The verse that I want to look at, the couple of verses I want to look at is starting there
in verse 3 where the Bible read, the Pharisees also came unto him tempting him and saying
unto him, is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And then look at
verse 10. It says, his disciples say unto him, if the case of the man be so with his
wife it is not good to marry. And the title of my sermon tonight is Seeking Marriage.
Now what happened in this story is the Pharisees there are saying, can we divorce our wives
for any reason? Can we divorce them? And Jesus says, no. You're not supposed to divorce your
wife at all. Let not man put asunder with God and join together. And the disciples said,
wow, if that be the case, it's not good to get married. And we see some people today,
they really are de-emphasizing marriage. Today, marriage is on the down, the decline. People
don't want to get married. But the Bible makes it clear that marriage is a good thing. Seeking
marriage is a good thing. We want our young people to seek marriage, but according to
the Bible. Turn if you would to Genesis chapter 2 if you would. I'm going to read for you.
Says in verse Timothy 4 verse 1, now the Spirit speaketh expressly that in the latter times
some should depart from the faith giving heed to seducing spirits and doctrines of
devils, speaking lies and hypocrisy, having their conscience seared with a hot iron. What
are these really, you know, damnable heiresses? What are they about to preach? Forbidding
to marry. Forbidding to marry. There are people today preaching doctrines of devils. What
is that? Forbidding people to marry. The Bible emphasizes marriage. It's a good thing according
to the Bible. And people ought to be seeking marriage. People that aren't married in my
opinion. Now obviously there's some caveats and exceptions and things like that. People
that are divorced shouldn't be seeking to be remarried or something like that. But it's
just a general rule. Those that are single, those that are young people, what we should
teach our children, this is a very important thing to teach our children, is they should
seek to be married. I was looking at some statistics. In 2014, it said that about 50.2%
of American adults are single. So for like the first time in a long time in American
history, there is more single people in America than married people. Which is a big reversal.
Because it says in 1950, there was only about 22% of people were single. So I mean we're
talking about a drastic change in our country. Now obviously you're going to have some portion
of the country that's single, just the fact that you have children and young adults and
college students. I mean these people aren't going to automatically be married. So some
percentage of your population is going to be single just inevitably. But we see a large
percentage of people are forsaking marriage today. They don't want to get married. They
just want to live together or just fornicate or just live these single lives. They don't
want to get together and be married. It's ungodly. It's wicked. But I want to give you
four reasons. I have a lot of things I want to talk about this sermon. This is a very
important sermon. But I have four reasons first of why you should get married according
to the Bible. Now I'm going to, there's maybe a few things that I say that might be my personal
opinion. If I say something ever contrary to the Bible, always believe the Bible. But
I'm going to try my best to make sure that everything I say lines up with the Bible.
And that we're taking stories from the Bible at least. Maybe, you know, but making sure
we're trying our best to get clear commands from God. Because we should base our doctrine
on what we believe on the clear commands of God, not just a story. Because in the topic
of marriage, I mean, you could get any doctrine you want from just a story in the Bible. I
mean, you see all kinds of stories of polygamy and adultery and weird fortification. I mean,
you have to make sure that you're doing your best to say, hey, is this really what God's
saying? Is this really God's clear commandments? But look at Genesis chapter two verse eighteen.
This is something that came out of God's mouth. It says, and the Lord God said, it is not
good that the man should be alone. I will make him and help me for him. Now, there's
a lot of things in the Bible that people might twist or try to pervert to say, well, I don't
think you should get married. I don't think, you know, God wants us to get married or maybe
marriage isn't the best thing. Maybe that's not the thing that God really wants for you.
No, what God said out of his mouth is it's not good that the man should be alone. He
says, I will make a help me for him. I think the first reason why people should seek marriage
is to have a companion, is to have a person with them in the fight. We see for the man,
he has a help me. He has someone that's going to help him, that's going to labor with him,
that's going to do things for him, that's going to serve him in a lot of ways. With
the man, you know, with the, for the wife, he's going to be one to love her, to cherish
her, to provide her, to take care of her. When we see her in the fight together, you're
not alone, you have someone with you. The Bible says in Proverbs 5 18, let thy fountain
be blessed and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. You know, it's a really good thing
for people to do, get married young. You know, that's not something that very many people
encourage today. Even people that might be pro-marriage, they say, just wait it out.
You know, soil your wild oats, take your time, get the note. You know, the Bible says, rejoice
with the wife of thy youth. You know, it's a good thing to get married young. Go to Ecclesiastes
chapter four if you would. The Bible says in Proverbs 19 14, house and riches are the
inheritance of fathers and a prudent wife is from the Lord. A prudent wife is from the
Lord. What a great thing that God wants to give people. He wants to give them a prudent
wife. If you're given a prudent wife, he's saying it's from God. That means that God
is trying to raise up godly women. He wants parents to raise up godly and prudent women
so they can be given as a great reward, as something that man, you know, can receive
of the Lord. A prudent wife. What a great thing. We see that you can have this companion.
We can have this fellow laborer. Look at Ecclesiastes four verse eight. There is one alone and there's
not a second. Yea, he hath neither child nor brother. Yet is there no end of all his labor
neither is I satisfied with riches. Neither sayeth he. For whom do I labor and reap my
soul of good. This is also vanity. Yea, it is sore travail. Two are better than one because
they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow.
But woe to him that is alone when he falleth. For he hath not another to help him up. Again,
if two lie together, then they have heat. But how can one be warm alone? And if one
prevail against him, two shall withstand him. And if three forward cold is not quickly broken.
Now there's a lot of applications to this. You know, the first application would be soul
winning. You have a partner, the two are together. But look at verse eleven. This says it's soul
winning. It says if two lie together, then they have heat. What is it talking about?
