go ahead and take your hymnals. We're gonna turn to page number 159. That's page number 159.
"Blessed be the name." Page number 159. "Blessed be the name." Sing it out on the first.
"All praise to him who reigns above in majesty supreme that he must be the name be blessed be
the name to be the name to be to be be the name to be."
Singing everybody. Brother Ryan, would you please help us up with a word of prayer?
Today and thank you for our church. We pray, God, that you will be with brother Paul and
your family through some time right now. We pray, God, that you will hear them up. Amen.
We love you in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. All right, if you want to go ahead and take
your hymnals, we're going to turn to page number 261. Page number 261 on Jesus.
August 31st. Welcome to Scher Foundation Baptist Church. Verse of the week is Proverbs 16 3. It
says, "Commit thy work unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established." So, of course,
our service times are Sunday morning at 10 30 a.m., Sunday evening at 3 30 p.m., and then we
have our Wednesday evening Bible study is at 6 30 p.m. Our soul-wanting times are Sunday afternoon
at 1 p.m., and then Saturday morning at 10 30 p.m., or a.m., actually. If you're soul-wanting at 10 30
p.m., you've got a problem. You're going to get a lot of mad people at you, so don't be doing that.
All right, so our praise report, salvations for July were 7, salvations for August have been 12,
so praise God for that. Salvation year-to-date have been 71. Let's see here, we have baptisms
and attendances there at the bottom. And we have our upcoming events, so tonight is going to be our
men's preaching night, so although if Paul's not here, obviously we're going to have to postpone
because he's not getting out of it. Anyway, so yeah, so tonight is going to be our men's preaching
night, and I believe Brother Remy is going to give us like the whole order of services, all the rules,
regulations, he's got a big old book you're gonna have to go over, called the Bible, okay, but yeah,
so, but like, you know, whether or not we're gonna read, you know, what you can read, have our chapter
read, no chapters read, Remy's gonna go over all that for us, so that's gonna be his men's preaching
night sermon is all the rules, so, but anyways, okay, so, and that's tonight, so September 19th,
Pastor Thompson's gonna be preaching on Friday night, so definitely be here for that. September
20th is gonna be the church trip to Silverwood. I found out when that was gonna be, that's,
I'm, yes, September 20th, so RSVP for that with Brother Remy, and we'll definitely be looking
forward to that. We have, I think we've been doing that for like three or four years now, so it's
been, oh, okay, yeah, if you tell Remy, basically, you're not going, is what's, yeah, so, but yeah,
so anyways, September 21st, Brother David Akers is preaching both services. Where is he from?
He's from Idaho. Okay, all right, yeah, I think I've met him a few years ago, so I just wanted
to make sure it was the same guy, so nice, cool. All right, so, very nice, and then we have more
kid memory verses, so the verse for... Now, are these two-week increments or one-week increments
for the verses? One week? One week, all right. So, let's see here. If your child can recite
John 316 to Miss Kylie, they will receive candy. Now, I don't know what the statute of limitation
is on childness for candy. So, is it like 18, 32? You know, I don't know. Oh, okay. All right.
Well, okay. So, if you have a little kid, if your kid is less than 10 years old, then,
you know, I just made the rule then, I suppose. I'll be receiving a reprimand later for
supering authority. But let's see here. Yeah, so they receive a piece of candy. Let's see here. We
also have our prayer requests that we have here on the bulletin. And if you have any prayer requests,
go ahead and let Brother Remy attend. And we have Money Matters as well. And if you want to take your
little handouts. Now, there's a limited amount of handouts, unfortunately. And so I don't think
everybody actually got one. However, if you do open your Bible to Psalm 119, and you look at verse
number six, that's where the psalm is, in the Bible. And it's actually kind of difficult to
follow along in the Bible. I was doing that yesterday. It's difficult, but it's not impossible.
But if you are so blessed to have a sheet of paper, you can just use the sheet of paper.
So, we're going to do Psalm number 119. Psalm number 119, starting in verse 106.
"And I fill with your Holy Spirit, how it functioned to the field, so it's heard as well."
Just going to pray?
Proverbs chapter 5, if you could go ahead and turn to Proverbs chapter 5.
Proverbs chapter 5. And here at Sure Foundation Baptist Church,
we read the entire chapter before the preaching.
Proverbs chapter 5, the Bible reads,
"My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding,
that thou mayest regard discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge;
for the lips of a strange woman drop as in honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil;
but her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword; her feet go down to death,
her steps take hold on hell; lest thou shouldest ponder the path of life, her ways are movable,
that thou canst not know them. Hear me now therefore, O ye children, and depart not from
the words of my mouth; remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house;
lest thou give thine honor unto others, and thy years unto the cruel; lest strangers be filled
with thy wealth, and thy labors be in the house of a stranger; and thou mourn at the last,
when thy flesh and thy body are consumed; and say, How have I hated instruction,
and my heart despised reproof, and have not obeyed the voice of my teachers,
nor inclined mine ear to them that instructed me? I was almost in all evil in the midst of the
congregation and assembly. Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine
own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be
only thine own, and not strangers with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife
of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant row. Let her breast satisfy thee at all
times, and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a
strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? For the ways of man are before the eyes of the
Lord, and he bondareth all his goings. His own iniquities shall take the wicked himself, and he
shall beholden with the cords of his sins. He shall die without instruction, and in the greatness of
his folly he shall go astray. Brother Daniel, could you please pray for the preaching?
Amen. You guys are here in Proverbs 5. We're going to look in at verse number 15, where the Bible
says, "Drink waters out of thine own, sister, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy
fountains be dispersed abroad in rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and
not strangers with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth."
The title of my sermon this morning is "Seven Great Years." Let's pray. Dear Father God,
thank you so much for this wonderful day. Thank you so much for everything you do for us, God.
Thank you so much for this church, God, and thank you so much for the ability to preach. I just
pray you help me deliver well the message you put on my heart, God, and you help me to
preach a sermon that would be helpful for everybody and that would be Spirit-filled,
God, and I just pray that everybody would walk away with something to take home from this
sermon. Do you still pray? Amen. Tell them my sermon, like I said again, is seven great years.
I'm pressing this button, brother Ryan, so I think it's just dead. Okay, that's fine. Okay.
Okay. I don't know what's up with that, but okay. Anyways, Proverbs 5 verse number 18 is kind of
the more focused that I'm going to do for this sermon. I just want to give you a little bit of
the context. But the reason that the sermon is titled seven great years is because this morning
I'm going to be preaching about marriage and the subject is not random. It's because tomorrow is
actually the anniversary of kind of our seventh year anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. Brother
Jason didn't sing to us, so he is fired big time from filling in for brother Paul. No, just kidding.
