Let's look back at verse number six where the Bible read,
If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children, not accused of riot or unruly.
And the title of my sermon this morning is Unruly Children.
Unruly children.
Now, I get this phrase from this particular verse, and this verse in Titus chapter number one is specific to a pastor.
It's basically giving instructions or the qualifications of a pastor.
And it's telling a pastor that he has to be blameless,
and then it gives a lot of different attributes or qualities about that pastor,
and which would describe that person.
And one of those specifically is having faithful children, not accused of riot or unruly.
Now, let's try to understand what this means for a second.
Go to 1 Timothy chapter number three where you get a parallel list of instructions.
Let's try to figure out what unruly means.
Unruly in the Bible is only mentioned a few times,
and it's typically not going to give you much more information than basically what you would already assume.
But someone that's unruly means they're not being ruled well, right?
Because the opposite would be someone that's ruled, someone that's unruly.
They're not being ruled very well.
And the Bible uses this description in 1 Timothy chapter three, look at verse four.
One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity.
For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how so you take care of the church of God?
So according to 1 Timothy chapter number three, kind of giving the inverse picture here,
saying one that's ruling well, and in Titus it's giving kind of the negative picture,
one that doesn't have riotous or unruly type children.
Now, this is something to also be taken with seriousness.
You know, when we look at children, it says that the children are in subjection with all gravity.
What does gravity mean?
Well, it's really just being sober, serious.
It's meaning that the children take things seriously.
They take rules seriously.
They take the instructions of their parents seriously.
They're not just always in constant rebellion, constantly resisting against their parents' authority,
that they're able to be in subjection and subdued whenever they're out of line.
Now, this is important to understand.
If children were automatically well-behaved, they wouldn't need to be ruled, okay?
So obviously, by these implications, it's saying you actually have to do something about it.
You have to put rules in place.
You have to try and corral your children.
You have to actually enforce these rules upon them.
Now, go to 1 Timothy chapter number four, 1 Timothy chapter number four,
and I know I'm kind of digging in here to the qualifications of a pastor,
but the thing you have to understand about the qualifications of a pastor is this,
that these rules apply to every single person.
It's just saying that the pastor should be a good example in every one of these areas
because we're all supposed to be like this, okay?
That's why it says in 1 Timothy chapter four, verse 12,
Let no man despise thy youth, but be thou an example of the believers in word,
in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
So the pastor is supposed to be an example to the church on how they are supposed to behave.
This is not just like, well, this one person is supposed to have well-behaved children.
Now, everyone's supposed to have well-behaved children.
Everyone's supposed to have children who are not accused of riot or unruly.
It's just saying if someone can't rule their children,
that's not the guy to put in charge, okay?
That's not someone that should be ruling other people when he can't even rule his own house, okay?
Now, I want to make some things clear this morning,
and I want to get really specific this morning,
but let's just talk about a pastor for a half second
because here's the thing.
Even a pastor himself, his kids are going to sin.
His kids are going to do things that are wrong.
His kids are going to misbehave.
His kids are going to do bad things, okay?
And really, when you understand this qualification,
it's not saying kids don't misbehave.
What it's saying is that the parent, the father,
will be able to correct and discipline his children,
and they will take heed to that discipline.
So really, all these qualifications are pointed at the man
more than they are really the children.
The children are just the manifestation of how well the man rules his home, okay?
So a man that rules his home well, his children are going to be in subjection.
Now, let me give you an example.
If a kid screws up, okay,
I'm not going to blame that parent as not having faithful children or unruly children.
This is how you basically measure it.
Is the kid continuing to do it after the parent's aware of the situation?
Once the parents become aware of the situation
and they're not correcting it, they're not fixing it,
the kid's just constantly doing the same thing over and over and over again.
It doesn't seem like they take heed to any rules, any instruction, any correction.
That's what labels a person as being a man that does not have faithful children
or they're unruly or something to that regard.
Now, I want to make this clear
because I believe that the majority of children in this world are unruly, okay?
So and I'm going to try and prove that through my sermon this morning,
but just think about this because the world today,
if I told you that someone's a drunkard, okay,
how would the world define a drunkard today?
It's basically somebody that has 240 strapped to their hands
and is in the gutter like laying over there and they don't have a job.
Like that's the world's version of a drunkard, right?
But here at Steadfast Baptist Church,
my definition of a drunkard is someone that drinks every day period
or it's someone that drinks and drives ever
or it's someone that drinks liquor
or it's someone that goes to a bar
or it's someone that mixes drugs with alcohol, okay?
Whenever you take that definition, it's like, wow, everyone's a drunkard, okay?
So when we look at the definition of someone who's unruly,
you have to understand the world by and large is unruly.
I mean, have you ever heard of the protests or Antifa or Black Lives Matter
or seen public school kids or just seen the world today?
I mean, they're unruly today.
You could not take the world and bring them into church
and expect their kids to behave.
They would not be able to behave.
And even when we look at teenagers today,
the teenagers today are very unruly
in comparison to the people who actually go to church and serve the Lord.
It's a vast distinction,
but that does not mean just because your kids are in jail
and already knocked up and have a drug addiction
that they're somehow not unruly, okay?
There's different layers or different stages of being unruly.
And so I'm going to kind of pick on, you know, the cream of the crop as it were, right?
I'm going to pick on the house of God because you're not in the world, okay?
You've already separated yourself from the world this morning,
but we can still work on dialing things in
and not having unruly children even in the house of God.
Now, whenever you preach on something that's actually touchy or hard preaching,
people don't really like that, okay?
People come to this church like, I love hard preaching,
and it's like, no, you don't, okay?
But, you know, let me give you another example.
And I'm setting up the sermon for a moment.
Go to Proverbs 22, if you would, and we'll get there in a second.
But, you know, whenever I preach a sermon on marriage issues,
every single person ends up thinking it's about them
because, you know, there's like all these people that have told me their problems
or they ask me marriage advice or whatever,
and I'll have like six plus different families tell me about marriage problems in less than one week, okay?
So, if I ever address a marriage problem, they're all like, well, that was about me.
And I'm just thinking like, how am I going to preach if I avoid things that people told me?
Not only that, if you've told me a marriage problem, it's not just the most recent week.
It's like if they've ever told me a marriage problem ever,
then any marriage sermon in the future, it's about them.
So then, basically, every sermon's about everyone, okay?
And that's why I get up and I say this.
If you feel like I'm preaching about you specifically, it's because I am.
Because I just want to take the credit for it when I'm not, you know?
I don't want to have after, because look, there's plenty of sermons where I preach
and I have no idea it's affecting somebody,
and they come up and they're like, you preached that about me, didn't you?
And I'm like, inside I'm thinking no, but I'm just going to be like, yes.
So, if you asked me after the sermon, were you preaching about me?
I'm just going to tell you yes, okay?
So, don't even wonder, don't ask me about it.
You know, first of all, you should feel honored that I would dedicate a sermon to you,
you know, that you need this type of personal instruction.
And not only that, I try to preach, you know, I think it's appropriate for a passenger to preach in a way
where other people would not feel like it's identified with one particular person, you know?
I'm not going to try and preach in a way where everybody's like, oh, it's obviously that guy,
you know, it's obviously that family or whatever.
That would be kind of inappropriate, you know, maybe in a very specific situation you might do that,
but I try to preach where, you know, only you have an idea that it's about you per se, if it was, okay?
And most of the time my sermons, I'm not thinking about anyone in particular.
Most of the time when I realize it applies to people is after I preach them.
I started thinking like, wow, that did really apply to that person, you know?
But it's usually not in the prep.
In the prep, I'm just trying to say, what does the Bible say and try to work on these things?
And, you know, if you really cared about preaching, you would want it to be specific about you anyways, wouldn't you?
I mean, they come to me wanting advice, it's like, well, here's your advice, okay?
So don't get offended if a sermon feels like it's about you because 99% of the time it's not.
But I'm going to tell you it is anyways, okay?
