Yep, there you go.
How do I make it?
Oh, I see what you're doing.
But then my phone's got to be plugged in.
Nice.
I realize that was a biometric box at the top right there. That's a cool feature.
Let's forget about that, Finn.
Alright, we can go ahead and get it organized.
We don't have a hand nose for everybody, but you can do some songs or something, but if you want a lead one,
we'll let anybody lead one, so you can lead any song you want, but some recommended ones are 139, 150, 15, 126.
Does anybody want a lead one?
Which one?
36.
You got 126.
150.
139. 139? Okay.
I'll do, I'll do 67. So I'll do the last one. So we'll just go in that order,
Jorge for the Brandon, for the Tanner, and then for Bible reading, does someone want to read the
chapter for the Joe? You want to read it? It's first Timothy chapter four.
So we'll just have Brother Jorge come up and lead the first song and then pray for us and then we'll have Brother Brandon do the next song.
Yeah, I'm sorry. I have no idea.
I can't like...
If somebody gives me a ribbon, you know?
Song?
Song.
126?
Yeah, song.
I got it.
Oh.
All right, all righty.
One, two, three.
When the Lord's around, amen.
下禮拜見
Thank you for this day, thank you for this camp, please bless the preaching, bless our gathering together in the fellowship in Jesus' name.
on the first verse.
For a...
the seducing spirits and doctrines of devils, speaking lies and hypocrisy,
having their conscious seared with a hot iron, forbidding to marry and
commanding to abstain from meets which God had created to be received with
thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. For every creature of God
is good and nothing to be refused if it be received with thanksgiving. For it is
sanctified by the Word of God and prayer.
If that put the brethren in remembrance of these things, that shall be a good minister
of Jesus Christ, nourished up in the words of faith and of good doctrine, we're unto
that has attained.
But refuse profane and old wise fables, and exercise thyself rather unto godliness.
For bodily exercise profiteth little, but godliness is profitable unto all things, having
This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptation.
For therefore we both labor and suffer reproach
because we trust in the living God,
who is the Savior of all men, especially of those that believe.
These things command and teach.
Let no man despise thy youth, but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine, neglect not the gift that is indeed, which was given thee by prophecy, with the laying on of the hands of the Presbytery.
Meditate upon these things, give thyself holy to them, that thy profiting may appear to all.
and unto the doctrine, continue in them, for in doing this thou
shall both save thyself and them that hear thee."
Let's pray.
Thank you, Lord, for sped fast back to church.
Thank you for passing Shelly.
I pray that you fill him with your Holy Spirit,
give him boldness to preach your word.
And fill us with Holy Spirit as we listen, Lord.
Help us to applaud this message through our lives.
In Jesus' name, amen.
Amen.
I want to look back at verse 12 here.
Let me second.
Let no man despise thy youth, but be thou an example of the believers in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
And we have an admonition here for the young Timothy to be an example unto the believers.
And what I wanted to preach Sermon on was lead by example.
Lead by example.
And I was really just thinking about the idea of leadership or what that looks like.
What does it mean to lead?
And I believe my personal definition of what leadership really looks like is doing something that others are not doing.
Doing something that others are not doing because really if you're doing things that other people are doing your following
Now there's nothing wrong with following, and of course the Bible brings up following Paul as he follows Christ, follow me as I follow Christ, but Paul is a leader and so you're following his example.
And of course Paul is passing down the ministry in a sense to Timothy, he's not going to be there forever.
And so someone has to then lead, someone has to be the example, someone has to do things that other people are not doing.
Well, we think of it in a positive context.
You can also lead people to do bad things, can't you?
The Apostle Peter leads people out to go fishing
after the death of our Lord and Savior
and a lot of people follow his example
and they follow him out fishing
as opposed to following him out into the ministry
and fishing for men,
he rather goes out and fishes for real fish.
And really, as men, we need to be leaders.
We need to be doing things that others are not.
And while you may never be a pastor, that's okay.
all should be leaders and there's examples of men being leaders in the Bible that aren't pastors
and so don't take this admonition to Timothy as oh well I'm not a pastor. You know every man should
just be a leader. A leader in his life and a leader in the situations and environments you're in.
And while some people may be doing good things,
maybe in your circle, others are not.
So by leading, you're gonna be doing things others are not,
right?
In your friend group, you're gonna lead by example.
In your family, you're gonna lead by example.
In your church, you're gonna lead by example.
And so whatever context you find yourself in,
being a leader is someone who's doing something others are not.
And I really want to encourage you guys to do that.
Now I'm going to use the text here as our outline.
Notice things that he wants them to lead in.
Word, conversation, charity, spirit, faith, and purity.
All of these are very important.
I want to spend, you know,
probably a little bit extra time on the first one.
I think words are a really important thing here.
But go if you would to Deuteronomy chapter number four,
go to Deuteronomy chapter four.
So we have our sermon title, we have our outline here.
It's pretty straightforward.
It's coming from the text.
But we need to encourage ourselves and remind ourselves that we need to lead.
God made us very strong. God made men strong. God made young men strong.
He gave us an ability to go through hardship and difficulty so that we could lead, so that we could do something hard.
You know, oftentimes people will say, oh, paying all the bills is hard.
Taking care of an emotional wife is hard finding a wife is hard
You know bearing the burden of the heat is hard all these different things
Yeah, but God made you strong so you could do the hard things
Someone needs to do the hard things and that's why God gave you that strength
He didn't give you that strength to peacock and go around and lift yourself up rather to bear others burdens and
Do the difficult things and do hard things and one of the things that we need to lead in is our word
now
Word I believe you know here's just what we say what we do the things that
We communicate and we need to lead by example by the things that we say
There's a lot of things that are not being said today that someone needs to step up and be the leader and
Say what needs to be said say to do the right thing and say what the Bible says and the Bible gives us an
Admonition in Deuteronomy chapter 4 look at verse 2 you should not add under the word which I command you neither
Shall you diminish ought from it that you may keep the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you
We are not to add to the Bible, but more importantly, I think we're not to diminish from it
And what needs to happen is we need more men in this world to not diminish the word of God but simply say what the Bible says about every subject.
If men would just say what the Bible says, our country would be different.
A major issue in this world is people are just not willing to say what needs to be said.
And we need to be men of God that do not diminish a word, but rather we say the whole counsel of God
We are going to be leaders and say what needs to be said
How many churches today won't say what needs to be said
You know the pastor needs to be the example and set himself apart and say I'm going to say what needs to be said
And that's what true leadership looks like is someone that's willing to say the things that the Bible says that others will not be willing to say.
Go to Amos chapter number 7, Amos chapter number 7.
The men in the Bible, the men of God were hated because they were willing to say things that other people weren't going to say.
They're willing to say the difficult things that need to be said and let's be honest
Do we really need more encouragement in this world or do we probably need the hard things to be said because there's about
10,000 to one ratio of the positive preaching out there and
Everybody wants to coddle everybody and everybody wants to
Walk on eggshells and not hurt anybody's feelings, but our society does not benefit from being coddled
Men do not benefit from being coddled.
Society does not benefit from being coddled.
We need to lift up our voice like a trumpet
and we need to show people their transgression.
And look, not everybody's gonna receive the correction,
but coddling them won't fix it either.
Coddling isn't gonna do it.
Skirting around the truth isn't gonna do it.
Sometimes we need to just say what needs to be said.
Amos chapter seven, verse 10.
The name is I the priest of Bethel sent to Jeroboam king of Israel saying Amos have conspired against the in the midst of the house of Israel
The land is not able to bear all his words
Notice this guy's an example. He's coming into Israel and he's preaching the word of God
He's preaching the Bible and they say hey, we can't bear these words
But you know what someone needs to say what needs to be said
And the reality is, if God is mad at you, if God is mad at America, if God is mad at our church, if God is mad at your family,
if God is mad at people in your life, and you don't tell them, it doesn't prevent God from being mad at them.
By you telling them, hey, God is mad at you, you're not the problem, they're the problem.
They're the ones that have the issue and of course God is trying to warn Israel through the Amos by preaching the word of God
And they don't hear the rebuke and so of course they get destroyed
They're scattered and they cease to even be a nation. It just basically left to Judah. Israel is basically divorced
Abort of God scattered and destroyed because the northern kingdom of Israel is extremely wicked and they would not harken unto the Bible
and you know what as men
sometimes we have to tell people the harsh truths of the Bible because that's
how God truly feels and they'll say well how do you know that's what God feels
because the Bible is how God feels. The Bible is right and we need to be willing
to say the difficult truths. Go view it in Leviticus chapter 19. Go to Leviticus
chapter number 19. As men you need to be a leader and you need to lead by example
and an example of a man is that he will say the harsh things in the Bible. In your
family
Everyone will look to you to have to say the difficult thing.
If you don't say the difficult thing, if you don't discourage bad behavior, no one will.
And you know, how many grandfathers today and how many fathers today just won't simply tell their daughter or tell their granddaughter,
hey, you look like a whore.
Hey put on more put on some modest clothing put on some feminine clothing
You know telling their children telling the grandchildren is that popular?
Do they like that? No, but at the end of the day if he doesn't say it, no one will say it
Hollywood's not gonna say it Hollywood's promoting it
The mall isn't gonna say it the mall is trying to sell you the horse outfit
And of course, young men today, trying to commit vornication aren't going to say it.
They want the women to dress like whores.
And so we need the men, we need the dads, we need the grandfathers to say the difficult
things and to say, hey honey, you look like a whore.
And you know what?
You're not a whore, so why don't you dress like my granddaughter?
Why don't you dress like my daughter?
Why don't you dress like the godly woman who you really are?
And let me tell you something women today often will not dress right on their own
They need a man to tell them how to dress
And you know what someone needs a lead by word and say hey as for me in my house
We will serve the Lord
You know what when you go out into the world today, and you run into people that are not fundamental Baptist virtually every time they're dressed wrong
Why? Because they're not being guided. They're not being led and no one's leading by example.
And you know what? It starts with you and your wife, right?
You got to get your wife, right?
So you can tell your granddaughter and tell your daughter and tell the other people in your lives how to get right.
But we have Hortom is a huge issue in this country.
You know, the Bible says they'll should not prostitute thy daughter to cause her to be a whore unless the land fall to Hortom.
And you know, that starts with men. It didn't say, hey,
daughters, don't be whores.
It said, fathers, don't allow your daughter to be a whore.
Don't prostitute your daughter.
Don't allow your daughter to go out and just flaunt her body
and just go out there and hang out with the wrong crowd
and be in bad situations because you're basically
gonna allow her to just prostitute herself out there.
And, you know, of course, we could take it a hyper literal.
example there of like a man literally prostituting his daughter but I think
another more realistic explanation is look as a man if you keep your daughter
in your house until she gets married guess what you're gonna have to pay her
bills aren't you but what a most men doing they're shipping her off and
allowing the government to pay her bills student loans to pay her bills her
boyfriend to pay her bills or allow some other guy to pay her bills so he
doesn't have to pay for him so thereby he's basically prostituting his daughter
If the daughter wasn't open for business, the boyfriend wouldn't be paying anyways.
