Right, so we're continuing our series, our Sunday evening series that we've been doing
on biblical parenting and just to remind you so far we've had the pregnancy, labour and
postpartum sermon, we had one on babies and then we had one last week on young children
and today we're going to talk about children, surprisingly being a biblical parenting series,
but specifically it's going to be from the sort of formal school age, you know in this
country that's around five years old, up until around the teen years, so we're going
to be doing sort of five to twelve sort of age and then we're going to look at teens
in the next one. So the title is biblical parenting children, I'd like to pray before
we get started with this, so father thank you for your word, thank you for the gift
of children, please help us all to just want to be the best parents we can, if we're not
parents to support those who are and you know just for us all to just want the best for
the children here, they're in heritage of yours, Lord help us to all just respect that
and want what's best and to listen to what your word has to say, Lord just guide me to
just preach clearly and accurately and boldly, in Jesus' name I pray all this, Amen. So children,
by this point, this sort of you know five years old onwards in an ideal world, and that
is an ideal world and many of us have come you know from maybe not doing things right
from the beginning, in the ideal world your child will be able to sit in a church service
hopefully by this sort of age, will understand that there's chastisement in life, we talked
about that last week, will have been raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord,
yeah that's what we talked about last week as well. So what's next, what's next after
this, is that kind of it, you've kind of done the main thing now you just keep going, well
first things first we want to get our children saved don't we, we want to get our children
saved and I would say it's sort of this sort of age bracket where you want to be getting
your children saved and it's not one you know there's not one set age I believe and it is
something that we want to be diligent about as we're going to look in a second we're in
Deuteronomy chapter 6 look at verse 1, Deuteronomy 6 says now these are the commandments the
statutes and the judgments which the Lord your God commanded to teach you that you might
do them in the land whether you go to possess it that thou mightest fear the Lord thy God
to keep all his statutes and his commandments which I command thee thou and thy son and
thy son's son all the days of thy life and that thy days may be prolonged. So the first
commandment is what is to is to put your faith in Christ really isn't it okay that's the
first commandment Acts 17 30 that says in the times of this ignorance God winked at
but now commandeth all men everywhere to repent no not repent of their sins no repent repent
change your mind and put your faith in Christ Jesus okay that's the commandment that's the
first one to follow because without that the rest of it is well it's nothing really isn't
it okay so we want to we want to teach our children that as well how's best to do that
with a five six seven eight year old or somewhere there about do we just talk about God lots to them
and hope they get it just you know we don't want to get too serious we'll just kind of
mention God enough times and they might get there or do we get a kid's book on salvation
or better do with some like pretty colors and everything else and they're going to get it
you know find some sort of sunday school lesson on how to teach the gospel to kids
and then kind of reword it re do we do we make sure we do it from an easier to understand
so-called bible version is that how we preach the gospel to kids no we just preach them the
gospel don't we preach them the gospel and that's the word of God yeah we preach them
the good news which is the word of God because they need the word of God now with that to preach
your children the word of God and to get your children saved you need to be able to preach the
gospel don't you okay that kind of goes as a as a given doesn't it if you if you're going to have
children and you're you're a child of God you need to learn how to help them to become a child
of God as well so first things first you need to know how to preach the gospel and how do we
hone our skills to be able to preach the gospel to those that are most important in our life and
that's the truth isn't it there are people that are very important in our life and I hope your
children are very important in your life is by going out and preaching the gospel so if we're
not going out and preaching the gospel do we really think that we're going to maybe be that
good at it when it comes to preach your children no we need to learn we need to make sure we're
able to preach the gospel and ultimately so that we can get the most important people in our lives
saved as well and obviously look people are important everyone's important every every
soul is important we want to go out and get people saved but you need to be doing that if you expect
to then be able to get your children saved now you think what do you mean get your children saved how
much how much credit are you giving yourself and the parents here brother and well some look you
do need to be able to do it you do need to be able to know where what verses go to how to explain
those verses they do need it explaining to them don't they yeah it is it is the lord yeah it is
the holy spirit but it there is some that there's an amount that you need to do okay that's why Paul
talked about saving people okay look we do go out and get people saved but we couldn't do it without
God and the holy spirit okay so with children though it does it does help to simplify your
explanations doesn't it okay that does help so don't you know for me look when I preach the
gospel to children and sometimes I do when I'm out and about preaching the gospel I'm not going to
preach it exactly the same as I'm going to to maybe a fully grown adult now simplifying is the
explanation is not the bible okay you still need to quote the bible to them they still need to hear
the word of God to get saved however how you explain it is going to be slightly different isn't
it and the words you use and we need to be aware of that and I have been with people before when
they're trying to explain maybe to a child and they're using words I'm thinking that child
doesn't really know what you're talking about you know and we need to be able to to simplify and
that's something and when it comes to our children it's exactly the same isn't it so we do need to be
able to simplify we do need to be able to use language which they're going to understand when
you're explaining those verses but you still need to use those verses you still need to use the word
of God it's it's also important to see what they believe isn't it so and and a key point there is
because there is the issue that and it's not an issue really but we a lot of us here take our
kids out soul winning yeah so your kids go out soul winning from a young age they know what the
answers are they know what they're meant to say and a lot of people look at salvation like a test
and a lot of the time when we go through it we can be like testing testing but that's not how we want
it with our kids do we with our kids we want to make sure that we want to find out what they
really believe and that could be hard can't it with a kid that knows what all the answers knows
what they're meant to say they've heard you give the gospel a hundred times but it's about what
they really believe okay what they really believe not if they could just answer correctly so how do
we know if our kids really believe so maybe you're sitting here and you have done or you're or you're
planning to have kids and you think they're gonna they're gonna know what what what you know what
the bible says they're gonna know what the gospel is how do we know that they really believe that
well i would say look with kids it's important to check up regularly so you might not do that
with with other people so much but with kids it's good to check up regularly to try and
encourage them to be able to be candid with you sometimes we can maybe be too much task masters
and they think that you're just gonna give them a real telling off if they don't say exactly what
you expect them to say but what do they really believe what do your children really believe and
i think that's something that we should be doing regularly with our children because kids can say
the right things but it's what they believe yeah it's what you believe in your heart that's
important isn't it so for me look getting them saved that's important it said in verse 7 and
thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children if there's anyone to be diligent with it's our
own kids isn't it i mean that's important isn't it i mean getting your kids saved is of massive
importance isn't it okay you want to spend spend eternity with them in heaven and look yeah and
like i said they're a heritage of the lord yeah okay they're they're god's children he's given
you to look after the first thing you can do is be able to return them back to him
in a good fit and proper state in the place where you want them to be returning yeah
so diligent with the gospel that comes from practicing the gospel obviously that comes from
from thinking about how you present it to a child that comes by diligently checking what they
believe afterwards as well and and hopefully being able to have a relationship with them
where they're able to talk to you honestly and not just think that you're going to give them
a telling off if they don't say exactly what you expect them to say etc okay what what else are we
to teach them diligently because it's not just salvation is it okay it's not just about salvation
salvation is the first thing or the most important thing at least but our kids need to be taught the
rest of the bible too and whose job is that it's not my job look my job is to preach and teach the
bible from this pulpit but it's every parent's job it said in verse 6 said these words these
words which i command thee this day shall be in thine heart and thou shalt teach them diligently
unto thy children okay it's our responsibility to teach the bible to our children so what does that
mean that means you need to be able to teach the bible don't you parents yeah you need to be able