And people feel like that I'm only going to preach about them and their problems, but here's the thing.
If I shied away from the sins that people have told me that they've committed or into or aware of, the only thing I could preach on is fags.
I'm not joking.
Like, you name it in the Bible, people have told me about it and I've seen it or experienced it or know about it.
It's like basically that's the only one.
I don't have any fags in the room this morning, okay?
That's basically the only sin we're not dealing with as a congregation, right?
But everything else is there.
So if I shied away from topics that I feel like could be identified with some person, then I would never preach the Bible.
But you know what? I'm going to preach the Bible and you better just like it, all right?
It's a hard preaching church and, you know, we're going to thin out the crowd if we have to and I'm just kidding.
Usually when you preach a sermon like this on unruly children, you know what happens?
All the parents that were already really good, they just tighten it up a little bit and all the ones that were really bad still don't care.
And since you make all of us uncomfortable all the time with your unruly kids, it's time for me to make you uncomfortable for an hour, all right?
Point number one, why are kids unruly?
Because of a lack of punishment, a lack of punishment and the Bible emphasizes punishment.
And if you can't exercise punishment in your own house, how could the pastor get up and exercise discipline in the house of God?
He can't.
That's why it's so important that the man of God be a disciplinarian.
Be one that can corral and keep his children in subjection.
Look at Proverbs 22 verse 15.
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
So the Bible is telling us that children are unruly.
Here's my first proof text to say that kids are unruly.
It's right here on the page.
And you know why most of the world's kids are unruly?
Because they're not punishing them.
Because they're not disciplining them and specifically with the rod of correction.
We need to use a blunt instrument.
We need to use something that's going to cause pain because notice it's supposed to drive out that foolishness from a child.
And I'm going to be preaching a lot of Bible this morning.
Go to Proverbs 13.
But let me say this.
You say, how many people does this affect?
Well, I counted double digits whenever I was thinking about people this affects.
And this church and all the church plants.
Okay, there's lots of people that this affects where I feel like they're in violation and they need to fix things.
Okay, and it's not one family.
It's not two.
It's not double digits.
Okay, so take this to the heart this morning.
There's lots of people that are not punishing their children correctly.
Now, let me say this.
Having a rod does not automatically mean you're following this advice.
Okay, because it says in Proverbs 13 verse 24, he that spareth his rod hated his son.
So you have to use it.
But he that loveth him, chasin' him betimes.
Betimes means early.
You need to do it when they're young.
You need to do it when they are of age that they can understand and they start going.
And I try to say, you know, for the first six months, I mean, you really can't punish your kid.
Okay, the first six months, I mean, it's a baby.
It's the only way to communicate is crying.
If it's hungry, it cries.
If it needs its diaper changed, it cries.
If it's uncomfortable or tired, that's just how it communicates.
Okay, so you wouldn't punish a child for communicating, I'm hungry or tired or need my diaper changed.
But then as they start getting a little bit older, they start getting a little bit of an attitude.
They start actually having a personality and that's when you can start finally saying no or start trying to discipline them a little bit.
Or, you know, maybe you kind of tap them on the hand or tap them on the part of their body where they're doing something that's wrong.
But it needs to continually graduate as they get older.
And by the time that they're 12 months, 13 months, 14 months, you can discipline your child with a rod.
Now, I wouldn't do it in a way that's very pain.
Like, it doesn't have to be very painful at that age.
I mean, you can, a lot of times, a little baby, 12 months, 13 months, 14 months, you can just kind of like that and they'll scream.
You know, they get it.
They're already upset and whatever.
But you say, how do I know if it's working?
Well, here's the thing.
Do they respect the punishment?
If I do this and they're laughing at your face, okay, it didn't work.
If you do this and there's no change, it didn't work, okay?
Now, here's the thing.
You cannot beat your children to submission, okay?
Especially at that age, sometimes they won't get it.
But in general, if you're saying every time I discipline them, it's like nothing's happening, it's because you're not disciplining them, okay?
There has to be a reaction from the child.
They have to understand that what they're doing is wrong.
That's why I try to tell them, you know, this is what you did.
This is why you're getting disciplined and they receive the punishment.
And here's the thing.
If they don't fear the punishment, you're not punishing them, okay?
You know, I remember making this mistake when I was five.
My mom spanked me and I turned around and looked at her.
I said, that didn't hurt.
That was the last time I've ever said that in my entire life after being disciplined.
She's like, well, dad knows how to make it hurt.
You know, just wait until he gets home.
And that's the worst is delayed spanking.
I mean, you're just sitting there like you're playing and then all of a sudden you remember like dad's going to come home and I'm going to get sick and then you're just gloomy.
But here's the thing.
It's punishment.
If it's not something, if it's something you enjoy, it's not punishment, okay?
It has to be something you're not looking forward to.
It has to be something negative.
Go to Proverbs 23, Proverbs chapter 23.
The Bible emphasizes punishment.
And this is an important attribute to teach your children because God punishes us.
God has so many rules.
God has so many laws.
God has so many commandments.
And we're supposed to follow them.
But if you can't even follow the simple instructions of a parent, how are you going to end up following God's commandments, God's instructions?
You know, that's why God instills this very important relationship in our lives of a father and a mother to discipline us and to teach us and to correct us.
Proverbs 23 verse 13, the Bible reads,
Withhold not correction from the child, for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
So the Bible is saying you need to use the rod.
You need to apply it.
You need to beat that bottom.
And notice it's never going to kill them.
It's never enough force to do any kind of physical harm or physical damage or anything that would cause anything permanent.
It's just a temporary moment of pain.
And God uses a really sensitive area that's really padded to accomplish both, okay?
It's the rear end.
And God wants you to apply that to your children, you know, the rod of correction to the seed of learning or whatever it is, you know.
And so that way they will get the correction and they'll not go to hell.
I mean, the Bible gives you a promise that your kids won't even go to hell.
Isn't that a great promise?
It's saying, hey, when you discipline your kids, there's a great benefit, they won't go to hell.
Because they'll hear the instruction, they'll receive the instruction, then you preach them the gospel and they accept it.
A kid that's never been punished, well, I don't deserve hell.
Why do I need a savior?
Why do I need anything?
It's like, no, dad beats out of us, you know.
I need a savior.
If this is what dad's like, I can't imagine what hell's like, you know.
I mean, it's like, they should have some fear of dad.
Hey, because their heavenly father is one to be terrified of.
He's one to be feared.
He has great punishment for those that rebel against him.
A bit of Proverbs 29, Proverbs 29, and I'm looking at a lot of verses here for this first point, but...
And it seems pretty obvious, but people just fail in this area.
And when I think about the lack of punishment, this is what I think.
A parent notices their child doing something wrong,
becomes aware of their child doing something wrong,
and they just forgo punishing them.
It's not that they don't spank sometimes.
It's not that they don't discipline at times.
It's that there's a lack.
There's not consistency, you know, of maybe vain threats, vain promises.
If you do that one more time, you're getting spanked.
They do it 20 more times and they're still not spanked.
They realize their kid's doing something really bad and they're just like, no, no.
And here's the thing.
This is the number one replacement for spanking is screaming.
It's like, ah, stop, ah.
And it's like, that's not a good replacement, okay?
And look, we're all guilty of this and we all do it.
It's very easy.
It's very natural.
The best parenting is one that's going to not scream at the kids,
it's going to spank the kids.
And you know, it's easier to yell than it is to get the rod
and to sit them down and to discipline them physically.
But I'm telling you, it's much better results.
And then your kids won't scream as much, okay?
But look, we all need to work on this,
but some people really need to work on this, all right?
Proverbs 29 verse 17, the Bible says,
correct thy son and he shall give thee rest.
Yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.
Not only will your kid not go to hell, he'll give you delight.
He'll give you rest.
Now, most people, they look at kids and they think, ah, I don't want a kid, you know.
I mean, the world today looks at having a child as a burden
and just, it's so awful and it's so terrible.