Talking about a husband and their wife going to bed at night when it's cold and they have
heat one to another. Two is better than one. Two is better than one is what the Bible says.
Go if you would to Genesis chapter twenty-four. Go back to Genesis. In John chapter two we
see Jesus was called to the marriage. It says in the third day there was a marriage in Cana
of Galilee and the mother of Jesus was there and both Jesus was called and his disciples
to the marriage. Jesus Christ went to weddings. I mean, I don't think he was against weddings
if he's showing up at the weddings performing his first miracle at a wedding. Oh, but I'm
against marriage. I'm against people getting together. Of course not. Obviously we see
that Jesus Christ, he was there at the wedding. He was celebrating with the other people.
He's performing his first miracle at a wedding. That's not, that's not a coincidence in my
mind. But obviously that's not a clear thing, but we see a lot of examples in the Bible
where God's wanting people to come together. He's saying two are better than one. He's
saying it's not good for the man to be alone. He's attending marriages. In Matthew nineteen
verse five when we, the passage that we read, this is Jesus speaking. He said, for this
cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they twain
shall be one flesh. You know, there's only one relationship on this earth that the Bible
describes it as being one flesh. That's marriage. It's saying, Hey, these two are coming together
and becoming one. There's a special unity between a man and a woman that get married.
Something that you cannot have when you're single. That's why it says, you know, that
the man is not good for the man not to be alone. It's good to have a companion. It's
good to have somebody to talk to. It's good to have somebody to go to battle with. It's
good to have somebody, you know, to build you up and to lift you up. You have a hard
day and the husband comes home and he can help the wife. He can comfort her. He can
give her, you know, uh, he can do all kinds of things that help her in her life. Maybe
give her emotional support, tell her that he loves her. You know, maybe even just, it's
been a hard day physically. He can, he can help her leave her with that. We see in Proverbs
chapter 31 the Bible says in verse 10 who can find a virtuous woman for her price is
far above rubies. The heart of her husband does safely trust in her so that he shall
have no need of spoil. The Bible saying a virtuous woman in the context of getting married
is better than, than rubies. I mean, what could be better than just the most riches
in this world? A righteous wife. I mean, a righteous wife is much better than all the
riches in this world could ever have. What's the greatest thing I think you could have
in the flesh is a spouse. And not only that, a godly spouse, a righteous spouse, one that's
going to love you and cherish you and take care of you. I mean, I don't have to do my
own laundry. I don't have to clean the house. I don't have to come home and make my dinner
every night. My wife is there. She's taking care of things. She helps me. She does stuff
for me. And you know, it's not a one way relationship. We both help each other out. Obviously I'm
able to go out and make the money and provide her with the ability to go out and buy things
and to stay home and to raise the children. It's a mutual relationship, but it's a great
relationship because you can accomplish more. You can do more things. Two are better than
one. Look at Genesis chapter 24, another great beast and abbot companion. Look at verse 67.
It says, and Isaac brought her into his mother's Sarah's tent and took Rebecca and she became
his wife and he loved her. And Isaac was comforted after his mother's death. I'll read for you
one other place in second Samuel, 1224. It says, and David comforted Bathsheba his wife
and went in under her and lay with her and she bare a son and he called his name Solomon
and the Lord loved him. It's interesting that it has both examples. It has a husband who
lost his mother, so he has a death in the family and then we have a mother who loses
her son and then we have the husband and the wife both comforting the other one. Death
is a hard thing to go through. Death is a reality of this life, but a lot of times if
you lose a loved one, you lose a family member, you lose someone close, especially a child
or especially a parent. I think those are two of the hardest people to lose in your
in your life. You can see your spouse can comfort you. Your spouse knows what you're
going through. Your spouse in most cases is going to know your parents very well. They're
going to know your children as well. They can cover you. They can give you relief. I
mean it's much better than just being alone in your grief. Obviously it can also backfire.
I mean you could have like Job's wife where he loses all his children and then his wife
comes up to him and says, why don't you just curse God and die? But we see a godly spouse.
We see a righteous spouse is going to give you comfort, is going to give you, you know,
love is going to relieve you. I think one of the best reasons to have a spouse is to
have a companion, have somebody to go do something with. You know, there's a lot of things that
people today won't do by themselves. They need somebody else to go do with them. They're
like, man, I would, I would go out to dinner tonight, but I don't have anybody to go with.
Hey, I would go soul winning, but I don't have anybody to go with. Hey, I'd go to church
tonight, but I'm ready to go with. I would go walk in the park, but I don't have anybody
to go with. But if you're married and you have a good marriage, man, you've got that
built in companion. You can go out to the park, you can go soul winning, you can always
go out to dinner. I mean you have that built in friend. You have that, that special relationship
that most single people will never experience anything similar to that. We'll go to 1st
Corinthians 7, we'll go to my next point. So my first point is that you should seek
marriage to have that companion. God said it's not good for the man to be alone. He
wants you to have that companion. That's why he gave marriage. That's, I mean, that's
the whole reason he created Eve is so that Adam would have somebody there with him. He
said, look, the dog is not a companion. Don't believe Hollywood. Dog is not man's best friend.
My wife is my best friend. It's not even close. It's, I don't even really like dogs that much.
I mean, they're okay, but my wife is imminently better of a companion. I can actually talk
to her. I can have a conversation. You know, I can make up a voice for my dog, but that's
not the same. You know, look at 1st Corinthians 7 verse 1. Now, concerning the things wherever
you wrote unto me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication,
let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband. You know what
marriage does for you? It helps you avoid fornication, a very wicked sin, a sin that
God punished with death many times. I mean, he killed 23,000 people in the Old Testament
for committing fornication. And you know what? Most people today, I would say 99% is my opinion.
