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Look at verse 11.
Thy lips, O my spouse, drop as the honeycomb.
Honey and milk are under thy tongue, and the smell of thy garments is like the smell of Lebanon.
So notice that the words, what's under the tongue is honey and milk.
You know, honey and milk are usually pictures or metaphors of the Bible.
And talking very sweetly, nourishing, wisdom.
Milk is, you know, a great thing in the Bible.
I can't stand people that talk badly about milk.
You know, you have problems, you know, with the Bible because milk is great.
Keep your finger right here and just flip a few pages backwards to Proverbs 31 for just a second.
I just want to compare a few verses.
But we should be speaking sweetly to one another, speaking as if we're speaking honey and speaking milk.
These things are pictured as being biblical, sweet, kind, wisdom.
Look what the Bible says in verse 26.
Talking about the proverbial woman.
She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of what?
Kindness.
I'm telling you something, ladies, the best way you can speak is with kindness.
Regularly be kind, speaking with honey, speaking with milk, speaking sweetly, speaking comely under your spouse.
This is going to really spice up your marriage, bless your marriage, do good.
Look at verse 12.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Say, what days should the wife speak sweetly?
All the days of her life.
She's only going to do good unto her husband.
This is what is instructed to us.
Go to chapter 5 for a second, go to Proverbs chapter 5 for a second.
All the way back to Proverbs chapter 5, look at verse 3.
Now this is what I want you to understand, ladies.
Men love, love being talked sweetly to.
And you know who figured this out?
Whores.
Whores figured this out.
Look at Proverbs chapter 5 verse 3.
For the lips of a strange woman drop as a what?
A honeycomb.
And her mouth is smoother than oil.
So if you don't talk sweetly to your husband, you know what?
Whores and adulteresses will come and try to swoop in and what do they do?
They try to attract them with that honeycomb of their speech.
Talking sweetly to him, building him up, respecting him.
And you know what?
That is what men need.
Men need that.
And if you don't give it to him, some other lady will give it to him.
And look, men greatly desire this.
They need it.
They need, as I always call it, that cheerleader.
And the cheerleader is supposed to be the proverbial woman who just simply is always encouraging,
always on his side.
It doesn't matter how the score is.
She's just on your team.
And again, this is what's going to help healthy marriages.
When they're getting this from home, they don't need it from the whore.
They don't need it from the strange woman.
When you don't give it to him, you entice him or make it more difficult for him
when other women are going to offer this to him.
And so I'm just trying to show you that men like the same thing.
Go back, if you would, to Song of Solomon, chapter number 4, where we were.
Look at verse 12.
The Bible says,
Now, if you pay attention, verse 12,
So when it says that he's going to go into his garden and eat his fruits, who's the garden referred to?
It's referred to the wife.
The wife is the garden.
And notice what she's saying.
Meaning that she is willing to give him the pleasures of their relationship at his desire, at his will.
She is his special garden.
She is the one that has the fruits.
And he's supposed to be enticed and offered to come and partake in those fruits.
Now, go back to Proverbs, chapter number 5.
Keep your finger and go back to Proverbs, chapter 5.
Additionally, she was compared to not only a garden, but a fountain, a fountain of living waters.
Proverbs, chapter number 5, look at verse 15.
Drink waters out of thine own cistern and running waters out of thine own well.
Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad and rivers of waters in the streets.
Let them be only thine own and not strangers with thee.
Let the fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Notice how if you actually compare spiritual with spiritual,
the fountain addressed in Song of Solomon, chapter 4,
is also the same as pictures of the fountain here in Proverbs, chapter number 5.
And it's what? It's the wife.
And notice it's only yours.
You're supposed to be jealous only for your wife.
You're supposed to be blessed with her.
Verse 19, let her be as the loving hind in pleasant row.
Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times, and be thou ravished always with her love.
What's the emphasis of this? At all times.
What's the emphasis of this? Always with her love.
Always with her love.
Telling me what? Physical intimacy is an important thing.
You say when? At all times.
How often? Always.
I mean, if we really explore this topic, there's a lot in the Bible in this topic.
1 Corinthians chapter 7 makes it abundantly clear
that we're not supposed to defraud one another
and that we're supposed to come together regularly
lest Satan tempt us for incontinency.
Incontinency is a difficult word.
What does incontinency mean? A lack of self-control.
A lack of self-control.
And it's just simply saying, look,
as men and women, we need to eat physically regularly.
