Look at the first four verses again before we get going.
Ephesians 6 and from verse 1, the Bible reads,
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Honour thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise,
that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath,
but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
And we're continuing our Sunday evening series on biblical parenting.
We had a look at pregnancy, labour and postpartum in the first one.
And then we looked at the first year in the second of the series.
And tonight we're going to talk about young children.
So the title is biblical parenting, young children.
Let's pray before we can carry on.
So, Father, thank you. Thank you for your word.
Thank you for the gift of children.
Help me to just preach, you know, your will here,
how you'd want me to preach, to help everyone here,
you know, whether they're parents now or parents in the future,
or those who are just going to support and guide parents now or in the future,
to just help me to preach what you want me to preach, Lord,
to preach the principles that I believe are in the word of God
about parenting, about raising young children.
Help me to do this just accurately and boldly and fully in your spirit, Lord.
In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
So, was he preaching about parenting?
It is a delicate subject for many a case.
So, you know, I suppose, you know, you put yourself out there with this sort of game
because, you know, like I said, I think I joked about this in the first one,
is if you're, you know, telling, some say telling a mum, you know,
that they're parenting wrong is basically like sort of fight talk, yeah.
And I'm not here to tell people they're doing stuff.
I'm right here just to tell them how the word of God says to do things,
and how I would interpret that to modern parenting.
But you could take some of it or leave it if it's my opinion,
if it's from the word of God and what I think matches up with the word of God,
then that's, you know, you make that choice.
And look, I'm not here to offend anyone,
so there will be things that probably tread on toes over this series.
I'm sure there have been already and there will continue to be so.
But please try and just listen to what the word of God says here
and how I think that can be applied to our parenting.
So, we're talking about young children.
And those years, I'm talking about here specifically between sort of one and five,
those sort of ages, sort of pre-school age,
as we look at it in this kind of country,
although that seems to be getting earlier and earlier,
but sort of pre-school between one and five,
we looked at babies last week up until around the first year.
And if you're a man out there and you're still a bit confused going,
what on earth are you talking about?
Well, basically from starting to walk to starting to be able to do sports, OK?
That's the sort of age we're looking at,
any men there that are just wondering and can't picture these things.
OK, so, with that in mind,
this can be a difficult age bracket for many
because suddenly these children aren't quite so easily contained, are they?
Because sometimes you're thinking newborn
and there's that first part which, well, actually a lot of the time,
depending if you kind of got a fractious baby or not,
sometimes the newborn stage isn't so bad
and it's kind of quite, you know, you think actually this isn't so bad
and suddenly they start screaming and crying a lot
and you're not always able to calm them down and this isn't quite so easy.
And then kind of things maybe get a bit easier for a bit for many
and you go, oh, how cute, they're starting to crawl.
It's not quite so easily contained now, but it's not so bad, you know?
At least you keep things on a slightly higher level
and then they kind of get to one year old
and they start to walk and run
and get things that are a lot higher and smash their head on lots of things.
And it can be difficult.
And this is actually quite tricky.
Now, it's not just that they're not so easily contained.
They start to learn quickly what they can and can't get away with at that age as well.
So from sort of one onwards, they start to know how to push buttons,
they start to know what they can and can't do
and they start to get sneaky as well, don't they, kids?
And, you know, you've clearly told them not to go somewhere
and you can see that little look in their eye
and they want to go there again or do something again.
So it can be a challenging age.
And at this age as well, I believe, look, habits get formed, don't they?
Maybe not quite lifelong, or they can be lifelong,
but at least child-long habits can start getting formed,
not only by the child, but also in your parenting as well.
You kind of get into a way of doing things
and kids start to understand what they can and can't get away with, et cetera.
And I believe there are a few principles that we can get from Ephesians 6
about just parenting in general,
and we're going to apply it to this age range as well.
So we're going to look down again at Ephesians 6,
the beginning of the chapter that I just read.
So verse 1 said,
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Honour thy father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise,
that it may be well with thee, and that thou mayest live long on the earth.
Now, before I continue, again, if you're sitting here
and maybe, you know, you're single or you've already had kids,
you're never going to have kids or whatever,
you know, like I preached before, this is all important stuff for those,
maybe, who are going to have kids in the future,
but also for us to just be a support to those that do.
We want to kind of be on a similar page.
We're not all going to be identical.
This isn't a cult.
We had a bit of that before people died,
almost trying to really push and promote their way of doing things.
We don't need to do that.
We don't all have to do things identical.
However, we want to do things how we feel God wants us to do it.
And it's handy if even those here that maybe don't have kids
or maybe think, well, I never will have kids,
we'll at least still hopefully be on the same page.
And when we have new people in the future,
maybe might ask them questions and things,
they'll be able to answer,
oh, yeah, I remember brother Ian preaching this.
This is what, you know, what he might think,
or this is what we believe the Bible says, if you agree.
So those three verses we just saw there,
who's Paul talking to?
Anyone, who's Paul talking to?
Children.
Paul's addressing his letter to children there, isn't he?
Children, obey your parents in the law, for this is right.
He's written a letter to the Ephesian church
and he's specifically addressing the children, isn't he?
He didn't say, tell the children.
He didn't say, tell the children to obey their parents.
He didn't say, sing to the children this bit, did he?
He didn't like turn this part of the letter
into like a catchy song.
Children, obey your parents.
He didn't do that, did he?
He didn't say, apply this part in notes,
like to Psalm, whatever's music.
Yeah, he didn't say that.
He addressed the children, why?
Because he expected the children to be listening along
with the rest of the church, didn't he?
He expected the children to be listening
when this letter was read out to the church
at Ephesus to be listening as well.
And like, you know, the title's biblical parenting,
we're looking at young children and principle number one
that we can get from this letter,
from this chapter of the letter to the Ephesians
is young children should be getting trained for real church.
So young children should be getting trained for real church,
which is one of the many reasons
that we're a family integrated church here, okay?
One of the many reasons we're a family integrated church.
And if you're sitting there and you're wondering,
what is a family integrated church?
Or maybe you're watching this,
maybe you'll be watching this in the future going,
what is a family integrated church, brother Ian?
Well, basically we're a church
and you could turn to Matthew 19 while I'm saying this,
we're a church that believes that children
should be a part of the service as well, okay?
We don't, we're not a church which,
when you come into the church,
start trying to wrestle your precious child off you
to get them down into the Sunday school basement,
or maybe to quickly get them into the back room
where it's just completely away from everyone else
because, well, you don't want children there
ruining the church service.
No, we don't believe that.
We believe that they should be part of the church service.
We believe that there is actually nowhere in the Bible
that teaches a Sunday school.
There's not, as most churches call a Sunday school,
there's nowhere in the Bible that teaches
that children shouldn't be part of learning
what the word of God says with the adults,
that they should be separate kind of singing
pretty little songs and, you know,
things which aren't too serious
and maybe they should be out there just, you know,
coloring in pictures.
And I joke about this a lot,
but that's the reality of most Sunday schools,
they're coloring in blasphemous really pictures
of Jesus, so-called Jesus Christ, okay?
And I was at an independent Baptist church
and one of my children was a little bit outspoken
and said something about didn't Jesus wear trousers
and was basically reproved for it by,
this was like early days, okay,
I think maybe I could have traded,
it'd be a bit quieter about these things,
but they said, didn't Jesus wear trousers?
No, he didn't, they no one wore trousers then.
Funny, didn't it talk about breaches in the Bible?
And apparently not.
Hosen it talks about, apparently not.
Apparently, according to this guy,
no, those Catholic themed pictures of Jesus in a dress
are actually exactly what he looked like.
And it's somehow a good thing
to have your child coloring in pics of Jesus
in a dress with long hair.
And an independent Baptist church
that claims to believe the Bible's the word of God.
So, no, we're a family integrated church.
So we, look, we do have,
and we're gonna talk about that in a minute,
we have mother baby room, we have a father baby room.
We have, you know,
we have things for the kids to do afterwards as well.
It's not that we expect them to just be, you know,
sitting in church like the adults from one year old.
However, we're training them
to be part of the church service, okay?
Family integrated church, they're integrated.
Now, there are other reasons for that.
We're gonna talk about that in a minute.
But you're in Matthew 19.
Matthew 19 and verse 13 says,
Zen, were they brought unto him little children,
that he should put his hands on them and pray,
and the disciples rebuked them.
So the disciples here,
I believe are like those sort of overzealous ushers
and deacons in churches,
if you've ever been into those sorts of places
where they're literally trying to,
they are sometimes trying to wrestle your child off you.
Then I've been to churches like that
where you walk in there, right?
Right, children are going over there,
you go, oh, wait a second,
I've literally just come to your church.
I've never met any of you before,
but you expect me to send my child off
to some random room somewhere and to be with you.
I don't even know who.
When they have like this rotation of just,
anyone, let's get, we'll get a lady,
we'll get a guy involved this time.
Oh, they're kind of, they seem all right.