You know why? Because they don't punish their kids.
They think, you take four kids to the grocery store and they're just like,
ah, how do you do this and how are you with them?
And it's just like, it's not that bad.
In fact, sometimes they act better at the grocery store than at home.
I mean, you know, I mean, I like my kids being with me.
I like being able to go to a nice restaurant.
You know, me and my family have been complimented a lot,
just going to a restaurant and having our kids like,
wow, your kids are pretty well behaved.
And look, my kids are not perfect, okay?
There's plenty of times where me and my wife are like,
really frustrated with their kids, like the whole meal,
and then someone would be like, your kids are so well behaved.
We're just thinking like, yeah, okay, you know, whatever.
But at the end of the day, you know, we should be different than the world.
And when you correct your children according to the Bible, you will stand out.
Your kids will stand out and they will be a delight.
I'm not saying all the time, but I am saying generally speaking,
you won't look at them like this horrible burden.
I mean, I've heard women complaining about their kids so much,
they say, I hope I never have another kid.
I hope I never get pregnant ever again.
I'm just thinking like, what happened?
You know, how did your heart get so hardened against children
or not like them?
And typically it's from a lack of good discipline, a good punishment.
They don't realize the benefit not only for their child,
but even for themselves.
There is a benefit to punishing your children.
You're doing a disservice to both of you when you don't.
And let me say this, a lack of punishment at home cannot be made up at church.
A lack of punishment at home cannot be made up for church.
I think there's some people, they don't spank at home,
they only spank at church just to be like scene of men or something.
And like some people, they do it like really loud or something.
And it's just like, look, you should try to do it privately as best you can.
And you know, I try to cover my kids mouth if they're screaming.
I'm not sitting in there just like, come on, Johnny.
It's like I punish my kids and I'm thinking like,
what are you doing in there?
You know, like it should not be a free-ring circus.
Okay, you're not trying to attract the CPS to come to your house.
Okay, it should be normal discipline.
And if my kids are screaming,
that's a reason to get spanked because we don't allow screaming.
It's not like let's spank you so you can scream as loud as you can.
No, you're going to be in trouble for doing that.
They need to even learn how to take punishment.
Well, okay, and if you don't do it at home,
you're not going to do it well in public either.
And you can't make up for it the one time at church.
Just like you can't be serving the world six days a week
and come to church one day a week and all of a sudden you're godly.
No, it's got to be a lifestyle.
And you got to punish your children moment by moment.
And let me say this, children should fear the rod.
Go to 1 Samuel chapter 3, 1 Samuel chapter 3.
Let me give you an example of someone that has unruly children in the Bible.
1 Samuel chapter number 3, look at verse number 11, the Bible reads
and the Lord said to Samuel, behold, I will do a thing in Israel
at which both the ears of everyone that heareth, it shall tingle.
In that day I will perform against Eli all things which I have spoken concerning his house.
When I begin, I will also make an end,
for I have told him that I will judge his house forever
for the iniquity which he knoweth,
because his sons made themselves vile and he restrained them not.
So notice Eli is being punished here and it's a severe punishment.
He says he's going to punish his house forever.
Why? Because he did not discipline his children, Hophni and Phinehas,
some of the worst kids mentioned in the Bible.
What did he not do? He did not restrain them.
Notice how this is worded, okay?
And I want you to pay attention to how this is worded.
Notice that God did not say, Eli, I know you did your best,
but kids make their own decisions.
Hey, Eli, I know you tried really hard here, but, you know, these kids, they're just unruly kids.
Nope, he said you didn't restrain them.
He didn't even give a caveat.
He didn't say, well, you have one of those hard kids to deal with, don't you?
Oh, well, you were busy.
Well, no, it's always the parents' fault, always.
God doesn't look at the situation and say,
well, I know your kids are pretty, you know, hard kids.
I gave you a hard one.
You know, I gave you that really rebellious one or whatever.
Nope, God is going to punish Eli for how his children behave, and it's the children's fault.
I never look at a kid disbehaving and think, well, it's just that kid.
I think, why won't the parent take care of that kid?
It's always the parents' responsibility.
And notice, his sons made themselves vile.
What did they do?
Well, first of all, they were false prophets.
They were sons of Belial.
Notice he didn't deliver their soul from hell, did he?
So he must not have been using the rod correctly.
If he had been using the rod correctly, he would have delivered their soul from hell.
They wouldn't have been sons of Belial.
They would have known the Lord.
Not only that, they also lay with the women assembled at the door.
They're committing rampant fornication.
They're profaning the house of God.
Eli is not taking control of his house,
and we see the house of God has all kinds of problems
when the man of God can't even discipline his own family.
This is why it's so important for a pastor or a leader to be a good disciplinarian,
because when he's just letting things slide at home,
he lets them slide at the house of God, too.
And then eventually what happens, the Ark of the Covenant gets taken by the Philistines
because of all these problems that Eli is allowing to happen
in his own home and in the house of God.
So this is a very important thing to understand.
And look, God will judge you for your children's sins.
I didn't make this up.
God said, hey, I'm going to judge Eli for the iniquity that you know,
and guess whose iniquity that was?
His kids.
He's saying, hey, I'm going to punish you.
Now, some people would say, well, what about that verse that says
you're not going to punish the children,
punish the father for the children's sins or whatever?
Here's the thing.
It's Eli's sin that his children were not restrained.
It's not the kids' fault that they weren't.
It's not the kids' fault that he didn't restrain himself.
No, he was the one that was supposed to punish them.
And because he didn't punish them, because he had the lack of punishment,
God's going to judge Eli for his terrible actions
and not disciplining his own children.
Now, how do other churches deal with this?
Because you would look at a church like us that has family integrated services,
and we have kids in the service, and we let kids participate,
and it's not a perfect, quiet atmosphere where you can hear a pin drop.
I don't mind that. That doesn't bother me at all.
I don't even care that kids occasionally burst out or whatever.
What's annoying is when a kid's bursting out, and the parent's just like,
someone should shut that kid up.
It's like, that's your kid.
It's like, shh, shh.
You can hear that.
I can hear that.
It's like, shh, eh, shh, eh, shh.
It's like, that doesn't make it better.
That's annoying, right, is they're not taking care of that problem.
So this is how other churches handle this problem.
Kids aren't in the service.
You know, that doesn't magically make them unruly by taking them out.
You know, they take them out of the service, they put them in nursery.
You know, that doesn't make your kids well-behaved by putting them in the nursery.
Hey, putting them in childcare.
Hey, I worked in childcare for a really long time,
and let me tell you, those kids were horrible.
You know what you do as a childcare worker?
You play loud music, and you run around to try and get them tired.
The first step, get them tired.
The second step is you feed them a snack.
You load them up with animal crackers and Cheez-It and Goldfish
and all these different snacks.
You feed them, like, fruit juice and punch and all this kind of stuff,
and then you give them paper to color on, and they're, like, running everywhere,
and then you just pray it's a short sermon.
I mean, that's basically childcare, okay?
And there were some kids that you were just like, wow, this kid is just, like, a train wreck.
I mean, they're wild, they're running, they're screaming,
they're just hitting other kids, they're drawing on the walls,
and, you know, those are always the kids that were dropped off the earliest
and picked up the latest, too, and I don't think that was a coincidence.
In fact, I knew parents, parents even admitted to us
they would drop their kids off at the childcare,
and they weren't even going to service
because we'd have, like, Saturday night services.
They would go on a date.
They would show up at church, drop their kids off at the childcare workers,
and they're so unruly, and they would go on a date,
go to dinner, and then come back and pick up their kid.
And look, these kids were terrible.
They were awful. That doesn't fix the problem.
Don't look at a church like ours and be like,
oh, man, it's so annoying having the kids in the auditorium.
Well, you know what? I don't want all the kids to go to hell,
and I don't want them to all get out of church and not even know who the Lord is
just because we can put them in a pegpen
and allow them to just, you know, eat everything and roll over each other.
