A few weeks ago I preached a sermon called The
Importance of Communication and I wanted to make
sure to communicate a little bit more on that topic
of communication.
So I don't really feel like I got to cover this as
good as I wanted to so I failed to communicate
everything that I wanted to communicate.
But anyway, the title of the sermon this morning is
Evil Communication.
Let's have a word of prayer.
Heavenly Father, we thank the Lord so much for the
Saints and for the gathering of the congregation
today.
I pray, Lord, that you would just bless this day,
bless everything that's done here, the preaching, the
soul-winning, and Lord our fellowship.
I pray, Lord, that you would be with me and fill me
with your spirit as I begin to preach.
I pray that you would help me to communicate the
things that you would want me to communicate this
morning to your people.
In Jesus' name I pray.
Amen.
Alright, so I had Brother C.J. read Proverbs Chapter
4 because I didn't want him to have to read 1
Corinthians Chapter 15, which is where I get my
title.
So go ahead and just keep your place in Proverbs
Chapter 4, but let's turn back, or turn over to 1
Corinthians Chapter 15 in the New Testament.
1 Corinthians Chapter 15 in the New Testament.
So it's 58, I think it's like 58 verses or something
like that in 1 Corinthians Chapter 15.
And Brother C.J. just looked tired this morning, so
I just wanted to give him some mercy.
See, a pastor does have mercy on people, so anyway, I
was having mercy on you, you know, also because, you
know, just the way he reads, no, I'm just kidding.
He's great.
So anyway, so I'm already evil communicating about
my own people here, so you see who I am?
See how wicked people are?
So let's look at 1 Corinthians 15 verse 33, it
says, Be not deceived, evil communication, evil
communications corrupt good manners, awake to
righteousness and sin not, for some have not the
knowledge of God, I speak this to your shame.
So basically, evil communication can corrupt
good manners.
So what is evil communication?
Well, anything that's not good, you know, and it
could be like, you know, it could be just the way we
talk to people, but it also can be wicked things that
are found in the Bible, and this is a big topic, it's
a big subject, there's a lot of different types of
evil communication, so I'm just going to cover some
of them.
When it comes to railing, I'm probably going to wait
until I preach my sermon on 1 Corinthians Chapter
5 to kind of go deep into that, but, you know, our
own communication can affect our good manners.
Other people's communication with us can also
corrupt our good manners, and now good manners isn't
necessarily talking about, you know, what forks you
put on the right, what, you know, your salad forks
and all that kind of stuff, although it can mean
the manners that you would have towards other people,
how you conduct yourself in society, because obviously
there's things, in our society it would be rude in
other societies, and vice versa, but what I think
it's talking about mainly is the manner in which you
live your life, and so, but I think it can mean both,
so the evil communication that others bring to you,
or that you bring to others, can affect the good way
that people live their life, and also can affect the
way that people would act in society, because let's
just think about what people would say is cussing, okay?
Cussing is the colorful language which a lot of people
use, and Christians, you know, there's a lot to be said
about certain words, like people think the words
damn and piss and bastard are bad words, you know,
I know people are just like, oh, I can't believe you
said that, but look, those words are in the Bible,
so is God having corrupt communication?
No, the word bastard just means that you're an
illegitimate child, you know, in this sensitive
snowflake world that we live in right now, people
would want to use a different word for that, you know,
illegitimate child is probably a little less hardcore,
right, but God just cuts right through the tape and
says, you know what, you're a bastard, okay?
So it shouldn't offend us, you know, we shouldn't
try to soften up the words of the Bible, because
that's God's word, so if God says those words,
then how can they be wrong to say?
So, anyway, I'm not gonna get super deep into that
part of it, but if you're using the F word as every
adjective, every pronoun, every thing that you say
in a sentence with somebody, I mean, people can use
the F word in colorful ways, and you know, if anybody
works construction, you know, a lot of times you're
around people, or if you're working on, around any
man, period, a lot of men talk like that, and actually
there's some pretty vulgar women out there that I've,
you know, they've made me blush, so, but as Christians,
do you think that people are gonna judge you by the
way you speak, though?
Obviously they are, so if you're always just, you know,
throwing off F bonds because you have liberty in Christ,
then, you know, that's probably not a good way to
communicate, because people think that, like,
saying certain words are sinful, and maybe some of them
are, like, I would say that the F word is probably
a word that we should not use, right, because
it's indicating something that we shouldn't, you know,
we shouldn't be having in our regular conversations,
we're not supposed to be talking about stuff like that,
so, but, you know, obviously we're sinful, and the Bible
says the tongue can no man tame, you know, so sometimes
you're gonna say things that you wish you hadn't said,
but if you, you know, think about this, if you use
those words around your kids a lot, they're gonna learn
to use those words too, and then they're kids, so,
it's good to break the cycle of that if you possibly can,
and obviously when I grew up, I thought my middle name
was that word, so, like, my parents cussed a lot,
and the F word was one of their favorite words, so,
and I'm not saying you can't break yourself of those things,
and some people use evil communication in other ways,
it might not be that, maybe when you got saved,
you got saved all the way, and you've never said
a cussed word ever since you've been saved, and, you know,
you just immediately, that left you to never want
to cuss again, maybe that's you, okay, well what else
do you say that's evil communication though?
Because, you know, tail bearing's evil communication,
having a forward mouth is evil communication,
railing is evil communication, back biting
is evil communication, foolish talking
is evil communication, over jesting,
when you're just being a clown, you know,
jesting is like a clown, right, so if you're always
just being a clown and you're never serious,
that can be, I believe, evil communication,
lying, bearing false witness, evil communication,
so some people are like, I can't believe he said
the SH word, you know, or the F word, you know,
the only F word I use is the word fag, so,
and I don't think that's a bad word, it's just,
it's just, you know, a synonym of homo or sodomite
or whatever, but, you know, I'm just saying that
some people will look at someone the way,
if they say some colorful language and go,
I can't believe that they're Christians
and they talk like that and then they lie
about people behind their back, they do all these lists
that I just kind of got through saying,
and so others can affect our evil,
others' evil communication can affect us,
it rubs off on us, so if you're always hanging out
with someone that's always, has some sort of
evil communication, then it can rub off on you
and it can go into your everyday life
and corrupt your good manner of life,
it can corrupt the manners in your society,
so if you're around someone that's always using
that kind of language, then it can wear off on you
and then you start using it also, you see what I'm saying?
So this is a big, broad subject,
and nobody is, has a pure mouth.
Even Isaiah the prophet, when he was called by God,
you know, he said, I'm a man of unclean lips,
and like God actually, you know, one of the angels
took a burning coal and put it on his mouth
to cleanse his mouth because, you know,
maybe, you know, he's a good guy,
but he's realized immediately,
when you're in the presence of God,
you immediately start to realize
just how sinful you really are,
and so what is the first thing that he thought about?
How unclean his lips are, and you know,
the guy's, you know, he's called to be a prophet,
God's calling him to be a prophet,
so just because you're a man of unclean lips
doesn't mean God can't use you either, right?
So let's go through some of these evil communications
that I'm talking about.
So what are these communications
that can corrupt our good manner of life?
