Music
Good afternoon, everybody, and welcome to Steadfast Baptist Church. It's great to see
everybody here tonight. If we can go ahead and find our seats, we will get started. And
for our first song, once you've found a hymnal, go to song number 53. Song number 53, start
tonight out with a newer song. Song number 53, Beulah Land. Some might be familiar, some
not. If you are, sing it out very loud so we can all follow along. Beulah Land, song
53. Everybody sing it out on the first.
I've reached the land of joy divine,
And all its riches freely mine.
Here shines a hymn one blestful day,
For all my night has passed away.
O Beulah Land, sweet Beulah Land,
As on my highest mount I stand,
I look away across the sea,
Where mansions are prepared for me,
And view the shining glory shore,
My heaven, my home forevermore.
My Savior comes and walks with me,
And sweet communion here have we,
He gently leads me by His hand,
For this is heaven's borderland.
O Beulah Land, sweet Beulah Land,
As on my highest mount I stand,
I look away across the sea,
Where mansions are prepared for me,
And view the shining glory shore,
My heaven, my home forevermore.
A sweet perfume upon the breezes,
Born from heaven,
And flowers that never may grow,
Where streams of life forever flow.
O Beulah Land, sweet Beulah Land,
As on my highest mount I stand,
I look away across the sea,
Where mansions are prepared for me,
And view the shining glory shore,
My heaven, my home forevermore.
The zephyr seem to float to me,
Sweet sounds of heaven's melody,
As angels with a white robe join,
In the sweet redemption song,
O Beulah Land, sweet Beulah Land,
As on my highest mount I stand,
I look away across the sea,
Where mansions are prepared for me,
And view the shining glory shore,
My heaven, my home forevermore.
Great singing, everybody.
Okay, now let's open up service with a word of prayer.
Lord, we love you, and we thank you so much for this church.
Once again, thank you for the ability to gather here to you.
We just ask that you help us lift up our voice,
help us sing unto you loud, and just bless this church,
and in Jesus' name we pray, amen.
All right, for our next song, let's go to song number 12.
One that may be a little bit more familiar.
Song number 12, Blessed Redeemer.
All right, sing it out again.
Up Calvary's mountain, what dreadful morn,
O Christ my Savior, weary and morn,
Facing for sinners, death on the cross,
That we might save Him from endless loss.
Blessed Redeemer, Precious Redeemer,
Seems how our seed built on Calvary's tree,
Wounded and bleeding, for sinners pleading,
Blind and unheeding, dying for me.
Father, forgive him, thus did he pray,
In while his blind blood flow fast away,
Praying for sinners, while in such woe,
No one but Jesus never loved so.
Blessed Redeemer, Precious Redeemer,
Seems how our seed built on Calvary's tree,
Wounded and bleeding, for sinners pleading,
Blind and unheeding, dying for me.
O how I love Him, Savior and Friend,
Harken, my praises, ever finding,
Through years unnumbered, on heaven's shore,
My tongue shall praise Him forevermore.
Blessed Redeemer, Precious Redeemer,
Seems how our seed built on Calvary's tree,
Wounded and bleeding, for sinners pleading,
Blind and unheeding, dying for me.
Good evening, thank you for coming to Steadfast Baptist Church.
If you did not get a bulletin, and you would still like one,
you can lift up your hand real quick,
and our usher can come by and get you a bulletin.
On the front, we have our Bible memory passage,
Jonah chapter 2, and then on the inside,
we have our service times, our soul-winning times.
If you have some soul-winning reporting
that you need to put, you can put it in our soul-winning chat group.
If you don't have access to that, please just ask,
and we'd love to add you to that.
On the right, we have our list of expecting ladies.
Please be in prayer for them. We have a prayer list.
If you'd like to add additional prayer requests,
please email us. We'd love to put it in there
and be praying for you guys.
Upcoming events, November 9th is a soul-winning seminar.
It's going to be 8 a.m. to have coffee and donuts,
and then it starts around 830.
Some of our soul-winning captains are offering an opportunity
to just get some soul-winning tips,
and if you want to just practice with some people
and just get a little more comfortable,
it's just a great opportunity to sharpen your soul-winning skills.
November 16th is the Miami Soul-winning marathon.
There's a sign-up sheet out here in the foyer,
and it has the details as far as where we're meeting and locating.
I put a video out there as well with those same details.
You can share it or find it on our Rumble channel,
but if also you'd like to sign up, you can do so.
We have November 24th is the ordination service
for Brother Dylan Oz, and we're really excited.
I think a lot of people are going to be traveling up there with us,
but even if you can't make it, please just pray
that the service and the new church, Anchor Baptist Church,
that everything would go well.
December 6th is a ladies' Christmas party,
and if you want to put that on the calendar,
it's a lot of fun. It's a meal,
so all the ladies are going to be invited for that.
December 9th is our Christmas caroling,
so we'll meet here and go out caroling.
If you've never been caroling with us,
honestly, it's a lot cooler than it seems.
It's a lot of fun. People have really enjoyed it,
and we actually do the opposite of soul-winning.
We actually go to the nice neighborhoods
for the Christmas caroling, and so it's a lot of fun,
and we've always really enjoyed it,
and so if you'd like to participate with us,
we'll probably meet in some of the nicer areas
and go Christmas caroling.
December 25th is a Christmas cookie bake-off,
and we'll have that on the 25th.
I think that's the one time our church votes every year,
and so we let even the kids vote on their favorite cookies
and the best designs and stuff, and so it's a lot of fun.
If you're here for Christmas,
we'd love to have you for that.
January 1st, we have done in the past
a couple times a New Year's Eve party,
but I think because of it being
right next to our Wednesday service,
we're just going to only do the Wednesday service this year,
but we will still have a men's preaching
along with a pizza fellowship,
and so we'd love for you to join us
on the 1st for that event as well.
That's pretty much all I have
as far as announcements in the bulletin.
We did have the special handout as well
about our missionary, Evangelist Urbanic,
who is in the Philippines, and they're doing a great work,
and if you'd like to read about his ministry
and what he's been doing, you can read about that.
We do support them and their family 100%,
so that's just something for you to think about.
Hey, you support our church.
You're supporting this missionary,
and you're supporting his works,
and I believe that the Lord is blessing that.
So that's pretty much all I have as far as announcements.
We'll go ahead and sing our third song,
which is our Psalm of the Week, Psalm 148.
Sing it out nice and loud.
It's in our special handouts, Psalm 148.
All right.
That was Psalm 148, Psalm chapter 148.
Everybody sing it out together.
Praise ye the Lord, praise ye the Lord from the heavens.
Praise him in the heights, praise ye him.
All his angels, praise ye him.
All his hosts, praise ye him.
Sun and moon, praise him, all ye stars of light.
Praise him, ye heavens of heavens.
Any waters that be above the heavens,
let them praise the name of the Lord.
For he commanded and they were created.
He hath also established them forever and ever.
He hath made a degree which shall not press.
Praise the Lord from the earth, ye dragons and of each fire.
And hail snow and vapor, stormy wind,
fulfilling his work mountains.
In all his fruitful trees, and all cedars' trees,
and all cattle creeping, new and flying fowl,
kings of the earth and all people,
princes and all judges of the earth,
both young men and ladies, women and children,
let them praise the name of the Lord.
For his name alone is excellent,
his glory is above the earth,
and in heaven he also exalted the Lord.
Love his people, the praise of all his saints,
even of the children of Israel,
the people near unto him.
Praise be the Lord.
Great singing, everybody.
Now as the offering plates are being passed around,
go ahead and turn in your Bibles to Proverbs chapter 6.
That's the book of Proverbs chapter number 6.
Proverbs chapter 6, the Bible says,
My son, if thou be surety for thy stranger,
if thou hast stricken thy hand with a stranger,
thou art snared with the words of thy mouth,
thou art taken with the words of thy mouth,
do this now, my son, and deliver thyself.
When thou art come in to the hand of thy friend,
go, humble thyself, and make sure thy friend.
Give not sleep to thine eyes, nor slumber to thine eyelids.
Deliver thyself as a roe from the hand of the hunter,
and as a bird from the hand of the fowler.
Go to the ant thou sluggard, consider her ways and be wise,
which having no guide, overseer, or ruler,
provideth her meat in the summer,
and gathereth her food in the harvest.
How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard?
When wilt thou arise out of thy sleep?
Yet a little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to sleep,
so shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth,
and thy want as an armed man.
A naughty person, a wicked man, walketh with a froward mouth.
He winketh with his eyes, he speaketh with his feet,
he teacheth with his fingers.
