Hey guys, it's Brother Peter.
So just one more video tonight, I just want to make one more video, another soul winning
tip video about something that I think is interesting and I think is important and that
is our appearance, our presentation and our body language out soul winning.
It's important how we present ourself and the way we move, the way we appear and the
way we dress, it says something about us and you know, over 90% of human communications
are nonverbal communications.
You know, what we say often doesn't line up with how we are, how our body speaks.
You can actually tell more about a person in a lot of cases by their body language and
you know, we can lie with our mouths, but actually, you know, our bodies don't lie.
The part of our brain that's connected to our limbic system, it doesn't lie and it's
harder to deceive people with your body language so than it is with your words.
So we should have the right body language out soul winning and we should have the right
appearance because I just believe that we need to make it easy for people to get saved
out soul winning and we need to attract them and not repel them and we need to have the
right appearance.
You know, one time I was going to a church and I showed up for soul winning on Saturday
and I was dressed in a shirt and tie.
I trimmed my beard and I had a leather jacket on.
I had shine shoes on and I had, you know, a pair of khaki pants on or whatever and my
soul winning partner that day was an older gentleman who had been going through a really
rough time with his daughter and he had been having a lot of family problems and he showed
up soul winning that day just looking like a wreck, a mess.
He had a really thick five o'clock shadow.
His hair was not combed at all.
He was literally wearing dirty sweatpants and a dirty t-shirt and some kind of slippers.
I mean, he must've been going through a really rough time and you know, he wanted to go soul
winning that day and I was like, oh, all right, let's go soul winning and he was my
partner and what we did was we didn't stick together.
We did soul winning on the same street.
I took one side of the street, he took the other side of the street and you know what?
He just was really downtrodden that day.
He was just slumped over, just, you know, dejected, just plodding along, sauntering
along, you know, bad posture, looking like a mess and he actually got the cops called
on him and I was able to talk to people, invite them to church.
I don't think anyone got saved that day, but I was able to have some good communication
with people about the gospel and about church and he actually got the cops called on him
because he looked like something was wrong with him.
He looked like there was something that was wrong, that there's just, he looked like maybe
a mentally ill person walking around or something just because he was so dejected, his body
language and appearance was so bad and that's why this is important.
You know, we're ambassadors for Christ.
You know, Pastor Roger Jimenez said this to me once.
You know, I had just gotten saved and he had just baptized me and I visited his church
and I was wearing shorts to church or whatever and casual clothes and I asked him what he
thought about that and he said, you know, I'm not going to say it's a sin or there's
anything wrong with it.
I don't think there's anything wrong with what you're wearing, but you know, what if
you were invited to dinner at the White House?
You're invited to dinner at the White House to eat with the president.
How would you show up?
Wouldn't you show up in your best, looking your best and you know, wearing a shirt and
tie?
How much more when we go to God's house and how much more when we're out being ambassadors
for Christ and being soul winners and representing the church and more importantly, representing
Jesus Christ who died for the church and that really stuck with me and ever since then,
you know, I believed in wearing a shirt and tie to church and I believe in wearing a shirt
and tie out soul winning.
Now this isn't just like an unbreakable rule for me.
I do sometimes go soul winning in without a shirt and tie, but 95% of the time I am
wearing a shirt and tie and I always make sure I'm, you know, shaved or if I have a
beard, my beard is trimmed and that I'm looking presentable and that you look like you're
there for a purpose.
But besides the way we look, you know, in the way that we're dressed, in our apparel,
our body language needs to be right.
And you know, when I first started thinking about this, I was out soul winning with Pastor
Anderson again, right around when I got saved and I had just been new to soul winning and
I was kind of nervous and I asked him, I was like, you know, any friend for some feedback
and he said, you know, you got to smile.
You got to be friendly.
You know, I believe in a big smile and that again, that stuck with me and I believe in
that too.
And I, you know, it was hard first to force yourself to smile.
You know, I was kind of reserved.
I wasn't, I wasn't as outgoing as I am now.
I had to learn to be like that, but it stuck with me and it is, it's important because
it decreases resistance to people.
You don't want to show up to people's doorsteps and, and look adversarial.