99% of people, fornication is a big temptation. It's a big, you know, draw for people to want
to commit fornication. And you know what really helps that? Marriage, getting married.
And you know what? I love this verse because I believe it proves that fornication is not
adultery. You know, sometimes people today would get mixed up, especially with the modern
Bible versions, and they would try to say that fornication is adultery or they would
get confused on this definition. But think about this now. In fornication, look at this
verse. It says, nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife. So if getting
married helps you avoid fornication, then it could never be adultery because you know
what? Getting married doesn't help you avoid adultery. It only increases your chances to
commit adultery. I mean, now you can get, you can commit adultery if you're not married.
I mean, a single person that lies with a married person, that's committing adultery.
But if you're married, if you lie with anyone that's committing adultery, now if you were
single and you were lying with someone else that was unmarried, that's just fornication.
So if you're avoiding fornication, if the whole point of getting married is to avoid
whatever fornication is, let's assume we don't know the definition for half a second, then
adultery doesn't make any sense. Because by getting married, you're not avoiding adultery
at all. You're only increasing your chances to commit adultery. Does that make sense?
I mean, if I get married, now I'm only more likely to commit adultery. I mean, I only
have more opportunity. Now obviously you could say, well, by getting married, maybe you won't,
you know, be attempted to have these desires with somebody else. But that wouldn't still
make any sense according to this verse. It's clear that fornication is going to bed with
somebody or lying with somebody before you're married. And how do you help that? By getting
married. Because when you get married, you have a place to fulfill that righteous desire
within marriage. Go if you would to Colossians chapter three. The Bible says in first Corinthians
seven six also, but I speak this by permission and not a commandment for I would that all
men were even as myself, but every man had this proper gift of God. One after this man
or another after that, I say therefore to the unmarried and widows is good for them
if they abide even as I, but if they cannot contain, let them marry for it is better to
marry than to burn. I believe most people, just the majority of people, this is not something
they can contain. So you know what it's good for them to do? Get married. Look at the first
Colossians chapter three verse one says, if you then be risen with Christ, seek those
things which are above, where Christ is on the right hand of God. Set your affection
on things above, not on things of the earth, for you're dead. And if your life is hit with
Christ and God and Christ who is our life shall appear, then shall you also appear with
them in glory. Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth, fornication, uncleanness,
inordinate affection, evil concubicence and covetousness, which is idolatry, for which
things sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience and the which he
also walked sometime when he lived in them. The Bible says you should mortify your members.
We shouldn't be committing fornication. Go back to Genesis chapter one, if you will.
The Bible says, for this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that you should
abstain from fornication. We should not be desiring fornication. We should not be getting
anywhere near it. We should be abstaining from it. We should be as far from it as possible.
How do you get away from fornication? Get married. Getting married will help you avoid
this temptation. The Bible says in Hebrews chapter 13 verse 4, marriage is honorable
in all and the bed undefiled, but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Look, marriage
is honorable, but if you go out and you live a wicked life of fornication or if you decide
to forsake God's commandments, God will punish you. And I don't believe, God says that he'll
provide a way of escape for your temptations. So if you're really tempted with fornication,
I believe he'll help provide you with a wife or a, or a husband or somebody that you can
fulfill that desire. He'll give you a way of escape. The Bible says a prudent wife is
from the Lord. So if God's the one giving it, if God wants to give it to you, if God
wants to give you an escape, I believe there's a way to get it. Genesis chapter one verse
28 and God bless them and God said unto them, be fruitful and multiply and replenish the
earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the
air and over every living thing that liveth upon the earth. God told man when he created
them, be fruitful and multiply. So not only is getting married going to give you a companion,
not only is it going to help you avoid fornication, it's going to help you fulfill God's commandment
of being fruitful and multiplying. God wants his people to grow. God wants you to get married
and have children and to be fruitful and multiply. This is a command we see in the Bible over
and over and over. Go to Psalms 127. It says in Genesis nine, and God blessed no one as
sons and said unto them, be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth. He said in Genesis
nine seven, and you be fruitful and multiply. Bring forth abundantly in the earth and multiply
therein. God said in Genesis 35 verse 11, I am God Almighty. Be fruitful and multiply.
A nation and a company of nations shall be of thee and kings shall come out of thy loins.
God's saying over and over, be fruitful and multiply. Be fruitful and multiply. But if
we know that fornication is a wicked sin, guess what? There's only way to do this. Get
married, have a wife, have a spouse, have a husband so that you can be fruitful and multiply.
So you can do the things that God's wanted. God wants people to be fruitful and multiply.
He wants a multitude of nations. He wants a multitude of people to serve him and to
praise him. That's why he even created man is that relationship with us to have fellowship
with us so that we can give glory and honor and praise unto him. He doesn't want just
one person doing that. He wants a multitude of all nations praising and singing glory
unto God and worsening the Lord Jesus Christ and the gift that he gave us. Look at Psalms
127. Look at verse one. Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it.
Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman's wicked but in vain. It is vain for you to
rise up early to sit up late to eat the bread of sorrows. For so he giveth his beloved sleep.
Lo, children are a heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows
are in the hand of a mighty man, so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his
quiver full of them. They shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies and
their gates. It's interesting how this in verse three, it says children are a heritage
of the Lord. Notice that. It's not of the people, it's of the Lord. He wants you to
have children and it says the fruit of the womb is his reward. Look, God wants to bless
you with children. God's the one that's in control of giving you children. I've reached
this sermon a long time about conception. God is the one that brings forth every child
in the womb. God is the one that brings forth the life. God is the one that's blessing people
and he says happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them. I want to be happy. I
mean, who in this world is saying they don't want to be happy? I mean, everybody wants
to be happy. Happy is being fruitful and multiply. Why should you seek marriage? So that you
can be fruitful and multiply. Go if you would to first Timothy chapter three. The Bible
also says the wife, thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house.