What are these communications that can corrupt our manners
in everyday society?
Well, tail bearing is one of them.
Tail bearing is a person, you know,
is the act of a person who spreads gossip, secrets,
et cetera, that may cause trouble or harm.
So the tail bearing is, you know,
and it starts off, you know,
as you're talking about somebody,
maybe you don't even have all the details,
but you're already starting to spread,
you know, what we would call gossip.
Gossip is what modern day society calls it,
but the Bible actually doesn't have the word gossip in it.
So the Bible uses the word tail bearing,
and tail bearing is when you're telling stories
about other people, generally behind their back,
and you're spreading,
you could even be spreading something that's true,
but you know, you've never played that game Campfire, right?
And at the beginning,
and some people intentionally twist those words
to make it sound funny and stupid
as it gets around to the last person.
You know what I'm talking about, that game Campfire,
where everybody's in a circle,
you start out with one story,
and then that story gets back,
and at the very end, it doesn't have anything to do
with what the original thing was.
It barely has a resemblance of it.
And like I said, some people start to distort it
just to make it sound funny,
but that's how tail bearing also works,
is that someone will distort some part of the story
and by the time it gets around the camp,
then it's something completely different and not even true.
And that happens in church life, and it should not happen.
So that's something that would be evil communication,
spreading gossip and secrets about someone
to cause trouble and harm.
Backbiting is to attack the character or reputation
of a person who's not present.
You're attacking that person's character and reputation,
and they're not there.
So anything that you wanna say to someone,
you know, that you'd say behind someone's back,
you should be willing to say to their face.
And sometimes, who's ever got caught saying something,
well, you don't have to raise your hand,
but who's ever got caught, like, I knew it!
No.
Who's ever, but if you've ever got caught
seeing something behind someone's back
and then the person walks right up
and they've been listening for like a couple seconds,
you feel stupid, don't you?
So, and that's backbiting.
But you know, sometimes it could be true.
And so if it's, like, I've actually had that happen,
and I'm like, yeah, you do suck, or whatever, you know?
Like, I'll say, you know, if it's not worth
saying behind someone's back, you should, you know,
if you're saying it behind someone's back,
you should be willing to say it to their face.
And so, also, foolish talking, again,
is just like you're talking about things
that are stupid that don't matter, right?
Foolish things.
So, you know, and obviously, I'm not saying
you should eat, drink, sleep, read the Bible at all times
and never talk about anything else,
but if you are always talking about other things
and they're foolish things, that's evil communication,
in my opinion.
Like I said, jesting, jesting is where you're just
acting like a clown, you know?
That's what we would consider a clown, right?
And nobody likes clowns, let's just be honest.
They're scary, and they're also strange.
So, nobody likes a clown, even without makeup, right?
So, lying is, again, one of those things
that we should just not be, you know,
if you're lying to people, that's evil communication.
Bearing false witness is basically in the same category.
Railing is always sinful, it's always wrong.
Now, people will say, well, you shouldn't rebuke people.
You shouldn't correct people, and like,
people get on to me about the sermons I preach
about correcting false prophets and rebuking people
and things like that.
Rebuking is not wrong.
Railing is wrong.
Railing is always a lie, and it's always a sin.
Any time you talk about railing,
any instance of railing in the whole Bible,
it's always a sin, and it's always wrong.
Now, rebuking is something where you're telling
someone they're wrong, and sometimes you gotta
freak out on people and rebuke them.
But obviously, you wanna do that with love,
you know, and things like that.
But rebuking is not wrong.
We're supposed to reprove, rebuke, exhort
with all long suffering and doctrine.
And then also, having a forward mouth.
Willfully contrary, not easily managed.
Someone that just shoots off at the mouth
about everything that they think.
Who knows people like that?
If it's you, just raise your hand.
No, I'm just kidding.
You don't have to raise your hand.
But sometimes we can get into a negative mind state.
We can get into a negative attitude.
We can get into talking about things negatively
all the time to where nothing is ever positive.
And you know what that does?
It just brings everybody else down around you.
And so we should have a positive attitude.
We're Christians, we're children of the king.
And so we should have a positive attitude about things,
and not everything always has to be,
oh, it's so bad, it's so sinful, it's, you know,
everything's always negative.
You're always talking about somebody negative.
Someone's always talking about you negative.
And so we gotta get our wickedness,
our evil communication under control.
And we also can control who we hang around with
that is corrupting us with their evil communication, right?
Because nobody forces you to hang out with people.
You know, you hang out with people
that you wanna hang out with,
but if that person's causing you to be negative,
hey, there's nothing wrong with reproving that person.
Say, hey, you know, let's not talk about that.
Let's talk about something positive.
Let's talk about something that's more positive.
Let's talk about something else.
So, and we can get trapped,
everybody can get trapped into talking negative.
Everybody does.
You know, like I said, the Bible says
the tongue no man can control.
You know, we can control animals,
we can control the way a ship steers
and all these different things,
but the tongue can no man tame.
It's full of poison, and it's wicked.
You know, our tongue, this little thing,
this little member in our mouth that speaks,
you know, boasts great things.
But it can be used to condemn someone,
it can be used to give life and great conversations with.
But us as Christians, we should probably
be on the side of using it for the right.
You know, not probably, we should be.
So again, manners can be the manner
in which you live your life
or the manners of how you deal with others.
So, and if evil communication corrupts good manners,
then the influence of that communication
can influence the manner in which you live
or act normally or normally would behave.
Let's look back.
So I had you hold your finger in Proverbs chapter four.
Great chapter, great chapter of the Bible.
It actually talks about these people
who can't sleep until they've caused somebody to fall.
That's really weird, right?
You know, if you're a normal person,
your thoughts before you go to bed
is not to cause someone to fall.
This is talking about a wicked person, evil people.
And so in church life, evil people can creep in,
evil people can be part of our church
and you don't even realize it,
because you know, the devil works in subtlety.
And subtlety is where, you know,
and I'll define that in a minute,
but let's look at verse number 24 in Proverbs four.
Look what it says.
Put away from thee a froward mouth.
And remember, that's someone that's contrary
or not easily managed.
Someone just shoots off at the mouth all the time.
Put away from thee a froward mouth
and perverse lips put far from thee.
And there's a lot of people that tell perverted jokes
and say perverted things,
but anything that you would say
that's perverting even the truth
would be someone that has perverse lips.
It says put away that person.
Put away froward mouth and perverse lips
put far from thee, including yourself and others.
Look at verse 25.
Let thine eye look right on
and let thine eyelid look straight before thee.
Ponder the path of thy feet
and let all thy ways be established.
So when you ponder where your feet are gonna go,
then you're thinking about where you're gonna go, right?
So in football, we had this term
and when I would teach people how to tackle as a coach,
I would say where your head goes,
your feet are gonna follow.
Where your head goes,
so if people, like their head is diving towards the ground,
their feet are gonna follow towards the ground,
but if you have your head up
and you're looking at that person,
then your feet are gonna follow through with that hit.
Now obviously, not everybody knows what I'm talking about,
but if you've ever tackled somebody before,
if you're looking down on the ground,
that's when someone's gonna shed that tackle or whatever.
