Alright, so I'm continuing my series on the family and last week I spoke about husbands
and husbands to love your wives and how to look after your wives, how to be a good husband
according to the word of God and then on Sunday, happy Father's Day, fathers, on Sunday you
guys got a good Sunday morning message from brother David.
Now I was going to preach on fathers soon, like literally next week, but now I'm going
to just can that because I think the Father's Day message was good enough, covered a lot
of similar points that I would have covered in the message anyway.
So we're continuing this series on the family here and now instead of looking at the husbands
we're going to be looking at the wives.
Look at Proverbs 31 verse 10.
Proverbs 31 verse 10, the Bible asks the question, who can find a virtuous woman?
The title for the sermon tonight is a virtuous woman.
Hey, who can find her?
This is saying it's rare to look for a virtuous woman, a wife that you can say this is a virtuous
wife.
If you have a good wife, you can say my wife is virtuous, praise God you found one.
Praise God because a lot of people are asking this question, who can find one?
In this day and age, 2019, it's hard to find virtuous women.
There's a lot of harlots out there.
There's a lot of promiscuous women out there.
There's a lot of ungodly ladies out there.
There's a lot of feminists.
I feel sorry for the men that are growing up in this generation trying to find that
virtuous woman.
It's getting harder and harder, but they're still out there.
They're still out there.
And here's the thing as well guys, when we look at the characteristics, the qualities
of the virtuous woman, especially if you're a lady, you might say, well, there's a lot
of things here.
It's a high calling.
It is a high calling.
But here's the thing, you know, the Bible gives us these things so we can work toward
those things.
And I don't want you to look at this list and say, well, I didn't meet that.
I'm a failure.
No, no, no.
It's here so you can strive, you know, to do better.
You can strive to be a better wife.
You can strive to be that virtuous woman.
So if there's anything here that, you know, you're not up to speed with, well, work toward
it.
Ask the Lord God to help you in your marriage.
Now, you don't need to turn that off, just quickly read to you from Ephesians 5, 22.
You guys stay in Proverbs 31 because that's where we're going to spend most of our time.
In Ephesians 5, 22, the Bible says, wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as
unto the Lord.
As unto the Lord.
You say, well, submit myself to my husband, but how am I, like, really?
Just, you know, all the time?
As much as you would be submissive to the Lord Jesus Christ.
Wow, what a huge calling.
How contrary.
Again, in 2019 to here, I just read, I read to you the Bible just then.
I didn't make that up.
I didn't go in there with a pen and write it in all your Bibles, you know, before you
guys came to church.
No, it's there.
Be submissive to your husbands.
It's one of the harder things to do.
Verse 23 says, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of
the church and is the savior of the body.
Your husband, wives, is your head.
Get used to it.
You know, your head is not past like Kevin Tepulveda.
You know, your head is not your father if you're married, okay?
If you're unmarried, your head is your father.
But I'm talking about married women right now.
I'm talking about wives.
Your head is not, I don't know, what are the heads?
You know, your employer, that's not your head, you know, if you get a job.
Your head, according to the Bible, is your husband, and you're meant to be submissive
unto him.
And when the Bible uses the term submissive, it means you need to lower yourself to his
authority, lower yourself to his authority.
Again, contrary to the message our young girls are receiving these days by society, you know,
you need to give up the resistance.
You know, being married is not, you know, I've got 50% of the authority and my husband
has 50% authority.
No, no, no, your husband has 100% of the authority over that family, 100% of the authority over
his wife.
And yes, wife, you do have authority, but not only over your husband, you have authority
over the children should the Lord bless you with that fruit of the womb.
And so, think about this right now, what I just said, wouldn't I just get in trouble
by every feminist organization out there with what I just said?
I'm just reading the Bible.
I'm just showing you what the Bible says, all right?
You know, it wasn't me, it was God's Word.
Look, here's the thing, guys.
Think about how often marriages fail.
I mean, Brother Kenny, you were telling me, what's the percentage of marriages that fail
or end in divorce?
What was it again?
It's basically 93.4%.
93.4%.
Okay, of marriages.
Of all first marriages that end in divorce.
Maybe in 10 years.
In Australia or just?
America.
Well, I mean, I'll assume it's something similar to that, okay?
Now think about this, think about this.
If a woman was considering, I need to be under subjection to this man, do you think she'll
be a little bit more careful about the decision she makes before she gets married?
Don't you think she's going to try to find the best man out there?
You know, she says, look, it's till death do us part, I need to be submissive to the
man.
Because this man is, for the rest of my life, you know how God does not want divorce, God
hates divorce.
You've had that in the back of your mind, doesn't this mean you're going to be extra
careful before you make the decision, okay?
And if you say, well, Brother Kevin, I already messed it up, I already made a mistake in
my marriage.
But what about your children?
We want our children not to make the same mistakes that others have made in the past.
We need to care about the children, the next generation.
If we've made mistakes, well, confess it to Jesus if you haven't already, put it behind
you, move forward, and make sure your kids get the best instruction they can from the
Bible.
Now the reason why people just end marriages and divorce is because women do not think
about, you know, that they're going to be subject, being subject under that man.
You know, they're thinking, well, if it doesn't work out, if we have problems, we can just
end it and try again.
No, no, wrong approach, wrong approach.