And the way you decrease people's resistance to you is by having good body language when
they first see you, when they first set their eyes on you, because people are naturally
resistant to other people who they think, you know, are trying to, you know, slip something
past them without them noticing.
They're, they're, they're resistant to religious people who they think are trying to deceive
them or trick them or coax them into something that they're wouldn't, you know, that they
wouldn't have an interest in or that they wouldn't have a benefit from getting involved
in.
And they're also resistant to like salespeople and they're just resistant to people.
They're naturally looking to defend themselves and they don't want to be duped.
So let's just, you know, let's, you know, let me tell you another story really quickly,
you know, because body language is important out soul winning.
One time I was out soul winning with a new soul winner and he was with me and my friend
and we were going soul winning in a neighborhood and he had his hands in his pockets the whole
time because he was just clearly nervous.
He had never been soul winning and he wasn't really good friends with me and my friend.
So he was just kind of nervous, but he had his hands in his pockets and he was super
slumped over looking at the ground the whole time, walking very leisurely, just like ambling
along and just kind of just had this like, you know, just dragging his feet along.
And every time we walked up to a door, he had that really bad posture and he was looking
at the ground with his hands in his pockets.
And I said to him, you have to take your hands out of your pockets because it looks like
you're hiding something and people are going to look out the window and when they see this
and he's like 6'3", big 6'3", strong black guy, like really like if people see a big
guy with their hands in their pockets walking up to their door, they're going to be like,
he doesn't look like he's here for a purpose.
He doesn't look like he's, you know, doing anything productive, you know, we need to
look like we're there for a purpose and we need to be open and with our body language,
not have our hands in our pockets.
That's just an example.
You know, it's something that could turn people off and it's something that could prevent
people from getting saved.
So I just want to give some examples of how we can have good body language out soul winning.
First of all, eye contact, make good eye contact out soul winning.
Don't be shifty and looking at the ground.
Eye contact is very, very important and it's something that new soul winners seem to struggle
with and a lot of people struggle with eye contact.
You know, it's important to make eye contact when you're talking to the person and when
they're talking back to you and you have to find the right balance.
Don't be looking all around.
Don't be scared to look the person in the eye.
Have confidence and look at them in the eye.
You are the expert on soul winning.
You need to be confident and look them in the eye and show them that you're a reliable
person to be listening to.
But also don't just stare them dead in the eye 100% of the time, you know, just like
looking really intimidating like a predator.
You know, a general rule is like, you know, 80% of the time you should be making eye contact,
you know, 70 to 80% of the time while you're talking to them and it's, you know, don't
look down when you break eye contact, look up in a way and not down because it just doesn't
look right.
It looks like you might be hiding something or that you don't have good confidence.
Another thing is, you know, smile, smile out so many, you know, big smile, have a look
like you're happy to see them and that you are that you have the joy of the Lord in your
heart.
You know, it's a smiling at someone is a friend signal.
We don't want to give off faux signals and enemy signals to people.
We want to give off friend signals out soul winning like, Hey, we're on the same team.
I'm here to benefit you.
One way you do that is smiling.
Another way you do that is, you know, don't, don't give them knees.
Don't you know, don't, you know, with the furrowed brow, you want to give them like
a smile and like an upward head nod, like a flash of the eyebrows.
That's a friend signal.
You know, if you notice whenever you see, when you see someone you like or you're a
friend of yours, you know, they'll give you a head, a head flash and a head nod and an
eyebrow flash and also their head will be tilted a little bit.
You know, if you notice, you know, it's, for some reason it's just been found that girls
and guys in pictures when, when people were surveyed, you know, people that give a slight
head tilt, they were seen as more attractive and actually when it's another friend signal,
when somebody you like heads your way and you see them, you tend to tilt your head to
one direction.
It's just, it's just a phenomenon.
It's just, that's, that is friendly body language and it's something that human beings perceive
as friendly and that we naturally do when we see something that we like.
So smile, good eye contact and you know, don't, you know, don't look all around.
Don't look down.
Don't, don't squint your eyes.
Don't don't like purse your purse, your lips like that, you know, and don't hide your lips
like that.
Just be open.
Smile.
Have, you know, open by language with your, with your face and your head, you know, with
your torso.
First of all, face them.
So don't be like too, don't be turned all the way.