Frowardness is in his heart, he deviseth mischief continually,
he soweth discord.
Therefore shall his calamity come suddenly,
suddenly shall he be broken without remedy.
These six things doth the Lord hate,
yea, seven are an abomination unto him,
a proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
an heart that deviseth wicked imaginations,
feet that be swift in running to mischief,
a false witness that speaketh lies,
and he that soweth discord among brethren.
My son, keep thy father's commandment,
and foresight thou to speak,
my son, keep thy father's commandment,
and forsake not the law of thy mother.
Bind them continually upon thine heart,
and tie them about thy neck.
When thou goest, it shall lead thee,
when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee,
and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee,
for the commandment is a lamp, and the law is light,
and reproofs of instruction are the way of life,
to keep thee from the evil woman,
from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.
Lest not after her beauty in thine heart,
neither let her take thee with her eyelids,
for by means of a whorish woman,
a man is brought to a piece of bread,
and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.
Can a man take fire in his bosom,
and his clothes not be burned?
Can one go upon hot coals, and his feet not be burned?
So he that goeth into his neighbor's wife,
whosoever toucheth her, shall not be innocent.
Men do not despise a thief if he steal,
to satisfy his soul when he is hungry.
But if he be found, he shall restore sevenfold.
He shall give all the substance of his house.
But whoso committeth adultery with the woman,
lacketh understanding.
He that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.
A wound and dishonor shall he get,
and his reproach shall not be wiped away.
For jealousy is the rage of a man,
therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.
He will not regard any ransom,
neither will he rest content,
though thou givest many gifts.
Let us pray.
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you for this day.
I thank you for salvation.
I ask you to bless Pastor Shelley as he preaches your word.
Please help us to be attentive to it.
Please remove distractions.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
Amen.
I want to look back at verse 26 again.
The Bible says this.
It says,
For by means of a whorish woman,
a man is brought to a piece of bread,
and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.
And the Bible warns that there is a woman
that will hunt to destroy people,
and will destroy people's lives,
and is a dangerous person.
Now, I want to preach a sermon,
and I want to kind of talk about a carnal application,
and then kind of expand this.
And hopefully this is something that
most of us never have to experience,
or have to ever go through,
but it is something that does happen,
and it's a psycho ex-girlfriend.
Okay?
And so that's the title of my sermon this evening,
is Psycho Ex-Girlfriends.
Okay?
Now, here's the thing.
This doesn't just apply on one side of the aisle.
You can have a psycho ex.
That's a guy.
Flip verse, you know, both ways.
And I want to talk about this, you know,
because also I think that there's an application
we can take and learn from this particular lesson.
But there are people out there
that are just extremely dangerous
that get attached to you,
and then they won't leave you alone.
And that's kind of the principle of the idea
of what we think of as like a, quote, psycho ex-girlfriend.
And really, when we think about this woman in here,
this adulterous woman,
she's going around hunting for some prey,
someone that she can take advantage of
and destroy their life, an innocent person.
And in many cases, I think that this type of a person
is kind of similar, where they're dangerous.
And I want to look at a lot of principles in the Bible
of how you would deal with a person like this,
because you never know.
You could date somebody
and not really think anything negative,
and then the relationship ends horribly,
and then you just have this person harassing you,
attacking you, doing all kinds of crazy stuff.
And it's like, what do you do in that situation?
Well, I want to keep looking at a lot of different verses here.
Go to chapter 7 and look at verse number 5.
And I have a lot of stuff
that I want to talk about this evening,
but I'm really looking at a lot of principles
in the Bible on this subject.
It says in Proverbs 7, verse 5,
that they may keep thee,
talking about the commandments and the word of God,
from the strange woman,
from the stranger which flattereth with her words.
You need to be aware of dating people
or getting involved in relationships
where the person's a flatterer,
because the Bible is saying
that this person is a dangerous person.
So there are people out there that are flatterers.
There are people out there
that are adulterous in their heart,
and they're seeking to hurt you,
seeking to destroy you,
and you don't want to get entangled with those people,
because many times after getting entangled with them,
well, they're going to harass you
well beyond even the relationship
that you initially had with them.
They won't leave you alone.
Go to Ecclesiastes.
Just flip to the right
and look at Ecclesiastes chapter 7.
Well, notice that the Bible warns
about these kind of type people.
Ecclesiastes chapter number 7,
look at verse 26.
The Bible says this.
It says,
I find more bitter than death the woman
whose heart is snares and nets
and her hands as bands,
who, pleased with God, shall escape from her,
but the sinner shall be taken by her.
So again, the Bible paints this picture
of there's certain women.
This is not saying all women, okay?
Don't quote me on this.
This is saying, like,
oh, Pastor Shelley hates all women or something.
This is a certain kind of woman
that is out there that is a snare,
is a net,
and is going to hurt and destroy people.
She's the adulterous woman.
She's the strange woman.
She's the flattering type woman.
And she is bad news.
And again, we're focusing in on women.
This applies also to men.
You can get in relationships with men
that are also just terrible bad men
will destroy you.
Someone like Andrew Tate or Tristan Tate.
Those guys are very destructive forces.
You would never want to be in a relationship with them.
Go back to Proverbs chapter 14.
I'm just going to show you
a lot of principles real quick,
and then we're going to kind of
get into some meat of the sermon.
But notice the Bible's warning.
There are dangerous people.
There's this adulterous woman.
There's this strange woman which flatters.
There's this woman whose heart is snares and nets.
And the Bible says that we should avoid
this type of a person.
The Bible says in Proverbs chapter 14,
look at verse 7.
Go from the presence of a foolish man
when thou perceivest not in him
the lips of knowledge.
Here's another general instruction the Bible says
is that we should avoid certain people.
When you realize someone's foolish,
when you realize they're stupid
or just making bad decisions,
we should try to avoid that type of a person.
So the Bible's telling us,
avoid the flatterer,
avoid the adulterous,
avoid the foolish person.
So we're getting like all of these
and we're going to kind of combine them
into general wisdom and instruction.
Now go to the New Testament for a moment.
Go to 2 Timothy chapter number 2.
I just wanted to quickly lay down
some biblical principles,
and I am going to share
a couple articles online as well
of just some wisdom of the world.
But I think a lot of the wisdom of the world
follows these principles that I'm showing you
here in the Bible.
So I want to clearly show you
some principles in the Bible
and then we're going to talk about
some other things that even just the world
just gives you as general advice in these areas.
But the Bible says in 2 Timothy chapter 2 verse 23,
it says,
But foolish and unlearned questions
avoid knowing that they do gender strifes.
So here's the thing,
sometimes people try to talk to you
and bring up questions
and try to talk to you about subjects
and they're talking about subjects
that really are not very sincere,
they're not good questions,
and it just causes more problems,
more of an issue,
and we should avoid these type of situations,
avoid these questions,
avoid these inquiries of discussion,
because it just makes things worse.
And then I want to go to one more.
Go to Titus chapter 3.
And so I'm just kind of combining these things.
What have we read in the Bible so far?
We read in the Bible that the
adulterous woman will hunt for the precious life.
We've learned that with a strange woman
who flatters with you,
you should avoid her.
You should avoid the woman
whose hearts are snares and nets.
You should avoid the foolish
and unlearned questions.
You should avoid the person
who has foolish lips.
So we're kind of getting a lot of these
just general principles.
The Bible says in Titus chapter 3 verse 10,
a man that is an heretic
after the first and second admonition reject.
So again, the Bible is telling you
when you have dangerous people,
when you have flatterers,
when you have foolish questions,
when you have heretics,
like the general wisdom is stay away from this person.
This is a dangerous person.
You want to stay away from them,
not be in their presence.
The Bible, I didn't show you this verse,
but in Proverbs 26 verse 4,
it also tells you to answer not a fool
according to his folly,
lest they also be like unto him.
So the Bible is saying that we should
not answer fools according to their folly.
Okay?
Don't want to go down a foolish road
with foolish people.
We want to stay away from them.
Now go over to Judges chapter 16.
Let's get into a story here in the Bible
that kind of talks about this particular subject.
Now again, title of the sermon,
Psycho Ex-Girlfriends.
Okay?
Number one, you don't ever want to be this person.
Number two, if you end up having
this type of person in your life,
you have to be very careful with them
because they're a very dangerous person.
Now Samson in the Bible
is constantly being with different women
that are very dangerous women,
women that he shouldn't have been with
based on the principles that we already learned,
based on the scriptures that we've already seen.
He should be avoiding harlots and flatterers
and these bad people.
He should be avoiding the woman
whose heart is snares and nets,
but Samson does not do that.