to teach the bible and and that that's both you know that's both of you okay that's both
you know father and mother and there are many situations i understand that and there are times
that i'll just be a mum they'll turn there just be a dad but whatever it who if you're a parent
you need to be able to teach the bible it's your responsibility isn't it now the preacher should
be teaching the bible as well but some people will maybe just rely on a homeschool curriculum
or rely on sundays and then maybe they got a homeschool curriculum which claims to teach the
bible or something else we're going to talk about that in a in a minute so how does it look how does
it look in a normal family in this day and age teaching the bible and look it's going to be
individual yeah some people have different ways and means that they want to do that and and look
you know and i said this before when when you teach or preach a a sermon series like this look
it gets people's backs up okay that's just the way it is you know you're preaching about
about parenting people just get irritated people you know when it comes to parenting like i joke
before you know mums cancer i can dads they want to find fault in what you're doing they want learn
look myself my wife we get many things wrong we're going to continue to get many things wrong
so you can take what we do with a pinch of salt but if it's something from the bible obviously
you need to be doing your best to follow that but for us this is kind of how it looks so
how it looks like for us for you know we do a whole family thing at the end of an evening meal
okay that works we'll sit down and eat together in the evening and after the evening meal is when
for me you know that's when i teach the bible to my family okay now you might think that works for
you maybe it doesn't work for you maybe you don't get to sit down for an evening and maybe you have
a different setup or whatever else for me that evening meal is a good time after the evening
meal it also ties in what we talked about last week is training up the little ones to be able
to sit through the bible being taught to be able to sit through and you know at the end of the day
i get a bit carried away and end up preaching you know the table gets smashed and you know and i
start shouting and giving exactly you know and i'm like waving my arms around everyone and you know
but so the kids kind of have to get used to that as well and they get used to the bible reading as
well and you know we mix it up a little bit as well and something look you could sit there and
start thinking about a plan and how you're going to teach this to teach that for me the easiest
way is just to go through the bible now we've had a little break from going through the whole bible
and we wanted to do a bit of psalm 119 for a few reasons and just going through each set of eight
verses in there there's so much there's so much in every passage of the bible there's so much there i
mean you could preach you could preach eight sermons off every single one of those those
those passages of eight verses there and that's something we're just doing right now and there's
so much in there and and we'll talk about it and and for me as well i think it's important to try
and get feedback try and get the kids getting involved try and get them talking a bit as well
so they'll hear me preach a little bit but they'll ask some questions and talk about what they think
maybe that verse means and things like that i think that's all important okay so that's that's
how it kind of looks for us however it's not just that my wife also teaches the bible at the
beginning of the school day so obviously we home school my wife starts the day with the bible and
teaches a bible and they're working through different passages of genesis right now
for me when we look at this it's not just once a day and for the ones that can read it also
includes daily bible reading as well so we do want you want to encourage your kids to read the bible
don't you and if they can read they should be reading the bible okay that's important isn't it
so that's how we believe it works for us for you it might be a different setup
but what what it does say here is and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children and shout
talk of them when thou sits in thine house and when thou walkest by the way and when thou liest
down and when thou risest up now that's describing a pretty bible-centered family isn't it
isn't it that's a bible-centered family it says when you sit in your house when you walk by the
way when you lie down and when you rise up okay that's a lot of bible there and i do believe that
you should be ending your day on the bible and we try and encourage that in our family as well even
if it's even if it's one verse or one chapter and i believe you should be starting your day with the
bible as well and if they can read that's that's what they do and then for us it's important that
it's being taught to them as well and if you just go through the bible you're going to cover
everything in the bible aren't you and look that might take you a long time and obviously you're
going to go to a different place when you talk about different things helps us to to understand
what we really believe as well but look if you're not reading the bible and you're not learning the
bible yourself and you're not in church you're not doing the things of god how are you going
to teach your family and it's it's massively important isn't it let alone teach them diligently
diligently okay that's not oh well they come to you oh that's not a once a week diligent that's
that's your day is centered around the bible now what about soul winning what about soul winning
with kids well you know because there's different views on this aren't there for me i just think
don't force it okay don't force it we don't force others in the church do we so if someone
comes into the church you don't go right you're saying you need to be out soul winning okay we
want to encourage them we want to motivate them we want them to want to go out and preach the gospel
but is there any point taking someone else who someone out and forcing them to preach the gospel
who can't who doesn't want to waste their time isn't it and it's the same with the kids oh well
they've been saved this many years are they preaching the gospel yet
well are they going out soul winning that's important and they are handy going out soul
winning aren't they i'll tell you what i love knocking on the door especially when i'm with
another guy and i knock on the door and i've got a cute looking child there it doesn't half help
because there's a difference isn't there when it's just a couple of blokes you knock on the door
no you know shutting the door if they even answer the door you some so often you see the little
peephole shadow don't you or through the thing and that's the last you see you know especially
a couple of burly geezers or something at the door however when you've got a kid there a lot
of the time like come here come here looks like you're in view shot i don't know opens the door
you lovely young child oh no they're preaching the gospel but it does help doesn't it and kids
are great for that and if they're coming out and they look they are great help to preach the gospel
we don't have to force them to preach it yeah it's nice to encourage if you feel that maybe
they're inclined to do so different kids are different aren't they some kids are confident
and want to talk other kids aren't so confident it could take a while we don't want to force that we
what we're trying to train them up to do is want to serve god don't we now on the same hand we are
still we are still raising those kids in the way they should go so it's like oh we just want them
to so if they just decide they don't want anything to do with god tough okay tough you live under my
roof you come to church you serve god you read your bible you listen to the bible being tall
and you'll come out soul winning okay however i'm not going to force them to then write you've got
to stand there and preach the gospel everything else they want to be great if they don't they
don't yeah there's a balance isn't there to everything okay so okay there's other things
that we don't want to go too far with here we saw verse seven it said and thou shalt teach them
diligently unto thy children shall talk then when thou sits in thine house when thou walkest by the
way and when thou lies down and when thou risest up now there's two extremes some people will be
bare minimum some people it's a quick verse and that's it for the day but others can then go to
the extreme the other way and it's like right the only things you can read learn you know or anything
it's only the bible everything been it all been the toys been any other educational books you
know if you're not that if you're not in the bible all day what else do you need you know thy words
are lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path you don't need anything else in life however most
people don't live like that themselves but some some by all accounts expect maybe their children
to do so yeah or other people in a church maybe to do so they might get a bed if they're lucky
you know it's like the rest of the time it's bible book bible but verse seven doesn't say
and thou shalt teach only them does it it said it said and thou shall teach them diligently
unto thy children did it send that shall only teach them and shout talk of them when thou
sits in thine house did it say and shut talk only of them when thou sits in thine house
did it send and thou shalt talk only of them when they walk us by the way and when they last
everyone it doesn't say that does it so people love to read things in and try to read a passage
He's like, that's it, it's Bible, Bible, Bible, nothing else.
What sort of worldly kids are you going to raise otherwise?
But that's not the truth, isn't it?
Because, look, our kids, we want well-rounded kids
and no one here is able to just spend their whole life
just only reading the Bible
and only doing the things of God, okay?
That's not realistic, okay?
And God doesn't say to do that either.
However, look, we do want to be wise
with what they spend their time doing though, don't we?
Okay, so on one hand,
we don't want to just go ridiculous with it
and you get that with like, you know,
obviously new Christians sometimes getting that.
It's just like, okay, right, that's it.
Everything else is worldly, everything else is wicked,
everything else is of the devil.