But the point I'm saying is that
where your head goes, your feet will follow.
And so in our lives,
if you're pondering the path that your feet are gonna go,
you're thinking about that before you do it.
And you're like, you don't just walk aimlessly
like people with their smartphones in their hand.
Have you ever watched those videos
where people just walk into stuff
and have their cellphones in their hand?
They're not pondering where their feet are going.
They're just walking like this,
you know, they are an android at that point.
And I've seen people like fall into like, you know, what?
Manhole covers.
Oh, man, yeah, manhole covers.
People fall all the time.
I heard Josh fell yesterday when he was out, you know.
Were you on your phone?
No, okay, good.
He just fell.
All right, so anyway.
But we need to be looking where we're going.
And that's the point.
And so you don't wanna be around people
and put yourself in a situation
where you're gonna have evil communication.
If someone that you're hanging out with
has a froward mouth and perverse lips,
put those people far from me.
Think about where you're going.
Think about who you're hanging around with.
And you know, people can be corrected.
You don't have to just throw them out like trash.
But you know, if what they're doing
is affecting how you live your life
and how you communicate with other people,
then that person should not be someone
that you hang around with.
Turn to Proverbs chapter 23, verse six.
Excuse me.
Proverbs chapter 23, verse number six,
the Bible says,
"'Eat thou not the bread of him that have an evil eye,
"'neither desire thou his dainty meats.'"
So eat not the bread of him that have an evil eye.
That's someone that's a sinful person that's always,
maybe they're just looking at your wife,
maybe they're just, whatever it is they're doing,
but they have an evil eye.
They want things that they shouldn't be wanting.
Maybe it is money or food or whatever it is.
Look what it says in verse seven.
It says,
"'For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.'"
So people that sit there and have evil thoughts
and evil communications,
they're thinking about those things in their heart
before they ever say them.
And it says,
"'Eat and drink, saith he to thee,
"'but his heart is not with thee.'"
There's people that you're gonna hang around with
that their heart isn't actually with you.
They have an agenda.
They have something that they want from you.
They wanna turn you aside.
And it starts with subtlety.
It starts with their evil eye.
It starts with their evil thoughts.
And like, yeah, they could invite you out to dinner
or whatever, but what they really want
is to turn you away from the faith
or turn you aside from friendship with somebody else.
Or just, you know, they want something from you.
And it's something that's evil.
So it says, keep away from those types of people.
So when you hang around evil people,
their evil will affect you,
is basically what I'm saying here.
So don't let that person's evil affect you
because I tell this to people all the time.
You know, we're not supposed to make friends with the world.
Why?
Because they're gonna rub off on you.
You're not gonna rub off on them.
Unless you're trying to get them saved or something,
then these people that don't believe anything
like you believe, they have some,
you know, just unsaved people in general,
they don't think the same way that you do.
And so ultimately, there's gonna be a clash
with how you deal with this person,
and it will affect, they're gonna affect you.
Kids that you let your kids hang out with,
that you're gonna, their kids are gonna affect your kids.
You're not gonna affect theirs if you're trying to,
you know, obviously you want
to be a good influence to people,
but if they're already corrupt,
if they're already doing evil and wicked things,
then that person is gonna rub off on you.
You're not gonna rub off on them.
So believe it or not, not everybody
has your best interest at heart either.
You know, we would think in the circles of Christianity
that, and in a church, that everybody always
has your best interest at heart,
but that's not always true, is it?
It's not always true, and that's like when you see people
that have been going to church for years,
and all of a sudden they just turn against the pastor,
turn against the church, you know,
and sometimes it's a short-term thing.
You're like, oh, this person's on fire,
they're going soul-winning, they're doing all this stuff,
and the next thing, you know, they're talking crap,
and they're trying to divide the body of Christ,
they're trying to throw shade on the pastor or whatever,
and so, you know, you don't want negativity
to be something that you're a part of,
and look, when you start seeing this happen,
if you actually stop and pay attention
and quit listening to flattery and quit paying attention
to how much you like them and all this,
just stop and listen to people for a minute,
and listen to what they're saying to you,
because that's the problem with us, is we all like to talk.
I kind of mentioned this in my sermon a few weeks ago.
People like to talk, and they like to be heard,
they want their opinions to be told,
but sometimes you need to just shut your mouth
and listen to what they're saying to you,
because not everybody has the best interest
of you in their heart.
Negativity, filthy language, subtlety, boasting, and pride
are other forms of evil communication
that can corrupt your manners
or the manners of those you love.
So pick your kids' friends wisely also.
Just because somebody's from church
doesn't mean they always are the best influence for you.
Now, I would love that everybody in our church
always has, is always doing the right things,
or they're always raising their kids right, or whatever,
but that's just not always true, unfortunately.
So, and so who your kids hang around with,
like I said, they're gonna influence your children.
So, and I'm not saying like just be rude
to other kids in the church,
or be rude to other people in the church,
but you know who you do well with.
You know, it's like some people just meet each other,
and they can't help but do bad together.
You know what I'm saying?
And so some people get together,
and they just do good together, and that's great,
but if you realize and recognize
that your kids are doing worse
once they're hanging around with somebody,
then maybe that's someone
that you need to rein your children back in,
and not let them be friends with them,
and obviously you don't have to be rude about it,
but like, because you can't raise
other people's kids for them.
You can't spank other people's kids for them.
You know, don't be spanking other people's kids
in this church, all right?
Only I can do that.
I'm just kidding.
What's your permission?
Of course, no, I'm just joking.
I've never spanked anybody else's kids in this church.
That'd be weird, but you're only responsible
for you and your family.
You can't help what other people do, all right?
So pick your kids' friends wisely,
and don't feel bad when you have
to dial things back with people,
because like I said, some people
you're just gonna do bad with.
They're always gonna just do bad together.
They're like Bonnie and Clyde, you know?
They just can't help but do wrong things together,
so it's your job as a parent to be responsible
and know what your kids are into
and who they're hanging around with
and what their influence is,
so, and it's the same thing with adults.
You know who you do well with and who you don't.
So, and unfortunately, today,
narcissism is rampant in this country.
Narcissism is rampant in this country.
And what is narcissism?
It's selfish, it's selfishness, right,
of a person involving a sense of entitlement,
a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration
as characterizing their personality type.
So, and I would say that they're probably,
they could be sociopaths, they could be reprobates,
for all I know, but narcissism is not a good trait to have
where you're always, you know, that person's selfish,
they don't care about what's going on with other people,
they have this sense of entitlement,
and they have a lack of empathy.
Lack of empathy is a very scary thing
when someone doesn't care about
what other people are going through,
that they only care about what they're going through,
not what other people are going through,
and you can't care about that other person
because you're so wrapped up in yourself.
And narcissism is basically the love of self,
really, if you boil it down.
I think, you know, your favorite person
is the person that you look in the mirror at,
that's what narcissism actually is, you know?
So it's like, hey, good to see you today.
Yeah, looking good, looking good.
Oh!
And that's basically, I mean,
if you boil it down to its essence,
that's what narcissism is, is the love of self.
And that's a dangerous place to be,
and that's a dangerous person to hang around with.
And sometimes it's hard to see that
because they're so good at manipulating
other people to their side.