They can teach the kids at Sunday school.
I mean, the kids are important, aren't they?
Is it important what they're being taught?
You know, you want to know what they're being taught.
Yeah, how can you know what they're being taught
if it's private to where you are?
Who's responsible for those children?
Their parents, aren't they?
Who's their spiritual head?
Who's their spiritual leader, their father?
They should know what their kids are being taught, right?
Not wondering what on earth they're being taught.
And look, a lot of places,
it's amazing what they are being taught
in these places as well.
So the disciples rebuked them,
but Jesus said, suffer little children
and forbid them not to come unto me,
for of such is the kingdom of heaven.
And he laid his hands on them and departed thence.
So we want our children to be
where Jesus is in the midst, don't we?
Yeah, look, yeah, we're not all like falling down,
you know, with the spirit hitting us
and barking like dogs and,
no, but we believe that the Holy Spirit's
in this room, don't we?
Yeah, I believe the Holy Spirit's here right now
and I want the kids here
and not like tucked out somewhere else
where the word of God's not being preached,
where the Bible's not being read.
No, we want the children where Jesus Christ is as well.
We don't want them getting taught who knows what
by who knows what, do we?
And a lot of the time it gets to that
where it's who knows what is even teaching them, okay?
And look, just on that as well,
look, if you're that sort
and you're some sort of wicked person,
what sort of ministry do you think you might go into?
Because what do these people always go into?
And away from church life,
what they generally sort of jobs
that these sort of predators go into,
places with vulnerable,
just jobs with vulnerable people.
We're talking about this recently.
You name it from like care jobs to school jobs
to just where there's vulnerable people,
you will see predators.
So we don't really want to send our kids off to a place
where there's basically just all these children
and who knows who looking after them, okay?
Should be clear, should be obvious, shouldn't it?
And again, there are many reasons
that we want them in church as well,
not just for that reason.
And okay, because look, dads and where they're absent mums,
because look, there's many different situations
in our lives as it is,
are responsible for knowing
what their children are being taught, like I said,
that they're responsible, they're the spiritual head.
They should know what their children are being taught.
Because look, you might disagree
with something I preach from here, okay?
And I'm sure you do.
And I'm sure there'll be things,
hopefully not too often, but maybe often,
maybe intermittently, there's going to be things
that you're like, I don't agree with that brother, Ian.
And actually, I don't really want my kids
to come away thinking that,
because I might think that's your responsibility.
Now, obviously, it needs to be important,
because you don't want to be just constantly undermining
the preacher and go, okay, forget what you said there,
forget, because they're going to kind of
probably stop paying attention to anything.
However, if it's something you think is important,
you should go home and go, well, maybe not.
Now, there's another, and also as well,
kids don't often, not always,
kids don't often, or don't always, sorry,
don't always get the exact point sometimes
that you're preaching.
So you might, a kid listens to a sermon
and comes away and says, because I've said, look,
for example, a righteous government
should put sodomites to death.
They come away going, yeah, all sodomites,
we need to put them to death, for example.
Yeah, that stuff gets you into trouble, okay?
And obviously, we don't call for that, do we?
And things like that, sometimes, look,
it's a good idea when you come away from a service,
you've got your kids in it, to come away,
see what they understood from that service,
what they got from it.
Because I have heard, I've heard, like,
overheard kids talking, my kids talking stuff before,
and they've kind of got the wrong end
of the stick with something.
Maybe got a bit too, you know, extreme on one thing
and didn't really understand the whole context of it
or something else, yeah?
Okay, so you do want to be understanding
and correcting your kids and helping them
while they're in a service as well.
How are you going to do that
if they're in some sort of private room somewhere
and you don't even know what they're listening to,
what they're being taught, what they've heard?
And sometimes kids will only repeat certain things,
certain things go deep down into the memory,
they don't know as well.
Now, by being in church as well,
they're learning to be in a proper church service, aren't they?
Okay, and we want our kids to learn to be in a proper church.
What's our goal?
What's our goal as parents here, ultimately?
Look, we want them saved, okay, number one,
but after salvation, what's our goal with our kids?
For them to serve the Lord.
Yeah, that low children and heritage of the Lord,
we look for that in the first service,
the fruit of the womb is his reward, okay?
They're his, we're looking after them for him,
and therefore we really want them to be serving him,
don't we?
So our goal is for our children to be serving the Lord,
but they're not going to learn to serve the Lord
in the future,
because we're training up in a way they should go.
So when they're old, they don't depart from it.
They're going to learn that if their church life
from zero to, I don't know what even age they stop,
13, 14, or whatever in a Sunday school,
depending on the church,
if that's spent clapping and singing happy songs
and everything else and colouring in things
and playing games, and then suddenly,
whoa, wait a second.
This isn't what I remember church should be like.
And then what they start doing,
possibly even seeking a church like that,
or at least finding it hard
to actually sit in a church service, pay attention,
listen to the word of God and be able to do that week in,
week out, have the discipline to do that as well.
Because there's a discipline required to do that,
isn't there?
Week in, week out and just come and serve the Lord,
no matter what.
Obviously barring injury or illness or something else.
Okay, so,
we don't want them associating church
with happy clappy party time, do we?
Now, we still want them to enjoy church, okay?
But here's the thing, yeah, we come to church,
most people come to church for the day.
For the child, look,
for a child to spend an hour listening to a sermon,
other than the singing, you know,
and some announcements and other things,
it's not really a hardship, is it?
I mean, we're here, most people are here,
you know, and again, I know other people,
and again, I know other people,
not everyone can make the full day, but look,
you're probably here for about eight hours total
with soul winning and things like that, yeah?
Two hours listening to a sermon,
is that the worst thing in the world?
They can still enjoy the day, can't they?
They can still, look, we have games they can play,
they're around other kids, you can make it fun for them.
Soul winning can be fun, look,
my kids enjoy soul winning, you know,
most kids, it's pretty exciting stuff really, isn't it?
It's pretty, look, and sometimes,
maybe when they're hearing you preach the gospel
for the hundredth time, I'm not saying they're just going,
well, believe, never heard that, okay, I'm not saying that.
However, it's interesting to see the responses,
the reaction, everything else,
maybe on a cold day like this,
not quite so exciting always.
However, okay, it's not the worst hardship
to listen to a sermon, that's what we're trying to,
and they're gonna learn stuff from it.
There is part of it's gonna go in, however young.
Okay, so Paul was addressing here,
children that could understand
what he was saying, wasn't he?
Okay, that's what he was doing,
because for the family integrated model to work,
we do have to do our best to make it work.
So it's not just like, okay, right, family integrated,
all kids just come in the service, that's it,
because that's not gonna work, okay?
That won't work in the long term.
So there are things that we follow as a church
that we believe makes this model work.
Now, it's not to say that babies and toddlers
aren't welcome, okay?
They sure are welcome in our services.
However, that is a training age, okay?
That's a training age.
It's not, look, they're not gonna understand it, yeah?
We want them in the service,
we wanna get used to being in the service
and sitting there and listening
and getting used to sitting for an hour
and getting used to the, you know,
being up and down with the hymns and everything else.
However, that's the training age, okay?
So we're training our children,
which means that they're not automatically
gonna be able to sit in a service
without causing too much distraction, that's not automatic.
It's no failure for a parent, it's no,
oh man, that parent must be better
because they're whatever age child,
because it's all different age kids.
And some kids are noisier, some kids aren't.
Some kids are more sleepy at that time, some kids aren't.
And sometimes they'll be sleepy at that bit
for a little bit, and then a few months down the line,
suddenly service time is when they're most noisy,
when they're loudest, when they want the most attention.
It just changes, it's constantly changing
in everything else, okay?
So family integrated services
are not meant to sound like a day nursery.
Then we failed with the family integrated thing
because you gotta appreciate as well,
kids are important, we love kids.
They're as important as everyone else,
but they're not more important than everyone else.
So look, and everyone can vouch here,
everyone, be it a parent or not,
that when there's suddenly some kid like, you know,
running up and down or shouting or screaming out
or whatever it is, it does distract you, doesn't it?
And if that one child who can't even understand the service
has distracted 50 people sitting in the service,
who then haven't heard maybe a key point from the preacher,
then we've kind of failed a bit
with the family integrated idea, haven't we?
Okay, now it's not gonna be foolproof,
but we want to try and make it work, don't we?
So with all of that in mind,
our pastor has a list of rules
that we want everyone to follow here, okay?
This is Shaw Foundation Baptist Church.
I agree with all of these anyway,
so I don't think, you know,
if and when we're independent in the future,
I'll be like, right, scrap all that, guys.
You know, let's have a, you know,
kind of a playpen there,
and we'll have like a creche area over there
and everything else.
I agree with all of this.
So I'm gonna read it.
I have done this before.
I'm gonna read it off again,
because it is a big part of, look,
this is biblical parenting,
and a big part of parenting
is getting your children involved in church,
being part of church, being part of church life.