Look, it doesn't even make sense.
You know, they just throw food at them, loud music, coloring.
Another thing is some of the worst kids were the nursery workers' own kids, okay?
And it was just bizarre.
But here's the thing. We need to discipline our own kids.
We need to corral our own children and keep them in line
and make sure that they're being subject.
I'm going to go to my next point here.
Go if you would to 2 Kings 2, 2 Kings 2.
But my first point is this, just a lack of punishment is going to cause unruly kids.
And them being in nursery is not going to fix that
because the nursery workers don't punish the kids.
I didn't punish the kid.
In fact, the really horrible ones that you're kind of feeling like
they really need it, you still couldn't.
And there was this intimidation factor.
You didn't even want to tell the parents that their kid wasn't good.
You know, you're kind of afraid to be like, hey, he's rough, you know,
just because then they'd be like, why was he rough?
My little Johnny's perfect.
And you're like, he's not perfect.
Okay, and I can see from your attitude,
there's the obvious reason why you can't even take correction yourself.
And since you can't take correction,
look, I'm not going to get mad at someone pointing out that my kids are bad.
Thank you. Thank you for telling me that my kids need punishment.
Thank you for telling me my kids have some kind of problem that I can fix.
I should not have this attitude of like, my kids are perfect.
I know that my kids aren't. I know that your kids aren't.
Okay, and I'm not going to hold myself to this weird, unrealistic expectation.
And let me say this about unruly children.
I have three points this morning,
and I think that basically we can look at as like different stages, right?
You could have a stage one unruly child.
That just means you're failing in one area.
A stage two means you're failing in two areas,
and three is you're failing in all three areas.
Okay, so some people, they only have a stage one unruly child.
They're doing good in a few areas, but they're doing bad in one.
Okay, and that could be the lack of punishment, but keep that in mind.
Here's my second way in which you have unruly children is a lack of presence.
A lack of presence.
There's a lack of punishment. There's a lack of presence.
Look at 2 Kings chapter 2 verse 23.
And he went up from thence unto Bethel,
and as he was going up by the way,
there came forth little children out of the city and mocked him.
Said unto him, Go up, thou bald head! Go up, thou bald head!
And he turned back and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord.
And there came forth two she-bearers out of the wood,
and tear forty and two children of them.
And he went from thence to Mount Carmel, and from thence he returned to Samaria.
Now, what I learned from this story is never make fun of brother Jason.
Okay, that would be a bad mistake.
You never want to do this.
Basically, here's the thing.
We have the prophet Elisha, and he's being mocked by kids,
and notice the majority are bad.
It doesn't say like, well, it was just a few kids.
It's like all of them, and here's the question.
Where's their parents?
Where's any kind of supervision?
Where's any kind of authority?
You know what this story makes me think of?
When we go to the ghetto and preach the gospel.
Isn't there just these packs of kids like roaming the streets?
I mean, they're just roaming everywhere, and you're just thinking like,
you're like two.
Where are your parents at?
I mean, it baffles the mind when you see, you go to the ghetto,
and you see all these kids, they're just running around.
No parents, no supervision,
and then pretty soon they're down at the BLM rally, aren't they?
Now they're joining Antifa, now they're joining a gang,
now they're joining whatever,
because there's a lack of presence of their parents in their lives.
Kids are not meant to just raise themselves.
It doesn't work.
It doesn't happen.
Neverland is a bad story with a faggot as the main character, okay?
Peter Pan, okay?
He's effeminate, okay?
Don't try to model your life after Never Neverland.
It's not going to work, okay?
Now, go to Exodus chapter 21.
Here's a story where parents are not around, and what happened?
The kids die.
It's dangerous when parents are not around their children at all times.
It's always dangerous.
It's dangerous for the children.
It's dangerous for others.
You need to be present in your child's life.
That's why we also don't have Sunday school.
That's why we also don't have the nursery and the daycare,
which is really called don't care.
Why?
Because so many children are harmed because they're not around their kids.
There's all kinds of evil people, wicked people, and, you know,
we've had our share of bad people.
We've had our share of bad apples.
You really want them raising the kids?
You really want Seth Bookout's soul winning program for the kids?
Oh, yeah, that did happen, didn't it?
What kind of a weird, sick person, you know,
wants to watch kids that's like that?
I mean, I don't want them around my kids for a second,
let alone to get all the kids.
I remember at an independent, fundamental Baptist Church.
I'm going to, okay?
One of the, like, deacons or former deacons son is an open faggot.
Okay, a known faggot married to a dude.
And him and his siblings would consistently recruit families in that church
to take their kids to him and his fag buddies theater class.
Because they had a theater class, four children,
where you could come and drop off your five, six, seven,
eight-year-old little Johnny to be with this fag
and his fag husband theater class.
No, thank you.
That is disgusting.
And look, they're not just these just such generous people.
They just love children.
No, they hate children.
They want to harm children.
You think that all the pedophile statistics out there,
it's a coincidence that it's always a homosexual,
that it's always a faggot,
that it's always someone harming children.
No, these people are predators and they're coming at their children.
And, you know, a grown man wanting to be around five,
six, seven-year-olds has probably got a problem.
I mean, I'm just being honest.
You know, I was a teenager.
I liked hanging out with other kids.
But as a grown man, why would you forgo church for children?
There's something wrong with you.
There's something weird in that person's head.
So we're not going to try and identify the most effeminate weirdos
to come and watch our kids while we sit in here
and pretend like we should raise our own family.
Because we're not.
No, we should have our kids with us and raise our children correctly.
And when parents are not around, bad things happen.
You know what doesn't happen?
Children being molested in front of the father.
It doesn't happen.
It's never going to happen in front of my presence.
I will kill you.
Very quickly, okay?
Or maybe slowly if I feel like you need that, okay?
But at the end of the day, death is going to happen.
You know, it doesn't happen in the open.
It happens in the dark, secret corners.
And these kids all died.
Do you not remember that?
I mean, the Sunday school van drove off the cliff.
I don't want that.
Exodus chapter 21.
Now, why do I bring this up?
Because look, kids left themselves.
You know, they come running on the stage.
They can break their arm.
They can break their leg.
They can hurt themselves.
They should be with their parents.
Also, when they're just running around in the building,
you know what they could do?
They could harm someone else, not just themselves.
And look what the Bible says in Exodus 21 verse 22.
If men strive and hurt a woman with child,
so that her fruit depart from her,
and yet no mischief follow,
he shall be surely punished,
according as the woman's husband will lay upon him,
and he shall pay as the judges determine.
And if any mischief follow,
then thou shalt give life for life.
The Bible is saying it's a very, very serious sin
to hurt a pregnant woman,
even if it was a complete accident.
And if you look at our bulletin,
we have pregnant women all the time.
And you know what I think?
We're going to continually have pregnant women
all the time in this church,
and your little five-year-old Johnny,
your seven-year-old Johnny running full steam
could do some damage.
You could run into a pregnant woman.
You could knock her down.
You could cause her to fall on something
and to get impaled with something.
And there's nothing worse than losing a child.
And you know what?
That is a big problem.
That's why we discourage running.
That's why I tell my ushers,
if you see running, you stop it immediately.
I'm not going to just be negligent and just say,
hey, let's just run around and yeah, woohoo!
No, this is the house of God.
It's not a playpen.
It's not the trampoline park.
It's not somewhere to just come
and just have the best time of your life.
It's not to just run around in the chairs
and to scream and to yell and to cause pandemonium.
This is church.
It'd be a safe place to come.
It should be a place where people feel welcome.
It's not just chaotic.
And I understand that we don't have the nursery and the daycare.
You have to watch your kids.
You have to corral your kids.
You have to keep them in control.
Proverbs 22 says, go to Genesis 34.
Genesis 34.
It says, train up a child in the way you should go.
And when he is old, he will not depart from it.
If you do consistent training with your children,
they will get it.
Now, you know, let me give you a little bit of practical advice here.