So I've seen narcissists that have stolen things from people
and then they make them feel bad that they were mad at them.
It's like, that's weird.
Like, you're still hanging around someone
that ripped you off for thousands of dollars?
That person's a good narcissist.
Well, it was for the greater good, you know?
Sorry I had to take your money like that,
but that's just weird, right?
And what is a good way that narcissists,
how do they attack and how do they do these things?
Well, gaslighting is a way that people, you know,
use to manipulate people.
Narcissists and other people would use gaslighting.
It's a term that's widely used today.
Who's heard of gaslighting before?
Who knows what it means?
All right, less people.
Gaslighting means to manipulate someone
by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.
So, and those things can be big things or little things,
but you're basically just saying every,
you discount everything that that person says.
They're crazy, you know, this is why you're crazy.
And they talk, they just basically manipulate people.
It's a form of manipulation to just tell someone
that everything that they feel doesn't mean anything.
Everything that they're going through is not right.
You're not thinking right, you're just nuts.
And people do this all the time.
And narcissisms use this tool of gaslighting
to manipulate people.
And other people use it too,
but it is a form of manipulation.
I hate when people try to manipulate me.
But you know what, if you go through life long enough,
someone is going to manipulate you.
Someone is, you are gonna think that person's good,
and then you find out later on
that that person never was with you.
They were always stabbing you in the back
and you just didn't realize it.
And you know what, sometimes love is blind.
When you love and care about someone,
sometimes it's hard to see that that person
will be trying to harm you in some kind of manipulative way.
Through evil communication.
Because wouldn't gaslighting be evil communication?
Because how do you manipulate someone?
It's not by sign language.
I mean, I guess it could be,
but it's not by being a mime.
That's not how you manipulate people.
You manipulate people by the things you say out of your mouth
and in narcissism, narcissistic people love
to manipulate people through how they speak.
And so I've seen preachers that are narcissistic
and they use all this stuff.
You know, it's always the big extreme
that nobody really does that they preach about
that isn't really happening.
And then people think, well,
I didn't realize this was such a problem.
That's how preachers can manipulate people.
Well, I didn't realize that this was going on.
I didn't realize that the New IFB was just always hate
and never love.
That's what people say.
It's always, I mean, who's been on the,
you don't have to raise your hand,
but who's been on the merciful and long suffering side
of the New IFB pastors?
I have.
Everybody probably has in this room.
But see, they'll take something and run with it.
And they'll like, where's all the sermons about love?
Where's all, how about every sermon we preach is about love?
How about that?
You know, because when I'm telling someone
to stay away from a wicked person, that's loving, isn't it?
Because most churches aren't going to tell you
stuff like that.
They're going to be like, oh yeah,
just go along to get along and grace, grace, grace.
And hey, did I mention grace?
Did I mention mercy?
Let me mention mercy one more time.
How about another sermon on grace?
If you're listening to Paul Chapel,
that's basically what you're getting.
Every year, it's another thing about,
another 33 week message about grace.
So look, there's other stuff in the Bible.
We're supposed to preach the whole counsel of God, right?
And hey, if we're in a wicked and adulterous generation,
sometimes we're going to have to preach about things
that are uncomfortable because you know what?
The television and the news channels
are manipulating your minds.
The news media is manipulating your minds
and they're making you think things that are not true.
We're always getting on this Republican libertarian thing
as Christians, but you know what?
Some of the things that the Republicans stand for
are wrong too.
Obviously, Democrats are way worse, I'll give you that.
Because anybody that votes abortion on demand at all times
is a wicked person.
But also, the Republicans bow down
and kiss their feet too.
And then when they come together to make this legislation,
it's not just one thing that they're making a bill about.
They have all this pork and all this spending
and all this other garbage that they put into one bill.
That shouldn't be the way this country operates.
Why don't you just say what it is that you're doing
and quit trying to manipulate people.
Quit trying to manipulate people,
even with all this LGBT garbage.
It's manipulation.
They want you to feel bad.
They want you to feel bad for people.
But I'll tell you what, if you're here tonight,
I'm preaching about the cries of Sodom tonight,
and I'll show you what manipulation is like.
Because how do they turn all these cities
against God and to where even the children
were surrounding the house?
Well, manipulation, manipulation.
So anyway, that's tonight.
But when someone's trying to manipulate you,
some people don't even notice it
because the flattery, the subtlety.
Oh, you look so great.
Oh, you look so good.
Oh, you're the best friend that I've ever had.
You're the best friend in the whole world.
Come give me a hug.
People get tricked by stuff like that.
I've been tricked by stuff like that.
Everybody's been tricked by stuff like that.
And I say tricked because that's what subtlety is.
Isn't that what the serpent did to Eve
in the Garden of Eden?
He used subtlety.
He made her doubt God's word was really right
and that God's hiding something from you.
You can become a God just like He is.
You can become like God.
And what did that do?
It turned mankind into sinful people.
And here we are today.
By one subtle trick by the devil,
it turned the whole world into sinners.
And it turned, you know, God was trying to protect them.
He wasn't trying to stop them from knowing something.
You know, He said, here's one thing you can't do.
And then the one thing that they weren't supposed to do,
that's what they did.
And God was trying to protect them from that.
He wanted them to stay innocent.
But see, once they ate of that tree,
that was the sin they committed was eating something
that God told them not to do.
Disobedience.
That's what ultimately led to this world being condemned.
But when you're talking to people
and someone's communicating things with you,
listen to them.
You need to listen.
Stop running your mouth the whole time.
And obviously, you know, sometimes people,
you know, we're bad about interrupting people.
My wife says I'm bad about interrupting people.
Is that true?
What?
No, I'm just kidding.
What do you think, Brother Shawn?
No, I'm just kidding.
And maybe I am bad about that.
I'll work on it, you know.
I'm gonna give us some things we need to work on
with our communication at the end of this sermon.
But we need to listen for subtlety.
Subtlety is making use of clever and indirect methods
to achieve something.
Let me say that again.
Subtlety is making use of clever and indirect methods
to achieve something.
It's indirect.
It's not straightforward.
Last time I preached about this,
I said we need to be straightforward with people.
Not indirect.
Not using clever methods to try to work around
someone's mental defenses.
That's subtlety, and that's the trick of the devil.
And so people that do that,
that's what the devil taught us, right?
To be subtle, to be indirect.
We shouldn't be that way.
Turn to James chapter one, verse 19.
James chapter one, verse 19.
I think I used this in my last sermon,
but that's a good scripture.
James chapter one, verse 19.
James is kind of like a Proverbs
to the New Testament, in a way.
It's got a lot of great stuff in it.
So look at verse number 19.
It says, wherefore, my beloved brethren,
let every man be swift to hear.
Does it say swift to speak?
No, it says slow to speak.
Does it say to speak slow?
Hey guys, how's it going?
No, it says be slow to speak.
Take your time.
Take your time to speak back.
Listen to what people are.
Be swift to hear.
Why is God saying that?
Because a lot of people don't listen
to what people are saying.
Sometimes they're already planning
their next thing that they wanna say
and not even listening to anything
that that person's saying.