So what happens when you get entangled
with this kind of a woman?
Well, Judges chapter 16, look at verse 4.
And it came to pass afterwards,
let's talk about Samson,
that he loved a woman in the valley of Sorek
whose name was Delilah.
And the Lord of the Philistines came up unto her
and said unto her, Entice him,
and see wherein his great strength lieth.
And by what means we may prevail against him,
that we may bind him to afflict him,
and we will give thee, every one of us,
eleven hundred pieces of silver.
It says, And Delilah said to Samson,
Tell me, I pray thee, wherein thy great strength lieth,
and wherewith thou mightest be bound to afflict thee.
So it didn't give a response,
but it's clear from the story
that Delilah likes this offer
and has accepted essentially this particular offer.
So we have to think about the story.
Samson and Delilah, they're having a relationship,
but she's been offered eleven hundred pieces of silver.
This is a lot of money.
She's offered a great fortune to destroy Samson.
And by her going down this path,
we can understand a few things.
She's done with the relationship.
She's already decided this relationship's over with her.
She's done with the relationship.
But instead of just leaving,
instead of just being done with Samson,
she's going to figure out how to cash in on Samson
and take advantage of him,
even though in her heart she's a goner.
And here's the thing, a lot of exes,
sometimes they're already done with the relationship.
They already know that the relationship's over for them,
but they're not going to let you know initially
because they still want to take advantage of you
or use you in some way.
And again, this works on both sides of the equation.
There are plenty of men who will not marry their girlfriend,
but they keep leading her on
because they're still reaping benefits from that relationship
that they don't want to stop,
and so they're not being honest with their partner.
And so the same is with Delilah,
that she is taking advantage of Samson here
and going to destroy him.
She's willing to literally destroy him,
sell him to be killed physically for money.
That is a psychopath.
I mean, can you imagine someone you genuinely loved
and you cared about
that you'd be willing to literally sell out for money?
But that is this type of woman,
and this is a scary type of relationship to be in
where this woman is willing to actually destroy you.
Look what it says in verse 10.
And Delilah said unto Samson,
Behold, thou hast mocked me and told me lies.
Now tell me, I pray thee, wherewith thou mightest be bound.
Here's the thing.
Delilah is trying to get Samson's secret
to destroy him for money,
and Samson lies to her.
Now, which of these do you think was the worst sin?
Like, which of these do you think is really the person
that's actually the bad person in this story?
Like, it's pretty obvious Delilah is extremely evil.
But then notice how she pretty much just deceives Samson
and tricks him into thinking like,
No, you're mocking me and you're lying to me.
You know who's the real liar here?
It's Delilah because she's trying to take advantage of him
and deceive him and trick him.
And she's projecting her evil, her sin,
upon Samson in many ways.
And so she just is wearing him down, lying to him,
tricking him, saying, Oh, you're mocking me.
Oh, you're lying to me.
We see it again in verse number 13.
And Delilah said unto Samson, Hitherto thou hast mocked me
and told me lies.
Tell me wherewith thou mightest be bound.
And he said unto her, And he gives her another.
So, like, in the story, Samson keeps, like, saying,
just making something up, not really giving her a secret,
and she ends up calling people in to destroy him,
which you would think, like,
why would you then tell her the next time?
Like, wouldn't you have put two and two together?
But it's like, this is what happens
when you actually love someone.
Did you read what it said in verse four?
Read it again.
And it came to pass afterward that he loved a woman
in the valley of Sorek.
When you love someone, you sometimes don't see the fact
that they're hurting you.
When you love someone, you don't realize
that they're actually going to take advantage of you.
Sometimes you overlook their faults.
Sometimes you make excuses for their behavior,
even though they're actually a destructive force.
They're actually trying to destroy you actively
and harm you.
Now, again, don't take any of the advice that I'm saying
from a marriage perspective,
because we're not talking about marriage.
We're talking about dating relationships, okay?
We're talking about this psycho
who's trying to take this information
and destroy her boyfriend,
destroy her male companion here,
with lies for money specifically.
But we notice a pattern here
that she's constantly revealing,
she's wanting to reveal his secrets to harm him.
And this is what you have to worry about.
Psycho ex-girlfriends and psycho exes
will try to use your personal information
against you to hurt you.
That's why you have to be very careful
with these type of people.
That's why you should also just not be in fornication.
You should get married.
And you get married to someone that you actually love,
and you're actually going to fight each other.
I mean, according to the Constitution,
the Bill of Rights,
you're not even allowed, or you at least have a right
to not testify against your spouse legally,
because it's just so wrong, and it's so weird
for someone to literally want to testify
against their own spouse.
I mean, you're one flesh,
but for this dating relationship,
oh, she has no problem revealing his secrets
and taking advantage of him and hurting and harming him.
And you know what?
That is a psychopath, one that doesn't feel empathy,
one that doesn't actually feel bad
about hurting and harming other people,
but really just has a love of money.
Verse 16,
It came to pass when she pressed him daily
with her words and urged him,
so that his soul was vexed unto death,
that he told her all his heart.
So here's another thing that psychos will do
and exes will do sometimes,
is they just pester you over and over and over and over again
just to get you to relent eventually,
just like, hey, tell me what's going on,
do this, talk to me, do this, whatever,
and you just get worn down.
Did you notice what it said?
It came to pass when she pressed him daily
with her words and urged him,
so that his soul was vexed unto death.
Wow, that's some nagging.
I mean, she is an expert at nagging this guy
and afflicting this guy.
Now, here's the thing.
Samson made a lot of mistakes in this story.
What are some of the mistakes he made?
Well, number one, he was around the adulterous woman
that's hunting for the precious life.
Number two, he's hanging out with the strange woman
that flatters with her words.
Number three, he's with that woman
whose heart is snares and nets.
Pretty much check every verse.
Check, check, check.
Go from the presence of a foolish man
when thou perceiveest not in him the lips of knowledge.
Oh, check for her on that one.
She's probably even an heretic
because she's not of the children of Israel.
And what does the Bible say?
A man that is an heretic
after the first and second admonition, reject.
Okay, he's basically like taking
every one of the instructions that I gave you
and not following it.
The Bible says, answer not a fool according to his folly.
He should have been like, I'm never gonna tell you.
He didn't have to lie to her.
He could have just said, sorry, we're not married.
I'm not gonna tell you this.
Hit the road if you want.
But of course, he's just answering her questions,
going along with this, allowing himself to be vexed,
allowing himself to be taken advantage of
and going down a bad route.
And we have to be careful because people like Delilah,
they have no conscience.
They will lie.
They will project her deceit upon him
and they are a destructive, selfish force.
And there are people that are like this in our lives
that we have to sometimes avoid
and try to prevent from them destroying us.
Now go over to 2 Thessalonians, chapter number three.
Go to 2 Thessalonians, chapter number three.
I'm showing you a pretty clear example of a woman
that she's already kind of decided in her heart
the relationship's over, but then she's taking advantage
of the situation and trying to destroy him further.
And this is what happens sometimes in a relationship
when it's over, doesn't matter who wants it to be over,
how it's over.
That person, instead of just moving on
and leaving them alone, they try to destroy the other person
and they try to hurt and harm the other person.
And that's really where I'm kind of coming from
from this perspective is like,
you need to be careful with relationships.
Here's another thing that's important.
Maybe you should take dating lightly
so that you don't end up getting so involved with someone
that they have this tendency to go down
this psycho ex-girlfriend route
and try to destroy you later, okay?
And I'm not going to ask for a raise of hands,
but I'm sure there's some people in here
that maybe you did date someone
or you did have a relationship in the past
and it didn't end well and they did crazy things.
In fact, I was looking up some stuff online
about stories, okay?
Some crazy ex-girlfriend stories.
So these are things that people did
after they broke off the relationship.
This is someone that said this.
She got her mail delivered to my house
when she found out that I was going to break up with her,
then wouldn't leave when I did break up with her.
I called the police and since she received mail at my house,
they said it was officially her residence as well.
I had to call my landlord and I had to evict me
just to get her to leave.
Once she left, he rescinded the eviction notice
and I moved back then.
So he's saying like, this chick is like sending mail
to his house just to be stuck with his house
and he can't legally evict her or something like that.
So he had to evict himself.
Here's another story.
She made a key to my house, stole my dog after we broke up,
then she called me and told me that she found my dog
running loose in my neighborhood
and then came to return it.
So she's going and sneaking and stealing his dog
to pretend like it got loose
so that she can go have an excuse to go and return it,
but then it says that the neighbor had it all on video.