But on the other hand,
there are things that are of the devil, yeah?
And there are things that are wicked
and there are things we want to protect our children from.
So what do they spend their time doing?
Obviously TV, I don't, you know,
maybe I need to preach it
because sometimes you just think,
you just take it for granted that people know
that the TV is just full of absolute trash.
It's wicked and it doesn't matter if it's for kids,
that, you know, if it's a kids,
oh, well, it's a kids show.
It's all right, it's on whatever, I don't know,
what are the kids, CBBC.
I mean, would anyone trust any BBC employee with your child?
So why are you going to trust them
just talking to your child through a box for hours on end?
And so many people do, don't they?
Just shove them in front of the TV.
So obviously, what was the other, CITV?
They're all the same lot, aren't they?
What TV producers work in studios
with Jimmy Savile and the rest of them?
It's just all wicked.
And it's not always just that angle either.
There's so much different stuff
that gets pushed and promoted through the TV, okay?
And the stuff with Disney is just one small,
oh, well, at least it's not Disney.
That's just one small part, how wicked that company is
and the sorts of filth that they promote
through their shows, through their cartoons,
everything else, okay?
It's not okay.
And look, I understand, as a mum sometimes,
it can be hard, look, not just sometimes,
it can be a hard job, okay?
It can be a hard job.
And sometimes it does feel like it would be easy
just to shove them in front of the TV
because they do go quiet
while they're just kind of zoned in on the TV
and whatever's flashing,
and you're not checking all of that.
Because if you're sitting there with them,
you might as well be doing something constructive.
And I understand some people use it
as almost a kind of a childcare occupying option,
but there's so much wickedness coming through that TV.
It's not acceptable, really.
You know, look, they're in heritage of the Lord.
Now, look, you can be selective.
I'm not saying, nowadays I don't see
you can be selective with live TV.
I just don't, I don't understand how you can.
However, you can, you can be selective
if you really feel like, oh, now and again,
I want to show them this or show them that.
And you can look into things
and you can maybe vet something first
or understand and know what you're teaching them,
what they're going to watch,
what they're going to listen to.
If you want them to watch the odd thing,
look, I'm not going to go,
right, anything you show on a screen,
because again, that's probably unrealistic.
And most people here don't practice
what they preach then, do they?
Because most people here watch things on a screen.
Most people will hear,
and don't try and pretend it's only sermons and hymns.
Okay?
There'll be clips of things.
There'll be other things.
There might be a documentary
that you think that your kids might like.
There might be a cartoon that you think,
actually, I think this is pretty innocent.
Yeah?
And if you believe that, that's up to you.
But we want to be wise about this, don't we?
Because there's a lot of wickedness.
Games, computer games.
Are all computer games wicked?
No, not all ones.
I don't think that it's a sin to play a computer game.
However, a lot of computer games are wicked.
And it is a very addictive thing as well.
And a lot of hours of the day are wild away doing what?
Killing people on a computer game or whatever else on it.
And oh, well, it's not violent, it's all right.
Yeah, but how many hours?
It's a vanity, isn't it?
However, if that's something you think you can keep a lid on
and that's something you want to do, that's up to you.
I don't think it's very wise.
I think that it's very addictive.
I think you're probably setting kids up
for kind of years of their life
just wasted playing computer games.
But again, you need to be wise about what they do play,
if you're going to let them do that sort of thing,
and how many hours they spend doing it.
For me, I don't think it's a good idea.
Internet as well, you know,
just letting them have free reign on the internet
is a big risky business, isn't it?
How much filth and smut and wickedness
and all sorts of crazy stuff is on there.
But here's another one
that people don't think about a lot, books.
Oh, it's a book, it's all right.
You never come from that sort of background.
People say that.
Oh, well, it's all right, it's a book.
Oh, well, as long as they read books,
because now they're very intellectual.
Are all books okay?
Hey, and look, books,
I mean, you get absorbed in a book.
Yeah, you read a book,
and you read a book that you actually like,
and you think, especially a novel or something
we're talking about here.
Look, suddenly you're in that whole world
for how many days that book takes.
And that's kind of a lot of the time
all people could think about,
and that's all they're thinking about,
all they're immersed in.
And look, yeah, there are some okay books,
but I think for some, you maybe need to limit it,
because if that's all they do is read books,
or what really are they being taught through that book?
I've noticed with kids a lot of the time,
it's so much about animals, isn't it?
Oh, lovely, what could go wrong?
All stories about animals talking,
animals doing this, animals acting like people.
You'll end up raising some vegans, though, aren't you?
Seriously?
Because a lot of it, that's what it is.
All the cartoons, it's all animals, animals, animals,
and then they're almost seeing animals like people.
And that's not a good thing, is it?
Now, look, they want to read the odd book.
Again, you need to be careful with it.
You need to be selective, they get addictive as well.
So it's a minefield, isn't it, really?
There is a bit of a minefield.
A good kind of thing is moderation with things, isn't it?
But being aware, being wise,
and sometimes you gotta have some battles with your kids.
And there's only one winner, by the way, when we say battle.
It should be a quick battle,
but sometimes you gotta have battle.
Now, it's not just Bible and leisure time, is it?
Okay, that's not raising kids, is it?
Because there's something quite important as well,
and that's schooling them.
And obviously, I talked last week about the school system,
and for some, that's not an option for whatever reason.
But for me, look, if I stand behind this pulpit
and we're gonna talk about raising children and schooling,
for me, the biblical way is homeschooling, okay?
We are there to raise our children, okay?
We're there, they're given to us, not to the school system,
not to the state, to raise our children.
Okay, however, for some, that won't always work
for whatever reason, and they can't always do that.
If you're able to, you should be homeschooling.
Now, believe it or not,
there are things to learn beside the Bible.
I know, shock, horror, isn't it?
But there are, there will be those holier than thou's
out there who are like,
oh, you don't need to read anything apart from the Bible.
You don't need to learn anything apart from the Bible.
Well, it's not instead of, but it is alongside, isn't it?
There's stuff that they need to learn alongside the Bible.
The law in the UK is this.
The parent of every child of compulsory school age,
that's five to 16, shall cause him to receive
efficient full-time education,
suitable to his age, ability, and aptitude,
and to any special educational needs he may have.
And this is either by regular attendance
at school or otherwise.
Look, we're well within the law,
well within our rights to homeschool our children, okay?
Because I know some people are a bit unsure about it,
and what's the, the only time you need to inform a school
is if you've already had them at school.
Okay, it's not their business, yeah?
But we should, look, we don't want to be,
again, we don't want to be like a slant
on the name of Christ.
We want to raise our kids properly, don't we?
We want to educate our children.
We want to give them knowledge.
We want to give them understanding of other things as well.
But we obviously, it's alongside the word of God, isn't it?
So, okay, so you're schooling, piece of cake, right?
How hard could it be, yeah?
Wrong!
You're wrong, okay?
It's not always easy.
And look, now welcome to the minefield of curriculums.
You've got a five, six, seven, eight,
whatever it is, your old child.
You've got the minefield of curriculums,
what to choose, what not to choose,
what to, kind of, whether you mix and match
or whatever else.
You've got the minefield of multiple children
of different ages, different understanding,
at the same time, babies and toddlers
thrown into the mix as well.
No, that's beyond, look, 30 kids of the same age
in a school is, it is child's play.
Compared with suddenly you've got different ages,
different kids, different, sort of, needs and abilities
all at the same time,
all in a limited amount of time in a day.