You're just waiting to respond
with your knowledge, the thing that you
wanna get across.
And that's why we're able to be manipulated so easily
is because we're not swift to hear.
We're swift to speak.
And so this is something the Bible's
warning us about and telling us,
trying to help us with.
Be slow to speak and slow to wrath.
So, you know, it builds up.
But it says, does it say not to have any wrath?
No, it just says be slow to wrath.
So I just wanna throw that out there.
People go, I can't believe that you got so mad about that.
Why?
Brother Shawn preached a good sermon about be angry.
People think that we're like Buddhists
floating through the air or something
that we never do, we can't even touch
a blade of grass or we're sinful.
It's like, where are you getting this from?
Have you read the Old Testament prophets before?
You know, they thundered forth the word of God
and they weren't always nice to everybody.
Elisha has Naaman, you know, he just says,
go dip in the water seven times.
I don't even wanna see this dude.
You know, and people are like, I can't believe
that you would treat someone that way.
Well, sometimes people need to be,
maybe he knew that he needed to be treated
a little more rough because he thought he was,
you know, he was kind of prideful.
He's like, we have way better rivers than this river.
And it's like, well, yeah, you probably do,
but that's not what he said to do.
He said to dip in this river.
And that's the thing, is people wanna do things
their own way, they think it's Burger King Christianity,
they want everything their way.
They don't want anything to ever be negative
or anything like that, and I'm not,
and I'm talking about evil communication,
but sometimes negative communication
is the right kind of communication,
so don't get me mixed up what I'm saying today.
So, but it says, turn to Proverbs chapter 18, verse 13.
So we're supposed to be swift to hear, slow to speak.
All right, swift to hear, slow to speak,
not slow to hear and swift to speak, okay?
Proverbs chapter 18, verse 13 says,
he that answereth a matter before he, what?
Heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.
So if you're answering some kind of matter
before you've even heard the whole story,
what does it say?
It's folly and shame to you.
So what's the Bible teaching you?
Why don't you listen?
Why don't you hear the whole story
before you judge the situation?
And this is another thing that people do.
It's like they'll hear something,
which is some tale-bearing story,
and then they'll already make a judgment
based upon what they've heard from that one person.
But the Bible says that the person that comes,
you know, and the Bible says the person
that comes and presents their story first,
that's the person that people are gonna believe first.
But then it says his neighbor comes and proves him.
So sometimes the neighbor has to,
you know, the person that's being talked about
has to come and defend themselves and tell,
hey, that's not really how the whole story goes.
But if you've already made a judgment in your mind
before you've already heard the rest of the story,
then that's a folly and a shame to you.
So if we would learn to listen,
it would be very beneficial to us.
That's what the Bible's teaching.
So start listening to what people are saying,
and you're gonna get yourself out of,
and look, you know, I know people say this a lot.
I'm preaching to myself.
I really am preaching to myself,
because I can get wrapped up in this stuff, too,
where I'm not listening when I should be listening,
and I'm talking before I should listen
and hear the whole matter.
So I think that's beneficial to all of us.
Listen for those that try to throw shade
on your leadership or other church members,
because some people have an agenda
to just divide people away from your little group,
and that's what, I hate that.
Like, I'm the type of person
that wants to be accepting of everybody,
even if that person isn't my soulmate friend or whatever.
I don't know if that's, that'd be, yeah, okay.
I don't mean soulmate, but I mean,
like your best friend, right?
Someone that you just, your heart's knit
with that person right away, and you're just like, wow.
It's like David and Jonathan.
You know, you meet those people,
and it's like right away, you just connect with them.
But just because you connect with that person
doesn't mean you don't be friends with everybody else.
You can be connected and great friends with somebody,
but if you're excluding everybody else, then you're wrong.
You need to make sure that you're letting,
you know, and obviously, it sounds like I'm preaching
like something that would be, you know,
well, you said not to hang around certain people.
Yeah, but I'm not saying, I'm saying don't hang around
people that are evenly communicating to you.
I'm talking about those people,
but if someone's just a regular person in the church,
and you just don't like them, they're ugly,
they're fat, or whatever, they're not exactly like you,
then you just wanna not be around them.
That's not the way we're supposed to look at things.
We're not supposed to judge someone
based upon their appearance.
We're supposed to judge them based upon their heart,
and obviously, we can't see everybody's heart.
I realize that, but the things that come out of their mouth
or the things that they speak come out of their heart, right?
And so if they're speaking good and pleasant things
and things that are good for us to hear,
then that's a good sign that that person's a good person,
and why would you shun them
just because they're not exactly like you
and try to get other church members to not like them
just because you don't like them?
That's weird, and it's worldly.
It's not the way that we should be behaving.
It's not the way we should be acting.
We shouldn't just be separating everybody out
that's not just like us, because guess what?
Not everybody's just like you, and maybe that's good,
so maybe you need to get better at being a good person.
Maybe you need to be better
at being a good friend to people.
Maybe you need to reach out the olive branch
to someone that you've shunned in times of passage
because you weren't a mature Christian at that time,
but you know what?
We should grow and get better and better as Christians,
not get worse and worse.
See, evil men and seducers wax worse and worse,
but as Christians, we should learn and get better
at the things and get better with relationships,
get better with accepting other people,
and I'm not saying you have to be friends with everybody,
but you can be pleasant to that person
and not try to go around and dog them out
in front of everybody so that you don't have some person
in your circle that you don't like.
It's not right.
We should be accepting to other Christians.
We're all one lump here, right?
And we don't want leaven to get mixed into our church.
So anyway, so beware of the flatterer also.
Beware of the flatterer.
So what is flattery?
What is flattery?
Well, flattery is excessive and insincere praise.
Pastor, that's the best sermon I've ever heard in my life.
I don't believe you.
I heard myself.
I wasn't that good.
Or excessive, you're just always,
you know what, I'm not saying don't ever say,
hey, good sermon, pastor.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Just saying like, if someone's always saying
that's the best sermon I've ever heard,
I really don't believe you.
But nobody does that to me, so anyway,
maybe because it's not the best sermon I've ever heard.
Anyway, you're being honest.
But insincere praise given especially
to further one's own interests.
See, that's what flattery really is,
and flattery is always wrong in the Bible.
And flattery, you know, oh, you're flattering me.
Have you heard that?
That's like a common term today.
Oh, you flatter me, you know.
Oh, I'm so beautiful, thank you for flattering me.
Flattering is wrong.
It's never good in the Bible.
So if someone is flattering you,
then just know that they're setting you up for something.
They want something from you, they want an agenda.
It's something to serve their own interests,
and the Bible always talks about it being something wrong.
Just like railing, it's always wrong.
So look at Psalm chapter five, verse nine.
Psalm chapter five, verse number nine.
Psalm five, nine says,
for there is no faithfulness in their mouth.
Their inward part is very wickedness.
Their throat is an open sepulcher.
They flatter with the tongue.
So this is talking about these wicked types of people.
There's no faithfulness in their mouth.
Their inward part is wickedness,
and their throat is an open sepulcher.
They got bad breath, it's like the grave, right?
I've seen, I know some people that have this,
but I'm talking about like in a spiritual sense here.
They flatter with the tongue.