So let's see what our pastor's rules are,
which are the rules of this church.
Number one, parents,
and some of these are guidelines as well, okay?
Parents should be training children at home
to sit through services.
The best time is at family devotional time.
Now that, as you noticed,
just basically takes for granted
that you should have a family devotional time,
and that's a good part of training your child
from young as well.
And you might be thinking, wait a second,
like they don't even understand the gospel at this stage.
Yeah, but they are understanding
how to start serving and following God,
and what, you know,
we're trying to train them up
in the way they should go in the future.
So there should be a family devotional time,
and at that time is a good time
when you're not distracting 50 other people in the church
to train the child to sit still during that.
And look, that could be a struggle.
I mean, right now, we've got a bit of fun at home there.
Every time I get the Bible out after the meal,
that's when my little boy, James, just starts crying.
No, no, daddy, and starts crying.
You wicked frat, you know, how dare you?
Okay, but for me, I prefer that
than him doing it at church, yeah?
Probably do it at both.
But we're trying to encourage him to go,
no, look, I'm gonna understand
that when the Bible comes out, I'm gonna be quiet.
And obviously you're trying to train them up to do that, okay?
So we want to train our children.
Ideally, the bulk of the training should be at home
to understand that when the Bible's read,
when there's serious time,
when the Bible's being preached, et cetera,
that that's when they're quiet.
Number two, use the baby rooms
for the purpose of training children
to sit quiet during the church service.
So the baby rooms are there for the purpose of training them.
So rather than the baby rooms being somewhere
where, oh, I just gotta go out there,
look, some people would just call it a training room.
So if your child, you know, still needs training,
use the baby room.
Now, with that, I know someone was telling me
there might've been some sound issues then
for let me know, ladies, if there are any issues with it,
then let me know, because we want that baby room used,
and the father baby room as well.
We want it to be a place that you'll be able to use.
But it's for the purpose of training them
to sit quiet during the church service.
So ideally, if they can't sit quiet in the baby room,
then they're not gonna be able to sit quiet
in the church service, right?
Number three, parents should not train children
or calm down their children during church services
please use the baby room.
So if the child is constantly being told off,
told to shh and everything else in the service,
then obviously they're not ready to be in the service.
Now that's tough.
And some people might wanna sit through the service.
We're gonna talk about that in a minute,
because look, most of the fathers here,
sadly by myself can help out and can swap
and can give their wife sometimes a chance to stand.
We'll talk about that in a minute.
However, if they're constantly being trained in the service,
so well, they should be in the training room, right?
So the baby room is for that.
In a transitional phase, so there is a transitional phase
and look, and that transitional phase does change
by the way, so it's not, oh, at this age,
because sometimes the six week old,
seven week old just sleeps.
The two month old you see, they're like, great,
you know, I'm not saying I have to sit in that training room
until they're like three, four, whatever it is.
No, you don't have to.
But if they're causing noise and disturbance, et cetera,
and that doesn't mean they've coughed.
It doesn't mean they've whispered.
It doesn't mean that they've maybe made some small noise.
But if they're making noise, it's distracting.
Look, we should be aware, shouldn't we?
My child makes a noise and people are like,
you can see them flinching and everything,
and they're shouting out, and I know it's distracting them.
And with that, I want to think about the 50 in here,
not, you know, well, I want to sit.
No, I'm sitting here because sister so-and-so does,
or whatever else.
And we did have some competitive parenting here,
and we're not going to have that hopefully again.
Okay, so the transitional phase
where you're teaching children to sit through services,
please minimise distraction.
So there will be a stage when you're trying to teach them
to be able to sit here.
We want to minimise distractions with that,
because again, distractions.
Now, I noticed this the other day with my own child,
because look, I'm rarely sitting with the kids, okay?
So look, I've got kids of that age
which will and can do cause distractions.
So I'm sitting with my boy, Charlie,
he starts, you know, whispering or whatever else
in the service, I'm turning around,
this is during the men's preaching night,
and then I'm looking up again
and realise I completely missed that point.
And in fact, it's really hard to get back into that sermon.
Having even just that small distraction
does alert, I feel for, and often a lot of the women here,
some of the men have jobs and things in the service as well,
where it is, I understand it's hard,
it's hard to really be engaged and tuned in
and stuff like that.
That's why we're trying to train,
that's why we want to train them at home as well.
Okay, so there is that transitional phase
where we want to minimise distractions.
Parents should promptly and quickly remove,
this is number five, children from the service
as soon as they make distracting noises.
When they're screaming in the service,
people aren't listening to the preaching
because they're distracted.
That's 100% true, okay?
And then we failed at the family integrated model.
Okay, parents with babies or young children
who are more likely to need calming down
should sit near exits so you can take them out quickly.
Now, we had a bit of a struggle with this,
where at the last, especially at the last place
with former church members,
I'll be saying this almost every week,
please sit near, and then people literally walk in,
walk straight down the aisle,
sit like in one of the front rows with their young children.
And it's like, what's your problem?
Am I just saying this for my health?
And you don't want to then be going,
because then they're just trying to find fault.
He, you know, he doesn't, he's not family integrated.
He's trying to tell me that I've got to do this.
It's like, look, we're making it clear from here, yeah?
Okay, so again, look,
if you think you're going to be up and down a bit,
you should be somewhere near an exit,
ideally not in the front,
not in the middle of the rows, et cetera.
And look, I know everyone does that here.
Okay, pay, if you're coming, verse seven, sorry,
number seven, point seven.
If you're coming out of the mother baby room
more than two or three times per service,
your child may not be ready
to sit through the entire service.
Okay, so if you're like constantly in and out,
like, oh man, they're kind of getting back in.
All right, they've quietened down back out.
Well, they're just not ready yet.
They just need training more and more
until they're able to do that.
Don't expect number eight,
a nought to two year old to sit through an entire service.
Don't place unrealistic expectations
on yourself or your children.
It's unrealistic to think they're going to be in subjection
in every way, shape or form, okay?
That's a great one, isn't it?
Because there is a pressure somewhere.
Like I said, you might say,
well, one child seems to be doing well.
What's going on?
You know, I must be getting something wrong.
No, look, kids are different.
Loads of kids are different.
They're different phases.
We're looking ultimately for the long term.
We're looking for really when they're able
to understand the preaching,
that's really your goal is that that's when they're able
at least to understand parts of it.
That's when they're going to be trained up to sit in there.
So in the interim, you're going to have harder times.
You're going to have easier times.
You're going to have kids that respond quicker,
kids that don't.
Don't expect that because then you're going to feel
frustrated, et cetera, when they're not.
Number nine, begin to actively train a three-year-old
to transition from the baby room
in the Sunday evening services.
So, you know, around that three-year-old age
is a good kind of benchmark for when you're hoping.
And like I said, some will be a bit quicker than others
to be getting them out of the baby room
into the Sunday evening service.
Now, again, that's if you're doing this,
and again, this is talking to people,
a lot of people here that maybe don't even have kids
and will in the future.
For those of you to this model,
we'll look at that in a second,
it's not as simple as that.
Okay, children that are four should be expected
to sit quietly through the services
unless there's a legitimate medical reason why they can't,
because we're going to have different kids there,
kids that maybe can't do that for one reason or another,
but our goal is, okay, by the time they're four,
hopefully they're going to be able to sit through a service.
Number 11, it is appropriate for children one to two
to play quietly in the baby room.
You should not allow children of any age
to scream or yell loudly in these rooms
for long periods of time.
So that's the problem.
The mother-baby room can then be off-putting
if a child's there just screaming their heads off
and the parent is just like,
hey, whatever, they're so sweet.
They should be trying their best to calm them down.
But the one to two year old,
it's fine for them to play quietly in there.
Okay, so you're like, you better sit there and listen.
And then the two year old,
you go, what did you learn today?
They're like, ah, okay, no, they're going to play
and et cetera.
You're just trying to get them used to sitting quietly.
And obviously we don't want them yelling loudly
because it's going to obviously put off
other parents in there.
Don't allow your child to scream through the entire service
and that's in the mother-baby room.
Okay, look, you need to do something about that, obviously.
Number 13, new families to the family integrated model
should be given some time to adapt.
Suggest and bring things for children
to quietly do during church service.
No snacks, things that make a bad mess.
So don't start bringing in the arts and crafts,
all the paint and stuff, or all this food.
And some people, that's a bit of a trick that we,
I don't say trick.
Look, obviously it's nice to have your kids sitting there,
but the only way your kids are going to sit there
is if you're just feeding them food the whole time.
That's not a good thing.
Ideally you want to train them to be able to sit there
without just being fed up.
And then the church just becomes a mess
and the chairs become a mess as well, okay?
So, okay, so yeah, however, if you're new to it,
bringing in things for them to do quietly is good.
However, you don't really want your four, five, six,
seven year old just sitting there,
just like colouring away, reading books, et cetera,
because that's not the point.