You need to realize I need to be under this man, I need to make the best decision I can,
and I believe this is where your father steps in, because who's going to want the best for
the little girls?
Their fathers.
This is where a father steps in and says, you know what, daughter?
That man that you're after, that man that you like, he's going to treat you like trash.
Don't marry him.
Or this other man out there, you know, yes, he's a godly man, he has a heart for the Lord.
I can see that he cares for his parents, I can see that he's a good friend, I can see
that he'll be a good husband and that he'll love you.
You know, young girls many times do not want to heed the advice of their fathers, but their
fathers want the best for them.
Their fathers want to give their hand in marriage to a man that they know will look after them
just as much as they did, or even better than the fathers did.
Okay?
So, keep this in mind, being submissive doesn't mean that you're lower in importance, it just
means we have different roles and responsibilities that God has given me, you know, given us.
If I go to work and I have an employer over me, you know, we're submissive in all aspects
of life, aren't we?
You've got a manager over you, you've got an employer, you're submissive to that employer,
to that organization for the 8 hours or whatever 10 hours that you work, okay?
Does that mean your boss is more important than you?
Is he more special than you?
Is he a greater human being?
You know, you could be better than that boss!
It's just that we have different authorities, you know, we have order of things in order
for things to function the best.
Families need to have one head, not two heads, not two heads, one head, and that's the husband,
the husband, the head of the wife.
Look at Proverbs 31 verse 10, Proverbs 31 verse 10, who can find a virtuous woman for
her prices far above rubies, far above rubies.
You know, people work hard these days to, you know, have substance, you know, people
wish they had valuable things like rubies.
Well, you know what's better than a ruby, her prices are far above rubies, is a godly
wife.
You know, ladies, if you want to be someone that's valued by your husband, you know, I
ask you, please, seek what we see in Proverbs 31, the virtuous woman, and aim to be this
lady.
When the Bible says he, virtue, a virtuous woman, it means someone of great worth, someone
that is valuable, someone that's excellent, highly effective, with strength, not just
physical strength, but strength in moral and strength in character.
That's what it means to be virtuous, we get the term virtue from.
Look at Proverbs 31 verse 1, just verse 1 there, verse number 1.
It starts off with this instruction, it says, the words of King Lemuel, the prophecy that
his mother taught him.
Hey, there's a mother of a king, I believe King Lemuel is Solomon, okay, I believe it's
Solomon, it's just a nickname given to Solomon, so this is Solomon's mother giving him advice
about which woman to marry.
You know, he says, look, look for the virtuous woman.
And mothers, you know, wives, if you've got children, if you've got boys, teach your boys
to look for a virtuous woman.
You know, one thing that I'm very thankful for is growing up in a Christian home.
You know, when it came to, you know, the decision that I was finding the right woman, it was
my mum.
My mum would always say to me, Kevin, all the time, every time she had an opportunity.
Even before I even cared about finding a lady, when I was just a kid, she was like, Kevin,
marry a Christian woman, make sure you marry a good woman, you know, she'd always tell
me these things, tell me these things, it'd always be at the back of my mind, then when
I had the interest and desire to find a wife, always in the back of my head was those advice
from my mum.
You know, she was like, I'm like King Lemuel, like, my mum's given me that advice.
And even though it's come from his mother, you can see that these are inspired words
of God, and they've been penned down in the scriptures for us.
We can see that a good mother will instruct her sons as to which woman he ought to be
looking for, which woman he ought to marry.
Let's drop down to verse number 11, Proverbs 31, we're in Proverbs 31, verse 11.
The Bible says, the heart of her husband, though safely trust in her, so that he shall
have no need of spoil.
The first thing I want you to notice there is that her husband trusts her.
You know, wives, does your husband, can you say, my husband trusts me?
Can you say that?
And if you say, well, you know what, I don't think my husband trusts me.
Well, maybe you need to work toward these qualities of being a virtuous woman.
You know, again, she should be someone under subjection, should be someone that takes care
of the needs of the family and of the house.
You know, she's someone that takes care of the finances.
I know a lot of men, a lot of husbands, they can't trust their wives with money.
Okay, honestly, you know, men that can't give their wives a credit card because they know
she'll just go out there shopping and spend all the money.
You know, I'm saying seriously, I know people like this where they have to limit the financial
transaction only transfer small amounts to their wives, honey, you can only spend this
much.
Hey, that's not someone who safely trusts in his wife.
Ladies, if you got a problem with spending money, I hope no one here does, but a lot
of women do.
Okay, go shopping, they go crazy.
But if that's you, that's not the attributes of a virtuous woman.
You know, when it comes to my wife, we have one bank account, she's got full access to
all the money there.
I don't check up on her.
Look, she spends money all the time.
I don't check up with her how much she's spending.
I really, my heart safely trusts in her.
I know she's not going to go crazy with the finances, okay.
And even when it's a little bit expensive, she might even come to me and say, hey, do
you think it's okay if we buy this huge?
I'm like, yeah, whatever.
And if you think we need it, you know, I trust her enough to know, well, I guess if we need
it, just get it, just get it because I don't want to, you know, my family to go without.
Okay.
So, you know, does your husband safely trust in me?
You need to be someone that is trustworthy.
How else can I husband trust in his wife?