So what is flattery?
It's insincere praise that's trying to further
your own interests and agendas.
Insincere and excessive praise.
So what do people that are wicked do
that are trying to manipulate you?
Well, they flatter you with their tongue.
Turn to Daniel chapter 11, verse 32.
Daniel chapter 11, verse 32.
Daniel chapter 11, verse 32 is talking about the Antichrist.
So what is one of the characteristics of the Antichrist?
Well, it says,
and such as do wickedly against the covenant,
shall he corrupt by flatteries.
So how does the Antichrist get more people on his team?
Well, he corrupts them by flatteries.
And so, you know, it's just like that trash collector
type mentality, this bad, this bad,
this bad guy is gonna, he's gonna corrupt everybody else
and turn them into garbage by flattering them.
That's how he's gonna do it.
It says, but the people that do know their God
shall be strong and do exploits.
See, we're supposed to be different.
We're supposed to respond to things differently.
We should not be corrupted by the flatteries of other people.
Here's another evil communication, backbiting.
So backbiting, you know, and you probably think instantly
that someone's just chomping someone's back
with their teeth, right?
And that's basically what it's trying to,
that's what it means.
You know, not literally, but spiritually and by word.
Proverbs chapter 25, verse 23.
Turn over there, Proverbs chapter 25, verse number 23.
And how do we deal with a backbiter?
How do we deal with somebody that's talking crap
about people behind their back all the time?
Well, the Bible tells us how to deal with it real quick.
It says, the north wind driveth away rain,
so doth an angry countenance of backbiting tongue.
So if someone's backbiting someone all the time,
and backbiting is talking bad about someone
behind their back and try to destroy their character,
try to destroy them, how do you get them to stop doing that?
Well, it says, so doth an angry countenance
of backbiting tongue.
So if someone's sitting there backbiting someone
in front of you, then just give them like a dirty look.
Does this look, do I look mad right now?
Yeah, something like this.
What are you doing?
How dare you talk about them like that?
How dare you talk about my pastor like that?
How dare you talk about my brother and sister like that?
But so backbiting is talking about someone
behind their back, that's what it is.
And how do you deal with that?
You don't go, well tell me more.
Come, tell me more, I wanna hear about this issue.
No, you say, hey, quit backbiting that person.
You know what that'll do?
That'll stop that person dead in their tracks,
or if they're talking bad about me,
say, hey, let's go talk to the pastor about that, come on.
Hey, let's go talk to sister so and so
about this issue right now.
And I guarantee you, they're gonna stop dead in their tracks
and they're gonna shut their mouth
and they're gonna feel like an idiot.
And they should, because it's wrong.
And I'm not saying that everybody that backbites someone
is some evil, wicked person,
but it is evil communication, isn't it?
It's something that we need to stop doing.
Now, tail bearing's another one.
Let's look at tail bearing.
Tail bearing in Leviticus chapter 19, verse 16.
Leviticus chapter 19, verse 16.
Tail bearing, I already kind of explained to you
what that is, it's where you're going around
telling tales about other people.
It's basically what we modern day call gossip.
Leviticus chapter 19, verse 16, what's the Bible say?
Thou shall not go up and down
as a tail bearer among the people.
This is talking about other,
this is talking about in the congregation, right?
Or just even outside the congregation,
but like God's, it's talking about God's people here.
Thou shall not go up and down
as a tail bearer among the people,
neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbor.
I am the Lord.
So we're not supposed to go up and down.
That's what tail bearers do, they wanna go up and down
and tell everybody about this gossip
and rumor that they heard.
And it's wrong, it's wicked,
because it never ends up coming out
to what actually really happened.
And it's harmful to people, it hurts people's feelings.
And it's gonna, you know what you're gonna do?
You're gonna drive that person away from the faith,
you're gonna drive that person away from,
what do people always say?
Well, you know, I don't wanna go to church
because there are a bunch of hypocrites, right?
Isn't that what they say?
And like there's hypocrites at Walmart too,
but you still go there, I get it.
There's hypocrites at Fred Meyer, but you still go there.
But they use that as an excuse and a reason,
but you know, there's something to it though.
Because if they get a bad experience at church
and like everybody was talking crap about them,
everybody was being rude to them,
what is their experience telling them?
That God's people aren't treating people right.
God's people are going around as a gossip
and a tail-bearer, and it's not good.
Turn to Proverbs 20, verse 19, I'm gonna read for you
Proverbs 11, verse 13, if you're taking notes.
It says, a tail-bearer revealeth secrets,
but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.
So a tail-bearer, so someone that,
maybe you know something about something,
instead of revealing, you know,
it says a tail-bearer revealeth secrets,
but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.
That's called discretion, you're concealing a matter.
If it doesn't have, if it's none of your business,
then why are you talking about it?
If it's not something you can help
or something that directly affects you,
why are you talking about it?
You shouldn't be.
Look at Proverbs 20, verse 19, it says,
he that goeth about as a tail-bearer revealeth secrets,
therefore metal not with him that flattereth with his lips.
So we're getting a double whammy here.
It's saying that a tail-bearer's the type of person
that goes and reveals secrets,
and it says metal not with them,
don't have anything to do with them,
that flattereth with their lips.
Hey, I know you're not gonna tell anybody,
so I'm gonna tell you this secret.
That's how they operate.
Don't tell anybody I told you this,
but did you know they're committing adultery?
Did you, you know what I mean?
That's not your job to do.
If you know something about something like that,
that's when you come to the pastor and say,
hey, this is, I've heard this is going on.
Someone that can actually deal with the matter.
But if you're telling all this stuff to people
that can't even deal with the matter,
and the pastor's the last one to find out,
do you think that's the right way to do things?
It's absolutely not the right way to do things.
So Proverbs chapter 26 verse 22 says,
the words of a tail-bearer are as wounds,
and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.
So the wounds of a tail-bearer,
see, tail-bearers ultimately, they might say,
well, I didn't mean to hurt anybody.
And people say, you know, sticks and stones
may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
That's not really true.
Words can hurt people.
And when you're going to talk and crap about people,
those become wounds to the people
that you're telling them about.
Because how do you clear your name on some of this stuff?
And if someone's just gone around and told this story,
and never come to the person that it's about,
then you're a tail-bearer.
And that's a wicked sin that you should not be doing.
You're talking crap about people
and spreading misinformation,
and you might think it's true.
You might actually think that what they're saying is true,
but you know what, the wounds of a tail-bearer
go down to the innermost parts of the belly
because, you know what, a lot of times they're not true.
But even if they are true,
you're still not supposed to be going around
telling other people's business.
What are you actually trying to accomplish?
Trying to make everybody hate that person?
Trying to make everybody,
so you got all the great information?
You know, oh, come to me if you want your information.
I will tell you everything.
It's not right.
Lies.
Look at verse 28 in Proverbs chapter 26.
It says, a lying tongue hateth those
that are afflicted by it,
and a flattering mouth worketh ruin.
So the lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it.
So when you're telling lies about someone,
that person, you hate that person
that you're afflicting with that lie.
Isn't that what it says?
It's an interesting verse.
And a flattering mouth worketh ruin.
So it brings that flattery into it.