And if you're picturing days in the meadow
with everyone content,
because you signed up to a few homeschooling forums
on Facebook and everyone seems to be just,
it all just so swimmingly and everything else,
you're gonna be let down.
You're gonna have disappointment
because it's not always like that.
Now, another one people picture
is this, sort of, beaming, aproned mum.
Yeah, who's just, kind of, there,
just everything's so calm and serene
and she, kind of, everything's in between outdoors
and indoors and she's just baking from fresh,
those perfect meals for her husband, desserts and all,
you know, everything from scratch.
Well, the kids are just working away
and she's teaching one here while she's stirring,
you know, the, well,
that's not the reality.
That's not the reality.
It's hard.
It's a slog sometimes.
Some days are tough, you know?
And if you don't expect that,
you're gonna be in for a bit of a shock
because there is a lot,
and there are those that wanna pretend
and act like it's just this, kind of,
perfect dream and that's not true, okay?
And everyone, if you really get to the bottom of it,
it can be tough, yeah.
So, what you need to do, though,
is accept that it's gonna be hard work, okay?
It is gonna be hard work.
However, there are varying degrees of homeschool.
So, again, people think, well, homeschool,
does that mean that you just sit down
and now you've just gotta work out what to teach kids?
Where do you even start?
Or others just, you know,
and you can do that, by the way.
Yeah, that's up to you.
You wanna sit there and work it all out yourself
and make it all up as you go along, you can do that.
That's kind of one end of the scale.
And then you've got literally the opposite end of the scale
where it's really online school, okay?
And there's something that was quite,
that's been kind of popular,
was a bit around our church as well.
And again, that's up to you if that's what you wanna do.
For me, it's still better than school,
which was, I think, the Rebecca Online curriculum,
which was basically kids sitting there
and being taught by someone online.
Now, again, it's still at home and it's still schooling,
but it's a bit different to teaching
and training your kids up yourself.
But again, if that's what you wanna do
or that's how you see it works for you, that's up to you.
Look, I'm not gonna tell you what you can
and can't do there.
But you've gotta understand
that there's like two ends of the scale with it.
And you need to work out what sits right with you
and what you can do.
And obviously, we're not a cult here
because we did have a bit of kind of, you gotta do it.
The Rebecca thing was kind of the push thing for a while,
yeah, among certain people at our church
and kind of suddenly half the church
was all doing the same thing.
And look, if that's what you wanna do, cool.
But it was really online school, okay?
So how'd you make your mind up with it?
Well,
for me, a lot of it's trial and error.
Okay, look, by all means, talk to other parents,
see what works for them, see what doesn't.
Look in the curriculums.
But a lot of it, you just start trying them out.
You start looking and that could be hard,
something that could be expensive as well.
So you're getting them shipped from America
and there's not really very good homeschool
kind of stuff here.
And you've got like the ACE, but the ACE, again,
they're kind of just being taught by the workbook.
It's not really you either.
It's kind of not much different in a way
to the Becca being the online school,
it's kind of workbook school.
And they're just going through it.
And theoretically, the way they're meant to do it,
you're not even really meant to mark it or anything.
They're meant to mark themselves.
And kind of that's, again, that one end of the scale.
And then you've got the other where people
are kind of mixing and matching
and taking this and taking that.
But with it, you do what you feel you can do,
what works for you, what works for you as a mum,
what works for you as a dad, what works for your kids,
what you think they're responding to, et cetera.
But you need to accept that it's hard work,
whatever you do, okay, however you do it.
Proverbs 29, 15 says,
the rod and reproof give wisdom,
but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
And although that's a good principle
for every area of parenting,
I think as well it's a good thing to think about
when you're schooling your kids.
If they're kind of just left with a workbook,
online, whatever else,
for multiple hours of the day kind of on their own,
I don't think that's a good recipe
for success in the future.
The Bible does say a child left to himself
bringeth his mother to shame, okay?
So I do think you want to have,
you need to be, there needs to be some amount of hands-on,
what level that is is up to you,
what you think you can do
and what you think you're able to do.
Okay, so what else there?
There's Christian curriculums,
there's so-called Christian curriculums,
and then there's kind of everything else as well
and everything outside of that.
And again, it's just individual with it, isn't it?
You could choose a Christian one and think,
yeah, okay, I want them,
at least that gives me a good solid guideline for that.
I need to make definitely double check
what they're teaching with that,
whether the repent of your sins pops out or anything else.
Oh, well, my child saved, it's all right.
Yeah, but it's not, is it?
We don't want to expose our kids to loads of false doctrine,
especially from an area where they're meant to be
respecting the teaching they're getting, yeah?
Okay, you don't want to start putting that doubt
and confusion and everything else in mind.
So you can look for that
or you could go for completely the opposite.
You could go for something that's non-Christian at all,
but then if you do, either way,
you need to make sure you're teaching them the Bible.
So if your homeschool curriculum
is doing it from a Christian worldview,
call if you can make that work.
However, you need to still make sure
you're diligent in teaching
because it's your responsibility,
not your homeschool curriculums, right?
So make sure you're still teaching them the Bible.
Okay, so it could be a bit of trial and error.
Now, however, and whatever you choose,
with all of it, forget the curriculum, forget all,
you just want your day to be
as Christ-centered as possible, don't you?
So starting the day with the Bible is great,
finishing the day with the Bible is great.
Getting your kids to have some responsibility
for their own Bible reading is great.
You need to check up with that as well, though.
Sometimes they start to fall out of a habit with it
if you're not on them with it.
And then you need to make sure that whatever you're doing,
you want Christ in the middle of it, don't you?
Okay, so that's homeschooling.
And look, there's so much you could do with that.
It'd take you 100 sermons to go through everything with it
and all the pitfalls, all the issues, everything else.
However, ultimately it is individual, isn't it?
It's an individual decision to do it in the first place.
And like I said last week, we don't want to be then
trying to put it on people that don't for whatever reason.
It's up to them.
Yeah, I'm going to preach what I think is a biblical way,
but it's up to parents individually.
And we don't know everyone's situation
and what they can and can't do for many different reasons.
Right, let's keep going.
Verse seven says,
And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children,
and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house,
when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down,
and when thou risest up.
And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand,
and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house,
and on thy gaze.
Okay, so they're learning the Bible
and learning reading, writing, maths, history, geography,
hopefully real science, not falsely so-called.
And obviously with that, by the way,
you still want to show them what's being taught.
No, we want to teach them real science.
We want to teach them the truth.
There's nothing wrong with teaching them
what everyone else believes, is there?
I think some people think
they've got to shield them from everything.
And well, how are they going to deal
with these people in the future?
Be like, what?
I never even knew anyone believed that.
I mean, they'd be absolutely shocked, wouldn't they?
So I do think it's good to teach them
what the other kids are being taught,
but make sure you're able to show
what a load of nonsense it all is.
And you do that by the word of God when it's nonsense.
Okay, so we want to teach them that as well.
Okay, so is that it?
Is that it then?
Is that homeschooling?
Yeah, you've done the academics.
You taught them, you got them saved.
You're teaching them the Bible.
That's it, isn't it?
Well, we're raising them for life though, aren't we?
Yeah, what are we raising them for?
It's when they are old, they will not depart from it, okay?
So we're raising them and the majority of their life,
God willing, will be adulthood, won't it?
So we're raising our kids for adulthood.
Most boys will one day be leading a family, won't they?
Most boys will.
Most girls will one day be running a home.
So that is part of having God's word
diligently taught to them, isn't it, is how to do that,
is to want that as well,
is to understand that that's God's will for their life,
and then how to do that as well,
how to lead a family, how to run a home.