It's not like, oh, we're family integrated,
so the kids are just completely distracted doing something,
but at least they're quiet.
That's not the idea.
The idea is that they're listening to the preaching,
shock, horror and horror preaching, yeah.
They get used to it, okay?
They get used to it.
Okay, number 14, parents should not be holding
long conversations in the mother-baby room
or sitting on their phones.
Don't come to church to take a nap.
Set the example to the other parents and children.
Show some respect as you should have during the services.
If you're setting a bad example, the children will follow.
If you tell them something you don't follow,
then they'll feel, why should I do it if you don't?
So obviously, you know, we don't have that problem here,
but you can imagine with some where the mother-baby room
just turns into this sort of chat fest
and they're not even listening or anything,
and then you're like, why is my child not, you know,
just wants to chat throughout the service?
Well, probably because they're getting used to,
they're seeing their parent chat throughout service.
Number 15, children after sitting through a long service
should be allowed to play,
and that's something we need to remind ourselves of,
because it's easy to go like, right, you've done that,
right, now you need to sit still
because mommy or daddy's talking.
Look, they've literally just sat still for a whole hour.
If they have, great, you know, they should be able to play,
but without being too rambunctious, he says.
Obviously, we have a no running, in fact,
number 16 is train your children not to run in the church,
but we're training them.
They're going to get that wrong, son.
It doesn't mean you failed, okay?
Childrunners, remember to tell them,
ideally, you don't want someone else to have to tell them,
but the kids should get used to that,
but they should be able to play after the service
to some degree.
At number 17, dads help the moms
and give them a chance to sit through the services.
Allow your wife to listen to some of the preaching too.
Your wives need to hear the preaching too.
Now, there are different views on that.
Look, I think, you know, that's good if you can do that.
Ultimately, you are the spiritual leader,
so I do believe that you should be listening
and being able to then, you know,
to be the person that they come to
and ask for it to be explained.
However, it is nice for the mom sometimes
to be able to do that, and that's up to you,
that, you know, how you want to do that
as the heads of your family.
Okay, there's some good rules,
and I didn't go for the last few just general rules.
They're the ones of family integrated church.
So, Paul addressed the children in this letter,
like we just saw, and the one to the Colossian church as well,
because he expected them to be there
listening to the letter being read, didn't he?
But no one would have heard the letter
if it had just been a free-for-all either, okay?
So, if it had just been this,
the kids were just swinging off the lights,
and, you know, and everyone was just,
babies are just screaming and yelling and everything else,
no one would have heard the letter, okay?
So, the idea was that they're being trained
to be able to hear the letter, okay?
Because, look, hopefully they're being trained up
the way that they should go.
So, biblical parenting, young children,
okay, number one with children
should be getting trained for real church, okay?
That's our goal.
That's a big part of what we're training them for
is to be servants of God,
so they need to be getting trained for real church,
to be able to sit there and grow and learn
and be a part of the church service.
Look down at Ephesians 6 again,
and we'll look at those first few verses again,
where it says,
children, obey your parents in the Lord,
for this is right.
Honor thy father and mother,
which is the first commandment with promise,
that it may be well within that
thou mayest live long on the earth,
and ye fathers,
provoke not your children to wrath,
but bring them up in the nurture and admonition
of the Lord.
So, for children to obey and honor their parents,
to not be full of anger towards them especially as well,
you could say,
they need the nurture and admonition of the Lord,
don't they?
Now, many of us would have looked at this verse
and seen it as a sort of chalk and cheese.
I'm sure many have just looked at it and thought,
yeah, like nurtures love admonitions,
like brutal savage beatings, yeah?
But that's not really what that's saying,
because what those words really mean,
well, the Webster's dictionary for nurture,
because we don't see this word anywhere else in scripture,
is that which nourishes food or diet,
that which promotes growth, education, instruction,
and the more modern dictionary.com says,
for the noun nurture,
rearing, upbringing, training, education or the like,
development, something that nourishes nourishment food.
So, nurturing for me is rearing, growing,
educating, instructing, and also nourishing too, okay?
It's a whole package.
It's not just, oh yeah, nurture,
that's kind of just like cuddles and love,
ooh, diddums, you know?
No, it's a whole thing.
You're educating them, you're nourishing them,
you're instructing them, you're educating them.
What about admonition?
Well, admonition is used elsewhere in the Bible,
and I believe that it does kind of match up with this
to some degree.
Admonition, gentle reproof,
counselling against a full instruction in duties,
caution, direction.
So, it's not just the discipline side.
Now, you could add discipline.
We do see it used in terms of discipline,
you know, admonish him as a brother,
and heretic off the first and second admonition, reject, yeah?
So, that is being reproved, rebuked, you could say as well.
I don't think it's always completely gentle,
yet it's not just punishment.
There is counsel with it.
There is caution, there is direction.
Dictionary.com says an act of admonishing,
counsel advice or caution, a gentle reproof,
a warning or reproof given by an ecclesiastical authority.
So, admonition, like I say, gentle reproof,
counsel, caution, telling off, a warning with an explanation,
including discipline as well.
But for me, look, what this is saying is that
we need to bring up our children in rearing, growing,
educating, instructing and nourishing,
along with the telling off, the warnings,
the discipline with it.
So, biblical parenting young children,
number one with children should be getting trained
for real church, that's a principle I see in this passage,
and principle number two is young children
should be brought up in the nurture and admonition
of the Lord, okay?
Pretty simple.
So, what does that mean?
Because if nurture and admonition is all this education,
some discipline, all these things, is that, you know,
just well, pack them off to nursery and then school?
No, because there's an extra part of that verse
and it was of the Lord.
It was a nurture and admonition of the Lord.
And there's very little that's of the Lord
in our state regulated education system, okay?
There's very little that's of the Lord.
Now, before I preach this, let's just make it clear
that I do appreciate there are many different circumstances
of many people.
And this is one of those ones where people can get
a bit kind of, I don't know if that strain is where,
that people can get holier than now with this.
Maybe look, they've managed to work things out
where they can homeschool and maybe someone else can't
for one reason or another, okay?
And that's not really our business.
I'm gonna preach what I believe the word of God says,
but that's for individual families with that
and how it can work, if it can work in their situations.
However, it was the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
And like I said, there is very little of the Lord,
isn't there, in what is now a school.
And this gets worse and worse as the years go by.
So maybe many years ago, you could have said,
well, it wasn't so bad and certain schools weren't so bad.
I mean, we're like off the wall now, okay?
And before we get into any of the like L-G-B-T-Q-R-S-T-U-H-I-V,
whatever nonsense they come up with next, okay?
Before we even get into that, there's plenty more,
which is completely not of the Lord
by sending your child off to school.
You've got all of this weird new age mindfulness meditation
now being promoted in all these schools.
They're in a lot of primary schools now.
They're basically going, right,
we've got like mindfulness week
and we're just gonna keep getting the kids to just sit there
and meditate on this or that.
And it's, what on earth?
You know, what are you teaching my child?
They try and get them into some form of yoga
at a lot of schools as well.
This is false religion.
This is pushing false religion
in what claim to be secular schools.
In fact, they'll even do this
in so-called Christian schools as well.
The big bang nonsense propaganda, yeah?
Everywhere, isn't it?
And they're being pushed apart.
And you could go, well, don't matter, I'll teach them.
Yeah, I'll just teach them, you know, creation from home.
However, when it's getting hammered and hammered and hammered
kids can easily start to think, well,
if they, you want them to respect their teacher, don't you?
Yeah, you want them to respect adults,
respect the people that are teaching them.
They're not going to do very well at school.
Yeah, you're getting them to respect their teacher
and then go, however,
half of what they say is a load of baloney.
Okay, that's kind of quite confusing for them.
Maybe they'll start respecting that teacher too much
and start to go, well, maybe there's some truth in that.
And look, I'm sure, hopefully you got them saved.
That's one thing, but believing every word of God
is a bit different, isn't it, sometimes?
And believing the truths of the Bible
and not trying to find a gap theory or something else
because Mr. or Mrs. so-and-so at school
seems so nice and so intelligent and so clever.
They must be right, yeah?
The race shaming.
I mean, that's big in school right now.
Just race shaming and race division
and causing division through race.
It's just constant, isn't it?
I remember a history teacher on you
telling me that there's,
she was a secondary school history teacher,
said there's only two events
that a school has to teach in school.
So the history department gets some leeway.
They could choose, oh, we want to teach, you know,
for example, the battle of Hastings.
Oh, we want to teach this, or we want to teach that.
But there's two events they have to teach.
This was several years ago, I don't know
if this is still the case.
The Holocaust, Holocaust, sorry, yeah?
And the slave trade.
Two events, forget, you know, everything else, don't matter,
but those two events, we better hammer them with it.
Hammer them and hammer them and hammer them
with these two things.
And what you do, you're just creating
all this race division, all this stuff.
That's not what the Bible says, does it?
Yeah, we're all of one blood, aren't we?