I've kind of been preaching a lot of Bible for a moment.
But, you know, my wife specifically,
when she feels like the kids are not well behaved
or she needs them to tighten things up at church,
you know what she does is she has church at home.
She has church at home where the kids have to sit still
and she'll put on a sermon and they have to watch the sermon
and there's no talking, there's no touching,
there's no anything.
And if they do, they get disciplined immediately.
And since she's in the comfort of her home,
she doesn't have to worry about dragging them to the bathroom
and then coming back and all the other things.
I mean, it's just immediate strike.
It's just like, bam, you know, hey, you talk, bam.
And then when they're at church and you're like,
you better hush, they're like, you know, they straighten up.
But whenever you don't do that at home
and then you come to church and it's like,
shh, I'll take you to the bathroom.
I'll do it.
Oh, I'll do it.
And they're just like, it never happens.
You know what, then they don't take heed.
They don't take the advice.
You actually have to discipline your children.
You have to keep them in subjection.
And when you make a promise,
what did I talk about on Wednesday?
Isn't it like keep your vow?
Hey, why don't you keep your vow to your kids?
If you say next time, it's next time.
And you say, well, I can't always keep that word.
Well, then quit making that promise.
Because you're doing your children a disservice.
If you're going to punish your kids, punish your kids.
The rules that you make should be like the laws of the Medes and Persians.
It altereth not.
You know, it changes.
Whatever dad says, it happens.
Now, here's why I'm harping on this and ripping on this a little bit
is because they're not going to be little kids forever.
They start getting older.
And then the consequences start getting bigger
and the sins start getting bigger and the rebellion starts getting worse.
Look at Genesis 34.
When you're not there, what happens?
Verse one and dying of the daughter of Leah,
which she bear and Jacob went out to see the daughters of the land.
And when she came, the son of Hamor, the high fight,
prince of the country, saw her.
He took her and lay with her and deviled her.
That didn't take long.
Hey, she's been raised in this house, but you know what?
You just give her a little bit of a rope.
You just allow her to just go out a little bit.
Hey, she was really godly.
And then her freshman year in college,
just laying with guys, just right away.
Shechem likes her.
He just takes her.
And you know what?
I believe this is consensual.
I believe, you know, the Bible teaches that this is consensual.
You know, she's interested in Shechem, vice versa.
This is not something where he's just taking advantage of her
in, you know, like a forcing type way.
But that could happen, too.
And that does happen in college, too.
But here's the thing.
You know when this doesn't happen?
When dad's around.
But when there's a lack of parental, you know, supervision,
these things happen.
Why do you think 99% of young adults
commit fornication before marriage?
Because the parents weren't there.
That's why.
That's why if you want to not be in those statistics,
dad needs to be around.
And you know what?
You should praise God if your parents don't let you just go off on your own.
You should just realize, you know,
it seems like, ah, it's so restrictive.
And it's so, ah, I just want to get on my own.
And I just want to be my own person.
You would make bad decisions.
Dad's there to protect you and to guide you
and to keep you from doing things that aren't good.
You know, when you get out of dad's wing,
look, I didn't do anything bad while I lived under my parents' roof.
And my first year of college, I lived with my parents still.
And, you know, I was going to school there.
And I was tempted to do a lot of bad stuff.
But I think just being under my parents' house allowed me to say no to a lot of things.
But as soon as I moved out, as soon as my parents helped me get up my own place,
you know, that's when the wheels came loose.
And that's when a lot of bad decisions were made.
And you know what?
I don't want that for my children.
I don't want to allow my children to go down that dark road
because they might not have enough character.
They might have too many hormones.
And they're just going to do a lot of bad things.
They're going to make a lot of bad decisions.
So that's why you have to guard them and protect them
and not let them just go see the daughters of the land.
Not let them just get out.
Because then your children will be whores.
And, you know, in this story, Shechem's kind of a good guy.
He kind of wants to get married to this girl.
But a lot of Shechem's don't.
A lot of Shechem's are just like, oh, okay, see ya.
It's like a Tamar situation with Amnon.
Where as soon as he gets what he wants, he's like, see ya.
He doesn't even like her anymore.
Proverbs chapter 7 verse number 1.
Guys like a pursuit.
Guys like a chase.
And whenever they win immediately, they're done.
They're like, okay, let's move on to the next one.
I'm going to get something that's actually hard.
Proverbs chapter 7 verse 1.
My son, keep my words and lay up my commandments with thee.
Keep my commandments and live.
And my law is the apple of thine eye.
Bind them upon thy fingers.
Write them upon the table of thine heart.
Say unto wisdom, thou art my sister.
And call understanding thy kinswoman,
that they may keep thee from the strange woman,
from the stranger which flattereth with her word.
So notice the parent is keeping the son from what?
The whorish woman.
The woman that wants to take advantage of their son.
It says in verse 6, for at the window of my house,
I look through my casement and behold among the simple ones.
I discern among the youth a young man void of understanding.
Now again, this is common.
This is the common person, not understanding.
It says in verse 8, passing through the street near her corner.
And he went the way to her house in the twilight,
in the evening, in the black and dark night.
And the older met him, a woman, with the tire of a harlot.
And subtle of heart, she is loud and stubborn.
Her feet abide not in her house.
She's unruly.
She's not at home.
She's not taking heed to the Father's commandments.
She's loud.
She's stubborn.
Now she was out.
Now she's in the streets and lies in wait at every corner.
You know what that means?
It's not saying that one person's literally everywhere.
It's saying this is common.
Remember when I said the whole world's basically unruly?
It's because virtually every girl looks like a whore
and is attracting men like a whore would.
Go to the mall.
Go anywhere in this world.
They're all dressed scantily clad.
They're all dressed to attract men's attention.
Look, it's everywhere.
It's on every corner.
It says in verse 12, now she was out and out in the streets
and lies in wait at every corner.
So she caught him and kissed him,
and with an impudent face said unto him,
I have peace offerings with me.
This day have I paid my vows.
Therefore came I forth to meet thee diligently
to seek thy face.
She was waiting at the corner.
She's not searching for this guy.
She's just any guy will do.
And look, I've met, there's plenty of women like this.
Any guy will do.
And you know what?
She makes you feel special.
You're not special.
If a girl will be with you on the first date,
she'll be with any guy on the first date.
A woman has no respect for herself.
She's unruly.
She's just wanting that little bit of attention
and she doesn't care who it is.
It says I have found thee.
I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry,
with carved works, with fine linen.
Did she really prepare her bedroom
knowing that you were the guy
that's going to show up on the corner?
No.
There's these women, they have these big purses.
Beware of big purse girls.
You think I'm joking.
You know what big purse girls have?
They have a change of clothes in their purse.
They have a toothbrush in their purse.
You know why?
Because they're not planning on going home that night.
And she didn't know, oh, I found you.
She just wanted to find any sucker to take her.
Sorry, it's a little bit hard.
Women are going to get rid of their big purses
after this sermon.
Get a backpack, all right?
That means you have kids.
I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry,
with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt.
I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
Come, let us take our fill of love into the morning.
Let us solace ourselves with loves.
Here's the problem right here, verse 19.
For the good man is not at home.
Let those words ring in your ear.
The good man is not at home.
Would he have allowed this to happen?
Never.
But when he's not there,
when there's a lack of presence,
he's gone on a long journey.
He had taken a bag of money with him
and will come home at the day appointed.
With her much fair speech,
she caused him to yield.
With the flattering of her lips, she forced him.
Notice, we can tell she's lying.
The Bible just tells us she flattered him.
She just lied to him.
And you know what?
There's so many unruly people today.
You know why?
Because dad's not around.
Because dad's not in the picture.
You know what's the worst thing that can happen to a child?
Not having a father present.
You want to see the crime statistics
and then compare that with kids
that don't have a father around?
It's horrifying.
And you know what?
If you don't have that as an option,
you know what?
You do the best that you can.
I'm not saying that there can't be an exception here.