Thy children like all plants round about thy table. And verse Timothy five, Paul said, I
will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give not occasion
to the adversary to speak reproachfully. Look, women and men were created to multiply. Women
should get married. Why? So they can bear children. That's what the New Testament says.
The Old Testament says be fruitful and multiply many times and the New Testament says to bear
children. I think that's the same thing. Look at the first Timothy chapter three. So my
fourth point though, why else should you seek marriage? Not only are you going to get
a great companion if you seek a godly, righteous husband or wife, not only are you going to
be able to avoid fornication, not only by avoiding fornication, then you can be fruitful
and multiply. But another thing you can do, look at verse three verse one. This is a true
saying. If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desire the good work. A bishop then must
be blameless. The husband of one wife, vigilant, sober of good behavior, given to hospitality,
apt to teach, not given the wine, no striker, not greedy and filthy lucre, but patient,
not a brawler, not covetous. What will getting married do for you? It actually give you the
ability or the option of fulfilling many spiritual offices in the Bible. The office of being
a pastor. It says if you want to be a bishop, you have to get married. You have to be the
husband of one wife. So you say, well, I desire to be a pastor. Guess what? You got
to get married. He better seek marriage if he really want to be a pastor. That's something
that God says, hey, if you really want this office, guess what? You need to, you need
to get married, but not only just a pastor, look to verse 10 and let these also first
be proved and then let them use the office of a deacon being found blameless, even so
must their wives be grave, not slanders, sober, faithful in all things. Let the deacons
be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children in their own house as well, for they
that have used the office of a deacon well, perch themselves a good degree and great boldness
in the faith, which is in Christ Jesus. It says in Titus one, I'll also read this, if
any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children, not accused of riot
or unruly for a bishop must be blameless as the steward of God. The Bible says, look,
if you want to be a pastor one day, if you want to be a deacon one day, you have to be
married. And you know, here's, here's another thought I have though. What if you don't necessarily
desire to be a pastor or deacon right now, right today, but then what happened? That
desire comes on real strong four years from now or five years from now or 10 years from
now and you didn't ever seek marriage. Well now you can't, I mean, you're not anywhere
close because the Bible is saying you gotta have children. They gotta be, you know, faithful
children. I mean, to have children sounds like you're having more than one. I mean,
if you just know the word children, you know, some people will forsake the commandments
of first and second Timothy or Titus about the opposite of a bishop or of a deacon. But
if you really want God's blessing, I believe you need to follow his commandments of what
it would be to have the opposite of a bishop or office of a deacon. And you know, even
for me, when I got married, I didn't know that I was going to be a pastor. I mean, I
might've had in the back of my mind or as a young child, thoughts of becoming a pastor,
that would be cool, but I wasn't serious about it. I wasn't doing anything purposely to become
a pastor, but I'm so glad that I was already married when that strong desire came. When
the desire came, hey, I might want to be a pastor. Hey, I might want to be a deacon.
I might want to do, fulfill a role or a position of God's service. And now I can't because
I'm married. So seeking marriage will give you more options. You know, some people say
getting married will just tie you down and lock you up and your life's over and now you
can't have anything. No. And according to the Bible, getting married actually gives
you more options as far as service towards God. You know, even if you say, I just want
to be an evangelist. Look, most evangelists today have a spouse. They're a family going
out and you know what? Two are better than one. I don't think that seeking marriage is
going to stop you from fulfilling God's will at all. God's saying over and over, hey, it's
better. Two are better than one. Be fruitful and multiply. God's not wanting you to just
get people saved. He wants you to raise up godly children to get people saved too. I
believe that it's very clear out of the mouth of God what he says about marriage. It's honorable
and all. So how do you get married then? I mean, isn't that the million dollar question?
I mean, you say, well, I'm seeking it. So then how do I get married? Go to Genesis chapter
29. So my first part of the sermon was just saying, I believe it's clear in the Bible
that marriage is good. Marriage is something that we should seek for. Why? Because you
can have a companion. You can avoid fornication. You can be fruitful and multiply. Not only
that, you can fulfill spiritual offices that you can't if you don't get married according
to God's will. Look at Genesis 29 verse one. I'm just going to read a few verses. We'll
kind of go through this story, not read the whole thing. It says in verse one, then Jacob
went on his journey and came into the land of the people of the east. Then he looked
and behold a well in the field and lo, there were three flocks of sheep lying by it. For
out of that well, they watered the flocks and a great stone was upon the well's mouth.
Look at verse four. And Jacob said unto them, my brethren, whence be ye? And they said,
of Moron are we? And he said unto them, know ye Laban the son of Nahor? And they said,
we know him. And he said unto them, is he well? And they said, he is well and behold
Rachel his daughter cometh with the sheep. Look at verse 10. And it came to pass when
Jacob saw Rachel, the daughter of Laban, his mother's brother, and the sheep of Laban,
his mother's brother, that Jacob went near and rolled the stone from the well's mouth
and watered the flock of Laban, his mother's brother. Verse 11. And Jacob kissed Rachel
and lifted up his voice and wept. Look at verse 15. And Laban said unto Jacob, because
thou are my brother, shouldest thou therefore serve me for naught? Tell me what shall be
that shall thy wages be? Look at verse 18. And Jacob loved Rachel and said, I will serve
thee seven years for Rachel thy young daughter. Look at verse 20. And Jacob served seven years
for Rachel and they seemed unto him but a few days for the love of he had to her. And
Jacob said unto Laban, give me my wife for my days are fulfilled that I may go in unto
her. So I think in this story, it's a really good story of a man seeking a wife. He's going
back to his home country at the commandment of his parents to find, you know, a godly
or saved woman. I think that's the first step that you should have. You should try to find
a woman that's saved. That's what the Bible makes very clear that we should not be unequally
yoked together with unbelievers. Hey, the biggest joke I can think of is marriage. Don't
get married to an unbeliever. Never. I would never recommend that. Never do it. Ever. Marry
a saved person. We're going to get some things. What did Jacob do? Well, look at verse two.