So they ended up catching what she had done.
Here's another one.
They, quote, helped me pack
knowing that I was putting things into storage
and they put raw chicken into rubber-made appliances
that they knew I wouldn't open for months.
Oh, man, that's rough.
That's funny because when I was,
when me and my wife were young,
she actually taught in public school
and in the summer, there's nothing to do in her classroom
and she had this mini fridge
and she brought this mini fridge
and we just put it in the fridge, in the garage.
So this was the mini fridge in the garage
for like three months
and now it's time for her to go back to school
and I go and I open up that mini fridge
and there was just this ball, this green ball
of mold and all this weird stuff
and I was like, what?
And then I like touched it
and it just like opened like a gusher
and just like burst open.
She had left a mandarin orange in there
or something on accident
and it is just like completely raw.
It was gross, okay?
I'm just gonna say it.
It was weird.
Now that wasn't on purpose.
That was just an accident
but it was just kind of weird.
Here's another one.
I was in the military at the time
and my ex called the base
and told them I was passing her secrets.
Then she called my mom and told her I died.
Then it says the army,
she told the mom that the army wouldn't tell her
that they were keeping it a secret from her.
Then she called his landlord,
told him that he also died
and that they should release his apartment
and then it says this,
that ended up me being taken captive by the military.
So they found him and arrested him.
He said he didn't even know what was going on.
He said it took two weeks for the military
to end up believing him and releasing him.
He said by then the landlord had actually started
boxing up all his stuff to sell off.
Weird.
Here's another one.
Two weeks after I dumped her,
she showed up at my parents' house
to introduce them to her new boyfriend
since they were her quote second family.
He said they had only dated for six months in high school
and she had met his parents twice before this.
They lived over two hours away.
My mom said the guy was confused
and seemed like she had told him
she was introducing him to her family.
So she took the guy that she had just started dating
on a two-hour trip to introduce him
to people she barely knew
without warning any of them that she was showing up.
Then she complained to his sister the next day
that I hadn't called her about it.
What in the world?
Here's another one.
This one says,
I recently logged back onto Instagram
for the first time in a while
and the dude started a religion about himself.
And I was thinking like,
was this Tyler Doka's wife?
But you know, I'm just saying like,
there are some psychos out there.
And look, there was a lot of stories I can't even repeat
or I wouldn't even share,
but I'm just saying like,
there are some weird people
that will do weird things
and you can't stop them.
You can't, I mean,
what are you going to do about this person, right?
And that's kind of what I want to talk about
is what do you do if you actually had
a relationship with someone
or you had a person in your life
that's acting like this,
how do you deal with this type of a person?
Well, 2 Thessalonians chapter number three,
I'm sorry, chapter three, verse two says this.
Let's read verse one.
I guess it starts in the middle of a sentence here.
It says,
so finally brethren pray for us
that the word of the Lord may have recourse
and be glorified even as it is with you
and that we may be delivered
from unreasonable and wicked men
for all men have not faith.
The Bible says there are some people
that are unreasonable.
And that's something you have to identify.
There are some people in this world
that are unreasonable.
So it's not like you can explain to them,
hey, what you're doing is weird.
Hey, back off.
Hey, leave me alone.
Hey, go somewhere else.
Like you can't even explain that to that person
because they are unreasonable.
And consistently in the Bible,
you see the preachers of the word of God,
the apostles, Jesus Christ himself,
having all these people following them around
and attaching them to themselves
and basically acting like a psycho ex-girlfriend.
And while they don't actually have that psycho ex-girlfriend,
they're acting like that type of person would be.
And the question is, like,
what do you do about this type of a person?
Well, go to Proverbs 25.
Go back to Proverbs.
I want to look at a couple more.
I looked up online.
I was just kind of curious,
like, what does the world say?
What would be the world's advice
if I said, hey, what do I do about this person?
And I found a WikiHow.
So, like, they have these WikipediaHow articles
that says, like, what to do with an obsessive ex-girlfriend.
It says, number one,
be kind of blunt when you break it off.
And they said, subpoint, make it really clear
that you don't want to date her anymore.
And I'm like, that seems pretty reasonable.
That seems like it's pretty consistent
with what the Bible is saying.
Like, don't beat around the bush.
Just say, like, it's over, okay?
Number two, stop all communication with your ex.
Don't respond to their texts, phone calls, or emails.
Now, isn't that based on the principles
that we've seen seem about pretty reasonable?
It's like, hey, avoid this person.
Go from the presence of this person.
Stop talking with this person.
Reject this person.
Third, change your social media settings.
Block her and don't interact with her on social media.
It says, for instance, if you like one of her photos
or respond to a tweet,
she might think that you're still interested in her.
So it's better not to engage.
They're saying, when these people that are psychos
get any attention from you,
they think it's because you still like them
and want to interact with them.
So they can't handle it.
So what the Bible is saying is avoid these people.
What the world is saying, avoid these people.
Because they're just dangerous.
The world, again, says this.
Make adjustments to your routine.
This is their fourth point.
Avoid places where you could meet them up.
Five, be consistent in your boundaries.
So don't make exceptions for communicating with them.
It's like basically doubling up.
Like, stay away from this person.
Don't talk to them.
Number six advice, lean on your support system.
And that's just the people that actually do like you.
It says let them know what's happening so they can help you.
Here's another one.
Don't bad mouth your ex.
But be honest about the things that are bothering you.
It says also if you think your ex is getting information
about you from a mutual friend,
then don't share anything private with that person.
So it's like don't be very careful
because when these people are the way they are,
they will use any and all information against you.
They will leak any information.
They will try to attack you and hurt you and harm you
because they're acting psychotic.
And so it's like, you know, try to avoid this person.
Don't give them information they can use to hurt you.
It just doesn't make any sense.
And plus it's saying don't bad mouth them.
You know, what does the ex do?
They bad mouth you.
They're constantly harassing you, attacking you, whatever.
But we don't want to play their game.
We want to just avoid them.
That's what the world's saying.
And again, the Bible's clear.
We shouldn't be gossip.
We shouldn't be a tale bearer.
I mean, there's so many verses on these type of subjects
that we should realize a lot of this advice
is coming from the Bible even.
This is what it says, number seven, according to the world.
Tell your mutual friends what's happening between you two.
Your friends can prevent acts of run-ins.
Number eight, let her know when she crosses the line.
So be clear and direct.
Number nine, take screenshots of harassing texts or posts.
And it says specifically just so that you can use that
for law enforcement if they're threatening you.
And they say this is what many exes will do
is they make fake profiles to constantly communicate with you
after you block them so that they can keep harassing you.
So it's like that's an attribute of a psycho ex-girlfriend
is they keep making fake profiles
to try and continually harass you and attack you
and say all these things against you.
Number 10 is take care of your own mental health,
you know, talking to a counselor or a friend.
Number 11, advise your ex to get counseling.
And then number 12, get a restraining order.
And this is basically saying like there are some people
that will not stop harassing you.
They will not get over you.
They will not leave you alone.
And it's saying you have to do something.
Be clear to them, avoid them, block them, don't talk to them,
try to keep as much distance as possible.
That's the world's advice.
And you know, frankly speaking,
it seems like it's fitting all the verses
that I'm showing you in the Bible on this subject too.
What should have Samson done to Delilah?
Blocked her from his life.
Been like, why are you asking me these questions?
Why are you going down this path?
Instead of giving her private information
that could be used against him,
and then she, what, destroys him
because he was vexed, sore with her constant urging,
constant provoking, constant social...
I mean, she's just creating a new private message profile,
like a new message, a new profile,
just harass him every day.
What's your secret? What's your secret?
It's like literal torture.
I mean, many people, when they're actually tortured,
they will confess a crime that they haven't ever committed
just to get the pain to stop.
And it's like, in this, it's just like,
he's just being harassed by her so often,
vexed to the point where he was willing to die,
that he's just like, fine,
I'll just tell you exactly what's going on.
And then she uses that to destroy him.
Now, I heard you turn to Proverbs 25.
Look what the Bible says in verse number 24.
It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop
than with a brawling woman in a white house.
Look, these people are harassing you.
What is the basic of the Bible saying?
It's like, better to be away from this person
than to be around someone that's contentious,
someone that's brawling.
Chapter 26, verse 22, the Bible says this.
The words of a tailbearer are as wounds
that go down in the enemous parts of the belly.
Burning lips and a wicked heart are like a potsherd
covered with silver dross.
He that hateth, dissembleth with his lips,
and layeth up deceit within him.
When he speaketh fair, believe him not,
for there are seven abominations in his heart.