The boyfriend wouldn't let her move in.
The boyfriend wouldn't be taking care of these things.
So by effect, they're essentially profiting their daughter in a sense.
And you know what?
I think you should just pay your daughter's bills until you can hand her off to a godly
man that actually wants to respect her and wants to do right.
And you know what?
You're setting her up for failure when you allow her to go down a bad path and just get
Because let me tell you something, you allow your daughter to get ran through by a bunch
of losers, she gets knocked up with a bastard kid, probably no one will take care of her.
Probably no one will marry her when she gets past a certain age.
I mean look ask these single guys hey do you want a 30-year-old chick that's been
ran through that has a couple bastard kids they're they're like I'll stay
single I'll go to the Philippines I'll go where and I'm like not down and if you
marry a girl from the Philippines but I'm just saying like they're just like
hey I'm gonna do the hard thing because it's easier to marry someone that's
already here you don't have to go through the passport process you don't
have to go the difficulty of traveling
and paying all this money to go to a foreign country or do all this obviously it'd be easier to
just marry someone from home but you know what they're not willing to pay for some whore some
hooker that they have they can't put their their heart's trust in her they can't safely
rely on a woman like that that's already shown that kind of a track record and look we're gonna
have in this country an epidemic of single women of women that no one wants to pay for you know
And it would be so much better if women don't have the sense in their brain
to understand all these things and to realize their future.
And so we need men to lead by example and tell them the harsh truths
and say, don't act like this, don't go around here, scare off the stupid boyfriend.
And lead by example, say the harsh truths.
We need to say what needs to be said. Look at the Vatican chapter 19 verse 17.
Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart. Thou shalt in anywise rebuke thy neighbor and not suffer sin upon him.
You know, it's difficult to tell people that hey, they're in sin.
Now, you know, I don't think that we should just walk around and just pick everybody apart, but you know
Sometimes we have to tell people the harsh things. We have to tell them the truth now whenever I'm in a correct somebody
You know what I just I hate is when people give vague accusations or things that aren't in the Bible
So look if you are gonna offer a criticism it should be clear. Hey, this is what happened
Here's what the Bible verses on it if we want to correct people. Okay, not just as these vague things like hey, you're prideful
Okay. What did I say? What did I do? I don't know. It's just how you act.
How did I act? Well, it's just, it's just the way you are.
Well, how does somebody respond to that kind of stuff, right?
If you have that kind of a criticism, just keep it to yourself, alright?
But if someone says something like, well, I'm just better than everybody,
and you're like, hey, that sounded prideful what you just said.
That makes sense, right? Hey, if they make, if they do an action
that basically assumes that they're better, like, hey,
I'm gonna sit in the front seat, you know, it's like, you need to go back further, you know, buddy.
You need to go back lower.
You know, that's a prideful action, right?
We can objectify this isn't something.
But you know, when someone's sinning,
when someone's doing wrong,
hey, maybe they're going to the bar
and say, you shouldn't go to the bar.
You should abstain from all appearance of evil.
Hey, you shouldn't drink alcohol.
Hey, you shouldn't commit fornication.
You know, how many people today, even in their workplace,
they'll say, hey, I'm thinking about taking this girl
out on a date.
It's like, dude, you're married.
Thou should not commit adultery.
But how many people would be like, okay, cool.
You know hey, that is not loving your neighbor is when they tell you clear things that are in the Bible
You know what someone needs to lead by example and say hey, this is wrong
I mean what if every company whenever they tried to roll out this tranny LGBT nonsense
What if every man just set up and said like this is wrong. This is bad. They wouldn't have fired everybody
And often it just takes the one guy to say something.
But look, I'm not saying that you can't use discretion
with your job and stuff,
but I'm just saying at the end of the day,
if everybody would just stand up and lead by example,
things would be different.
And at least you could lead in your family,
lead in your home.
Hey, tell your family what's right. Tell your family what's wrong. Hey, ask for me in my house
We're not gonna drink alcohol as for me in my house
We're not gonna dress like whores and hookers as for me in my house. Hey, we're gonna go to church on Sunday morning
We're not gonna go to the lake. We're not gonna ride on the jet ski. Hey as for me in my house
We're gonna use the King James Bible
And you know what just lead by example and say hey, no one in my family is doing this, but we're gonna do this
My brothers and my dad and my uncles and those people they're not gonna do it
My neighbors aren't gonna do it, but you know what as for me in my house
We're gonna serve the Lord and you need to lead by example
You need to say things that other people won't say you need to start conversations
Go if you back to Deuteronomy go to do don't let me chapter number 11 as
The man not only do you need to say what needs to be said you need to be the first person to speak
No one else is saying it. No one even asked the question you asked the question you bring it up
You start the dialogue you bring it to the forefront
Well, I'm just waiting for my daughter to ask me about her outfit and then I'll tell her she looks like a whore
No, no, I'm gonna start the conversation
What do you think you're wearing
You know it was my daughter it's just going in the trash that's how the conversation starts
You know what I mean I'm just saying that's what a leader does lead by example and you're gonna you're gonna start the conversations
You're gonna start conversation with your family, and you're gonna say what needs to be said Deuteronomy chapter 11. Look at verse 19
And you shall teach them your children this talking about the statutes the words of God speaking of them when?
when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou
lies down, and when thou rises up, and thou shall write them upon the door of
post of thine house, and upon thy gates, that your days may be multiplied, and the
days of your children, and the land which the Lord swearing your fathers to give
them, as the days of heaven upon the earth. You know the Bible says is you need
to start conversations with your family about the Bible.
And you say when? Well, what does the text say? Hey, when you're sitting down and when you're just walking
so if you're sitting or you're walking or
What when you lie down or when you rise up when you're in your house when you're not yeah
I mean just every single day you're supposed to be starting
Conversations with your children about what the words of God
Hey, you go out in public and you see something that's a bad example. You see something that's an issue
Remind your children about what the Bible says about that person
Remind your children about what it says about flatterers.
Remind your children about what it says about the strange woman.
Remind your children about what it's about being a drunkard and a glutton and lazy.
You know, you go to that house soul winning and you're with your kids and you see beer cans all over and it's gross.
You say, isn't this gross?
Now, I'm not saying you should yell it or tell the person at the door,
but hey, you can say, hey, that was kind of gross, wasn't it?
See, this is what happens when you drink alcohol.
This is what the Bible is talking about, the drunkard and the slugger and the person that's, you know, lazy.
This is what's going to happen.
Through much slothfulness, the house decayeth and falls through.
You come to the house and it's literally falling through.
Say, this person is extremely lazy.
They're a derelict.
The Bible says a child left to himself bringing his mother to shame.
See these kids playing out here?
Horsing around, causing all kinds of problems, hurting themselves.
That's what happens when parents aren't watching them.
Hey, when you bring up, when you have to spank your kids, you bring up verses in the Bible
that explain why you're having to spank them.
And you're teaching them, and you're saying, we spank them because we love you.
And they're like, yeah, kids that are not spanked, you know, their parents don't love
them.
Our parents do love us.
You know, you're reading them Bible stories.
You know, you sit down with the family, you open up the Bible, you read stories to them,
you explain what the Bible means, you read Proverbs, you say, hey, what does that mean?
Ask your children how to go to heaven and get them saved explain them what baptism means explain to them
Why use a King James Bible and not the stupid Bible?
Say hey, here's this bad boy
show them hey this verse is missing isn't that a problem isn't this an
important verse you need to show them these things and talk to them and
teach them and explain these things to them explain things to your wife and
show things under your wife you know what this is what a leader does you're
doing things that others are not your wife's not bringing up the Bible your
children are bringing up the Bible you're bringing up the Bible
You bring up the Bible around your friends. You bring up the Bible around your family.
You're bringing about in the Bible about your extended family. You are a leader.
You are leading by example. And look, when you are a leader, people will notice.
I remember even at work I just would read my Bible pretty much in between lunch or during lunch
You know just while I could because otherwise I wasn't getting my bi-word again
You know is this hard it's hard to do that kind of stuff and I wasn't being like real you know obnoxious about anything
I wasn't like trying to you know go run. Hey, did you know I'm reading my Bible?
You know, I'm just fine. I'm quiet place read my book
But you know the CEO of the company noticed me do that on a regular basis
And so, one day, he just walked in, just sat down in my office, and was just like,
give me a Bible verse right now.
Nice.
Now, I wish I'd been a little more prepared.
I gave him Romans 1.20, I think, for the invisible things of him from the creation of the world,
they're clearly seen being understood by the things that are made, even as eternal power and Godhead,
so they're without excuse.
And he's like, what does that mean?
I just quoted it for him because I was just sitting there. I was like, I don't even know what the person
Yeah, I should give him John 316 or something. I don't know but I was a little bit caught off guard
And then I just said well, you know just it just says like you know and because I don't think he was really a Christian that much
He was just kind of searching so I was trying to just get him the idea like hey
God's obvious through his creation. You can see these things
But you know hey when you're a leader people notice and they'll come up to you or they want to follow your example
Hey, you know what you can't follow something. That's not leading
Someone needs to lead, someone needs to do something.
And you know, here's some just practical tips.
Hey, start conversations with people.
Start conversations with church members,
start conversations with your family, with your wife.
You know what?
Lead by example of soul winning.
You should be the person that's starting the soul winning.
You're going out.
Become a talker.
Be really good at soul winning.
And when you're really good at soul winning, people ask you for tips and want to follow
your example of soul winning.
You know what?
Lead by having a family devotion.
Teach your family the Bible sit them down read verses to them and explain things to them
Be ready to answer questions and look you may not know everything in the Bible
No one knows everything in the Bible, but you know what take the time to look it up
I know for me and my wife
I was trying to convince her of being King James only at one point our marriage and she didn't agree with me and
So I said all right
We'll just read a couple chapters of the Bible every night and then if you have a question
I'll answer it because she was saying
you know, well this one's hard. We can't understand it. And I said no, I think we can. So how do we do
that? We prove it, right? We just read a couple chapters every single day and if you know she
has a question we talk about it. Now what I was doing because I was nervous and I was like I don't
know what the Bible is saying either, is I would try to read a couple chapters ahead every day
like before and then I would like really think about the chapters and think like what possible,
like whatever questions I had is probably going to be the same question she was going to ask.
And so then I would try to think about them, look them up, get an idea, so that I'm kind of ready.
And that's why I even became post-trib is because we were doing this together regularly
and she was like, hey, when you come home tonight, I want you to explain what Mark 13 means.
And she's like, I have a question about Mark 13.
And I start reading, I'm like trying to figure out
what her question is.
And then I get distracted and I'm thinking like,
what the heck did that say?
That's like after that tribulation.