And he looked and behold a well in the field and lo, there were three flocks of sheep lying
by it. For out of that well, they watered the flocks and a great stone was upon the
well's mouth. And he said unto them, know ye Laban, the son of Nahor? And they said,
we know him. Verse five. So I think the first thing you have to do is you have to look.
We see he's on a journey. He's looking, he's using his intelligence. He's talking to people.
He said, Hey, I'm looking for these people. Do you know of them? Can I find them? He's
trying to find the saved girl. I mean, he's going out, he's doing work. He's on this long
journey. He's away from home even. I mean, there's a lot of things you could take from this story,
but the Bible says in Proverbs 18 verse 22, who so findeth a wife, findeth a good thing,
and obtaineth favor of the Lord. Now the Bible says, who so findeth a wife, findeth a good thing.
You know what that tells me? That the wife isn't going to just walk up and introduce herself. That
you need to go out and you need to find it. I will look up the first time the word find was
found in the Bible just to get an idea of what the Bible thinks the word find means. Well,
in Genesis 4, the first time we have the word find, it says, behold, thou hast driven me out
this day from the face of the earth, and from thy face shall I be hid, and I shall be a fugitive and
a vagabond on the earth. And it shall come to pass that everyone that findeth me shall slay me.
They're talking about Cain. When Cain was talking to the Lord, he said, look, if anybody finds me,
they're going to kill me. Why? Because he killed his brother Abel. Now think about this. If he's
going and hiding somewhere, the only way someone's going to stumble across them is if they're
diligently looking for him because he killed their brother. They're like, we've got to find this guy.
Think about a search party for manslaughter. I mean, this is not just accidentally coming
across him. No, it's like a search party. They're working diligently. Think about how police officers
and detectives, they're trying to find a murderer. I mean, are they just like sitting at the police
station hoping they come and turn themselves in? No, they're collecting evidence. They're going out.
They're using all their resources. They're diligently trying to find this criminal. And you
know what? I think that's a good way, the good attitude for a man to have for a wife. Says in
Genesis 18 verse 26, and the Lord said, if I find in Sodom 50 righteous within the city, then I will
spare all the place of their sakes. You know, when God was going to find out the wickedness of Sodom,
he sent people to go there to actually find out what it was like. He had to go. The angels had to
go into Sodom to find out what it was like. It says in Genesis 31-32, with whomsoever thou findest
thy gods, let him not live before our brethren discern thou what is thine with me and take it to
thee for Jacob knew not that Rachel had stolen them. Later in the story of Jacob, when he's
later married, Rachel, his wife, takes the gods of her father and hides them. And when Laban comes
upon the party, he says, Hey, y'all taking my gods? And he said, Well, if you can find them,
then whoever they were with, you can kill them. And guess what they did? They tore the place apart.
They're looking under every stone. They're trying to find it. I think these are like the first few
mentions of the word find in the Bible. There's tons of mentions of the word find, but I think
it's giving us some imagery of what it means to find. So when it says find the wife, look,
you got to use diligence. You got to go out sometimes away from where you live. Think about
this. I mean, we have Cain, these people going to find him, they're traveling to go find him.
Whenever the angels went to Sodom, they're traveling down into Sodom to go get it. We see
Laban, he left his hometown and traveled after these people, chasing after these people to try
and find his gods. We see finding a lot of times was getting out of your comfort zone, was going
somewhere, was taking, you know, a journey. I mean, these are things that, you know, I think we
could take some kind of notice to say, hey, maybe I should do something drastic like that. If I
really want to find a wife, maybe I need to be using more diligence, more effort, more energy.
The Bible says, who can find the virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of
her husband does safely trust in her so that he shall have no need as well. You know, it's hard
to find a righteous woman. It's hard to find a virtuous woman. That's why you need to be very
diligent. That's why you need to be trying very hard, I believe, to go out and find that rare
jewel, that rare root. And you know, if you find one, you better hang on real tight. You better try
real hard to get that one. Because they're not hard, they're not easy to find. You know, the
woman that comes looking for you is not the woman you want. The Bible makes that clear. We see when
women go out on their own, like Dinah. We don't have time to read the story, but what does Dinah
do? She goes out with the daughters of land. And guess what? She runs into, what is it? Haymore?
Or Hay, uh, I can't remember his name. He, she runs into just some unsaved guy and they lie
together. They commit fornication and then the guy dies. I mean, this isn't a good thing. We see
that if the daughters are just going out to just seek a husband, you know, a lot of times they're
going to find the wrong guy. You know, just as much as it is for the guy to go out finding,
I think the women should not be going out to finding. I think this is only for the men to be
going out and diligently looking and diligently trying. I think the, the woman in most of the
cases when they're getting married, they're just, you know, being with their parents. They're just
fulfilling, you know, the righteous works. They're just obeying God's commandments. And then this
righteous man comes in and sweeps them off their feet. Now, the thing you got to understand about
Jacob's parents, what do you think about Isaac and Rebecca? When, when Isaac was needing a wife,
the servant was sent by Abraham to go find this wife. And when Isaac came under Rebecca,
she was given a once in a lifetime opportunity. Hey, I need to find a wife for my servant,
you know, Isaac, but we got to go. And they, you know, the parents are like,
we can't make the decision. We'll ask her. And they asked Rebecca, they say, hey, you got this
opportunity. There's a righteous guy. You want to get married? And she went, you know, I think
the job of the woman is when the righteous guy comes to, you know, use the diligence to say,
hey, I'm going to take a chance. This might be uncomfortable for me. I mean,
I think it's probably uncomfortable for Rebecca to just decide to go with this guy,
to get married to someone she's never even met. I mean, and I'm not recommending this as like,
you should try to get married to people you've never met or do some kind of online dating or
whatever. But I'm just saying maybe it might feel a little uncomfortable,
but if a guy is diligently seeking you and he's a righteous guy, give him a chance. I think that's
what, you know, we could take from that story. The Bible says by means of a whorish woman,
a man is brought to a piece of bread and the adulterous will hunt for the precious life.
