So Proverbs 23, and obviously there's a lot we could go to in Proverbs 23, even when it comes to parenting, really.
However, we're just going to look down at verses 24 and 25 for now.
Proverbs 23 and from verse 24 reads,
The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice, and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him.
And he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him.
Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bear thee shall rejoice.
And we're back after a break, like I said, to our series on biblical parenting, and tonight it's going to be teens.
So the title of my sermon today is biblical parenting and teens.
I'd like to just pray before we get going.
So Father, thank you for the gift of children.
Thank you for the teens that are here and all those young children that grow up to be teens.
Lord, we just pray right now that you just help everyone here to have attentive ears.
Help us to be able to listen to what your word has got to say about parenting,
about the truths of not just parenting, but life in general.
Help me to preach this accurately and boldly and clearly.
Help people to just have open ears and want to hear what your word's got to say.
Lord, in Jesus' name we pray this. Amen.
We've looked at various stages of life as a child.
Our first one was pregnancy, labour and postpartum.
Then we had the first year.
Then we had young children, which, you know, we looked at from sort of up to five years old, sort of one to five.
And then it was children, which was from around five to 12 years old.
And now we're looking at older children.
And you might be saying, wait a second, brother, didn't you say teens?
Didn't you say teens?
Aren't they more like an adult at 16 or is it 18?
Or I don't know, it kind of changes, doesn't it?
Well, not according to biblical principles.
Keep a finger here and turn to Numbers chapter 14.
And while you turn there, I want to read from Numbers chapter 1 and verse 3,
where Moses is told to take a register of all the men able to go to war.
And verse 3 in Numbers 1 says,
From 20 years old and upward, all that are able to go forth to war in Israel,
thou and Aaron shall number them by their armies.
And look, there are some physically able teens out there, aren't there?
Some of the best sports people in the world.
And I say sports people because I'm making a bit of a point here.
Some of these are sort of in the teen categories, aren't there?
And some of these, you know, some of these are,
I mean, you know, I'm interested in fight sports.
There are some great teens in fight sports,
but in many other sort of things like that.
But God still counts them as children.
They might be physically able,
they might be able to compete with men in many sort of places in life,
but they're still children, okay? They're still children.
In Leviticus 27, they're separated into age ranges for their values.
We see the 0 to 5 category, 5 to 20, 20 to 60, 60 plus.
And in Numbers 14, where you are, 10 of the 12 spies have returned after.
They're meant to be going out to kind of bring a report of the promised land.
Sorry, well, 12 have returned, 10 of them have brought this kind of evil report.
And the people have swallowed it hook, line and sinker.
We see in verse 26 here in Numbers 14, verse 26,
And the Lord spake unto Moses and unto Aaron, saying,
How long shall I bear with this evil congregation which murmur against me?
I have heard the murmurings of the children of Israel which they murmur against me.
Say unto them, As truly as I live saith the Lord,
As ye have spoken in my ears, so will I do to you.
Your carcasses shall fall in this wilderness,
and all that were numbered of you, according to your whole number,
from twenty years old and upward,
which have murmured against me, doubtless,
ye shall not come into the land concerning which I swear to make ye dwell therein.
Save Caleb the son of Jephthah, and Joshua the son of Nun.
But your little ones, which he said should be a prey,
them will I bring in, and they shall know the land which ye have despised.
So in verse 29, we see that he's not caring for the teens as responsible, is he?
They're still children in God's eyes there.
And verse 31 really suggests that he's calling them little ones, isn't he?
He's calling these teenagers and under, he's calling them little ones.
He says in verse 29, basically from twenty years old and upward,
which have murmured against me,
then in verse 31 he says, but your little ones, which he said should be a prey,
then will I bring in.
I see him calling under twenties as little ones there.
Now, before any teens get offended here, okay?
Sorry, we might have a few teens in here,
in case any of them start cutting their teeth, start getting bad,
and they're ready to gnash on me.
Well, having less responsibility isn't always a bad thing, by the way.
Okay, and God was giving them a pass on the murmuring, basically.
He was going, look, I'm going to let you off on any of this,
because you were still children, okay?
And in fact, you don't have to turn a bit, in Exodus chapter 30 and verse 14,
there's this once a year atonement offering commanded,
and he says, every one that passeth among them that are numbered from twenty years old and above
shall give an offering unto the Lord.
So in fact, when it came to the once a year atonement offering as well,
the under twenties got a pass on that as well, okay?
So it's not always bad not being considered an adult.
In fact, it's good in many ways, yeah?
Now, go back to Proverbs 23.
What's my point?
That this is opposite to the world's view on teenagers.
This is opposite to how teenagers seem to be treated in some and many areas in the world.
God looks at things differently,
and I'm always going to go with how God looks at things, right?
When I was young, sixteen was a big number, okay?
When I was young, it was, whoa, sixteen years old.
I think at sixteen, you could legally gamble, you could legally smoke,
you could, I think you could get a provisional license, is that right?
But then maybe you couldn't take the test till seventeen.
I don't know if that's changed.
I think that's changed now.
It's eighteen, isn't it, to be able to drive, but unless I got that wrong.
What else?
You could, you know, obviously you had sixth form college,
where basically these kids would just be off on their own,
and they'd be making their choices for their lives and everything else.
Many would be going to work and other things like that.
You could leave full-time education, et cetera.
Now, it seems to have kind of got a bit more like eighteen now, hasn't it,
with kind of quite a lot of that stuff.
And look, none of that stuff is sort of benchmark.
Oh, when can I smoke or something else, you know.
However, it was just interesting that they thought that sixteen was a kind of,
for some reason, an acceptable number for that.
And now, in this nation, it's more eighteen as this sort of big age,
sort of, you know, this, you know, once you've made it to eighteen,
you're kind of considered an adult.
You know, I think you're able to vote, aren't you, at eighteen?
Yeah, able to vote, and there's many other things
that you're able to do in this nation at eighteen years old.
You are treated like an adult.
I don't think there's much where it's kind of beyond that,
apart from like insurance purposes and other things like that, right,
in terms of laws and things like that.
So, we've got the eighteen mark here.
However, for much younger than that,
there are many topics being pushed and promoted to teenagers,
which are beyond adult in nature.
Sinful things, et cetera, which kids, teenage kids,
are kind of expected to just be okay to be taught and everything else,
and we're not going to go into too much of that right now.
Proverbs 23, go back to Proverbs 23 and verse 24,
said, The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice,
and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him.
Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that barely shall rejoice.
So, getting our kids saved is obviously the priority.
We covered that last week.
And that would be something to rejoice over, isn't it?
Getting your kids saved is something to rejoice over.
However, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
And look, although foolishness is bound in the heart of a child,
and I'm making this point here that, yes,
they are still considered children,
verse 24 suggests that children can still be considered wise, doesn't it?
I mean, it did say child and not son.
It didn't say the son would then just be offspring, wouldn't it, adult?
But it did say child, beginning a wise child.
So, and whether or not you believe that or not,
you go, well, actually, you know, it's in italics there,
so maybe the King James translators just kind of were trying to help understand the verse.
So, whatever you think, it doesn't really matter,
because our goal as parents is to raise wise children, isn't it?
Yeah, we want wise children.
That's our goal.
So, anyone who either is a parent or going to be a parent in the future,
or just wants to support the parents in here, like I said many times,
our goal is wise children.
And the teen years are when this should hopefully come to fruition.
And I'm not saying, right, the second they turn 13, you've got a wise child,
but it's over these years that you're hoping to start to see them
becoming those wise children,
which is what your kind of goal's been after salvation, isn't it?
You want wise children, you're trying to raise children
that can deal with the majority of their life as adulthood.
That's what we're raising them for, aren't we?
And they need wisdom to be able to do that.
And the funny thing is, is that although the teen years are the years
when we want it to come to fruition,
the teen years are off also probably the years with the biggest pitfalls, aren't they?