But yeah, we're going to be on our seventh year of marriage as long as nothing crazy happens in
these like, what, like 12 hours to midnight or whatever we got. Don't want to, you know, count the
chickens for the eggs hatch. But, um, it's kind of crazy for me to even say that with this,
with that we've been married for seven years though, just because it's cliche to say, but it
really does feel like it was just yesterday when we got married. Like it feels like just yesterday
when we were at the altar, we went in for a kiss and we clinked teeth at the altar because I'd
never kissed anybody before. No idea that you had to know how to kiss someone. So it was just, uh,
a time to be alive. But it was very interesting. I was just reminiscing kind of, uh,
as I was writing this sermon and me and Kylie were both talking about like, it's just been a
great seven years. It's been a really great, happy seven years of our lives. And we've obviously,
we mean, we were super close and we got married and we've just stayed close for the whole seven
years. And we've never really had like what people will say where they talk about like people having
like a low year or like a really terrible year. Like I only bring that up because something that
I find funny is that people will say when it comes to this they'll be like oh yeah with marriage
the first year that's the worst year. And then they'll be like oh no no no it's not the it's
not the first year it's the second year that's the worst year. And they'll be like no no it's
the fifth year or oh no no it's the seventh year that's actually the worst. I've heard seven I've
heard all those numbers before. Really like it's actually the tenth year the sixth month and the
third week and I'm like that one's a little too specific okay and that might be speaking from
experience a little bit. But uh basically when it comes to like our marriage we haven't really had
anything crazy like that. And that all just comes from the fact about following the Bible's principles
on marriage. Like I just think it's truly amazing that the Bible gives you everything that you need
to have a successful marriage. And I would guarantee everybody in this room if you take
the principles from the Bible and apply them to your marriage you will have a happy marriage.
And that's not to say that you don't have little ups and downs okay everybody has that everybody
fights once in a while but if you take the Bible's principles on marriage and apply them to your life
you will have a happy marriage. And so I would just give you some advice before I get into this
sermon proper because it's gonna be about married couples obviously. But if you're a person that's
single, hear what I'm saying right now okay, and you're still eligible for marriage. If you're a
single person here and you can still get married you obviously need to pick someone that's saved
if you're saved. They need to believe that salvation is by faith alone. That's just a given.
But outside of that listen what I'm saying, pick someone that's going to be your best friend for
marriage. Pick someone that you don't just lust after but that you love actually. That you love
for what's on the inside and the outside is just a cherry on top. That's just obviously you should
be attracted to your spouse but I'm saying some people like judge like their their spouse's looks
as like the most important thing but that's not what the bible teaches. The bible says that favor
is deceitful and beauty's vain right but a woman that fears the lord that's the one who's going to
be praised and that's what you should be looking for in a wife and someone that not only is saved
and that fears the lord and is zealous but also that will be your friend because looks fade away
and there's any moments in your life where um you know you need more than just an attraction to your
spouse to get you through you should be best friends with your spouse that would be my
recommended recommendation to you find someone that you get along with even outside of the
the lines of just being attracted to them and again i said you should be attracted attracted
to your spouse but so many people just like that's like the only thing that they think about they're
just like she's really really pretty it's like okay but once you're not getting along anymore
all that beauty is going to fade right from your eyes okay proverbs 15 or excuse me proverbs 5
verse number 18 i'll read that again it says let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife
of thy youth and there's a couple things i want to bring up about this verse by way of introduction
number one is this is that the bible says with this verse that it's you're supposed to rejoice
with the wife of thy youth and i only point out to say that there's nothing wrong with getting
married young when i first got married or excuse me when i first got hired on in my job at the
city of portland when i was 18 years old a young buck so that's like 18 that's like nine years ago
now which is kind of crazy to say as well but when i first got there like everybody pulled me to the
side was like listen up remmy this is what we're going to advise you this is what we're going to
counsel you do not date a girl and do not marry a girl until you're like at least in your way
late 20s they're like just stay away from women right now just you know focus on building your
resources in your career and then you should focus on getting married and i always just laugh at
them when they tell me this because they'd be like you need to have like a six-figure job
minimum to survive in marriage if you're going to have your wife be a stay-at-home mom it's like
uh no you don't people are warped on the numbers of what it takes to actually have your wife stay
at home i do not make six figures up here i'm not mr big bucks up here and my wife still stays home
and watches the kids at home it doesn't take a millionaire to do that people when people say
that they're saying that if you want to have your wife stay at home and you want to go on all these
luxurious vacations then you need to be making six figures okay but that's that's not what we're
about okay as christians where i feel like being married and having children is much more important
than just going on little dumb vacations every once in a while but they'd advise me like don't
get married until you're at least in your 20s like late 20s and they'd say and definitely don't
start having kids until you're 30 minimum is what they'd say and it's like this is just the wisdom
of the world though because what do we see from the wisdom of god what did solomon say in this
verse he said rejoice rejoice with the wife of thy youth not when you're 30 okay obviously
30 is not like you're an old man but when you're talking about like someone being in their youth
you're thinking of like a 20 year old right and marriage is what we're thinking about but this
shouldn't be a bear because they kind of disguise this under the guise of being like oh well you
know you just want to prepare yourself for marriage though let me just let you in on a secret nothing
prepares you for marriage and nothing helps you to have a better marriage but by just having raw
marriage experience itself you can read all these books you can stack your resources and have a nice
house and all these things at the end of the day though that's really not going to help you as much
as just actually getting married and working through and figuring out how to live with your
spouse according to knowledge all these other things like obviously i'm not saying that you
can't prepare yourself for marriage you should and i'm not saying that everyone that's 18 needs
to get married on the spot or anything like that i'm just saying that there's nothing wrong according
to the bible with getting married young if you find the right person and if your life allows you
to you should get married and again obviously that doesn't that doesn't mean you don't have to get
married young like i should say this just to kind of balance that find someone that is the right
person to marry though period at the end of the day if you have to wait until you're 40 years old
to find the right person that is what you should do don't just get married just for getting married
sake but i am saying that if you find them earlier than that don't allow yourself to be fooled by
the wisdom of this world to tell you that you need to get like a six-figure job before you can take
care of your wife it's nonsense not true number two by way of introduction i would say this is
that the bible says the wife of thy youth not a wife in her youth i'm only bringing this up
because people try to push this narrative that back in the day it was just completely normal
this was the average marriage that some like 40-year-old dude was getting married to some
12-year-old girl i will never believe that's true that is fake news that is garbage you're
not going to tell me that the average marriage was bordering on pedophilia nonsense okay like
like even my proof for that is this is that by salman telling us because he's speaking like
generally right here to rejoice in the wife of thy youth he's implying that the average marriage