And then I end up like looking up
first Thessalonians chapter four
and I was like comparing all these verses
and I was like, dang, it's not pre-trib, it's post-trib.
And then I had to go home and but like she really didn't fight me on that at all
but it was just I was just ready when I went home to answer her question to try
and teach her what the Bible says and look we fought a lot in that period in
our relationship it was contentious and I I'm not gonna stand up here and say
that I have a perfect husband because I'm not I'm not gonna say that I haven't
fought we've raised our voices we've said bad words I don't know if you can
Yes, I've said a bad word before and you know, we've done all the bad things you can think of
But you know that was also a crucial point in our marriage where even through that conflict we you know instead of just
Quitting on the relationship or giving up or walking away. It's just I just dug in harder and hey
We're gonna spend more time together and we're gonna do more things and we're making a lot of changes
We weren't watching TV the way we were in the past. We're trying to make a change there
We're spending time doing other activities playing board games reading the Bible doing this stuff
And let me tell you something some of it was awkward
I remember we would come home, sometimes we would come home and we were just trying to
get away from some of the worldly influences we had and it was like we were just sitting
here twiddling on our thumbs thing and this is the most boring thing in our life, like
we have to actually talk to each other and we actually have to spend time together.
But you know eventually you end up just doing it enough that you end up start liking it
and figuring out how to communicate and have conversation and it changes.
And you can like having conversations with your wife and you can like having conversations with other people.
You just kind of have to get through that hard spot and do the difficult thing and lead by example
and start talking and start bringing stuff up and having conversations that you want to have.
And you know what? It'll work.
God made you creative. He gave you the ability to come up with ideas and solve problems and you know what?
Hey, you have problems in marriage? That's an opportunity to fix them.
It's an opportunity to do something and work on them and improve and you know what? We need to lead by example.
We need to start the conversations. We need to teach our families the Bible and you know what?
It'll help you grow and become closer together and
I wish I could say that I could take credit
for turning her King James only.
I don't even know that I did.
But hey, I was consistent, and I prayed,
and we started going to better churches,
and then eventually, at some point,
she was King James only, and I don't know what happened.
And I was always like, so what changed it for you?
I'm always wondering, what was the verse?
What was the moment?
And she's like, I don't know.
And I'm just thinking, you know what it was?
It was being steadfast.
That's what it was.
It was just being steadfast and just over time just doing the right thing and
There was other things in our marriage that were difficult things. I was trying to get her to
And I remember there was one verse that the preacher used in his sermon and the sermon was lame, it was boring, I don't even remember it.
But there was just this verse that he read and that verse just cut my wife's heart, you know, open and split it open and just made her just like melt.
And I didn't know this but then she just changed and she just made all kinds of like improvements in her life and it was just the power of the word of God.
And you know to me what that told me it was like hey, you know a lame church is better than no church
And and and really just church is just important because you go to you go to it could be a Wednesday night service
And it's not even a chapter you're into but you just never know when a verse in the Bible is gonna strike
And you just never know when the Holy Spirit is just gonna enlighten someone and
Cause them to be won over and they're gonna finally see something a little bit different and they're gonna finally want to change
But let me tell you something the Bible will make the changes
the Bible can make the change. You have to believe that. But you know you have to
start these conversations and get the ball rolling and you never know what
conversations things can change. I'll say this, go to James chapter 3. There
were some times in my marriage where I kind of thought like things are
never going to get better in this area or things will never change or it's
It's totally it's totally been fixed. It's totally been changed now
I thought that like I thought that like a carnal sense like I thought like okay
This area is doomed or this area is gonna never improve or this area is you know not gonna be fixed
But I still prayed I still prayed that God could fix it and I and I kept getting frustrated because I said I feel like
I'm doing my part and I'm leading by example, but nothing but it's still not working
And so I just prayed and I said you know what I'm doing my part. I'll be consistent
But I said God you have to change your heart
And I prayed that for months and months and months and then you know what the Bible changed her heart
And you know what I believe prayer works
And you know I'll say this when we got married and the first year a few years of our marriage
My wife was a way better person and Christian than me and
It took me first fixing myself and to start leading by example
And then I could get a little bit ahead of her so then she could start following me
But, you know, praise God that my wife was a much godlier person than me because she saved me from all kinds of things when we were dating and even in the early parts of her marriage.
She prevented me from making a lot of bad decisions.
But you know what, as the man, I can't allow my wife to be the leader.
I have to be the leader and I have to start growing on my own and I have to start making decisions.
I have to get ahead of her so that she can start following me.
And you know what?
We need as men to start leading and getting ahead of our wives and being a good example
and making the sacrifices and doing what's right so then our wives can then follow behind
us.
And even if you've made mistakes, even if you've been less spiritual in the past, you
know what?
You can change that now and you can start heading in the future and forget all those things
in the past anyways.
Don't stop being the leader of your family. Always be the leader. So number one, we need to lead by word
But number two the Bible says we should lead by conversation
This is kind of the point that I'm making here, but it says in James 3 verse 13
Who is a wise man and a dude with knowledge among you? Let him show
Out of a good conversation
His works with makeness of wisdom now the word conversation
I don't know if it's just me or not, but I struggle with that word because when I think of that word
That's just kind of how I look at it, so then I struggle to think like what does this actually mean, what is this actually talking about?
One other way to kind of look at this word is like behavior.
But to me like more important word, the one that like really actually made me feel like I understood this word, is what it says here, his works.
So, if you think about it, your conversation is really tightly coupled with what you're
doing.
It's your works.
And so, what is a good conversation?
It's doing good works.
It's working hard and having good works, doing good works.
You can work hard in bad ways, or work hard in selfish ways, but it's saying you're working
hard in good works.
This is that good conversation.
And you know what?
We need to be leaders with good conversation.
I'll show you another verse, and this is right here, 1 Peter 2.
Look at verse 12.
having your conversation honest among the Gentiles,
that whereas they speak against you as evildoers,
they may by your notice this,
good works which they shall behold,
glorify God in the day of visitation.
So notice again, it's explaining to us
what that honest conversation is,
what is an honest conversation, it's good works.
So we should have a good conversation,
we should lead by our conversation,
meaning that we should lead by doing good works.
What does leading mean again?
Doing things others are not doing
Doing things that others are not doing.
I should be the leader of what?
Doing soul winning in my family.
That's the good work.
I should start and I should be the leader.
I should be the example of doing that good work.
I should be the person that's taking the family to church.
I want to go to church.
I'm the one making it to where, you know,
the family feels obligated to go to church.
I'm the one reading my Bible.
I'm the one doing all of the spiritual things.
Go to 1 Corinthians chapter 13.
like church, literally, what's another good work?
Just making money.
Because the Bible says that as a man I'm supposed to provide.
And if I don't provide for my family,
I'm worse than an infidel.
And the Bible says I've denied the faith.
So what is a good work?
It's working hard and doing good work.
And let me tell you something,
your wife will respect you more
when you have a good conversation.
When you are working hard and you're doing good work
and you're providing well.
Now does that mean you have to be rich or wealthy?
No, but when you're just working hard and doing good work
and you're putting a lot of effort
and a lot of energy in your job,
your wife will understand that and appreciate that.
They do not like to be married to a child.
A child needs to be told what to do.
A child needs to be babysat.
A child needs to be clothed.
A child needs to be taken care of and mommied.
And here's the thing, you know what, in some marriages,
women will mommie their husband.
But let me tell you something,
the more you are a man,
the less she's even gonna feel
like she needs to do such a thing.
Well, what's one of these examples?
First Corinthians chapter 13 says in verse 11,
when I was a child, I spake as a child.
I understood as a child, I thought as a child,
but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
You know, if you're speaking like a child,
you're acting like a child,
well, then sometimes you'll be treated like a child.
Now, is that right?
Should your wife do that?
No, but I'm just saying in practical reality,
when you are being a child,
well, often then the wife is gonna have to feel
like she has to fill the gap.
She has to fill the void that you're not fulfilling you know when you are just filling the void
She's not gonna feel like she needs to because you're already there you already making decisions
You're already working hard
You know if you're just paying all the bills if you're taking care of the things at home
If you're leading by example if you have a plan if you have a goal if you have a vision for your family
You say hey, we're gonna live here for two years
We're gonna save this amount of money then we're gonna buy a house over here and then after that
I'm gonna you know build you a garden over here, and then I'm gonna get this job
And then I'm gonna start this business, and then we're gonna do this. She's just like I'm on board
But when you're living in a one-bedroom efficiency with cockroaches, and she's like hey, you know
What's the plan, and you're like I don't know. I just hope I don't get fired today. I'm gonna call in sick again
Well, then she's gonna start freaking out on you
You know women respond well to leadership to a man having a plan having a vision the Bible says where there is no vision
The people perish and you know what as a man you need a lead by your conversation by your behavior have a plan
Have an idea do things now does that mean you don't adjust? Yeah, you should adjust
We all need to adjust at times, but you know what if you have no vision if you have no plan you're not gonna get anywhere
Think about it this way if you get in the car and you just start driving and you say where you going? I don't know
Well, where are you going to end up?
You don't know.
When you get in the car, you just put it in the GPS.
I'm going here.
Now, is there anything, like most of us, probably,
occasionally, we miss a road.
We miss a turn.
We do something.
That's OK, because you still know where you're going,
and you just, hey, we're just redirecting, rerouting, whatever.
Sometimes it even works out.
Sometimes it wasn't even a big deal.
Sometimes it's a U-turn.
Sometimes it's a few minutes.
Okay, hey, we have this vision,
and two years are gonna do this,
and five years are gonna do this.
Hey, we had a little bump in the road,
we had something unexpected,
and it set us back three months,
but we're not set back two years
because I had that vision.
We're only set back three months.
We're only set back 30 minutes.
We're only set back whatever,
and we're gonna get to the destination.
We're gonna get to the goal.
you know, make goals for your family.
Hey, my wife's gonna become a talker.
She's gonna get people saved.
Well, how's that gonna happen?
Well, you're gonna start going soloing with me.
And then we're gonna practice how to give the gospel.
And then you're gonna start taking the doors
and just introducing yourself.
And then we're gonna get there.
Hey, people don't just immediately get to places sometimes.
Sometimes you have to create a plan.
You have to create a guide.
Wherever you see things that you don't like,
make improvement.
You say, hey, I want this to be different in our marriage.
I want this to be different in our lives.
Then create a plan and execute it.
And look, as a man,
Your house and your life should be the way you want it.
The reason why it's not the way you want it
is because you're not leading and you not have a vision
and you're not executing that plan.
And look, whatever it is that you're not happy about,
whatever you don't like in your marriage,
identify it and then create a plan to fix it.
And look, it doesn't matter,
it doesn't matter what we're talking about.
You know, I don't like the meals that I'm eating.
Okay?
Then you're gonna identify the meals,
this is what you're gonna do,
you're gonna identify the meals that you want.