The teen years are years where you see, I mean, I saw it many times growing up
where kids that were pretty well raised seemed to be okay,
just suddenly just became these disasters,
where suddenly these teenage kids just, I mean,
fell into all sorts of wickedness, sin, all the pitfalls out there.
So you've kind of got this age range where you're trying to encourage them
to be the wise children that you're trying to raise them to be,
but then on the other hand, they can so easily just wreck their lives
in those teen years, can't they?
I mean, obviously they could do that before, but, I mean, let's be honest,
the teen years is big for that, isn't it?
And teens, look, teens do crazy stuff a lot of the time.
I know when I look back, I think, what on earth was I playing at?
And so many of my friends, so many of my peers, so many people I know
and still know now, you just look back and think, what on earth?
So, I mean, this is a big age range, isn't it,
in terms of this is a massively important age range,
and as parents, we need to get this right, don't we?
Okay, we need to get this right.
So, and here's the thing with that.
On one hand, you know, we're to remember that they're still children,
but then on the other hand, we're trying to prepare them,
or we're trying to encourage at least wisdom and preparation for adulthood.
So, you've kind of got a bit of a balancing act here, haven't you?
Because you can't just baby them until they're 20 years old
and then go, right, out you go,
and suddenly expect them to be full of wisdom and everything else
if they'd be getting treated the same as you treat your 7, 8, 9-year-olds
for their whole teen years.
Yet, on the other hand, it's a very important age range,
Yet, on the other hand, it's so easy to get it wrong
and give them too much responsibility,
and suddenly you've got teens doing all these crazy things
that you just thought, I just can't believe they went and did that.
And believe me, many parents have just gone,
I can't believe my team went and did that.
Okay, no offence, teens, just the way it is.
Yeah, I was a teen once, only crazy stuff, all right?
Okay, so, how do we do that?
Well, it's a balancing act.
Get it wrong, and you can have 13-year-olds
that basically think they're 30-year-olds,
and on the flip side, you can have a 30-year-old
that still acts like a 13-year-old,
and is sitting in your attic room somewhere playing computer games
and needing you to pick up all their washing
and feed them and everything else, okay?
So we're trying to get this right, aren't we, as parents?
Now, before I continue with this,
and like with all of these parenting series,
I'm preaching some of the ideals I see from the Bible.
However, many of us have come to faith at different times later in life.
Many parents have made decisions, things have happened, et cetera,
where maybe they can't do the exact ideal,
or maybe they haven't been able to do the exact ideal.
So we need to then, within our own wisdom,
try and kind of get things right as we are.
This is the ideal for me, a lot of what I've preached
over the last several weeks of this series,
of what you would do as a new parent with faith, with the Bible,
with the Word of God, raising children, okay?
So with that, let's continue.
Get it right, and what does Proverbs 23, verse 24 and 25 say?
The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice,
and he that begetteth the wise child shall have joy of him.
Thy father and thy mother shall be glad,
and she that bare thee shall rejoice.
And glad makes you think of them basically like, go phew!
You know, it's kind of like they just, wow, I got through that.
You know, that kind of gives me that impression,
thy mother, or at least thy father and thy mother shall be glad.
They just go, oh man, we somehow got through the teen years,
and you know, we've got a wise child, how did we end up with that?
The mother's rejoicing because, well,
the mothers just generally tend to worry more, don't they?
For me, the mother's rejoicing because it's that little less worry at night
when your child is wise, isn't it?
Yeah, and mum's kind of worried throughout their lives for their children,
but probably a little bit less when you feel like you've got a wise child, right?
Now, in case you're worried, you're thinking, okay,
brother Ian already seems like he's going to have a bit to say about this, right?
We're on for the long haul tonight.
This is actually only a two-point sermon, okay?
We are going to be preaching a two-point sermon tonight on this.
Point number one is that they're still children.
Point number two is that they're nearly adults, okay?
And we're going to try and balance that a little bit tonight.
So, biblical parenting teens.
And point number one, teens are children.
Teens are children.
Again, I'm not going to be popular at the end of this with the teens,
but I don't really care.
Children need our protection, don't they?
Children need our protection.
Turn to 1 Peter chapter five.
Numbers 14, 31.
You're turning to 1 Peter five said when referring to the under 20-year-olds,
but your little ones which ye said should be a prey,
then will I bring in, and they shall know the land which ye have despised.
They recognized them as prey, didn't they?
And that's something that predators are seeking, okay?
And predators seek prey.
And look, whether they're young children or they're teenagers,
the predators are seeking them, okay?
Let's get that straight.
When you see predators in the wild, what is it that they're generally looking for?
They're looking for the lame, they're looking for the sick,
and they're looking for the young, okay?
And the teens are still young.
The teens are children.
They're looking for your children.
1 Peter 5.8 talks about our adversary that is a predator.
It says, be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary, the devil,
as a roaring lion walketh about seeking whom he may devour.
So parents need to be extra sober and extra vigilant
on top of the normal person who's only really got to worry about themselves,
because they need to be vigilant for their young as well.
They need to be vigilant for all their young,
and the more kids you have, the older your kids get,
the more vigilant you need to get, right?
And when it comes to teens, you need to be vigilant, okay?
The predators are out there, okay?
They're everywhere out there, okay?
And especially, you're a child of God, your children are children of God,
the predators want your kids, all right?
Okay, and that doesn't change because they become a teen.
Now, does it change because they're starting to look more like a man
or look more like a woman?
In fact, a lot of the time it heightens,
because it's kind of like Last Chance Saloon, in a way,
with the predator before they reach adulthood,
and it's harder to get them, okay?
So the predators want your kids.
So we need to be sober and vigilant.
And you can't do that if you don't know where your kids are, can you?
How can you be sober and vigilant, looking after your kids,
watching out for the adversaries,
if you've got no idea where your kids are and what they're doing?
Oh, well, they're teens.
Teens, you've just got to give them some freedom, do you?
Do you think that's what God wants you to do?
Low children are in the heritage of the Lord,
the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Yeah, but once they get to teens, children,
once they're teenage children, ah, well, it's all right,
because the world says, just let them do what they want.
The world says, let them hang around down the park
with who knows who doing who knows what.
That's all right, isn't it?
The world says, just let them make their own way
here, there and everywhere, because what could go wrong?
I'll tell you what, a lot can go wrong, and a lot does go wrong.
Oh, but the world says, well, they're teens,
so they could just go and go to the shops with their mates.
What could go wrong?
I'll tell you, a lot goes wrong.
A lot goes wrong.
I remember when I was young, before I was a teen,
and there was a kid that my family knew who,
and look, much worse than this happens,
it just came in my mind, just because this was just a nice kid
and gone to meet his friends down at McDonald's or something else,
and literally within an hour of being out on a Saturday afternoon,
he had had his jeans taken off him.
He had got basically robbed.
I don't think they even probably had a whip,
just said, take off your trousers, I want your jeans.
And this kid, obviously, you know, for most kids,
probably didn't know what to do, they were bigger kids,
took his trousers off, ended up walking home in his pants.
And that was just a quick afternoon out, you know,
and can you imagine that?
That's got to pretty much destroy you, hasn't it?
Oh, why didn't he fight them off?
Because a lot of kids don't really have it in them to do that, OK?
And look, there's much worse than that that happens,
that's just something I just thought about quickly then.
But the world says, well, they're teenagers.
They've got to be given the freedom, don't they?
Hmm. Who's the god of this world again?
The devil.
What a surprise that when they're kind of like,
the last time when they're still children,
the encouragement is just get them out, let them do what they want.
Oh, just hang around with the world's kids here, there and everywhere,
who cares?
What a load of old nonsense, eh?
But no, they're prey and we need to be careful for that.
And I'm sure it's easier if your teens are having sleepovers,
because, look, teens can kind of be hard work sometimes.
Every kid can be hard work and some are like, oh, that's great,
because they're having a sleepover.
What could go wrong?
They're with their best mate.
What could go wrong?
I'll tell you what, a lot goes wrong at sleepovers.