We have three meals a day. We need to drink regularly.
And the same is, married couples need to be intimate regularly.
That is an important aspect of a marriage.
It's really important, and it's not my opinion.
It's what the Bible's saying.
My opinion does not matter.
The only thing that matters is what the text is saying, and the text is saying at all times.
The text is saying always.
The text is implying every single day that he's coming into the garden, that he's invited in, okay?
Go, if you would, back to Song of Solomon.
And I want to look at chapter 7 for a second and look at verse 12.
Chapter 7, verse 12.
Let us get up early to the vineyards.
Let us see if the vine flourish, whether the tender grape appear and the pomegranate bud forth.
There will I give thee my loves.
And this is the wife again talking to the husband, saying, hey, let's wake up early.
And there I will give thee my loves.
Notice, and if you pay attention to this phrasing and where we started at the very beginning.
In Ephesians, chapter 5, the husband's supposed to give himself unto the wife.
And notice here what the wife, the wife is supposed to give herself unto the husband.
A good marriage is one where you're not focused on what you get but what you give.
What are you giving?
What are you sowing?
What are you planting?
What are you washing?
You know, as husbands, we should be focused on what we're doing for our wives, not what we're getting out.
You know, talking sweetly to her, paying attention to her, hanging out with her, teaching her spiritual truths, being physically active with her.
You know, giving her the things that she likes, the compliments and the kisses and the embraces,
and thinking about her and the sweet notes and the cute nicknames and all the different things.
But women love this.
And then as women, you know, you should be asking your husband the question spiritually
and doing things physically with your husband and giving him of your loves, satisfying him at all times.
Go over to Proverbs 31.
I'm sorry, go to chapter 5.
I want to go to chapter 5 first.
So how to spice up your marriage?
Number one, be spiritual.
Number two, be physically active.
Number two, be intimate.
Number four is you need to communicate.
And the next few points aren't going to be as long but, you know, number four is a really important point.
But I think that most people, this is kind of like the only one they even work on.
And it's just because it's simply like the easiest one to do.
And yet communication is still a problem that a lot of people have, but as a part of a relationship,
you need to regularly be communicating, be social with one another, be friends with one another.
And you need to talk about things that are not just spiritual, not just physically active, not just intimate.
Sometimes you just need to talk about your lives.
And this is what women really like. Women really like this.
You know, and as men we need to get better at communicating, but they want to be friends.
And look at what it says in Song of Solomon chapter 5 verse 16.
His mouth is most sweet, yea, he is altogether lovely.
This is my beloved and this is my friend.
You don't need to just be a lover of your spouse, you need to be a friend with your spouse.
You know, talk to her about her day.
Many of you men that have a wife that already has kids, they're not intellectually challenged with a two year old.
They don't have a lot of gripping conversations with a four year old.
And you know what they desire? Is to have an intelligent conversation.
And you at work talk with coworkers and friends and bosses and customers and whatever.
And you know, you give them a lot of attention throughout the day.
But you know what your wife needs? Your wife needs for you to come home and then talk to her.
And let's be honest dudes, she'll do 90% of the talking.
That's generous.
But she wants occasional, uh huh, yea, oh man.
And sometimes you get so good at it you don't even realize that you're responding.
She's like, did you know what I just said? And you're like, of course.
But she wants you to be engaged. She wants to talk.
And you know, most of the time, she's not even really wanting to have a conversation.
It's a monologue, okay?
Let her get it out. She's been sitting there all day with these young children.
And she's like bottled up and she's ready to explode.
And then she comes home and like a lot of men, they just don't get it.
But you know what they need that.
Just like you get bottled up and need things, she gets bottled up and needs things.
And as a successful relationship, you need to communicate regularly with your spouse.
You need to have a friendship with your spouse.
Enjoy things. Talk about things. Talk about things that are funny and silly.
And you know, again, I'm not saying that you can't have fun and do things online that you like.
But let's be honest ladies, if all you do is just look at TikTok videos all day
and then he comes home and you're just going to tell him about all the TikTok videos you saw,
it's probably not that engaging.
Maybe read a couple chapters of the Bible during the day and ask him a few questions about the Bible when he gets home.
Right? And talk about recipes or talk about the plans you have to decorate the house.
Talk about things that, you know, y'all can both kind of engage in a little bit.
And think about things that are going to be somewhat interesting to him too.