You're gonna identify what they are you're gonna figure out a plan of how to get that acquire those things
Even if you have to get the groceries yourself or whatever or help your wife figure out a time when she's gonna get those groceries
You're gonna you're gonna help her figure out how to get the recipes or the whatever it is that you want
And then you're gonna communicate and you're gonna say hey you could even just hand her a calendar and say hey this month
This is what we're eating
Maybe you're like, hey, we're spending too much money eating out. Okay. Here's the calendar where we're gonna eat and look
I'll tell you this not everyone would love that
But I think most women would surprise you that they'd be like thank you for doing that because they hate making decisions
If they just even knew like hey, this is what we're gonna eat
This is what we're gonna do and look I'm not saying you have to do that
If you're fine if your wife's kick-knackin out of the park and you don't want to worry about that just keep on going
But I'm saying if you're unhappy with the situation changing
Hey, if you say hey, I wish that me and my wife were more intimate or we had intimacy every day
Okay, then create a plan and execute that plan and say hey, buddy. This is what I need in my life
I need this how can we make this happen? And she's like well, but the kids or whatever
It's like, okay, what if I put the kids to bed you get 30 minutes to read and then damn it's on
And I'm just saying oh, I'm just mad because I don't have that okay create a plan and make it happen and leave and then it's gonna happen
Hey, I don't, I'm not satisfied with where we live
or what we're doing, okay?
Create a plan, create the budget,
create whatever it is that you need to do
and then execute that plan and get there.
That's what a leader is doing.
A leader is doing things that other people are not doing.
Your wife's not setting the schedule,
your wife's not doing whatever.
And look, in the bedroom,
you should be the one initiating anyways.
We pursue them.
If you're not happy with something,
quit waiting for someone else to fix it, you fix it.
you fix your life, you fix your situation,
you identify what you don't like
and create a plan and execute it.
And you say, well, I failed, okay,
then create a new plan and try the new plan.
And just keep solving the problem and just keep working.
Hey, I don't like, you know, the conversations
I have with my wife, fix that.
I don't like what my wife does all day, fix that.
I don't like how my kids are behaving, fix that.
You are the person supposed to fix it.
You are the CEO of your family business.
And you know what, who's gonna sit here and blame
the 1099 contract employee for the business?
They're gonna blame the CEO.
They're not gonna blame the part-time delivery driver.
They're gonna blame the CEO for not casting the vision,
identifying the problems in the workplace.
Hey, the product is too expensive.
All right, we gotta figure out how to cut costs.
Hey, we're not delivering enough products.
Okay, we got to figure out how to improve manufacturing.
Hey, we're not selling enough products.
We got to increase the sales, right?
It's on the CEO to identify the problems of the business,
create plans, get the right people doing the right thing,
lead by example, you know what, start doing the work.
And you know what, as a man, we got to do a lot of work.
We got to work and put in the effort
and the areas that you're not satisfied,
the areas that you don't like,
you need to start with yourself and fix yourself
and then fix the rest of the people around you.
Hey, I don't like how I look, okay?
Create a plan I'm gonna work out at 6 a.m. Hey, I don't like where my spiritual walk is it right now, okay?
Make a plan. I'm gonna read the Bible this many minutes 15 minutes every day. I'm gonna. Hey, I'm missing this
Okay, I'm gonna make a just minute lunch. I'm gonna make a just minute night. Whatever it is
Hey, I'm not doing as much soul-inning as I'd like. Okay. I'm gonna move my schedule around
You know, we have to constantly be reevaluating our lives identifying the problems
looking at where we're going and saying,
you know what, I don't like where I'm going,
I wanna make a plan, I wanted to change this,
I'm gonna lead in conversation,
I'm gonna lead in behavior.
And you know what, I'm gonna put away childish things.
Because it's like, hey, my vision is for my wife
and I to have intimacy every night
and to eat these really good meals
and be able to get a better house in two years.
Well, playing video games doesn't fit into that.
And look, I'm not mad at you, if you played a video game
or if you did something fun every once in a while,
if you can book in, you have a little bit of leisure time,
but your wife probably won't mind.
If you're paying all the bills and moving in your plan,
you got all these things,
if you spend 30 minutes doing something.
But you know what, if you're spending five hours a night
playing video games and you have no vision, no plan,
you're not accomplishing a thing,
you're not talking with her,
hey, you know what, you're gonna cause yourself
a world of hurt and she's gonna start moming you.
She's gonna start mothering you, smothering you.
It's not what you want.
You want to smother her, all right?
Go to 1 John chapter number four.
Go to 1 John chapter four.
Can someone get me a water?
I'm dying.
Point one, we need a lead by word.
Point two, we need a lead by conversation.
Point three, we need a lead by charity.
First John chapter number four look at verse number 19
The Bible says we love him because he first loved us the word charity is true love
Why do you love God
Because he led by example and he loved you first
That's what that's why you love him. Here's the thing. Why why will your wife love you?
Because you lead by example and you love her first
Why will your children love you means you lead by example and you love them first?
While your brothers and sisters in Christ love you because you lead by example and you love them first
Why will you have any relationship in your life? You know, why will you have friends often because you were their friend first?
Then they might reciprocate. Now does everyone reciprocate? No, God's the greatest testimony of that, isn't it?
Probably only 5% of people even gets hate.
So 95% of people rejected his love, did not reciprocate his love, but you know what 5% did.
And in the reality of the world, not everybody's gonna reciprocate your love, reciprocate your friendship.
Sometimes you have to put yourself out there 20 to 1 ratio.
But the people that actually have friends and have a meaningful relationship with their wife and have a meaning relationship with their kids
You know what they loved them first now is every kid gonna love you back? No, is every wife gonna love you back?
No, is every church member gonna love you back? Hell, no
But let me tell you something some will
If you love enough people people will love you back
Most of them will stab you in the back, lie about you, flatter you, desert you, treat you like trash, rail on you,
project all of their problems that they have onto you.
They'll make your life miserable if you allow them.
But you know what? I already have zero expectation and think you're gonna do that to me, so I'm not that disappointed when it happens.
And I still am, I mean there's been people that were really close to me that hung out
with all the time, that considered close friends, even best friends, and then they just drop
you like a bad habit, lie about you, rail on you, treat you like scum, and you just kind
of are shocked.
But if it happens enough times, you start realizing that's just how life is.
But instead of getting bitter, instead of getting upset about it, I just say, oh well, I'm just
going to keep loving other people and move on with my life.
And, you know, when it comes to the relationships that we have, you know, even with your spouse,
there can be times where you kind of, you're ebbing in and out of love with your spouse
in a sense where, you know, maybe the relationship is really strong at one point, then it's kind
of weak, and sometimes you hear this and I hear this a lot.
It's just sometimes people say like,
I feel like I don't love my spouse anymore.
And praise God, it's usually not in the church,
but I've heard this from all kinds of people in my life,
personal friends, family members, things like that.
They're like, I don't love my spouse anymore.
And you know, it's just a really sad thing to hear.
But even if it's true, it doesn't mean they can't change.
And often it's still in there somewhere,
they're just kind of having a bad attitude.
But you know, what fixes it is when someone just says,
Why? Because we love him because he first loved us.
And you know what, you need a lead by example. What does a leader mean?
It's doing things that others are not doing.
So what would it mean to lead by charity, lead by love?
Even if my wife isn't loving me right now, I'm gonna lead by example and I'm gonna love her anyways.
even if my church members aren't doing it,
even if my kids aren't doing it,
even if the world isn't doing it,
you know what, I'm gonna lead by example
and I'm gonna love them anyways.
And I'm gonna do good under them anyways.
And you know, as a husband,
you need to be the example of love in the relationship.
Go if you went to Song of Solomon chapter four,
go to Song of Solomon chapter number four.
I mean, that's typically just how a relationship even works.
You pursue a woman that you're interested in
and you love her first and then she reciprocates
and then you get married.
And you know what, that doesn't stop when you get married.
You have to continue pursuing her
and you have to continue loving her.
Now I want to give some practical tips here this evening
and praise God, there's no clocks in here
so I have no idea.
I think Pastor Reyes is preaching tomorrow at eight
so I have until then.
Song of Solomon chapter 4, you know, Song of Solomon is some great tips on just like
practical understanding of what a relationship looks like when it's
healthy. Okay, this is what a healthy marriage would look like. What would a
healthy marriage look like? It's where you're complimenting and praising your
wife every day.
If you do not compliment and praise your wife every day,
there's room for improvement.
And I'll tell you, it will very much increase
and improve your relationship.
And you know, you need to start there.
You say, I wish my wife would praise me, okay?
Well, you praise her first.
You be the one that's charitable
and loving towards her first.
Look as long as Solomon chapter four is one,
behold, thou art fair.
What does fair mean?
Beautiful.
My love, behold, thou art fair.
He already said it.
Why is he saying it again cuz that's how he feels. He's saying hey, you're beautiful. You're very beautiful
He's repeating himself. That's Dove's eyes within my locks
My hair is as a flock of goats. Now. I don't know if your wife will like these compliments
But what is he saying? He's saying man. I just love your eyes. I love your hair and you know
What do women really love to be complimented on their eyes and their hair?
Now you maybe a goat isn't gonna be what it really you know wins her over, but I'm just telling you
Women like to be complimented on their eyes and their hair
And have you ever noticed this women that have straight hair want curly hair and girls with curly hair want straight hair?
Maybe it's just a guy didn't tell her. Hey, I like your straight hair. Hey, I like your curly hair
You know that you don't have to spend three hours being someone you're not I like who you are
And if you'd compliment your wife the way that she is,
she'd feel more comfortable
and not feel like she has to be someone else.
It says,
thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn.
Well, she's not British.
You know, there you go.
Which came up from the washing,
where everyone bear twins and none is barren among them.
I mean, according to the text,
she has perfect teeth, they're really nice.
Now look, if your wife's teeth are messed up,
just don't bring it up.
What is the point of the passage? The point of the passage is whatever you do like about your wife
Whatever is something that you just really, hey, I just really like her eye color
I really like you know, maybe she has rosy cheeks or something or maybe you like the way she does her hair
Or you like, you know, whatever even style of hair if she has it down or up or whatever
Whatever you really just genuinely like you should just make it a point. I'm gonna say that to her and I'm gonna say it
regularly and often
Do not compliment your wife insincerely, because let me tell you something, they're better at
reading you than you are reading them. And women can tell when you're faking it.
So you have to be sincere. But look, you married the chick, there's got to be something you like
about her. I guarantee you like looking at her. We like looking at women, that's just how it is.
God made us, we just like looking at women and whatever you like looking at, you just got to say it.
And, of course, as men, often we're kind of shy or reserved or less likely to say something,
but we need to train ourselves and program ourselves to constant compliment or wise.
That will improve your relationship.
Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy speech is comely.
So he's not technically only complimenting your physical beauty.