Whether it's getting boozed up, drugged up,
sneaking off in the middle of the night, around the Liberal parents,
you know, who don't give a damn what the kids are doing
and where they are and everything else.
What a surprise.
They always want to go around that kid's house.
Oh, what a surprise.
That kid's parents don't even care.
That kid's parent says go and do what you like.
Yeah, and everything else that goes with it.
I'm sure it's easier if your kids are out shopping for the day
and you can just have a bit of time to yourself,
out at the park with the best friend.
And, again, like the best friend,
oh, they've got to have this best bosom buddy,
they've got to have this group of friends, you know,
because the poor things, everything else.
There are so many pitfalls there, though, aren't there?
And what, because they're just, oh, well, it's all right,
because they're with someone the same age.
Kids encourage other kids to do crazy stuff, don't they?
Absolutely crazy stuff.
And we all know, we're the best friends.
And we all know, look, all the adults here look back
and they're probably here right now
flashing through the head for some of you.
I know for me that I'm just not even going to go down the route of,
just all these, just thinking, wow, did I really, did I do that?
Did I do, it's nuts.
Oh, well, we got through it.
Oh, well, we're still here.
Yeah, but a lot aren't.
Yeah, a lot have ruined their lives at the teenage years.
And, you know, you know, with our adversary being a devil,
do you know what his favourite meal is?
It's fresh Christian.
So you could go, well, look at all the, yeah, but the world's kids,
a lot of them, you know, it's not too bad.
Otherwise, wouldn't they all just be getting preyed upon it?
Well, a lot of them do get preyed upon,
but you know what he really wants to prey upon?
He's your adversary, Christian.
It's the young Christians.
They're the ones he wants.
And those of you who know best and have the Bible here telling you,
telling you what's going to happen, telling you about the predators,
telling you about looking after those children and heritage of the Lord
and go, well, I don't really care because the next-door neighbours does it
because my unsaved family are telling me I should just let them go
and do what they want and then go, right, get out,
go and do what you want.
You're the ones that are going to pay for that,
more than the world's kids, more than the world's parents.
We know better, don't we?
Much is given, much to be required.
And it's the same with church as well.
Oh, well, church is a safe place.
Well, church, I'll just leave my kids at church, you know,
teenager, just do what they want, you know.
Why can't my team just come and go as they please,
do what they want, et cetera.
Look, we had, as usual, what did we have in this church?
We had a bunch of clowns trying to desensitise everyone to this sort of stuff.
And what a surprise.
What was so much of it about?
Leaving your kids.
Like the whole helicopter parenting rubbish,
if you didn't just leave your children with someone you barely knew from church.
Encouraging.
We had a woman here just encouraging people, just leave your kids with me.
While you go out soul winning.
Who even is she?
What did anyone really know about her?
And the rest, they'd be swapping kids while they go soul winning.
Oh, I'm taking your kid today with me and everyone's sitting going,
oh, that must be normal because he's a Christian
and they just take someone's kid somewhere.
If there's one place you can't keep an eye on a child, it's where.
Soul winning.
You're standing in front trying to preach the gospel
and you've got your so-called best friend's kid with your kids behind you.
I mean, it was nuts, wasn't it?
I mean, let alone the fact these people weren't exactly babysitting material.
Let alone when they're preaching gospel trying to bully people to pretend they get saved.
I mean, you've got to put some attention into that, don't you?
It was crazy.
And the problem was, what did that do?
It influenced our church.
So then, naturally, all of us are kind of thinking,
well, maybe I'm a bit, maybe I'm too uptight
because I don't just let so-and-so take my kid's soul winning.
Because I don't just leave my kid with whoever it is, so-and-so.
Because they're a Christian.
Because I don't let someone hold my baby, some single guy I don't even know,
walk around with my baby while I get on with stuff and load my car.
It was bizarre, wasn't it?
And it was completely the opposite to how God wants us to be.
What a surprise.
And it was pushing upon our church.
And it's something then that I had to shift as well
because all these, you know, why are they going on about the helicopter plane?
Why are they going on about the helicopter parenting?
Why do they want you to be desensitized about this?
Why do they, why?
Because they're predators.
Because the predator wants you to leave your kids.
The predator wants you to leave them alone with them.
They want to get to your kids.
And they want it to get to our kids.
So, look, it's a serious topic, isn't it?
Okay?
And it's something that then, that I've had to shift on as well
because, you know, I've made errors on this as the church started.
I remember, and again, no offence to the women that they're with.
I remember one time we were kind of short of women on the soul-winning mountain
and nothing wrong with the women that I did.
But, you know, I let my daughter pair up with them.
Now I was nearby them.
But, again, it's not something I want to encourage here.
It's something I did which was probably a wrong choice
because I don't want to encourage that with other people either.
Like, there's no reason to send our teenagers off with other people's souls.
Why do that?
Because we don't know each other that well.
And, look, I'm sure everyone here is nice people.
It's not that.
But it's something that I shouldn't have done.
And another time it was kind of, we were a bit stuck.
There were no talkers.
We had a couple of ladies that were silent partners.
And it didn't kind of work out.
And in the end I think I let my daughter go with them to then talk.
But then I didn't really know where she was.
And it was wrong.
Hands up, that was wrong.
But I'll admit when I get things wrong now,
we shouldn't be doing things like that.
What we should be doing is keeping our kids serious.
Teenagers especially, you know, with things like that.
I see no reason to be sending off teenagers soul-winning with random people.
I'm not saying it all, man.
Everyone here, the women who are here, I'm not having a go at them.
Same with anyone across the church, yeah.
It was an error of myself with that.
So, but again, part of that was because we'd had this group here just doing it with everyone.
Three year olds, five year olds, ten year olds.
Just go off, go off with this one, go off with that one.
Stay with this one in the church.
It was nuts, wasn't it?
Okay.
So, nowadays the predators aren't just out and about.
They're not just in church.
They're online too, aren't they?
Nowadays you've kind of got this new angle as well.
You've got online predators.
They want to get to your kids and they'll get to them through social media.
They'll get to them through the phone.
They'll get to them through whatever kind of hangout chat group they're on.
They'll get, and look, I'm not even going to try and start naming this stuff
because I've just shown my age.
But there's all this sort of different stuff, isn't there?
I don't even know how half of it works, but that's something, again,
how do we be aware?
Well, you have to be aware of that, don't we?
We have to know what they're doing.
Who are they talking to?
Who are they getting involved?
Because they're prey.
Because they're prey and the predator wants them.
Now, it's not that you have to follow around your kids
because I'm going to talk in a minute about, as well,
remembering that they're nearly adults, right?
As they go through the teen years,
then there's some freedom we need to give them as well
and it's about getting that balance right.
But we have to be aware, first and foremost, that they are still children.
They are still children and they're targets.
And it's not just the wicked pervert, OK?
It's not just that.
It's the brainwash.
It's the liberal brainwash just getting shoved down your kids' throats,
left, right and centre.
It's to weaken them, to pull them away from the things of God,
to question the things of God.
You know, if your kids are all saved and hopefully all the teens here
and eventually when they are, teens here are saved,
yet it's the rest of it.
It's to weaken their walk with Christ.
It's to pull them down just away from, like, proper, soul-winning church
and the rest of it.
Any angle, any angle to weaken, to attack, to soften them up.
Teaching them things they should never even know about, right?
I mean, wow, I mean, kids surfing the internet,
I mean, that's concerning, isn't it?
But so much out there and there's so many pitfalls, aren't there?
So many pitfalls.
I'll probably only just scratch the surface of them, OK?
So something we need to remember is that point number one
is that they're children, OK?
And I'm going to continue with point number one.
We look at biblical parenting, teens.
Point number one, teens are children.
And with that, children don't need to date.
Can anyone tell me why children need to be dating?
Because what's the goal of dating?
What's the goal of dating?
To see if someone's suitable for marriage, isn't it?
Or is it just to have a bit of a laugh, a bit of fun and everything?
No, it's to see if someone's suitable for marriage.