Well, this husband knows that she will be faithful to him all the days of her life,
that she will not be out there looking at, looking for attention of another man.
Okay.
And this is why I'm against ladies, wives, especially in the workforce.
I'm again, I believe the Bible is against this.
You say, why?
You know, you just, you know, chauvinist or something.
Look, I've been in the workforce, right?
I've worked with a lot of ladies and I've worked with a lot of married ladies.
Do you think that stops them from flirting from men in the, in the company?
It happens all the time.
Okay.
These are women that the men cannot safely trust in.
Okay.
And we need to make sure that our wives, wives, that you're someone that has your heart and
your eyes only on your husband.
And even when your husband fails and he will fail from time to time, I'm not saying it's
okay, it's bad if they're failing, when they're failing to give you attention, it doesn't
mean you go and get attention from some other man.
It doesn't mean you go get attention from even the pastor or someone that you think
is spiritual.
No.
These things happen.
You see adultery, you see fornication, these things, you know, happen when women are seeking
the heart of another man or vice versa.
But you know, a virtuous woman is someone the husband says, I know she will be faithful
to me all the days of her life.
And again, the importance, men, you know, to say, I'd not just marry any lady out there,
but to say, hey, this is a godly woman, someone I can safely trust in.
This is the person I'm going to take and look after and, and, and love her all the days
of my life.
It also says there, so that in verse number 11, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
I kind of scratched my head a little bit about this, when the Bible uses the word spoil,
it's usually when, you know, two nations go to war, all right, and the victorious nation
then takes the spoil, you know, the resources or you know, the money from the defeated nation
as a compensation, basically, of the war, because war is very expensive, you lose lives
and you know what?
Everyone, we get to take all your good stuff, and that's the spoil, we get to take all the
bounty for ourselves.
And so what I see here, if you're a virtuous wife, then your husband will have no need
of spoil, meaning he won't need to go elsewhere and take what belongs, that doesn't belong
to him, that belongs to others, he won't need to go to war, as it were, and take the spoil
from someone else, no, he would have more, everything that he needs from this virtuous
wife that he has, okay.
Now look at verse number 12, she will do him good and not evil all the days of her
life, all the days of her life, because why?
Because marriage is till death do us part, all the days of her life, she will do him
good and not evil, meaning she will not get back at him, she will not try to take vengeance
or revenge on her husband, if he's done something wrong, you know, she's not a woman that will
go and speak evil of her husband, again, I'm just thinking of the workforce, how many
times did I see women in the workforce speaking bad of their husbands, bagging out their husbands,
saying what a failure they are, saying what a bad leader they are, all those kinds of
things, no, you know, that's speaking evil of your husband, that's not a virtuous woman,
that's not a virtuous woman, a virtuous woman will do him good and not evil all the days
of her life, you know, this is a woman who will be thankful for the provisions of her
husband, and ladies, let me say this, you know, your husbands, you know, they should
be working men, they should be out there, you know, making sure that they provide for
you, they put a roof over your head, they can feed you, they can clothe you, they can
take care of the needs of the children, all these things, they work hard to do this, and
let me say wives, one of the sweetest things your husbands can hear is every now and again
for you to say thank you, hey, thank you for getting out there and working hard every day,
thank you for making sure that the family is always provided for, you know, just those
little words of appreciation go a long way to the heart of a man, because that's what
they desire, right, we looked at the desire of man to work hard, provide for his family,
and when he's doing it, and his wife says thank you, man, that's the best thing you'll
ever hear, that's the best thing men will hear, and they'll love, that's doing good
to your husband, not speaking evil of him. Verse number 13, she seeketh wool and flax,
and worketh willingly with her hands, alright, so a housewife is what, if she's working willingly,
she's a working woman, she's a working woman, I'm sick and tired of people coming up to
me, well it doesn't happen so much now, but in the past, because now we've got 10 kids,
right, but in the past, people say to me, you know, is your wife ever going to work,
you know, again, in the workplace, other ladies come up to me, so your wife stays at home,
is she ever going to work, are you kidding me, she's working more than you, she's working
hard, she's looking after the house, she's looking after 5, 6, 7, 8 kids, whatever it
was, you know, she's working hard, that's what, you know, a virtuous woman is a working
woman, just because she's not outside of the house in some organization, just because she's
not being submissive to another man, doesn't mean she's not working, okay, look, being
at home being submissive to her husband is her employment, that's her calling in life,
and that's a virtuous woman working to make sure those things are taken care of, now this
woman in particular, what is she doing, she's sick of wool and flax, now wool is basically
material that comes from a sheep or a goat, and flax is a linen that comes from like a
plant or a vegetable, okay, so obviously, when we look at this, we're looking at people
that have fields and have cattle and have crops and those kinds of things, so this woman
obviously is working and making garments, I guess for her family, you know, we live
in a bit of a different day and age these days, because, you know, we don't really need
to make clothes these days, right, I mean, you just go to Kama and you buy a piece of
clothing or something, you go, whatever shops you go to, and so, you know, this woman in
particular is working, making clothing or, you know, making fabrics, these kinds of things,
but still, even if that's not the case, there's still a lot of work to do around in the house,
you know, if you're not that person, this just gives us the example of someone who's
always making sure that the resources, you know, the needs for the family are being met,