He says,
a thousand bucklers, all shields of mighty men.
I have no idea how a complimenting woman like that works,
but, you know, this next one I get,
like two breasts are like two young rows
that are twins which feed among the lilies.
Now,
Tip advice here. Okay. This is obviously something that's kind of personal
But this is what you should do. You should be complimenting your wife
About her hair and whatever even in the presence of others
But then these kind of compliments. Hey every once in a while just whisper an ear
These these are the type of things that hey you just get that moment and you just tell her something and she made blush
But it's okay because you're married
Look, you think that the guy that's dating that whore out there isn't going to say these
kind of things?
He's going to say even more filthy things than this and he's not married and it's not
right.
But it is your wife and you know what, hey, you can say these kind of things.
And you know what, it'll help her feel excited when you bring this kind of stuff up.
They love to feel sexy.
And you know what, talking about her does that.
Until the daybreak and the shadows flee away,
I will get me to the mountain of myrrh
and the hill of frankincense.
Thou art all fair, my love.
There is no spot on thee.
You know what I'm saying?
You're just perfect.
You know just just tell your wife. She's perfect and just compliment her body and tell her she's beautiful
And you know what if things are going to change in your relationship, especially if you're not doing it
And I don't know if you're doing it or not. I don't really care
But I'll just say this you know what I constantly praise my wife and you know what she can't get enough of it
I constantly praise her and I'm never thinking like and she's never thinking like it's enough
Okay, you got to do it and I mean look
She loves it, you just gotta keep going.
Look at this, verse nine, thou hast ravished my heart.
He's just saying like, I'm in love with you,
I'm madly in love with you.
My sister, my spouse, thou hast ravished my heart
with one of thine eyes, with one chain of thine neck.
How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse.
He's saying like, I just love you when you love me.
I love it when you talk sweetly to me.
I love it when, you know, you do things for me.
He's like, it just makes me go crazy.
Tell her that.
Hey, if you like it when your wife touches you in a way like maybe she just brushes your
hair or puts her hand on your leg or does whatever, tell her that.
Say, I just love it when you do this.
And you know what?
You have not because he asked not
He says, thy lips, O my spouse, drop as the honeycomb.
Honey and milk are under thy tongue,
and the smell of thy garments is like the smell of Lebanon.
A garden encloses my sister, my spouse,
a spring shut up, a fountain sealed.
Thy plants are an orchard of pomegranates
with pleasant fruits, campfire with spikynard,
spikynard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon
with all trees of frankincense, myrrh and aloes,
with all the chief spices, a fountain of gardens, a well.
living waters and streams from Lebanon. Awake, O North Wind, and come thou South.
Blow upon my garden that the spices there of me flow out. Let my beloved come
into his garden and eat his pleasant fruits." You know, when you praise your
wife, then she gets all excited and she's like, all right, come on, have
whatever you want. Enjoy your garden. But, you know, if you're not tending to your
garden, if you're not nourishing your garden, if you're not, you know, doing
sweet things in your garden, it's gonna close up shop for winter.
You want to just stay in that spring season and you know obviously things ebb and flow and if if this is a weak point
Well, you know what you get you get the fires burning you change the season, right?
You start talking and complimenting her and bring these things up and you know I
Just can't emphasize this enough you should just compliment your wife every day
And if that's uncomfortable for you start making it comfortable
That will really really improve things
You know, typically when I talk to people,
this is something that they're just not doing.
And it just, you know, it's just not going to,
you're not getting as close and as intimate as you can.
You need to lead by example.
And look, when you start complimenting her
and praising her often,
it'll open her up to want to compliment you more.
Song of Solomon chapter five, look at verse 16.
His mouth is most sweet.
Yay, he is all together lovely.
This is my beloved.
Notice this, and this is my friend.
You should be friends with your wife.
And, you know, there's nothing wrong with your wife being your friend or being your best friend.
In fact, I would hope that that's the case.
And you should try to enjoy her.
You know, look at chapter one verse two.
Nick Fuente has said, if your wife's your best friend, you're gay.
But the dude's gay because he doesn't have a wife.
And he said, being with a woman is gay.
I'm like, no, that's, you're gay.
You know this is what a lot of young men are listening to today. They're listening to Catholics
They're listening to online dweebs and weirdos and losers
They're listening to people like Andrew Tate that are talking and praising about being with horse
But here's the thing, you know
They're not going around sweet talking horse and they're not friends with the horse. They pay the whore to leave guys
You know and there's there's something sweet about you know having a friendship with your wife and being close to her and
sharing things and opening up and feeling vulnerable and you know you get that by
complimenting them and praising them and drawing close to them and they want that they desire their desire is to their husband
So, number one, you need to compliment her regularly.
You need to be a friend, you need to be friendly with her and you need to start that friendship.
But here's another thing, you should be physically touching your wife regularly that's non-sexual.
This is just a tip.
And you know, I've heard birds tweeting and they say things.
And I've just heard that some women, they feel a little bit uncomfortable being intimate
It's just a little bit awkward.
And here's the thing, if that's true
and she may feel uncomfortable even saying that to you,
what will help her?
You praise her and compliment her all the time.
You whisper even some interesting things to her.
But this, you're constantly touching each other,
but not only for that, okay?
What would this look like?
Well, here's one Song of Solomon chapter one verse two.
It says, let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth.
Just give her a regular kiss all the time.
Give your every time you leave the house give her a kiss before you leave
When you wake up give her a kiss when you walk by give her a kiss, you know when you're out hold her hand
Just walk up and hold her hand and just do that when you're out in public or whenever they're hey you're at the house and
You don't have anything going just go sit right next to her and just hold her hand
Just you know brush your hair back or something
or just massage her neck, or massage her shoulders,
or put your hand on her leg, or whatever.
You should just be constantly touching your wife.
And just, you know, when we talk about
Isaac or Rebecca in the Bible,
it says that he could figure out they were married
because they were sporting with one another.
And look, that is just a part of marriage.
That's a part of a relationship.
You know, when you're at church,
sit right next to your wife
and literally just put your arm around her.
Just grab her hand and hold her hand or something and look
I'm just telling you that that will make them feel more comfortable
It'll make them feel more special
It will improve things in your life when you are engaging in that kind of
Physical touch on a regular basis and then of course when you're alone it escalates all right. I
Don't need to tell you guys you have lots kids
And look, I'm focusing a little bit on wives here,
but look, we can apply this love to all areas.
Our children, hey, we need to show our love
to our brothers and sisters in Christ.
We want more friends.
You want your brothers to be closer to you.
You need to love them, take care of them, help them,
encourage them, buy them things.
You know, everybody likes that.
Buy your friend a lunch or something.
You know with the law so we need to love them first we go out there and we preach them the gospel if you want to get someone
Saved you got to basically take all the steps
You got to literally confront them with a Bible and say hi I can show you how to be saved and that's what it means to lead by
Example they're not going to come to you and get saved you got to go to them
And a lot of ways your wife isn't gonna love you,
you gotta love her first.
Your children are gonna love you,
you gotta love them first.
We gotta lead by example in the relationships that we have.
Go over to Proverbs 18, Proverbs chapter 18.
So number one, we need to lead by example in our word,
in our conversation, number three, in our charity or love.
Here's another important point is we need to lead by example in our spirit, which again
This is another word that I I find difficult
Because you hear spirit and it's like what does that mean?
But at school they would always have spirit week who had spirit week at school
Okay, yeah, and it was like every day was like a different day
You like dress up and all this stuff and it was it really what does it do? It's about your attitude
Right that's kind of what it is. I think the Bible helps us here get a little bit of an idea Proverbs 18 verse 14
The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity, but a wounded spirit
Who can bear?
So, notice again, the idea of like, hey, if you have a good attitude, you can get through
physical pain.
But man, when you just allow depression or bad ideas or a negative attitude to take
over you, no one can help you.
No one can fix it.
And I would argue that, you know, if you have a negative attitude or a depressive attitude
You can't get other people to fix that issue for you.
You have to fix it yourself.
Now, you can fix it yourself though through the Bible.
David encouraged himself in the Lord.
You know, you can allow God to help you,
but you know, at the end of the day,
you have to be the one just get over things
and just set things aside.
And I struggled with this when I was really young
where my brother picked on me a lot,
the whole family picked on me,
and I was kind of an outsider.
I was I was always excluded from everything because everybody's older than me and I mean
I remember my brother would just do the meanest things imaginable to me like
Really, honestly, I'm unimaginable. Okay, like
One example is I had a friend over and
He said we had these like water guns were shooting and my friend shot at my brother and he says hey if you do that again
I'm gonna kill you
And I'm like, okay, well, I'm not gonna do it.
So then my friend shoots him again.
So then my brother chases me down, holds me down,
and hawks a loogie about this big in my mouth
and makes me swallow it.
Okay.
Then, like another day, he liked playing hockey.
He just made me stand in the goal,
and he says, like, hey, you have to just take,
you have to block these shots.
And he says, if you don't, then I'm gonna hold you down
and I'll knock a loogie in your mouth.
So he would just take slap shots,
and he was eight years older than me.
So I'm five and he's 13 like almost a grown man just hitting slap shots. I was just getting beat
Whenever my parents would go on dates. They got the babysit, which was just a nightmare
So one night him and my sister they were so mad at me that they stripped me down in my underwear
And then they would drag me down the hallway to give me the worst carpet burn
You could ever imagine and then they would hang me on the wall by my underwear
So like I struggled. I would struggle like I would get really sad and depressed and I'd be upset about my situation and like
I feel like I was always picked on and this is what I would do. I would go in my room
I'm just being honest. This is what I would do every time. I would just go in my room turn off all the lights and I would just cry
I would just cry and cry and cry and this is what I was waiting for
I was waiting for someone to come in and feel sorry for me and you know what it never happened
No one ever came in there. No one ever felt sorry for me
Whenever everybody got to do something and I didn't get to do it
I would get depressed and I would be like mad and I'll go cry about it
And then there was this one day where I'm just sitting here like
Crying and being upset and I and I said no one's ever gonna come in here and feel sorry for me. I
Said this is never gonna happen
No one will ever come in here and ever feel sorry for me
And all that's happening is I'm just spending time just sitting here crying and moping when I could go and just do something and have fun
And I'm just telling you, like this was a pivotal moment
in my life where I just, I finally said, you know what?
Who gives it F, you know?
I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna live my stinking life
and no matter what stinking happens,
I'm just gonna get over it immediately
and just live my life.
Because there's no point sitting around crying about it.
There's no point in moping about it.
I can't fix it.
Yeah, I didn't like it.
Yeah, it wasn't fun.