Turn to 1 Corinthians 5.
That's the whole goal.
Oh, no, no, no, brother Ian, you've got it all wrong now.
You've got it all wrong because dating is something where they could,
you know, let them have a bit of fun and get to know people,
get to understand...
No, no, I'm not comfortable sending my kids off
to risk end up getting into fornication.
How about that?
Is that so bad of me?
No, I don't want my kids to sleep around.
What sort of a parent?
I hope everyone here doesn't want their children to sleep around.
But what are all the world's kids doing?
Sleeping around.
So something's going wrong, isn't it?
And I'll tell you what it might be,
it's trying to encourage children to date from young ages, right?
You've got a girlfriend...
How many friends of the family will start saying that junk to your kids?
Even young kids, it's sick, really, isn't it?
You've got a girlfriend, you've got a boyfriend, what on earth?
Why would my child have a girlfriend or a boyfriend?
For what reason? Give me a reason.
There's no reason, is there?
1 Corinthians 5 and verse 9 says,
I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators.
Verse 13 says, but them that are without God judges,
therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.
What do you think these teens are getting up to?
Anyone really wondering, what are all these teens...
I'll tell you what they're getting up to, fornication.
On a massive scale.
Oh, they're just dating.
It's just a teenage romance.
No, it's not, it's wickedness.
It's fornication.
And I'll tell you what, do you know what?
A lot of women are still emotionally scarred by their teenage romances.
Their physical... They're still emotionally scarred to this day by them.
It's not just some... Oh, well, yeah, well, it was just a bit of fun.
No, it emotionally scars them.
In fact, some of the men get emotionally scarred by it as well.
All the issues with it, all the feelings of insecurity,
all the other things, the horrible break-ups after something
that should be something for life.
Yeah, and suddenly... It's an absolute mess out there.
Titus 2.5 talks of teaching the young women to be chaste or pure.
We're not going to turn there.
Chaste or pure. Yeah, you know what that means, yeah?
That's what we should be teaching the young women to be.
The Bible calls not being chaste or pure being a whore or a whoremonger.
I ain't raising my kids to be whores and whoremongers.
That's not my goal.
So why on earth would I risk it with dating?
What are they gaining from dating?
Yet how much of the world is trying to push and encourage that?
And that's something you've got to get strong with, isn't it?
Especially as those teens get older.
Now, the only exception in my mind would be when you're getting
to sort of the 19-year-old and you're looking to becoming an adult
and maybe you're looking for a future marriage,
but even then, is there a rush with that?
Is there really a rush?
But that's where you're starting to go, OK,
when you're getting towards an adult,
because you don't want it to be a five-minute whirlwind romance anyway,
do you? OK?
Dating's when you find it.
Dating's not like, right, we're dating, that means we're getting married.
Dating is when you're discovering whether or not
that is someone that you can and should marry, yeah?
OK.
Now, what happens with that is that we've got the Bible on one hand,
haven't we?
We've got the Word of God, and we're teaching them to be chaste,
teaching them to be pure.
We don't see all this, well, I had a fling with this one,
I had a fling with that one, and then I really worked it out,
you know, et cetera.
And then you've got the world,
which basically says they need to sleep around for years,
act like they're married for a few more years,
then work out whether or not they really want to be married,
then maybe along the line, you know, within that time,
probably a few diseases and maybe a couple of, you know,
child sacrifices later, then restart the process again.
And maybe, you know, when they get to kind of like late 30s, early 40s,
start thinking about children and realise how difficult
then that becomes, et cetera, yeah?
That's kind of the world's way, isn't it, now?
That's what I see there in our country.
Proverbs 5.18, though, says,
let thy fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
And youth here means from young, we're not talking about child marriages,
but for me, the concept there is, look, you date from when you,
for me, at the earliest late teens, if not once you're an adult,
that's 20 plus, with a view to getting married young,
not with a view to just sleeping around for years
until finally you get bored of it
and then find someone who's still willing to take you.
And that kind of is what we're seeing out there in our society, isn't it?
Biblical parenting and teens we're looking at,
and the point number one that we're still on is that teens are children, OK?
Teens are children,
and children don't need to go and live alone with a load of other children.
Fancy that.
Children don't need to go and live alone with other children.
Turn to Genesis chapter 2, yeah? University.
Student accommodation and all those other massive snares.
Is it any surprise, yeah,
that amongst students it's alcohol, drugs, fornication and much worse?
Is it any surprise?
You've got all these children living together away from their parents.
I just can't work it out.
I can't work out why that student life is such a disgrace.
I can't work it out when now so many employers are like,
you know, if I want a student.
Because it's like, well, you've spent three years getting drunk and high
and fornicating,
and so many of the degrees have got easier and easier and easier.
It's not even a guaranteed job anymore, is it?
Oh, it's all part of growing up.
That's kind of like how our world looks,
especially more in the kind of middle classes in this country,
although that's kind of getting smaller and smaller.
But, however, it's just part of growing up, isn't it?
You know, you just kind of go to university,
live on the other side of the country somewhere
and live with a load of kids, and what could go wrong?
What could go wrong?
Well, tell that to the rape and abuse victims.
There's a lot of student rape and abuse victims.
Tell that to the alcoholics, to the victims of boozy violence,
and a lot of students end up victims or perpetrators of boozy violence.
The paranoid drug mess-ups that are still walking around this day
that maybe were pretty clean-living kids till they went to university.
And we're around all these other kids who are just getting high,
who are getting drunk every day, especially in their first year.
Oh, freshers' year, isn't it? So cool and so great and so exciting.
The students around towns and cities in this nation
who are victims every weekend of some sort of abuse,
drunken violence, some sort of drug-fuelled, something or other, robberies.
All of it. All of it.
Not just that, though. What about just that liberal, vegan,
sort of sicko, psycho, socio, brainwash, claptrap-believing,
just nutter out there, who are pretty much,
seems to be the product of our university system.
What about them? Those poor things, really.
I mean, sent off to live with a load of kids,
they've got no parents looking out for them,
and they just get sucked into all this just nonsense.
And then the whole life seems to be about saving the animals
from doing what animals have always done, getting eaten.
Or saving the planet from cows farting or something.
It's just ridiculous, isn't it?
But, again, really, they're victims, aren't they?
And what a wasted life.
Next thing you know, they've got blue hair and army jackets
running around with placards about something that doesn't even matter.
They're victims.
And what's happened is their parents have sent them to the wolves.
They've sent them to the wolves.
And if it's not that long hair, that grey pony-tailed professor at university
who's just like, grey, have my...
I'm going to brainwash these ones.
Then it's all the other wolves around, the student digs around the towns,
the drug dealers, the abusers, just all of them.
The bar owners a lot.
They're all just like, this is great.
Just send them in, bring in the prey.
The wolves aren't even having to stalk them.
They're just sending them straight down to the wolf's den.
Is it a den? It is a den, isn't it?
See that? I'm joking.
But it's crazy, isn't it?
They're literally sending them in there.
Do they need to live there?
Oh, you're going, wait a second, wait a second.
What about their degrees?
What about further education?
Because no one will take it seriously if they don't have a degree.
Well, look, yeah, some degrees are worthwhile.
You've got an idea, that job that you need needs a degree.
Good on you, yeah?
Get a degree if you need a degree for that job that you think
is going to suit you, that's going to work for you, etc.
Do you need to live there, though?
Can't you find a degree that's near where your parents live
so you can still be protected?
I mean, is that so, oh, it's not the right, you know,
this university's better or, no, well, it hasn't got,
well, choose another degree then.
Because count the cost, right?
Count the cost.
Or, oh, no, no, because that's what they really,
I wouldn't want to upset the poor little thing,
so you're like, quick, fine.
That's what happens, isn't it?
And the next thing you know, they're hundreds of miles away
and they ain't got the adult protecting them.
And that's exactly what the devil wants.
And, by the way, do they need to drum up another,
however many thousands in debt, living in some flat
with people just offering them student loans and credit cards
and everything else, and not have to work?