but the thing I want you to take away from this is that she's someone who is developing
her skills, you know, she's skillful at making fabrics, you know, making clothing, whatever
it is, she's skillful at these things, and I think it's important, ladies, for you when
you're at home to continue developing your skills as much as you can, you know, trying
to learn things, you know, my mum loves to knit, you know, and I know these days knitting
is a bygone, like, it's a skill that really you don't need, but I love that when my mum
would teach Isabel how to knit, because then Isabel would make like a scarf and little
things like that, hey, that's learning, that's training, that's learning how to be skillful
with your hands, how to be a working person, you know, and we need to make sure that especially
our daughters, you know, husbands and fathers and mothers, we need to make sure that our
daughters, the things they're learning, you know, how practical is it really, you know,
if what you want is basically your daughter to seek a career in her life and make a name
for her in a career, yeah, I guess you could do that if you wanted to, but she's not going
to be working toward being that virtuous woman, if you wanted to be that virtuous woman
here, you need to be thinking about how can I put my daughters in training or being educated
or being, you know, developing the skills in order for them to be godly wives, you know,
what is it that they need to do around the house, and I don't want to have a go at my
mum, but my mum tells me the story before she got married, well, when she got married,
she said, I didn't even know how to make a cup of tea, isn't that right, mum? My mum
goes, I didn't even know how to make a cup of tea, now every time I come from Sydney,
my mum makes me a coffee, you know, so at least I can see she's developed, she's developed
those skills, right, but here's the thing, you know, we need to make sure that our daughters
know how to make a cup of tea, right, we need to make sure that our daughters know how to
take care of the needs of her husband at the time she gets married, okay, and it's never
too late to develop skills, you know, I would encourage you, you know, especially if you're,
you know, sometimes I see people retire, you know, from work and at 65 usually people retire
and then you see older people starting to lose their minds, you know, because they're
not practising, they're not, you know, they're not exercising their minds, their brains as
much as they used to, I think it's always important, even if you get to an age of retirement,
you can no longer work, that you continue exercising your mind, you continue learning
new things, there's no need for you to stop, there's no need for you to stop and I think,
I believe, you know, especially a lady should continue developing her skills so one day
then she can train her daughters, look at verse number 14, she is like the merchant's
ships, she bringeth her food from afar, so of course the merchant ships, you have ships
that take, you know, resources and, you know, imports from one, or sorry, exports from one
nation to another nation and it says, look, the virtuous woman is like this, she's like
these ships, you know, going from one shop to another shop, you know, I kind of get the
idea that, you know, a virtuous woman is someone who is frugal with the finances, you
know, she looks for the best deals, you know, she won't necessarily go to this store because
that's very expensive at this point, hey, this store has this, at this point in time,
we're going to go there, we're going to do the grocery shopping there, you know, she's
looking for those vouchers, she's looking, hey, how can I be productive, how can I make
sure that the imports that come into this house is the best value, maybe the best quality
for the best value that we can get in the house, so she's very mindful about how the
expenses of the household are being taken care of, you know, she's not someone that
is constantly eating out, you know, eating out is so expensive, you know, I know some
families that basically eat out every day, okay, and it's usually because both mother
and father are working, and so the easiest thing, let's just go eat out, it's just the
easiest thing to do, rather than, you know, everyone's tired and cooking a meal, she's
someone who has been mindful with the expenses of the household, look at verse number 15,
she riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion
to her maidens, hey, so the virtuous woman here is an early riser, early riser, she's
up pretty quickly in the morning, she giveth meat to her household, she makes sure that
breakfast is served, basically, okay, to her household, to her children, to her servants
here, it says, and a portion to her maidens, okay, now if you don't know what a maiden
is, it's basically, you know what a maid is, okay, a maid is like a servant, okay, so in
this, and it's something you need to keep in the back of your minds, ladies, because
you might say this, I can never do what this woman does, but keep in mind she's got servants
under her, okay, she's got maidens under her, but you can see the key thing here, even though
the maidens and the servants are doing a lot of the work, she's in charge of her house
even then, you know, the servants, the maids are under her authority is what I'm trying
to say, you know, they're doing the work, but she makes sure that not only is her family
taken care of, not only is her family being fed, but she makes sure that her servants
are being taken care of, and you might say to me, you know, we'll never get to the point
where we can afford servants in our house, that's fine, but you know what you can afford?
Children, you can afford children, some of the best servants I have, the best servants
I have, I've got 10 of them, I've got 10 servants running around the house, all right, you know,
even my little ones, I can say, hey, can you put this cup in the, you know, this cup in
the sink, you know, my little three year old gets the cup and she takes it to the sink,
and the older ones have to wash the dishes, hey, they're the servants, they're the maidens,
all right, so listen, you know, make sure, ladies, mothers, you know, with your children,
you make them productive, you know, get them to help you around the house, there's a lot
of things to do, okay, and as you start to get these hands that are able to help, use
them, you know, teach them, train them, you know, make them realise they have to work
and be productive, it's going to make your life easier, and you can be in charge, you
can be overseeing the work that's being done in the house.