When it talks about a woman seeking a man, it's calling her an adulterous. That's not a man going
out seeking a woman. That's a woman seeking a man. The Bible says, when it talks about that woman,
it says in the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night and there, behold,
there met him a woman with the attire of a harlot and subtle of heart. It says in verse 15 in
Proverbs, therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face and I have found thee.
You know, this harlot is going out looking for the man. And you know what, if you just go out
in the world today, there'll be all kinds of women that will just fall all over themselves.
They'll just want to be with you and lie with you. You know what? They don't even know you and they
want to, you know, commit fornication or they want to be your girlfriend immediately. Guess what? It's
not because you're special. Don't listen to the lie. Don't believe the deceitfulness of sin and
fornication. She just do that to any guy, to any man. She's just looking for some guy's life to
ruin. You know, the righteous woman, she's keeping herself protected. She's not letting some, she's
not just giving herself to any guy that passes by. She's not, oh, here's another guy I can be
with and just whisper in his ears a bunch of things that he thinks he wants to hear. So the
first thing is I believe the man should be out looking. He should be out diligently trying to
find and seek this woman. Look at verse 15 of our story, Genesis 29. And Laban said unto Jacob,
because thou are my brother, shouldest thou serve me for not? Tell me what shall be thy wages, or
thy wages be. And Jacob loved Rachel and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel, thy younger
daughter. Now when you find this lady, that's not the end. I mean, you're not going to just run into
a lady and be like, let's get married. Go Vegas. We are married. I think that it takes a lot of
work. You know what? Dating is hard work. And you know what? It's a good prerequisite to a good
marriage because a good marriage is a lot of work. It's a lot of effort. It's constantly trying to
please another person by putting them first in a lot of cases, by learning their habits,
learning what they like, trying to figure out things about them, discover things about them,
trying to do things good to them. And you know, dating is a good way to get good practice in this.
To learn, hey, I'm going to learn what this person likes to eat, where they like to go, what they
like to talk about, what their interests are. I'm going to try and invest some time and energy and
work and effort so that I can marry this person. We see that Jacob was willing to work seven years
of hard labor for this woman. Because why? Because he was like, I'm really interested in this girl.
I mean, she must have been really pretty. I mean, seven years, that's a lot more commitment than
pretty much any guy in America probably give today. I mean, most guys today, they can't hardly stay
with a girl for seven weeks, let alone seven years. But you know what? The Bible says, if you love me,
keep my commandments. You know, work is how we show our love a lot of times. And you know,
if you really care for somebody, like you think you want to get married for them, you're going
to show up through work. The Bible says in First Thessalonians five, and we beseech you brethren
to know them which labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem
them very highly in love for their works sake. You know, a lot of times you can have a lot of love
for somebody because of their works, because of the work they do. What? Then, you know, like my wife,
preparing a meal for me, having the house clean, keeping my kids, you know, in order, doing all
these things. I come home, I see all that work. I'm like, man, that is easier to love you now. It's
easier to, you know, appreciate you and to give you all kinds of affection because of your works.
You know, when a husband, you know, prepares some special evening for his, for his woman and, and,
and, uh, things of her and prepares this special night and does all these things that she likes,
guess what? It's going to be easier for her to love her because of the works. We see that working
is a, is a big part of a relationship. Even with the Lord, we see that the Lord wants us to work.
If we want to show our love to God, it's through work. Now, obviously we don't do that to get
saved. We do it to show our love and appreciation for the free gift of eternal life. Go if you would
to James chapter four says in, uh, in our, in our story of Genesis 29, talking about Jacob says,
and Jacob said unto Laban, give me my wife for my days are fulfilled that I may go in under her.
You know, at the end of the day, you can, you can find the great woman. You can work really hard to
date her, but you're never going to get married unless you ask. You got to pull the trigger. You
know what? I knew my wife would marry me if I asked her, but you know, we would have never
gotten married if I never asked her. Just in fact, if I never asked my wife to marry me,
we would have never gotten married. You know what? Men got to ask. The Bible says in James four
verse two, look, he loves and have not. You kill a desire to have and cannot obtain. You fight
in war yet you have not because he asked not. You know why you don't have a wife? Because you're not
asking. I mean, if you never asked a woman to marry you, you'll probably never get married.