So you know this type of person is not a good person.
Look at Psalm chapter 31 verse 18.
Psalm chapter 31 verse 18.
The Bible says, let the lying lips be put to silence,
which speak grievous things proudly
and contemptuously against the righteous.
Let the lying lips be put to silence,
which speak grievous things proudly
and contemptuously against the righteous.
And there's people that will just,
they'll run with, they'll run with tail bearing.
They won't even check the source.
They won't even check and make sure
that what that person's saying is true.
And people just run with a lie,
you know, like these reason-filed goofballs,
that they'll just, they'll hear one lying railer
from the church and then make a video about it.
They'll listen to railing
and they'll publish these things as if they're true
when actually they're taking a lie
and then perpetuating that onto everybody else,
making them think that that's true.
So that's what lying lips do.
And what is the intention of a person's communication
when they're speaking evil about somebody,
they're lying about them, they're a wicked person.
Psalm chapter 120 verse two says,
deliver my soul, O Lord, from lying lips
and from a deceitful tongue.
You know why David's saying that?
Because people are always lying about him.
People are always being deceitful with him.
And that's the way it is when, you know,
with leadership a lot of times is that people lie about you.
People make up stories about you.
People twist the truth about you.
And it could be about anybody.
It could be about any Christian.
You know, your own family members lying about you,
lying and telling other family members lies about you.
I'm sure nobody else has dealt with that before
in this church, right?
They're in a cult.
They carry guns to church.
They spank their kids.
Yeah, because we don't want them to turn out like your kids.
Aunt, Auntie, and Uncle,
whose kids never got spanked their whole lives.
I got those family members,
and they want to talk, they want to judge me.
Look at your kids.
They're all messed up on drugs
and work at casinos and stuff, you know?
You're gonna talk crap about my kids?
My kids were pure when they went to the altar.
How about yours?
Oh, they haven't even gone to the altar yet.
Because they're fornicators.
But anyway, six things that the Lord hates.
Proverbs chapter six, verse 16.
Six things the Lord hates.
These six things doth the Lord hate.
Yea, seven are an abomination unto him,
a proud look, a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood,
and heart that diviseth wicked imaginations.
Talking about evil communication, right?
Feet that be swift in running to mischief,
a false witness that speaketh lies,
and he that soweth discord among brethren.
God hates those things.
God hates your wicked imagination.
He hates the fact that you have a lying tongue,
and you're a proud look.
Nobody's ever better than you at church about anything.
You're the best there ever was,
and nobody can ever do it like you.
You're the goat of the church.
Greatest of all time.
And you're sowing discord among brethren.
God hates that.
It's an abomination to him.
And so when you're sowing discord amongst brethren,
even people do it to us as my pastor friends and me.
People try to sow discord amongst brethren,
and it's wicked.
It's wrong.
So we need to understand that evil communication
can affect us in a mighty way.
It can affect our manner of lives.
It can affect everything.
It can affect our relationships,
but it can affect the way we behave,
and that's what we really need to be on guard about
is how do we behave?
Well, if someone's a tail bearer,
and you suffer that person, then guess what?
You're gonna turn into a tail bearer just like them,
and then you're just as bad as they are.
So I talked about having discretion in conversation.
Proverbs five, verse one and two says,
My son, attend unto my wisdom,
and bow thine ear to mine understanding,
that thou mayest regard discretion,
and that thy lips may keep knowledge.
So we need to regard discretion.
We need to have discretion in mind
when it comes to our conversations with people.
Discretion is a quality of behaving or speaking
in such a way as to avoid causing offense
or revealing private information.
See, that's what, so when you're having discretion,
you're not a tail bearer.
You're not the person that's going around
doing all that stuff.
So I told you I'm gonna give you,
at the end of the sermon, I was gonna give you
eight things to avoid in communication.
Now, not all these things are necessarily evil,
but it can affect the way people perceive you,
and it can affect the way your conversations go,
so I guess it can be evil in the way where,
you know, if you avoid doing these things,
it can help you just communicate with people better,
and so that your communication
would be called good communication, right?
And I didn't make any of this stuff up.
I got it off the internet,
but I thought they were good things.
So number one, constantly interrupting.
I already kind of mentioned that.
Things to avoid, this is your top eight things
to avoid in your communication.
Constantly interrupting.
We all have one thing in common when talking
we wanna be listened to,
so if you're one of those people that tend to jump in
and interrupt or even worse,
try to complete people's sentences for them.
Isn't that annoying when people do that?
They're like mouthing what you're saying,
and then they like try to finish your sentence.
You need to keep yourself in check, all right?
Don't do that.
It's weird, it's annoying.
You might think your constant interjections
are a way to show your level of engagement,
but they really just make you look
like a conversational bulldozer.
Mmm, psh, you know,
or the school bus getting knocked over by the train.
So we need to stop constantly interrupting people
when they're talking.
These are just things that are gonna help you
in your daily conversations, okay?
Number two, multitasking.
Multitasking, and I'm bad about this too sometimes,
but I'm busy a lot, but I shouldn't make excuses.
Like when someone's talking to you,
it's best to just stay focused on what they're saying
and look at them in the eyes.
And you know, sometimes I'm bad about that, I get it.
So it says conversations deserve your full attention
and not just the half-hearted glances
you're willing to give them
when you manage to rip your focus away from your iPhone.
Multitasking is a habit we're likely all guilty of,
but you need to be present for your conversations
no matter how menial or futile they may seem.
That means no scrolling through your email
or subconsciously thinking about your grocery list.
Give your conversational partners
the attention that they deserve.
So those are things that can help you.
Number three, using qualifiers.
Do you know what using qualifiers is
when you're having a conversation?
Don't take this personally, but.
This might be a bad idea, but,
or I know what you're thinking, but.
Those are using qualifiers before you answer someone
or give them something in your conversation.
Qualifiers include qualifiers of quantity.
So some, most, all, none.
Those are qualifiers of quantity.
Qualifiers of time, occasionally.
Sometimes, now and again.
Usually, always, never.
And I'll say this with wives just because I know my wife.
Always and never.
You always do this.
You never, no.
Those are qualifiers though.
Qualifiers of certainty, I guess, I think,
I know, I'm absolutely certain, et cetera.
Those are qualifiers of certainty.
A qualifier is a word that limits
or enhances another word's meaning.
Qualifiers affect the certainty and specificity,
good night, specificity, that's what it is.
Good night, communication.
Of a statement.
Overusing certain types of qualifiers,
for example, very or really.
I really, really need a hug.
He's very, very stupid.
No.
You can make a piece of writing or conversation,
you can make, so you can overuse these in writing too.
Don't they always say in writing,
don't use the word vary and things like that.
So, but that can happen in your writing.
And so, basically it can make your writing
or your conversation sound lazily constructed.
Qualifiers exist for nearly every situation,
but if you have the tendency to overuse them,
you may be driving people up the wall.
Why?
Well, while these prefacing statements
might seem like a great way to sugar coat your sentences,
they often just come off as condescending or unnecessary.
So that can help your, you know,
and obviously we all do some of this stuff, right?
You're probably all thinking, that's me.