Turn to 1 Timothy 4.
The boys need to be taught skills for life, don't they?
How to work hard, how to persevere,
how to take tough times.
And for me, sport and exercise really help with that.
Okay, I believe they really help.
They help for how to deal with
when you're absolutely exhausted
and you need to keep going, okay?
Competitive sport really helps with that.
They help you deal with not always feeling
everything's just comfortable and never being out of breath,
never having aches, never having...
They help teach you that, okay?
Now, yeah, you could teach a child that yourself.
I'm not saying you have to say,
all right, that's it, I'm going to send them down
you know, down to the local club and leave them to it.
I would encourage you to be hands-on with it as well.
And you can be hands-on and be a part of it.
It's not like you just, oh, all right,
I'm going to have to be locked away for two hours
with who knows who.
That's not really how it works in most sort of sports.
But I do believe they're important.
Look at 1 Timothy 4 and verse 7, it says,
but refuse profane and old wives' fables
and exercise thyself rather unto godliness.
For bodily exercise profiteth little,
but godliness is profitable unto all things,
having promise of the life that now is
and of that which is to come.
So primary point here is that godliness
is the most important thing, okay?
You can't miss that, can you?
However, did it say that bodily exercise doesn't profit?
Did it say that?
Bodily exercise doesn't profit, does it say that?
No, bodily exercise profiteth little.
Still profits a little, doesn't it?
And kids can learn many things for me from sport,
general health for one, okay?
Just health as a, look, and again, you know,
for me, we don't have to always go to studies and things,
but I remember one from a while back
that people that did sport as a youngster
were much more likely to be basically fit and healthy
when they're older, okay?
Because you just get used to it, you get used to it.
You get someone, I used to coach a lot,
and you get someone that never did anything,
and like, being out of breath is like,
for them, they just can't even imagine it.
You know, you kind of, they get a little bit,
they just like want to stop,
where as soon as they feel a little ache in their muscles,
and you're thinking, you could go a lot,
you could push a lot harder than that.
I mean, you've barely done anything.
You only skip for about 30 seconds and you're done,
you know, as you see it.
And look, it teaches us to be able to go through that,
and that's a good lesson for life as well, isn't it?
A lot of the time, you're tired in life, yeah?
There's a lot of hard times in life.
So, however, yeah, godliness is the important thing,
isn't it, because it's not more important than godliness.
So, how does that work?
Well, you know, for one thing, are you gonna go,
right, well, I need my kids doing sport.
I'm gonna take my son to Sunday rugby.
No, because godliness is profitable under all things.
Yeah, the bodily exercise profiteth little, okay?
You're not gonna then swerve the things of god, are you,
for the sport, for the exercise.
But people will do that, won't they?
Okay, but we're not gonna do that, okay?
So, for me, my boys won't be playing any rugby
because it's all on a Sunday.
So be it.
It's rugby league from a teenager on a Saturday.
That's kind of a little bit less queer anyway, so.
Thought I might have a look at that when they're a bit older.
But, however, you know, again,
that's something that I think they're gonna learn.
Lesson's gonna be good for them.
That's my decision on that.
And then you can make your own decisions on that,
but it does profit little, okay?
So there is some profit in it.
Another one.
Are you gonna take your kids to some sort of sports team
or sports club or whatever it is,
get them doing something where they have to cross-dress?
You're not gonna do it, are you?
Because godliness is more important.
So I'm not gonna take my girls somewhere
where they then have to dress like a man
to compete in the sport.
So if the sport means they have to dress like a man,
I don't wanna take them.
I don't wanna take the boys somewhere
where they have to wear, like,
things revealing their nakedness being their thighs
and their short shorts and all that.
I don't wanna take them there.
Okay, so you, again, be selective with it.
There's plenty of sports where they don't have to
look like some sort of, well, you can imagine, yeah?
Because these things are weird.
And again, same with the swimming.
Oh, well, you know, they have to be swimming,
so therefore, you know, they're gonna wear speedos
or the girls are gonna wear next to nothing.
But again, they can wear swim skirts.
The girls, the boys can wear shorts.
And if they can't, go find somewhere else.
Again, if that's what you choose to do.
Now, some argue, oh, well,
what about other people's nakedness and stuff?
Look, I would say if they're kids
and they're going swimming,
personally, I would probably still take them swimming.
Maybe as they start getting adults
or the kids start turning to teens,
maybe not so good an idea to be around a load of other teens
or semi-dressed and everything else.
I don't think that's probably a good idea,
but I think from young,
I think from when they're young
and they're dressed modestly and everything else,
I don't personally think that's a problem.
Again, that's up to you with that.
But here's another one.
If a young boy is eventually gonna lead
and protect a family,
wouldn't it be sensible for him to have some ability
to protect his family?
Because again, some people like to get holier
than now on this one.
Oh, you know, they never need to be able to fight.
What a nonsense.
Do you see what it's like out there?
Like, it's a good ability.
Do you wanna lead and protect your family?
Look, I'm not saying you have to be like, you know,
the best martial artist in the world
or the best, you know, whatever form of fighting around,
but it's probably quite handy to be able to at least,
even if you just know how to smash someone
over the head with a bat.
And I don't maybe go out and do practical practice with that,
but at least have some,
have some, and be able to actually pick something,
have some coordination.
Be important, wouldn't it?
Yeah, and maybe actually some ability
to throw a punch would be handy, wouldn't it?
Some ability to do so.
It's sensible, wouldn't you think?
Yeah.
Does anyone think all the men of the Bible
just didn't have a clue how to fight?
They all knew how to fight, because they were men.
Yeah, and throughout history, men have had some ability
and some will and want to learn how to fight.
It's just natural, it's normal, isn't it?
But people like to try and find fault in that one,
because it doesn't fit in with the world's
false version of Christianity and everything else.
And look, we shouldn't be going out picking fights,
but is there anything wrong with training your sons to box?
To kick box, tie box, to grapple?
Jiu jitsu, judo, wrestling?
Anything wrong with that?
Hell no!
For me, that's important, yeah, that's important.
I want my kids to be able to protect their wives.
I want them to be able to protect their families.
I want them to be able to have the confidence
to know that at least they can protect themselves.
Because without that, what are we raising?
Load of little lily-livered, little pansy,
limp-wristed kids that are going to be hiding
behind their wife's skirts.
Go and protect me, protect me.
And the same people that try and judge that sort of stuff,
the same people who straight away,
if you go do something, this guy's stormed in the church,
he's drunk, he's throwing things around like ladies,
deal with it, it's madness, isn't it?
Yet, how many people get pulled into that nonsense?
So for me, I think that's probably an important part.
Look, we're training for life, aren't we?
Yeah?
How often are they going to do algebra in later life?
A lot of them won't.
Yeah, I still think they should learn maths
and see if that's something they're inclined to,
see if their brains are good with that,
maybe they're going to a job with that.
But I tell you what, more important,
how often might they have to protect their family?
Nowadays, probably more often
than they're going to ever do at algebra.
Yeah, how many will be like,
oh, I've got to make sure they do all the schoolwork,
but I've got no interest at all
in teaching my son how to throw a punch
or how to defend himself or defend his family.
Madness.
Mark 3.27, you don't have to turn there,
Jesus said, no man can enter into a strong man's house
to spoil his good, except he will first bind a strong man
and then he will spoil his house.
I mean, Jesus acknowledged it, didn't he?