obviously is happening with a male in his youth to a woman that's in her youth as well that's what
he's implying from these verses so and i'm not saying that age gaps are sinful i'm not even going
to get into that in the topic of this sermon first corinthians lays out the the principles on
what it takes and what the qualifications are to get married to someone but this is what i am saying
you will never convince me that some 30 year old dude marrying a 13 year old was just the standard
it's garbage i don't believe that men have always liked women throughout all of history
normal men have always liked women through all of history is what i'll say okay
but the reason i gotta bring this up as well is that this is something that muslims will say to
us when we say muhammad consummated a marriage with a nine-year-old girl when he was 53 years
old a nine-year-old girl when he was 53 years old and they'll just say oh that was just normal at
the time uh no it was not just normal at the time it was never just normal for people to be
pedophiles inside society that's garbage doesn't make any sense that's not what the bible teaches
as well paul says in corinthians again i'm not gonna get into this too much but he says that
someone should be at the flower of their age which the picture he's drawing there is this is that the
flower should be done blooming the flower should be done growing is what he's basically saying
in that verse and so you'll never convince me that muhammad and i'll try to compare her uh
muhammad with like mary because i'll say mary got married when she was 13 years old uh no she didn't
that's not what the bible says the bible doesn't actually say how old mary was when she got married
but they just want to make it out to be like pedophile-esque marriages or just very close to
that was just normal back in the day and i will never believe that i also would submit to you this
because the bible says who can find a virtuous woman not a virtuous child not a virtuous teen
he says who can find a virtuous woman and when you even just look at the things in proverbs 31
about the virtuous woman there's no way a nine-year-old is doing all the things on that
list there's no way a 13-year-old is doing all the things on that list i'll tell you who is
doing the things on that list though a woman according to the bible not a little child also
when you look at like these greek statues which don't even do this if you haven't looked at them
okay i'm just saying if you've been corrupted by public school when you have them make or the roman
statues the sculptures they're making when they're making the goddess of beauty according to romans
or according to greeks are they making them a little child no they're not you know what they're
making them a woman as well that should tell you that throughout time it was normal to for men to
be attracted to women not little girls that has nothing to do with my sermon uh but uh i was just
when i was looking this up i was like this is nonsense like people like trying to say this
stuff is weird what is the point of this sermon though the point of the sermon is to share with
you some helpful things from my own marriage that i think will be helpful in your guy's marriage as
well and some things that have helped us to have a happy seven years because i can honestly look
at my marriage and say i have rejoiced in these seven years that we've had so i want to give you
what we have followed uh to help us to do that because everything that we've been following has
been from the bible that's why we would have a successful marriage in the first place point
number one of this sermon is this what we've kind of implemented in our life is that you should
focus on what you can do for your spouse not what your spouse can do for you what i mean by that
is this and as i'm explaining this you guys can go to romans 12 verse number 10 romans 12 verse
number 10 you shouldn't wake up in the morning and think man i really hope my wife does this this this
is not for me or as a woman you shouldn't wake up and say i really hope my husband does this this
this not for me what you should do is wake up and say what can i do to make my wife happy today or
what can i do to make my husband happy today that should be your focus on it as a christian because
here's the reality you can't control what other people do to an extent right like we have free
will you can operate as you will not talk about unsent fully or whatever but i'm just saying like
you can't just like actually take control someone's body and like make work them like a robot or a
puppet right we all understand this but i will tell you this that if you wake up and apply this
to your life and think about the good things that you can do for your spouse and not just focus on
what they're not doing for you or what they are doing for you then they will be a lot like more
likely to reciprocate that back to you that's how you're going to kind of get your spouse to
to kind of do good to you as well and kind of if you think about this if you both are doing this
if you wake up as a husband say what can i do to make my wife happy today and as a wife you wake
up and say what can i do to make my husband happy today guess who ends up happy at the end of that
both of you do because you're both striving and fighting for who's going to be happy
that's a good problem to have you're like i'm going to make sure that kylie is blessed way more
than she's blessing me and she's like no no no i'm going to bless you way more it's a good problem
to have in a marriage you guys are going to roman's 12 verse number 10 here's what someone will
incorrectly do with this sermon with this point i should say as they'll say yep remy you're hitting
it right on that right there park it there preacher my wife needs to hear this or a wife will be like
remy they're not going to speak they're going to wave their hand like the hanky wave right
you're like park it there my husband needs to hear this if you're the person saying that though i want
to understand you're the person i'm talking about not them okay get this into your head and let
this sing into your ears my voice if it's coming to yours right now that i'm saying that you
personally should wake up and say what can i do to help my spouse and make them happy because
that's what you can control in your life you can dictate your actions and again i'm saying to you
that if you wake up with an attitude and you and you show a lot of effort into making your spouse
happy they will naturally reciprocate that back to you so wake up and don't like don't be like oh
my husband needs to hear this sermon no you need to hear this something like you know there's
all the time with a bunch of different stuff like you're preaching on empathy and it'll be like the
most apathetic person that there is in this world and they'll be like yeah brother so and so needs
to hear this it's like no you need to hear this point okay you need to hear and that's just like
a side note as well but it's really true that you should not be going into sermons and being like
oh this brother needs to hear this like hey worry about your own life when i'm preaching these
things don't worry and don't think about other people think am i doing this in my own life
that's what preaching is for not for you to hope that someone else gets the message
wouldn't god we'd all just take the message personally and apply it all to our lives individually
so what i'm saying is this wake up and think what you can do for your spouse not what they can do
for you as a husband what can make my wife happy as a wife what can make my husband happy and if
you both do this you both end up happy in the end we see this idea in romans 12 10 it says be
kindly affectionate uh affection one toward another with brotherly love in honor preferring
one another now obviously the primary context isn't marriage there because it's talking about
brotherly love but you can kind of see from this principle that he's saying preferring one another
what he's saying is that if i prefer you and you prefer me everyone gets preferred at the end of
the day the same thing also rings true with when he says to bear ye one another's burdens if i bear
your burdens and you bear mine if we work together collectively to bear everyone's burdens
then everyone has these things lifted off of their shoulders so you can see how this would apply the
same way that if a husband is focused on making his wife happy and a wife is making a focus on
making her husband happy they're both going to end up happy at the end of the day what does this look
like practically though as a husband coming home and you know spending time with your wife helping
her with the kids changing the diapers watching the kids first so that she has some free time
listen to her you know talk about her day all these things because if you do these things then
you will just naturally realize that your wife is more inclined to make you happy as well same
thing with a with a wife if you allow your husband to chill out after work or you don't nag him right
when he comes to the door you don't throw all the crying kids on him right when he gets in the door