Yeah, I'm not.
enjoying this but why would I sit here and moan about it and cry about it and
worry about it and waste time thinking about it I'm just gonna forget about it
and move on and live my life and then when I just started having fun again
it's like hey people want to interact with me again but going around crying and
moping and being like life isn't fair and bad things happen to me and I've
been wrong you know what I just said you know what I'm gonna pick myself up and
I'm just gonna fix my life and fix my situation and enjoy whatever I can do
because I can only affect myself and at the end of the day you know I just wish
everybody could learn that lesson because so many people struggle with this
and I'm just I'm just trying to tell them like hey I know your situation sucks I
know this is bad sorry this happened to you get over it you just need to get over
it and you need to just move on with your life hey you get fired from work
get over it get another job
You know something bad happens in your family get over it move on now again
Obviously, I'm not saying that we shouldn't have a time to mourn obviously if you lost a child your wife dies
Whatever hey, let's spend a little bit of time mourning about it, but you know eventually you do have to do what I just said
Eventually you just have to say okay. I'm gonna pick myself up. I'm gonna get over I mean think about David
He's mourning for his child as soon as his child's dead. What does he do? He just gets up. All right?
I can't do anything about it now. I'm gonna move on with my life
And you know what, as a leader, a leader sometimes just has to move on with his life.
In fact, God, I mean, this is the craziest story ever to me.
I don't know if it's the craziest or not, but it just always sticks out to me.
The Bible, God is just like trashing Ezekiel's life, okay?
I mean, he's happened to lay on his side for like hundreds of days, then he has to lay
on the other side, then he has to eat the shitty bread, literally, okay?
And then he's like, oh yeah, by the way, your wife's gonna die. You're not even allowed to cry about it
And I'm just I'm just always like what in the world?
Like God's just like hey, I'm just gonna kill your wife, and you can't even be sad about it
I'm like to me that would like break my heart. I mean that would devastate me
But you know what sometimes as a leader you have to just move on
Sometime as Aaron or Aaron's sons you have to say yeah, they haven't by who they're dead smoked. All right, we're moving on
Sometimes you just have to move on with life and leaders move on
Real leaders can just say you know what? I'm gonna have the right attitude. I'm gonna get over this
I'm gonna move on look at chapter 17 verse 22
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit dryeth the bones.
We have to fix our attitudes.
You have to figure out a way to be happy with your life.
You have to be merry and merry being happy will fix everything look when you're happy your wife will pick up on that energy
And she'll be happier and your kids will be happier and your friends will be happier and your church will be happier
And your work will be happier and your life will be happier when you're sad when you're depressed when you have a broken spirit
You know you're gonna drag everybody else down with you and as the man as the leader you have to set the tone
You have to set the example you have to be happy you have to figure out a way to be merry
And you know what get the joy of the Lord in your life
Look at chapter 25 and look at verse 28 look at chapter 25 verse 28
You think those Marines and boot camp and all this kind of stuff. They're enjoying their life
They have to just say like you know what I don't care about pain or whatever
I don't care about all these problems
They just have to figure out a way to just get the job done doesn't matter and sometimes you just have to get your
Emotions and check what does the Bible say Proverbs 25 verse 28?
He that have no rule over his own spirit is
Like a city that has broken down and without walls if you are a man
I'm saying like a real man, and you are a real leader
You do not live by your emotions. You tell your emotions what to do
You rule your own spirit. You are weak if you allow your own emotions to dictate your life
Hey, I don't I don't want to go to work. I don't like work. We'll just get over it and be happy about going to work
I don't like my life situation, figure out a way to get over it, and you know what?
You have to rule over your own spirit.
You have to change your attitude sometimes.
You have to get things right.
And you know what?
Not every emotion, not every attitude, not every opinion is right.
The Bible is right, and we have to align our emotions and our spirit with God's Word
and God's Spirit.
And we need to have a good attitude.
We need to be positive.
We need to be encouraging.
You know what?
You need to focus on the blessings that God has given you.
we the men in this room are very blessed compared to the rest of the world and we can always look down upon our lives
We could always look and say why wish I had as much money as Elon Musk or I wish I had the athletic prowess of
Some professional athlete or I wish I had more money or I wish I had this car
I wish whatever but at the end of the day, we're just so much better than almost everybody else already
Why can't you just be happy that you're in the top like five percent or one percent already?
I mean, who was like this is Kura.
Cor is not is not even content being in the Levitical priesthood
He has to be Moses or something to be happy with his life. It's like Heyman
He's like so powerful so much money, and he just can't be happy unless Mordecai vows down to him
And you know what some people it's like they just can't be happy unless they have just this one thing or something
It's like why can't you just be happy with what you do have? I mean you got high health
money, you're in a good church, you got friends,
you got all these opportunities before you.
You live in America, you can have brisket,
you can have steak, you can have all these things.
You're not in communism.
I mean, it's just like you should figure out a way
to enjoy the blessings that God's given you.
Your life could be so much worse.
And we just don't even know we need to figure out how to have that that positive attitude and lead by example and focus on the
Blessings that's God's given us focus on the victory that God's given us
You know if God before us who can be against us?
As for me in my house, we will serve the Lord
I can do all things through Christ with strength and is me. Hey, that's the attitude that you should have
I can do all things I can endure all things. You know, it doesn't matter if my job fires me
It doesn't matter if my wife has a bad day. It doesn't matter if my kids disobey. It doesn't matter if we're protested. You know what?
I'm going to keep going to church, and I'm going to keep reading my Bible, and I'm going
to keep going soul-winning, and I'm going to still be happy about it, and I'm just going
to serve God because I can do all things through Christ that's strengthened with me.
It doesn't matter what president we have, it doesn't matter what economy we have, it
doesn't matter how much they inflate the dollar and destroy our currency and destroy what's
going on.
I'm a man.
and I'm gonna lead by example and I'm gonna rule over my spirit and I'm not
gonna let Trump decide if I'm gonna be happy today. I'm not gonna let the Jews
decide if I'm happy today. I'm not gonna let my wife decide if I'm happy today.
I'm not gonna let my children decide if I'm happy today. You know what? As for me
in my house, we will serve the Lord and I can do all things and you know what? I'm
just gonna have a good attitude. You know what? That's what a leader does.
That's what a man does. Hey, when everybody's sad, I'm gonna be happy
When everybody's mad about the economy, I'm gonna figure out a way to be happy about the economy anyways
When everybody else is frustrated about life, you know what?
I'm gonna figure out a way to be happy and blessed about life when everybody else is discouraged about church
I'm gonna be happy about church and I'm gonna bring them into my attitude into my spirit
And you know what the spirit of a church is important
You can go into some churches and there's a bad spirit, there's a bad mojo.
You go into other churches and boy, it's on fire, there's zeal, and you know what?
It's infectious.
Whatever attitude is infectious.
You go into a bad spirit church and you start having a bad attitude and a bad spirit.
You go into a church that's on fire for soul winning and an infectious zeal for the word
of God.
You know what?
You start getting more excited about soul winning.
You get more excited about the things of God.
You know what? Spirit is important and it starts with all of us. We need to lead by example.
We need to lead our families and say, you know what? I'm excited about church.
I'm excited about the Bible. I'm excited about our life. I'm excited about our future.
I'm excited about the next kid that we're going to have. I'm excited about the next opportunities that we have.
You know what? That's going to make a huge difference and impact on your family, on your friends, on your church, on our world.
Someone needs to lead someone needs to have a good attitude, you know
That's one thing I just love about pastor Anderson
The dude is got like like the most positive attitude. I mean, he's been through the ringer on some stuff
And he's still more positive than me many times and I'm just thinking like what's wrong with you
You know, I'm thinking like but you know, it's not what's wrong with him. It's what's right with him
I'm thinking like what's wrong with me?
That's another thing I like about Pastor Oz.
Pastor Oz is one of the most positive people
I've ever been around.
Always seems to have a good attitude.
Even when going through university,
even going through difficulty,
he seems to just always have a positive outlook on life
and looking at the good.
And you know what, I like being around people like that.
I don't like being around people
that are negative about everything
and talking about everything they hate
and things that they don't like
and they're dissatisfied with and they want to attack.
I like being around people that are positive and excited
and want to actually accomplish something with their life.
I like those people.
Go over to Hebrews chapter 11. I like being around leaders
Hebrews chapter 11 look at verse 6 now he also brought up faith. We need a lead by word conversation charity spirit
How about this faith?
We need to be examples of faith now. What is faith?
Faith is the evidence of things that are not seen
So, faith is not something you can see, it's not something that you know for sure, it's
something you have to believe.
What is leading?
It's doing something no one else is doing.
So what is leading by faith?
It's doing something that no one else is doing that no one else can see.
that no one else can know that you believe will happen.
I mean, walking up to the Red Sea and just walk,
just put your foot in there, we're in the Jordan River
and just then watch in the water go,
walk into the lion's den, walk into the fiery furnace.
No one in the world knew that was going to turn out well.
What do they have to do they had to lead by example, and then they had to walk by faith
They had to do something that hey
I'm just gonna do whatever the Bible says
Whether it makes sense or not whether you can see it or not, and I'm just gonna trust that it works
You know, I'm gonna spank my kids. I don't know that that's gonna work
But I know the Bible's true, and I know the Bible's telling me to do it
And I know you know when I see people that don't do it. I'm thinking like your life's a train wreck
You know of the other if not spanking work, then wouldn't we have just a whole world filled with great kids I?
Seem to meet all these people that have really terrible kids that don't spank their kids. I'm thinking like they need some spank
It's I meet kids that are spanked that aren't good too, but at the end of the day what I do know is you do nothing
It's not gonna work
So by faith I'm gonna spank my kids
By faith, I'm going to put my wife in a dress and a skirt.
By faith, I'm going to take her to church.
By faith, I'm going to go out soul-winning.
You know, when I get someone saved,
I don't like see this like magical little token go off
or like a plus one or their little soul start glowing
or something like that.
How do I know they got saved by faith?
Look, and you know, people are always negative
on soul-winning, why?
Because you can't see it.
But you know what I can see?
I can see a whole bunch of people that got saved by faith
and now they're serving God and they're going soul winning.
What about those people? They count.
I mean, do the people in our church count?
Do some of the people that we got saved soul winning
every once in a while and they actually changed their life
and come to church? Do those people count?
So you can't see it, it's just you don't want to see it, do you?
Hebrews 11 verse 6, look at this,
but without faith it is impossible to please Him.
You know, if you're only living your life based on the things you know and you feel
certain about, then you're not pleasing God.
God wants you to do things that you can't see, that you can't know for sure.
Like what?
Obviously church attendance, reading your Bible, going soul-wanting.
These are things that you can't know for sure that it's going to work, but you're just believing
the Bible by faith.
You know, praying.
And, you know, your family is going to pick up on your example.
If you never pray with your family, they might think this guy doesn't have any faith.
But if you're praying with your family, if you're leading by example in this way, hey,
they're going to say, hey, this guy must have a lot of faith because when we have a problem,
he wants us to sit down and pray about it.
He actually thinks God can make an impact here.