Verse number 16, verse number 16, she considerth a field and buyeth it, so again, she's got,
you know, control over the finances, with the fruit of her hands, she planteth a vineyard,
okay, with the fruit of her hands, she planted a vineyard, again, you might say, well, you
know, I can't afford a field, you know, I can't afford a house, that's okay, you know,
again, we're looking at the wife of a king here, okay, obviously, they have money, they
have wealth, they have possessions, but again, you see the mindset of this woman, okay, even
though her priority is not out there to go get a career, she's still thinking, how can
we generate an income with the house, how can I, you know, what's the best way that
I can make sure, you know, we cut costs, how can I make sure that we bring in more of an
income, you know, and those questions, you know, for you, you need to figure out what
they are for your family, how you can do this, it's not that she's working a job first, you
know, in a career, it's not that she's in an office first and then she comes home, now,
before she worries about going and spending money, before she worries about the income,
she's first concerned for her household, then once those things are taken care of, her next
thought is, how can I help my husband, you know, with the income in the family, and I'll
just give you one practical way my wife would do this, you know, earlier on in our lives
when we didn't really have the, you know, we weren't that comfortable with our finances,
my wife would buy a lot of children's clothes, secondhand children's clothes on eBay, on
eBay and, you know, kids grow pretty quickly, so they're, you know, especially when they're
little, so they won't necessarily wear clothes for that long and then they're out of it and
then, you know, so on and so forth, so my wife would, let's say we needed summer clothing,
my wife Christina, she would buy summer clothes in winter, okay, so in winter, no one's looking
for summer clothes, right, and so when you go on eBay on winter, look for summer clothes,
it's really cheap, you can buy heaps of cheap stuff on a really low price and she'd buy
good quality stuff, not just cheap things that, you know, you put in the wash and they're
shrunk or whatever, she'd buy good quality clothing, you know, during, out of season
basically and then our kids would wear it and then once they grew out of it, she would
sell it again on eBay, okay, instead of it being secondhand, now it's thirdhand and because
they're good quality, they still look awesome, the clothing still look awesome but now it's
thirdhand but when she sold it, she sold it in season, right, so she sold the summer clothes,
she bought it in winter but then she sold it in summer and many times she would get
more for selling a thirdhand piece of clothing than what she bought it as a secondhand piece
of clothing and that's pretty smart, that's someone who is virtuous, that's someone thinking
about how can we make sure that the dollars we have in this household, you know, last
long, you know, how we can do now, we don't do that so much now because all the kids that
we have, you know, basically the clothes just get passed down, passed down, passed down,
by the time it gets to the sixth boy, it's destroyed, so you're not going to be able
to sell it on eBay anymore but hey, that's something my wife was doing, you know, and
I think, you know, it's important for wives to be thinking about this, how can I help,
you know, bring in a greater income, there's many ways you can do this but don't do it
at the expense of your household, you got to put the needs of your household first,
once you do that then you can buy that field and plant that vineyard and all those things.
Verse number 17, she girdeth her loins with strength, she strengtheneth her arms, now,
you know, another thing that I noticed with, you know, working wives, you know, especially
with children is they gain strength, have you guys ever tried to hold a little one like
that for long, men?
I'm telling you, after a little while, you're like, oh man, can I give you back to the mother?
It doesn't matter how big your muscles are, all right, after a while you carry that little
child around, man, this is heavy, you know, this is wearing me down but, you know, mums
often are carrying that child, often doing things, trying to cook, taking care of the
kids, you know, they strengthen their arms, I'm surprised when my wife has small she is,
I'm surprised how long she can carry that little baby, she can carry, you know, longer
than I can, you know, she was able to strengthen her arms in that area and why, because she's
productive, because she's working, because she's looking after the needs of her family,
you know, we need to make sure, ladies, that you're not, you know, a girl that's too scared
to break your fingernail, you know, Disney princesses don't exist in real life, okay,
I know you want to play, you know, dress up like a princess, you know, when you're little
and you want to ride that little unicorn pony, you know, and you want to pretend that,
you know, some prince is going to come your way and marry you and he's going to give you
everything you need, you'll never have to work a day of your life, you'll never break
a fingernail, that's never going to happen, all right, you know, put away that idea and
start working toward being a virtuous woman, a virtuous woman is someone that works hard,
she will break her fingernails, okay, she's someone that is not that Disney princess,
look at verse number 18, she perceiveth that her merchandise is good, her candle goeth
not out by night, she layeth her hands to the spindle and her hands hold the distaff,
so the spindle, the distaff I assume is, well, the spindle is basically for like linen, for
threads and things like that, so it plays into that idea with the wool and the flax
and all that kind of stuff, so again, you know, she's working, but I want you to notice
there that it says that her candle, in verse number 18, her candle goeth not out by night,
so a virtuous woman is someone that gets up early, you know, makes sure that her household
is, you know, gets breakfast, but her candle does not go out by night either, and this
is one reality that you must realise and fathers, you need to remember this, husbands, you need
to remember this, you know, we have the luxury of going to work, let's say we work 9 o'clock,
we end 5 o'clock, you know, our day's done, we finish our work, but when it comes to motherhood,
it never ends, you know, motherhood is 24-7, you know, every moment, I mean, every mother
can testify to this, right, when you have that newborn baby and that newborn's crying
at night, dads can't breastfeed that baby, you know, mum's got to get up there and make
sure the baby's taken care of, mum's got to get up and make sure the baby's been fed,
whatever hours of the night, the candle does not go out for a mother, and that's something
you need to remember, men, your wife's work will never finish, okay, it's 24-7, just remember
that, you guys get a break, you get a break from the daily grind, her daily grind continues
and that's why you need to make sure you're there for her, you're there to support her
as she works, verse number 20, verse number 20, she stretched out her hand to the poor,
yea, she reached forth her hands to the needy, so what else does this virtuous woman do?