I mean, what a mess all of that is, isn't it?
Count the cost.
Not just spiritually, not just physically,
not just financially, but spiritually, too, yeah?
Parents, we need to count the cost with these things, don't we?
What is it, oh, well, yeah, but then, like,
then I can show everyone how clever they really are.
What a great job they've got.
Yeah, but you've just sent your kid off to the wolves
and you've just destroyed them,
and they come back with green hair and the rest of it, yeah?
Genesis 2.24 says,
Therefore, did I tell you to turn to Genesis 2?
Genesis 2.24 says,
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother
and shall cleave unto his wife,
and they shall be one flesh.
Not leave and cleave to some filthy student accommodation
hundreds of miles away.
Not leave and cleave to some party lifestyle on a gap year,
travelling in some cheap party island somewhere
where you just go and tell everyone,
oh, you're seeing other cultures,
but really you're just getting drunk and high
and fornicating for a year,
like it's some sort of right of pattern.
I mean, it's nuts, isn't it?
When you look at what the world does, it's absolutely nuts, yeah?
Look, I know a lot of people have maybe been through that
or seen people go through that,
and maybe they come out the other end,
but a lot of them don't, OK?
A lot of them don't, and the predator wants to prey.
Biblical parenting teens.
So point number one is that teens are children.
Look, you could go to many, many areas of how the world does it
as opposed to, I believe, looking at that principle.
Teens being children, they need our protection,
they need our guidance.
However, point number two is that teens
are nearly adults.
Teens are nearly adults too, OK?
And that's something we kind of have to understand
because we are preparing them for adulthood, aren't we?
OK, and there's not a switch that's flicked at 20
and suddenly they go from a child to an adult, is there?
It's not like, right, well, you know,
I've had them on the apron strings for sort of 19 years now,
suddenly I'm just going to cut them loose
and they're just going to be fine
and know how to deal with life.
So for me, those apron strings need to kind of be lengthened
and lengthened and lengthened at a sensible distance
and they're still on the apron strings,
you're right, before they're cut.
That cotton wool wrapping needs to be maybe lessened
and thinned out and thinned out and thinned out
before you suddenly just whip it away, right?
Because, look, teenagers aren't the same as little children,
are they?
They're children, but they're not little children, right?
They need preparation, right?
Turn to Proverbs 22.
Remember that our goal is a wise child
who will then be a wise adult, yeah?
That's our goal, isn't it?
That wise child will then become a wise adult.
Proverbs 22 and verse 6 says this.
Train up a child in the way he should go
and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
And that's a great verse that applies to so much of parenting, right?
But the teen years for me are definitely some really key years for this, yeah?
They're really key because we're trying to train them up and that.
I mean, you're kind of in like the final part of training, really, aren't you?
You're in that final part, you're trying to kind of put it all together,
all that years, if you've been doing things biblically for many years,
you're putting it all together now in these final years
to be able to release them into hopefully what's going to be a successful life
and obviously a successful spiritual life as well.
But there's nothing like hands-on training, is there?
You could give all the theory in the world.
I remember many years ago I'd been away
and I thought, I want to get a job that I can pick up and put down
because I was travelling, I was going and training abroad
and I thought, I know what looks good, they seem to need a lot of them
and they look like quiet folks.
It looks like playing a computer game.
There's something called, anyone heard of a telehandler?
Anyone heard of a telehandler?
So these are basically, they're basically these big off-road,
they're kind of across through the tractor and a forklift truck, yeah?
They drive them on building sites, they have these big off-road vehicles
and they have these big extending booms at the front
and some of them have these legs at the front
and they're pretty fun to drive, right?
But they're obviously dangerous to drive as well, yeah?
Because you're lifting stuff up to maybe on the roof,
you're lifting up not just pallets, materials, building materials, stuff like that.
I thought, that looks great fun, you could just rig up an agency,
loads, there were loads of these jobs going,
they paid pretty well at the time as well.
So I thought, I'm going to go and do a training course for a telehandler.
So I went down, I paid however much money it was,
went to this place and literally actual driving time,
several hours in the whole week, yeah?
And I thought, got the license, I know how to safely,
the safe procedure, kind of like with driving,
you know, there's procedures to lifting up pallets,
you know, tons of bricks and putting them up on the top of a roof
or lifting up this stuff and that and using the boom safely
and what length it should go in front of you before you need to put the feet down
because otherwise it'll tip the whole thing forward and et cetera,
all this sort of stuff, how you use a crab steering,
it's quite an exciting thing to drive, right?
And then I turned up on this building site and I'm like, right,
run up the agency, I got the license, they're like, great, send you,
they don't care, they just say, yeah, send him in.
So I turned up on this building site, I mean, I was an absolute clown.
I turned up, hardly, you know, the guys go, right,
I need those up there, I go, I don't know if that's a safe offload.
It's like, what are you talking about, mate?
Just get the thing up and I'm getting kicked off sites,
I was getting sat left, right?
Because it was one thing going and doing the course,
it's one thing hearing the theory but I never actually got the practical.
I put a few hours in and suddenly I'm turning up on these busy building sites
where people are just rushing about everywhere.
They want everything like yesterday and I didn't even know what I was doing.
I crashed one of them, speared it into a scaffold tube,
went straight in the back into the engine
and then I had to try and blame the scaffolders for it.
Tube was too long.
What that did do in the end is they said, okay,
you can stay on site as long as you labour as well
and then I ended up doing less lifts
and slowly with time I got quicker and better with it, right?
And then eventually I wasn't too bad by the end
but it took me a long time to get there, right?
I was a joke, yeah?
And really my point is that because I never got the practice,
so other people had just been driving them and they thought,
I'd better tick the box and get the license,
so they went down and they were fine.
But if you'd never really done the driving,
just paying for a license and turning up,
you were no better than the person that had never really driven it before, right?
So, and it's the kind of same for me,
it's the same when it comes to teenagers especially going into adulthood.
They need the practical experience, right?
They need the hands-on training.
So, practical skills, cooking.
Yeah, your teenagers need to learn how to cook, don't they?
Cooking, cleaning, mending, fixing, all that stuff.
And you might be like, oh man, what are they doing?
You know, I could have done this ages ago,
but however, they need that, don't they?
They need that training.
Driving, for me driving is a massive one, isn't it?
I mean, how many people here wish they'd got their driving licenses
when they were kind of still at home
and it was a lot more affordable to get it, right?
At 18 years old, rather than suddenly they're in their 20s
and it's like, it's a lot of money
and it gets harder the older you get as well
and suddenly you're trying to find time and everything else to do it
amongst all your other costs and bills
and these are like key, key skills that they need to learn, don't they,
while you're raising them in your home.
But think about future jobs as well.
What skills and education are required for that job that suits you?
Not just go to university because it's, well, that's what everyone else does,
or not, or just go into whatever job.
The kid literally has got no hand-eye coordination
but I'll just send him down my mate's site,
he's got a builder's firm, that'll be all right.
Well, maybe that's not for him.
Or maybe this, we're trying to work out what they're good at,
and obviously you want to get them well-rounded as well,
but starting to get an idea.
Teenage years, that's a good time for that, isn't it?
You don't want them loafing around for 10 years until they're 30
doing different courses because really they kind of quite like living at home,
not doing much, not having much responsibility.
You never really worked out what they're any good at.
You know, teen years are good for that, aren't they?
Lots of hands-on stuff.
And when we talk about skills and education,
is that boys or girls we're talking about here?
Turn to Titus 2, because God spells out the ideal for women, doesn't he?
God, who has a recipe for a healthy, happy family?
Is it the world?
No? Is it that, you know, our sort of, and right now, you know,
some might argue about our sort of capitalist-type government,
is just a quick kind of bit of like, you know, just simple economics for you, yeah?
If you double the workforce in the nation,
guess what big employer doesn't have to pay so much of anymore?
Wages.