The word dissembleth means to conceal or disguise
using deceit to basically hide hatred.
So this person's hiding their hatred with what?
With fair words, with flattery.
So they hate you, but they say things
that they don't mean, that aren't sincere,
to try and trick you and to trap you
and to hurt you and to harm you.
So it's saying you need to be careful with tailbearers.
You need to be careful with flatterers.
When you are around someone and they're constantly
just sharing gossip about other people,
just know this is a dangerous person.
When you're around someone and they're constantly
talking trash on other people, that's a dangerous person.
When you're around someone and you catch them
being insincere and it's like,
how do you know they're insincere?
Because they come to you and they say,
man, I can't stand this person.
And then that person comes in the room and they're like,
oh, I love your dress, it's so pretty.
It's like, no, that's a bad person.
Because you know that they don't really mean it,
that they're not a sincere person.
And when you notice this person's not a sincere person,
know they're dangerous to you, too.
Not just dangerous to that type of a person.
The person that flatters others will flatter you.
The person that tailbears against others
will tailbear against you.
And we have to be careful with this type of a person
and realize, hey, we don't want to be around
the brawling women, the flattering women,
the tailbearing women.
The tailbearing women, and again,
this is both sides of the equation,
even men that are like this as well.
But you want to be careful with this person.
It says in verse 25, when he speaketh fair,
believe him not.
So just because someone says something nice or sounds good,
the Bible's saying don't believe this person.
Don't trust this person.
Why?
Verse 26, whose hatred is covered by deceit,
his wickedness shall be showed before the whole congregation.
So eventually it'll come out.
Eventually this person will make it clear
that they hated you, they don't really like you,
they were lying the whole time.
It even says specifically in verse 28,
a lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it,
and a flattering mouth worketh ruin.
So we have to be aware of these type of people.
Chapter 27, verse 4, go back up a little bit.
I'm sorry, down a little bit.
Wrath is cruel and anger is outrageous,
but who is able to stand before envy?
So again, I'm just thinking about a lot of verses
that kind of give us some general wisdom here.
But you have to realize that many times exes,
they lash out and they're so mad
because they're envious of your new relationship.
So hey, you move on from them or you start dating someone else
or you're interested in someone else
or just the fact they don't even have you,
it causes them to have all this envy
and then they get this hatred
and then they can't leave you alone
and they have to constantly stalk you
and harass you and pester you
and try to use private information to destroy you
because they are, frankly speaking, envious.
And some people can't really even be fixed.
Look what it says in verse 22.
Though thou shouldst bray a fool in his mortar
among wheat with a pestle,
yet will not his foolishness depart from it.
I would love to say, here's the solution to crazy exes
is let's talk them off the ledge.
Let's be reasonable with them.
Let's explain to them why they're weird.
Let's explain to them why they're creepy.
Let's explain to them why they're doing unreasonable things.
But you can't do that.
There are some people that are foolish,
there are some people that are heretics,
there are some people that are bad
and you just have to avoid them.
There are just some people in this world
that are unreasonable, you have to just stay away from,
you can't talk to, you can't engage with,
they can't be reasoned with, they can't be placated,
they can't be talked down, they're just a psycho.
And you just have to say, like, stay away from me.
You are a psychopath, okay?
Now, I've given you a lot of these general wisdoms,
I want to show you other people in the Bible,
and this is some men in the Bible doing this.
Go to 2 Samuel 14 now, go to 2 Samuel 14.
What do psycho exes do?
Well, I found an article, I'm reading a lot of articles today
because I just want to get some of the wisdom of the world
plus what the Bible says,
but sometimes the world will tell you things that are biblical
and sometimes the world will just help you understand
the psychology of what these people are like.
But there was an article written by this girl
who's basically explaining that she is a psycho ex-girlfriend, okay?
And then she's explaining to you why she does this
and what her mentality is, okay?
She says, these former love interests of our boyfriends
have turned us into obsessive compulsive internet stalkers
hell-bent on digging up as much dirt as we can via Twitter or Google.
So she says when she breaks up with some guy,
she becomes this obsessive compulsive person
that stalks them online incessantly finding out anything they can about them.
That's why you should be careful about what you put online, all right?
This is what she said about herself.
This is some person just confessing like her fault, I guess, to us.
So we're getting the psychology of what this person thinks.
She says, I hate ex-girlfriends.
So she's saying when she starts dating someone,
she ends up looking up all of the exes from this previous person, okay?
So she starts dating someone.
She immediately finds out who have they dated before.
And she says this, I hate every ex-girlfriend.
She says all of them.
I mean seriously, detest, abhor, despise,
want to stuff a plastic bag over their head while they're sleeping, hate them.
And she says the simple reason is jealousy.
Now then she explains it and she says, number two,
the reason why is because the ex-girlfriends make her doubt herself
because she says if she's pretty, she obsesses to no end why they broke up
and wonders why she's not, why if she's pretty enough for him.
So she's basically saying she looks up this previous guy's relationships
and she thinks she's prettier than her, then she's obsessed
and she's like, oh man, what happened, why is this, like what's going on?
Then she says this, on the other hand, if she's not pretty,
then I go crazy wondering if he only dates ugly girls and if I'm one of them.
So here's the thing, this person is just crazy no matter what.
And she's admitting it.
She's like it doesn't matter.
Whoever it is, I hate her.
And I hate her if she's pretty, I hate her if she's not pretty, like she's just.
And look, this is how some women are, that they're literally this psychotic, okay.
Then she just puts my imagination is my worst enemy.
I was like yes it is.
She explains this and she goes into detail and she's just basically saying
that she just imagines all these things about these people
and projects all these things on these people and that's who that is
and she comes up with all these crazy scenarios in her head
and I'm like this is unhealthy folks and there are people like this.
You don't want to get invested around a person like this.
I found another article.
It said ten signs that you're becoming a psycho ex-girlfriend.
So this is another thing to help people realize what these people are like.
Here's how you know if you're like this girl or you're a psycho ex.
You think about them all the time.
Number two, you still have them on Facebook and Twitter.
Number three, you stalk them regularly on social media.
It says stalking means you've given up your power
and you've invested in a failed relationship.
It's weird. Why do you invest in a failed relationship?
It makes no sense.
Number four, you ask his friends about them all the time.
Number five, you frequent places you might have seen them
just to run into them again.
Number six, you still have all the things that they gave you
and it says, quote, keeping a shrine to your ex by maintaining a box of his stuff
long after you've broken up is going to be weird at best and obsessive at worst.
And I think this is what we think of in the movies or what we think about in stories
is like the psycho ex is the one that has the shrine.
And it's like to me, if you have this, you are a psycho ex.
Where you have just some kind of a dedicated little section of your house or closet or whatever
and you've got their picture, you've got a cut of their hair,
you've got one of their old t-shirts or whatever.
And I was trying to think about this and I was like, you know, on the scale of crazy,
I was thinking like from a one to a ten perspective.
I would think like a person that's wearing their old clothes, like wearing an old t-shirt
is like a one and then like a ten would be like a literal voodoo doll
with their hair cut out that you're stabbing pins in, okay.
And then I was trying to place this idea of like where would you put someone
that made a board game of their ex.
And I was thinking like maybe like a six, okay.
You could have a different opinion than me but I'm thinking like what kind of a psycho path
would literally make a board game of their ex, okay.
I mean this is a mentally unstable person, okay.
Like that is so weird and I'm thinking like what, you don't even know what a voodoo doll is.
Like do you even know what witchcraft and these, they're like basically making an effigy of a person
that they hate, that they're obsessed with and they're trying to do things to it
to try and hurt and harm that person.
And they're so obsessed with that person that they're literally making icons and images of this person.
I mean this is a demonic dark force.
And I'm thinking like how close is that of making like board games and t-shirts and whatever.
I mean some exes will get tattoos with their person's name on it or whatever.
And I'm thinking this person is mentally unstable folks.
Here's other signs you're becoming a psycho ex girlfriend.
Number seven, you text and email them.
Number eight, you're devising plans to get back together.
Number nine, you want to sabotage his new relationships.
Number ten, your friends are sick of hearing about him.
Yes, you're a psycho.
He says you might be hung up on your ex but eventually your friends aren't going to want to hear about it anymore.
And it's like this is a serious thing that happens.
Now this happens to Christians.
I've been talking about this in a context of an actual psycho ex girlfriend or a psycho ex.
But this also happens to Christians in a weird spiritual way.
And we see this in the Bible.
And I want to show you a few examples of this that are kind of crazy.
But look at 2 Samuel chapter number 14 and look at verse number 28.
So Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem and saw not the king's face.