But it just wants to hammer it and hammer it and hammer it.
Sex education.
I mean, it is wicked at what age
and what sort of stuff they're teaching kids in school.
Absolutely horrendous.
And you could go, okay, no, no,
because I'll remove them out of that.
No, no, don't worry, because they've warned me
when it's coming, I'll remove them.
Remove them?
What do you think's getting talked about
in the playground the next day?
In the next day?
In the next?
In fact, think about all the stuff they're talking about.
Forget what they're being taught in the school.
What's being taught in the playground?
Because there are around 30 other kids,
at least just from their class,
and those kids aren't being raised how your kids are.
I hope your kids are.
Those kids are sitting there
watching all sorts in the evening,
looking at all sorts, hearing all sorts around,
you know, all sorts of wickedness.
And what do you think they're talking about
in the playground?
Oh, they always just talk about, you know,
nice and pure stuff.
You know, they're just going to talk about,
and they do, because I know,
because I know, because my kids were schooled
in the first part of their life.
They're at school and they're coming back,
coming back with stories and things.
But it's great, and that's from a young age as well,
let alone as they get older.
But yeah, the sex education, what is that about?
The bullying that goes on in schools.
Look, you kind of have two options
a lot of the time in school.
You either get bullied or you bully.
Pretty, I mean, it's a bit of generalization,
but that's kind of, you're somewhere in between.
Do you either get bullied at school or you bully,
or you get involved and you just basically
get part of the gang.
You either conform to the bullies or you get bullied.
Now in the bullying, you might get off lightly,
or you might not.
And, you know, people go,
oh, but they're just so, you know, socially,
you know, they've got to be around, like,
hundreds of kids of their own age
to socially improve in life.
What a nonsense.
I see, look, a lot of kids that come out of school system
find it really hard,
because it's such an unnatural environment
where you say the wrong word
and you've got like 30 kids laughing at you.
You know, you say something the wrong way,
and they just start conforming often,
or it's a hard time for a lot of kids.
The peer pressure with all sorts of wickedness.
Abuse, abuse goes on at schools.
A lot, look, I can tell you a lot of stories,
not just from my school, from kids that I've coached
telling me the stuff that goes on in their schools
and things that go on.
The exposure to alcohol and drug abuse in school.
Yeah, it goes on in school.
Alcohol and drug abuse going on in school.
And that is a gauntlet, isn't it, for a kid to...
Is that the nurture and admonition of the Lord?
That doesn't sound like a nurture and admonition of the Lord.
That sounds like a gauntlet of the devil.
And then once they're there, this is the funniest bit,
you can't even remove them for a holiday without permission.
It's bizarre, isn't it?
It's like, I've sent you to school,
I could have homeschooled you,
but I've sent you to school for whatever reason,
and having these things work out in life,
but now I'm not allowed to take you out and go on holiday
without getting permission from the headmaster
who often will say no.
Whose kid is it?
If you decide, no, actually, they don't need to be at school
because I think a holiday with the family
is more important right now, no, tough.
You've got to ask permission.
I mean, you've basically just given over the rights
of your kids to some degree, haven't you?
Okay, crazy.
Then you have all of the propaganda
trying to normalise all sorts of things
which the Lord says is an abomination.
That is big in schools right now, big.
I mean, there was a school near where I used to live,
which up until recently when I was still,
where I was last in the area,
had a big rainbow flag flying above the school.
And you live in that area,
and it's a lottery, isn't it, postcode lottery.
That's the school you've got to send your kid to,
a school with a rainbow flag flying above.
And what's being taught there?
And in all of them, propaganda, propaganda, propaganda
about a wicked, vile, not just sin, but way of life,
which is indicative of the fact
that you've been given over to a reprobate mind
being taught in schools as if it's not only normal,
but actually quite a cool thing.
And there are kids in schools, by all accounts,
even pretending to be like that,
at least wanting to be like that
because it gets them some sort of attention
and kudos and everything, it's nuts.
And look, that definitely is not of the Lord, is it?
Because the Lord says it is an abomination,
and they which do such things are worthy of death.
Not what you want your kids being taught
and trained up in and everything else.
Okay, so therefore, obviously,
I hope I've kind of done quite a good case
of proving that the school system, if you can avoid it,
does not do because it's not of the Lord.
That's not the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
But then how does the nurture and admonition of the Lord
look for this one to five-year-old age range?
And you might be looking, go, wait a second, brother.
You went a bit old there, did you go off target there?
Well, no, because it's a funny old country we live in
where they're trying to get you to start sending them off,
not only to school from four years old, it seems,
am I right, four years old, isn't it?
That also, you've got to start applying.
If you don't want to end up in the worst possible of that,
not just the rainbow flag,
but like rainbow parades and everything else,
you want to try and select a school,
you need to get on there early, yeah?
And for some of them, it's like the only one,
it's like, and this is what people do,
they're like, man, the best one's going to be
the little C of E village school.
That's got the best Ofsted results.
But I'm not C of E.
I'm going to have to start going to the C of E church.
And this is what people do.
Go to the C of E church and listen to the false prophet
there for half many weeks until they'll tick you off
for C of E and then you can leave and never go back.
And that's, they know that this happens.
That's what happens.
Same with the Catholic, little private Catholic,
or not even private,
the little Catholic school somewhere as well.
The private ones are like, they just want your money.
You can go in there, you can be any sort of religion
under the sun as long as you pay the cash, yeah?
The problem is all the state schools.
So, okay, so you need to get on it early
if you're going to do it.
But then before that, it's nursery, isn't it?
And it goes from one to the other.
And then the peer pressure's there from the nursery.
It's like, well, what school are you going to
from this nursery?
All the friends are going to this school.
So your kid's at nursery
and suddenly you're feeling that pressure
and they're going, I want to go with little whoever
to this school, you know, and everything else.
And then you're sort of, the heartstrings are being tugged
and everything else.
But look, that starts young.
I mean, they're giving you free nursery hours.
They're like, how many is it?
Anyone know how many it is nowadays?
There's like 20 hours or something they go,
like 20 hours of free nursery time.
Just get those mums into the workplace
and get those kids into state regulated education system.
Early, offstead, offstead regulated.
It's all offstead regulated.
That's government regulated child care stroke education
because the brainwash starts early with that.
Because part of it, and I've talked about this before,
part of the offstead regulation is British values.
Oh, well, yeah, no, we need to have some British values.
Will you?
Patriotic British types.
Least that nursery adheres to British values.
Yeah, British values.
What are British values though?
Well, part of British values is
that there's no discrimination against what?
Because they always lump it in together race.
Yeah, yeah, good, good, good.
Yeah, and sexual orientation.
So basically an offstead regulated child care or nursery
has to adhere to British values,
which is training kids in no discrimination
against something which God says is an abomination
and the children of the devil.
From young, they're coaching this stuff
because they have to prove that there's no discrimination
in their offstead regulated nursery.
So you see how messed up the whole thing is, right?
And they want you getting the kids in there.
You'll get the pressure from the family.
Shouldn't they go and play with other kids at nursery?
You poor little things.
They're really missing out.
They're missing out on all that nasty,
thick, green snot all over every toy.
They're missing out on it.
They're missing out.
You know, in their faces by all those kids
that have been dosed up on drugs before they go in there
so the parent can still get to work.
They've already had too many days off.
It's like, dose them up, more and more cow pork.
Get in there.
A kid like five minutes later, an hour later,
it's all over your kid.
You idiot.
That's what goes on there.
Yeah, but they're like,
your kid needs to be that poor little thing.
They must be so lonely.
How did children survive
for most of the history of mankind?
Only they didn't.
And by the way, this is all very recent
in the history of mankind stuff.
School system's very recent.
Before them parents taught their kids.
Okay, so where are we?
Right, so we're looking at the one to five year old
age range, aren't we?
Okay, so nurturing, we saw is rearing, growing,
educating, instructing and also nourishing too.
So let's have a little look at nurturing.
Now, formal education, like I said,
it starts at different ages in different nations.
I mean, they say in Scandinavia,
it's kind of like six, seven onwards.
Okay, here it's more like four years old
and everyone's kind of got their own ideas
and trying to like find their best way of, you know,
getting those kids to pass those exams.
So what they usually do is just make the exams
easier and easier so we can just prove we're doing it right.
Anyway, okay, that's up to you.
So if you're at home, if you're sitting here
or maybe in the future, you look back at this sermon
or think back at it, you go, yeah, okay, yeah, I get it.
Yeah, lights of the Lord, I'm going to try and homeschool.
You know, thanks for this.
You know, I've got a chance to do that
because many people, look, many of us like,
we didn't really necessarily have that conviction
or other things from earlier on.
Okay, so you're like, okay, I've got a young child here,
that's what I want to do.
What age do you start?
Well, that's up to you really, isn't it?
But here's the thing, the formal education is one thing,
but you're informally educating your child
from young anyway, aren't you?
Education starts from birth really, doesn't it?