if you're positive pleasant to be around like you meet his physical needs you're going to find that
he's more likely to do the things on your list as well that's how these things work it's like
you know this is what most people do though instead they'll say oh i noticed that you know
my spouse didn't do this and that this is what i wanted them to do so you know what i'm going to
do i'm going to stop doing good things for them but when you do that you just create like a toxic
cycle of everyone doing each other wrong in a marriage okay you need to be the bigger person
in marriage go if you would to romans 15 verse number three romans 15 verse number three people
like i'm gonna teach him a lesson it's like you should just realize marriage is not a game this
is not tit for tat and you shouldn't be keeping score in your marriage and games and like football
and basketball you do keep score because it is that it's a game right marriage is not a game
though so you should not be keeping score of things i can't tell you right now at this point
in my life if i've done more good things for kylie or if kylie's done more good things for me
because we're just not keeping score that's not the focus the focus is just doing this from this
day forward every day i'm gonna wake up and try to do as many good things for my wife as possible
and she's gonna wake up and do likewise that would be the sign for having a successful marriage and
would do you well if you implement that into your life but people do this with their marriage they
just go tit for tat and it's like it kind of blows me away with how many fantastic principles we have
in the bible how like this is never like not i shouldn't say never that this is like a huge
problem in marriages like we see like the most foundation foundational teachings in the bible
like turn in the other cheek suffering yourself to be defrauded do unto others as you have them
to do unto you you know overcoming evil with good and and christians will hear that behind
the pulpit be like amen that's 100 true and all those things are true obviously because they're
from the bible but then you have Christians not adopting those same principles into their marriage
just i would just submit to you this if turn the other cheek applies to a stranger
if suffering yourself to be defrauded applies to a stranger if doing unto others as you'd have them
do unto you applies to a stranger how much more does it apply to your own spouse at home to your
beloved in your own household like you people live their life though where like christianity
and their marriage are like separate things but no your christ your marriage should be founded
on christian principles through and through the bible is for every area of your life not just
like sectioned off and so again i said don't keep score here's another thing you can do with your
spouse as well is that instead of throwing a tantrum instead of giving them the silent treatment
here's what's a lot more effective is just talking to them about whatever issue or problem you have
going on so many people do this so like that's why i say like it's marriage is not a game because
people act like it's a game they advocate like they're children they're grown children they're
like well he didn't do this for me so i'm just going to ignore him all day or she didn't do this
so i'm just going to ignore her all day like a child is what you're doing like a literal child
that's what children do that's not what adults should be doing and a healthy marriage when you
have a disagreement when you have a problem if they don't notice it then what you should do as an
adult is go and talk to your spouse tell them the issue you're not married to professor x they're
not going to read your mind they're not going to tell you like they just can't like look at you
and be like oh this is what's going on it's like you need to communicate with your mouth to your
spouse that's what guys want anyway then i'm sure both spouses do this but it's like maybe women are
more uh slanted towards doing this where it's just like we cannot men cannot read your mind okay
even when you're married they cannot read your mind so tell them the issues that you have
and if your husband's a mature adult as well he'll take the issues that you're telling him
and hopefully you know find a way that you guys can work that out uh in your marriage um but a
lot of times spouses just won't talk to their their their significant other about the issues
that they have and i understand why this is sometimes to a degree for a couple reasons like
people be like get frustrated and they'll be like oh why do i even have to point this out to my
spouse like they should just know what's wrong and here's the thing that is true i'm because i don't
want to conflict myself obviously but there is some degree of that where that's true but that's
i'm going to talk about that a little bit later on but i do just want you to realize that being a
mature person in general is just this if your spouse doesn't realize the wrong that they're
doing you you should go and talk to them about it okay that's the only way it's going to get
fixed or you could just stay bitter and mad about it and it'll never get fixed and then
nobody wins in that situation and i say have a polite conversation because this is not good
for you either blowing up in the heat of the moment and and like dumping out all of your
grievances out at one time in one fight is not good for anybody either like don't let things
build up like that you shouldn't just be holding things in like that like if you have an issue
with your spouse about something and it's something that you can't just suffer yourself to be fired
on like it's really messing with you go and bring up that one individual thing or maybe like a
handful of things but just freaking out being like well you always well you never it's not going to
do any anybody any good in that situation um you guys are there in roman's 15 verse number uh three
um is i'd also balance that with kind of just saying this is that when your spouse does make
something known to you in marriage you should take it seriously if it's like a real genuine
serious concern obviously you can kind of discern that but like i've seen people on both ends of
the spectrum where they just like dismiss everything that their spouse said they're like it's not that
big of a deal and to be fair sometimes it might not be a big deal but a lot of not very big deals
eventually big up to be or build up to be a huge deal in the end so just you should walk
circumspectly with that and be kind of wise about how you do uh work in that regard roman's 15
verse 3 it says this it says for even christ please not himself but as it is written the reproaches
of them that reproach thee fell on me so every every day that jesus christ woke up on this earth
he didn't think about what he could do to make himself happy he woke up and thought how can he
help the people that are around him and he's telling us here that we should be christ-like
and adopt this same attitude into our marriage for sure but to every area of life and if you're a
single just take this to heart if you want to take something applicable from this you should be
implementing this same exact attitude in every area of your life as well don't just be a selfish
person nobody likes people that are selfish think you gotta have this thing called empathy think
about how other people feel and how they would feel if you were in their shoes and then adjust
your actions accordingly okay that's that's something you can take from that don't be a
selfish person nobody likes a selfish person in any area of life but when i'm bringing up
jesus christ here because i'm kind of tying this to marriage as well this does directly correlate
because if you think about it jesus christ says we're supposed to uh excuse me jesus christ commands
us he says that we're supposed to love our wives how so as christ loved the church so we should be
christ-like in our marriage that's what he's commanding us here both spouses should be christ-like
on both sides of a marriage um first point of the sermon then is you know as a spouse something
that has helped us in our marriage is not waking up and thinking what my spouse can do for me i wake
up and think what can i do to make my spouse happy and that's something if you implement in
your life i promise you it'll help you a lot in your marriage number two is this is that you should
know your spouse first peter three seven it says this it says likewise he husbands and you can go
there real quick i didn't have you turn there first peter three verse number seven three verse number
seven the bible says this it says likewise he husbands dwell them according to knowledge giving
honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life that
your prayers be not hindered so here in first peter he is commanding us to dwell with our wives
according to knowledge obviously i think this applies to both spouses though i don't think he
has to lay it out that this is also talking about women's or women women's what is that
women dwelling with knowledge with their husbands as well okay i don't know how that happened but