This way you want to be facing them and look like you're giving them your attention and
you know, also don't creep up on them.
Don't come too close to the door.
You know, I believe that especially when there's three soul owners, sometimes you have groups
of three, the person who's knocking the door, you know, don't even be right up on the door.
But most importantly, I think the silent partner should be a few feet behind.
They should be a few feet behind because you don't want to look like you want to be so
close up on somebody.
You want to be like, look like you're invading their territory.
So when I'm a silent partner, I always, I always fall back a little bit.
And you know, also when I'm knocking the door and I ring the doorbell, if there are steps,
I put one foot on the top step and another foot on the second or third step.
So I'm not just right up on top of the door.
And I think it's just a way, you know, and I kind of leave my torso this way a little
bit so I don't look like I'm just, I don't look threatening.
I'm just kind of open with my body language.
You know, don't be stiff, be loose and have good posture.
Don't be slumped over like that guy I was talking about.
Have good posture.
Look like you're there for a reason.
Look like you're there with confidence.
You know, you're an ambassador for Christ and you know, no man ever spake like Christ.
You're there with his words and you're there with the word of God.
We can know that what we're saying is true.
So we should have good posture and look confident.
You know, our arms and our hands, again, you should be loose.
You know, don't cross your arms like this.
It's like a faux, it's a faux signal.
It shows that you don't like what you're seeing.
You don't like what you're hearing.
It's blocked off.
It's a barrier.
You don't want to do that.
Don't put your hands in your pockets.
You know, especially if you're talking to women, guys, your hands should always be free.
Don't put your hands in your pockets.
You know, if you have your Bible, even put your Bible under your arm and don't, just
don't have stuff in your hands and don't be clutched all up here.
I can just have open body language.
Don't touch your face or your eyes.
And it's a, it's a habit that a lot of people have.
It's like a little bit of a nervous habit, but don't do it.
It just, the other person, their, their subconscious, their subconscious just doesn't receive it
well.
It just doesn't look right.
It's shifty sometimes, you know, when, and when, you know, when, when people start touching
their eyes, it means that they don't like what they're seeing.
Sometimes they're trying to block what they're seeing.
That's why, that's why this, when someone starts squinting their eyes at you, that's
not good either.
So don't touch your face and your eyes and show your hands, have your feet pointed towards
them.
And you know, this is all important.
We should have good body language at soul winning.
I think, um, it's something we should be cognizant of and you also need to be receptive to their
body language.
You know, if they're dazing off and they're just yessing you to death and like, yep, yep,
yep.
And you know, they're just looking into the distance and not looking at you.
They're not interested in what you're saying.
Some people don't have the character to just say, I don't want to hear this.
So they just yes you to death and you have to know when, okay, this person, are you interested
in what I'm saying?
And know when sometimes you just have to just cut it loose and go find someone who's interested.
You know, if somebody is squinting their eyes and they start, you know, they cross their
arms or something, you know, that should indicate to you that maybe they don't like what they've
heard and you should go back and just see, you know, what it is that they have a problem
with from the scripture.
If someone's feet are just pointed, you know, you're trying to preach in the gospel and
their feet are pointed away from you.
That's a sign that they want to leave and that they're not interested.
When someone's feet are pointed away from you, that means that they want to get out
of there and that they're not interested in you.
And you know, if they're turning like this and their feet are turned away, that means
they're not interested.
So we need to be aware of people's body language and our body language out.
Soul winning, it's important.
We communicate with our bodies.
And you know, when you're also one last point, this is already a 15 minute video.
Thanks for bearing with me this long, but you know, I think that you should, when you're
preaching the gospel, you know, I think your body should sing with you a little bit.
You should be a little enthusiastic about what you're saying.
Don't just be a robot, you know, and some people, some people talk with their hands
a lot, like Italians and people from, you know, people in my family, they tend to do
that.
They talk with their hands a lot.
They talk with my hands, but don't just be a stiff robot, you know, look like somebody
who believes what they're saying and are comfortable with what they're saying.
Be comfortable with the person that you're talking to because people tend to mirror your
mood and your body language themselves.
And so if you're relaxed and have good body language, then you know, you'll, you'll tend
to put them in the same kind of mind frame.
All right guys, have a good night.
God bless you.