It starts from a baby at least,
like you're teaching them about dangers
from young, aren't you?
Trying to keep them away from the plug sockets,
from playing with the lamps, from whatever else it is,
from the staircase, maybe from young,
trying to keep them away from falling down the stairs,
hot things, et cetera.
You could probably think of many, many things.
So look, you're going to start from young anyway.
You're educating them,
and it's a lifelong process really, isn't it?
You're just going to be educating your kids.
When you start the formal part,
we're going to look at that next week
about the actual curriculums
and different ways of homeschooling and everything else.
But we're talking about the one to five.
Many will wait till five.
Some won't, but just remember it's not a competition
because everyone in life gets competitive
about stuff at times.
We want to try not to.
Remember it's a nurture and admonition of the Lord.
It's of the Lord.
I get a feeling that the Lord's not trying to compete,
you know, going,
well, I'm going to get our kids in earlier
than the devil's kids on the education.
They're going to get the high grades.
You know, he's not like that, is he?
And we want to do it as God wants.
We just want to do what we think is best for our kids.
Some kids you'll notice,
and you generally find girls are generally a bit easier
at sitting down and learning.
Boys are a bit more like they've got ants in their pants.
And sometimes it's like you're banging your head
against the wall trying to sit down a young child
to formally learn this and that.
And I'm going to make it like school.
They're going to sit there for hours.
And it's like, he's just distracted looking at this.
They get the spider on the wall.
Okay, so you know,
you've got to basically do it individually, don't you?
And there's no, don't be pressured.
Well, sister so-and-so,
they've got their like two-year-olds reading.
You know, oh man, it doesn't matter.
Okay, it doesn't matter, okay?
So we're training them from young, aren't we?
So that one to five age range,
at least there's informal schooling, okay?
And with that as well, look,
all of that stuff that you're warning them about,
that is important.
I know I preached a little while ago,
and I'm going to rehash it all on helicopter pen.
How wicked it is that term itself.
Like somehow it's like a mockery to be around your kids,
to care about your kids.
And like, you're kind of hovering over them.
Oh no, little Johnny's trying to walk
and he's not yet two, you know, something like,
but it's a mockery, isn't it?
And what it's meant to do is make you not care
about your kids, okay?
And obviously there's a line to get with it,
but we're doing it of the Lord
and you have to turn there.
But 2 Samuel 22, three says,
the God of my rock in him will I trust.
He is my shield and the hold of my salvation,
my high tower and my refuge, my savior,
thou savest me from violence.
So the Lord who we're trying to typify here
and we're trying to follow his example with his children,
he seems to want to try and keep us safe, doesn't he?
He helps us, he's a protection for us.
And yeah, he gives us a bit of,
he doesn't wrap us in cotton wool the whole time.
And as we grow and mature,
he'll expose us to more than maybe
when we were new babes in Christ.
However, he does protect us, doesn't he?
We want to put, there's nothing cool about,
you know, my little one,
I don't care when they've got their fingers near plugs,
they're going to learn, you know, my little baby,
they're going to learn, you know,
once they try and climb to the top of this tree
that they can't get down, so they don't fall.
They'll just learn, that's not cool.
That's retarded, okay?
Obviously we want to get this right.
So there's a balance, isn't there?
And we need to get that balance.
So part of nurture though, as well,
and something else that starts from this sort of age
is nourishment.
It's nourishment.
What we feed our children, okay?
That's important, isn't it?
Okay, it's important.
Now, there are people, sadly,
and I've noticed this a lot in life,
and I've always been interested in this subject,
there are people that are more concerned
about what their dog eats than their children.
There are.
There are people that are like,
you know, we'll have this and the kids, whatever, you know,
let the kids eat something.
As long as they just shut up, you know?
But is that nourishment?
Is that nurturing a child?
No, now, here's a kind of good rule of thumb with that.
The earlier that you get your children eating real food
and a variety of it, the easier it is, okay?
And look, you know,
some people get a bit confused with this.
I remember a little boy that Jack knew
and his parents basically said,
they went, okay, what's his name?
Rocco, Rocco, was it?
He said, Jack's nodding here, okay?
He said, they said,
thing with Rocco is there's only two things he'll eat,
dairy milk buttons and jam sandwiches.
Just doesn't like anything else.
Now, I would argue that that is a bit of a failure.
It's not that poor little Rocco
who's just got these bizarre taste buds
that will only do, just can't work it out.
I just don't know why Rocco only likes
dairy milk buttons and jam sandwiches.
And funnily enough, Rocco is like this sickly looking lad
who's always off school.
Oh, what a surprise.
Because you've allowed Rocco to reject
all other types of food and only have these two things.
That's all you need.
Doesn't like pizza, only likes jam sandwiches
and dairy milk buttons, okay?
I'm not trying to advocate pizza here,
but he just didn't like any, even pizza he didn't like.
Okay, so, because what people get confused is
by when a child's trying to like push their own will
and trying to be stubborn
and children go through that stage pretty early
and they don't like the look of that,
that bit doesn't look so exciting, that doesn't one
and they're like, must just be their taste buds.
They must just not like any green things.
Bizarre, is it?
Just, you know, even though they taste different,
they just must not like anything that's green.
No, it's just that things that are green
don't necessarily taste as exciting as the sweet things
and all those things with artificial flavourings
and stuff you've been given them
and now they don't want the things that are green.
Now you're allowing them not to have it
and then yeah, they do start to dislike it
because they're not used to eating it, okay?
So, I don't know if stubborn's the right word,
but you kind of, as a parent,
I believe you need to be a bit strong with this from young.
Look, I've had standoffs, yeah?
We've had like Mexican standoffs with our kids
for, it's gone up to a couple of hours, okay?
With things, with certain vegetables
where you're like, you're finishing your plate
and what's funny is when they're really young,
you can say to them, you know, they'll be like,
I'm full, I'm full, something along these lines.
I'm, you know, I don't want any more.
And then you go to them, oh, well, that's a shame
because we're going to have dessert.
You must be full.
Oh, I'm not full up, you little liar.
There's no dessert, I want something else.
You're kind of messing with them a bit, okay?
Just go, what are you playing tricks?
Yeah, but the truth is, is that, look, they canny.
They're not full.
They will eat if you're making me.
And I've served it up for breakfast.
Yeah, I've served it up for breakfast.
I've served up the cold meal from the night before
and gone, you won't be eating anything else
until you finish that, okay?
But you know what happens is they get to a point
where they enjoy it all
because you've allowed their taste buds,
have all these different foods,
not allowed their stubborn little ways
to rule you and control you.
And suddenly they're eating just a variety of food.
And look, because it's not their taste buds,
it's just you allowing them to be fussy.
Now, obviously, as they get older,
they're going to start to develop more likes and things.
But when they're young, look,
there's nothing offensive about food, is there?
It's not offensive.
So we're talking about the nurture of the Lord.
So you might be sitting there going, okay,
well, nurture of the Lord.
What's the biblical diet then, Brother Ian?
You know, what do you feed a kid?
What do you feed a kid?
Well, I would just say as God-given as possible,
because a lot of people, they like to get, you know,
everyone loves to push a diet fad.
No, everyone loves to go, I've got the way,
I've got the solution or something else.
But really all we're trying to do is for our kids,
especially want to start them off on the right track,
don't you, part of it's, look,
if anyone thinks that you are what you eat
is a good principle.
In fact, I used to go further than this.
So when I used to coach this stuff,
you are what you drink.
You are what you drink.
Because a lot of people are just having the salad
and, you know, the lean meat while glugging back
like pints of Coke or something else, yeah,
or whatever it is.
Look, you are what you eat and you drink, okay?
But it does make a big difference.
It makes a difference to you being able to fight off germs,
to you being healthy,
to you being able to be healthy in the long-term as well.
Because if you train a kid up on junk food,
they're going to eat junk food when they're older as well.
And it makes a big difference.
Same with the drinks as well.
Every time they drink, it's not,
it has to be some sort of fizzy, you know,
artificially flavoured full drink.
That's what they're just,
they're going to stop liking other things
because they adapt to that, okay?
So you don't have to go too,
some people go the other way where they're like,
my child doesn't have any of that.
No, keep that away from my kid.
And look, if someone offers your kid something
and they haven't got some sort of an allergy or intolerance,
it's not the end of the world is the odd one off.
But look, as your regular is what you give someone,
it's the same with anything, isn't it?
Same with yourself.
You're just eating junk all day.
You feel pretty rubbish, aren't you?
Same with kids, yeah.
And by the way, you do see their behaviour change, okay?
That ain't a myth.
Look, any of us here ate a bag of Haribo.
If I ate a bag of Haribo or something like that
before I talk, before I preach from the Bible,
look, I'd be feeling it.
My eyes would be like this.
I'd be like getting a bit like head rushy
and everything else.
I'd probably be like really all over the place
with all my hands would be even more wild.
Okay, because it does affect us.
Do we think that it's any different with the kids?