But you know what?
The exception proves the rule
that without a father there,
without a clear picture there,
without a strong parent there,
you know what?
You're doomed.
And you know, you got pictures where Timothy,
you know, his mom's like basically, you know,
Jew and his dad's like a half Greek.
And he's like a half Greek
because his dad's Greek or whatever.
And just from one side of the relationship,
you can sanctify the whole house.
The Bible teaches that.
You know what?
You need a strong parent there
and you need them present.
You be there for your children
and you know what?
Men let their daughter go out all the time
dressed like whores.
And what a horrible parent you are.
All the sick, disgusting dudes
that exist in this world
and you're going to let your daughter go out
just advertising herself like that,
horrible things are going to happen to your daughter.
You must not love your daughter.
And if you're not present,
if you're not around bad things,
I'm going to go to Leviticus chapter 19.
Leviticus chapter 19.
You know why he does that?
Because he doesn't want to take care of her.
Why don't you just go get a job
and why don't you go find enjoyment from your boyfriend?
You know, he doesn't want to sit there
and talk to his daughter
and spend time with his daughter
and invest in his daughter.
So he's just pushing her off to someone else.
Go hang out with your gal pals.
Go hang out with your boyfriend.
Go and do these things.
And he's not interested in protecting his daughter.
And look what the Bible warns in Leviticus 19 verse 28.
You should not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead,
nor print any marks upon you, I am the Lord.
Do not prostitute thy daughter to cause her to be a whore,
lest the land fall to whoredom
and the land become full of wickedness.
The Bible has a commandment not to prostitute your daughter.
Why would it say that if that would never happen?
It does happen today.
It's sick.
It's sad.
Men today will prostitute their daughter.
They'll ship them off to Bible college
advertising them to get married.
You don't think that dads send their daughters
off to Bible college or to college
just to try and get them married and get them off their back?
They do.
They're like, you just go out there
and you find somebody to take care of you and do it.
And maybe they don't word it that bluntly,
but that's what they're doing.
You know, my daughters are welcome to stay with me
until Jesus comes.
That's how long they're welcome to stay with me.
And you know what?
If there's no honorable men out there,
then I'll be there with her.
You know, I'll have four virgins that prophesy.
That's what I'll have.
But I'm not going to just let my daughter go out there
and get defiled by the world.
And you know what?
I'm going to punish her when she's little
and I'm going to punish her when she's older
and she's going to be under my house
and until some man proves himself worthy,
she's with me.
And you know what?
I'm not going to let her get taken advantage of
by the world today.
I don't want to have an unruly daughter.
I don't want to have a daughter that's going out
and just doing whatever she wants.
And you know what?
It's sick today and it's disgusting today
what women are putting themselves through
and allowing themselves to be taken advantage of
and to be made a folly today.
If you go out and you dress like a whore,
you'll be treated like a whore.
And no woman is worthy of that.
No woman should be treated like a whore.
That's why you should have respect for yourself.
That's why you should try to find a man
that's willing to put it all on the line
before you give him your one gift.
Hey, he should be willing to provide
and to be honorable and respectful
and to treat you with love and care.
And you know what?
If a guy says,
well, I'm not going to date you
if you won't lie with me,
tell him goodbye.
You know, the guy that really loves you would wait.
He's not going to look at something
that he can't have right now
and lose his desire
because he has to wait for it.
He's going to lose his desire
because he didn't really care
because he really didn't want you.
He just wanted the one thing
you took off the table.
Take that off the table, please, young ladies,
so that you can make sure
that this guy actually likes you
because you never know.
You get married
and then you realize,
hey, he doesn't really like me.
And he's already gotten what he wanted
and then he moves on
and he just tries to find it with someone else.
Look, you want the guy to like you
for other reasons.
You want the guy to be around
for other reasons.
You want him to wait and tell him no.
And if he's going to stay around,
then, you know, that's a pretty good sign.
Now, you talk about people
prostituting their daughter.
He's like, I don't know
if that's really happening, Pastor Shelley.
Well, how about this new documentary
that came out called Cuties?
And if you don't know about this,
God bless you
because it is disgusting.
It is a 2020 film.
It's from the French
because they only produce filth, I think.
And it's this basically,
it's about these young teenage girls
or even a little bit younger adolescent girls.
And one of the primary stars
is like living in a Muslim home.
And she's so repressed by her,
you know, parents or whatever
that she's finding an escape online.
And it's supposedly condemning
the hyper sexualization of young children
through online social media,
TikTok, these type of platforms
and things like that.
But it does exactly
what it's like preaching against.
It literally shows young,
like I don't remember the ages exactly,
but it's like around the ages
like 10, 11, 12,
you know, somewhere in that age group,
little girls, you know,
wearing very provocative clothing,
dressing like these Hollywood whores
and celebrities would
and doing all manner provocative things.
Look, that is gross.
That is disgusting.
They're literally promoting pedophilia today
on the screen today
and trying to entice people
with their children.
It's disgusting.
Not only that,
talk about fag marriage for a second again.
Sorry, I'm gonna hit this or this dead horse again,
but kick this one.
But you know, fags adopt children a lot.
And they're always caught
selling their kids to other people.
They're always caught
putting them in these rings
and abusing them
and just letting other people
do all manner of evil against them.
It's disgusting.
It's filthy.
It's abominable
what's going on in this world.
And you know, they use platforms
like social media
to attract new people into it
and to try and make it normal
and to try and get your kids to do it
so then it's not as immediately obvious
what they're doing.
Because they'll have these little kids
doing their little dance
and it seems all innocent
but it's an advertisement
for something behind the doors
that you didn't know about.
And then when everybody does it,
it's hidden in plain sight.
But you know what I'm never gonna do
is let my little girl
dress like a whore and get a phone
and broadcast that to the internet.
And you know what, if every parent did that,
then it wouldn't allow these pedophiles
to be able to do all their advertising
in broad daylight.
It's sick and disgusting
what this world is doing today.
And you know what, Christians are enabling it.
Christians are even thinking it's great.
Oh look, she's so cute
in her little cheerleader outfit.
That thing is making her look like a whore.
What cheerleading outfit
has ever looked modest ever?
And then this is honestly,
Christian parents,
they want little Susie to be a cheerleader.
And I'm thinking,
so she can have no respect for herself?
So she can just constantly dress like a whore
and look, I'm not for it, okay?
I'm against it and this world is very unruly.
And I'm sorry that the Bible's a sharp contrast
to the society you live in
but that's not my fault.
And I'm gonna continue to preach the Bible.
And you know what, that TikTok,
Brother Dylan's already preached against it
but it needs to be preached against again.
Look, this thing is disgusting and gross.
I mean, even America, as disgusting as America,
even America says it's bad.
You know, they might say it's because of security reasons
but look, I don't care what reason they say it is bad.
These apps, you know what I'm gonna let my kids
have unfettered access to the internet?
Never.
You know what I'm gonna let them have
these social media accounts?
Not in my house.
I don't want them going and advertising themselves
and broadcasting themselves.
And you know, any access they have
is gonna be with supervision.
Because I'm not interested in what's going on out there.
And let me explain something to you
about the internet and social media.
You know, it's just like handing them a loaded gun.
And why I say that is this.
I'm all for guns.
I'm all for having a loaded gun.
I'm all for using them.
I think they're great.
I'm very pro-Second Amendment.
But you know what, that does not legitimize
every use of a gun.
And you know what?
I'm not gonna hand my toddler a loaded gun
and be like, play with this, Johnny.
Have fun with this.
But you know what, the internet can be like that
with your children.
And social media can be like that with your children.
And hey, I'm not saying that they're
in and of themselves sinful.
They're not.
They have legitimate uses.
They have proper usages.
But you know what?
You need to be careful with those tools.
You need to have boundaries for those tools.
You don't use them without supervision.
I'm not gonna hand my five-year-old a gun
and say, have fun.
Use it wisely.
Don't point it at your brother too much, you know.