But you know what, you both need to have a little bit of a friendship.
Talk, communicate, regularly engage one another, explore one another.
And sometimes, in fact, what really helps this area of life is when you guys are a little bit different.
Like if she has some different interests and hobbies and you have some different interests and hobbies,
so then when you talk it's actually an interesting conversation.
Whereas when you're kind of just the exact same and you do the same things and it's like,
did you see this? Yeah, I saw it. Did you see it? Yeah, I saw it.
It's like, get some new hobbies, right?
Find some new interests and find some new things and engage one another.
And it kind of rolls into my last point.
Go to Proverbs 31 now and we'll kind of finish on this last point.
It's not only you need to communicate, you need to educate.
Okay, so the five areas that I think you really spice your marriage.
Number one, spiritual. Number two, physical.
Number three, intimacy. Number four, communication.
And number five is education. You should both be learning regularly.
You should both be learning regularly and sometimes learning together.
Education is very important in a relationship and in a marriage and it helps the conversation.
Like the communication really drags when neither person is ever learning.
When both parties are constantly learning, let me tell you something,
the communication gets going off the charts, okay?
And exploring hobbies and interests that you both have, this really helps all those other areas.
All of these areas help each other.
It's like when you're being spiritual, you draw closer.
When you're being physically active, sometimes it leads to the intimacy, you know?
And then, of course, you know, when you're educating, sometimes it helps with the communication.
You're communicating. It can lead to all these different areas.
I mean, they all really gel well together.
And when you're growing this garden, they all flourish together and you can constantly be harvesting
and it'll really improve your relationship.
But let me say before I, you know, kind of get into this point, it takes work.
Marriage will never be easy. It's always hard work.
And as soon as you start taking it easy, pretty soon you'll stop reaping.
Don't quit on your marriage. Don't stop putting effort into your marriage.
Don't just quit and give up and start taking it easy.
Don't just think like, well, I'll start loving you again when you start loving me.
No, start working.
Work at your marriage. Work on putting some spiritual energy into your marriage.
Work on putting some physical energy. Work on the intimacy.
Work on the communication and work on the education.
Look at Proverbs 31 verse 26.
She opened her mouth with wisdom.
Look, there is a connection in the Bible with godly women and smart women.
There's not this example of this dumb woman who's just super godly.
Like, the super godly women are the wise women.
And women should be studying the Bible, educating themselves, constantly learning.
Go back to chapter 12. Look at verse number 1.
Chapter 12 verse 1.
Whoso loveth instruction loveth knowledge, but he that hateth reproof is brutish.
A good man obtaineth favor of the Lord, but a man of wicked devices will he condemn.
A man shall not be established by wickedness, but the root of the righteous shall not be moved.
A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but she that maketh ashamed is his rottenness and his bones.
So notice a woman is either the best thing in your life or the worst thing in your life.
And that virtuous woman is the one who's the crown, but the one that's constantly making you ashamed.
What makes, you know, a man ashamed of his life?
Her being stupid, dressing inappropriately, not having discretion.
All of these different things are related to intelligence.
And I believe that verse 1 is kind of important to set the tone that notice you're supposed to love instruction and you love knowledge,
but when you hate it, you hate reproof and become brutish.
Ladies, you need to embrace correction from your husband.
You say, why? Because otherwise you're going to become stupid.
What does it say? It says he that hateth reproof is brutish.
Don't think that your husband is mean because he corrects you.
He actually corrects you because he loves you.
And I'll tell you what, you'll become a much better woman if you embrace correction from your husband
and if you want correction from your husband.
You don't ask him trick questions. Like, is the meal good?
It's like if it sucks, let him tell you that it sucks and don't get mad at him.
Because then, eventually, you're going to just make crappy food.
And then you're going to come bring me crappy food at the cookie bake-off and at the chili cook-off and at every other event.
And I'm thinking, like, someone needed to tell you that this sucked.
And I'm not mad at you. I love you. That's why I told you.
The person that doesn't tell you is the one that doesn't like you. Okay?
And I'm trying to help you really. You know, you as women, you should desire your husband to correct you.
Let me tell you something. When I went to the preaching class at Faithful Word Baptist Church,
the one thing I wanted more than anything was correction.
What did I do wrong? What can I improve?
And let me tell you something. The best spirit you can have in this life is one that just says,
How can I improve? Because, you know, when people correct you, your feelings don't get hurt. You get better.