He got a strong man there and I'm not talking about,
you know, someone who's, you know, bodybuilding every day,
I'm talking about real strength, yeah.
That just comes from sport, doesn't it?
Sport, manual work, just doing manly things,
learning how to fight, do all the stuff
that we as men are inclined to do.
And look, they're not going to be able to do it
unless they bind him first.
If it's not a strong man, sadly, for many places,
it would be more likely they need to bind a woman first.
And that's a sad state of affairs, isn't it?
Okay, so it would be wise
to teach your boys some life skills, okay?
Get them doing manual work and look,
that's real strength, isn't it, manual work, okay?
Look, don't get them standing there,
standing in front of a mirror, lifting weights up,
get them doing something manual, okay?
Get them doing real stuff, lifting, carrying,
grafting in the garden,
get them doing some of the garden work,
get them doing some of the heavy lifting,
get them doing the stuff which is going to help
build strength and get them used to being strong.
Turn to 1 Timothy 5.
Obviously, we want them to be spiritually strong though too.
It's not instead of godliness.
The godliness is the most important thing, yeah?
Okay, turn to 1 Timothy 5, yeah?
So how about the girls?
Are we teaching them for the workplace?
Are you raising your daughters for the workplace?
I hope not, because that's not what the Bible says, does it?
Oh, well, I better just raise it for the,
there's a backup plan.
Backup plan to what?
Why are we raising,
why are we raising our daughters for the workplace?
The Bible says, wives, submit yourselves
unto your own husbands.
Now, listen, there are people I understand
that are in whatever situations and predicaments
and lifestyles and everything else,
where they're not able to do things as the Bible says.
Okay, however, I don't want to raise my daughter
to go and submit herself to someone else's husband,
because I think that's a recipe for disaster,
and that's not what we're raising our daughters to do.
Now, 1 Timothy 5.14, Paul is speaking about young widows.
Okay, does he say, right, time for them to get to work?
Is that what Paul says in 1 Timothy 5.14?
He says, I will, therefore.
He's like, well, they're widowed.
You know, it's time to get out grafting.
No, he says, I will, therefore,
let the younger women marry,
bear children, guide the house,
give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully,
for some already turned aside after Satan.
Now, here's the thing.
Is it, oh, well, that was back then.
There were no jobs.
What did you think there were no jobs?
Women have been working ever since.
In loads of different cultures,
there's been jobs that women do.
No, it's because that's not God's will for women.
And these women are widowed.
However, he's still saying, no, he wants them to remarry,
to bear children, to guide the house,
to give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully,
for some already turned aside after Satan.
So what do we want to do?
We want to teach our daughters how to choose the right man.
We want to teach our daughters what sort of men
they want to be looking for and choosing
and help them with that.
And hopefully, as Dad's being an example,
as what sort of thing they should hopefully see in a man,
parenting techniques, yeah?
And look, are they going to learn that
if they're spending how many hours a day at school?
No, they're not.
But they're going to learn parenting techniques
at home, aren't they?
And obviously, if they are at school
and you can't help that, then you need to be making sure
that they're learning parenting aside from that, right?
How to guide the house, that is hard.
That's a tough job.
And that's a job that we have to give respect for, don't we?
Because so many of us, or so many, at least in the world,
will look at it like it's degrading.
All we can do is go, oh, that is such a tough job.
And most of those trouser-suit-wearing,
masculine females out there couldn't last a day
doing what most of the women in this church do.
They couldn't do it for a day,
let alone do it for day on day, week after week,
month after month, year after year.
It's such a tough job.
And they need training and help to get it,
because for many of our wives here,
they kind of suddenly jumped into that,
having maybe not come so much in that background.
And it's tough.
And look, as much as you, yeah, it's good,
look, your daughters still need to learn academic stuff.
Why?
Because they're going to teach their kids, aren't they?
If your daughters don't know how to, you know,
don't know their times tables,
how on earth are they going to teach your sons
and daughters after, their sons and daughters after then?
They're not, are they?
Look, they need to learn all that,
but they also need to learn how to look after a home.
Techniques for doing that, ways of doing that,
that's massively important, isn't it?
Because we're raising them for life.
Now, with that, kids need to learn to work, okay?
They need to learn to work, don't they?
They need to learn to be busy.
I've said this before, you're just going to flick a switch.
Flick a switch at 18, 19, 20, 25, whatever it is,
when they're going to get a job.
Oh, right, you know, now they know how to look.
They need to learn to work from young.
However, they're still kids
and they still need time to be kids too.
So some people can go too far with that
where literally the kid's just working, you know,
from sort of, you know, 7 a.m. till 7 p.m. at night
and then off to bed.
That's not fair either, okay?
That's not fair.
Okay, so turn to Titus 2,
which gives a nice summary of our goals
for our boys and girls with biblical parenting.
So we're looking at that five to sort of teen age.
And look, this is like foundational stuff now, isn't it?
You're not going to flick a switch with a 13 year old
and go, right, now it's time to do some chores
around the house.
And you know what, when they're really young,
in fact, before this, they're quite up for it, aren't they?
Ever notice how helpful your little
one, two, three year olds are?
They want to do everything.
And you don't really want to limit that.
Oh no, no, I couldn't have you doing it.
I couldn't have you putting something in the bin.
You pull it, just be a child.
And then suddenly they're a teenager
and they don't want to do any of that, okay?
So we want to encourage that.
And sometimes you need to be a bit more forceful
with your encouragement with that.
And again, get that balance right that you think's fit.
Okay, so we're turning to Titus 2.
And it does give a nice summary here, okay?
Because we can get focused so much on the curriculum,
the academics, the job, maybe even the sport, okay?
Or whatever it is that becomes your focus
and many people lean a certain way.
But Titus 2, I think, gives us a nice kind of summary
of really what our goal is because it's who they are,
their character that's most important, isn't it?
And obviously with that, you know,
there's a lot that goes hand in hand.
Let's look at Titus 2 and verse one, it says,
but speak thou the things which become sound doctrine,
that the aged men be sober, grave, temperate,
sound in faith, in charity, in patience.
The aged women likewise that they be in behaviors
becometh holiness, not false accusers,
not given to much wine, teachers of good things.
That they may teach the young women to be sober,
to love their husbands, to love their children.
Now we're going to come back to this verse in a minute.
Verse five says to be discreet, chaste,
which is basically sexually pure, keepers at home, good,
obedient to their own husbands
that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Okay, and that's some good things to teach, isn't it?
Discretion, discretion is a good thing to teach, isn't it?
Okay, teach them not to just be, you know, the local gossip.
Teach them not to be someone that says blabbering
everything and anything,
teach them to have some discretion, okay?
That's a good thing to teach your child.
That's a good thing to teach anyone, isn't it?
And for me, more important than probably many things
that people focus on, the chastity here.
Because you get someone to be like so proud of my daughter,
you know, earn so much money in the workplace, you know,
boasting about my daughter does this,
submitting to whatever person's husband it is
to some men in the workplace.
I mean, she's a bit of a whore, but it doesn't really matter
because that's the attitude out there, isn't it?
Oh, she's a bit of a whore,
but so what because she owns a lot of cash?
So what because she's so gorgeous, you know?
So what because whatever it is, a worldly sort of,
oh, this is such a great standard to go.
But how about she has some chastity?
How about that?
That is a great goal, isn't it?
And that's something, again, you can train at home,
you can train by talking about these sorts of things
and explaining and showing and giving the example
of all these just wrecked lives
from those that aren't, that don't have that.
Didn't have that.