I mean, it's just the, I mean, it's pretty much a given that if you're not going to ask,
you're not going to have it. You know what? I even think this goes even further. Why don't you
ask the Lord for a wife? Why don't you pray into God and say, if that's what you really seek,
that's what you really desire. God will give you the desires of your heart. He wants you to
fulfill his commandments. Say, Hey, look, I want to avoid fornication. I want to be fruitful,
multiple. I want to have a companion. I want to fulfill in the spiritual office. Please give me
a wife. You know what he's saying? Well, you better go look and work. You better go out,
look and work and ask a godly lady. Go to the songs of songs, chapter three,
song of songs, chapter three. So I think you gotta look, you gotta be willing to work. You
gotta be willing to ask. You know, these are good things to teach children. You know,
these are good things to teach young ladies and young girls. So they know what kind of guy to
look for. Hey, I should be looking for the guy that's trying to seek me. That's wanting to work
for me. That when I say, Hey, you know what? I want to be a virgin on my wedding night. We're
not going to do anything that's, you know, ungodly or inappropriate. And he sticks around. That's the
kind of guy you want to marry. You know what? If you tell a guy that, and then he just runs,
he goes away. He was never going to be the guy that you should get married to. The guy that's
going to get married to you, he's going to work seven years for you. He's going to be like Jacob.
He's going to say, Hey, I'm looking for her. I want to work for her. And you know what? I'm
going to ask her to marry me when it comes, when the time comes, when I'm ready, when I fulfill my
service. Look at songs of songs, chapter three, verse six. Who is this that cometh out of the
wilderness like pillars of smoke perfumed with myrrh and frankincense without, with all powders
of the merchant. Now this is, this is a reference of a, the song of songs like wife or his lover in
this, in this story. And he, she's talking about him and it says, who is this that cometh out of
the wilderness like pillars of smoke perfumed with myrrh and frankincense with all powders
of the merchant. You know what? If you really want a woman to be interested in you men,
you got to have good hygiene. You know, women appreciate a man that smells good. And look,
he says that he's perfumed with myrrh and frankincense. This is, you know, even more
than just taking a shower, putting on the oil, putting on the perfume, putting on something that
smells good. And you know what? Less is more. Okay. Do not just be this person. You know,
the guy that pours like a half a bottle of cologne on, he walks in the room and everybody's like,
what just happened? What just walked in? Your eyes start watering. I mean, you're choking. No,
that is not what I'm saying. But you know what? A little, a little bit will go a long way. And
you know what? I've heard women lots of times say, man, I really like this guy. He smells good. You
know what? Smelling good is a, is a, is a sensation. It's pleasant to be around. If you've
ever been around someone that smells bad, you want to get away. I mean, your natural tendency
is like to step back immediately when someone smells foul, when they haven't brushed their
teeth, when they just are ugly, you know, on purpose, when they're not even trying to take
care of themselves. You know, women want to find a guy that's, you know, willing to take care of
himself because if he can't take care of himself, how is he going to take care of his wife? I mean,
that's a pretty sobering thought. Go to chapter four. Look at this. Look at verse ten. How fair
is thy love my sister, my spouse? How much better is thy love than wine and the smell of thy
ointments than all spices? Not only does a woman like a good smelling guy, guys like good smelling
women. You know what? I mean, I think again, don't be like the older ladies that smell like,
you know, the perfume shop. But a little bit goes a long way. Guys want a girl that smells good too.
We should all take care of our hygiene. We should try to, you know, present ourselves well. I'm not
saying that you should, you know, spend all this time in the mirror and get consumed with all your
vanity. But I'm saying, look, you should take care of yourself. The Bible says, you know, to wash your
face, to anoint your head with oil, to do things that are proper in place. You know, God's people
aren't these slobs that don't take care of themselves, that are run down. No. They're decent,
good-looking people. People look at Christians, according to the Bible, God wanted to look at
them and say, I want to be like these people. These people are righteous. These people are good.
These people are doing God's commandments. Look how great God's commandments are. They're not a
bunch of smelly, nasty, you know, disgusting people. You know, when God had the priest come
into the, do the office of the sanctuary, he didn't even want them to sweat. He wanted to wear light
clothing so they wouldn't be sweating. You know, it's not good to just come in just all nasty and
sweaty and you smell gross and you have, I mean, nobody wants that. People want to be around other
people that are, you know, taking care of themselves. So if you want a wife, my recommendation,
even when you look at the Bible, it's saying, look, take care of yourself. You know, have a
little bit of respect for yourself. Try to be presentable. I'm not saying you can spend all
your time in the mirror or trying to, you know, print yourself or something like that, but at least
smell good. I mean, you can take a shower. You can put on a little bit of ointment. Make sure you smell
good. So then how do you know? I think this is, this is a question that's really hard for a lot
of people. And like I said, you know, we need to make sure that we keep to God's clear statements
in the Bible, but I'm just going to give you my opinion from what the Bible teaches. How do you
know who to marry? Because this is kind of a tougher question, I think. I mean, there's 7
billion people on the planet. Half of them are one gender, you know, so how do you know? Well,
look at songs of Solomon's verse, chapter four verse one. Behold thou art fair, my love. Behold
thou art fair. Thou'st dove eyes within thy locks. Thy hair is the flock of goats that appear from
Mount Gilead. Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which came up from the
washer. Whereof everyone bear twins and none is barren among them. Thy lips are like a thread of
scarlet and thy speech is calmly. Thy temples are like a piece of a pomegranate within my locks. I
think, how do you know who to marry? I think you need to be attracted to them. I think that's
important. Now, obviously, attraction is in the eye of the beholder. You know, there's a lid for
every pot. Your spouse doesn't have to be attracted to the world. They just need to be attracted to
you because you're the one that's going to be with them for the rest of your life. You're going to be
the one that's spending time with them. Find someone that you have some type of attraction
for. Now, it doesn't have to be the most important thing. I'm not saying this is the only thing you
look for, but I think it is important. You should be attracted to yourself. We see in the Song of
Psalms, they're attracted to each other. They're constantly praising one another. Women like it