She tries to, you know, bring in a bit of an income, tries to make sure, you know, she's
wise with the money, but a virtuous woman isn't doing this just for her family, it says
here the virtuous woman stretched out her hand to the poor, a virtuous woman is a generous
woman and I'm thankful for the ladies in this church that come every now and again and you
bring a cake or you bring a little, you know, some finger food, hey, that's being generous,
that's saying hey, there's a need in the church, there's probably a few hungry guys there,
you know what, I've got a bit of time, I'll bring some food, hey, it's being virtuous,
that's being generous, that's reaching out your hand to the poor, I don't know, some
of you guys are poor, you know, we're not that poor, but you know, to the poor and to
the needy, you know, ladies are usually more in tune with people in need, okay, usually,
you know, ladies will usually figure out, hey, you know what, brother so and so, sister
so and so, they're downcast, they're needy, there's something there, what can we do to
help them, you know, this person's sick, should I bring them a meal, usually the ladies are
thinking about that, man, we're not usually thinking about that too much, okay, and so
we see the virtuous woman is a woman who is generous, it's not just a household, once
the household needs are taken care of, she goes, what can I do now for other people?
Verse 21, verse 21, she's not afraid of the snow for her household, so when winter comes
around, she's not worried, why she's not worried, look at this, for all her household are clothed
with scarlet, okay, so the idea here, of course, in the winter months, obviously, we need to
rug up, we need our jumpers, we need our jackets, we need our warm pants, whatever, you know,
our extra pair of socks, when winter comes around, the virtuous woman is not concerned,
she's not afraid of it, she's saying, look, I've prepared my family for this coming winter,
you know, I've made sure that, you know, my children have the needs that they need, you know,
just make sure that, you know, we've got the extra blankets on the bed, she makes sure that
her household remains warm and taken care of, that's what the virtuous woman is thinking about,
she's not thinking about just today, she's thinking about the coming months, the colder
months that are coming, do we have the resources, do we have the clothing, you know, to get through
the winter months, and when it says here that her household are clothed with scarlet, you know,
scarlet's a bit of like a reddish colour, I'm not sure what to make of this, but I kind of think
about, when you look at summer clothing, don't people just kind of dress like more colourful,
you know, usually it's like, you know, you've got your brighter colours during summer,
but then during winter, people are usually dressed kind of like pretty dark, like black and brown,
and those, well, during winter, instead of, you know, her family looking, you know, black,
like they got black and brown clothing, they got scarlet, they've got the happy colours,
they got the bright colours, you know, so I'm just thinking about, you know, how, you know,
her family's not dressed sort of in a in a daggy way, you know, they're presentable,
they look good, they look clean on the outside, even during those colder months, and I think this
ties in with verse number 22, look at verse 22, she make of herself coverings of tapestry,
her clothing is silk and purple. Now, ladies, you might say, well, I don't have silk clothing,
pretty expensive. Well, you know, I understand that probably not. Again, think about this woman,
she's the king's wife, you know, and of course, I think what the lesson we can take out of this
is that the virtuous woman takes care of how she looks as well, you know, not we're going through
the characteristics within her, you know, we see how much she loves her family, we see how much
she loves her husband and children, the servants, the poor and needy, but not only does she have a
good character within, but she also tries to look presentable on the outside, you know, maybe she
tries to look a little bit more attractive for her husband as well, you know, when he comes home from
work, she doesn't want to look, you know, daggy and, you know, hair at a place and, you know,
not looking after them, she dresses herself with silk and purple, she makes herself presentable.
Verse number 23, her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the
land, so her husband, when the Bible says that he sits there in the gates, you know, the gates of a
city is basically where people will enter and exit the city, so he's someone that's involved in
business, he's someone that's well known, he's someone that's involved in, you know, in the, I
guess, the development of the city, and so she married someone that is well known, she married
someone that is respectable, he's known in the gates of the city, all right, he sitteth among the
elders of the land, that means he's a man with wisdom, he's someone that can contribute to society,
he's someone that sits with the elders, you know, some God-fearing men, people that fear the Lord,
people that desire to serve the Lord, he sits with the right kind of people there in the city,
and again, we're just brought to remembrance, girls, you've got to be careful with who you marry,
make sure you marry a man who is respectable, make sure you marry a man that has wisdom, you know,
don't just go for the looks, again, ask your dad, dad, what do you think of this young man,
your dad might, you know what, you know, if he's like, no way, believe him, trust him, all right,
it doesn't matter how cute he might look to you, if dad says no, you know, that guy's got to stay
away from you, make sure you take heed of what he says, your dad has good instincts, he knows how
men think, okay, and he wants to make sure, you know, the right man is there looking after his
daughter, make sure, ladies, that you marry the right man, make sure you marry a man that is
respectable. Verse number 24, she make a fine linen and sell of it, again, she's good with
the finances, and deliver of girdles unto the merchant. Verse number 25, strength and honor
are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come. So not only does she look after herself,
not only that she'll make sure she looks presentable, but that's not her only clothing,
she's not just concerned on the outward, is she? It says here, strength and honor are her clothing,
when someone looks at the virtuous woman, the first thing they think about and how she's dressed,
that's a strong woman, that's an honorable woman, that's a godly woman, that's the first thing when
people look at the virtuous woman, that's what they're thinking about, they're not thinking
about, oh, she's got my shoes, you know, that's a new dress, no, no, no, that's a godly woman
right there. Wives, this is what you need to be working toward, making sure that the most
presentable part of you, the part that is known by the people, by your church, by your family
and friends, is your strength and your honor that you have, the high standards, the good morals,
you know, being a godly person, okay, being pure on the outside. Please keep your finger
then, go to 1 Timothy chapter 2, 1 Timothy chapter 2 verse 9.