whatever the women's in this church okay um this verse though when you kind of think about it in
theory what it's saying is that that as a if you think about it that as a marriage goes on longer
theoretically it should be getting better because the longer you go on in a marriage the more
knowledge that you're getting of your spouse and the more knowledge that you get from your spouse
the easier it should be for you to deal with your spouse and to know what ticks them off what doesn't
take them off what you know makes them happy what doesn't make them happy that should be that like
the more time you spend with your spouse you should be learning these things in a marriage and that
should help you to have an easier time and that's not to say that every single marriage just is
always on like an upward trajectory like you know it might more it's not going to be like a straight
line it's probably going to be more like the stock market okay it's going to be like that
okay um you're getting a lesson on the stocks and on marriage who would have thought but like you
know marriage is not always it's not always going to be this straight line upward there's going to
be highs and lows that people do have in their marriages so you should just be aware of that
but the more time that you spend with your spouse the more knowledge you should get from them
and how they operate and the more that you get that the better off you should be in your marriage
because i would say that that's kind of a problem at first in marriage when you're learning your
spouse you don't know everything about them so it's kind of you that's part of the first year
of marriage is you're learning to live with a whole new person so in theory but this this is
the thing though is that just just like coming to church doesn't equal you automatically getting
bible knowledge just being married to someone doesn't automatically equal that you're going
to learn your spouse because with all these things you have to put in an effort to learn
and gain knowledge in those areas. For church you have to put in an effort to listen to a servant
to apply it to your life and for a marriage you have to be able to put in the effort to notice
things about your wife or notice things about your spouse and then apply those things your life as
well and learn how to kind of operate within those bounds. I bring this up though because some people
can't just seem like they can't be bothered to learn anything about their spouse like or that
like they just find their spouse to be just some giant mystery. I hear this all the time I'm sure
you guys do like men will be like women are just such a mystery mysterious creature strange we
don't know anything about their comings and goings it's like the same thing with men or
yeah with men with women they'll be like yeah men like we just we have no idea what's going on here
it's like a huge mystery my spouse huge mystery here's the thing though when you're first dating
someone it kind of makes sense that they're a mystery because men and women are just different
now that i've been married to my wife for seven years now my wife is not some huge mystery i
understand her pretty well i understand who she is how she'll react what she needs what you know
gets her going through the day i understand all these things very well because i know her and i'm
dwelling with my wife according to knowledge is what the bible saying right here so if you're like
kylie is not like it's not like this area 51 the remuda triangle kylie these things are just the
same or like the trinity like like oh it's just some great mystery it's like no i know her pretty
well now it's like this it's it's not like it's rocket science okay i know what makes her happy i
know it grinds her gears she knows what makes me happy and she knows what grinds my gears
i know what makes her stressed i know when she needs a break and she likewise knows the same
things for me and there's just so many situations in life that i can just almost like precisely
predict how kylie would react in different situations or how she's going to feel about
a decision i'm going to make or anything like that it's like we know each other you know them well
but so if someone was just telling you or if you think this like you're my wife my husband is such
a mystery there's a disconnect there there's something that's going wrong because they should
someone that you're living with should not be a mystery and the actions and their emotions should
not just be like some huge like just surprise to you all the time you shouldn't know your spouse
and dwell with them according to knowledge and if you don't like if you again if you think it's
such some kind of mystery i would submit to you a couple things number one you might just not
pay attention to your spouse because i use that example with church but it's the same thing with
someone at a job i'm sure we've all had a co-worker before that's been in a place
for like five years and has no clue how the job works can someone attest to this fact okay
you're like how have you been here for five years when every single day seems like a new day to you
you know how they end up like that though it's because they don't pay attention it's the same
thing i would submit to you if your wife is a mystery oh what what is she doing what is she
thinking emotions what are these things i just think that you just not paying attention you're
not actually caring about your wife's feelings and her reactions the same thing goes for your
husband you're just not paying attention to him so this is what i'd submit to you just practically
pay attention to your spouse make quality time for your spouse make cut out chunks out of your
day and of your busy schedule to learn your spouse and to know them they should not just be a mystery
to you because if they're a mystery how are you going to dwell with them according to knowledge
you understand what i'm saying same thing with this or this would be the the the second thing
i'd submit to you if you just find your spouse to be just some giant mystery is that you're lying
because here's something people also do at work you've probably ran into this as well
there'll be a person there that's been there for 10 years and they're just like i don't know how
to do this but then like in private you'll talk to them they have a huge knowledge of how the job
works you're like what is going on there why are they doing that it's called weaponized incompetence
is what it is they're acting like they don't know what's going on so that they don't have to deal
with the problems at work people do this all the time i can think of multiple co-workers in my life
that are coming to my name or coming to my head right now their names are and i'm like oh yeah this
was him it's like they pretend like i have no idea what's going on the job site when i knew
that they knew dang well what was going on they do it because they're lazy they do it because they
don't want to address the problems and they're too stressed out or too whatever okay but when
you're applying this in marriage as well i would just say a lot of men they pretend that they don't
know their wife they pretend that they don't know what makes them happy or what makes them sad
because that's easier for them than to deal with the actual problems that they're presented with
because again like this is how men will be sometimes they'll just be like oh yeah like
i don't understand why my wife is so mad at me like all i do is you know leave her to hang
hang her out the drive with the kids i spend all my free time alone i ignore everything she says
and i never consider her feelings i mean why would she be so mad at me like do you actually
not know are you just stupid like what's going on here like are you stupid or are you pretending
to be stupid i'll give you a practical example of this and i'm not talking about in this room
i'm talking about just in my life that i've seen this there'll be like a woman like drowning with
her kids like she's trying to feed the kid the little baby and has all the kids in her in her
little uh in her little bubble right there and you can just look at her and be like this girl's
drowning she's frustrated she's stressed out she's overstimulated and then you go look and then the
husband's just in lala land without a care in the world and i'm just like looking at that and i'm
like does he not see that or does he actually just not care to see what's going on in that situation
you understand what i'm saying because there's a difference between just being like i have no idea
what's going on with my wife and then looking at your wife struggling and being like i could
go help out but then i'd actually have to do work you know what i mean so i could help out with the
kids but then that's tough for me too why would i want to do that oh because you're supposed to
love christ or love your wife like christ love the church that's why because you're supposed to honor
your wife as giving honor to the weaker vessel supposed to uh uh cherish your wife and nourish
her like you'd nourish your own body that's why so i think a lot of people just lie and same thing