when you praise them how good they look. You say, man, you just look really good. I mean, you're
fair. He's complimenting your beauty. He's complimenting her outward appearance. You know,
women like that. Look at verse 7. Thou art all fair, my love. There is no spot in me. I mean,
this is kind of exaggerated. I mean, things are a little bit exaggerated. He said, look, you're
just perfect. You know what? I mean, husbands, just tell your wives that they're perfect. You
like songs? There's no spot in me. You know, I think when you have true love in your heart for
your spouse, you can say it with pure genuine feelings. I mean, you really can be like, I just
think you're perfect. The way that God made you is exactly how I like everything about you. Look
at verse 9. Thou hast ravished my heart, my sister and my spouse. Thou hast ravished my heart with
one of thine eyes, with one chain of thy neck. Look, I mean, in Song of Solomon, we're talking
about a relationship. They're constantly praising one another's, you know, physical attributes
because why? They're attracted to each other. If you want to say, hey, I want to get married to
this person. Are you attracted to them? Not at all. That's probably not the one. Okay. You need
to find somebody that you're attracted to. Go to Ephesians chapter 5, if you will. It says in
Colossians 3 verse 18, wives, submit yourselves under your own husbands as it is fit in the
Lord. Husbands, love your wives and be not bitter against them. I think another way, how do you
know? Another point in which you can know who to marry. Look at Ephesians 5 33. Nevertheless, let
everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she
reverence her husband. It's important for husbands to love their wives and it's important for wives
to reverence their husband. So if you're a man and you don't have any love for this woman, you
don't feel strong feelings for her, then she's not. I mean, how are you going to do that in
marriage? I mean, when you first meet the person and you're growing in this relationship, that's a
lot of times when you're going to have the natural feelings, the strongest. If you don't even have
any kind of love for him now, guess what? You probably shouldn't marry him because you're
supposed to love him for all of your life. I mean, till death do us part. And you know, as a woman,
if you don't have any respect for this guy, if you think he's a loser now, don't get married to him
because you're supposed to reverence him. You're supposed to respect him. You're supposed to,
you know, give honor under this guy for your whole life. You're supposed to obey him. I mean,
you better find it. I mean, if this guy is asking you like, I have no respect for this guy,
not the one, not somebody you should be getting married to and yoking up with.
Go to Proverbs chapter six. Let's meet on the last point. This I think is how you really know.
And for me it's really personal, but I think the Bible makes it clear.
There's another verse I read this morning. Let's see if I can find it real quick.
Yeah. So it says in Proverbs chapter six, verse 34, for jealousy is the rage of a man. Therefore,
will not spare in the day of vengeance. Now there's a ton of things you can learn from
every proper, but this is the one thing I want to take from the proper. How do you know who to
marry? I believe jealousy is one of the most important factors because you know, when it came
to me and my spouse, it came to the fact that I was really trying to figure out how do I know who
to marry? And when the thought came into my mind of my wife being with some other man, I couldn't
stand it for a second. There was every, every bone in my body was burning and jealous. He was like a
rage and the thought of her being with any other man just killed me. And I know, you know what?
I got to marry this lady. I got to marry this girl. She's got to be my wife. I want her. I'm
jealous over her. Says in second Corinthians chapter 11, would the God you could bear with
me a little of my folly and indeed bear with me for I am jealous over you with a godly jealousy
for I have espoused you to one husband that I'm going to present you as a chaste virgin
to Christ. You know, God's jealous for his people. God loves his people. He doesn't want to share
them with some other false God. You say, how do I know she's the one? How do I know he's the one?
You don't want to share with anybody else. You said, Hey, this, I don't want this person to ever
be with anybody else. This one's mine. And that's how you can know in your heart, Hey, I should
marry this person. This is where I'm attracted to this person. I love this person or I referenced
them. And guess what? I have this strong feeling of jealousy. I couldn't imagine someone else being
with them. I think these are the three strongest indicators that I could think of of how do you
know, how do you really know this is the person that I should marry? Say, why should I get married?
Because you can have a companion because you can avoid fornication because you can be fruitful and
multiply. And not only that, if you desire the future, even now, there's spiritual offices you
can fulfill by being married. How do you get married? Well, you got to look, if you're a man,
you got to go out there and look, you got to be diligently seeking. If you're the lady,
you got to be waiting for those opportunities and be taking them. If they come be taking them,
if they're knocking at the door, if Christ is knocking at the door, let him in. If your husband
is knocking at the door, let him in. There's another thing in Solomon. Solomon, she's wanting
her husband to knock at the door. You got to ask, man, you got to ask women. You got to be ready
to answer that question. Even when, you know, you say, how am I going to know in that time?
How did Rebecca know? I mean, it's a little war. I mean, you know, obviously I would take the
examples that I get. Do you have love for the guy? Do you respect the guy? Is this somebody
that you say, Hey, I don't want anybody else to be with him. I want to be with them. Hey, if you
really want to get married, take care of yourself. Have some good hygiene. You know, smell good.
And then how do you know? Are you attracted to the person? Do you really love them? Do you have
love already in your heart for this person that you're going to spend the rest of your life with?
And are you jealous for them? The Bible says, who so findeth a wife, findeth a good thing.
Never let anybody talk down to you about marriage. Marriage is honorable and all according to the
Bible. Let's close in prayer. Thank you, Father, so much for your word. Thank you so much for the
wisdom that comes out of your book. I pray that we would just, you know, get our hearts in tune
with your word, with your commandments. And if anybody seeks to be married or seeks for a spouse,
I pray that they can apply your word into their life and they could find that godly and righteous
spouse. That if they truly desire this, that they would pray and ask you and they would diligently
seek your commandments and the wisdom from your word so they could find this spouse. I believe
that you want them to have that. And I pray that anybody in here that's going to raise children,
that we would teach our children the importance of marriage, how to desire marriage,
how to go about finding marriage, the importance of marriage in their life.
I just pray that you would give us all these things in Jesus name we pray. Amen.