It's like, no.
You need to have strict boundaries.
You need to be aware of every situation.
As much care as you would give your child
with a loaded gun is how much you should use
for the internet, any social media sites,
and all of these platforms, because a lack of presence
is gonna cause unruly children.
Go to Job 39, Job 39.
I'm gonna give my last point this morning.
So, you know, some parents, they're not punishing.
Some parents, they're not present.
Some parents are both, okay?
And the level of unruly children is gonna be determined
by how many of these categories you're failing in.
You know, because some people, they're present
in their children's lives,
but they're just not punishing them.
They're gonna still be pretty unruly.
Or sometimes parents punish them,
but they're not present enough to punish them enough.
You need both.
And here's the last one that you need,
and this is a sad one,
but why kids are unruly is a lack of passion.
Lack of passion.
You can word this with love, care, anything,
but it's just a lack of passion for their children.
And it's sad today, but the Bible even describes
a bird that's like this.
It says in Job 39, look at verse 13.
Gave us now the goodly wings under the peacocks
or wings and feathers under the ostrich,
which leaveth her eggs in the earth
and warmth them in the dust,
and forgetteth that the foot may crush them,
or that the wild beast may break them.
She is hardened against her young ones,
as though they were not hers.
Her labor is in vain without fear,
because God has deprived her of wisdom,
neither hath he imparted to her understanding.
The Bible says there are women that are like stupid birds
that don't even care about their kids.
It could even be in their presence.
It could be something that they punish,
but if they have a lack of passion for their kids,
it's going to cause their kids to not love them.
There are independent, fundamental Baptist families.
They go to church three times a week.
They're always there with their kids.
Their kids are always in their presence.
They're very strict disciplinarians.
You know what?
They don't love their kids.
They're not passionate about their kids,
and their kids grow up and despise their parents
and leave and hate everything about it.
You need all three.
You know what?
In the military, they're going to be present,
and they're going to punish you,
but they do not have passion for you.
They do not care about you.
And that's why when people leave,
they're not like, I wish I could go back.
My drill sergeant, he was just my best buddy.
I mean, I just want to go hang out with him.
No.
And look, you don't want to be that parent either.
You need all three in your child's life.
You need to care about your children.
You need to love your children, and you
need to not be hardened against them
when they're in your presence.
She's like, they're not even mine.
You know, it's funny.
You see parents at church, and their kids
are misbehaving in front of everyone.
Everyone's pointing it out.
And the parent's just still just doing nothing.
And you're just like, it's like, what?
It's like it's not your kid somehow.
It's like you mentally just disappear.
It's like you mentally just don't care.
You walk up to a parent, and you're just like,
your kid did this.
Oh, OK.
Hey, the fridge says that kids are not
supposed to get into it for ice cream.
They've gotten three ice creams.
Well, there's a sign on the door.
Yeah, it's for you.
It's not for your kid to police himself.
It's for you to realize you need to police your kid, right?
You see people just do crazy things,
and you're just like, what's the problem?
It's just they don't care.
How could you not care about your kids?
You know what they care about?
Themselves.
You know what they care about?
Their career.
They care about everything but their child.
And the thing you should care about more than anything
is your child.
It should be the opposite.
You should care more about your children than you.
The Bible says that you're supposed to behave yourself
in the house of God.
And when you go to someone else's house,
is the tendency to think I should behave myself better,
the same, or worse than at my house?
You think most people say better, right?
You go to someone else's house.
Imagine someone that you really like
that's got a really nice house.
They keep it really tidy.
They have lots of cool decorations.
You're telling your kids, don't touch stuff.
Don't jump on the furniture.
Don't do these things, you know.
This is called the house of God.
Couldn't you have that same mentality
about the house of God?
I mean, if you're going to talk about people you like,
shouldn't be God.
You're trying to impress that has important things.
Hey, let's not try.
Look, I've seen in these hymnals, this one,
not the one in the, I've seen this one.
It's chock full of coloring.
I'm like, how did that even happen?
I'm thinking like, what in the world
is going on in the house of God
that people are just running around,
screaming and running on the chair?
Look, if you wouldn't do that at home,
you certainly shouldn't do it here.
If you wouldn't do it at a neighbor's house,
you certainly shouldn't do it here.
And you know what?
My kids will misbehave,
but they're going to get punished for misbehaving.
And if you see them, you tell me,
and I will fix the problem.
You know, being wasteful.
People just, for whatever reason, it's church.
It's like, well, it's fine to be wasteful at church.
It's like, would you go to someone else's house
and they serve you dinner?
They put a plate of food.
And you're just like, where's the trash?
And they're like, over there.
And you just take the plate and you just dump.
Like, I'm not interested in that.
How disrespectful would that be?
You know, people at church,
they have no problem doing that at church.
Hey, they'll just load up plates
and they won't even eat any of it.
It's just thrown all away.
You know, just grab a water bottle
and just take a little sip out of it.
Just, you know, OK, I'm done with that.
They don't mind being wasteful at God's house.
You know, we need to have a safe environment.
I don't want to be an advertisement for birth control
when someone shows up here.
And they're like, wow, I need to never have children.
I hope people come in and they say,
I can't even believe it.
There's all these kids in the service and it was great.
I can't even believe how well behaved these.
This is not like my nieces and nephews.
This is not like my cousins.
This is not like the public school at all.
I mean, they are really well behaved.
You know, and the point of commandments
is to make sin exceeding sinful is what the Bible says.
You know why commandments exist?
Because you have bad behavior.
Now, I looked up really silly laws in Texas.
Here's a silly law in Texas.
You're not allowed to carry wire cutters in Austin.
You know why?
Because people used to walk around just cutting people's wires
all the time.
So then they made it illegal.
You can't even carry wire cutters in your pocket.
It's illegal.
You're not allowed to eat out of your neighbor's dumpster.
You know why these laws exist?
Because people are doing them.
You're legally married by just announcing it publicly.
If you just say like, we're married.
In Texas, you're married.
Be careful, all right?
In some cities in Texas, you're not
allowed to walk barefoot without a permit.
It's illegal to sell your eyes.
Who tried that one?
You're not allowed to shoot a buffalo
from a second story of a hotel.
You know, you go to a church and you're like,
man, I can't believe all these rules.
You know why?
It's because people do those things.
If you police yourself perfectly,
there's no need for rules.
The reason you have rules is because people
constantly transgress.
You know why you have all these rules?
Because people are not allowed to do that.
You have rules because people are not behaving themselves well.
And you know, if you're going to raise a godly family,
you have to care.
It just boggles the mind.
Because the ostrich doesn't even remember like his kids.
It's like, why would you go through so much effort,
so much energy?
I mean, birth, pregnancy, diapers, diapers, potty
training, potty training, all the meals,
it's tough to just eventually just start quitting mentally.
Parents quit.
And I'm thinking like, that was so much of an investment.
Why would you quit?
And I get it.
You know, even halfway into this building project,
I had a moment where I wanted to rage quit, OK?
It was like everything was going sideways
and it was like the bathrooms weren't working
and the flooring wasn't working.
And I had this stain and I'd put it in this like,
one of these like chemical dispensers or whatever.
And the rubber hose, there's acetone in it,
I didn't think about it, ate through the rubber hose.
And so I pump it and then it just goes.
And it's just like a geyser.
Like I discovered oil or something everywhere in the room
and it's super hot and all the people that I've scheduled
to come work, they're like not showing up.
And I was just like, I just want to rage quit right now.
And I get it.
You know, at home, I guarantee there's moments
where the mom's like, I'm ready to rage quit, you know.
I'm just going to get in the car and leave
and hope the kids figure it out.
Or I'm packing them up and sending them off, you know.
I get it.
There's going to be tough days.
There's going to be tough moments.
But why do you want to kiss away that huge investment
that you've already made?
Please don't kiss away the investment you've already made.
Double down.
Say, you know what?
We're going to fix this.
You know what I did?