with women with their husbands they do the same thing like they're like i don't know why my
husband's mad at me like do you really not know though or are you just like playing games where
are we out here where's where's the last verse i had you guys at first peter take go to proverbs
12 verse 18 proverbs 12 verse number 18 again you should just have empathy for your spouse and be
like this is what empathy is if you don't know what this is it's the ability to understand and
share feelings the feelings of another person so that's doing this looking at someone else's
situation putting yourself in their shoes and thinking how would i feel if this was me this
is a great principle that you can do as a husband with your wife just think about i do this all the
time with kylie i'm like when she's calling me on the phone she's like the kids all of them are
throwing up they're all touching me out winter was up all last night i got no sleep i'm just
she's like frazzled out of her mind and i'm like thinking to myself i'm not just like oh
sucks for her i got the good end of the stick today right it's like i think of myself okay well
then if that was me if i was getting touched out by the kids if i had no sleep all night if
this was if i was in her exact same situation how would i want to be treated and then i treat her
accordingly that's empathy okay same thing with a wife to her husband you think yourself man my
husband's been at work all day out in the sun or he's staring at a computer screen all day or
you know whatever job that's applicable you're there for eight hours nine hours 10 hours 12
hours depending on what job you're doing he's been dealing with a bunch of unrighteous
ungodly men all day hasn't had anything for a break except for like a 30 minute period
put yourself in his shoes and think if that was you how would you want to be treated when
you came home from work and if you both are doing this again guess what ends up happening
everyone ends up benefiting in the end from it having empathy having love for each other
having an understanding for each other beneficial for everybody uh you guys are there in proverbs
12 verse number 18 again this is because why did i bring this all up because i'm talking about
dwelling with knowledge because that should be a knowledge that you get after a while in marriage
is learning to show empathy to your spouse and learning uh how to because if you i didn't really
explain this but it would be applicable as well that like if you realize in my analogy that i'm
showing not everything could be true all at once like you can't as a husband go take a break and
get your own like free time and also watch all the kids for your wife like these are not happening
on the same day but again for marriage you just realize things are just give and take and that
should like you should just you should be able to look at your spouse and realize when they're
going through a tough time when they're struggling and raise up accordingly and rise of the occasion
like sometimes you're given like you know 50 percent but then sometimes your spouse is having
such a bad day you give it all 100 for them and you might be sacrificing yourself and your needs
and your desires that day but in the long run it's going to come back to you because then if she's
reciprocating that back you're going to have a bad day too and she's going to show you the same kind
of affection. Proverbs 12 verse number 18 is where you guys are the second one I want to kind of apply
like dwelling the knowledge I got this timer going to 38 minutes you guys ain't getting nowhere yet
okay Proverbs 12 verse number 18 it says there is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword but
the tongue of the wise is health second thing I want to apply it dwelling with knowledge according
to knowledge with your spouse is that you just realize that in marriage there's some things that
you can say that you can never take back so you should be very careful with what you say to your
spouse and we have this idea that like words are just meaningless that as long as not violent it's
just all good that's not what the bible is teaching and this is a bad teaching we've got from our
childhood we're like sticks and stones may break my bones but words may never hurt me
heretical heresy okay all these kids are spreading heresy on the playground no but in reality though
what the bible is saying right here is that there is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword
your words can hurt people most literally like first of all it can have an emotional and a
psychological effect on people at the very least people get bullied into committing suicide all the
time your words do hurt people this idea that you can just be as mean and as cruel and as
vile as you want as long as it's just words is not biblical that's not what the bible is teaching
here it says that your there's words that pierce like a sword and i would submit to you that there's
some things that someone could say to you to hurt you with their words far worse than they could
ever actually physically hurt you in your life especially when you're talking about your spouse
the person that you're going to be most vulnerable with so you just realize that there's some things
that once you once you say them to your spouse there is no taking them back and if knowledge would
tell you this if that's true and you're going to stay with your wife tell death do you part
because that's what the bible says then you should be careful with what you say because how those
years are going to go and tell death do us part depends on how you treat your spouse right so be
careful with what you say to your spouse because it's just like it's very similar to like a real
sword in real life if you swing a sword on someone the damage that you cause to them you cannot take
that back after you've already chopped them with a sword right it's the same thing with words they
might because you're not the thing is we don't see the damage that word hat words have on people
but the words that you say to your spouse it'll cut them deep and they might heal from that but
there's always going to be a scar there there's always going to be a insecurity or some kind of
thing that they think about because you wanted to just win an argument and that's what it is a lot
of times people just like in the heat of the moment they're not thinking circumspectly they're
not thinking wisely they're thinking how can i beat my spouse in this argument like children
again that's what children do they just want to they don't care about anything else they just want
to win that one moment stupid that's not dwelling with your spouse according to knowledge have enough
wisdom have enough smarts to realize that what you say to your spouse you can't take back after
you say it and the wounds that you create with your words to your spouse can be wounds that last
all the way and obviously you should forgive your spouse when they say sorry but there's just some
things that you just can't take back you know what i mean like there's some things that if my wife
said to me even if i do forgive her it's always going to be in the back of my mind or vice versa
so be careful with how you treat people that goes again for if you're single that goes with every
area of life multiple times in my life i've said dumb things and then thought to myself i wish i
didn't say that i feel like an idiot now and once you say you can't take it back it's just like
that's your own consequence i guess you feel dumb afterwards okay but part of being a christian is
growing and learning from experiences yeah so better than even just growing from the experience
just don't do it in the first place so we're talking about the sense of knowledge because
we're talking about dwelling according to knowledge we're talking about knowing what makes your spouse
happy and doing it having empathy with your spouse obviously knowing that your words can hurt your
spouse number three is that you should dwell with your spouse according to knowledge in the same way
that adam new eve go to genesis four one just for one if i could give you a graph of the times i've
spoke on the physical relationship that you should have with your spouse and tell you how many times
i preach on it in my whole preaching career it's been two times it's been wednesday and it's been
today okay so that's kind of funny how that works out but i kind of feel like i'd be amiss not to
bring this up because it kind of goes with the point kind of well romans four verse one just so
you know that this is not a hobby horse of mine okay this uh horse has only been hobbyed one time
one other time rome see kylie's laughing see there we go genesis four verse number one the bible
says in genesis four one it says and adam knew his wife and she conceived and bare cane and said
i've gotten a man from the lord obviously i'm using this euphemism the same way that the bible does
so that this goes over the heads of children but makes sense to the people that it would apply to
when i'm talking about that you should know your spouse i'm saying this that you should
give them the due benevolence that you owe them as a spouse and vice versa and i again i would