Oh, she's so good at algebra.
Oh, my daughter's so intelligent,
but she can't boil an egg.
She can't boil an egg, but she's so clever.
I mean, that should be a shame, shouldn't it?
And that's something that we should then, you know,
if that is you and you think,
yeah, maybe my daughter can't boil an egg,
do she want to boil an egg?
Boiled eggs are nice, yeah?
Salt and pepper, especially.
Okay, so yeah, we want to be teaching them skills for life.
You know, she's so beautiful and manicured.
Oh, look at my little sweetheart.
Look at her, she's so beautiful.
She's a teen now.
She's an adult.
She's, you know, she's got her fingernails perfect.
Her hair's beautiful.
She's got it all.
Look at her, she looks like a model,
but she can't submit to her husband.
She cannot submit to one thing
because she thinks she's so special.
It's a failure, isn't it?
Is she going to have a happy life?
It'll be a disaster.
Oh, well, no, it's all right.
She'll just find some doormat for her husband.
Is she going to be happy?
She's not going to be happy.
Some guy that she walks all over and bosses around
and slaps around the place.
She ain't going to be happy, is she?
Look at verse six.
She's not just a woman.
Young men likewise exhort to be sober-minded.
OK, so that's both sober as we would call it
in our day and age, obviously,
but I would say even-tempered as well,
not emotions out of check,
not someone who's just kind of, you know,
emotions, you know, just all over the place
because he could be the cleverest guy around,
have the best.
You've given him such a great scheme,
paid for the best curriculum or maybe even
you sent him to school and, you know,
they had the best kind of tutor or whatever else,
but no good if he just keeps losing his temper
at everyone and anything.
No good if he just, you know, just is an emotional wreck.
Anytime hard things happen, he just can't deal with it
and he just completely switches or whatever else.
In all things showing ourself a pattern of good works
in doctrine showing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity.
And the point here is this is what we're training them for.
We're training them for this.
You go, oh, isn't this talking about the aged men
and the aged women teaching the younger ones?
Yeah, but we're training this
so they don't need to be taught that.
This is our goal, isn't it?
This is our goal for our children, yeah?
So he said, in all things showing ourself
a pattern of good works,
in doctrine showing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity.
So forget the good job,
the good works are more important, aren't they?
You know, the best job in the world.
You have someone, are you impressed?
Someone comes in here and they've got like this amazing job
yet they don't do a thing for God.
Are we all sitting here going,
just wish I was in their shoes.
No, you're just sitting there going, what a shame.
What a shame that they don't have any good works.
The good works are important.
We need to impress that upon our kids
because it's so easy to impress the need for a good job.
Impress the need, and look, having a good job,
nothing wrong with that, yeah?
But the good works are important, aren't they?
So showing ourself a pattern of good works.
There's someone that doesn't corrupt the truth
to fit it in with them
because a lot of people do that, don't they?
Okay, they, in doctrine, in many different teachings,
in biblical teachings, they're corrupt
because they're trying to justify their own life
or something else, and obviously even worse
if they're, we're talking about key doctrines of the Bible.
Gravity, what's gravity?
It's seriousness or sobriety of manners, yeah?
So someone that takes the things of God seriously
is what we're talking about here.
Someone that doesn't just think
the things of God are just a big old joke, you know?
And look, there's a time for joking, okay?
There is a time for joking and having a laugh
and having fun and everything else.
But when it comes to the things of God,
there's some serious issues there, aren't there, as well.
And then sincerity, which is honest of intention.
So not fake with an ulterior motive.
And that's something, again, to teach your kids, isn't it?
Because kids can know how to manipulate,
know how to, you know, pretend they're sorry, pretend this.
Look, they learn it from young, okay?
It's just, it's innate sin, isn't it?
And it's something we want to train out of them,
train them to be sincere.
Because you know when people are insincere, don't you?
Okay, a lot of the time you just get an idea for that.
And people can be very fake, yeah?
We don't want to train our kids to be like,
all that stuff is important, isn't it?
Sound speech, verse eight, that cannot be condemned.
That he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed
having no evil thing to say of you.
So sound speech is what?
Correct, free from error.
Okay, so again, just people that are well-rounded,
they're able to say the right thing.
They're not upsetting people, everything they say.
Not being rude to people.
You know, just people that when they talk,
it's not like, oh man, you know,
every time they open their mouth,
it's just a massive blunder.
Just teaching people to be careful with what they say.
Yeah, showing that words do hurt, don't they?
You know that old nonsense that sticks to the stones
may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
Lie, it's a big lie.
Words hurt people, okay?
Words that we want to teach our kids about that as well.
Okay, so we're trying to raise the whole package, okay?
Not to focus only on academics,
sport, Bible knowledge, et cetera.
It's a whole lot, okay, character and all.
And then there's an important part here
that then we don't want to forget with all of this, okay?
And look, again, we're all,
and not all of us here aren't perfect.
All of us here get it wrong.
All of us here as parents are going to make many mistakes,
but what has our heart?
We want to get things right, yeah?
We want to try our best to do things
how God wants us to do things.
Verse four says that they may teach the young women
to be sober, to love their husbands,
to love their children, because it's not always natural.
And I said this the other week,
believe it or not, it's not always natural.
From young, it's not necessarily always
just something that automatically
women will love their kids, okay?
And we see that with our wicked abortion industry
in this country, and it carries on until old,
where people, sometimes you need to make that decision
to love your child.
Now, it's something that we choose to do.
And there's a funny thing at the age range
we're talking about, five to 12,
because the cuteness slowly decreases.
No offense to any of you kids out there in this age range.
It does, I'm afraid.
You know, you start to learn
how to push the buttons a bit more, yeah?
You start to learn how to say things that are going to upset
because you know how to fight back sometimes
with your mouths, because words do hurt, don't they?
They start to know how and what to say,
how to look and everything else to try and be,
you know, at least disobedient in one way or another.
And, you know, it's not, you know, with this sort of thing,
to love their husbands, to love their children,
it is something that obviously you could choose to do
and you should be choosing to do
on a regular kind of occurrence,
but it's not one or the other.
So a lot of the time, you know,
they'll show love to their husbands
and then maybe not to the kids you see in families
or sometimes the other way around,
they're showing, you know, love to their kids,
but they're not to the husband, it's both.
To teach the young women to be sober,
to love their husbands, to love their children.
And it's a great thing to teach your children,
to teach your daughters, especially mums, isn't it?
Okay, to teach those of you, you know, in families,
look, because we're in a world
where men are constantly degraded.
They're mocked, they're a laughing stock
in every show out there,
they're constantly being knocked in every area of life.
And, you know, daughters need to not see that at home, yeah?
And they're gonna get it everywhere else.
And that's an important thing, isn't it,
for mums to show that because they're not gonna be happy.
It's not, oh, well, they'll be so much happier
if they're just knocking and degrading men every day.
No, they're not.
And kids aren't happy if they see
their dad's being knocked and degraded, are they?
Because ultimately they start to lose respect for their dad
and that dad coming off the pedestal
can be quite a hard fall for many and for many kids.
So it's something that mums should be encouraging
that respect and that love for the husband as well, yeah?
Proverbs 17, six says,
children's children are the crown of old men
and the glory of children are their fathers.
Children's children, so that's grandchildren
are the crown of old men.
Okay, that's a great thing for men
to end up seeing their grandchildren
and being able to have a relationship with them.
And the glory of children are their fathers.
Basically, kids, look, they, you know, the glory is what?