You know tithing that's another one where it takes a lot of faith soul winning takes a lot of faith
You know when things are shaky
When you don't know what to do in a situation when you feel like you're at a crossroads
This is what I always give the advice just do whatever is the most spiritual thing make the spiritual decision
People like I don't know where to move. I don't know what job to have. I don't know who to marry
I don't know, you know, what to do in my life. Okay, make the spiritual decision
When you're at a crossroads and one seems like a more obvious spiritual decision make the spiritual decision
What is that? It's walking by faith. It's not walking by sight. It's not walking by what you think
Hey, you know what? We need to make decisions by faith sometimes, you know
Hey, a lot of you probably did make that decision moving across the country to go to a church
I mean dang that's a lot of faith
Some people moved and they didn't have a job or they didn't have things lined up. That's a lot of faith
But, you know, I've seen a lot of people be blessed through that.
I've seen people take a lot of steps like having a lot of kids.
That's a lot of faith sometimes, because this world's telling you to not have a lot of kids
or have, you know, us four no more.
You know, getting married is even just a step of faith sometimes.
Marrying a godly woman can be a step of faith, but you know what?
We need to be examples of faith.
I have one more I want to talk about.
Go to James Four.
Let's talk about purity for a second.
It says we need to be an example of purity.
Just right there, just turn to the right of hair.
James 4, look at verse 8.
The Bible says,
Notice that we're supposed to purify our hearts.
That's what it means to draw close to God, is to purify ourselves.
Titus 2.
I just want to go to a few places here. Go to Titus 2.
We'll notice the Bible emphasizing the idea that we need to be an example of purity.
And, you know, this will help you in your relationships, in your family, in your marriages.
When your wife sees you making an effort to be more pure, to be a more godly Christian,
to get sin out of your life, it will help them want to follow your lead.
Women have a hard time wanting to follow their husband when they see their husband just
Living in a sin or egregious sin or just making lots of problems and they're not making an effort to fix them
You know it can really discourage them, you know by purifying yourself
You're gonna do yourself a lot of service and what is being a leader again?
Doing things others are not
What is something that the world loves to do? How about drinking alcohol? What does a leader do a leader doesn't drink alcohol?
and that's gonna set some people off,
some people are gonna be really pissed about that.
I've had a lot, a lot of company outings
where I'm invited to go to the bar, go bar hopping,
literally, all these kind of things
and I just politely decline and I tell them these things
and you know what, it's never hurt me in my job.
Now I'm not saying that it couldn't hurt you, it could,
but that was a sacrifice that I'm willing to make
I'm not gonna drink alcohol, you know, I don't want to be in that environment now
I'm not saying that if we go to if my boss and then want to go to restaurant
They're gonna order, you know a drink or something. I'm gonna freak out or something
You know you have some discretion, but if we're gonna go bar hopping. I'm just gonna say no
You know if they're like, let's go to happy hour. I'm just gonna politely decline or you know try to use discretion
I'm not I'm just like you wicked ungodly fake Christian you
You know, I'm not acting like that. I just say hey, I'm gonna I need to go home
I've engaged with my wife or I'm gonna hang out with my family or if it really comes down to it
I'll just say sorry
I just don't drink and I try to stay away from that and a lot of people will be respectful
but you know what someone needs to step up someone needs to be the leader and
Purify themselves and when if your wife sees you drinking alcohol and doing these kind of things it's gonna really
discourage her Titus chapter 2 verse 14
Who gave himself for us talking about Jesus that he might redeem us from all iniquity and purify on himself a peculiar people
Zealous of good works. That was that good conversation
But notice we should be purified unto him be a peculiar be different go do the first John chapter 3
You're not like everybody else or a leader
You're setting an example. Well my whole family drinks. Okay be able to the leader be the first man in your family that doesn't drink
And they're like, wow, you know, I thought everybody that was cool drink, but uncle so-and-so doesn't drink and look how he has a bunch of cool
Yeah, like nice kids and they have a nice house and you know what? They're not living in the trailer house
They're not getting divorced. He's not beating his wife. He's not getting DUIs. He's not getting arrested
He doesn't lose his mind and start sounding like a child when he gets drunk
He doesn't just get enough rage of a fit and scream and yell and run out of the house. That's what drunkards do
You know what I like uncle so-and-so because he's a godly Christian. He's going to church. He's reading Bible
He doesn't drink alcohol and he's cool. I like hanging out with him. He's fun
He's safe. He's normal, you know lead by example in your family
And you say well, then they won't hang out with me. Well, then that's their problem
You know what? I'm gonna lead by example and say I don't want to do it
first John chapter 3 verse 3 and every man that had this hope in him purified himself
Even as he is pure, you know, we need to purify ourselves. We need to set that example
Don't drink alcohol. Just never drink it. Don't touch it. Just stay away from it as much as possible
We live in a world of drunkards. So you can't avoid it completely
But you know when you have the opportunity to not put yourself in the environment
The Bible does say abstain from all appearance of evil. I just try to stay away from it
Now does that mean that sometimes I'm not
Around it occasionally I am but you know what?
I'm trying my best to avoid it and I want to stay away from it
I don't want to put myself in a tempting position and if you are tempted in any way you should just run away
You should flee fornication. You should just flee temptation in general. You should just stay away from this also drugs
Do not smoke marijuana. Stay away from this nonsense. Stay away from fentanyl
You know what even be careful prescription drugs. Maybe just tolerate the pain or something
Now look if you had like serious surgery if you have some like major
accident or something, and you need pain medication,
I'm not fighting you, I'm not mad at you
or something like that, but you know,
you should only take medication
when it's needed and necessary,
not recreationally, not for fun,
stay away from these people,
get off the drinking, don't do drugs,
your wife will lose almost all respect for you.
If you're going to our church
and you drinking, you do drugs.
Don't think about it, what a hypocrite.
And if you're doing that, then she's thinking like,
I can do whatever I want then.
You know you think like oh, I'm safe. I go to a church that says that wives shouldn't divorce their husbands
But you also go to a church where you say you shouldn't drink alcohol
So if you drink alcohol, she might think well if he drinks alcohol, they're gonna divorce them
And you know a lot of men are not willing to purify themselves and do what's right
You know should wives divorce their husbands never but then a guy'll go out and commit adultery on his wife
And then demand her not divorce him. Well, look she should not divorce him and I'll never encourage that
But let me just tell you something. You don't have a lot of moral high ground to stand on
and you know I'm not I'm not sitting here excusing bad behavior I would never do
that well let me tell you something it's a lot easier to encourage your wife not
to divorce you when you're not committing adultery when you're not doing
drugs when you're not drinking all the time and you know maybe you don't go as
far as adultery but you know what don't subscribe to only fans either and look
let's just be honest about the world that we live in every man is tempted to
If you're not tempted to lust after other women, you're probably a faggot, or blind,
or both, or something, because that's a temptation common to man.
Every man struggles with that, and every man has a cell phone, and every man has the internet,
and every man has eyes, and every woman dressed in this world is a freaking whore,
and you know, the temptation abounds.
But let me tell you something, that's another thing that can eat at your marriage and eat at your wife,
if you're just looking at stuff you shouldn't, and she notices that and catches you,
she's gonna be really disappointed.
And you're gonna really hurt her and it's gonna be really hard for her to want to be intimate with you
It's gonna be really hard for her want to drill close to you
It's gonna be really hard for her to take the compliments that you've been given her
But see here the thing if you're constantly complimenting your wife and touching your wife and thinking about your wife
Then it'll be easier for you to not be thinking about someone else and doing those other stuff and you say well
But I need intimacy every day. Well then make that happen
You know, you say, hey, I struggle in this area.
Okay, every guy does.
Make a plan to fix it.
You know, talk to your wife and say, hey, I need help.
Maybe you don't have to say from that,
but just saying, I want this in our relationship.
This is what I need, this is what I want.
You know, hey, if you're tempted to do this
or go down this road, don't be like David
and just go out on the house top and do whatever.
You know, we should purify ourselves.
You know, if you're tempted to think about other women
or go down this road, call your wife.
Just bug your wife wake up your wife. Just just just start just just go be around your wife
Right change rooms get away from whatever situation you're in
Do push-ups?
I'm not even joking eat
Just go eat some food right go take a drive read Psalm 119 let's go to Psalm 119 for a second
Hey, here's something that you should maybe consider.
If you struggle in this area,
you wanna purify yourself in this area,
just keep your phone or computer away from you
when you're alone.
Only look at your phone or computer in public.
Or if it's a night just put it in another room or something like that and just just don't look at it
Because I think a lot of people I think a lot of men they struggle and they look at things
They shouldn't and that wasn't even their goal. They just it's just there's so many traps out there
There's so many temptations and you just go down a bad path. It's really easy to just go down a bad path
You single guys your solution is get married. All right
I have no other help for you, okay.
You're doomed, all right.
Just get married, all right.
And here's the thing, if you're actually trying
to avoid this, you'll want to get married a lot more.
And then start talking to more women, all right.
Read Psalm 119.
What does it say in verse, I said Psalm 119
and that is not the passage I was really wanting to go to.
I think I wanted to do 101.
I think I just was thinking of
a number in my head, and I wrote the one down wrong in my notes.
Psalm 101, it's like, let's just read Psalm 101 real quick.
Psalm 101, look at verse 3.
I will set no wicked thing before my eyes.
I hate the work of them that turn aside.
It shall not cleave to me.
You know, that's just a great verse to think about.
And, you know, we should try really hard to do this.
You know, I think every man's gonna struggle with this
for the rest of their life.
I think every man, this is gonna be a constant temptation,
but at the end of the day,
we should try to constantly work at solutions.
We should try to purify ourselves,
stay away from these things.
You know, at late at night, just don't get on YouTube,
don't scroll on your phone.
Don't look at the internet in private.
And here's the reality that some people don't realize is most of the time when men struggle
in this area, it doesn't start on the internet or the phone, it starts in the brain.
It starts with you having the thoughts.
And you can't necessarily prevent having thoughts, but what you can do is you can take captive
imaginations.
and when you start going down the bad path,
the bad thought train, you need to stop it immediately.
Because as soon as the temptation goes,
if you don't stop immediately, you start going down darker paths
and going down directions you don't want to go.
And it's just really important. Hey, you start having the thoughts that you shouldn't have.
Well, what should you do? Go to your wife, call your wife, change rooms, do push-ups,
eat, take a drive, think about this verse, read the Bible, get out of the situation.
You know, that's things that you should do. You shouldn't go down this path.
We should work on what? We should work on being a leader and doing things that other people won't do.
Most men won't do what I said. They'll just go down the temptation road and they're just gonna succumb to this
And they're just gonna let Jews run their life for the rest of their life
Jews own all the pornography
And let me tell you something they're they're not
They're now just trying to put out the weirdest and the most insane, disgusting things out
there to just ruin your brain and ruin your head and make you think things that are not
real and not true.
They're going to make you think that women want to do the weird, perverted things that
they never want to do.