Therefore Absalom sent for Joab to have sent him to the king but he would not come to him.
And when he sent again the second time he would not come.
Therefore he said unto his servants, see Joab's field is near mine and he hath barley there.
Go and set it on fire.
And Absalom's servants set the field on fire.
Can you imagine? Someone won't answer your call and you burn their field down.
That is weird.
That is like a psycho.
But you know what? That is what Absalom is like.
Absalom is so obsessed and so driven to have this relationship with Joab and it's not because he even likes Joab.
He wants to use Joab to get to David to take over the kingdom.
But he's a literal psycho and he's like a psycho ex-friend.
Like he can't get over the relationship.
He can't stand that you won't talk to him.
And so you know what he's willing to do?
He's willing to really commit crimes.
He's willing to just hurt and harm and damage things just to get your attention.
Now here's the thing.
What should Joab have done?
He should have never answered that call.
He should have never talked to Absalom.
Absalom was, like when someone's burning your field to get your attention, that is not a reasonable person.
That is not, you want to say like, whoa, bad.
Now I've confirmed why I wasn't answering your call.
Now I know I shouldn't talk to you.
But instead what does he do?
He falls for the bait, falls for the trap, talks to him, gets invested.
And he allows Absalom to get close to David again to hurt and to harm him.
So I'm saying when someone burns your field, you should realize like, okay, this is a person I shouldn't talk to ever again.
This obviously crossed the line, crossed the boundary.
And even in the world's wisdom, they kept saying like over and over, still don't talk to them.
Still avoid them. Still stay away from them.
If someone doesn't get the hint, they're weird.
You know, if it's like someone's like, hey, let's go hang out.
Let's go hang out. And you're like, no.
I'm like, let's go hang out. No. Let's go hang out. No.
If they're not getting the hint, they're weird.
Because a normal person says like, hey, I've invited them like four times to hang out.
And they always say no.
I'm going to go show up at their house and steal their dog.
You know, it's like, no, no.
You say, okay, I'm going to leave them alone because I'm a normal person.
A not normal person then says, what can I stock on them next?
How can I find them on another media platform?
How can I message them even more?
How can I burn their field down?
It's like this person's a psycho.
Stay away from them.
Don't answer their call.
Go over to Nehemiah chapter number four.
Go to Nehemiah chapter four.
People will do things to you to hurt and harm you.
Ham, he gets his father drunk to take advantage of him.
What a psycho.
Lot's daughters get their father drunk to take advantage of him.
Habakkuk chapter number two says that evil people, wicked people,
will put a bottle to thy mouth, will put a bottle to thy throat,
and basically they're doing it to look upon your nakedness.
I mean, the Bible says that some people are trying to hurt and to harm you
and to damage you, and you read some of these stories about these psychos,
they will not let on what their intentions are,
and then they'll try to get you drunk, try to get you to commit sin,
try to get you to hurt and harm yourself so they can destroy you
because their goal is to destroy you.
And you have to say, you know what, I'm going to stay away from this person.
Now, in Nehemiah, we have the children of Israel trying to build back Jerusalem.
They're trying to build back the house of the Lord.
These people love God.
They're minding their own business.
They're just doing their own thing, but other people hate the work of God.
There are people that hate Christianity.
They hate churches being built, and all they want to do is destroy churches.
All they want to do is destroy the work of God,
and that is their life's mission.
This is Sanballat, Tobiah, and Gisham.
Look at Nehemiah chapter 4 verse 7.
But it came to pass that when Sanballat and Tobiah and the Arabians
and the Ammonites and the Ashtodites heard that the walls of Jerusalem were made up
and that the breaches began to be stopped,
then they were very wroth and conspired all of them together
to come and to fight against Jerusalem and to hinder it.
So notice it's like they just hear that people are being successful,
and they're just like, we have to destroy this.
We can't even allow these people to be successful whatsoever.
We have to destroy them, and this is what happens.
People break up, and then they hear, oh, they're actually doing really well.
Actually, they're in a new relationship.
Things are growing really great, and they're like, we have to destroy them now.
I have to go and harass them and attack them,
and basically I can't allow him to be happy or successful in a new relationship,
and so they will go after them,
and this is what psycho-exes do from my perspective.
So I was just thinking about this, like, what do these people do?
Number one, they hyper-focus on your faults.
They hyper-focus on your faults.
Number two is they want you to have no success ever.
Number three, they will trash you to every single person they can think of
to try and hurt you.
Number four, they will try to convince you that their life is so much better
after moving on.
And number five, they'll lie about the dates that they're going on
to try and provoke you to jealousy.
And number six, they'll make shrines.
Okay, we already looked at the shrines.
But number five is an important point.
They'll lie about dates.
Seriously, girls and guys, they'll lie.
They'll be like, oh, I'm going on these dates with all these people,
and they're trying to, like, convince you that they're, like, doing so much better
so you'll want to go, oh, really?
Well, I want to go back with them now or something.
And they'll also try to convince you, like, my life's never been better
since I left this person.
It's so great now.
They were so free.
They were so bad.
They were so narcissistic.
They were so evil.
They were so abusive.
There's all these accusations about the person
just to try to make you feel like, oh, wow, you convinced me.
You're so much better now.
But again, they're miserable inside.
They're miserable because they wouldn't stalk you
if their life was so much better.
They wouldn't follow you around and harass you,
and convince you that their life is so much better.
They're not going to show up with their new boyfriend at your parents' house.
What?
I mean, that's so weird.
I mean, these people are just crazy.
But you know what?
Sanballat, Tobiah, and Gisham, they're the same way.
They just hear about the success, and they can't stand it,
and they just have to destroy.
They have to attack.
So what does it say in chapter 6, verse 1?
Now it came to pass when Sabalat and Tobiah and Gisham, the Arabian
and the rest of our enemies, heard that I had built a wall
and that there was no breach left in,
though at that time I had not set up the doors upon the gates,
that Sanballat and Gisham sent unto me, saying,
Come, let us meet together in some one of the villages in the plain of Ono.
But they thought to do me mischief.
So now, they want to destroy them, but do they go up to them,
and they're like, Hey, guys, we want to destroy you.
Hey, let's get together.
Hey, let's hang out.
Hey, let's go have some fun.
But why?
So they can destroy them.
Verse 3, and I sent a message unto them, saying,
I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down.
Why should the work cease, while else I leave it and come down to you?
Now, Nehemiah is great, because he knows the verses
that we've been looking at and showing.
Avoid these people.
He did the step that we saw in the world's advice.
Be direct.
Hey, I'm working.
Not going to talk to you.
Not going to hang out with you.
No.
Verse 4, Yet they sent unto me four times after this sort,
and I answered them after the same manner.
Same.
No.
I mean, can you imagine how annoying this is?
You're trying to just go to church, read your Bible, pray, do this thing,
and this person's just like, Leave.
You're like, No.
Leave.
No.
Leave.
No.
Leave.
No.
It's like, You've got to block this person out of your life.
And why?
Verse 5, Then since then bowed his servant unto me,
and like manner the fifth time, with an open letter in his hand,
wherein it was written, It is reported among the heathen,
and Gashmu saith it.
Who cares what Gashmu has to say?
I don't know.
That thou and the Jews think to rebel,
for which cause thou buildest the wall,
that thou mayest be their king, according to these words.
And thou hast also appointed prophets to preach of thee at Jerusalem,
saying, There is a king in Judah,
and thou shalt be reported to the king, according to these words.
Come now, therefore, and let us take counsel together.
So it didn't work the fourth times.
So they say, All right, fine.
If you won't meet with us, we're going to get law enforcement involved.
I'm going to come after you.
We have all these false accusations that we're going to bring against you
to basically hurt and harm you,
and we're going to try and get the government to come after you.
We're going to try and get people to arrest you and take advantage of you,
and we'll say anything.
And then he asks me to say it, you know?
And then he says in verse 8, Then I said unto them, saying,
There are no such things done as thou sayest,
but thou faintest them out of thy own heart.
Hey, you're a liar.
You're just making stuff up, trying to hurt and destroy and to harm.
You're just making stuff up. Why?
Because people, when they hate the things of God,
they will lie and make false reports and twist narratives
and just say anything and everything just to hurt, harm, damage, scare, intimidate, whatever,
and they're just trying to hurt the work of God.
And you have to ask yourself this question.
What are Sanballat, Tobiah, and Gishom accomplishing?
Are they building anything? Are they serving God?
Are they offering sacrifices? Are they reaching people with Christ?
It's like their life's mission is only to try and hurt these people,
is only to harass these people.