It's almost like something to boast of, you know?
It's like a, it's something that they,
I mean, you don't wanna say worship,
but look, fathers for many are kind of,
they're up here, aren't they?
And look, I remember preaching this on a father's day
and talking about this a lot where I remember growing up
and when I was really young, as far as I was concerned,
everyone's, all these kids' dads were like,
you know, the strongest men, the fastest men,
the toughest men, the cleverest men, the richest men,
the best dads in the world.
And then as you kind of grow up and go through school,
all those men, by the end of kind of school,
they're all the scum of the earth apparently, you know?
And that's not a nice thing for a kid, is it?
A lot of kids, you can see they're like,
you say like daddy issues, mommy issues,
you can see that, can't you, in them?
And we don't want, and in the family at home,
you wanna try and not to promote that as much as possible
because it does affect kids
when their dads are constantly being put down, okay?
So, but biblical parenting of children, okay?
It includes salvation, okay?
That's teaching them the things of God diligently,
teaching them what they need for successful life, yeah?
Teaching them good character,
loving them through it all, yeah?
And that's something you choose to do,
love them through it all.
Go back to Deuteronomy 6 because what's the goal?
And that's what sometimes you need to remember
because sometimes it can be tough.
Now, sometimes for moms,
whether they're homeschooling or not,
it's a tough life.
For dads, it can be tough.
But you know, you're out grafting all day,
you're coming back, you know,
you wanna parent your kids as well, okay?
It's everyone's job, isn't it?
You still wanna be involved.
You still wanna do things.
You still wanna take them places, get involved.
It can be tough.
Life can be tough.
Let's have a look what the goal is.
Verse three says,
here, therefore, are Israel, verse three,
and observe to do it that it may be well with thee,
and that ye may increase mightily as the Lord God
of thy fathers has promised thee
in the land that floweth with milk and honey.
So, look, it's gonna be well with them.
You raise them how God wants them raised, yeah?
And some of that's my opinion.
But where you think that the word of God backs something up
and you think, yeah, that kind of, that fits,
look, it's gonna be well with them as well.
So, let alone the fact that you're raising them for God,
let alone the fact that you're gonna be happy as well,
how about it's gonna be well with them?
Verse 20 says,
when thy son asketh thee in time to come, verse 20,
when thy son asketh thee in time to come,
saying what mean the testimonies and the statutes
and the judgments which the Lord our God hath commanded you,
then thou shalt say unto thy son,
we were Pharaoh's bondmen in Egypt,
and the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand,
and the Lord showed signs and wonders great
and saw upon Egypt, upon Pharaoh,
and upon all his household before our eyes.
And he brought us out from thence that he might bring us in
to give us a land which he swam to our fathers.
And the Lord commanded us to do all these statutes,
to fear the Lord our God for our good,
all ways that he might preserve us alive
as it is at this day, and it shall be our righteousness
if we observe to do all these commandments
before the Lord our God,
as he hath commanded us.
Okay, it's for their own good.
It's for their own good, it's for your own good.
Turn to Proverbs 23.
And it's for them to ultimately be righteous,
for them to be right.
And look, sometimes, look,
you're going to have battles about that.
Like I said, sometimes you're going to feel like,
you know, your kids hate you,
because you're going to put your foot down on things.
You're going to say, no, whatever it is,
maybe it's something they really love
that you could see that pitfall here.
Maybe they've got some sort of grip in their life
or something else that you're having to get rid of.
And sometimes you have to go through that
because ultimately it's for their own good.
Okay, it's for their own good.
And look, you don't, it's not all the time.
It's not, you know, it's not always bad cop, okay?
You want to be good cop as well.
And you want to love your kids
and you want to be able to have that, you know,
a great relationship with them as well.
But it's for their own good doing things God's way.
And you are, it's, look, the Christian life.
Does anyone go through the Christian life
and think there's just no opposition to it at all
for you in your life?
No way.
And there's opposition in the flesh.
Is it going to be any different with your kids?
Do we expect to, oh, well,
because there is, there can be that feeling,
well, what a blessing, all these kids here,
because they're being raised in a biblical church
with the Bible and we weren't.
They're still kids and they still have the flesh.
Okay, they still have the flesh.
They're not going to walk on water.
They're going to still go through all the many,
many things that you do in terms of those battles,
in terms of that willpower to want to do this, do that.
Yeah, you're going to hopefully keep them away
from many of the pitfalls,
but they're still going to battle with the flesh
and you're still going to have to battle
with your kids sometimes.
You're still going to have to make unpopular decisions.
They're not just going to sit there and go,
so be it, Father, I know that the Lord thy God says so.
You know, well, thus saith the Lord,
I'm not going to argue.
That's not how it works.
Okay, kids are going to balk at sometimes the things you say
and we have to dig deep and we have to be,
no, I'm going to do what God says.
And Proverbs 23 and verse 24 says,
when you get this right,
the father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice
and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him.
Thy father and thy mother shall be glad
and she that bear thee shall rejoice.
Okay, it's not just for them.
It's not just for the Lord.
It's also for you as well.
Yeah, you want to rejoice.
You want to have joy of your children.
You want to be glad.
You want your wives rejoicing.
You need to raise them God's way.
If you don't, it can be a lifetime of heartache really,
can't it, for many.
Okay, and sometimes that means
that make some hard decisions while they're young.
Sometimes it makes some unpopular decisions
while they're young, but you know what?
Often when they're older, they'll thank you for it.
I speak to people often
and they talk about their childhood.
They talk about their past sometimes and they'll say,
and the ones that had strict parenting will go,
I really, really am pleased that I had that strict parenting
because it really did help.
And those that didn't sometimes look back and go,
yeah, my parents, a lot of the time they'll start to,
it starts to dawn them, yeah,
my parents basically didn't care enough
to stop me doing this or to make me do this
or whatever else.
And look, we want to be the sorts of parents
that God wants us to be
and ultimately it's for our own good
as well as our kids' good as well, yeah.
Now, look, before I do the last one,
just to say again on this,
look, we're all gonna get stuff wrong, yeah.
I'm not preaching this from a position of,
I'm the perfect dad and my wife's the perfect wife.
Look, we're all gonna get stuff wrong.
We're gonna continue to get stuff wrong
and nothing wrong with being able
to be honest about that as well
and not trying to set ourselves up
as some sort of like model family or something.
That's not real, okay, that's not life.
However, where's our heart?
Our heart should be that we want to do it
by what the word of God says, okay.
That's the important thing
and trying to get that right
and then obviously therefore preaching that
from the pulpit as well, yeah, okay.
On that, we're gonna pray to finish up.
Father, I thank you.
Thank you for the gift of children.
Thank you for all the children in this church, Lord.
Please help us all as parents here,
as imperfect people to try
and just do things the right way,
to do things the way that you'd want us to do it,
not to take the easy options,
not to try and just justify it
when we do get things wrong,
to understand that we do,
to not be too hard on ourselves either,
but also to try and follow what you want us
to do with our kids, Lord.
They're yours, they're given to us
to look after, to raise.
We wanna do it the best way we possibly can.
We wanna be diligent in it as well, Lord.
Help us to all want that, help us to all do that,
help us to all get things as right as we can,
help us to just have a great, strong church
with strong children here
that are gonna eventually take over
and be the ones teaching children
the future of this church.
Help us to just get things right, Lord.
Help us to have a good week now,
help us to all get home safe and sound,
and help us to all return back here on Wednesday
for the Wednesday evening service.
In Jesus' name, for all this, amen.