It's more so with the kids.
The reason that so many kids aren't
is because they become so nullified to it, haven't they?
They become so conditioned by sadly so much junk food
because so much is anger to kids, isn't it?
So part of that is, no, so we were saying
part of that is obviously part of nurture is nourishment.
What's the biblical diet?
Just what God gives, he said, look,
it started with obviously what grew, yeah?
Okay, and food and plants and grain and things like that.
And then it continued with me.
But he didn't go and whatever else
someone can make in a lab.
You know, it didn't, oh well, extract a bit of this,
you know, kind of mutate it in this way,
add a little bit of this sort of flavoring and that
from who knows what, you know, shove it all together
and that's what you should be eating.
He didn't say that, did he?
And look, and again, we don't have to go overboard.
Some people go really overboard
and they start getting holier than now with this sort of thing.
We don't do that.
But with our kids especially,
we just want to feed them natural food, don't we?
Food as God's given it.
You know, it doesn't mean it has to be raw,
that people are cooking stuff from earlier in the Bible.
It just means we don't really,
the majority of what they eat
shouldn't just be a lot of junk nonsense, okay?
Because you're going to end up with unhealthy kids
and you're going to end up with sickly kids because of that.
And we should be nurturing as the Lord would, yeah?
The nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Now, alongside nurture is admonishment.
That's telling the kids off, correcting them,
and I better hurry up.
Okay, so let's go back to Ephesians chapter six verse one,
which said,
children, obey your parents in the Lord,
for this is right.
Now, kids need correcting from a young age, yeah?
Turn to Proverbs 13.
How do we do that?
Do we put them on the naughty step?
Is that how you correct your child?
It might work from a young age.
Maybe like one or two times, okay?
It quickly, you know, it quickly goes sour.
I've witnessed this a lot.
It doesn't seem to do the trick.
Do we ask them nicely to behave?
Is that the way that you need to,
if only, if you just ask them,
if you get down on all fours and you're at their level,
then they'll behave.
No, that doesn't work either.
Do we emotionally blackmail them?
Anyone been around the emotional blackmailing parents?
Anyone seen these types?
Yeah, I've been around a few of these.
Mummy's very upset now.
You've upset Mummy, you know that one.
Or even worse, you've upset Ian, or whoever it is.
You've upset them now and you're like,
I'm not really upset yet.
I don't really want to get involved here.
Like, look, if they don't want to say sorry,
deal with that in your own time, you know, whatever it is.
You know, and it's like, I don't think that's the way either.
And look, sometimes the telling off is enough.
So it's not, oh, right, right, the modern reproof, right,
thrashing, you know, they did say,
did I just give him a spanking look?
Sometimes the telling off is enough, you know,
kids will respond to a telling off.
Okay, there is reproof, there is rebuke, yeah?
And God reproves and rebukes and chastises, okay?
It's not just chastisement, is it?
And sometimes that reproof does it.
We don't all need chastisement for everything, do we?
Sometimes you hear the word of God preached from the pulpit,
or maybe you read the word of God in your home reading time,
you're like, yeah, actually I've got that wrong, okay?
And it's, God didn't give you a whooping, okay?
And thank God he doesn't give us a whooping for everything,
because if he did, we'd be getting whoopings
all day, every day, wouldn't we?
And we don't need to be like that with parents.
It's the natural ammunition of the Lord, isn't it?
However, with that in mind, the Western mainstream
is seriously away with the fairies on this, okay?
They're in like this just like kind of parallel universe,
where somehow thousands of years of children being chastised
and up until very recent history is just written off
because some childless psychologist, not a child psychologist,
a childless psychologist usually, has come up with a better idea.
And what could go wrong? What could go wrong?
I mean, in fact, that childless psychologist
is so convincing, let's just ban it.
I mean, let's just make it, I mean, who cares
if parents want to make their own decisions
as to how they should train the children.
Forget that, let's just make it illegal.
I mean, they've done that in Wales.
They've done that in Wales, haven't they?
Is it Wales? Yeah.
Scotland as well, haven't they?
What a wicked bunch, eh?
Like, how do you do that?
Amazing, isn't it?
Okay, so they're obviously way off with this
because there is literally centuries of parenting
that they've written off on the back
of these childless psychologist studies
and they're biased studies, okay?
They're always biased studies, aren't they?
When you look into them, you can even see
through the bias on it.
But we don't really rely on that, do we?
Because we have the Word of God.
Okay, we have the Word of God.
Now, obviously, look, you want to look in the study.
Some people love a study.
Some parents love a study.
They love to kind of act like they're just,
you know, I've just looked at all these studies,
so I must know best, you know?
People are going to get really competitive
with this sort of stuff.
However, if the Word of God says one thing,
I don't really care what a study says
because it's never going to trump the Word of God.
And the Word of God tells us to bring them up
in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Well, the Lord commands us to punish.
He commands us to punish children, okay?
That's how we raise children
in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Proverbs 13, 24, did you turn to Proverbs 13?
Verse 24 says,
He that spareth his rod hateth his son,
but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Now, betimes is early, before it's too late.
Okay, let's talk about smacking the bottoms.
Okay, let's talk about smacking their bottoms.
The Bible says that those that don't chastise properly
hate their child.
Now, you might think, look, this is a bit extreme.
I know a lot of parents
that don't smack their child's bottom,
they don't chastise,
yet do they really hate their child?
Well, say my young child
keeps sticking his fingers in the plug socket
and every time I move him away,
he just goes back there.
And in fact, I go out in the room
and he just goes back there,
he just finds it fascinating
and he's learning to try and switch it on
and he's trying to shove things in it and stuff like that.
It would be pretty loving to give him a smack bottom
so that he understands that doing that
results in some brief, temporary pain.
Like, that would be...
Look, life is full of pain.
In fact, a lot of us, as we get older,
we realise that it's not so brief and temporary either.
You just start to live more and more pain
and sometimes it's getting up in the morning,
you're like, I'm in a bit of pain, yeah?
Let's just live, OK?
Brief, temporary pain on an area which, you know,
is pretty padded and pretty designed for that
isn't a bad thing, is it?
And it's much better than them electrocuting themselves.
And you could think of many, many other ways.
If I didn't do that and I'm like,
well, I just couldn't do that,
I just couldn't upset little Johnny, you know,
let's just let them keep shoving their fingers
in the plug socket instead.
I mean, that would be pretty hateful, wouldn't it?
That wouldn't be loving.
And you could think of that with many, many other examples.
Say they keep messing with the neighbour's dog.
The neighbour's got some snarling pit bull or something,
you know, and they're just like, keep running over,
trying to grab its tail and everything else.
Look, I think not leaving them to it,
trying to sit down and go,
no, you know the dog doesn't like you grabbing its tail.
You know, shoving your fingers in its ears.
That's not really a loving thing to do, is it?
That'd be pretty hateful because really you're just going,
well, I just don't want to come across
as one of those sorts of parents
because the world says that's uncool.
You know, that's like really old-fashioned.
You know, I'm too modern and hip to be like that, you know.
I could pretend I'm so loving
because I wouldn't punish my child.
You liar, you clown.
Really, all you're doing is basically leaving that child
to probably a much worse fate than having a smack bottom, OK?
Smack bottom sensible.
And they understand that, don't they?
Understand that more than you're trying to reason with them.
OK, so what about if it's a sin that would ruin their life?
How about it's a sin that would...
Look, it's habit forming from young, yes?
There are sins that will ruin kids' lives, yeah?
That will ruin their childhood at least.
Wouldn't it be sensible to give them a smack bottom?
Or do we just kind of leave them to it?
That's hateful.
It's loving to try and correct them
and try and help them to live a successful, happy life
and to try and get rid of that sin.
Proverbs 19 and verse 18, Proverbs 19 and verse 18,
also gives this sense of urgency
that we just saw about chasing them to times.
It says,
OK, so that's early before it's too late.
Now, this isn't necessarily talking about sobs of pain, OK?
How about the child that just cries in anticipation of punishment?
No, I've got kids who are like that.
You tell them they're going to get a smack bottom
and they'll cry.
It's not even that you're thinking,
what are these smack bottoms like?
No one can say, no, what to do?
They think this is going to get me out of it, et cetera.
Let not thy soul spare for their crying, OK?
Because ultimately it's for their own good.
OK, so when is betimes, though?
When is while there is hope?
It says, chase the soul while there is hope.
What's this talking about?
Well, Proverbs 23 helps solve this.
Proverbs 23 and verse 13 says, Proverbs 23, 13,
Withhold not correction from the child,
for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
Thou shalt beat him with the rod and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
Now, just to make it clear, beat here isn't talking about some savage beating, OK?
It's to strike, it's a strike, yeah?
How does it deliver his soul from hell?
Well, receiving punishment, repercussions for our behaviour,
helps us to accept God's eternal punishment for sin, doesn't it?
So there are many, there are kids out there that don't really,
or there are people out there that don't really believe they need a saviour
because they don't really have never experienced repercussion for sin.