And that's the same thing.
It's like, why wouldn't a psychopath girlfriend just start dating new people?
Why not just start a new relationship?
Why not go start working on yourself?
Why not get a new hobby?
Why not do anything else?
Because they have a mental disorder, they have a mental disease,
where they're just in a destructive only manner.
They have destroyed it. I will destroy.
And they will do anything to destroy.
That's why you have to say, like, this is a dangerous person.
I need to block, block, avoid, stay away, not engage with, not talk to.
They are a psycho.
I mean, if you went to some girl's house and she showed you a shrine of you,
you should never talk to that person ever again.
Okay? I'm just being honest.
Like, that is the creep, that's the creepy music coming on in the movie.
And you're like, I need to get away.
Ejection seat, stay away from this person.
But you know what?
Sometimes you have a sand ballot, Tobiah, Gisham, in a Christian sense,
and you also have to say, like, oh, wow, red flags are coming on.
This person's not sincere.
This person's acting like a psycho.
This person has shrines.
Like, I need to block, stay away, have nothing to do with,
don't engage this type of a person,
because they're a dangerous, dangerous person.
Now, we keep reading in this story,
I want to read just a few more verses here.
He says in verse 8,
Then I sent unto him, saying, There are no such things done as thou sayest,
but thou faintest not of thy own heart.
Verse 9, For they all made us afraid.
Here's the thing that's difficult,
is sometimes their tactics work a little bit.
Sometimes they do make you a little nervous, uncomfortable, afraid.
They can kind of put fear in your heart.
Notice it says, saying, Their hands shall be weakened from the work
that it be not done.
Now, therefore, O God, strengthen my hands.
So I said, you know what? This is uncomfortable.
I don't like this person.
I hate the fact that they're harassing me.
I can't stand all the words that they're saying against me.
They want to hurt me.
They won't stop.
They won't quit.
They won't give up.
And you know what?
It even worked a little bit.
It made me a little bit afraid.
But you know what?
I'm going to pray that God will strengthen my hands anyways.
I'm just going to pray that God will strengthen my heart
and strengthen my mind,
because you know what?
Sometimes you're going to have to deal
with these uncomfortable people.
They're so annoying.
Let's look at some New Testament examples of this.
Go to Acts chapter 16.
We'll finish kind of looking at some examples of this,
but you can apply this sermon in a lot of ways, okay?
So number one, if you have a psycho ex-girlfriend,
stay away from her.
If you have a psycho ex-boyfriend,
stay away from that particular individual.
But then let's go broader, a psycho ex-friend.
Maybe you just literally have a friendship that ended
and they won't stop believing you.
Act the exact same way.
And what if it was in a spiritual context?
You have other Christians or other people,
other pastors, churches, whatever,
that are just going down this path of destruction,
of just their only goal is to destroy.
You want to stay away from that person.
You know, it just doesn't make sense.
It's not healthy.
They're not somebody you want to be around.
And we have to be careful.
And let's just be honest.
This is something that all the great men
in the New Testament had to deal with.
I'm going to show you.
I'm going to prove to you
that this is what they had to deal with.
Look at Acts chapter 16.
Look at verse 16.
And she came out the same hour.
So it's like the Apostle Paul,
he has like a psycho ex demon-possessed lady.
I mean, this is like this demon-possessed lady
that won't stop following around,
won't stop harassing them, won't let them go.
And here's something you have to think about.
It's possible that psycho exes,
especially in the spiritual context,
are actually demon-possessed.
These people are demon-possessed
and that's why they won't leave you alone.
That's why they won't stop harassing you.
I mean, we've had some protesters
that I'm thinking like,
they might be demon-possessed.
And they just can't.
And it's like you guys got to pray like,
God, will you please, you know,
get this demon or whatever away from us.
And you're just kind of like thinking,
to me, like Paul,
when he said he prayed for a thorn in the flesh
to depart from him,
the messenger of Satan which buffeted him,
sometimes I've wondered if that's like a person.
You know, there's a lot of interpretations of that verse.
I kind of lean towards it's probably like a person
that was harassing the apostle Paul
and for whatever reason,
God wasn't allowing that person to depart from him
even though he wanted the thing to depart from him.
And it's like I've had people
that were harassing our church or harassing me
that I'm just like,
please, can this person leave me alone?
But this is what I knew.
Talking to them was only going to make it worse.
Engaging with them was only going to make it worse.
Giving them any and every attention only makes it worse
because they're attention whores.
They're trolls.
They just feed off of that.
And so the best thing you can possibly do
is just ignore them as much as humanly possible.
Make clear boundaries.
Stay away.
Get off.
Restraining order if necessary.
But that's about as much interaction
as you're going to have with them.
You're not going to really feed their ego.
Give them attention.
Never give them private information.
Try to get them away from you
because they just want to destroy.
Now go to Luke chapter 11.
Let's see what happened with the Lord Jesus Christ
because frankly speaking,
you know who had this problem the worst?
Jesus.
Talk about people just following him around,
harassing him that have no good intentions.
It's our savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.
And he basically has to go through this nightmare
of people just constantly following him around
without good intentions.
And this is what you have to understand.
This is what I don't like.
I mean, I just have to accept it.
This is what I just don't like about Christianity
is that for some reason,
if you're doing a great work for God,
you attract weirdos.
And if you don't think that that's biblical,
read the New Testament once, okay?
And then just go to a good church for a little while.
And you'll just realize that good churches,
great churches attract horrible weirdo freaks
all of the time.
And I don't like that about it.
I wish that that didn't happen.
And I try my hardest to stay away from these people,
but if Jesus has them, we're gonna have them.
What does it say in Luke 11, verse 53?
And as he said these things unto them,
the scribes and the Pharisees began to urge him vehemently
and to provoke him to speak of many things,
laying weight for him and seeking to catch something
out of his mouth that they might accuse him.
Doesn't that sound like Delilah
when we started our story a little bit?
She's just waiting to get that thing out of his mouth
that she can use to get him, to try and trap him.
And look, this is what these people are like.
They're just waiting and they're listening to every word,
just waiting to catch something out of your mouth
that they can twist, to pervert, to use against you,
even if you didn't mean it, even if it was out of context,
even if it's insincere.
They just want to even catch that out.
And they just want to try and twist every narrative.
And of course if you actually have faults,
you know, Jesus didn't have any faults.
I actually have faults, okay?
So you could probably even find things that I've said
and done that it's like, hey, this is bad, this is wrong,
whatever, you don't like it.
It's funny to me when people say like,
oh, to go to Steadfast Baptist Church,
you have to agree with every single thing
that Pastor Shelley says.
And I'm thinking like, well, I can't go.
Because I don't even agree with everything that I say.
You know, it's like so weird.
But you know what, that's what these people are like.
They're just trying to catch anything and everything
and they're trying to hurt you and harm you and damage you
and they're always recording
and they're always sharing everything
and you're just like, it's weird.
They're the weird people, okay?
Go if you would to Acts chapter 17.
So Jesus always had this.
The Pharisees, the Jews,
they're constantly going after Jesus.
They're constantly trying to trap him.
They're constantly laying in wait.
They're constantly trying to get his attention.
And you know what, he's always careful.
He often answers their questions with questions
or won't answer their question whatsoever.
And we have to learn from his example
that there are some people that are unreasonable.
There are some people that are just trolls.
There are some people that are just that psycho ex-girlfriend
that you have to say, you know what,
you're weird, stay away from me.
You're weird, okay?
And you're dangerous.
And you're someone that I don't even want to engage with
because you don't have any good intentions at all.
Acts chapter 17, look at verse 5.
But the Jews, which believed not, moved with envy,
took unto them certain lewd fellows of the baser sort
and gathered a company
and set all the city on an uproar
and assaulted the house of Jason
and sought to bring them out to the people.
And when they found them not, they drew Jason
and certain brethren of the rulers of the city, crying.
These that have turned the world upside down
are coming there also.
So notice, not only are the Jews
going to harass the Lord Jesus Christ,
they're going to harass the greatest Christian alive.
Who is it that the Jews harass?
Do they harass just some random Christian,
just some random backslidden guy
that's on his couch eating chips off his chest
that thinks you don't even have to call upon
the name of the Lord to be saved?
No, he's not harassing that person.
You know who he's harassing?
He's harassing the apostle Paul
who's turning the world upside down with the gospel.
That's the person he's harassing.
And sometimes you have to say, like,
who is the greatest player on the team?
If you're just watching a football game
and you see, you know what?
They're triple covering this one wide receiver
and this other guy, they're leaving wide open.
What do you think that that means?