If you can con your nation into thinking that somehow all the women
also have to get in the workplace as well,
suddenly you don't have to pay everyone so much
because there's more people vying for less jobs, okay?
And that's, it's just simple economics, let alone the rest of it, right?
But God has a recipe for a healthy, happy family.
Titus 2 and verse 1 says,
But speak now the things which become sound doctrine.
I know we were here, I think maybe in the last one of these,
but we're looking at it a bit differently today.
That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate,
sound in faith, in charity, in patience.
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour,
as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine,
teach the good things.
That they may teach the young women to be sober,
to love their husbands, to love their children,
to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home,
good, obedient to their own husbands,
that the word of God be not blaspheme.
So we looked at some of these other qualities last time,
so we're just focusing right now on being a keeper at home.
Okay, being a keeper at home.
What did he say?
He said that they may teach the young women to be,
he gave a list of things, and one of those was keepers at home.
But what about the career?
What about the career?
What about your family?
What about their family?
I mean, am I saying that women shouldn't be in the workplace?
Well, yeah, pretty much, they shouldn't be in the workplace.
How about that, yeah? No, they shouldn't.
I'm also saying that men shouldn't be keeping at home, though, either.
Yeah, it's not all those poor women.
How about those poor men as well?
Those poor men, I'm saying they're no good at being keepers.
I'm saying that men are no good at putting a pinny on
and looking after the home,
and in the same way, the women are no good at laying bricks
and the rest of it and most of the jobs that are out there.
Okay, yeah, yeah, horses for courses, how about that?
And, look, there are many women out there with successful careers,
but do you know what the majority of those women have?
Failed marriages.
Failed marriages and failed families.
Yeah, failed marriages and failed families and kids that if they,
you know, and the ones that are Christian, the ones that are saved,
have already just been given to the predator, haven't they?
Because how do you have a career as a mum
and still be able to keep an eye on your kids,
like we talked about earlier?
Oh, well, Dad will do it.
Is Dad good at that stuff, though?
You sexist, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, dads are no good at that.
It works both ways, doesn't it?
And I'll tell you what, yeah,
those women who are so fixated on careers
and those girls and those teens and those adults,
those young adults, who all they really are thinking about
and focusing on is their career,
I wouldn't let my sons marry those girls.
They ain't getting my blessing. I say, no way.
No way, because you're going to have a failed marriage.
You're going to have a failed family
and your kids are going to be a failure.
By God's standards.
Not by the world's standards, maybe,
but by God's standards, it will be a failure.
I ain't having it.
It doesn't matter.
Oh, but she's so beautiful.
So what?
Oh, but she's so kind.
So what?
Oh, but she's so clever.
So what?
If she can't put her family first,
she can't put her husband first,
she can't put her kids first,
why would I encourage my sons to marry someone like that?
Is there anything wrong with that?
And look, again, many of us, many women here
and many, you know, we haven't come from this,
from being raised biblically.
Okay, so many people have unfortunately gone in the wrong way
and everything else.
However, we're talking about how we want to raise them
according to God's standard, aren't we?
Now, with that in mind, yeah,
does that mean women shouldn't get an education?
Because we had some clowns here,
again, that we kicked out of our church,
who were coming out with statements like,
what does it matter what my daughter learns
because she's going to be a start-home mum anyway?
Wait a second, who's going to be educating your grandchildren?
Yeah, your daughter, you moron.
Yeah, if they're going to be raising kids
to be able to then go on to good jobs
and be able to raise their kids as well,
they need to be educated, don't they?
So of course we're not saying they shouldn't be educated.
Of course they should be educated, yes.
I want my daughters to be able to be the best possible mum they can be.
And being a mum is harder than almost every job out there.
It's such a hard job, they need preparation for it
and they need an education for it as well.
Keep your finger there and turn to Proverbs 31.
First and foremost, they need to educate their children.
And if they're going to educate their children
to be able to provide for their families, the boys,
and then the girls to be able to then teach their families
and teach their sons to provide,
they all need an education,
they all need to have something between their ears, right?
Secondly, there's still plenty that an industrious woman
at certain seasons of life can do, isn't there?
There is plenty that a young lady or even a not-so-young lady can do.
Proverbs 31, talking about the virtuous woman.
This is like the benchmark.
This is like the kind of dream woman, right?
And if you're trying to find her,
well, it seems that her price is far above rubies, OK?
It's really hard to find.
So don't start giving it an unfair kind of comparison with your wives
or future wives.
However, it says in Proverbs 31 and verse 10,
who can find a virtuous woman for her price is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust her
so that he shall have no need of spoil.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Now, look, she seeketh wool and flax
and worketh willingly with her hands.
No, she's not just chained to the sink.
She's not just washing up and cooking meals
and she's not just on the hoover.
She's working willingly with her hands,
wool and flax and making clothing, making things, yeah?
She's like the merchant ships.
She bringeth her food from afar.
She seems quite industrious, doesn't she?
She's bringing her food from afar.
She's thinking about where she's getting her food in for her household.
She riseth also while it is yet night
and giveth meat to her household and a portion to her maidens.
She's hardworking, isn't she?
I mean, this is a hardworking woman, right?
Yeah, we need to be raising our daughters to be hardworking.
She considereth a field.
We don't want to have like this stereotypical lazy teenage bum, do we?
And no offence, teenagers, I'm sure none of you guys are who are here.
However, we need to be encouraging her to be working hard.
She considereth a field and buyeth it.
With the fruit of her hand, she plants a vineyard.
That sounds like someone with a business mind, doesn't it?
That sounds like a lady with business acumen.
She considers a field and buys it.
With the fruit of her hand, she plants a vineyard, OK?
This woman obviously has a mind on that.
She's not just like, you know,
well, I could even get my head around any of that.
That's all for my husband.
No, look, if that's what works in your relationship, great, yeah?
That's up to you. However, that's not the case with this woman.
She girdeth her loins with strength and strengtheneth her arms.
She's dumbbell curling while she's doing it.
I'm kidding, OK?
She's working those guns.
She's in a vest.
She's not, but you know what, she's hardworking.
She's doing stuff which requires strength.
She's getting strength for real work, isn't she, yeah?
She layeth her hands to the spindle and her hands hold the disc stuff.
So that's what it's talking about, that hard work.
She's making things.
She's industrious, isn't she?
She's stretched out her hand to the poor.
She reached forth her hands to the needy.
What does she do with all that extra money?
She says she is not afraid of the stove for her household,
for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
So it's not for the posh car.
It's not for, you know, to be able to just have all these fine things.
She makes sure that her household are clothed with good quality clothing, yeah?
Because she's industrious, because she's helping out.
She's even able to help with the household income, it looks like.
She maketh herself coverings of tapestry.
Her clothing is silk and purple, again, good quality stuff.
Her husband is known in the gates
when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
She maketh fine linen and selleth it
and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
She's doing some trading as well, okay?
So, look, again, this is all, though,
but what should be her priority?
She's a keeper at home, right, first and foremost.
Goes on.
Strengthen on her clothing,
and she shall rejoice in time to come.
She openeth her mouth with wisdom.
In her tongue is the law of kindness.
She looketh well to the ways of her household,
and eateth not the bread of idleness.
He ain't lazy.
Her children will rise up and call her blessed.
Her husband also, and he prays of her.
Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excelest them all.
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is rain.
But a woman that feareth the Lord,
she shall be praised, give of the fruit of her hands,
and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Right.
Sorry, we missed verse 32.
She leaveth her kids with strangers and pursueth the career.
Oh, no, it didn't say that, did it?
Verse 33.
She submiteth to someone else's husband in the workplace
40 hours a week.
Didn't say that, did it?
So you could, oh, look, look, it's all right,
she goes out to work.
No, but it didn't say that, did it?
It actually said that she was doing industrious things.
Ultimately, really, from home, yeah?
She's running maybe her side business from home.
Nothing wrong with that.
She needed probably a good education for that, didn't she?
She needed to be taught well.
She needed to be able to do all that stuff.