Look, I'm not saying this is like a carbon rule,
if you never got chastised, that's it, you can't get saved.
I'm not saying that.
However, it does say here that your delivery is soul from hell.
You're going to deliver their soul from hell
because you're ultimately going to teach them that there are repercussions.
Therefore, they're more likely to believe...
Because there are people, when you try to show them hell,
they're like, oh, I couldn't believe that.
You know, I couldn't believe that God would do that.
And so often, loads of the same people,
when you're talking about chastise with children and stuff like that,
they're just like, well...
You go, it's funny, you ever done this when you preach your door?
You go, well, what would I do if my kid does that?
And they go, you would tell them very nicely
that that's not a good thing to do.
You know, just anything smashed through your front window,
what are you talking about?
Wouldn't you punish them?
Anyway, there are people that just, you know,
they've gone so far out with this, haven't they?
However, when you beat them with the rock, when you chastise them,
and it's said, talk about chastising them betimes,
chastising them while there is hope,
look, a child needs to be chastised,
for me, that's before then they can understand,
they're old enough to understand the gospel.
And for me, look, you know, it obviously increases with age,
but from a young age, look,
if that's going to help keep them safe
and that's going to stop them doing something,
there's nothing wrong with that.
You decide what you think that age is.
But for me, it's early, it's betimes, it's while there is hope,
and that's long before they're going to be getting saved, okay,
because it's to deliver their soul from hell.
Now, obviously at this early age, it's sort of, you know,
for me, this one to five age, I don't believe they're sinners, okay?
The chastising helps get them saved once they are.
So when we're first born, we're alive, aren't we?
We're without sin, we have no knowledge between good and evil.
David said of his baby that had just died,
and I'm going to try and go through this quickly,
2 Samuel 12-23,
But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast?
Can I bring him back again?
I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.
Now, David was saved, he knew where he was going, didn't he?
And where that baby had gone, okay?
He knew where that baby had gone.
So this is obviously a newborn baby, okay?
We reject, we strongly reject this nonsense out there
that babies are somehow going to hell.
That's nonsense, okay?
David said, I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.
Now, in Deuteronomy 1, you can go there if you like,
Deuteronomy chapter 1,
Moses is telling them how God won't let basically him and Moses
into the promised land.
And he says this, he says in verse 32,
so this is Deuteronomy chapter 1 and verse 32,
Yet in this thing ye did not believe the Lord your God,
who went in the way before you,
to search you out a place to pitch your tents in,
in fire by night, to show you by what way you should go,
and in a cloud by day.
It's verse 34 now,
And the Lord heard the voice of your words,
and was wroth and swear, saying,
Surely there shall none of those men of this evil generation
see that good land which I swear to give unto your fathers.
Save Caleb the son of Jephthah, now he shall see it,
and to him will I give the land that he hath trodden upon
unto his children, because he hath wholly followed the Lord.
Also the Lord was angry with me for your sake,
saying, Thou shalt not go in thither.
But Joshua the son of Nun, which standeth before thee,
he shall go in thither, encouraging him,
for he shall cause Israel to inherit it.
This is talking about going into the promised land.
Look at verse 39,
Moreover your little ones, which he said should be a prey,
and your children, which in that day had no knowledge
between good and evil, they shall go in thither,
and unto them will I give it, and they shall possess it.
Now the promised land is a picture of heaven,
just to make it clear.
It isn't talking about going to heaven,
it's talking about this, but it is a picture of heaven.
God said here that their children could enter
the promised land, because when the adults were unbelieving,
murmuring and complaining, the children, he said here,
had no knowledge between good and evil.
Okay, they had no knowledge between good and evil.
Turn to Romans 7, Matthew 18, three,
while you turn there says, and it's Jesus Christ saying,
and said, Verily I said unto you,
except you be converted and become as little children,
you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
There's a humbleness required too to get saved,
but when you're converted,
you become sinless as a child in God's eyes, okay.
So until what age is that then?
Because it can be hard, like sometimes it refers to infants,
but then there's a distinction between infants
and children that are suckling, it's just,
it doesn't make it clear.
But Romans 7, 9, Paul said,
for I was alive without the law once,
but when the commandment came, sin revived and I died.
Now for me, it's once they can understand the commandment.
Now that's not understanding your commandment.
That's not because the child knows that when they do that,
they get a smack bottom, for example,
because they can understand that from pretty young, okay.
But it's understanding the difference between good and evil.
It's understanding the commandment.
It's being of an age when they're able to understand
the punishment for sin, they're able to understand God.
That's what I believe.
Because let's be honest, when that happens,
what does it mean that they're also able to understand the gospel?
Able to understand the gospel.
So once they're able to understand
the difference between good and evil,
not the difference between what gets mummy annoyed
and what doesn't get mummy annoyed,
the difference between good and evil,
the eternal punishment, et cetera,
once they're able to understand that,
they're able to understand the gospel.
That's around, excuse me, that's around for me
about five, six, seven, eight, somewhere around those ages.
It's different for different kids, isn't it?
For basically normal children, okay.
And there are some that maybe would never understand
that there are disabilities and things like that.
And I believe that if they can't understand that,
then I believe those people are going to heaven
because I don't believe that they're therefore guilty
of their sin in that way.
They're like children, people who are as children.
That's how I see that.
So that means that the chastisement needs to begin
long before the five, six, seven, eight age, yeah?
Before the age where they're able to understand
the difference between good and evil.
But it needs to be measured as suitable for that age.
So we're going to finish off now.
So go back to Ephesians chapter six.
Ephesians six says,
Children, obey your parents in the law, for this is right.
Honour thy father and mother,
which is the first commandment with promise,
that it may be well with the ear,
now mayest live long on the earth.
And you fathers provoke not your children to wrath,
but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
So we looked at biblical parenting young children.
Number one was young children should be getting trained
for your church.
Number two, young children should be brought in,
brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
And number three, and we're just going to skip
this as we're out of time,
young children benefit too when it's done properly.
So he did say here,
verse one said that we're teaching them to do the right thing.
He said, Children, obey your parents in the law,
for this is right.
Verse two to three says to honour their father and mother,
that it may be well with the children,
and they may live long on the earth.
Because the worldly influences will suggest
that those poor kids are missing out on all the fun at school,
won't they?
Oh, all that fun, all that beer and drugs
and fornication and poor things.
But that's not the case, is it?
The brainwashing there to not obey their parents,
they're just missing out on that as well, you know?
The not to honour them in later life,
because there's a lot of that as well, a whole lot.
But if it's done right, then it says it may be well with them
and that they may live long on the earth.
And look, they're more likely to honour them
if they're raised God's way, aren't they?
Okay, that's more likely to happen.
Proverbs 2, 22, 15 says,
Foolishness is banned the heart of the child,
but the rod of correction shall drive it far from them.
It's for their own good.
You train and properly train them as the Lord wants,
you're going to end up with a child that's honouring God,
that's going to live long because they're honouring their parents as well.
And you're also going to have a child,
hopefully, that has a lot less foolishness
than the child that isn't raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Yeah?
But the point with all of this is that, look,
we should be doing it God's way.
When we do it God's way, things are going to work out.
When do we start doing it God's way? From young.
Yeah?
As though, oh, well, once they're this age,
or once they're able to get saved, then I'll start raising them biblically.
No, we start from young.
We start getting them used to church long before they get saved.
Because, look, getting saved and going to church are two separate things, aren't they?
Anyone think they're the same thing?
No, I hope not, because we preach at length about that.
OK, so getting your child ready to be and getting used to being in church,
there's no order with that.
Do that before they're saved, yeah?
Then we get them saved and we're punishing them before they get saved
because we want them to understand about punishment as well,
and also because it's good because we love them.
And all of this starts from that one to five age, doesn't it?
It all starts early.
That's the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
OK, biblical parenting.
Number one was young children should be getting trained for a church.
Number two, young children should be brought up in nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Number three, young children benefit too when it's done properly.
It's for their own good, ultimately, in the long run, yeah?
On that, we're going to pray.
Father, I thank you for your word.
I thank you for the great principles we can get from just Ephesians chapter six alone
and those first few verses.
I hope I preached what you'd want me to preach there, Lord.
I hope that people just were receptive to that and to your word
and just want to hear what your word's got to say.
I want to act upon that.
I want to be the sort of parents that you want us to be, Lord.
Help us all to just be better parents.
Help the children here to all just behave as you'd want, to obey their parents.
For that is right, Lord, and help them to understand it's for their own good
that we raise them in the way that you want us to raise them.
Help us to just keep away from all those worldly negative influences.
Help to keep us strong, Lord, in this with the whole armour of God
like the rest of that chapter talks about as well
so we can just keep doing things the way you want us to do them, Lord.
Help those here that are in difficult situations
where they can't necessarily do it exactly like that
to just be able to do the best they can for you, Lord,
and I just thank you for all of this. Amen.