Let me explain it to you.
It means that guy's the best receiver.
And let me explain something to you.
When literally all the forces of evil
and all the satanic evil people are attacking one person,
it should just be like a red flag in your mind,
like, wow, that person must be doing something for God.
Because I don't think the devil
is trying to harass demonic people.
I don't think that the devil is trying to hurt and harm his own
because a house divided cannot stand.
If Satan is against Satan, his house is going to fall.
You know Satan puts all of these enemy forces
and evil demonic spirits to try and harass people
doing something for God.
That's who he's attacking.
That's who he's focused on.
And so it's no coincidence that the apostle Paul,
doing some great work for God,
is what?
Being harassed by Jews just constantly.
They're moved with envy.
They're siccing on them, the lewd fellows of the baser sort.
That's faggots if you didn't know what that meant, okay?
They're sending just the most gross, disgusting people
to harass them.
And they're not content with just harassing them in their area.
What does the Bible say in verse 13?
But when the Jews of Thessalonica had knowledge
that the Word of God was preached of Paul at Berea,
they came thither also and stirred up the people.
They're like, hey, we can't even be content in our own city.
We have to follow them around and stalk them
and harass them everywhere they go.
Was there not another Christian in Thessalonica to harass?
No, they can't be content harassing the Christians
in their own area because they're lame in comparison to Paul.
They have to go find Paul in Berea and go harass him there too.
Why?
Because the people that are doing the most for God
are going to have the most resistance, the most enemies,
the most psychos, the most people attacking them.
And I'm only saying this because if you actually want to serve God,
if you want to do something great for God,
you will have psycho ex-girlfriends spiritually.
And you have to figure out how to deal with these people.
And you know what you don't do?
You don't engage with them. You don't talk to them.
You don't try to reason with them.
You have to avoid them and say,
hey, I'm doing a great work. I can't come down.
Hey, I'm not going to engage with you.
I don't want to be around you.
I'm not going to tell you my secrets.
I'm not going to tell you things that can be used against me.
I want nothing to do with you.
Stay away from me.
But you know what?
No matter how much you say that,
they just follow you around anyways.
They are a literal psychopath.
Go to James 4 and we'll finish.
So I just have three Rs as a recap of the sermon, okay?
What do you do with a psycho ex-girlfriend?
Well, number one, you need to recognize them.
You have to recognize them.
And I've tried to show you a lot of patterns.
The flatterer, the adulterous, the tail bearer,
the person that's insincere, the person that's stalking,
the person that has a shrine of you, okay?
That should be just like an obvious, immediate,
like, wow, this person's a psycho, okay?
The person that can't stop following you around,
harassing you, trashing you to all their friends,
trying to convince you their life is better.
Oh, my life has never been better since leaving the new IFB.
Liar.
Oh, I'm just going on so many dates now.
Oh, it's so great.
You have to recognize this person.
Number two, you have to reject this person.
You have to reject this person.
And look, it's not like, we're not talking about people
that just leave a church.
We're talking about a psycho ex-girlfriend, folks.
Major difference, okay?
It's not like there's some people that Paul,
and I'm sure there's some people that Paul talked to
that had Gamaliel's opinion that was just like,
hey, we don't want to be found happily fighting against God.
If they be of God, like, let them alone.
You know, he's not that person.
We're talking about Jews of Thessalonica
following you to Berea to harass you and attack you constantly.
We're making fake profiles to constantly harass you and attack you.
It's like, leave this person alone.
You need to reject them.
And then number three, we need to resist them, okay?
So, and there's a difference between rejecting and resisting.
Rejecting is saying, like, I've identified,
I don't want to be around this person.
But the resisting is, what happens when you get the second letter,
the third letter, the fourth letter, the fifth letter?
What happens when Delilah asks you again and again and again?
What are you going to do when you get called and called and called
and then they burn your field?
Don't we see a pattern here in the Bible
when they ask you a question after question after question?
They're trying to wear you down.
They're trying to get you to change your mind.
You've already rejected them, but because of the constant stalking,
the constant harassment, the constant just badgering,
sometimes we all have this temptation to give in and be like,
fine, I'll give you what you want.
Fine, I'll tell you.
Fine, I'll talk to you.
Fine, you're trying to get the monkey off your back.
But you have to realize it doesn't work.
It doesn't help.
They only want to hurt you.
You just have to have thick skin and just say, you know what?
I'm done with you, period.
Not only have I rejected you, I'm going to resist you.
And what does the Bible say in James 4 verse 7?
Submit yourselves therefore to God,
resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
There's only one way to get people to leave you alone
and you have to resist them.
Now, does that mean they'll leave you alone right away?
Not necessarily.
The Bible says about the thorn in the flesh,
he prayed thrice and God said,
my grace is sufficient unto thee.
So you know what?
You could even have people that just will never leave you alone.
And that's frustrating.
But at the end of the day, you know what?
If you want to serve God,
you're going to probably have to deal with this issue.
Now hopefully you never have to deal with this issue
with actual psycho girlfriends, okay?
Hopefully you don't have this issue,
but if you do, you can't completely stop it.
You could literally have someone just harass you
for the rest of your life and you just have to deal with that.
You could have that spiritually
where someone's just going to attack you
for the rest of their life.
You know who's someone that's kind of like this?
King Saul.
Saul will never stop harassing David until Saul dies.
And isn't that sad?
When sometimes a man of God,
someone that was greatly used of God,
their only goal in life is just to destroy another person
and their only goal is just to attack other people
and they're just so fixated on just like hurting David
just over and over and over again.
And you know what?
We need to all take that advice.
Just stay away from Saul.
Whoever Saul is, it doesn't even mean that Saul's unsaved.
Saul is saved.
But he's a dangerous person.
We have to stay away from him.
And you know what?
It's sometimes hard because David loves Saul.
It's sometimes hard when it's an ex
because you loved that person.
You cared for that person.
You still care for that person.
You still have good feelings for them.
You still want the best for them.
But you have to realize this is a dangerous person.
I just have to cut them out of my life.
And you know what?
We can all pray that the Sauls will fix themselves
and that they'll move on.
And in many cases they won't.
And just to preserve your life,
to preserve your mentality, to preserve your faith,
and to keep fighting the good fight of faith,
sometimes we just have to cut certain people out of our life.
And that's a tough message.
I'm trying to tell you this because it's real.
There are real people that are like Sanballat, Tobiah, and Gisham.
There are real people like Absalom.
There's real people like Delilah.
There's real people like Saul that just want to hurt you
and harm you and destroy you.
And you have to just say, look, we're done.
I've recognized you.
I've rejected you.
And I will resist you.
Let's go some prayer.
Thank you, Heavenly Father,
so much for giving us some wisdom in the Bible
to have to deal with difficult and uncomfortable situations.
I pray if it be possible,
if anybody in this room is suffering from someone
constantly afflicting them and tormenting them,
that you could just remove them from their life,
that you could just help that person just be relieved.
But we understand that sometimes your grace is sufficient unto us.
I pray that you would help all of us
have the right attitude and mentality
that if we have someone like this in our lives,
that we can have the strength to resist them,
that we can have the confidence and the power
and that even if we're afraid of them,
even if we're afraid of their words,
that we would just be strengthened by your word,
be encouraged by your example.
We would know that we're on the right path
and that we continue to serve Christ
and just ignore all the haters and the trolls
and the psychos and the ex-girlfriends and the Sauls,
and we would just resist them
and just keep our eyes focused on Christ.
And in Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
Alright, for our last song and closing,
let's go to song number 140.
Song number 140,
We Have an Anchor.
Song number 140.
Sing it out together on the first.
Song 140, We Have an Anchor.
Will your anchor hold in the storms of fire
When the clouds unfold their wings of strife
When the strong tides lift and the cables strain
Will your anchor drift or firm refrain
We have an anchor that keeps us whole
Steadfast and sure while the billows roll
Fastened to a rock which cannot move
Grounded firmly deep in the Savior's love
It is safely portwilled, the storm withstand
The port is well-secured by the Savior's hand
Through the dampest rain and the wild winds blow
Not an angry wave found by workflow
We have an anchor that keeps us whole
Steadfast and sure while the billows roll
Fastened to a rock which cannot move
Grounded firmly deep in the Savior's love
When our eyes behold through the gathering night
The city of gold, our harbor bright
We shall anchor fast by the heavenly shore
If the storms all pass forevermore
We have an anchor that keeps us whole
Steadfast and sure while the billows roll
Fastened to a rock which cannot move
Grounded firmly deep in the Savior's love
Great singing everybody. We were all dismissed.
Thank you.