People that are constantly getting their feelings hurt end up becoming protesters.
And they're the dumbest people in the world.
You know what? We should embrace criticism. Criticism won't hurt you. It'll make you stronger.
Criticism makes you better. Stop getting offended at criticism.
People that won't criticize you don't love you.
And as children, you know, children embrace criticism from your parents.
We need to get to a point where we love criticism, where we love correction, where we love rebuke, we love reproof.
In fact, you won't even like the Bible if you don't like criticism.
Because frankly, the Bible will criticize you up and down, one side or the other, and make you feel so wicked.
These people that say they don't sin, they don't read the Bible.
You read the Bible and you're like, Whoa, I've got problems.
That's why the Bible said the king was supposed to constantly read the Bible to humble himself.
Because why? The king could get a really lofty, elevated thought process about how wonderful he is,
and the only person that can help drag him down is who? God.
God's constantly like, No, you really suck, actually.
He's like, Yeah, you're right. I have a lot of problems. You have a lot of issues.
Even pastors, leaders, husbands, wives, we all need to constantly be reading the Bible to humble ourselves.
We need to constantly be seeking reproof and instruction. We need to constantly be educating ourselves.
Look at chapter 8. Go back a little bit. Proverbs chapter 8 and look at verse 6.
The Bible says here,
For I will speak of excellent things, and the opening of my lips shall be right things.
For my mouth shall speak truth, and wickedness is an abomination to my lips.
All the words of my mouth are in righteousness. There is nothing forward or perverse in them.
This is talking about wisdom, and wisdom is often personified as a woman.
And it should apply to both, male and female. But what should we speak like? We should speak truth.
Wickedness is an abomination. All the words of my mouth are in righteousness.
We're not forward. We're not perverse. What we're saying is we're saying things in wisdom.
I want to look at another place here. Look at chapter 11 and look at verse 22.
As a jewel of gold and a swine snout, so is a fair woman, which is without discretion.
This is like all your Hollywood celebrities.
These women, they might look attractive, but boy, when they open their mouth, you're just like,
This is terrible.
And you know what? The Bible praises beauty. Beauty is not a bad thing.
But at the same time, what's way more important is fearing the Lord,
is having discretion, is being wise.
And sometimes even beauty can trick you.
Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain.
But a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
And most women, they desire physical beauty, but it's really kind of vain.
You know what makes a woman great? Wisdom, learning, educating.
As husbands and wives, we need to constantly be educating ourselves.
As husbands, we need to be having our wives educate themselves.
What areas? I don't know. How about how to make the greatest meals ever?
There's so many aspects of things that wives do that are so important.
I mean, the cooking, the cleaning, the child raising, their education.
There's so many aspects of these things that are so important, and they're being forgotten and lost.
And in our society, it's degrading itself.
It used to be, proverbially speaking, like, what was the greatest meal?
Grandma's meal. Why? Because she's been making that thing for 50 years.
She knows how to make a meal, right?
And it's like, how do you get there?
You have to make the meals over and over and over and allow Grandpa to be like, this sucks, you know?
Some of you actually know, you had Grandpa, like, if the meal wasn't right or things weren't right, he would just say it.
And then you look at Grandpa, you're like, man, why is everything so great here?
It's because he made things great.
Let men make their houses great again by saying something.
And they're not being so icy all the time.
Now, look, what we read in Song of Solomon still applies that when we speak even correction,
we should do it sweetly and with kindness and care and compassion.
Hey, this isn't the best. You could probably improve this. This needs more salt.
Cook this longer. Cook this not as long, right?
This is tough, you know?
Whatever the issue is, you know, hey, I don't like Indian food.
What are you doing? Okay.
Throw it in the trash. Make some waffles, right? Whatever.
You would throw your wife's food in the trash?
Well, you know, if it needs to go in the trash, it needs to go in the trash, folks.
Don't, you know, I've gone to work and coding and I remember I made all these commits
and I walked in and my boss just literally took all my commits and just completely undid them.
It was just like throwing in the trash.
He's like serving them a meal and I'm just taking, just putting it straight in the trash.
And you know what? It didn't feel good. I didn't like it.
But I could learn something from it.
And, you know, instead of just getting mad at them for doing this, just learn.
Just learn and get better. Proverbs 9, look at verse 13.
Sometimes I've had meals from other people and I'm thinking that should have just been thrown in the trash.
And then we don't have to ever have that again, right?