1 Timothy chapter 2 verse 9, 1 Timothy chapter 2 verse 9, the Bible says, in like manner also,
that women adorn themselves in modest apparel with shamefacedness and sobriety, this is what
we're talking about, how do we adorn a virtuous woman, how do we adorn a godly woman, she needs
to be someone with shamefacedness, you know what that means, that she's not someone that's loud
and obnoxious, you know, that she's just in your face, you know, I'm sure we can all think of a
lady that might be like that, you know, somebody in our lives, so it's like, man, that woman,
she's so loud, she's so opinionated, no, she's got to be someone who is shamefacedness and sobriety,
someone that's that's sound mentally, not with broided hair or gold or pearls or costly array,
that's not saying that it's wrong to put on gold, it's not saying it's wrong to fix up your hair,
but that's not what ought to make what the, you know, the most important part of the woman,
that's not what it says whatever, verse number 10, but which become of women professing godliness
with good works, that's what ought to make wives, ladies, this is what you ought to be known for,
a woman of good works, a woman who is sober, a woman who is godly, that's how you need to
present yourself, okay, nothing wrong with fixing yourself out on the outside, we saw the virtuous
woman does that as well, but more important than that is her character, her godly nature,
go back to Proverbs 31 please, Proverbs 31 verse 26,
Proverbs 31 verse 36, 26, sorry, 26, verse 26, verse 26,
she openeth her mouth with wisdom, okay, and in her tongue is the law of kindness,
okay, with wisdom, with wisdom, you know, ladies you need to, you know, learn how to be wise,
you know, not to be a foolish person and not to be an airhead of a woman, okay, you need to learn
wisdom and with your tongue the law of kindness, the law of kindness, ladies sometimes, I know
this is an area that sometimes is struggled, you know, with a lot of women, especially in churches,
you know, when they speak, it's not kindness, many times when people open their mouths,
they open their mouths to destroy their fellow brethren, okay, or they see a brother or sister
in the Lord struggling in life and they speak words to just keep them down instead of lifting
them, instead of lifting them up, instead of edifying the brethren, they would rather
continue to beat the brethren down when they're down, no, a virtuous woman has a tongue of kindness,
the law of kindness in her tongue, you know, she knows how to edify people around her,
she knows how to be kind, even when someone's failing, she knows how to help them and to guide
them, verse number 27, she looketh well, well, she looketh well to the ways of her household
and eateth not the bread of idleness, virtuous woman, you're not looking for a time to be idle,
you're not looking to be like, oh, I want to have, you know, the Disney princess, like I said,
you know, I've got nothing to do, no, you're not looking for that, you ought to be looking well
for your household, how can I improve this family, how can I make it easier for us, how can we make
sure our family is more productive, how can I make sure, you know, that my husband, you know,
is able to leave home on time for work, how can I make sure that we can get to church on time,
how can we make sure, you know, that the kids are looked after, all these things, she's looking well
to the ways of her household, verse 28, and I love verse 28, her children arise up and call her
blessed, what a blessing, the virtuous woman, this is how you know if you're a virtuous woman,
is if your children say, mom, you're the best mom in the world, you're a blessed woman,
I love you mom, when you start hearing those words from your children, hey, you're working here toward
being that virtuous woman, again, how many times do you go to the shops these days, and you hear
the little children abuse their parents, you know, parents saying, hey, come here little Johnny,
you know, no, I don't want to, you know, or even swear at their parents or whatever, you know,
no, you know, I feel like taking them and getting them a rod, you know, fixing them up sometimes,
because they're not my kids though, right, so, but look, you know, you know, children, a virtuous
woman, you're going to have children that love you, that appreciate what you did, and not just
your children, look at verse 28, her husband also, and he prays of her, hey husbands, that's what you
need to do from time to time, if you haven't done it for a little while, you need to learn to praise
your wife, you know, you need to learn to maybe, you know, you say maybe, you know, we're a bit
short financially, it doesn't matter, maybe it's time to buy her some flowers, I don't know, does
your wife like flowers, I don't know, a box of chocolates, whatever it is, you know, it's sometimes
it's time to get a gift and give your wife, if she's been serving you faithfully, serving the
families faithfully, she's been a virtuous woman, you need to remember to praise your wives,
and what I'm getting out of this is, if a woman is virtuous, her husband will do, you know,
we'll praise her naturally, it's just going to come naturally, it's going to be like, man,
she's been such a great wife, she's been such a great mother, you know, thank you so much honey,
thank you for serving the family, you deserve to be praised. Verse number 29, look how he
praises her, these are the words of the husband to the wife, he says, many daughters have done
virtuously, but thou excelest them all, he goes, look, there's a lot of good godly ladies out there
honey, but you're the best, you excel them all, you're the best one, that's how you need to be
husbands to your wives, you know, if she's a virtuous woman, you say it's the best, you know,
when she serves you spaghetti bolognese, say this is the best spaghetti I've ever eaten,
it doesn't matter if your mum did it better, say it's the best honey, you know, you excel them all,
you know, that's the praise the husbands need to be given their wives. Look at verse number 30,
favour is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that fearth the Lord, she shall be praised.