They're going to implant all kinds of stupid ideas.
especially women's heads you know they're trying to get women to be with
these you know degenerate thugs and weirdos and freaks and just ruining
themselves and ruining their lives and ruining their bodies and you know what
we should just stay away from that not support that never give a dime to this
crap kind of crap you know you know we need to fix this kind of a problem and
we need to purify ourselves you know it's it's it's important
What does the Bible say in verse number six my eyes shall be upon the faithful of the land that they may dwell with me
He that walketh in a perfect way. He shall serve me
You know people that are faithful and serving God want to be around other faithful people and you're if you're purifying yourself
If you're improving yourself, you know what your wife your kids everybody's gonna want to get on board and
Look, we're all gonna make mistakes. We're all gonna slip, you know, the just man fall seven times
But here's the thing he rises up again
And when we make mistakes, when we make problems,
when we do things that aren't right,
hey, the leader figures out a way,
hey, I don't wanna do this anymore, I wanna fix it.
I wanna change it, I wanna make improvements in my life.
And you know, there's other areas of life.
Maybe if you're lazy, make a plan to fix that.
Maybe you're not talking to your wife,
make a plan to fix that.
Maybe you're not enjoying your family the way it is,
or enjoying church or these things,
because you have a bad attitude, okay, fix your attitude.
You know we need to really really be leaders we need to lead by example do things that no one else is gonna do because if we don't do them
No one else is gonna do them
And if we don't do them, no one's going to follow our example.
And if we don't do them, our wives aren't going to do them.
And if we don't do them, our children aren't going to do them.
If we don't purify ourselves, how can we expect our wives and our children to purify themselves
and try to become better persons and better people?
You know, we need to start the conversations.
We need to lead spiritually the conversations of their wife.
We need to say things others won't.
We need to have the good works and we need to work harder than other people put away the childish things
We need to love people first. We need to love our wife love our friends love our church love our family
Love the lost we need to be the first mover be that friend. You need to compliment your wife every day
You should touch her all the time
Not just for that intimacy
Put your arm around her give her a kiss give her a hug touch her hair you married her you get to touch her
Then do it so that someone else doesn't touch her
You know be that person to be that shoulder to cry on because she's gonna cry a lot for no reason
You know be that person to hold her in tight to take care of her. Hey, I just pick her up
Sometimes I just pick my wife up. I just want her to know I can pick her up and you know
Hey, just just I'm constantly touching my wife because I get to it's my wife
Go and slap her ass. Okay
Go pinch your butt or something
You know touch her in all the places that her dad wouldn't let you when you were dating, you know, it's your wife
And I'm telling you like it's not just intimacy
I'm just saying just if you're constantly flirting with your wife and touching your wife and complimenting your wife
Look, I'm just telling you it's gonna improve things
And I'm trying to encourage you seeing that I get a wife. It's awesome. All right
Yeah, I agree it is the best and you know if you have a bad attitude just fix it
And you know you see you guys have a good having good attitude is a big deal when it comes to getting married even because I said in a
Previous sermon, I'll repeat it again. You only need one of three things. You need to either have money
Good looks or confidence and if you don't have money or good looks you need to get confidence
Okay, now if you have all three you're in the jackpot. I mean it's not about getting one woman. It's about picking one of litter
But I'm just telling you, that's all you need. You just need one of those
to work on it. And look, confidence is a big deal. As a man, confidence is
something women are looking for.
Why? Because they want to be led. They want you to lead them.
And as a husband, be confident. Be someone that someone wants to be around.
Be positive. Be encouraging. Be someone that has a good attitude.
It makes a world of difference. If the Bible says I can do all things through
Christ that strengthens me,
You should have that I can do anything. I could even marry an American woman. I
Mean look brother a mo brother a moan from Vavor Baptist Church. Did you know that he was born in the Philippines?
And this is what I was thinking like this guy's like the ultimate Chad because he's a man born in the Philippines came to America and married on a
white American woman
And it's like guys over here are complaining like they can't get it done
This guy in the Philippines is coming over here and get the job done. You know what I mean?
You know take a page out of Samson's book, you know when he met his wife. She was dating some other guy
But I guarantee you didn't look like Samson. I
Guarantee he didn't act like Samson
And you know why because Samson was a leader. He said hey break up with him and come out with me
And he just got the job done. He was a leader. He just led by example
She doesn't have a ring on it. You know you just figure out a way to get it done
Do something that he couldn't do
We need to lead by faith. We need to actually trust what the Bible says and do things that the Bible says even when it doesn't
Make sense carnally or we can't see it. Your family says hey, that's crazy to do these things. It's crazy to live this way
Well, you know what? That's what the Bible says and I'm gonna live by faith and that's it's pleasing into God
And of course we need to be example of purifying ourselves stay away from all the vices of this world
Don't go gambling. Don't go drinking. Don't do the drugs
You know try to just think about your wife try to not think about other women
And of course, all these things are going to be big temptations.
I mean, show me a guy in the Bible that had his nuts and didn't think about women all the time, okay?
I mean, every's like Daniel, but it's like, I don't know if he had his nuts, okay?
So, he has an excuse.
But I'm just saying, like, what is the problem with every guy in the Bible?
Have you noticed?
There's a problem with all the guys in the Bible, and, you know, it causes them all kinds of problems.
And we need to be really careful, we need to try our best to purify ourselves, Paul gave us the solution, you have a wife.
You know, that's the solution if you have the wife use the wife
This is your only time you got to go the reps in because when we get to heaven you're not even married anymore
All right, I mean it's thing like why are you wasting this opportunity?
You have the opportunity now you got to get the reps in now
You know and you know I don't use all the the modern inventions like birth control pills or something
You know if your wife takes these pills you won't want to have intimacy with you
If you're doing natural family planning like the Catholic sheet, then you have all this
time where you don't get to be intimate.
You know, if you do the new IV method, it's like, we're on like doggie-gong every time,
you know?
Every day that ends in Y. You know what I mean?
And it's like, oh, how are you supposed to not have these problems and not have these
issues?
Well, because I want to be intimate with my wife and I want to have a relationship with
my wife and I want to be close to her.
And you know what, that is what's going to actually help you with that attitude problem
too.
I just I have two concluding thoughts and and look I've said a lot hopefully at least one thing you stick with but
number one thing that I think I really want to see people do is just lead your family spiritually when you go home
When you get back from this
Start doing some spiritual leading
That can look different to to you and your family, but just do something right start reading the Bible with your family more or do prayer with
Your family or do something that you haven't been doing before get in a new habit a new pattern a new routine and
Start doing something. You know, don't we believe in the priesthood of the believer?
You don't have to be the pastor to lead your family spiritually
You have to be saved in a man and if you're saved in a man, you should lead your family do something spiritual
You know if you're a single guy
Obviously, you should consider doing something spiritual daily even for yourself.
Making sure that you're still reading your Bible, praying, doing something spiritual
every day.
If you feel like you're not going in a good direction, then just ramp it up a little bit
more.
Just a little bit more.
Maybe memorize a little extra Bible or something like that.
But do something spiritual every day.
Number two is you need to lead in loving your wife.
Don't expect your wife to love you.
You just love her.
Don't expect your wife to be logical.
You be logical.
Don't expect your life to be rational.
You be rational.
Don't expect your wife to make decisions.
You start making the decisions.
And I'll just tell you, wives like men
to make decisions for them.
Does that mean you make every decision? No, sometimes you can give options, but I'm telling you
You know
It'll really help you in your life when you're making decisions and you're helping leading and you're planning and you're scheduling
And you have a vision for your life and you need to lead by example by just loving them and look women
When you are making plans for them, this is what they think he cares about me. He's thinking about me when you're not
This is what they're saying. You never think about me. You never connect with me
You're never doing anything with me, you know think about it with your boss at work
What if you know wouldn't it be nice if your boss came to you on Monday morning and said hey
I've been really thinking about you at work
And I'm I'm wanting to create a five-year plan for you and I'm wanting to elevate you and I'm wanting to promote you
And I'm wanting to involve you and do all these things you'd be thinking like I like this
But if your boss says hey, I'm not gonna give you any feedback anymore. We're not gonna talk
I have no idea what I'm gonna do with you. You would kind of feel like hey, I'm not that special of the company
I'm not important. He might fire me tomorrow
And I'm like if that's how you feel how does your wife feel when you have no vision no plan no
Scheduling you not making any kind of effort or energy to connect with her. Well, then she could get that feeling as well
We need to be leaders and
You know the world's not going to fix itself and the world's not going to preach the gospel to itself. We have to do it
We have to be the ones to do it starts with us
We need to start improving ourselves and then leading those around us and look when you start leading those around you
Often God will give you more people to lead
But when you're not even leading the people he's given you why would he want to give you more and why would he want to bless what you're doing?
In fact, I don't think God often wants to bless you when you're not leading well because
he doesn't want you to stay where you're at.
He doesn't want you to think that you're doing a good job because if you're just being
so blessed by being a crappy leader, then why would you change?
Maybe your life sucks because you suck at leading.
And if you'd actually start leading better, God would make your life a lot better so that
And you know, everybody wants to blame everyone else,
but we need to start blaming ourselves.
And we need to start looking inward
and trying to work on ourselves and improve ourselves.
And if you don't like your situation,
the only person that's gonna fix it is you.
Let's close in prayer.
Thank you Heavenly Father so much for the men in this room.
Thank you for the word of God.
Thank you for giving us opportunities
to fix our situations and our lives.
Thank you for the Bible to encourage us and to give us wisdom.
I pray that we would be strong,
that we would use the strength that you've given us to lead.
That we could lead our wives that we could lead our children that we lead our families that we could lead our brothers and sisters in
Christ we could lead in soul-winning we can lead in church
We could get people saved we could lead by being a godly Christian. We could clean up our lives
I pray that you would just help all of us to just lead in more spiritual ways that you would help us to have a renewed attitude and
A can-do attitude an attitude that is not afraid of this world, but rather embraces the challenges
I pray that when we have obstacles and difficulty instead of feeling sorry for ourselves that
we'll encourage ourselves and we'll lead.
I pray that you would encourage the men, that you would strengthen them, that you would
help them, that you would give them wisdom, that you would help them make good plans,
that you would give them great vision, that you would speak to them in the Word of God
to help them as they lead and as they make decisions, that they would make the right
decisions.
In Jesus' name we pray.
Amen.
Let's do Psalm 67.
Here on the first.
Thy saving health among all nations, let the people praise Thee, O God, let all the people praise Thee, O let the nations be glad, and sing for joy, for Thou so judge.
The nations upon earth, the nations upon earth, see love.
Let the people praise thee, oh God.
Let all the people praise thee.
Oh, let the nations be glad and sing for joy.
God, you'll bless us in all the ends of earth, shall spear him, let the people praise thee,
O God, let all the people praise thee, O let the nations be glad and sing for joy.