try to be the husband that God has
called me to be I'm gonna try to be the wife that God has called me to be want
to work at this thing help us Lord to be able to have our marriages be a
picture of Christ and the church the way it was intended to be in the matchless
name of Christ we pray amen