You see, you might marry a beautiful woman, but as time goes on, you know, we age, you know,
we all start to not look as good as we used to in our younger years, but one thing that will remain
is that she fears the Lord, she can continue being praised if she has a great fear for the Lord,
so a virtuous woman is all these things, looking after her family, looking after the strangers,
you know, marrying a godly man, but she's also a spiritual woman, she's someone who fears the Lord,
who's godly, she teaches her children the Bible, and she's praised for being a godly wife. Look
at verse 31, give her the fruit of her hands and let her own, let her own works praise her
in the gates. So it's not just the children praising her, it's not just the husband that
praises her, but her own works are known and they're praised in the gates by the community,
by other people out there, maybe within your church, they'll say, man, you're a good lady,
you're a good wife, you know, you're a godly mother, you're a godly wife, praise God for you,
you're encouragement to me, and if people come up to you and praise you, accept it, it means they've
seen the work of your hands and they praise you, these are the qualities of a virtuous woman,
but so there in verse 31, give her of the fruits of her hands. You see, being a godly wife is not
a slave, you know, you're not, that's what people think about when they think of a,
you know, a stay-at-home mother, you know, a godly wife, no, she's not a slave, she deserves
the fruit of her hands, you know, she labors for the family, she deserves to be rewarded,
like I said, husbands, you know, take time, take your wife out on a date, you know, buy her gifts,
make her feel important, make her feel special, make sure you appreciate the hard work she does,
it is hard work, according to the Bible, it is work, is it not? Being a housewife, being a mother,
being a good wife, it is work, and they deserve to be praised for the work that they do.
In conclusion, guys, I want you to turn to, go to Proverbs chapter 12, Proverbs chapter 12,
we're talking about the virtuous woman, okay, and this phrase virtuous woman
appears three times in the Bible, three times in the Bible, one time is what we just read there
in Proverbs 31, the other times is where you're turning to in Proverbs 12, but don't read it just
yet, the third time that it comes up is in the book of Ruth, Ruth chapter 3 verse 11,
and that's where I'll read to you for now, Ruth chapter 3 verse 11, it says here,
and now my daughter, fear not, I will do to thee all that thou requirest,
for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman.
Wives, do you want your husband to take care of your every need? Do all the things that you need,
according to this verse, you need to be a virtuous woman, this man says, and now my daughter fear not,
I will do to thee all that thou requirest, your husband says, you know what, I'm going to take
care of your every need, and he says why, because you're a virtuous woman, you know, when the husband
sees that virtuous wife working hard, he's going to be just driven, he can't help himself, but give
her everything that she needs, everything that she requires, okay, look at Proverbs chapter 12
verse 4, Proverbs chapter 12 verse 4, the Bible says a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband,
okay, what's a crown, you know, it's like royalty, right, you put on that crown, it's valuable,
the crown makes the king look respectable, it makes the king look powerful, doesn't it,
you know, having a virtuous woman as a wife makes the husband look better, okay, the only reason I
look good as a pastor is because I've got a good wife, if I didn't have her, I'd fail, all right,
if I didn't have her as a virtuous woman, you know, at home, you know, in Queensland every week,
you know, so I can come down here and serve you guys, if she wasn't doing what she can and help
me, I wouldn't be able to be the pastor of this church, a virtuous woman makes you look better,
husbands, make you look better than what you really are, all right, a crown to her husband,
look at this, but she, the reverse of this in verse number four, but she that maketh ashamed
is as rottenness in his bones, wow, you know what ladies, if you're not the virtuous woman,
if you're the opposite to a virtuous woman, the Bible tells us here that you become rottenness
to his bones, like you're going to make him sickly, okay, you're going to make him weak,
you're going to make him weak, and ladies, wives, I want you to think about this, especially then
Proverbs 12 4, which one of these are you to your husband, are you the crown, are you the crown to
her husband, or are you like rottenness in his bones, you know, I hope you're working toward
being that crown, I hope that's what you're aiming for, and if you can say to me, you know what,
I'm probably a bit of rottenness to his bones, it's not too late, okay, it's not too late,
the scriptures are here, so we can look, all right, this is the target, this is what I need
to work toward, and God, with your help, with your strength, your power, I need to start working
toward these things, I want to be a crown to my husband, and if your husband does well,
you're going to be much happier, you're going to be, you know, you're going to have every need
of yours met, but if you're rottenness to his bones, he's not going to be able to serve you
the way a husband should serve his wife.