However, she didn't leave her kids and go and sod off somewhere
to tell everyone how intelligent she is and how important she is.
Did she?
She put her family first.
It was about them being clothed properly,
about them being provided for.
She didn't, it didn't say anywhere there that she went
and submitted to someone else's husband, did it?
Because Ephesians 5.22 says,
wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands,
as unto the Lord, like it says time and time again,
also in Colossians as well, and where we are as well, Titus.
Now, you might be sitting there, maybe you are,
maybe you're not thinking, or maybe you will in time to come,
I don't want to teach my daughter to submit to her husband.
What sort of a marriage will she have?
OK, so then just go and teach her to submit to someone else's.
Go ahead, go and teach her to submit to someone else's husband
in the workplace and see how that works out.
For him, for that guy who was stupid enough to employ her
in the first place, for her, for her life,
and I'm not saying it's always going to go down the adultery route,
but I'll tell you what, I don't see any good coming from it.
The Bible doesn't say there's any good coming from it,
the Bible says to submit her to her own husband.
And by the way, that guy that she's going to go and submit to,
oh, because she couldn't submit to her own husband,
that guy she's going to submit to in the workplace,
she's going to want her to clock in and clock out,
he's going to want her to wear a particular outfit probably,
some sort of uniform, he's going to tell her
she has to request when she has a day off,
she can't necessarily always just take a day off when the kids are ill
or something else like that, she's going to have all these things
that she has to do to submit to him,
rather than she could have submitted to the guy
that promised her love for her no matter what.
She could have submitted to the guy that promised that he will love her
and he won't just let her go because the economy's turned
and that he can't afford now to keep her on anymore.
Go back to Titus 2 which said this, in verse 4,
that they may teach the young women to be sober,
to love their husbands, to love their children.
Titus 2.4 we just looked at in verse 5 says,
to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good,
obedient to their own husbands.
The word of God be not blaspheme.
How about that's a great thing to teach your daughters, isn't it?
For a happy marriage because so many women,
so many women find that so difficult
because they've been raised with all the brainwash,
all the stuff about somehow it's so much better
to be inferior and submissive to someone else's husband,
but not to your own.
Look, there's nothing inferior about submitting to your husband, okay?
They're happy to go and do all that stuff in the workplace,
but when it comes to submitting to someone that loves you,
oh, no, no, because that's beneath me, et cetera.
But what about the young men?
Because it's not just women, is it?
We're not just raising women here, we're raising young men as well.
It says young men likewise exhort to be sober-minded,
in all things showing thyself a pattern of good works,
in doctrines showing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity,
sound speech that cannot be condemned,
that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed,
having no evil thing to say of you.
Exhort servants, okay, that's employees,
that's most of the young men out here, okay,
or kids when they become young men,
exhort servants to be obedient unto their own masters.
And to please them well in all things, not answering again.
Are they being obedient to someone that loves them?
No.
Are they being obedient to someone that's vowed to God to love them,
no matter what? No.
Someone's got the rule of a deal here, haven't they?
The young men are being told to be obedient to some,
usually, a lot of the time, throw-wood employer somewhere,
and no one's got a problem with that, have they?
Yet, how many women have a problem with being obedient to the man that loves them?
To the man that's promised to love them no matter what?
To the man that God commands to love them,
and to honour them and cherish them and everything else?
It's bizarre, isn't it? It's bizarre.
Oh, but it's all right for the men to go submit to someone in the workplace.
Said in verse 10,
So, yes, there are many things that a bright, ambitious woman can achieve,
but the priority is loving their husbands and children, isn't it?
OK, that's the priority.
Now, if on top of that, they're able and willing, and, again, at times of life,
maybe as the kids grow older or whatever else,
to be able to help out, you know, with maybe a business from home or something else,
you know, that's up to you guys what you want to do.
And, again, it's all up to you, really, OK?
I'm just going to preach out the word of God.
You can make your minds up what you want to do with that.
And, of course, this is all the ideal, yeah?
Like I said, many first-generation Christians can only do what they can, OK?
Many people here are first-generation Christians.
But I would say that as they get into their teen years,
they should be learning to do all of these things
and to be able to work for the men here, especially for the young boys, yeah?
They need to be able... Just going to flick a switch, yeah?
Lamentations 327 says,
It is good for a man that you bear the yoke in his youth, OK?
Again, once they get to 20, they should be ready and rearing.
Now, I'm not saying... Look, some people go too far with this
and the children just become like the kind of...
They do absolutely everything while they've just got their feet up going.
Isn't it great having kids? They cook, they clean, they do it all.
Look, there's still kids. We just said that.
There's still children at the end of the day.
However, they still need to be trained to be able to go out into the workplace.
I think it's how many people are just bone idle, lazy,
just can't deal with a good, hard day's work.
And they're just... You know, it's like they're allergic to it almost
and so many employers just find it so odd to just find somebody who can work.
And that's, again, a failure of parenting, isn't it?
Because that's something we should be training them towards.
And once they're out of education, they should be into full-time work
and before that, they should be learning how to work, shouldn't they?
They should be learning how to be busy, how to work, how to get on with stuff,
not sitting around playing video games all day.
Biblical parenting teens, number one, teens are children.
Number two, teens are nearly adults.
We're going to finish up soon.
And they appreciate being given a bit more responsibility and choice in life.
Do you know that? Teens do appreciate that, OK?
And you might go, hold on, brother.
I mean, you said no dating.
You said all this stuff that they shouldn't be doing.
You said that you've got to look after and protect them. Yeah.
But there are other areas where they do appreciate making choices.
Remember Proverbs 22, 6 said,
Train up a child in the way he should go
and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
So you're trying to train them up.
Like I said, a lot of practical stuff is important for that
because eventually they're going to be making all their choices, aren't they?
Like, you know, they might get married
and at 20-odd, you might decide, OK, no, this is the right person.
You know, they're going to rejoice with their wife and their youth.
And then suddenly they're making every single choice, right?
So you've got to start to give them some choices to be able to make.
But I would say things like, just off the top of my head,
and again, I'm talking from young teens upwards here, yeah,
but if the wardrobe has appropriate clothing in it,
they can choose what to wear, don't they?
OK, Mum doesn't need to be turning up for the 19-year-old
and going, I've got this out for you to wear today, love, you know, etc.
Yeah, they can make choices, can't they?
But you'd be some other. I'm sure their parents out there are like,
I don't let them choose what they wear.
Look, you don't have to be like that.
If they know how far not to go, they can choose their own haircut, can't they?
As long as they know what not to do, right?
So obviously if you think your daughter might come back with a skin head,
probably not a good idea, yeah?
You think your son's going to come back with like braided hair extensions
or something, then again, probably not a good idea, right?
However, again, it depends on your child, doesn't it?
It depends on your teenager.
It depends, if you're raising one, you're seeing wisdom in them
and you can start to give them choices, can't you, in life,
within reason, leisure time, what to do in some of their leisure time.
It doesn't all have to be set out, you know,
well, I tell you to do that, I tell you to do that, you know,
the 18, 19 year old's just like, you know,
what am I allowed to do today, mum and dad, you know?
So again, it might sound crazy because we see the complete opposite in the world,
but people do then go extreme the other way, don't they?
Foods, what foods sometimes they want to eat,
what skills to learn for their careers.
You don't have to choose their career for them.
You can't give them some choice for that, can't you?
Again, if you're raising them to be wise,
they should be able to be wise into what they want to do,
and again, you need to, obviously, you need to guide them with that as well.
Jobs, et cetera, and again, look, this is just coming from, again,
I don't, my daughter's only just 13, right,
so I haven't gone through these older years,
but I have been a teenager and I've seen a lot of teens
and I've been around a lot of teens and I do kind of,
I think I've got some understanding, some of it,
but I'm sure I've got a lot to learn.
But they are going to be choosing a lot more once they leave in Cleve, aren't they?
Okay, they are, and which leads me on to the final point, okay,
so biblical parenting teens, number one, teens are children,
number two, teens are nearly adults.