just would be i'd be speaking amiss not to bring this up because this is a huge thing in marriages
like uh go to first Corinthians seven verse three and then we'll take a long break from this topic
okay it'll be a long time again but i just felt like it made sense to bring up uh in tandem with
all the points i'm making talking about dwelling to knowledge first Corinthians seven verse number
three it says this i'm going to take a different angle than i talked about on wednesday it says that
the husband render unto the wife due benevolence and likewise also the wife into the husband
the wife hath not power of her own body but the husband and likewise also the husband hath not
power of his own body but the wife defraud ye not one another except to be with consent for time
that you may give yourselves to prayer and fasting and come together again that satan tempt you not
for your incontinency so when we're talking about dwelling with knowledge i'm applying this to
you knowing your spouse the same way that adam and neve knew each other and i again just want
to echo something from wednesday though that again this is not a privilege this is not a cherry on
top of marriage this is not like a reward that you give someone or a weapon that you use against
someone this is something that you owe your spouse to be very clear that's what paul is saying here
he's saying if you're purposely withholding the relationship that you're supposed to have with
your spouse that is sinful you are sinning against god for doing that you're doing evil to your spouse
by doing that and i already explained all the caveats about what i think these verses mean in
their context i'm not going to go through that again tonight but i just want to say you tell you
that this is a huge problem in marriages i hear this all the time from co-workers when they're
talking about like their wives they'll be it is i've heard from multiple guys i'm just bringing
it up randomly not like i'm asking about it they'll just tell me like oh yeah it's just like once in
a blue moon that me and my wife come together like anniversaries and birthdays and that's it
that's like that's where we're at in our marriage right now and i just look at it i'm like that's
terrible that's terrible for them but i just want to tell everybody that's terrible for your marriage
that should not be the case among christians paul is saying right here that you are sinning if you're
doing that to your spouse if either one of you are withholding each other from your spouse and i've
already given caveats that there's exceptions we all understand this okay i just want to understand
though that you made a vow to your spouse you said i am going to separate myself from every other
person in this world to be with you that's the deal that you guys made so that you should both
fill your ends of that bargain okay to keep it uh pg 13 here you guys can go to aphesians 432
aphesians 432 i'm partially bringing this up as well because my wife when she was in this
pregnancy group uh when she was with winter they have like this thing where all these women that
are getting pregnant around the same time are like in a facebook group and i don't know it's a woman
thing i'm like i don't know if i'd be doing that but hey you can do your thing but in the group
there was like a post that they had made talking about intimacy with their spouse and there was
just like so many women on there like bragging about defrauding their husbands the whole time
for pregnancy like what like obviously it's pretty rare but like for the whole pregnancy
but there were women on there saying like since i got pregnant no interaction with my spouse in
that regard or hey the last three months the last six months nothing in that regard that's evil
though okay and these weren't christian women that are doing this is just like unsafe people
but i'm just telling you this because that should not be the case you just need to realize as a
woman and for a husband okay this is not just a privilege again this is a necessity this is
something that you owe your spouse i think sometimes women don't realize how important it
is to a man in that regard but this is a huge deal it's not just like dessert at the end of a
night where it's just like oh if i get this it's it's nice it's like for a man it like actually
feels like food like it feels like a meal like something that you need okay aphesians 4 32
aphesians 4 i already gave you guys all the obvious caveats for that so i'm not going to
talk about that i am bringing that up it's a little awkward it's a little a little cringe okay
we're just getting all the cringe out the way okay but i do just bring that up because it isn't the
bible mentions it for a reason you guys understand what i'm saying if the bible mentions this then
i'm going to mention it from behind the pulpit that is my job as a church leader especially when
it's an issue like this it's like taboo so people don't want to talk about it it almost makes you
think maybe you should talk about it more because this should be talked about it's not talked about
enough just because it's cringy in our society i think but it is what it is a bad example as i
move on to the last point of the sermon if you don't follow this example is someone like david
if you think about the story i'm not going to do this for time's sake but you'll recall that the
first woman that he married was a girl named michael and they had a bunch of issues why they
separated that weren't because they hated each other or anything like that but i'll just bring
your attention to the fact that when david brings the ark of god in to the city michael doesn't like
that he's dancing before the lord which that's a whole nother can of worms i'm just like what is
going on here okay like david's hitting the gritty and that's what she's mad about or something i don't
know what's going on but probably not if he's dancing for the lord okay but she's mad about it
she goes up and just nags him about it and then he says you know what i was dancing for the lord
and he's like you know what michael i'm not going to be with you for the rest of our marriage which
is sinful by the way so he puts her away so it says that she has that she and him did not come
together again for their whole marriage why am i bringing that up though because you'll know with
david that he his biggest sin his biggest fault was committing adultery with another man's wife
but you might think though like david because he already had multiple wives on top of this
but i'm just like what is something that sets him up for failure in that regard like hey maybe he
wouldn't have been concerned about another woman on the on the roof if he was with his actual wife
like he was supposed to be if he hadn't just put in her away in her anger and people debate
who's right in that story or not as far as like was she justified to be mad or anything like that
here's the thing though no matter what with your spouse the arguments the disagreements that you're
having at the end of the day do not withhold that from them because you will end up with like david
that's what paul says in in corinthians right he says what is the point of you not staying separate
in that regard it's so that satan doesn't tempt you for your inconsistency right you are setting
yourself up for failure both of you if you're doing that to your spouse aphesians 432 where
you guys are first one this room was this is that you should focus on what you can do for your
spouse not what they can do for you point number two is that you should know your spouse in both
ways that i'm talking about number three is this is that quick apologies make for quick resolutions
aphesians 432 it says and be kind one to another tender-hearted forgiving one another
even as christ or god for christ's sake hath forgiven you i just want you to realize in a
marriage as i was saying earlier i was like we didn't have like this like chunk period where
it was like this was year three the worst okay i can't point to you with like a year like that
but i will say just like every other couple we've had up and downs we've had times where we fight
with each other we get mad at each other you know you you blow up about something dumb and i've said
this before but it's super true 99% of the times when we've gotten at each other it has to do with
something not between us but it's like the kids that are like working us up and then like it's
like you get mad and frustrated about that which is kind of annoying but when it comes to things
like that in marriage like about fighting with each other you just realize you will fight with
your spouse you will not get along because we're both sinful everyone's a sinner we're all going
to fail but when you do trespass against your spouse when you do make a mistake against them
what you should do is apologize to them tell them you're sorry for doing it and if your
spouse apologizes to you from what the bible says right here you should forgive them no matter
what it is you should forgive your spouse we should be tender-hearted it says forgiving one
another why even as god for christ's sake if forgiving you the odds are is that we in our