I ended up calling somebody and I asked them to help
and they brought a lot of help
and we got it all figured out.
You know, call for help.
But don't waste all the things that God's given you.
What a waste of time, effort, energy that God gave you
of that child to then just quit on the child.
Don't quit on your child.
They're unruly.
God made them that way.
You've got to beat the foolishness out of them.
You've got to correct them.
Now, for sake of time, I don't have all,
I can't go to this other, this place that I wanted to go,
but go if you would to Matthew 18
and I'm going to try to finish this sermon.
Here's the thing.
I don't want visitors to be horrified by the children here
and, you know, women who cannot manage their children properly,
let me just give you a sad reality.
They will cause other women not to want to have children,
by your bad example.
Women that always look like they, you know,
there's, ah, my kids are so awful
and they have all these kids.
You could actually convince a woman in her own mind
not to have more kids.
What a sad reality through a bad example.
You know, it can cause resentment in the marriage
when you're not disciplining your children
because, look, when the kids are misbehaving, it's conflict.
And you know what?
It can cause a lot of strife between mom and dad
when the kids are unruly
and the parents aren't disciplining their kids.
Hey, if you want your marriage to be better,
make sure the kids are on point.
Make sure the kids are well behaved.
That will cause a lot less strife in the marriage.
And I'm just, I'm trying to give you some advice here.
I'm trying to give you some tips
not because I just want to come down on you,
because I love you and I want you to have good kids
for their sake and for your sake.
And let me give you this last thing I want to talk about
is how to deal with conflict, okay?
How do I deal, let's say there's an unruly child in the church
and it's affecting you negatively and it's not your kid
because that happens, okay?
Or they're affected with your kids
and their kids aren't getting along.
There's problems.
That's going to happen, okay?
Especially in this church, in any church,
it's going to happen.
You're going to have conflicts.
How do you handle this?
Well, Matthew 18, verse 15 says,
Moreover thy brother shall trespass against thee.
Go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone.
That's how you handle it.
If you have a problem with a kid, you go to their parent,
you go to the dad or the mom, and you say,
this is what they did.
Now, as a parent, if someone comes to me
you know what I taught this philosophy,
the customer's always right.
Obviously, I'm not taking this to a super weird extreme,
but I am taking it to virtually any criticism
that's given to me, I will just accept it,
whether it seems legit or not,
and I'll deal with it privately at home.
And it's not your job to make sure that they,
all right, here's the paddle for your kid,
spank them in front of me.
No, you get to discipline your kids in your own private home
and your own way, you deal with them.
But you know what?
If you come and tell me my kid's misbehaving,
I'm just going to accept it.
I'm not going to just be like,
Johnny would never do that, or never say that,
or I can't, how dare you, you know.
I'm just going to be like, thanks for telling me.
And I'm going to try and fix the problem.
And I'm going to try and just,
what happens if they don't fix it?
Well, if you've gone to them privately,
and you've only talked to them privately,
and it's you and them alone,
and it's just between you and them,
and nothing's being fixed, and there's a constant problem,
you come tell the leadership,
whether that be a church plant leadership,
or you tell me if I need to hear,
and I will fix the problem.
And if the problem doesn't get fixed,
then it becomes a whole church-wide issue,
is what the Bible says.
You know, it's not for you to go around
and gossip about people.
This person has bad kids,
or did you hear what this kid did to my kid,
or did you hear what this parent did,
or this parent's lazy, or this parent's bad.
Look, deal with yourself.
Hear this sermon for you.
Not like, I know who's on that list.
No, you fix yourself,
and if you have a problem with someone,
go to them directly.
Otherwise, keep your mouth shut,
and then appeal to the authority.
The parent is the authority,
and they need to hear, go to the leadership,
go to me, and we want to have
a safe environment for our church.
I don't want to have a chaotic church.
I don't want to have a church where kids
are just running around doing crazy things.
Look, why is there unruly children?
Because there's a lack of punishment,
a lack of presence, a lack of passion,
and I saved this for last because
you only remember the last little bit anyways.
I'm going to give real specific examples,
because without, you know, hard preaching
is biblical, corrective, and specific, all right?
Kids getting into posted areas that are restricted,
like the fridge and the ice maker,
unruly child.
Kids taking their siblings into
the mother-baby areas without their parent.
That is rebellious.
It's only for mothers and their kids.
Throwing fits when they don't get what they want.
That is an unruly child.
You need to discipline them.
Do not reward bad behavior. Never.
If my kid's throwing a fit because they want a candy bar,
they are not getting it.
For whatever reason, they are going to get disciplined.
Not being able to share.
You see, kids, if some other kid comes
and takes something out of their hand,
they throw that fit, they like rage,
they get super mad, and you know that's going to happen.
But you know what? That's a bad attribute.
You should teach your kids how to share
and how to just handle a negative situation
and not just like punch them as soon as they do something
and they look at your toy or whatever.
Getting on the stage. Running.
Adults getting onto them that are not their parents
and them not correcting the behavior.
Hey, if an usher can see your kid running
and tells them not to run and they can't obey that,
that's an unruly child.
You know, when an adult corrected me as a child,
I was scared. I was terrified.
And this used to be the worst thing that they could say to you.
I'm going to tell your dad.
And you'd be like, no, no, please.
I don't do anything. Don't tell my dad.
You know what? They're like, I'm going to tell dad.
And he's like, pfft.
Nothing's going to happen.
This would be the worst thing to be here.
You don't want to be like, I'm going to tell dad.
And he's like, dad will defend me.
He's like, not in this house.
You don't want dad to be told in this house.
Attitude.
You know, an adult tries to correct them and they're just like,
hey, you're not my parents.
They should have respect for all adults in this room.
Not saying yes, sir, and being respectful.
Instigating trouble, causing their siblings to do stuff.
Hey, you go get that. You do this.
Picking on other kids.
Climbing on things. Here's things.
Fornication. You have an unruly child
if they're committing fornication. Period.
It's not love.
It's not like they're misunderstood.
That's an unruly child.
Dressing like a whore.
That's an unruly child.
If you're letting your daughter come to church dressed like a whore,
you have an unruly child.
Letting your son dress effeminate.
Uh oh, West Coast.
Baptist College.
They have a bunch of unruly kids over there.
Your kids sneaking out of the house?
Unruly.
Hey, they're drinking? Unruly.
They're doing drugs? Unruly.
Not answering their phone when their parents call? Unruly.
And let me tell you this, kids.
Whenever you mess up, you're causing shame to your parents.
You be a good kid.
Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right, is what the Bible says.
Children should obey. You should be the best kid.
I don't care what your siblings do.
You do that which is right every time.
Putting your hands on other kids.
Keep your hands to yourself.
There's some kids and it's like they just grab every other kid by the neck
and they're like giving them nuggies and they're just all over them
and they're just constantly being harassed.
Look, kids that just scream.
Kids that are constantly causing spills and don't care.
And let me say this.
No one's perfect.
We're all going to mess up.
But when you see your kids mess up, deal with it.
That's the essence of the sermon.
Deal with your kids.
Love your kids. Be passionate about your kids.
Be present in your kids' lives and punish your kids.
Let's go to the prayer. Thank you Father so much for this word.
Thank you for your commandments that you've given us.
Thank you for being a loving parent and showing us by your example
how we should deal with our own children.
I pray that you would just encourage us and embolden us
to follow these commandments that we've read in the Bible.
And the Bible gives us the promise that if we train up a child in the way he should go
when he's old, he will not depart from it.
You give us promises that we can deliver our children's soul from hell.
You promise us that we can have delight in our children.
And I don't want anyone to not have those promises,
to not have delight in their children.
I pray that we could just have a great church where we raise our children to love you,
that we could raise the next generation to be godly children
who want to serve the Lord, who are saved, who are going out and following the commandments
and that we would not just be wasteful with the gifts that you've blessed us with of all these children.
I pray that you continue to bless us with even more children.
And in Jesus' precious name we pray. Amen.