It's all of us, especially in 2021
when people have forgotten how to write
and they text talk, they spell as they text through T-H-R-U.
You know, it's like, it's really that hard
to spell out the rest of the word.
Number four, equating your experiences.
Tell me if this situation sounds familiar.
Someone is explaining a different,
a difficult problem he is currently facing,
you immediately retort with, I know exactly how you feel.
And then launch into your own long-winded tale
of a time you experienced something
that's not even the least bit similar.
It's important to remember that human experiences
are all different.
Your attempts to show empathy are admirable,
but in most cases you're better off
just listening and lending support.
Number five, floundering.
We've all had to deal with those people
who seem to just ramble on endlessly without a point.
Those people who appear to be talking simply
just because they like the sound of their own voices.
Needless to say, you don't want to garner this reputation
for yourself by constantly chiming in
without a clear purpose.
When you do decide to speak up,
make sure that you're prepared to be clear and concise.
That's the mark of a skilled communicator.
So jumping into a conversation,
you have no frame of reference,
you don't have any idea what anybody's talking about.
We've all done it, okay?
But if that's something that you're good at,
keep being good at that.
You don't have to jump into everything
not knowing what you're, it just makes you look dumb, too.
I mean, when you're just like,
blech, I gotta puke myself into this conversation.
So, I mean, obviously, if you just want to get caught up
with what's going on,
maybe you were in part of another conversation,
you're like, hey, this sounds interesting,
what are you guys talking about, you know?
That's one thing, but if you just jump in
to puke your opinion out,
and you don't even know what you're talking about,
then it just makes you look like an idiot.
So number six, avoiding direct contact.
I'm a big fan of the convenience of email and text messages.
However, if you've ever dealt with someone
who took the time to write out a lengthy message
for someone, he or she could have easily explained
to you in person in a few, in as few as two sentences,
you know how frustrating that can be.
The never-ending assortment of communication tools
available today has made us all a little less willing
to actually talk to one another.
So people would rather write out a message
instead of just directly talking
to the person face-to-face.
So before hitting send on a message,
ask yourself if this is something
that could be done more efficiently
in person or over the phone.
You'll save yourself and the person
on the receiving end a lot of headaches.
So because nobody likes to read text walls
that are like this long on your messenger or something,
it's like, good night.
You could have spoke to me on the phone about that.
But you know, sometimes it's good to have things
in written form, so I'm not saying that's always wrong.
But just, we just gotta, you know,
instead of like, because you're wasting someone's time
with writing more than you have to communicate
when you can just say it simply in fewer words, right?
Number seven, waiting instead of listening.
Waiting instead of listening.
As my mom always loves to tell me,
there's a big difference between hearing and listening.
And when you're having a conversation with someone
you should be actively listening,
that means you're not just staying silent
while thinking of your next point
and waiting for your chance to talk again.
Instead you're engaged in what the person's explaining.
Trust me, people can tell when you're tuning them out.
And this is true, this is a good communication guideline.
Number eight's last one, using filler words.
This is something I know I'm bad about.
But I think a lot of people are.
And when we're preaching, it definitely,
when you watch your preaching,
if you preach and you watch it and you say,
um, uh, you know, things like that,
it says, hey Jason, um, I'm just checking in on that,
report to see if you think you'll like,
have that done by the end of the day.
And those are called filler words.
You knew this had to make it on the list somewhere.
This is perhaps one of the toughest bad habits to break.
We're also used to littering our sentences
with these unnecessary words.
It's like a nervous tick for most of us.
But make your best efforts to cut them out.
Your conversations will be much cleaner and more polished.
Breaking a bad habit isn't always easy,
but channel your energy in removing these faux pas
from your conversations and you'll sure
to be a better communicator.
So I just wanted to help you,
so this morning I wanted to help you understand
the difference between good and bad communication.
And when we're involved in evil communication,
it's hard to get out of those things.
And so you need to learn to get yourself
out of those situations and just say,
you know what, I'm just done being like this.
You know, that's what repentance is all about.
So if we know that we're doing and behaving
in a way we shouldn't be, we're talking about things
we shouldn't be talking with certain people,
that's, you know, just make a clean break of it.
And you know, if someone has to have their feelings
hurt because of it, then that's just the way it is.
Psalm chapter 19, verse 14 says,
let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord,
my strength and my redeemer.
Psalm 19, 14, let the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart be acceptable.
So what's the point?
That we need to make sure that we're doing things
for the right reasons.
We're communicating things for the right reasons.
And when the words of our mouth are acceptable
in the sight of the Lord, that's a good thing.
Job chapter six, verse 24 says,
teach me and I will hold my tongue
and cause me to understand where I have erred.
How forcible are right words,
but what doth your arguing reprove?
How forcible are right words?
That's what, basically those tips were a guideline
for you to help us to have right words.
That's not a right word.
So I'm trying to help you with like evil communication,
but plus as being just a better communicator in general.
So and the Bible says, how forcible are right words,
but what doth your arguing reprove?
Do you imagine to reprove words in the speeches
of one that is desperate, which are as wind?
Forcible means vigorous and strong, forceful.
It's good to use right words.
I was talking about that at the beginning of the sermon,
that words that are in the Bible, those are right words.
And you know, force, it's good to use the right words
and be, you know, we shouldn't, we should be smart.
We should always be learning how to get better,
to be better communicators, not evil communicators,
but good communicators with just even how,
the way we have conversations with people.
How to communicate is important.
It's important that we realize it can mean the difference
between somebody getting saved or not.
It's the difference between whether our marriage
works out or not, whether our kids grow up right or not,
whether someone feels appreciated or not,
whether your boss or coworker likes you or not,
whether you can hear the setup coming from someone
wanting to manipulate you.
It's a, communication's a big deal and we need to learn
how to do it right and we gotta understand
that evil communication isn't the way
that a Christian should be operating.
We should have the Lord in mind
when we have our communications with other people.
And you know, it also can make the difference,
you know, how we communicate is important
because it can make you sound ignorant or not, okay?
And I know that wasn't the right word, but,
ignorant, all right, ignorant.
We don't wanna sound like we're ignorant.
Proverbs chapter 16, verse 23 says,
the heart of the wise teacheth his mouth
and addeth learning to his lips.
And so, what am I trying to get across?
Trying to help you to be wise.
If your heart is wise, you know, teach your mouth.
Let that wise heart teach your mouth
and add learning to your lips.
The way we communicate, if we learn how to communicate
better and in a more right way,
then it's gonna help us in our daily lives as a Christian.
Let's pray.
Lord, we thank you so much, God,
for the truths of the Bible and Lord,
I pray you just help us to be better communicators, Lord,
and I pray you'd help us to not be evil communicators, Lord.
I pray that if there's things in our lives,
obviously everybody probably was hit with this
in some way, shape, or another,
but Lord, I pray that you just help us, Lord,
help us to mind you when it comes to the way
that we communicate with our mouth,
to other people, to our spouses, to our children,
to our friends, to our brothers and sisters in Christ,
to our family members.
Lord, help us and help us to increase in knowledge
and that, Lord, that we'd learn how to use our mouth
the way it's supposed to be used
and not in corruptible and evil manners.
In Jesus' name we pray, amen.