I guarantee you visit foreign countries, there's a lot of meals that should be thrown in the trash, okay?
Like the rat. Come on, folks.
Can't we have a better society?
It's like the guy that accepted the rat was a weak man, okay?
He's like, I will fast before I eat this.
Proverbs 9, look at verse 13.
A foolish woman is clamorous. She is simple and knoweth nothing.
Oh, did this say being stupid is good? Nope.
It said the foolish woman is the one that doesn't know anything.
Our women should be wise. We should educate them.
Our men should be wise. You should constantly educate yourself. You should constantly read.
Hey, you know what? You should encourage every, every one of you men in here need to encourage yourself
and your friends to read a book about communism.
Because communism is creeping into this country like never before and people don't even know what that means.
Educate yourself on what communism is like.
Because I guarantee if every single man in America read a book on communism, it wouldn't creep in.
And I guarantee if every man would read the King James Bible, we wouldn't have Joel Osteen, folks.
And if men could actually learn how to read and to study and to actually educate themselves, we wouldn't be in this problem.
But you know what? My people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge.
And I'm telling you what, marriages many times are destroyed for a lack of just knowledge.
They're just both too stupid to even keep the relationship together.
Don't be stupid.
Here's another area you men need to educate yourselves on. Pay attention to your wife.
Like, I cannot count how many times I've seen the wife.
You just even have to just barely glance at her and you can tell she's furious.
And the guy is just like...
It's just like, dude, you're such an idiot.
Just notice that your wife's upset about what you're doing and make a change.
Like, educate yourself on your wife. Pay attention to her emotions. Pay attention to her signals.
Sometimes they're so obvious, it's like she's screaming and you're like...
And everybody else is like, dude, fix this area, okay?
And you know what? That'll destroy marriage.
I've seen it. I've seen it where the woman...
It's like she just keeps getting more exasperated.
Nothing.
And you're just like, dude, get a grip, man.
It's like, figure out... Pay attention.
You know, your wife shouldn't even have to get to that point. Pay attention to her.
And we all need to work on these areas.
Get more spiritual, do some physical activity, get more intimate,
start communicating more, and educate yourself.
Be a lifelong learner.
And put a lot of work in your marriage. It's an important institution.
Other things aren't as important.
I know you have a lot of things going on on your plate.
Start putting more time into marriage.
Because you're going to be with her for a long time.
You're going to be with him for a long time.
And you're going to enjoy a lot more if you start sowing right now.
Don't expect to have a great marriage tomorrow if you start sowing today.
But you know what? I do believe if you don't faint, you will reap in due season.
Let's close in prayer.
Thank you Heavenly Father so much for giving us the institution of marriage
and blessing us with husbands and wives
and with this great opportunity to have such a close relationship
that models Christ's love for the church.
I pray that you would help all the men in this room to love their wives more,
to be the spiritual leaders they need to be,
to be the physical leader that they need to be,
to lead in intimacy and to love and talk sweetly to his wife.
And I pray that you would help the wives also reciprocate
love and romance with each other.
I pray that you would help us to all communicate better,
to learn more about each other and to learn more about this world
and learn more about the Bible.
And that you would just help bless the marriages in this room
so that we could be great servants of the Lord Jesus Christ.
That we could have blessed marriages and raise great children
and that we could be a bright and shining light in such a dark world
where marriage is constantly being destroyed and desecrated and just failed.
I pray that you would help us to be a success by following your commandments
and taking them seriously.
In Jesus' name we pray.
Amen.
Alright, for our final song we're going to sing 343, Revive Us Again.
343, Revive Us Again.
We praise thee, O God, for the Son of thy love,
for Jesus, who died and is now gone above.
Hallelujah by the glory, hallelujah, amen.
Hallelujah by the glory, revive us again.
We praise thee, O God, for thy Spirit of life,
who has shown us our Savior and scattered our night.
Hallelujah by the glory, hallelujah, amen.
Hallelujah by the glory, revive us again.
All glory and praise to the Lamb that was slain,
who has borne all our sins and has cleansed every stain.
Hallelujah by the glory, hallelujah, amen.
Hallelujah by the glory, revive us again.
Revive us again.
Fill each heart with thy love.
May He strongly be handled with fire from above.
Hallelujah by the glory, hallelujah, amen.
Hallelujah by the glory, revive us again.
Thank you all for coming this morning.
God bless. You are dismissed.