When I say, this is a final sub-point, sorry,
teens are nearly adults and will have their own relationship with God, okay?
They will eventually have their own relationship with God.
It's not, they're not just going to be following your relationship with God.
Turn to Jeremiah 1.
Now, our job until then is to first get them saved, obviously, yeah,
but then it's to instil lifelong habits to encourage them to want to serve God, yeah, after that.
But Jeremiah chapter 1 and verse 4, it says this,
Then the word of the Lord came unto me, saying,
Before I formed thee in the belly, I knew thee,
and before thou camest forth out of the womb, I sanctified thee,
and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.
Then said I, Ah, Lord God, behold, I cannot speak, for I am a child.
Now, Jeremiah was, for me, a teenager at this point, yeah?
Look at verse 7, but the Lord said unto me, Say not, I am a child,
for thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee,
and whatsoever I command thee, thou shalt speak.
So he didn't get led along by his parents, did he?
He didn't wait until he had children to start settling down to church life.
Now, he's kind of done his thing on his own as a kind of single young man for a while.
And really, for me, the following bit now just applies to all believers with a great commission, yeah?
He said this, Thou shalt go to, we just saw here halfway through that verse 7,
Thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I command thee, thou shalt speak.
Be not afraid of their faces, for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the Lord.
Then the Lord put forth his hand and touched my mouth, and the Lord said unto me,
Behold, I have put my words in thy mouth,
to see I have this day set thee over the nations and over the kingdoms,
to root out, and to pull down, and to destroy, and to throw down, to build, and to plant.
And we're pretty much doing that every time we go out and preach the gospel, aren't we?
Is that not what we're doing when we're going out and preaching the gospel?
We're rooting, you know, we're rooting out, we're pulling down strongholds,
we're destroying strongholds, we're building, we're planting.
And look, we want our kids to continue to do that in years to come, don't we?
I mean, that's of utmost importance for this church in the future,
is for the kids to be stepping up and doing that, right?
How do we encourage that? Well, turn to Joshua 24.
Whilst they're in your house, you instill the habits, don't you?
The daily Bible reading, the prayer life, the church attendance, the soul winning.
I mean, we have to instill that while they're young,
and then we're hoping that with those daily habits, they're going to continue as they're older.
Joshua 24, 15, famous verse of the Bible.
He says this in Joshua 24, verse 15,
And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom you will serve,
whether the gods which your fathers serve that are on the other side of the flood,
or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell.
But as for me, did he say as for me? I will serve the Lord, and he had something.
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
And look, that's Joshua talking for his house.
And we as men here, that's something we need to think as our kids grow up,
that we're talking for our household, we will serve the Lord.
Yeah, they will serve the Lord, our house will serve the Lord,
because after they move out, you don't get that say anymore.
Maybe you could kind of, you know, try and give them a bit of grief and that again and everything else.
But you won't get that. So teenage years is prime, is it, for instilling those habits into them,
for putting your foot down saying, right, this is what you're doing while you're living with me,
this is what you do while you're in my house.
And then after that, I believe that after that, it kind of comes down to our own testimonies, doesn't it?
After that, you can instill the habits, but you can't force them to love the Lord and want to serve the Lord.
However, your own testimony then will affect them, won't it?
Will we have inspired them enough to want to continue to serve God or will we have chased them away from church life?
Because a lot of what you do and how you behave and how you live and your response to the things of God
is what your kids are going to remember, aren't they?
So are we praising God or are we complaining about the life he's given us?
That's one thing to think about. It's fine going, yeah, my kids, they have to do this, they have to do that,
they have to come out soul winning, they have to read their Bibles, they have to do all this stuff.
But every day I'm just going, oh, man, you know, I'm just so sick and tired of church, I'm sick and tired of this.
You know, I find it so hard. Are they really going to want to carry on and live the life of God?
Oh, you know, it's such a hard life, the Christian life, you know, I wish I was back in Egypt again.
People might not word it like that, but people kind of moan like that, don't they?
The murmuring, the complaining, what does that say to your kids?
It says, you know, you're better off not serving the Lord, doesn't it?
Are we praising God or are we complaining about the life he's given us, parents?
And that's something, thinking about that as we go forward and those when you become parents,
you know, are you going to show the joys of serving the Lord?
Or are you just going to complain about it and then wonder why your kids don't want to follow it?
Are we like the psalmist who said in Psalm 119 35, make me to go in the path of my commandments, for therein do I delight.
This is something you see time and time again in Psalm 119, is the psalmist talking about the commandments,
the testimonies, the statutes, the law. I delight in them. I get joy from them.
I love thy law. I delight in thy law. And is that your testimony at home?
Or is your testimony at home, well, I do what I have to because God tells me I have to.
I don't think you will do without some of that when I get older.
You'd be lucky to see me once a week at church, if that. You'd be lucky to see me at a church.
I'll tell you, I'm going to go down another church. It seems like too much hard work there.
Or are you showing, are you encouraging your kids with the enjoyment of, and there is a lot of enjoyment,
there is a lot of joy from serving the Lord, there's a lot of joy for the word of God, isn't there?
Yeah, yeah, we have to battle. But you know what is satisfying, isn't it?
Is it satisfying serving the Lord, knowing that you're doing something worthwhile with your life and not just chasing vanity?
Delight is contagious, isn't it? But so is disappointment.
They're both contagious and our testimony is what's important, isn't it?
And, you know, many people say, don't they, is that beyond everything you try and tell someone what they do,
tell them to do this, tell them to do that. What do we learn? Most spies just watch you and copy you, don't we?
Yeah. And how we live is going to be important for how we behave and how we respond to living for God is going to make a big difference to our kids.
So biblical parenting, teens, look, two-point sermon, number one, teens are children, number two, teens are nearly adults, yeah?
We've got to try and find that right balance between the two.
Last point on that, yeah, we're all going to fail, you know?
Everyone here is going to have, is going to fail at certain points, yeah, at certain times.
Everyone here is going to have successes, they're going to have failures.
Everyone here is going to do things slightly different. We're not a cult, okay?
We don't have to be, you know, raising eyebrows at people doing something different.
You know, we don't have to be whispering about things and everything else, okay?
No one really knows each other's lives behind closed doors, yeah?
What we want to do is just do the best we can for the Lord, yeah?
Try and do things how the Word of God tells us to do it and ultimately for our kids and for God's sake, yeah?
And with this sort of preaching, you know, I'm always just wary that people then go away and, you know,
and can be sort of a bit, you know, kind of something we get a bit holy in the now with this sort of stuff.
Like parents, it's a nightmare for it. Competitive parenting, absolute nightmare, yeah?
See it everywhere. I've experienced this so much like through the 13 years of being a parent, it's a nightmare.
We don't want to be like that. What we want to do is just focus on ourselves, focus on our own relationship with God,
focus on our children's relationship, obviously in the future with God,
and try and follow what we believe the Word of God says there.
And I think that hopefully I've set out what I believe is the principles of the Word of God with that.
On that, let's brush it off.
Father, thank you for your Word and for, you know, just a clear, some of the many clear principles you give us,
you know, as to how you want us to be, raise our children, what we're raising them towards,
what sort of people we want them to be, what their priorities, their principles, what their, you know, what their goals should be,
what sort of, you know, what sort of things are important and what sort of things clearly aren't.
Help us to get this right as parents. Help us with all our many failings.
Help us. We're imperfect people, Lord. We're all going to get things wrong.
Help us to get things right. Help us to just pick ourselves up every time we do.
Dust ourselves off and keep trying to serve you, keep trying to raise our kids according to your Word, Lord.
Help us to make those tough decisions. Help us also to love our kids as well, Lord, and just want the best for them.
And help us now just to get home safe and sound this evening.
Some people here have come on long journeys, Lord. Help them to just get back in, you know, in good time and safely and soundly.
And help us to all return back here for another day in your house next week.
Jesus know and pray all of this. Amen.