life are probably going to sin more against god than our spouses are ever going to directly sin
against us and if god forgives us of every single thing that we do against him then how much more
should we forgive our spouses when they sin less against us in reality so i'm just going to tell
you something that has been helpful for us in our marriage is when we do get in these little
quabbles and these bickerings and these little uh back and forth we try to apologize as fast
as possible and i would just give you this good advice as soon as you realize you've done any
wrong in an argument you should immediately apologize because then what you do if you don't
do that you're just building up animosity you're building up bitterness and it's like it all will
go away though if you just go up and apologize and here's another pro tip as well if your spouse
apologizes to you you should just apologize apologize back to them okay this is just like
common human decency okay that just makes everything smooth over way better even if you did
only one percent wrong and they did 99.9 percent wrong just both of you apologize and when someone
apologizes to you you should accept their apology not just nitpick it because that's what people
have a tendency to do like like they weren't sorry enough it's like well you just better hope that
god doesn't treat you the same way with the sins that you do in your life like oh what like you
know because we sin against like i said we sin against god every single day if we're being honest
with ourselves and when we go to god we don't have to go to him with this fear of like was i sorry
enough he forgives us of all of our sins the minute that we ask him for it it's not like he gives it
like a like a criticisms on these apologies or these like asking for forgiveness like no no you
have to at least do prayer and fasting or i'm not i'm not even going to think about forgiving you
right you should your spouse shouldn't have to grovel to you for you to accept their apology
a simple i'm sorry i did this and that should suffice everything at that moment let your anger
go away don't continue with the back and forth at that moment and we have that habit of like just
being like once that happens i'm like i'm sorry when the other person wants to fight still they're
like still worked up about it give them a hug give them a kiss you can't be mad when someone's
giving you a hug and a kiss right it's against the rules but seriously though like like there's
something in us as humans that's just toxic that's just terrible that sometimes even when
someone does apologize for what they've done wrong we just don't want to forgive them we just
want to stay fighting like we want to stay in contention with them do not do that in your
marriage though forgive each other because quick apologies makes for quick resolutions quick fights
and then it's over with then you don't have time to build up all this bitterness just forgive each
other right away what is in ephesians 426 it says and be angry and said not let the sun let not the
sun go down upon your wrath people have different interpretations of this but what i have always
taken this to mean is this is that the anger that you have with anybody but obviously this would
apply to your spouse as well should not be kept overnight you should resolve whatever issues you
have with your spouse the day that it's happening the day that the sun's up before the sun's up
what goes down you should try to fix your problems there are going to be exceptions to this because
obviously sometimes there's things that are a little bit more easy than just like i'm sorry
like real quick or whatever but this should be like a general principle to you try to fix the
problems that you have the day that they happen don't carry things over into the night because
this is what happens too sometimes you'll let something carry over and then you won't bring it
up again but then you never talk about it and then it just sits there as like a root of bitterness
as like something that'll spring up later on don't do that though don't let the sun go down on your
wrath fix the grievances that you have that same day is what i would recommend to you that's been
very helpful to us first corinthians 6 7 this last place i'll have you guys turn it says now therefore
there is utterly a fault among you because you go to law one with another why do you not rather
take wrong why do you not suffer yourselves to be defrauded i would just say to you this as well
if your spouse does do something to you and it's not the end all be all and you can forgive them
just suffer yourself to be defrauded in situations like sometimes people get in this habit where
they need like a strict apology for every single wrong thing that was done to them that should not
be so though for us christians because again i'll compare this back to god because that's what the
bible does aren't you glad that when you go to god and you just like give him a blanket statement
of like please forgive me of all my sins obviously when you're like more upset about something
sometimes you'll purposely list off the individual things that you do against him but like isn't it
nice that when you go to god you're like will you please forgive me of all my sins that he does that
he washes you clean of all your iniquities and we're not about salvation right there we obviously
know this but we're talking about like just in our daily life like his relationship that he has with
us we're talking about when you go to him he's not like oh i need everything listed out right here or
you get no forgiveness it's like he's very merciful to us he's very generous to us he's very uh kind
to us take that love that god gives you and reflect it onto your spouse as well you shouldn't just need
like again uh some groveling apology to accept what's been done to you and when your spouse does
you wrong and they don't apologize just let it go you just realize that there's been things that
you've done in your life as well to people that you haven't apologized for that they've gotten
over with because a mature person in reality shouldn't need an apology for every single time
that they're done wrong be real like some things this is being a mature christian sometimes someone
does you wrong and you acknowledge it's wrong and then you're like but i'm just gonna move on with
my life i'm just gonna move on it's not that big of a deal because again we sin against people all
the time and if you were held to the carpet on every single time you sinned you wouldn't farewell
either. The title of my sermon again like i said was seven great years this was trying to give you
some advice on how to have a good marriage some things that we've done that worked out for us
and the point of the sermon were this is that you should focus on what you can do for your spouse
not what your spouse can do for you and if you do that they will naturally do good things for you
as well because this i didn't touch on this but this is really true as well there's no such thing
in my opinion as like this like perfect spouse that's always doing right to their other their
significant other and then they don't eventually like get on the same train as them you know what
i mean like most of the time when spouses are having problems it can be one person's fault more
than the other but it's usually it takes two to tango it's usually two people that are beefing in
a problem it's not just one-sided most of the time so you should focus on what you can do for your
spouse not what your spouse can do for you and they'll naturally reciprocate that back to you
number two is that you should know your spouse you should dwell with them according to knowledge
and number three is that quick apologies make for quick resolutions when you know that you've done
wrong to your spouse you should apologize to them and when they do apologize to you you should
accept that apology without it being some kind of crazy outlandish like super over the top apology
that should not be what you require as a as a christian because that's not what god requires
from us that all means so let's pray dear other god thank you so much for this wonderful day thank
you so much for being due for us god i just pray that you would uh be with the men as they preach
tonight god and i just pray that you would uh fill them with your holy spirit when they do
i pray that the the things that i preach in this sermon would um would uh be taken to heart god
and that people would have good and happy marriages god i just pray you continue to bless the families
in this church and help people to get along and help people to um to love each other for the
husbands to love their wife their wives like you love the church and for the wives to submit their
husbands uh as unto the lord and i just pray that you would um help brother paul with his uh issue
and help him to make a full recovery just need to pray amen all right if you want to take your
hymnals we're going to turn to page number 116 page number 116 he leadeth me page number 116
we'll sing it out on the verse he lead me sing every bunch please close the word prayer